Alexandra Ureña nos comparte su historia junto a Edu, un amor tan profundo que sigue brillando más allá de la vida. A través de una conversación desde el corazón, honramos su legado, su familia y el mensaje más poderoso: la vida es hoy, y hay que amar sin reservas.
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00:00Ale, with love, tells us how the grief goes on.
00:03Why did you take him?
00:06It's a lie, you're not good.
00:09I felt that God told me,
00:11and then all the beautiful life that you have had,
00:14all the blessings, your daughters in health,
00:17the great love that you lived, everything,
00:19none of that now exists.
00:23Because Eduardo is not here.
00:25For me, being here is honoring our love
00:28that remains forever.
00:30How has your thinking about life and death
00:35and faith changed?
00:37Because you thought that good people
00:40didn't go through bad things.
00:42How strange it is that the one who took him
00:45and the one who caused me the greatest pain in his departure
00:49is also the one who supports me and gives me this love.
00:52That's what we need when we lose someone.
00:54We need them to let us cry.
00:56Because you may be uncomfortable with my pain,
00:58but you go to your house,
01:00and you have your partner and your children, and I don't.
01:02A person who is looking at us right now,
01:05is in that moment of total anguish,
01:07where he doesn't see the light.
01:09What would you tell him to comfort him?
01:26I feel super happy to have you here.
01:28Ale, I receive you with a lot of love.
01:31Alexandra Ureña, a woman on the edge,
01:34with an important testimony
01:37to share with us, to edify us,
01:40so that many of us know that they are not alone.
01:44And the truth is that I want to start by putting in context
01:47who is Alexandra Ureña.
01:50Thank you for having me here.
01:52I feel very honored to be able to talk about
01:55my whole process.
01:57I am Alexandra Ureña,
01:59I am a clinical psychologist,
02:01I am a mother of two beautiful girls,
02:05and recently a widow.
02:10The creator of Ale con Amor,
02:13which is a platform to serve
02:15every woman who wants to love herself,
02:19who wants to embark on that journey of self-love,
02:22of connection also with God,
02:24and with his purpose.
02:26Ale and I didn't really know each other,
02:29but we did know each other
02:31by phone, by WhatsApp, by Instagram,
02:34when I invited you to the radio show
02:36to talk about Ale con Amor.
02:38However, the day Ale left, I wasn't there.
02:41So we didn't get to know each other,
02:43and I stayed with her.
02:45I followed her and thought about her.
02:48One day, very recently,
02:50I found out, Ale, that you had just lost
02:53your husband, the love of your life,
02:56the father of your daughters,
02:58your great love, Edu, Eduardo.
03:01And when I realized,
03:03from some things I saw on your social media,
03:06how desolate you were,
03:09how fast it was,
03:11I immediately put you in my heart.
03:14Because in a different way,
03:16I have lived the pain,
03:18the sudden pain.
03:20That comes without warning.
03:22Yes.
03:23And I saw your handling,
03:26your process, from afar,
03:30with your daughters.
03:32And listen to me,
03:33not only are you surviving,
03:35but in the midst of the tears,
03:37you have been able to continue with your role as a mother,
03:39as a woman who empowers women.
03:41Ale, let's talk a little bit
03:44about the love story
03:46of Alexandra and Edu.
03:48It's still a story.
03:50I say that as long as I'm alive,
03:54that love doesn't die.
03:57I met Edu in 2015.
04:00I lived in Punta Cana,
04:02and so did he.
04:05And coincidentally,
04:07his sister, who is my sister-in-law,
04:09was my boss at the time.
04:13For me, Edu and I met spontaneously.
04:16But then he told me that his sister,
04:18ever since she saw me, told him,
04:20look, there's a girl who's just like you,
04:22white, with short, skinny hair.
04:25And he had me in his sight,
04:27but he didn't dare.
04:29He told me.
04:30And on the birthday of a mutual friend,
04:34we met.
04:35And we started talking,
04:37and that's when a beautiful love story began.
04:42How long before you got married?
04:44Very little.
04:45Edu was...
04:46I tell him that Edu was ready
04:48to marry me.
04:50And he saw me,
04:51and two days after we met,
04:53we went out,
04:54and he told me that I wanted to be his girlfriend.
04:56And I said, hey, wait.
04:58Wait, let's take it easy.
05:00And we met,
05:02I think it was November 2015,
05:05and already in December 2016,
05:09we were engaged.
05:11And in June 2017, we were married.
05:13So a year and a half after we met,
05:15we were already married.
05:16And how long did it take to have both girls?
05:19Mila was born in 2020,
05:22and Carlota was born 40 days before he died.
05:27You've heard of the red thread theory,
05:30a theory that comes from Asia.
05:31Yes, that are connected.
05:32The twin soul.
05:33Yes.
05:34Do you really believe that he was your twin soul today?
05:38I think we chose each other a long time before...
05:42I believe in, as they say, past lives,
05:46and I feel like this love is not a love of now,
05:49it's a love forever.
05:53And I wrote to him in 2019,
05:56that no matter what happens,
05:57our love was a love that overcame the physical barriers of this world.
06:02And now, unfortunately, I confirm it.
06:05I feel like we had a mission together,
06:10and we still have it.
06:12Just yesterday I was crying,
06:14and I felt in my heart that he told me,
06:16Ale, I'm with you, and this mission is together.
06:20Because I honor him.
06:22As you said, for me, being here is honoring
06:24the love story that we went through,
06:28and the great life that Edu lived.
06:31Not just with me, he gave himself to everyone.
06:35Edu was a life, as they say, a life that was worth a lot.
06:39He was recognized by everyone who knew him,
06:41family, friends, co-workers.
06:43You know how they always say,
06:44after you die, what happens next?
06:46No, Edu was recognized in life,
06:48in his work,
06:49his employees.
06:50Tell me about Edu.
06:56A great guy.
07:05A relationship that lasted a long time.
07:09Almost a decade.
07:10Nine years.
07:14Edu...
07:17Edu lived for us.
07:19For me, for his daughters.
07:24Edu was a totally helpful man.
07:33Wherever he went, if he was here,
07:35if he was helping her record,
07:38if he was worried about the light,
07:43if he was making videos for me,
07:45he was a man who lived at the service of others.
07:49I would ask you, without knowing you,
07:50if you need something.
07:54Cheerful, kind, sincere, honest,
07:57a super leader in his work.
08:00I can't explain the number of employees
08:02who write to me and talk to me so beautifully about him.
08:06And I say, how nice,
08:08that my daughters,
08:10no one is going to speak ill of their father.
08:13I mean, my daughters, from the inside,
08:14have a genetics of love, of service.
08:21And I always say that
08:23that man was, is,
08:25because he remains in me,
08:26so wow,
08:28that this pain that eats my soul,
08:30I won't change it
08:31by repeating my story with him again.
08:34Were you really sure that Edu was yours forever?
08:37100%.
08:39The truth is that
08:41when I found out that
08:43Edu left one day
08:45and did not return,
08:47I identified with that feeling
08:50of realizing, all of a sudden,
08:53that life is fragile.
08:56I don't know if it happened to you,
08:57but one always thinks
08:58that those things that one hears and sees
09:01happen to others.
09:04But one thinks that one is not going to be touched
09:06or that good people don't go through those things.
09:08I felt,
09:09I can tell you,
09:10and that is also a pain that I do,
09:13because people sometimes think that it is only the person,
09:16it is the whole life and who I was.
09:20And I was a woman
09:21who really believed herself to be very protected.
09:25And it doesn't mean that I am not protected,
09:27but I really thought from the bottom of my heart
09:30that nothing bad was going to happen to me.
09:33I could swear it.
09:34I understand you.
09:35I felt like
09:36God chose me for this life
09:38for me to have a beautiful life,
09:40for me to have a protected life,
09:41for me to have the man of my life.
09:44We were so happy.
09:46I fulfilled my purpose in life,
09:48him with his,
09:49we had our daughters,
09:50and I said, wow.
09:51Sometimes I get a little bit of things,
09:53like you say,
09:54why is my life so beautiful
09:55and so many bad things happen to people?
09:57Well, God,
09:58maybe then I had to teach
10:00that one can be happy
10:02and boom.
10:05Let's remember a little bit
10:07that day four months ago.
10:09On October 27th, Sunday.
10:11On October 27th,
10:13last October 27th.
10:14Exactly.
10:152024.
10:16Where were you going?
10:17What time was it?
10:20Eduardo was coming from the capital,
10:23well, he was going from the capital to Santiago
10:25because we live in Santiago.
10:27You live in Santiago, exactly.
10:28I still live there.
10:30He had a training,
10:31he was also a judoka,
10:33judoka for many years,
10:34very recognized,
10:35and he belonged to the army
10:37for being a judoka.
10:38Wow.
10:39He had some practices.
10:40So he was an athlete too.
10:41Yes, a super athlete.
10:45He had some practices that Sunday.
10:47He always went with some friends,
10:49some judo partners from Vega,
10:52three,
10:53and him.
10:54There were four.
10:56And they left in the morning.
10:59I'll tell you the night before
11:01because for me it's very important
11:02the way we said goodbye.
11:04Since the baby was just born
11:06and he had to get up
11:07five o'clock in the morning,
11:09we decided that he was going to sleep
11:10in the room next door
11:11and that I would sleep with the baby
11:12so he could sleep.
11:16And just before he went to sleep,
11:18I remember that he snored next to me in bed
11:20and I was going to tell him
11:21that the food smelled a lot
11:23and I thank God so much
11:25that we shared that moment.
11:28And I remember that he came up to me
11:29and kissed me on the mouth
11:30and said,
11:31I love you.
11:32See you tomorrow.
11:33It's not normal when you live together
11:35to say goodbye that way.
11:37We did it.
11:38He left.
11:39In the morning we didn't see each other.
11:41We were talking
11:42because he told me
11:43that we were going to make octopus
11:44with daddy in the afternoon
11:46because my in-laws also live in Santiago.
11:49And we stayed there,
11:50like in that conversation,
11:51ah yes, my princess, la la la.
11:54And at 11...
11:55What time was that last conversation?
11:57The last time we talked
12:00was at 11.30 in the morning.
12:03Yes, 11.30 in the morning,
12:0511.50,
12:07practically,
12:08my in-laws go to my house
12:10and tell me that they had an accident.
12:13I immediately start crying
12:15because my in-law tells me
12:16that Eduardo is the only one who is serious.
12:19He is the most serious
12:21and I immediately go to my room
12:23and I kneel.
12:24And I start praying
12:25and telling God,
12:26take care of me,
12:27take care of me, take care of me.
12:29And I don't know if it has happened to you
12:31that you feel like the voice of God
12:33and I felt that God told me
12:35that he is already taken care of.
12:36And then I got more serious
12:38because I said,
12:39no, no, no, no, no,
12:40leave him here,
12:41I ask you for God.
12:42I started packing
12:44with the clothes from the clinic,
12:45everything,
12:46because in my head
12:47we were going to the clinic,
12:48my husband,
12:49never,
12:50that did not cross my mind
12:51that my husband was going to heaven.
12:54And my father-in-law leaves,
12:57it was at kilometer 40,
12:59it is super far from Santiago,
13:01more here in the capital,
13:03exactly.
13:04And my father-in-law leaves
13:05and tells me if I want to go with him,
13:07I say no because I have the baby,
13:08the girl,
13:09I stay with my mother-in-law,
13:10we are going to wait to go together.
13:12And already in the middle of the road,
13:14unfortunately,
13:15my father-in-law is told
13:16that Eduardo has died.
13:18My father-in-law
13:19communicates it to us
13:21by phone.
13:23And there,
13:25I can tell you
13:26that I thought it was a lie,
13:28I mean,
13:29I lasted a long time
13:30to understand that it was true.
13:31I asked God
13:32that it was a lie,
13:33that he would revive them,
13:34that my father would call me,
13:35that my father-in-law would tell me,
13:36no, it's not true,
13:37because even if he did not see him,
13:39I would not believe it was true.
13:40And when my father-in-law
13:41called me,
13:42he said, really,
13:43really.
13:44I mean,
13:45he did not go to the hospital?
13:46No,
13:47he died instantly.
13:48Was it a car accident?
13:49No accident,
13:50because a branch
13:51fell on the car,
13:56he lost his vision.
13:59Then he tells me,
14:00my father-in-law,
14:01that the boys told him
14:02that there was a person
14:03walking on the road,
14:04he tried not to hit him,
14:05thank God,
14:06he didn't hit him either.
14:08I tell my daughter,
14:09your father,
14:10died like a hero
14:11because he left,
14:12it was him,
14:13but...
14:17So he maneuvered
14:18so as not to hit that person,
14:20and that's where he comes
14:22and crashes into another car?
14:23Against the wall,
14:24that yellow wall
14:25of the highway.
14:26Oh, yes, yes, yes.
14:27Then immediately
14:28he hits his head,
14:33and I thought
14:34he had stayed a few minutes,
14:35but he really died instantly.
14:38One of the boys
14:39did not have a belt
14:40and he left,
14:41he was in intensive care
14:42for almost a week,
14:43but he survived.
14:45And the other two boys
14:47went to the funeral
14:48the next day,
14:49that is,
14:50they were intact.
14:52And if they told me
14:54that Eduardo had been talking
14:55all the way,
14:56well,
14:57the short way
14:58before the accident,
14:59about the baby,
15:00how happy he was,
15:05and they told me
15:06that he did not suffer.
15:08Does that comfort you a little?
15:10A little.
15:11A little.
15:14A little.
15:15Yes, because he did not deserve it.
15:17A friend asked me
15:18if God had given me the opportunity
15:20to at least see him in the clinic.
15:23And for me,
15:24for me, yes,
15:25but he did not deserve to suffer.
15:28And God,
15:29at least in that part,
15:34his soul,
15:36his soul is intact.
15:38How has your thinking
15:40about life and death
15:42and faith changed?
15:44Because you thought
15:46that good people
15:47did not have bad things happen to them,
15:49and that you had been very blessed
15:51and were being very careful,
15:53and that happens
15:54and the floor moves.
15:56How has your feeling
15:58and your mentality
16:01changed in this new stage?
16:04Well, that first month,
16:06I was very angry with God.
16:10I really did not imagine
16:12being here.
16:13I did not imagine
16:15coming back.
16:17A part of me has returned.
16:20I did not imagine
16:21thanking God for anything.
16:25But one day,
16:27I was very,
16:28very,
16:29very upset.
16:30I was screaming in the car.
16:32I told him,
16:33you do not love me.
16:41Why did you take him?
16:45It's a lie,
16:46you are not good.
16:50And I felt that,
16:53I felt that God told me,
16:55and then,
16:56all the beautiful life
16:57that you have had,
16:58all the blessings,
16:59your children in health,
17:01the great love that you lived,
17:03everything,
17:04none of that now exists
17:07because Eduardo is not here.
17:10And that made me reflect a lot.
17:15It made me focus.
17:19The pain does not go away.
17:20That's what I tell people.
17:22The pain does not go away.
17:24The pain does not go away.
17:25But at least I have
17:27flashes of light.
17:29That is,
17:30when I began to let myself be held by God
17:32again,
17:34or to see that He always held me,
17:37not to let myself be held
17:38because He always held me,
17:40is that I have begun to
17:43see the light in the darkness.
17:46So you found the strength
17:47in God.
17:48In God.
17:49In whom I always say,
17:50because people say,
17:51he is not the culprit,
17:52but so,
17:53that is,
17:54when I write,
17:55which helps me a lot to write,
17:56I always put,
17:57how strange it is
17:59that who took it
18:00and who caused me the greatest pain
18:03in his departure
18:04is also who holds me
18:06and who gives me this love.
18:08People say,
18:09no, because it is not his fault,
18:10but it is not from the part of guilt,
18:12it is that,
18:13as they say,
18:14that is,
18:15not a leaf from a tree
18:16can fall if God does not allow it.
18:18So if this happened,
18:19it's because I was inside the plan,
18:21whatever the plan of God,
18:23that in the end
18:24I don't even try to understand it
18:26because what I do is that I surrender,
18:30that is,
18:31every day I surrender to God.
18:34How do you define Ale
18:36from before this brutal loss
18:40to now?
18:41What other things is Ale learning
18:48from real life?
18:50From fire.
18:53Well, I feel,
18:54I see it like a movie,
18:55like I was a queen,
18:57I was in my castle,
18:59very beautiful,
19:00very happy,
19:01and God told me,
19:04no,
19:05you have to,
19:07I mean,
19:08you have to fight
19:09to come back,
19:10like, boom.
19:11And I feel like
19:12they threw me out of a castle,
19:13they put an armor on me
19:15and they sent me on a horse to war.
19:19But what I always tell my companions,
19:21widowed friends too,
19:22is that I feel
19:24that,
19:25and I said that from day one,
19:27I don't know why,
19:31that,
19:32like the rich people
19:33who go bankrupt
19:34become rich again,
19:37I feel that there is no way
19:39for me to visualize a life,
19:42even with the greatest pain in my heart,
19:44there is no way
19:45for me to visualize a life
19:46where I stay down.
19:49Wow.
19:50Wow.
19:52How do you,
19:53being a psychologist
19:54and a coach,
19:56work precisely
19:57looking for a purpose
19:59and supporting women
20:01to start
20:03with your project
20:04Ale con Amor,
20:05how have your knowledge
20:07and your wisdom
20:09been able to apply it
20:10in this duel?
20:12Honestly.
20:13Exactly.
20:14Honestly,
20:15I don't see it as,
20:16what,
20:17like I'm a psychologist,
20:18I'm helping myself,
20:19I've really had to go
20:20to the psychologist.
20:21Of course.
20:22Especially because
20:23it's not the same,
20:24the psychologist that I am,
20:25than a duel specialist.
20:26Totally.
20:29I think that,
20:30above all,
20:31life has helped me,
20:32like,
20:33if God had prepared me
20:34for this moment,
20:36because since I was little,
20:37my parents always put me
20:38in growth courses,
20:41I read a lot,
20:42I,
20:43my mom and dad
20:44kind of prepared me,
20:45always,
20:46you are a champion,
20:47you can do everything with God,
20:48self-esteem.
20:49That, exactly.
20:50Wow, how beautiful.
20:51I think that love
20:52that I feel for myself
20:53and for God,
20:56more than the,
20:57than the psychology itself,
21:01has helped me understand
21:02that,
21:04if I had a great life,
21:05very beautiful,
21:07God will help me
21:08to have it different.
21:10I will never be the Ale
21:11that I was,
21:13in the sense of innocence.
21:15I mean,
21:16I see myself in videos
21:17and I say,
21:18how beautiful,
21:19how,
21:20how beautiful,
21:21because I felt so protected
21:22and now,
21:23like,
21:24another type of beauty
21:25that was not what I wanted,
21:26like,
21:27with a hardness of life.
21:28A newborn baby
21:29and a little one.
21:32How did you handle
21:33the girls
21:34in the midst of your own pain,
21:36above all,
21:37in the first moment?
21:38The big one.
21:39I told her right there.
21:41I don't even know how.
21:43I remember that I looked at my mother-in-law,
21:44we were in the room,
21:45I was crying,
21:46my mother-in-law was crying
21:48and I told her,
21:49I'm going to tell her,
21:50I have to tell her
21:51because we're leaving,
21:52we're packing our bags
21:53and we're leaving
21:54and she keeps seeing us crying.
21:55I said,
21:56look,
21:57I'll sit with her,
21:58that's God,
21:59really.
22:00How old was she?
22:01She was four.
22:02Wow,
22:03a baby too?
22:04A little girl,
22:05but very mature too,
22:06very,
22:07very mature.
22:08And I sat down
22:09and I told her,
22:10mom,
22:11look,
22:12dad was in the car,
22:13he had an accident
22:14and dad went to heaven
22:15and she didn't understand it,
22:16of course,
22:17at the moment she was like,
22:18what?
22:19Ah,
22:20ok,
22:21my dad went to heaven
22:22and he's normal.
22:23And in those hours
22:24of the road,
22:25she begins to understand it
22:26and then she also went to the funeral,
22:28I talked to
22:29psychologists
22:30to see how I could do it,
22:32she went to the funeral,
22:34I wasn't going to show her dad
22:35unless she asked me,
22:36she asked,
22:37she saw him,
22:38I carried her,
22:39I say that everything
22:40is the Holy Spirit,
22:41really,
22:42that sustains one
22:43at that moment
22:44because I see myself now
22:45and I say,
22:46how did I do that?
22:48God,
22:49because there is no
22:50human way
22:51to do those things.
22:52I carried her,
22:53she saw her dad,
22:54she touched him,
22:56she said goodbye to him
22:57and said,
22:58daddy,
22:59let's pray for you,
23:00I love you.
23:01My God,
23:02four years.
23:03Four years,
23:04and she,
23:05of course,
23:06her subconscious
23:07took that away
23:08and she doesn't remember
23:09that moment,
23:10but that happened.
23:11But she had her farewell.
23:12No,
23:13we talked,
23:14we talked,
23:15I talk to her about her dad,
23:16she talks to me about her dad,
23:17she sees photos of him
23:18and I tell her,
23:19he is alive,
23:20but in heaven,
23:21that is,
23:22he is invisible,
23:23but you can talk to him,
23:24you can send him love,
23:25he loves you forever,
23:26his brain still
23:27doesn't understand
23:28that much,
23:29obviously,
23:30but there is
23:31the openness
23:32to talk
23:33and always talk
23:34about dad,
23:35she sees mom crying,
23:36she knows
23:37that mom
23:38is giving her everything.
23:39She cries
23:40in front of the girl.
23:41Yes,
23:42of course,
23:43she has seen me.
23:44You were saying
23:45that you had
23:46a group of widows.
23:47Yes,
23:48I am in a group
23:49of widows.
23:50That seemed incredible to me,
23:51it's like
23:52you support each other.
23:53Yes,
23:54when it happened,
23:55I talked to one
23:56who is now my friend,
23:57I wrote her
23:58on WhatsApp
23:59immediately,
24:00I told her,
24:01nobody knows yet,
24:02but she lost
24:03her husband
24:04a year ago,
24:05almost two years ago,
24:06and she had talked
24:07about her process
24:08and she was
24:09the only person
24:10I thought
24:11that had lost
24:12her husband.
24:13And I wrote her
24:14immediately
24:15and she told me,
24:16look,
24:17I want help later,
24:18I will need help.
24:19I mean,
24:20I also
24:21need help.
24:22I know you are
24:23in a group,
24:24I know they
24:25do retreats,
24:26and then
24:27we enter
24:28that group of grief,
24:29it's a group
24:30of grief,
24:31there is
24:32widows,
24:33there are
24:34mixed mothers,
24:35and in that group
24:36of widows,
24:37there are widows
24:38and widows,
24:39but they are
24:40unfortunately,
24:41like,
24:42on average,
24:43I don't know,
24:44by percentage,
24:45men die more
24:46than women.
24:47And after that,
24:48we made a separate group,
24:49more informal,
24:50of the Dominicans,
24:51we got together,
24:52we got together,
24:53we gave each other support,
24:54we ventured out,
24:55we said the good things.
24:56Has it helped you?
24:57Yes.
24:58It has helped me
24:59to know that there are
25:00people like me,
25:01because when it happened to me,
25:02I repeated all the time,
25:03I,
25:04with 36 years old,
25:05two daughters,
25:06widows,
25:07I mean,
25:08all the time,
25:09how can it be me,
25:10me,
25:11me,
25:12me,
25:13me,
25:14and how does this happen to me?
25:15When I meet this group,
25:16I say,
25:17ah,
25:18so it's not just you,
25:19there are many,
25:20unfortunately,
25:21but on the one hand,
25:22how good that we can,
25:23like,
25:24one to the other,
25:25support each other.
25:26What things
25:27do you rejoice
25:28that have happened
25:29in life?
25:30What conversations
25:31did you have
25:32that have helped you
25:33a lot
25:34to continue,
25:35taking into account
25:36that only four months
25:37have passed?
25:38Four months,
25:39yes.
25:40It took me to convince her
25:41to sit with us.
25:42Yes,
25:43yes,
25:44eh,
25:45people ask me,
25:46a friend asked me,
25:47you know that two days ago
25:48I also gave a talk
25:49that I don't even know
25:50how,
25:51how this happened,
25:52eh,
25:53eh,
25:54for a group
25:55of entrepreneurs,
25:56of entrepreneurs,
25:57and,
25:58and she asks me,
25:59are you ready?
26:00And I say,
26:01no,
26:02I'm not ready
26:03to be here,
26:04but I do it,
26:05because I feel
26:06that,
26:07because he was my,
26:08my fan,
26:09my cheerleader,
26:10and he,
26:11I feel him telling me,
26:12hey,
26:13do it,
26:14do what you can.
26:15And,
26:16conversations,
26:17I,
26:18we lived such a beautiful
26:19life together,
26:20that a colleague
26:21asked me,
26:22did you have anything
26:23pending?
26:24And,
26:25really,
26:26from the bottom of my heart,
26:27I had nothing pending,
26:28the future
26:29that I wanted to live
26:30with him,
26:31but I love you,
26:32I admire you,
26:33words,
26:34writings,
26:35memories,
26:36messages,
26:37love,
26:38asking for forgiveness,
26:39talking,
26:40facing the situation,
26:41we did everything.
26:42You know that,
26:43when,
26:44at some point,
26:45interviewing an expert
26:46in grief,
26:47I asked her
26:48what was the difference
26:49that she saw
26:50between handling
26:51grief from pain,
26:52and grief that,
26:53even though
26:54with sadness
26:55and pain,
26:56with more peace,
26:57and she told me
26:58that the only difference
26:59was,
27:00if in life
27:01one gave that person
27:02everything
27:03that was
27:04necessary
27:05to be able
27:06to do
27:07anything,
27:08and you didn't
27:09lack anything
27:10to say or
27:11show
27:12the love
27:13you had for him,
27:14no matter
27:15if it was
27:16your husband,
27:17your brother,
27:18that's my mission
27:19now.
27:20And,
27:21really,
27:22you're telling me
27:23and I think
27:24that's why
27:25we were able
27:26to have this
27:27conversation
27:28that seemed
27:29impossible,
27:30because there are
27:31many people
27:32like you
27:33in this moment,
27:34but in the past
27:35of Ale
27:36with love.
27:37Exactly,
27:38before,
27:39Ale with love
27:40was focused
27:41on women
27:42and on supporting
27:43them in their
27:44business.
27:45In their business,
27:46always working
27:47on the intimate
27:48part,
27:49always working
27:50on self-esteem,
27:51love,
27:52but very focused
27:53on generating
27:54more income
27:55in business,
27:56empowering you
27:57in that part,
27:58and Ale
27:59was focused
28:00on helping
28:01the people
28:02that were in pain,
28:03no sabía lo que era el dólar. Y yo con mis colegas yo le decía, yo no sé cómo tú
28:07tratas ansiedad, depresión, ay a mí no me gusta nada de eso, me gusta bonito, me gusta
28:13que la mujer es así, que chulo. Pero claro, porque si yo no tenía heridas, yo no podía
28:19conectar con las heridas de los demás. Y ahora, cómo yo, cómo yo, luego de haber
28:25vivido eso y estar viviendo esto, no voy a ayudar a otros a sanar. Ese es mi propósito.
28:31Y eso que tú acabas de decir, que en vida podamos vivir una vida tan linda. Y mira,
28:38te lo digo de corazón, si yo me voy hoy, yo siento que yo le di lo que yo tenía que
28:42darle a todo el mundo. A mis hijas, no, pero Dios es el único que sabe. Pero eso, o sea,
28:47y sí le di hasta donde yo pude.
28:49Correcto. ¿Qué herramientas de autocuidado usaste, Ale, para sobrevivir los peores momentos?
28:59Aparte de la fe, ¿cómo se cuidó Ale?
29:01No, porque yo no tenía fe en esos días, de verdad.
29:04¿Quién te sostuvo esos días?
29:06Mi familia, mis amigos, mis suegros, o sea, mi cuñada, mi cuñado, o sea, la familia
29:12ha sido base esencial de que me sostuvieron mis padres, mis hermanas, todo el mundo preguntándome,
29:22dándome comida, agua. Yo sí, la verdad, que nunca, o sea, yo siempre me levanté,
29:30siempre comí, siempre me bañé, siempre dormí. Eso sucedió en mi vida. Y tenía también
29:34una bebé, y yo sentía que mis hijas, yo tenía que estar para mis hijas. Y escribir,
29:39a mí me ha servido mucho escribir. Ya yo escribía, y yo creía que yo iba a dejar
29:43de escribir, que yo iba a dejar de ser Ale con amor, que todo eso iba a quedar atrás.
29:47Y la verdad que desde el segundo o tercer día que sucedió, yo sentía que yo tenía
29:52que hablar de él, y contar, y contar, y hablar. Y las personas comenzaron a conectar, a conectar,
29:59a decirme como gracias por poner en letras y en tu voz lo que yo siento que no puedo
30:05decirlo. Y yo no lo hice con ese, yo lo hice por mí. Me escribían gracias, tú no te imaginas.
30:10O sea, como que con la muerte de Edu, tú me, o sea, yo sé que fuerte me dicen, pero
30:16tú me estás dando vida a mí. Tú me estás dando vida a mí, a mi esposo, a mi familia.
30:21Que poderoso Ale. Y bueno, papá Dios, pues, por lo menos, verdad, dentro del dolor, eso,
30:26yo creo que buscarle propósito no es a la muerte de la persona. A la vida. Es a lo que
30:32me queda, qué hago con este amor que tengo. Tú me dijiste que la relación de ustedes
30:36era tan nutritiva y tan real, que ustedes incluso hablaron de cosas incómodas, que
30:42tú nunca imaginaste que te servirían tanto ante su ausencia repentina. ¿Me cuentas
30:46un poquito? Bueno, como tres meses antes, yo no sé de dónde, estábamos hablando de
30:51dinero, de números, de ya viene la bebé. Él siempre fue muy como de escribir todo,
30:58de hacer su calendario, su presupuesto, no, el mejor. Y bueno, Ale, mira, vamos a estar
31:04necesitando tanto, vamos a ver por dónde que lo vamos a hacer. Y yo de repente me sale
31:08y yo le digo, ¿y si tú te mueres que yo hago? Ay, Ale. Pero él se quedó igualito,
31:13porque él era muy lógico. Como que bueno, mira Ale, del trabajo tal cosa te pasaría,
31:19del seguro tal cosa pasaría. Eso te da para tanto tiempo. Y en ese tiempo tú puedes hacer
31:25esto, esto, esto. Y yo me quedé como, ah. Y yo te lo juro que en ese momento, claro,
31:31yo dije, es una pregunta, pero por favor, ese hombre se me va cuando tenga ochenta y
31:35pico de año, noventa con Dios delante. Pero yo sentí como una paz en mi corazón, como
31:39que, ah, bueno, estoy cuidada. Wow. Ale, esas son las conversaciones incómodas. Que hay
31:44que tener. Que no queremos tener, pero hay que tener. Ustedes las tuvieron desde el alma,
31:49sin intención. Sin intención. Pero tú misma me contabas, fuera del aire el otro día,
31:54cómo eso te ayudó a saber qué hacer con la parte económica, porque tú tienes un
31:58hogar y dos niñas. Cien por ciento. Y también le digo a la gente, y ya se lo digo a las
32:02mujeres y a los hombres, porque no son solo los hombres que tienen que tener un seguro
32:05de vida. Por ejemplo, todos tenemos que tener un seguro de vida. Yo antes veía como un
32:08relajo eso de que vienen y te dicen, que quiere comprar tu tierra, el ataúd. Yo dije, ay,
32:14por Dios. ¿Tú sabes qué pasa? Que en un momento así, yo le doy gracias a Dios que
32:18conté con la ayuda. Su empresa ha sido buenísima con todo este proceso también. Y pudimos
32:25estar sostenidos. Pero si no, en vez de yo estar viviendo mi dolor, yo hubiera tenido
32:30que estar pendiente de gastos, de dinero, de aquello. Entonces sí creo que es importante
32:35que tengamos esas conversaciones. No solo, como tú dices, en la pareja. En todos, padres,
32:40hermanos, todos.
32:41Totalmente. Y estar inclusivo un poco con la vida en orden a nivel financiero.
32:45Muy importante.
32:46Para que no se doble la tragedia de lo pierdo a él o la pierdo a ella, y lo pierdo todo
32:50con eso.
32:51Y los secretos. Porque hay mucha gente que también tienen secretos.
32:54Sí.
32:55Mejor dígaselo a alguien, sus cositas. Si no quieres decírselo a su pareja, de un hermano
33:00o alguien que sepa todo, todo de ti.
33:03¿Cuál tú entiendes que ha sido la gran revelación que Dios te ha dado a través o
33:07te está dando a través de este duelo?
33:12Que la vida es un instante. Y que tenemos que vivirla lo mejor que podamos. Y darnos
33:18amor y servicio. De eso trata. Amor y servicio, amor y servicio, amor y servicio.
33:22Ella, yo le pregunté ahorita de empezar el programa. Compártelo con nosotros. Los lunares
33:28verdes.
33:29Bueno, esta blusa estaba esperándome en el clóset de la habitación de mami. Yo la
33:35llevé luego del fallecimiento de Edu. Yo me la llevé, bueno, la traje a la capital.
33:41Y no sentía que podía usarla porque tiene mucho significado. Porque la usé en nuestra
33:49última cita. Más moderna, con una faldita corta. Yo me sentía muy bella. Y tiene tanto
34:00significado que la blusa ni siquiera yo la llevé a lavar. Y justo hoy, antes de venir,
34:05tenía una manchita por aquí. Y parece que fue de una salsa o algo que comimos. Y mientras
34:10yo la quitaba, yo me rajé. Quiero que tú sepas que yo me rajé a dar gritos. Y yo como
34:14que me la quise poner por el significado que tiene. Que para mí estar aquí, como
34:20te dije ahorita, es honrar nuestro amor. Que permanece para siempre.
34:25Tu propósito hoy en día. Claro, lo tienes, claro. Hale con amor.
34:33Servir, servir. Ayudar a sanar. Y seguir el propósito. Realmente ahora yo, es el propósito
34:41que Dios tiene para mí. Ya nada soy yo sola. Como que eso siga cambiado. No es lo que yo
34:47quiero. Lo que yo sueño. Mis metas. ¿Cuál tú sientes que tú le vas a decir a tu
34:52hija mañana, al día que esté más grandecita, o ella se va a dar cuenta cuál fue el legado
34:57que le dejó su papá? Porque oye, murió con 37 años apenas. Bebé. Con una carrera
35:02exitosa pero que tenía toda una vida por delante. Una vida por delante.
35:06Su papá dejó ese legado para mí. El de amor y servicio. Y el darte al 100%. A los
35:12demás, pero desde el amor. No desde el sacrificio. Porque era un hombre feliz. Fue un hombre
35:18feliz, alegre. ¿Qué fue lo más difícil del duelo, del
35:21proceso del duelo? ¿Qué fue lo más terrible? ¿Qué es lo más difícil?
35:25Es despedirte todos los días de esa persona. Porque yo no me despedí de él el día que
35:33lo enterramos. Yo no me despedí de él. O sea, sí lo hice. Pero lo que digo es que
35:37no se queda ahí el duelo. Es levantarme cada mañana y decirle a mi cerebro, es verdad,
35:42él no está. Eso duele mucho. A una persona que nos esté mirando ahora mismo
35:48y que esté perdiendo o acaba de perder a alguien y está en ese momento de angustia
35:53total donde no ve la luz, ¿qué tú le dirías para confortarle?
36:00En ese momento de oscuridad, dejarse vivir, dejarse transitar su dolor. Y sobre todo,
36:07más que a esa persona, a los que están a su alrededor. Permitirse, sentirse incómodos
36:12en el dolor de esa persona. Permitirle a esa persona llorar, sufrir. Todo lo que necesite
36:21llorar. No de que ya, estate tranquila, no llores, para que descanse en paz. Esas son
36:26cosas que nosotros tenemos que reeducarnos con respecto a cómo sostenemos en el duelo.
36:32Y por eso te digo, que a mí me sostuvo, que nadie nunca me dijo que dejara de llorar o
36:36que espérate para que él descanse en paz. Eso necesitamos cuando perdemos a alguien.
36:41Necesitamos que nos dejen llorar. Porque a ti tal vez te incomoda mi dolor, pero tú
36:45te vas para tu casa y tú tienes a tu pareja y a tus hijos y yo no. Entonces, permitirse
36:51sentir incómodo en el dolor ajeno y acompañar, estar, abrazar. No hay que decir nada. Abrazar.
36:57Y a esa persona sentir su dolor y aunque no lo crea, aunque no lo crea, es verdad que
37:06seguimos. Ale, ¿cómo logramos reconciliar los sentimientos de tristeza con el sentimiento
37:13de, Edu quiere que yo siga adelante. Yo tengo que seguir adelante.
37:18¿Sabes qué pasa? Que pueden coexistir. La tristeza y vamos a decir que ciertos rayos
37:28de alegría pueden coexistir. Y eso es lo que yo he aprendido. Yo estoy aquí. Él me
37:34duele en mi corazón. Me arde mi alma. Yo lo pienso y yo siento que hay un vacío dentro
37:39de mí. Pero yo estoy aquí. Y me reconozco y me aplaudo. Y sobre todo, como tú decías,
37:47aplaudo a papá Dios que es el que me trae aquí. Entonces, una cosa no quita la otra
37:52y eso es lo que yo quiero que quien me esté oyendo no crea que eso me pasó. Cuando yo
37:57viví mi, lo estoy viviendo mi duelo, pero cuando pasa lo de Edu muy cercano, había
38:03una chica que yo comencé a seguir que había perdido su esposo tres meses antes que yo.
38:08Y yo la veía hablando en un podcast. Yo la veía ministrando, hablando de Dios. Y yo decía,
38:16¿cómo se puede? Eso no es verdad. Eso no puede ser cierto. ¿Cómo tú puedes amar a Dios? ¿Cómo
38:21tú puedes hablar de Dios? ¿Cómo tú puedes seguir, entre comillas, tu propósito con ese dolor? Y
38:28mira, M aquí, como dicen. ¿Por qué? Porque eso no quita el dolor. Y si le damos apertura a que
38:35yo puedo reírme, yo puedo bailar, yo puedo disfrutar comer, aún con esa herida en mi
38:41corazón. Es cuando comienzas ese proceso de entender que para mí fue que no hay una meta.
38:47No es como que, ay, Ale, yo voy a estar. Eso me frustró. Cuando yo pensaba en tres meses,
38:52ay, papá Dios, quítame este dolor, Dios mío. En tres meses yo quiero estar diferente. En un año
38:57yo voy a ser. No. Ya yo entendí que mi vida cambió para siempre. Que yo siempre voy a extrañar a Edu.
39:05Que siempre lo voy a amar. Pero que yo, y se lo prometí a él en el funeral, yo voy a volver a
39:12ser feliz. Y mis hijas, nuestras hijas también. ¿Qué has descubierto de ti misma, Ale, en este
39:17proceso de superar el duelo? Que soy una mujer con mucha fe y muy resiliente. No lo sabía. Yo
39:28sabía que yo creía en Dios. Y yo siempre, somos una familia con mucha fe. Mis padres, mis hermanas.
39:33Pero ahora, yo digo, wow. Ahora sí. Y yo misma me asombro de mí. Pero vuelvo y digo, de lo que Dios
39:41está haciendo conmigo. De cómo Dios está transformando mi vida. Y de cómo la misión de
39:51Dios siempre en mi vida fue, que yo siga ayudando a más personas. Y me asombra eso. Ay, Ale, gracias,
39:57mi amor, por esta conversación tan honesta, tan difícil para ti. Pero que ella entregó esta
40:06conversación a papá Dios antes de que empezáramos. Y yo siento que él logró. Lo hizo. En los dos
40:12corazones. Para que sea una conversación que honre el legado de la hermosa vida que tuvo Ed,
40:18de su legado de amor y de servicio. Y para que a todas esas mujeres o personas que están viviendo
40:24un duelo, sepan que no es fácil, pero que hay que vivir ese proceso. Y que hay luz en medio de la
40:30oscuridad. Y que esa luz nos la da Dios. Amén. Amén. Gracias, Ale. Alexandra Oreña, aquí,
40:38una mujer al borde. Este programa, a partir de este momento, este episodio que acabamos de
40:43estrenar va a estar contigo en nuestras plataformas digitales, en Mujeres al Borde RD en YouTube,
40:48en Mujeres al Borde Podcast, para que lo repases y los escuches cuando te hagan falta. Y lo puedas
40:54compartir y comentarnos. Gracias por la sintonía. Gracias, Ale. Me voy como que con una mezcla de
41:02emociones, pero me voy llena. Yo también. Gracias, papá Dios.