Comedy (1936) 69 minutes ~ Black & White
Alexander Botts is a self-described natural born salesman and master mechanic, who is trying to make a big sale of Earthworm tractors to grouchy lumberman Johnson. Since Botts doesn't really know anything about tractors, and since the old-fashioned Johnson is opposed to tractors of any kind, it isn't going to be an easy sell. But Botts perseveres, encouraged by Johnson's daughter.
Director: Ray Enright
Writers: Richard Macaulay (screen play), Joe Traub (screen play), Hugh Cummings (screenplay), William Hazlett Upson (from the stories by), Peter Milne (contributor to treatment) and Paul Girard Smith (contributor to screenplay)
Stars: Joe E. Brown, June Travis and Guy Kibbee
Alexander Botts is a self-described natural born salesman and master mechanic, who is trying to make a big sale of Earthworm tractors to grouchy lumberman Johnson. Since Botts doesn't really know anything about tractors, and since the old-fashioned Johnson is opposed to tractors of any kind, it isn't going to be an easy sell. But Botts perseveres, encouraged by Johnson's daughter.
Director: Ray Enright
Writers: Richard Macaulay (screen play), Joe Traub (screen play), Hugh Cummings (screenplay), William Hazlett Upson (from the stories by), Peter Milne (contributor to treatment) and Paul Girard Smith (contributor to screenplay)
Stars: Joe E. Brown, June Travis and Guy Kibbee
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
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00:03:26Let me see. 6 times 6 is 36.
00:03:30And 4.
00:03:31FOB plus the insurance. 6.
00:03:35Almost forgot the zoning rates.
00:03:37Plus 17.
00:03:40And 6.
00:03:42Plus 4. 6 and 8.
00:03:45Times 7.
00:03:47There you are. There it is.
00:03:49What is it?
00:03:50$3.05.
00:03:52$3.05?
00:03:54Alexander, I thought you were selling something worthwhile.
00:03:58What are you doing, selling birdseed?
00:04:01Birdseed, nothing.
00:04:04Now, folks, you want to know what this is.
00:04:07The idea of this little novelty is to bring you health.
00:04:09It opens the pores, clears the eyes,
00:04:11takes your mind off business worries,
00:04:13and last but not least,
00:04:14brings laughter back into the life of the working man.
00:04:17All you do, folks, is just to blow through the little pipe
00:04:20and attach the cork onto the hook.
00:04:22It's simple. Watch.
00:04:31There you are, folks.
00:04:32But don't take my word for it.
00:04:34Here, try it yourself.
00:04:35So this is what you sell.
00:04:37But, Butch, you're nothing but a peddler.
00:04:39Well, is that so?
00:04:40Well, let me tell you something.
00:04:41It takes real salesmanship to sell a thing like that.
00:04:44I'll tell you right now, Butch,
00:04:45I don't want my daughter to have anything to do with a peddler.
00:04:48And I'll appreciate it if you don't bother Sally anymore
00:04:50until you become a more respectable citizen.
00:04:52Come on, Emmett.
00:04:53Let's you and I go get a piece of Ma's pie.
00:04:55Goodbye, Mr. Botts.
00:04:57Aho!
00:05:05Sally.
00:05:07You don't think I'm a peddler, do you?
00:05:09Of course not, Alexander.
00:05:10I mean, selling little gadgets like that,
00:05:13well, well, it's not dignified.
00:05:16Oh.
00:05:17I see.
00:05:19Oh, gosh, I just happened to think
00:05:20I've got an appointment out at the hotel.
00:05:23I'm sorry, Alexander,
00:05:24but you really ought to get out and do something important.
00:05:27If you're going to be a salesman,
00:05:28well, sell something big.
00:05:30Something worthwhile.
00:05:31Say, you don't have to feel sorry for me.
00:05:33I won't always be selling little gadgets.
00:05:35A natural-born salesman like me can sell anything.
00:05:43Steamship.
00:05:45That's it.
00:05:46That's what I'll sell.
00:05:47Say, that ought to be big enough for anyone.
00:05:50You can't sell steamships.
00:05:51Be practical.
00:05:53No?
00:05:57Bridges.
00:05:58What about bridges?
00:05:59Bridges?
00:06:00Yeah, sure.
00:06:01Some people buy bridges.
00:06:02Oh, no.
00:06:03No?
00:06:05Well, then...
00:06:08Tractors.
00:06:09Earthworm tractors.
00:06:11That's it.
00:06:12That's big.
00:06:13That's important.
00:06:14That's worthwhile.
00:06:15Well, that's right.
00:06:16Now you're talking.
00:06:17Can I have this?
00:06:18Oh, sure.
00:06:19Look, Sally, I've got to be running along,
00:06:21but I'll write to you.
00:06:22The next time you hear from me,
00:06:23I'll be selling earthworm tractors.
00:06:25I'm going to make a big success of this.
00:06:27And when I do, I'm going to come back for you.
00:06:29Will you be waiting for me?
00:06:30Why, certainly, Alexander.
00:06:31Yeah?
00:06:32Goodbye, Sally.
00:06:45Alexander Botts listening.
00:06:51If you want to laugh, H.J.,
00:06:53read that.
00:06:56Earthworm Tractor Company,
00:06:57Earthworm City, Illinois.
00:06:58Gentlemen, I am a natural-born salesman,
00:07:00have a very quick mind,
00:07:01am honest and reliable.
00:07:02In fact, I am a salesman.
00:07:04I'm a salesman.
00:07:05I'm a salesman.
00:07:06I'm a salesman.
00:07:07I'm a salesman.
00:07:08I'm a salesman.
00:07:09I'm a salesman.
00:07:10I'm a salesman.
00:07:11I'm a salesman.
00:07:12I'm a salesman.
00:07:13I'm a salesman.
00:07:14In fact, I have a positive genius for ferreting out sales.
00:07:17I became acquainted with your earthworms
00:07:19as a member of the motorized field artillery in the Army.
00:07:22I am an expert on tractors,
00:07:24as well as a super salesman.
00:07:25And I might add
00:07:26that I am also a master mechanic.
00:07:28When do I start to work?
00:07:29Very truly yours, Alexander Botts.
00:07:32Have you ever heard of this Alexander Botts, Henderson?
00:07:34No, sir, never.
00:07:35And I think I know every tractor salesman of the country.
00:07:37This man's either a phony or a nut.
00:07:39Maybe you're right, but I like his letter.
00:07:41It shows the kind of nerve it takes to make sales.
00:07:43Let's give him a chance and see what he can do.
00:07:45Oh, now, please, Mr. Russell, not as a salesman.
00:07:47Now, let's see.
00:07:48Healy has been asking me for a mechanic,
00:07:50and Botts says he's a master mechanic, doesn't he?
00:07:52According to his letter, he's a master of everything.
00:07:54Personally, I like a man who knows his own abilities
00:07:56and isn't afraid to tell them.
00:07:58I'm going to give him a trial.
00:07:59Okay, the boss.
00:08:00Miss Hunt, take a letter, Alexander Botts.
00:08:03I'm going to have him meet Healy
00:08:05at the Robert E. Lee Hotel in Cypress City, Mississippi.
00:08:13Alexander Botts, come in.
00:08:16How do you do, sir?
00:08:17Are you Alexander Botts?
00:08:18That's me, brother.
00:08:19Well, I'm George Healy of the Earthworm Tractor Company.
00:08:21Well, Mr. Healy, how do you do, sir?
00:08:23Come right in and sit down.
00:08:26I was just writing another letter to the home office.
00:08:28I understand, Mr. Healy, that you need a lot of help down here.
00:08:31Oh, you do, do you?
00:08:32Oh, yes, I do.
00:08:33Oh, yes, I do.
00:08:34Oh, yes, I do.
00:08:35Oh, yes, I do.
00:08:36Oh, yes, I do.
00:08:37Oh, yes, I do.
00:08:38Oh, yes, I do.
00:08:39Oh, yes, I do.
00:08:40Oh, yes, I do.
00:08:41Oh, yes, I do.
00:08:42Oh, yes, I do.
00:08:43Oh, yes, I do.
00:08:44Oh, yes, I do.
00:08:45Oh, yes, I do.
00:08:46Oh, yes, I do.
00:08:47Oh, yes, I do.
00:08:48Oh, yes, I do.
00:08:49Oh, yes, I do.
00:08:50Oh, yes, I do.
00:08:51Oh, yes, I do.
00:08:52Oh, yes, I do.
00:08:53Oh, yes, I do.
00:08:54Oh, yes, I do.
00:08:55And with me on the job, Mr. Healy, your troubles are over.
00:08:56Now wait a minute, I think there's a slight misunderstanding.
00:08:57I've been getting along very, very well.
00:08:58I merely sent to the home office for a man to demonstrate a tractor for me.
00:08:59Well, I can do that and more.
00:09:00You're new in the tractor line, aren't you?
00:09:01sense? No. But in any sense, selling is my meat. Mr. Healy, you see in me a natural
00:09:06born salesman. That's very interesting, Mr. Butts, but I understood I was getting
00:09:10a mechanic. That's right, you are. You're not only getting a mechanic, Mr. Healy,
00:09:14you're getting a master mechanic. And think how much better it'll be to get a
00:09:18master mechanic who also is a super salesman. Now, where are those tractors?
00:09:22Let's get right to work on this. The tractor is down at the freight depot, but
00:09:25let's drop that for a moment. All I want to know is, can you operate an earthworm
00:09:28tractor? Can I operate an earthworm tractor? That's what I said. Well,
00:09:34generally speaking, yes and no. It says here that you were in the motorized
00:09:39field artillery, which used earthworms exclusively, is that right? Yes, sir,
00:09:43that's right, that's right. Mr. Butts, I don't like to doubt your veracity, but I
00:09:48don't believe you've ever seen the army. Oh, oh you don't, huh? Well, just maintain
00:09:55your predicament. Let's take a look at that. I was company cook, battery 127th
00:10:07field artillery. A cook? Have you ever handled any kind of machinery? I
00:10:13certainly have. For two years I sold the Jiffy razor blade sharpener. Well, this
00:10:18is grand, fine, splendid. Here I've got a tractor down at the depot, only waiting for a
00:10:22man to drive it for me. I've got a deal all set with Jackson, the biggest lumber
00:10:25dealer in town, and then I draw a blank like you. Calling me names won't do you
00:10:29any good, Mr. Healy. Just think how lucky you are to have me here to work shoulder
00:10:33to shoulder with you. With me on the job, this fella Johnson is practically sold.
00:10:37The man's name isn't Johnson, it's Jackson. Well, Johnson or Jackson, they're
00:10:41all the same to me. I sell anybody. Excuse me, just want to tell him at the home
00:10:47office that you've reported. What's in that bottle? Oh, shoe polish. Shoe polish in a
00:11:06Scotch bottle? Oh, you poisoned me, you lunatic. You killed me and killed my sale. Say, I'll put
00:11:13your sale through better than you can have done it yourself. You stay away from
00:11:17my prospect. Just relax, Mr. Healy. I'll go right down there now, get the
00:11:22tractor, find Johnson, and sell him quicker than you can say Jack Robinson.
00:11:25It isn't Johnson, it's Jackson. Don't you dare go near my prospect. Mr. Healy, I'm an
00:11:30independent sailman. I take orders from no one. You come back here. Come back.
00:11:36Cabinster? No, thanks. Just breaking in a new pair of shoes.
00:11:42Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Whoa! Cease firing. Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Oh, that's all right. What's the matter?
00:12:08Stuck in the mud? What do you think? Well, I think that just the right young man
00:12:12came along to help you out. Oh, I don't think anything short of a Derek is going
00:12:16to get me out of here. You got a tow rope? No, I'm afraid I haven't. No tow rope.
00:12:24Well, stay right where you are. I'll be right back.
00:12:38I'll be right back.
00:13:08Busy? No. Change your mind? Yeah, I forgot my rubbers. Where to? Oh, drive me to the Elks.
00:13:32Come on, can't we go a little faster? I guess I should have put on my chains, but I'll make out all right.
00:13:39I say, faster! Yeah!
00:13:44Come on, faster!
00:13:46Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! You'll pay for that glass or you'll see what our jail looks like.
00:14:14Listen, smart guy, you'll pay for my rent or I'll lay one on your chin.
00:14:18Quiet, please, quiet. Friends, there's nothing to get excited about. After all, if any damage has been done, it'll be paid for gladly.
00:14:26Money talks louder than words. Yeah. Who are you? My name is Botts. Alexander Botts.
00:14:31My card, please. I represent the Earthworm Tractor Company, Earthworm City, Illinois.
00:14:35My company will take care of everything. Fully take care of everything.
00:14:39How do we know that? Well, Alexander Botts' word is his bond, sir. Do you doubt my veracity?
00:14:49Get going.
00:14:55Where can I take you? I'm calling on a man named Johnson who owns a lumber yard down near the railroad station.
00:15:01I'm going to sell him a tractor. Johnson? He's not interested in a tractor.
00:15:05How do you know? Because I know him. He happens to be my father.
00:15:10Your father? Well, that's great. This is a break.
00:15:15I'm afraid you're wasting your time, Mr. Botts. That won't be time wasted, Miss Johnson.
00:15:19The harder they come, the easier I crack them. That's salesmanship.
00:15:26Wait a minute. I'll see if he's busy.
00:15:35Can't go in now. The doctor's there. Doctor? Is your father sick?
00:15:39Get out of here! I'm a sick man!
00:15:43How is he today, Doctor? He hasn't changed a bit.
00:15:49Well, I guess we can go in now.
00:15:53Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you. You'll have to talk rather loud. Father's a little hard of hearing.
00:15:59Dad, I want you to meet... Young lady, why are you late for work?
00:16:03It's that car of mine. It got stuck in the mud again.
00:16:06You shouldn't allow for accidents like that. Who's this?
00:16:09Mr. Johnson, I am Alexander Botts of the Earthworm Tractor Company, Earthworm City, Illinois.
00:16:13My company manufactures... What are you shouting at me for?
00:16:17Well, I... Mr. Johnson, I am Alexander Botts of the Earthworm Tractor Company,
00:16:21Earthworm City, Illinois. My company manufactures...
00:16:23What are you shouting at me for?
00:16:25I am Alexander Botts of the Earthworm Tractor Company, Earthworm City, Illinois.
00:16:28My company manufactures... Speak up! Speak up!
00:16:32What'll I do now? Come up closer and raise your voice just a little.
00:16:37Mr. Botts, I am Alexander Johnson of the... Sir, I mean...
00:16:40I mean, Mr. Johnson, I am Alexander Botts of the Earthworm Tractor Company,
00:16:44Earthworm City, Illinois. I answered your... You got... You came...
00:16:48I came in answer to your letter. Letter? What letter?
00:16:53I haven't written a letter in 15 years. Well, I...
00:16:56Well, Mr. Johnson, the earthworm is the finest tractor on the market today.
00:17:00Earthworm tractor? Never heard of it. Stop watching that clock.
00:17:05I was just going to remind you to take your pink pills.
00:17:08Oh. Mr. Johnson, as I was saying, the earthworm is...
00:17:12Young man, I have no use for any newfangled inventions.
00:17:16They'll save your breath. Well, but, Mr. Johnson,
00:17:20there is no newfangled invention. Why, way back as far as the war.
00:17:24War? What war?
00:17:27What?
00:17:30Well, Mr. Johnson, the earthworm tractor has the most powerful motor in the world.
00:17:34Young man, if you were selling mules, I'd listen to you. But motors?
00:17:38Two months ago, someone finally talked me into buying a truck.
00:17:42And do you know where it is now? Do you? No, you don't.
00:17:46It's buried up to its axles in mud down in Chippewa Swamp.
00:17:49Yes? Well, Mr. Johnson, may I make a little suggestion? No. What is it?
00:17:53Well, I have an earthworm tractor down at the freight station.
00:17:55It'll get your truck out of that swamp just like that.
00:17:57You come along with me and I'll show you.
00:17:59And if I don't get that truck out of that swamp, you can chase me out of town.
00:18:03No. I haven't got time to run you out of town.
00:18:06Why don't you let him try it? That truck isn't doing any good stuck in the swamp.
00:18:10Why should I waste my time?
00:18:12There's no machine ever built that could stay on top of Chippewa Swamp.
00:18:16Mr. Johnson, the earthworm tractor can stay on top of a cup of coffee.
00:18:19And not a strong cup of coffee at that.
00:18:21Now, if you want your truck back in the service, I'm the young man that can help you.
00:18:25Oh, go on, Dad. It won't cost you anything and you might get the truck back.
00:18:29Well, it's only a waste of time.
00:18:31But I'll go. You stay here.
00:18:33Somebody's got to watch that clock watcher.
00:18:35Come on. Let's see that machine of yours, young man.
00:18:39Good luck. Thank you.
00:18:41Hey, don't look now, but your clock has stopped.
00:18:51There she is, Mr. Johnson.
00:18:53Whoa.
00:18:56There we are.
00:19:01There. Isn't she a beauty?
00:19:04I don't see anything beautiful about it.
00:19:06Well, hop in and we'll take a little spin.
00:19:08Let me run the clock.
00:19:10Put me right in that lopsided merry-go-round?
00:19:12No, sir.
00:19:13Why, she's just as safe as your own front porch.
00:19:16Speak up. Speak up.
00:19:18I say, she's just as safe as on your own front porch.
00:19:21Well, let's go over there and talk it over.
00:19:23No, no, no, no, Mr. Johnson. Up you go.
00:19:25Upsy-daisy. Up you go, sir. There you are.
00:19:28No trouble at all.
00:19:29I know I'm not going to like this.
00:19:31Oh, you'll love it, Mr. Johnson. Go right over there and sit down.
00:19:35Well, now, here we are.
00:19:37Now, let's see.
00:19:39That is the choke, I think.
00:19:42This is the ignition, I believe.
00:19:45And there is the clutch, I imagine.
00:19:49You think. You believe. You imagine.
00:19:51Don't you know?
00:19:53Well, yes and no.
00:19:55Now, oh, yes.
00:19:57There is the starter.
00:19:59Listen to that motor purr.
00:20:01Purr?
00:20:03Sounds like the battle of Bull Run to me.
00:20:05Now, come on, you folks. Hang on to the way there.
00:21:59Get me out of here. Do you want to drown me?
00:22:03Just relax, Mr. Johnson. Just relax.
00:22:06We'll have your truck out of here in just a minute.
00:22:19Just as simple as ABCs.
00:22:22Just as simple as ABCs.
00:22:28Now.
00:22:39Are you going to start guessing again?
00:22:52Ha, ha. You pulled the radiator off.
00:22:55Well, I just go to show you, Mr. Johnson,
00:22:58the earthworm don't know its own strength.
00:23:18You ruined my truck.
00:23:21You ruined my truck. Let me out of here.
00:23:23Oh, no, no, no. Cut, cut, Mr. Johnson.
00:23:25Cut, cut.
00:23:34Stop it. This thing's going.
00:23:36Stop it. Help me. Somebody help me.
00:23:38Quick.
00:23:42Hey, Mr. Johnson.
00:23:44Just take it easy.
00:23:51How do you work this thing?
00:24:05Hey, Johnson.
00:24:15Help.
00:24:21Hey, Johnson.
00:24:23Hey.
00:24:25Just take it easy. Take it easy.
00:24:36Just take it easy, Johnson.
00:24:51Hey, mister, can you tell me where the other end of this swamp is?
00:24:54That tractor of yours will come out of the south road if it don't sink.
00:24:57Don't worry. The earthworm never sinks.
00:24:59Hop in and I'll drive you over there.
00:25:21There we are, safe and sound.
00:25:23Come on. Can I help you?
00:25:27Come, come, come.
00:25:29There you are.
00:25:31Now, what did I tell you?
00:25:33Just as safe as on your own front porch.
00:25:37Oh, oh.
00:25:39Oh.
00:25:41Oh.
00:25:43Oh.
00:25:45Oh.
00:25:47Oh.
00:25:50H. J.
00:25:52H. J.
00:25:54Well, you said that Alexander Botz would boost business all right.
00:25:57And he has.
00:25:59He's been a one-man recovery in Ziper City.
00:26:01What did I tell you?
00:26:03You told me all right.
00:26:05He's boosted business for the taxi company.
00:26:07For the hardware company.
00:26:09For the city power and light company.
00:26:11For the Johnson Lumber Company.
00:26:13Why, he's even built them a new freight depot.
00:26:15Look at the money he's poured into that town.
00:26:17And we're paying the bill.
00:26:18the bill. Why, this is outrageous! What can we do about it? We can't do anything about
00:26:22the bill, but there's one thing I can do. I can fire Butts and Healy, too.
00:26:27Wire them to that effect at once. With pleasure.
00:26:41Alexander Butts approaching.
00:26:42Ah, Mr. Healy, well, how do you do, sir? Come right in.
00:26:51You half-witted foreflush, are you? Why, what's the matter?
00:26:54This is what's the matter. You got me fired. Well, that's nothing. I got fired also.
00:26:59But don't you worry, Mr. Healy. Everything is going to be all right.
00:27:02I was just writing another letter to the home office, explaining everything.
00:27:05Why, you idiot, you don't think I'm worried about the job, do you? I wasn't going to stay
00:27:09with Earthworm anyway. I've got a better proposition with the Elephant Tractor Company.
00:27:13Yeah? How about taking me with you as your mechanic?
00:27:16You? If I ever catch you in the same town with me again, I...
00:27:20Excuse me, Mr. Healy. Seems to be my busy day.
00:27:25How do you do, sir? Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute. I can explain everything.
00:27:28Explain everything about what? About your car, Mr. Jackson.
00:27:32Jackson? Oh, you see, my company will pay for everything. My card.
00:27:37Oh, forget it. I'm insured. I came here to congratulate you.
00:27:41Congratulate me for what? That's the finest demonstration I ever saw.
00:27:45Yes, I guess it was. But just the same, I'm fired.
00:27:48Fired? Well, I just wired an order in for six tractors.
00:27:52Is that so? Well, whether you did or not, I'm still fired, Mr. Johnson.
00:27:57Not Johnson. Jackson. Are you Tom Jackson of the Jackson Lumber Company?
00:28:02That's me. I don't know why you went to see Johnson first. You can't sell him anything.
00:28:07You're telling me. Well, anyway, you've got commission coming on six tractors.
00:28:12There. What did I tell you, Mr. Healy? Just as I promised you. Everything turns out right.
00:28:16We've got commission coming on six tractors. Here's looking at you.
00:28:21Hey, Johnson. Mr. Johnson. Or, uh, Jackson.
00:28:26Oh, don't drink that. Why, boss, you don't begrudge a six-tractor
00:28:30customer a little drink, do you? No, but...
00:28:32Well, so long, and thanks again for the demonstration.
00:28:37That's the finest liquor I ever tasted.
00:28:46Wait, Mr. Healy, you're not gonna drink that.
00:28:50Excuse me, Mr. Healy.
00:28:54Just send the bill to Earthworm Tractor Company.
00:28:58Hello, Miss Johnson. Could you come down to the lobby for a moment?
00:29:01I'll be right down.
00:29:07You poisoned me again!
00:29:12You big sissy. You knew all the time that was shoe polish.
00:29:21Well, here I am. I thought I'd drop by for a few seconds and tell you how sorry I am the
00:29:25way things turned out. I should have warned you that Dad has a ferocious temper.
00:29:30Forget it. He didn't hurt me.
00:29:33Much. What really hurts is I lost my job.
00:29:38Oh, I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could do for you.
00:29:43That's all right. Well, now that you've lost your job,
00:29:46what are you going to do? I don't have to worry.
00:29:48A natural-born salesman like me can always find something to sell.
00:29:51The thing is, I... I hate to leave this town now.
00:29:55Why? Oh, I... I don't know.
00:29:58Well, this is the same as any other town, isn't it?
00:30:01Well, in a way, yes. And, uh, in a way, no.
00:30:06There's more no than yes, I guess.
00:30:11What's your first name? Mabel.
00:30:13Mabel. Gosh, there's something about the name of Mabel.
00:30:17Telegram for Mr. Botts. Telegram for Mr. Botts.
00:30:21Telegram for Mr. Botts. Oh, boy.
00:30:25Excuse me.
00:30:28How do you spell that? With a B.
00:30:31With a B. I guess that's for me.
00:30:35There you are. Gee, thanks.
00:30:37Don't give it a thought.
00:30:44I wonder who this can be from. Why don't you open it?
00:30:50That's a pretty good idea.
00:30:51Let's see what's in it.
00:30:58Listen to this.
00:31:00We have reconsidered our decision. Re your discharge.
00:31:02Stop. You are back on the payroll as a full-fledged salesman.
00:31:06Stop. Proceed to Smedleyville.
00:31:08Instructions to follow. Gilbert C. Henderson.
00:31:12Wow! Oh, gee, I'm glad.
00:31:14Well, I guess they know a natural-born salesman when they see one.
00:31:18Wait till I get to Smedleyville.
00:31:20Knock them dead.
00:31:26Say, I'll sell tractors to people in that town that don't even need them.
00:31:30Why go to that trouble when there's someone right here in this town who needs them?
00:31:33Oh, leave me to them. Is there someone that I overlooked?
00:31:35Say, I'll sell them before I catch the train. Who is it?
00:31:38My father.
00:31:39Oh, well, I don't think I'll have time on this trip,
00:31:42but someday I'll come back and sell him, too.
00:31:45I'm afraid it might be too late then.
00:31:47You know, someday some real live-wire salesman is going to come in
00:31:50and show Dad where he's losing money.
00:31:52Why not having tractors to work his timberlands?
00:31:54What do you mean, live-wire salesman?
00:31:57I mean someone who won't run away the first time he's turned down.
00:32:00Turned down? Oh, I was knocked down.
00:32:04Dad owns half the timberland around here.
00:32:06If he ever decides to buy tractors, he'll have to buy an awful lot of them.
00:32:10It'll be a big feather in the cap of the salesman who finally sells him.
00:32:14I could sell him. I wonder if I ought to take the time.
00:32:18No, you'd better go on to Smedleyville.
00:32:20It'll probably be too big a job for you.
00:32:23Too big? Say, no job is too big for Alexander Botts.
00:32:25And just to prove it to you, I'm going to stay right here and sell your father.
00:32:29Mabel Jackson.
00:32:30Not Jackson. Johnson.
00:32:33We are pleased that our earthworm RD8 has lived up entirely to your satisfaction.
00:32:37We trust that...
00:32:38H.J.
00:32:40H.J.
00:32:41What's the trouble now?
00:32:42The only trouble we've ever had around here.
00:32:44Botts, read that.
00:32:48Dear sir, the greatest tractor prospect in the country,
00:32:51Sam Johnson, is right here in Cypress City.
00:32:53I've decided not to go to Smedleyville.
00:32:55I think it best that I stay here and make the sale.
00:32:58We'll let you know how many I sell.
00:33:00Very truly yours, Alexander Botts.
00:33:02Sam Johnson, the one man that every tractor salesman in the country
00:33:05gave up trying to sell 10 years ago.
00:33:07I'll wire Botts to proceed to Smedleyville at once.
00:33:09Now, wait a minute, Henderson.
00:33:11This fellow Botts sold Jackson.
00:33:12Maybe he can sell Johnson.
00:33:13Give him a chance and see what he can do.
00:33:15I think it's a waste of time, but you're the boss, H.J.
00:33:18I don't think it's a waste of time.
00:33:19I'll bet you right now, at this moment, Botts is selling Johnson.
00:33:29Now, you get out of here.
00:33:41And don't come back.
00:34:05And stay out.
00:34:11Oh, I know if you'll only keep at it, you'll eventually sell him some tractors.
00:34:15Oh, what's the use?
00:34:16If I'm not alive to spend the commissions.
00:34:18Oh, you're not going to stop trying now, are you?
00:34:20Oh, I don't know.
00:34:21I... I got a wire from the factory this morning.
00:34:24I think I'd better get down to Smedleyville.
00:34:26I was afraid the job might be too big for you.
00:34:29The first few times he threw me out, I didn't mind.
00:34:31But I'm beginning to think that he don't want any tractors.
00:34:34I don't want any tractors.
00:34:36I don't want any tractors.
00:34:38I don't want any tractors.
00:34:41Of course, a master salesman would find some way to show Dad
00:34:45how necessary tractors are to his business.
00:34:47Say, listen. I'm a natural-born salesman.
00:34:50That's even better than a master salesman.
00:34:52If a master salesman can sell them, so can I.
00:34:55Say, I'm going right down there now and come out with an order for 72 tractors.
00:35:00Oh, no, Alexander. Not today.
00:35:02No? Why not today?
00:35:04Well, you see, we're moving. Our house is up on rollers
00:35:06and ready to be moved to the other side of town.
00:35:08Oh, is that so?
00:35:10What's the new address?
00:35:12352 Spruce Street.
00:35:14I can remember that.
00:35:16Dad's more upset than ever.
00:35:18I think the $500 it's costing is the real reason he feels so badly.
00:35:21$500?
00:35:23Say, excuse me.
00:35:26With an earthworm tractor.
00:35:28What?
00:35:30Oh, nothing.
00:35:32When are you moving the house?
00:35:34Tomorrow morning. Dad and I are going to stay at the hotel tonight.
00:35:41Close that door!
00:35:43You want me to catch my dad in the cold?
00:35:47Mabel!
00:35:49Yes, Dad?
00:35:51I've decided not to go to the hotel tonight.
00:35:53But we've arranged to have all the utilities cut off.
00:35:55We can't stay in the house without any light, gas, or water.
00:35:57I've arranged to have them put back on again.
00:35:59I'm a sick man. I just caught a cold from that door being open.
00:36:02I'm nearly dying.
00:36:04You wouldn't want a dying man to go to the hotel, would you?
00:36:06Of course not, Dad. I'll call them.
00:36:08But they won't be able to move the house tomorrow.
00:36:10That's all right. Let them move it the next day.
00:36:15Stop watching that clock!
00:36:23Mabel!
00:36:24Time for my pill!
00:36:28Here they are, Dad.
00:36:33How are you feeling now?
00:36:35What do you ask me that for? You know I feel terrible.
00:36:37I told you not to eat that steak tonight.
00:36:39At least not the whole two pounds.
00:36:41That had nothing to do with it. I would have felt terrible anyway.
00:37:05Anything else, Dad?
00:37:07No!
00:37:12Earthquake rocks Tibet.
00:37:14Mabel, where's Tibet?
00:37:17In Asia, Dad.
00:37:19That's right. I didn't think you knew.
00:37:26Mabel! It's here!
00:37:28It's here!
00:37:32Mabel! Don't you realize what's happened?
00:37:34It's an earthquake!
00:37:35Quick, Dad! Get under an arch!
00:37:37An arch? Where do I find one?
00:37:40Help! Help! Help!
00:37:48Help!
00:38:04Help!
00:38:12Lightning! The worst I ever saw!
00:38:14Help! Help! Mabel! Help!
00:38:20Help!
00:38:25Oh, my head!
00:38:27Help!
00:38:32Oh, my heart!
00:38:36I'm dizzy.
00:38:43Alexander!
00:38:46Just relax, Mabel. Everything is going to be all right.
00:38:55Mabel!
00:38:57Help! Earthquake! Lightning! Flood!
00:39:00Oh, the world has been weakened!
00:39:03Mabel! Mabel!
00:39:10I don't see a thing.
00:39:12Come on! Let's get out of here!
00:39:14Oh, no, Dad! The only safe place is under this arch!
00:39:21Oh! Oh, this is terrible!
00:39:24Just a little thunder!
00:39:27Oh!
00:39:32Oh, my back!
00:39:42This will go down as the greatest earthquake in history!
00:39:45If anyone lives to tell it...
00:39:57Oh!
00:40:07Oh, I hope it's over.
00:40:24The alarm clock. It's time for my pill.
00:40:27Oh, no!
00:40:58Oh!
00:41:16Good evening!
00:41:19Well, Mr. Johnson, I saved you $500, and the earthworm tractor did it all.
00:41:23Here you are, all moved to 352 Pine Street.
00:41:27You idiot! It wasn't Pine Street! It was Spruce!
00:41:37But, Alexander, you know it was all your fault.
00:41:40You should never have tried to move our house without saying something about it.
00:41:44I'll bet if I hadn't moved the house to the wrong end of town, I'd have sold them.
00:41:49Mr. Henderson is beginning to think that your father isn't a very good prospect.
00:41:52Oh, but he is!
00:41:54You'll sell him if you'll only keep trying.
00:41:55Something tells me he's weakening.
00:41:58It didn't feel like it.
00:42:01Gosh, this is awful good apple pie.
00:42:03Almost as good as Ma Blair's.
00:42:05Who's Ma Blair?
00:42:07Oh, she's...
00:42:09She's Sally's mother.
00:42:11And just who is Sally?
00:42:13She's a girl in Frozen Falls that I promised to marry.
00:42:16What?
00:42:18You see, when I left Frozen Falls to make my way in the world,
00:42:20I promised Sally that someday I'd come back and marry her.
00:42:25Alexander Botts never goes back on his word.
00:42:28Well, I hope you two will be very happy.
00:42:31I won't be able to see you tonight, or any other night.
00:42:41Boys, these advance sales reports indicate that this is going to be one of the biggest years
00:42:46that the Earthworm Tractor Company has ever had.
00:42:49Telegram, Mr. Henderson.
00:42:50Oh, thanks.
00:42:56Listen to this.
00:42:58I agree with you that Johnson is not a good prospect.
00:43:01I'm proceeding to Smedleyville by way of Frozen Falls,
00:43:04where I am going to marry a girl by the name of Sally.
00:43:07Stop.
00:43:08Congratulate me.
00:43:09Alexander Botts.
00:43:12I certainly feel sorry for Sally.
00:43:22You can wait right there, if you will.
00:43:56Why, Alexander.
00:43:58Sally.
00:44:01Sally, I came back for you.
00:44:04You mustn't do that, Alexander.
00:44:06The same old bashful Sally.
00:44:10Look, look what I brought you.
00:44:12Oh, these are beautiful, Alexander.
00:44:16Oh, I don't know.
00:44:17Not any more beautiful than...
00:44:20than the smell of that pie.
00:44:23Won't you come in?
00:44:24Will I? Sure.
00:44:26I can smell it better inside.
00:44:30Hey, Pop, look who's here.
00:44:32Pop!
00:44:34Hiya, Mr. Blair.
00:44:36Alexander Botts.
00:44:37What kind of a do-jigger are you selling now?
00:44:39The little do-jigger that I am now selling weighs 16 tons.
00:44:43Have a card.
00:44:49Earthworm Tractor.
00:44:51Well, I always told you had it in you.
00:44:54You did.
00:44:56Oh, yes, yes, yes. I remember.
00:44:58Well, Sally, I told you I'd make a success and sell big things.
00:45:02Didn't I?
00:45:03And I promised that I'd come back for you.
00:45:06Well, here I am.
00:45:07And what I said about your father not coming to live with us?
00:45:10Forget it.
00:45:12Oh, hello, Emmett. How are you?
00:45:14I'm all right, I guess.
00:45:15Well, Emmett, congratulate me.
00:45:17I'm gonna get married.
00:45:19Who's the lucky girl?
00:45:21Sally.
00:45:23That's fine. I'd like to go to a wedding.
00:45:25I haven't been to one in three months.
00:45:27Is that so? Who got married then?
00:45:29I did.
00:45:30You got married?
00:45:31Well, congratulations, Emmett.
00:45:34Who'd you marry?
00:45:35Sally.
00:45:36Sally? Well...
00:45:40Sally.
00:45:41Sally.
00:45:51Sally.
00:45:53All right, Ellie.
00:45:54This loafer married her the minute you left here.
00:45:56And he hasn't had a job since.
00:45:59Congratulations, Emmett.
00:46:01I wanted Sally, but...
00:46:03But I guess the best man won.
00:46:11Goodbye, Sally.
00:46:13Forever.
00:46:14Oh, Alexander.
00:46:17Don't take it too hard.
00:46:18You know, I'm not the only girl in the world.
00:46:20Oh, I know. That's...
00:46:21That's easy enough for you to say, Sally, but...
00:46:24There's an old saying in the true one.
00:46:26It's better to have loved and lost than...
00:46:29Than...
00:46:30Than never to have loved at all.
00:46:33Yes.
00:46:36Goodbye.
00:46:37Alexander.
00:46:38Try not to go to pieces.
00:46:39I'll try, Sally, but...
00:46:41After all, there's...
00:46:43There's always the river.
00:46:48Goodbye.
00:46:52Poor Alex.
00:46:54And he can't swim a stroke.
00:47:09To the telegram office.
00:47:10Away we go.
00:47:12Mr. Henderson.
00:47:14Telegram, Mr. Henderson.
00:47:23I disagree with you.
00:47:25I think Johnson is still a fine prospect.
00:47:28I'm proceeding back to Cyprus City...
00:47:30Where I'm going to marry a girl named Mabel.
00:47:33Stop.
00:47:34Congratulate me.
00:47:35Alexander Butz.
00:47:37Mabel.
00:47:39Is that man crazy or am I?
00:47:41I wouldn't know.
00:47:48Hey!
00:47:50Look.
00:47:51I've been trying to get in touch with Mabel and...
00:47:53Her father won't tell me where she is.
00:47:54Do you know?
00:47:55Well, I know she bought a ticket for Chicago.
00:47:57Chicago?
00:47:58Yes.
00:47:59Where's she going in Chicago?
00:48:00Well, she didn't say, but she's got an uncle there...
00:48:02And I imagine that's where she's bound for.
00:48:05Yeah, what's her uncle's name?
00:48:06As far as I remember, it's Johnson, too.
00:48:09Johnson?
00:48:10Well, that's easy.
00:48:11Thank you very much.
00:48:19Good evening, sir.
00:48:20How do you do, sir?
00:48:22My card.
00:48:24Well, I'm glad to know you, Mr. Butz.
00:48:25Do you expect to be in Chicago long?
00:48:27Well, maybe yes and maybe no.
00:48:29I see.
00:48:31It all depends.
00:48:32Yes, sir.
00:48:34Boy, take Mr. Butz's bag to 502.
00:48:37Where's the nearest telephone?
00:48:38Just around the corner, Mr. Butz.
00:48:40You're welcome, sir.
00:48:45I'm sorry, madam, he doesn't answer.
00:48:47Excuse me.
00:48:48I'm looking for a man named Johnson.
00:48:50Can you tell me how I can find him?
00:48:52Well, the Johnsons in Chicago are as thick as the Smiths in New York.
00:48:55And you know how thick the Smiths are in New York.
00:48:58Which particular Johnson are you looking for?
00:49:00Well, he's...
00:49:01He's got a niece in Cypress City by the name of Mabel.
00:49:04Well, now, ain't that nice?
00:49:05I've got an uncle in Topeka, Kansas, named Oscar.
00:49:08Well, is that so?
00:49:09Don't you know this Johnson's first name?
00:49:11No, I...
00:49:13Do you mind if I look at your book?
00:49:14Why not?
00:49:16I'll bet there's a whole page full of them.
00:49:20I'm sorry, he doesn't answer.
00:49:22Johnson.
00:49:23Johnson, Johnson.
00:49:25Johnson, Johnson, Johnson.
00:49:28Johnson, John...
00:49:31Do you mind if I use your telephone?
00:49:33Go ahead, you're paying for it.
00:49:39I'm sorry you've been disconnected, ma'am.
00:49:41I'll try again.
00:49:45Get me Oswebo 3412, please.
00:49:48Oswebo 3412?
00:49:50Just a minute.
00:49:56Hello, is this Mr. Aaron A. Johnson?
00:49:59Hello, Mr. Johnson, this is Alexander Botts calling.
00:50:02Have you a very beautiful, charming niece by the name of Mabel?
00:50:06This is the aquarium.
00:50:08Well, then you have no niece.
00:50:32Okay, I got it.
00:50:34Bay 1420.
00:50:39Hello?
00:50:41Is this the home of Thomas Johnson?
00:50:45Is Mabel Johnson there?
00:50:49She is.
00:50:51Hello, is this you, Mabel?
00:50:53This is Mabel.
00:50:55Mabel, this is Alexander.
00:50:57Alexander.
00:50:58Botts, Botts.
00:51:00Botts to you, mister.
00:51:04Hello?
00:51:05Botts to you, mister.
00:51:16All right, Crestdale 5952.
00:51:28Is this the home of Ulysses Johnson?
00:51:30Have you got a niece by the name of Mabel?
00:51:36You haven't.
00:51:38Well, thank heavens you're here.
00:51:41What a night.
00:51:43I'm exhausted.
00:51:45Zebula Zachary Johnson.
00:51:50Get me Crest 4436.
00:52:01Sorry, the phone's been disconnected.
00:52:04Well, I guess I'm through.
00:52:08That was the last Johnson in Chicago.
00:52:14No, not the very last Johnson.
00:52:17Oh, yes, it was.
00:52:18No, there's one more left.
00:52:20One more?
00:52:21Who's that?
00:52:22Mabel Johnson.
00:52:23Mabel?
00:52:25Mabel!
00:52:26Gosh, I've called you so many times.
00:52:28Mabel!
00:52:29Gosh, I've called every Johnson in Chicago trying to find you.
00:52:32Where are you?
00:52:33I'll come to you wherever you are.
00:52:35Well, just a minute.
00:52:36What about Sally?
00:52:37Oh, that's all a thing of the past.
00:52:40She don't mean a thing in the world to me.
00:52:42What made you change your mind?
00:52:44Why didn't you marry her?
00:52:45Well, when I got there, she was already married to another fella.
00:52:50Oh.
00:52:52Oh, so Sally was already married.
00:52:54Yeah, wasn't that funny?
00:52:56And then you decided to look for me.
00:52:57Yes.
00:52:58Mabel, I could hardly wait till I found you.
00:53:01Alexander Bob, I hate you.
00:53:06Mabel!
00:53:09Operator!
00:53:13Gosh, I don't know what she got mad at.
00:53:19Mabel!
00:53:20Mabel!
00:53:25That new starter's quite an improvement, eh, Hank?
00:53:27H.J.
00:53:28H.J.
00:53:29What's the trouble now?
00:53:30Listen to this.
00:53:31Trace Botts to Cramer Hotel, Chicago, where he reserved room, then disappeared.
00:53:35Stop.
00:53:36On the last scene, he was going into a telephone booth.
00:53:38Wells Detective Agency.
00:53:40If they can't find him in a telephone booth, they might as well give up.
00:53:42If I ever get my hands on him, I'll...
00:53:44Telegram, Mr. Anderson.
00:53:46Botts.
00:53:48You're right.
00:53:49My girl Mabel left for Cypress City, I hope.
00:53:52I'm following.
00:53:53Stop.
00:53:54Understand, Cypress County, in market for tractors.
00:53:57Stop.
00:53:58Wired, Cramer Hotel, $162 telephone bill.
00:54:02Stop.
00:54:03Keep in touch with me.
00:54:04Alexander Botts.
00:54:05Now that we finally found him, we can fire him.
00:54:08Oh, will I.
00:54:09Anderson, you better send another man down to get that order.
00:54:11I haven't a man available right now, but don't worry, I'll go down there myself.
00:54:14I wish I could have seen him just once before we fired him.
00:54:17I wish I could have seen him just once before you hired him.
00:54:21Tractors.
00:54:29Caught you.
00:54:30Stop watching me.
00:54:34I just wanted to tell you, Mr. Johnson, that those two tractor salesmen are still waiting.
00:54:39Well, send one of them in here.
00:54:41Well, Botts, I'm glad I was here first.
00:54:43I've got a luncheon date with an old friend of yours.
00:54:45Yeah, who's that?
00:54:46Miss Johnson.
00:54:48Miss Johnson?
00:54:49Is she back and...
00:54:50Mr. Healy, you can come in now.
00:54:54She's back.
00:54:57Well, good morning, Mr. Johnson.
00:54:59My name is George Healy of the Elephant Tractor Company.
00:55:02Talk louder.
00:55:03How do you expect me to hear you when you whisper?
00:55:05I said my name is George Healy of the Elephant Tractor Company.
00:55:08Tractors, huh?
00:55:09I hate tractors.
00:55:10But I represent the taxpayers of this county and I've got to listen to you.
00:55:13How much is your tractor?
00:55:15Well, now, the kind that your community needs costs only $4,750 FOB.
00:55:21I ask you the price of your tractor.
00:55:24I said it costs $4,750.
00:55:28Fine salesmen don't even know the price of your own product.
00:55:31I said the price is $4,000.
00:55:33Never mind the price.
00:55:34Have your tractor ready for a demonstration this afternoon.
00:55:37Now get out of here and send another fellow in.
00:55:43Crab.
00:55:44I ain't neither.
00:55:48Fine fellow, that Johnson.
00:55:50Speak up, speak up!
00:55:59Aha! Good morning, Mr. Johnson.
00:56:01Good morning.
00:56:02What, you?
00:56:03Ah, tut, tut, Mr. Johnson. Come now.
00:56:05Let's let bygones be bygones.
00:56:07After what you did to me, I don't see how you got the nerve to come in here.
00:56:10All right, Mr. Johnson, I apologize.
00:56:13I demand you apologize to me.
00:56:15All right, then I apologize.
00:56:18So you won't apologize, huh?
00:56:20All right, don't.
00:56:21I ought to kick you out of here.
00:56:23But as road commissioner of this county, I can't be prejudiced.
00:56:27What's the price of your tractor?
00:56:35Is your tractor any good for road building?
00:56:37Ha, ha, ha!
00:56:40What kind of an engine's it got in it?
00:56:48What's the horsepower?
00:56:54All right, all right.
00:56:56I'm a sick man. I've got to have my lunch.
00:56:58You know where to bring the tractor for demonstration.
00:57:00Be there on time.
00:57:02Lunch?
00:57:04Do you mind if I use your telephone?
00:57:06No, go right ahead.
00:57:10That be the Robert E. Lee Hotel, please.
00:57:16Robert E. Lee Hotel.
00:57:18Alexander Botts inquiring.
00:57:20Have there been any telephone messages for me?
00:57:22No, sir.
00:57:24You're sure Mabel Johnson hasn't called?
00:57:26Yes, sir, I'm sure.
00:57:28But there's a telegram for you.
00:57:30Oh, yes? Will you read it?
00:57:32You are absolutely, completely, and finally fired.
00:57:35Stop.
00:57:36Kindly don't annoy our customers. Stop.
00:57:38Another man is taking over your territory.
00:57:40Gilbert Henderson.
00:57:51How do you do, Mr. Johnson?
00:57:53My name is Henderson. I've read your telegram.
00:57:55I've read your telegram.
00:57:57I've read your telegram.
00:57:59I've read your telegram.
00:58:01My name is Henderson. I represent the Earthworm Tractor Company.
00:58:04Mr. Johnson, I'm very, very happy to find you alone, sir.
00:58:06I won't take up a minute of your time.
00:58:08I just want to tell you a few facts about our product.
00:58:11Speak up. Speak up.
00:58:13I understand that you've been ill.
00:58:15How do you feel today?
00:58:17Oh, I feel terrible.
00:58:20I always feel terrible.
00:58:22Oh, that's too bad.
00:58:24Mr. Henderson, whatever happened to that young salesman,
00:58:27Alexander Botts, that used to work for you?
00:58:30That salesman, he was the world's worst.
00:58:33They fired him.
00:58:35Well, I think you made a mistake there, Mr. Henderson.
00:58:38Alexander Botts impressed me as being a natural-born salesman.
00:58:43Yeah, that's what he thought.
00:58:45Well, let's not bandy words.
00:58:47I'm a man that judges by results.
00:58:49What I'm interested in is your small tractor.
00:58:52Where will the demonstration take place?
00:58:54Where?
00:58:56Oh, yeah, where? Well, now let's see.
00:58:59Here we are. Here.
00:59:02Here's Cypress City.
00:59:04There is the railroad station.
00:59:06Now, you take your small tractor and run her right down over the ramp.
00:59:10Continue right straight ahead due west for four and a half miles.
00:59:15You'll come to a large sycamore tree with a hornet's nest.
00:59:19I don't think you'll stop there,
00:59:21but you'll go right straight ahead till you come to a big stump.
00:59:26There you are. There's the stump, and that's where you stop.
00:59:28You mean that's where the demonstration will take place?
00:59:31Oh, no, no. No, but that's where we're going to meet you.
00:59:35Now, do you know how to find the place?
00:59:37Oh, surely, surely.
00:59:38Well, that's good.
00:59:40And I'll keep this map so we'll be able to find you.
00:59:43Thank you, Mr. Johnson. I'll be there.
00:59:45All right. Do it.
00:59:54And so, fellow citizens,
00:59:56as chairman of the board of road commissioners,
00:59:58I have been chosen to make the final decision
01:00:01as to which tractors we will buy for Cypress County.
01:00:08I have mapped out a very difficult course
01:00:11for these tractors to give us a demonstration.
01:00:19Just one more thing.
01:00:21I have practically made up my mind which tractor it will be.
01:00:27But in all fairness, we will go on with this demonstration.
01:00:33How about a picture, Mr. Johnson?
01:00:35A picture?
01:00:36Where is he?
01:00:37There he is.
01:00:38One of the finest speeches I've ever heard.
01:00:53Hello, Mabel.
01:00:54Gosh, I don't see why you want to be mad at me.
01:00:57If you'll just let me explain, I know we can patch this up.
01:01:01Gosh, Mabel, I can't eat. I can't sleep.
01:01:04I can't even think.
01:01:06Well, that's not unusual, is it?
01:01:08Well, you just wait till I get your father on my tractor.
01:01:11Seems to me you had him on your tractor once before.
01:01:13Oh, all right. If that's the way you want to act, go on.
01:01:16But I'm going to sell your father.
01:01:18And after I sell him, you know what I'm going to do?
01:01:20No, you don't know.
01:01:22Well, I'm going on to Smedleyville and sell some more tractors.
01:01:28And that's one of the reasons it has so much power.
01:01:31Well, young man, looks like you've got something here.
01:01:33Yes, Mr. Johnson, and you'll never regret your decision.
01:01:36Mr. Johnson, will you pose on the earthworm?
01:01:38Well, I don't want to, but I guess I will.
01:01:43And you, none of your milky business.
01:01:46And you, none of your milky business.
01:01:56Hey, what are you doing?
01:02:16Stop!
01:02:28Stop! Don't you see that sign? The road's closed.
01:02:33The earthworm don't believe in signs, Mr. Johnson.
01:02:38Come back! Don't go up there!
01:02:40Mr. Johnson, come back!
01:02:46Which way did that tractor go?
01:02:47Straight up the mountain, Miss Johnson.
01:02:49The boat will be blown up. That hill's full of dynamite.
01:02:51Well, somebody has to warn them.
01:02:52I wouldn't go up there if it doesn't apply to you.
01:02:55But don't go up there. You'll get killed.
01:03:01Stop! Don't try to climb that mountain.
01:03:05The earthworm, that's only a molehill.
01:03:10The earthworm can climb the mountains of Tibet.
01:03:14Tibet? Let me out of here!
01:03:20Put on that brake!
01:03:24Be careful!
01:03:25Careful?
01:03:27That's my middle name.
01:03:29Alexander C. Fox.
01:03:32C for careful.
01:03:36Stop! You're going to kill me!
01:03:42Dynamite.
01:03:44What?
01:03:46I said, you've got to speed up a bit or it'll come in against me to the right.
01:03:50Oh.
01:04:01I wouldn't buy a tractor that made so much noise.
01:04:05Well, we have them with mufflers, Mr. Johnson.
01:04:08What?
01:04:09Mufflers! Mufflers!
01:04:11Oh, I thought you said mufflers.
01:04:15Mufflers!
01:04:20Turn back! Turn back!
01:04:22They're dynamiting for the bureau!
01:04:24They're dynamiting to the left of us!
01:04:26They're dynamiting to the right of us!
01:04:31They're dynamiting behind us!
01:04:35Retreat! Retreat!
01:04:37Alexander Botts never retreats!
01:04:41Take me home! Take me home!
01:04:44Home?
01:04:45Where do you live now? Spruce Street or Pine?
01:04:53Left or right?
01:04:55No, left!
01:04:56Make a...
01:05:00Make a...
01:05:11Make a...
01:05:17Whoa! Whoa!
01:05:18Wake up! Quiet!
01:05:19Quiet?
01:05:20Wake up!
01:05:21Whoa!
01:05:23No! No!
01:05:25Whoa! Get us off this buoy!
01:05:27Whoa!
01:05:28We're bailing!
01:05:29Get over!
01:05:31Whoa!
01:05:39You can't go over that bridge!
01:05:41It's unsafe!
01:05:43Johnson, don't worry!
01:05:44The earthworm is safe anyplace!
01:05:56Stop! Stop! Stop!
01:06:01Well, all right! If you're afraid, Mr. Johnson, we'll back up!
01:06:04No! No! No! Don't back up!
01:06:06Keep on going! Go ahead!
01:06:07Well, make up your mind what you want!
01:06:09Go ahead! Go ahead!
01:06:10All right?
01:06:11Away we go!
01:06:31What are you stopping for?
01:06:33Looks pretty wobbly up ahead there, Mr. Johnson!
01:06:35I think we'd better go back!
01:06:36No! No! No! Don't go back!
01:06:38Keep on going! Ahead!
01:06:39Ahead!
01:06:40All right?
01:06:41Anything you say, Mr. Johnson!
01:06:43Yes.
01:06:49Whoa!
01:06:51Whoa!
01:06:52Whoa!
01:06:53Whoa!
01:06:54Whoa!
01:06:55Whoa!
01:06:56Whoa!
01:06:57Whoa!
01:06:58Whoa!
01:06:59Whoa!
01:07:00Whoa!
01:07:18Pull down on all the brakes!
01:07:20The brakes are gone!
01:07:29Hello, citizens, I'm the chairman of the board of road commissioners of Cypress Gallia.
01:07:40Alexander Butz, you're going to pay for this.
01:07:43You hear what I'm saying?
01:07:45What?
01:07:46I say you're going to pay for this.
01:07:48Speak up, speak up.
01:07:49I can't hear you.
01:07:50I can hear you.
01:07:51I'm cured.
01:07:52I'm cured.
01:07:53I say I can't hear you.
01:07:54Speak up.
01:07:56I'm cured.
01:07:57I can hear you.
01:07:58Stop whispering.
01:07:59Boy, this is the greatest tractor in the world.
01:08:00I'm going to buy six of them for the county and eight of them for my lumber company.
01:08:01What did you say?
01:08:02Alexander, are you all right?
01:08:03All right.
01:08:04I just bought 14 tractors from this young man.
01:08:05I always knew you were a master salesman, darling.
01:08:06What?
01:08:07Darling.
01:08:08Louder.
01:08:09Darling.
01:08:10Louder.
01:08:11Darling.
01:08:12Louder.
01:08:13Darling.
01:08:14Louder.
01:08:15Louder.
01:08:16Louder.
01:08:17Louder.
01:08:18Louder.
01:08:19Louder.
01:08:20Louder.
01:08:21Louder.
01:08:22Louder.
01:08:23Louder.
01:08:24Louder.
01:08:25Darling.
01:08:29Oh, darling.
01:08:31I can hear that.