• 9 years ago
The Philippines has recently had a rash of diaper-related thefts, while diaper sales and stocks have skyrocketed. Apparently, Francis Tolentino of the Metropolitan Manila Development Authority is behind the whole thing.

Pope Francis will be dropping in next week for a few days between Jan. 15-19, so to ensure that traffic runs smoothly in the busy capital, Tolentino has ordered the city’s 2,000 traffic cops to throw on diapers so they can do the duty while on duty.

Up to 800 lucky traffic cops will make history this Friday by being the first Filipino cops ever to wear diapers on duty during the 24-hr Black Nazarene procession.

The Black Nazarene procession attracts huge crowds of barefoot mostly-male Filipino Roman Catholics who parade an old black Jesus statue which devotees believe has mystical powers.

Tolentino also said priests, nuns, seminarians and the elderly should toss on some Depends as there won’t be enough porta potties for Pope Francis’ Jan. 18 open-air mass.

When asked if he will wear a diaper, Tolentino said, “I will try, but in my case, I have less hydration.” A simple no would have sufficed.

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