Christmas Elf on the Shelf is moving! Hide your kids, hide your wife!
- 9 years ago
Once a year (since 2005), Elf on the Shelf undergoes a magical transformation. The Elf starts as a worthless lump of plastic, then when Christmas approaches, he magically transforms into a desirable holiday gimmick worth $29.95 on Amazon. Like all plastic toys made in China, the Elf brings no joy to the little boys and girls who assemble him for slave wages, because they don’t have Christmas.
But once the Elf enters your house, another transformation takes place. Where children formerly respected their parents and craved their approval, now they only require the approval of the Elf. The Elf sees all. The Elf hears all. The Elf knows what you’ve done with your dirty little hands.
Soon, the Elf is taking on responsibilities traditionally shouldered by the man of the household. Should the incumbent male protest, the other members of the family will gently remind him that the Elf is more than capable of providing the care and sustenance they need. The Elf’s love is superior to father’s in every way, both emotionally, and physically. Open yourself for the Elf.
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But once the Elf enters your house, another transformation takes place. Where children formerly respected their parents and craved their approval, now they only require the approval of the Elf. The Elf sees all. The Elf hears all. The Elf knows what you’ve done with your dirty little hands.
Soon, the Elf is taking on responsibilities traditionally shouldered by the man of the household. Should the incumbent male protest, the other members of the family will gently remind him that the Elf is more than capable of providing the care and sustenance they need. The Elf’s love is superior to father’s in every way, both emotionally, and physically. Open yourself for the Elf.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Welcome to TomoNews, where we animate the most entertaining news on the internets. Come here for an animated look at viral headlines, US news, celebrity gossip, salacious scandals, dumb criminals and much more! Subscribe now for daily news animations that will knock your socks off.
For news that's fun and never boring, visit our channel:
https://www.youtube.com/user/TomoNewsUS
Subscribe to stay updated on all the top stories:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCt-WqkTyKK1_70U4bb4k4lQ?sub_confirmation=1
Visit our official website for all the latest, uncensored videos: https://us.tomonews.net
Check out our Android app: http://bit.ly/1rddhCj
Check out our iOS app: http://bit.ly/1gO3z1f
Stay connected with us here:
Facebook http://www.facebook.com/TomoNewsUS
Twitter @tomonewsus http://www.twitter.com/TomoNewsUS
Google+ http://plus.google.com/+TomoNewsUS/
Instagram @tomonewsus http://instagram.com/tomonewsus