Answers to the most asked questions: \r
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-Why was Daisy put to sleep?\r
Daisy had bone cancer in both back legs. She had stopped eating completely and was having seizures. Before this video at the vet, Dais was given a shot to help with anxiety and something for pain which is why she looks healthy right before. However, at home, if she wasnt throwing up, she was having horrible seizures. When she wasnt crying in pure agony, she was either throwing up or having a seziures. Which although we didnt get her brain scanned, they said if there is already diagnosed cancer elsewhere, when they start having seziures that means it, more than likely, has spread to the brain. I held on to her far too long for selfish reasons. And now, 6, almost 7 years later, I am going through my own agonising health issue & believe me, this WAS the most humane thing to do for her.\r
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-Why did you film this? \r
This video was never supposed to be a video. When I asked the tech to take one last picture of me and Daisy together; while she was alive ( I didnt want pictures of her dying or dead) the tech, captured the picture, (OR SO I THOUGHT) then set the camera down and stepped out. After the whole ordeal was over, as soon as I got in my car, I felt paralyzed. I couldnt move without her in the seat next to me. So I grabbed the camera to see the last photo of us together. However, what I quickly noticed was the tech pushed the record button instead on the photo trigger button. \r
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-Why did you post it to YouTube?\r
I knew right away by the length of the video he had probably captured everything. I couldnt bare to watch it as I had just lived it & I immediately thought of deleting it. When I got home, I started looking for pet loss groups/fourms to figure out how to cope with the loss of a pet. It was then that I saw TONS of questions surrounding the topic of putting your pet to sleep. What the process was, what to expect, when to do it, etc.\r
I knew I hadnt deleted the video but I also knew that I needed to watch it in order to make sure it wasnt as traumatizing to watch as it was to experience.\r
After doing so, I realized that this wasnt going to be an easy thing. I had to decide if helping others was worth the inevitable scrutiny and public backlash. As most women would agree, just having a video of themselves sobbing, sniffing, ugly crying, is uncomfortable let alone having it made available to the world. However, I knew this couldnt have been a coincidence that the guy pushed the wrong button. It wasnt weird to have my camera with me, back then I used to take my camera everywhere. So much so that I when I would buy a purse, I made sure it had a designated spot for my camera. And back then, having someone else take a picture from your phone wasnt as easy as it is today. But it just kept pulling at my heart that this could potentially give an answer to all those people who were in turmoil over the fear of the unknown when it came to having to make that decision. If nothing else, Ive always been the person to try and use my hurt/pain to help others and seeing that Dais was MY pup, I felt that she would have wanted to help others just as much as I did.\r
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-Why did you disable the comment section?\r
Even though I thought I was prepared for the comments of hate, I dont think you can ever fully get used to people saying them. Even if they are just typed out words and not comments to your face, they still get to you, no matter how hard you try to not let them. I have a saying that Ive used more than most. There is an old saying that says Sticks and Stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me. I dont feel as though that is the case anymore no matter how much we wish it was. I feel as though the saying should be, Sticks & stones will break my bones but words DESTROY my soul. \r
IT WASNT WORTH IT! I already struggled with depression. Especially after the loss of Daisy. And the worst thing you can do to yourself when you are going through that, is give others the chance to reiterate the thoughts/feelings that you are trying so hard to ignore. Yes, I could have taken the video down, but the reason I had put it up still hadnt changed. So in order to give myself the time & ability, to process the death of my baby, I had to make sure the world didnt have a say in how I did that. \r
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Daisy was my world. She brought me so much joy and I miss her every day. I have since opened my heart to another Dog, Maddie, who not only looks like Daisy at times but has some similarities when it comes to her behavior. Sometimes I even say to her Daisy? Is that you in there? \r
\r
I know the saying is rest in peace, but when it comes to that dog, resting was never a goal for her. So instead, I will say Run in Peace bab
\r
-Why was Daisy put to sleep?\r
Daisy had bone cancer in both back legs. She had stopped eating completely and was having seizures. Before this video at the vet, Dais was given a shot to help with anxiety and something for pain which is why she looks healthy right before. However, at home, if she wasnt throwing up, she was having horrible seizures. When she wasnt crying in pure agony, she was either throwing up or having a seziures. Which although we didnt get her brain scanned, they said if there is already diagnosed cancer elsewhere, when they start having seziures that means it, more than likely, has spread to the brain. I held on to her far too long for selfish reasons. And now, 6, almost 7 years later, I am going through my own agonising health issue & believe me, this WAS the most humane thing to do for her.\r
\r
-Why did you film this? \r
This video was never supposed to be a video. When I asked the tech to take one last picture of me and Daisy together; while she was alive ( I didnt want pictures of her dying or dead) the tech, captured the picture, (OR SO I THOUGHT) then set the camera down and stepped out. After the whole ordeal was over, as soon as I got in my car, I felt paralyzed. I couldnt move without her in the seat next to me. So I grabbed the camera to see the last photo of us together. However, what I quickly noticed was the tech pushed the record button instead on the photo trigger button. \r
\r
-Why did you post it to YouTube?\r
I knew right away by the length of the video he had probably captured everything. I couldnt bare to watch it as I had just lived it & I immediately thought of deleting it. When I got home, I started looking for pet loss groups/fourms to figure out how to cope with the loss of a pet. It was then that I saw TONS of questions surrounding the topic of putting your pet to sleep. What the process was, what to expect, when to do it, etc.\r
I knew I hadnt deleted the video but I also knew that I needed to watch it in order to make sure it wasnt as traumatizing to watch as it was to experience.\r
After doing so, I realized that this wasnt going to be an easy thing. I had to decide if helping others was worth the inevitable scrutiny and public backlash. As most women would agree, just having a video of themselves sobbing, sniffing, ugly crying, is uncomfortable let alone having it made available to the world. However, I knew this couldnt have been a coincidence that the guy pushed the wrong button. It wasnt weird to have my camera with me, back then I used to take my camera everywhere. So much so that I when I would buy a purse, I made sure it had a designated spot for my camera. And back then, having someone else take a picture from your phone wasnt as easy as it is today. But it just kept pulling at my heart that this could potentially give an answer to all those people who were in turmoil over the fear of the unknown when it came to having to make that decision. If nothing else, Ive always been the person to try and use my hurt/pain to help others and seeing that Dais was MY pup, I felt that she would have wanted to help others just as much as I did.\r
\r
-Why did you disable the comment section?\r
Even though I thought I was prepared for the comments of hate, I dont think you can ever fully get used to people saying them. Even if they are just typed out words and not comments to your face, they still get to you, no matter how hard you try to not let them. I have a saying that Ive used more than most. There is an old saying that says Sticks and Stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me. I dont feel as though that is the case anymore no matter how much we wish it was. I feel as though the saying should be, Sticks & stones will break my bones but words DESTROY my soul. \r
IT WASNT WORTH IT! I already struggled with depression. Especially after the loss of Daisy. And the worst thing you can do to yourself when you are going through that, is give others the chance to reiterate the thoughts/feelings that you are trying so hard to ignore. Yes, I could have taken the video down, but the reason I had put it up still hadnt changed. So in order to give myself the time & ability, to process the death of my baby, I had to make sure the world didnt have a say in how I did that. \r
-------------\r
Daisy was my world. She brought me so much joy and I miss her every day. I have since opened my heart to another Dog, Maddie, who not only looks like Daisy at times but has some similarities when it comes to her behavior. Sometimes I even say to her Daisy? Is that you in there? \r
\r
I know the saying is rest in peace, but when it comes to that dog, resting was never a goal for her. So instead, I will say Run in Peace bab
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