• 9 years ago
NEW YORK — David Letterman’s Late Show showed its final episode today Wednesday night. So, on the occasion of David Letterman’s last Late Show performance, here’s the Top 10 things we will, or won’t, miss about David Letterman!

Number 10, choosing whether to watch Letterman or Leno? Letterman obviously!

Number 9, choosing whether to watch Letterman or Jimmy Fallon/Kimmel… Yuck. Makes us nostalgic for not choosing Leno…

Number 8, Stupid Pet Tricks! Did you know this bit inspired the creation of Youtube. It’s true! Those guys were going to cure cancer until they saw a parrot flipping quarters on the Late Show.

Number 7, the tooth gap… The tooth gap… the tooth gap…… the… Sorry! I just got lost in it for a while there.

Number 6, creepy interviews with women. Or, just creepy interviews… period. Dave sure knew how to make people uncomfortable.

Number 5, watching him age reminding us of our own mortality. Was that desk radioactive or something? Jeeze.

Number 4, Rupert Jee’s deli, unless Colbert continues eating there, in which case, proceed to number 3.

Number 3! Stephen Colbert! Losing our two best talk show hosts within a year was too much! Until they merged! Forming Stephid Colbetterman! Or Daven Letterbert?

Number 2, that classy blackmail/infidelity confession on air! Balls were Dave’s biggest asset, and biggest liability.

And Number 1, top 10 lists themselves! Dave’s popularizing of “Top 10” lists gave rise to the “listicle,” which then gave rise to Buzzfeed! Which… wait, that’s terrible. Go to hell, Dave!

Anyway, David Letterman invented the postmodern, self aware, talk show, now universally imitated. Even as he retires he’s still master of the format.

So farewell old friend… oh, and Paul Shaffer too. Chill dude.

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