• 6 years ago
From the shocking Babys First Baby doll to the very creepy Roadkill Cat toy these are the most unbelievable childrens toys ever made!\r
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# 9 Lets Play TSA Pretend\r
If theres anything you want your kids to spend their free time pretending to be its definitely the TSA agents at the airport, right? With the Scan It Security Scanner Metal Detector toy your kids can pretend to scan your luggage and make you wait in line for at least half an hour! It might start off with them asking you to fork over your phones, keys, and loose change but next thing you know your kids will be hassling you for your containers of liquid and start randomly selecting you for questioning. \r
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# 8 Babys First Baby\r
Little girls dolls come with a bunch of aspirational themes. Theres Astronaut Barbie and President Barbie, things like that. Well now, you can give them Babys First Baby, the baby thats pregnant with a pregnant baby! OK, but really, theres something really messed up about this right? Well that was the point artist Darren Cullen was trying to make. He wanted to point out that it can be kind of creepy that we give little girls baby dolls and toys that train them into doing household chores and housewife errands from a young age. Luckily, this was just a one time art project and not a mass manufured toy. Well, at least Fisher Price hasnt started manufuring them YET. \r
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# 7 God, Almighty\r
This toy version of the “Almighty God” comes equpped with a russian made AK-47 assault rifle. What? Well, how else is God going to smite those unrepentant sinners! If you feel theres something a little blasphemous about this, dont worry! He comes with a “hallowed cloak of invulnerability” and hes distributed by the Jesus Christ Superstore! \r
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# 6 Vampire Baby\r
This is the doll of a baby sucking the blood out of the inner plastic veins from another baby. We all want our kids exposed to the horrors of the world as early as possible? With this you can show them the real messed up images humans are capable of imagining when we put our minds to it. Hopefully, they will one day make toys like this and start the cycle of traumatizing children all over again. \r
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# 5 Jar Jar Binks Lollipop \r
During the promotion of the Phantom Menace, the marketing guys at Lucasarts really outdid themselves. This is Jar Jar Binks, possibly one of the most disliked charers in the franchise. So, of course, they made a million pieces of merch featuring none other than the weird amphibian rabbit, frog, alien.thing. This is just one of those many toys. If you cant tell, its a lollipop. The piece of candy is Jar Jar Binks disgusting tongue. Someone should have told the PR guys that no one wants to play tonsil hockey with this guy. Theres just something a little unsettling about his unhinging jaw and dead eyes that makes eating this lollipop / making out with this alien toy that much more unsettling.\r
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# 4 Roadkill Cat\r
I know there are things that can be lost in translation from culture to culture, but this Roadkill Cat from Japan is still totally weird, right? It comes with a relatively detailed tire tread, and completely loose innards. The packaging comes with a cute little kid looking on at the scene happily. Its hard to imagine a kid anywhere in the glove would be happy receiving this tragic toy as a gift.\r
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# 3 Pee & Poo\r
Meet Pee & Poo, Japans favorite anthropomorphized cartoon versions of human waste! Even though they are pretty much literally excrement, theres something cute about them. Their demure eyes, tiny body parts, welcoming hands. It almost makes you want to hug these pieces of crap. Only Japan could make two things we naturally find repulsive into something you want to love forever! \r
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# 2 Jibba Jabber\r
Meet Jibba Jabber, the totally harmless doll. This toy might be a little offbeat looking, but its by no means too bizarre, is it? Well, it ually comes with a weird function. When you shake its long, vulnerable neck, it begins to make a loud noise continuous noise. And it wont ever shut up. The only way to get this thing to be quiet is to squeeze its neck even harder than you did the first time. So yeah, this little Jibba Jabber is basically a strangulation tutorial.\r
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# 1 Epidermits, the skin creature\r
Epidermits is possibly one of the most unsettling toy on this list. It is a mechanical creature covered in skin tissue and hair. Its skin is apparently full customizable. Children can pierce, tan, and tattoo the Epidermits to their hearts content. This toy is from Karten Design and is meant to showcase what can happen when designers start making things without taking ual humans and human interions into consideration. Straight from the

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