Dusty's Trail E27: The Wackiest Wagon Train In The West
22min | Comedy, Western | TV Series (1973– )
A stage and a wagon heading west get separated from the rest of the wagon train thanks to Dusty. Now they must make their way to California.
Creators: Elroy Schwartz, Sherwood Schwartz
Stars: Bob Denver, Forrest Tucker, Ivor Francis
22min | Comedy, Western | TV Series (1973– )
A stage and a wagon heading west get separated from the rest of the wagon train thanks to Dusty. Now they must make their way to California.
Creators: Elroy Schwartz, Sherwood Schwartz
Stars: Bob Denver, Forrest Tucker, Ivor Francis
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Let's follow the path of Dusty's Trail, oh, Dusty's Trail, Dusty's Trail.
00:00:07A stage and a wagon a-headin' west, part of a wagon train lost from the rest.
00:00:16Dusty's the reason for their plight. Thanks to Dusty, nothin's right.
00:00:23Only the wagon master's hand keeps them a-rollin' to the promised land.
00:00:31Oh, the goin' gets mighty rough, but they don't seem to mind.
00:00:37It's California, eh, that's the place they must find.
00:00:43Deserts and rocks are in their way, but they won't stop, come what may.
00:00:50Mountains and hills that they must scale, but they know they'll make it,
00:00:55cause they just can't fail on Dusty's Trail.
00:01:05Well, we're ready to move out, Dusty. You got everything straight?
00:01:07Yes, sir, Mr. Callahan. You're gonna ride ahead to scout the trail,
00:01:09and we'll remain about a mile behind.
00:01:11Right.
00:01:12And don't worry about a thing. I got everything under control.
00:01:14Good.
00:01:15Wagons, ho!
00:01:20Whoa, please, whoa, whoa. Please, whoa, whoa, please, whoa.
00:01:28We'll be gettin' a starter as soon as Dusty gets the team hitched up to the stage.
00:01:31Thought he had them hitched.
00:01:33Yeah, so did he. Oh, Andy.
00:01:34Yeah, Mr. Callahan.
00:01:35You be sure and keep that wagon close to the stage on the trail today.
00:01:38We have to run into some hackamaws.
00:01:40Hackamaws?
00:01:42Yeah, Indians. The hackamaws are the most hostile and fierce of all the Indians.
00:01:48Doesn't that make you nervous?
00:01:50Not Lulu. Well, I'll match my war paint against their war paint.
00:01:54Anytime.
00:01:59Well, now that's how it should have been done the first time, Dusty.
00:02:02Yes, sir.
00:02:04Well, now, if you people get in, we'll get started.
00:02:06I thought I made it perfectly clear that you ought to handle the stagecoach,
00:02:09and Dusty can do the scouting.
00:02:11Oh, boy.
00:02:12I'm the wagon master, so I will make the decisions.
00:02:16May I remind you they have just discovered gold in the California Territory.
00:02:20I must get there as quickly as possible to open a western branch of my bank.
00:02:23How many banks you own doesn't mean a thing to me.
00:02:26I also own the company which owns this wagon train.
00:02:31Now, that means something to me.
00:02:33Well, if that's the way you want it, Dusty, you are going to ride scout.
00:02:38Oh, wow. I always wanted to ride scout.
00:02:44Wait a minute, Dusty.
00:02:46Fix the stirrup for you.
00:02:49There.
00:02:51I'll show him.
00:03:02Oh, thanks, Dusty.
00:03:03For what, Mr. Callahan?
00:03:05For not wearing spurs.
00:03:07Oh, yeah.
00:03:08Octavia! Octavia!
00:03:25Octavia! Octavia!
00:03:38Octavia! Octavia!
00:03:51Octavia! Octavia!
00:03:55Octavia! Octavia!
00:04:25It's all right. It's okay. I won't hurt you.
00:04:41Oh, my gosh.
00:04:49Oh, dear.
00:04:55Oh, yeah. All right.
00:05:10What happened, Dusty?
00:05:11Well, I got there just in time. He was being mauled by a bear.
00:05:16What's happened now?
00:05:18He's just a boy.
00:05:19Yeah, a hackamole Indian.
00:05:21Well, I couldn't leave him there. He might have died.
00:05:23His tribe would have found him buzzard brain. Now they'll find us.
00:05:26Yeah, the hackamoles are noted for their tracking ability.
00:05:28They are?
00:05:30Lulu and I better take care of his wounds.
00:05:32Yeah, handy.
00:05:34Good idea. Then we can grab him off where Dusty found him.
00:05:37Should I water your horse, Mr. Callahan?
00:05:39Oh, boy, that was a smart thing to do.
00:05:41Don't you know that those hackamoles might be looking for him right now?
00:05:44Yeah, well, at least you covered your trail, huh?
00:05:48He's here. He's here.
00:05:51Lola.
00:05:53Numba.
00:05:55Notu.
00:05:59Lola.
00:06:05Lucky puta.
00:06:18Shh.
00:06:20Shh.
00:06:22Lucky thing we have these spare wheels.
00:06:24We can leave some phony tracks and throw the hackamoles off our trail.
00:06:27Are you sure the hackamoles are trailing us?
00:06:29Positive, but we can't tell the passengers. They might panic.
00:06:31I wish they would. I'd like a little company.
00:06:33Hey, just quiet down while you put the wheel on the axle.
00:06:36Besides, I mean, how do you know they're going to follow this trail instead of the other trail?
00:06:40There won't be any other trail.
00:06:42We're going to wipe them out with some brush.
00:06:44Oh, that's a bright idea. I wonder why I didn't think of it.
00:06:46Because it was a bright idea.
00:06:52What happened to your end?
00:06:56I'll show you.
00:07:02That's what happened to my end.
00:07:07Now, come on. Let's get the hell out of here.
00:07:10Shh.
00:07:12Now, come on. Let's get the wheels on that axle before those hackamoles catch up with us.
00:07:19Hey, Dusty, you tighten up that bolt and I'll go clear the brush out of the way.
00:07:23There you go.
00:07:38Mr. Callaghan!
00:07:41Mr. Callaghan!
00:07:43Mr. Callaghan!
00:07:45Can't you see I'm busy?
00:07:47Run!
00:07:49Where?
00:07:52Where?
00:07:54Hey!
00:07:56Hey!
00:08:04Dusty!
00:08:10They should be able to follow that trail, huh, Mr. Callaghan?
00:08:13Yes, Dusty.
00:08:15Well, they certainly should.
00:08:18Dad?
00:08:32These wounds don't look too serious.
00:08:34No, but he's starting to get a fever.
00:08:39What are you looking at?
00:08:41The design on this headband.
00:08:43Very unusual.
00:08:45I wonder if it means anything.
00:08:48Andy might know. Before we left, he studied about all the Indians.
00:08:52The rivers, the mountains, everything we'd encounter on the trip.
00:08:56He really came prepared.
00:08:59I should have known.
00:09:01Any man who wears suspenders and a belt is always prepared.
00:09:05Huh?
00:09:07Never mind.
00:09:09Andy!
00:09:12Bringing that Indian boy back here.
00:09:14When are you going to do something right, Dusty?
00:09:16Mr. Callaghan!
00:09:18Halt!
00:09:20Whoa! Come on, boy.
00:09:28What's delaying us now?
00:09:30I've got to talk to Andy.
00:09:32What's the problem?
00:09:34It's about the Indian boy.
00:09:36If we get in any more trouble over him, I'm going to use you for target practice.
00:09:39You didn't get a chance to look at his headband before.
00:09:41Unless I'm wrong.
00:09:43Chief's son?
00:09:45Great, just great.
00:09:47You've done it this time. Every brave in that tribe will be after us.
00:09:50On the contrary. A chief's son could be a valuable asset in the trade.
00:09:54Oh?
00:09:55For safe passage through the Hakama territory.
00:09:57Safe passage? Yeah, you're right.
00:10:00By delivering the chief's son to us, Dusty's all but guaranteed our safety.
00:10:03You know, if anything, he's a hero.
00:10:15How is he?
00:10:44He's still burning with fever.
00:10:46I'll make another wet compress.
00:10:48It might let him sleep a little better.
00:10:50Yeah, we've got to keep him in good shape.
00:10:53Poor thing, he's still unconscious.
00:10:56Yeah, speaking of unconscious,
00:10:58by the way Dusty up, it's his turn to take over the guard duty.
00:11:01Anything I can get for you?
00:11:03No, I'll just sit with the boy a while.
00:11:06Yeah, good.
00:11:15Oh.
00:11:24Oh, it's you Mr. Callahan.
00:11:26Well, who did you expect, Daniel Boone?
00:11:28Come on now, wake up Dusty, it's time for you to take over guard duty.
00:11:31We'll buy that big rock.
00:11:45Huh.
00:11:47Dusty.
00:11:48This is the last watch before dawn.
00:11:50Yes sir, mister.
00:11:52Dusty.
00:11:53Callahan.
00:11:54Wake up.
00:11:55I'm awake.
00:11:56Stay that way.
00:11:57Wake me at dawn so we can get an early start.
00:11:59Right.
00:12:04Dusty.
00:12:06What are your orders?
00:12:07Wake you at start so you can get early dawn.
00:12:09Yeah.
00:12:11Heh.
00:12:12Close enough.
00:12:42Hmm.
00:12:52Hmm.
00:13:05Hmm.
00:13:13Betsy's gone too.
00:13:15She's not in the wagon.
00:13:16Yeah, I know.
00:13:17Look at those tracks.
00:13:18Moccasins.
00:13:19Looks like a couple Indians came in here and took the boy and Betsy.
00:13:21Hey, where's Dusty?
00:13:22Maybe they took him too.
00:13:23No, no such luck.
00:13:24Dusty, wake up, wake up.
00:13:25Sorry Mr. Callahan, I must have dozed off for a few minutes.
00:13:27Yeah, well, you dozed off for a few minutes.
00:13:29Two Braves came in here and captured the Indian boy and Betsy.
00:13:31Two Indian boys captured an Indian, Betsy?
00:13:33No, no, two Betsys captured the Braves.
00:13:35Oh, Dusty.
00:13:36Come on, we better pick up the trail.
00:13:37Wait for me.
00:13:43Mr. Brookhaven.
00:13:45Mr. Brookhaven.
00:13:48He got right in the middle of my obbligato.
00:13:51I'm afraid we've got some bad news.
00:13:53The Hackamaws have Betsy tied to a post.
00:13:55Yeah, and those Braves keep walking past her and poking her with a stick.
00:13:57That means that one of them is going to take her as his wife.
00:14:00Those scoundrels.
00:14:02I say we should get on our horses and ride.
00:14:05As far away as we can.
00:14:07Mr. Brookhaven, you should be ashamed.
00:14:09Suggesting we ride off without attempting a rescue.
00:14:11Yeah, well, one of us could slip in there and get her out.
00:14:13I'll be back as soon as I can.
00:14:15One moment, Wagon Master.
00:14:17What will happen to us if anything happens to you?
00:14:19I'd be in charge.
00:14:21That's a foreboding thought.
00:14:23Yeah, your point is well taken.
00:14:25It'll have to be somebody else.
00:14:26I'll go.
00:14:28He volunteered. Why didn't you?
00:14:30He beat me to it.
00:14:31Now, volunteer, that's an order.
00:14:33I volunteer.
00:14:34Mr. Callahan, I must insist I be allowed to go.
00:14:37In preparing for this trip, I studied several Indian languages,
00:14:40including the Hakama dialect.
00:14:42I believe that gives me a distinct advantage.
00:14:44We'll be ready to move as soon as you get back here with Betsy.
00:14:46I should be back with her within an hour,
00:14:48unless I run into a problem.
00:14:49Yeah.
00:15:02He ran into a problem.
00:15:06Listen up.
00:15:07I got a great plan on how somebody can walk right out of that Hakama camp
00:15:10without even being noticed.
00:15:11Fantastic.
00:15:12Yeah, well, anyway, somebody wearing these clothes,
00:15:14a little skin dye, and some braids, feathers,
00:15:17they could walk right in there and cut Betsy and Andy loose.
00:15:20That's a great plan. It can't fail.
00:15:21Yeah, the only trouble is somebody wearing these clothes
00:15:23has got to be kind of small, slight, built about like it.
00:15:25It'll never work.
00:15:29Looks too red.
00:15:31Better put in some more blueberries to tone you down a bit.
00:15:35Mmm, that tastes delicious.
00:15:37Oh, be serious, will you?
00:15:38Two people's lives depend on you.
00:15:40Three, including me.
00:15:42Oh, now, listen, little pal.
00:15:44You don't think for a minute I'd let you go over there
00:15:46if there wasn't a good chance you coming back, all right, do you?
00:15:49I guess not.
00:15:51Yeah, yeah.
00:15:52All right, you dab that on yourself,
00:15:54and I'll go see Lulu and see how the braids are coming.
00:16:05Hey, that looks great.
00:16:07Where'd you get the hair?
00:16:14That looks like a hackamaw braid, all right.
00:16:16You just don't tell Dusty where I got it.
00:16:18Well, it seems the two of them go very well together.
00:16:21Yeah.
00:16:24All right, Dusty.
00:16:25Now, I'd better teach you a few words of hackamaw
00:16:27in case you've got to speak to somebody.
00:16:29Good idea. How do you say I surrender?
00:16:31Now, listen.
00:16:32I say you get in the camp,
00:16:34and you cut Andy and Betsy free, you see?
00:16:37And a brave says to you, Chukamaringa has-has.
00:16:40Then you say to him, Koronumba.
00:16:42You see?
00:16:43He has said to you, where are you taking the prisoners?
00:16:45And you say to him, to the chief.
00:16:47You got that?
00:16:48Yeah, yeah.
00:16:49If he says to me, chunga-kamo-hashin-hash.
00:16:51No, no, no.
00:16:52You just said, did you catch any worms?
00:16:55Did I say that?
00:16:56Listen up, will you?
00:16:58Now, pay attention.
00:16:59We haven't got much time.
00:17:00Repeat after me.
00:17:01Chuka.
00:17:02Chuka.
00:17:03Maringa.
00:17:04Maringa.
00:17:05Has.
00:17:06Has.
00:17:07Has.
00:17:08Has.
00:17:09Has.
00:17:10Now, put it all together.
00:17:11Chukamaringa-
00:17:12Has.
00:17:13Has.
00:17:14Hey, that's great.
00:17:15Hey, that's great.
00:17:16No, no.
00:17:17Just use the Indian word.
00:17:18Chukamaringa-has-has.
00:17:19Oh, that's fine.
00:17:20Then you say to him,
00:17:23Put the wagons in a circle.
00:17:25Put the wagons in a circle.
00:17:26We've only got two wagons.
00:17:27You get everybody hidden, I'll keep them busy.
00:17:34Behind the rock.
00:17:35Behind the rock.
00:17:36Get behind the rock.
00:17:37Behind the rock.
00:17:43Chukamaringa-has.
00:17:44Has.
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00:18:11Dusty, you!
00:18:13What did you tackle me for?
00:18:14I'm sorry.
00:18:15I guess I just got carried away.
00:18:16Dill.
00:18:17All right.
00:18:18All right.
00:18:19All right.
00:18:20All right.
00:18:21All right.
00:18:22All right.
00:18:23All right.
00:18:24All right.
00:18:25All right.
00:18:26Put your cheek case, you know.
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00:30:44The question is, are you gonna do the same?
00:30:48Okay.
00:30:56Easy, boy. Easy. Easy. Easy.
00:31:00This is your friend.
00:31:02Easy. This is your friend.
00:31:06Dusty!
00:31:14Whoa!
00:31:16Whoa!
00:31:20Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
00:31:23Whoa!
00:31:25Ah!
00:31:27Ah!
00:31:29Oh!
00:31:31Oh!
00:31:45Huh?
00:31:56You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
00:31:58Acting like a wild animal.
00:32:00Just wanted to be your friend.
00:32:02Some friend you turned out to be.
00:32:05Okay. I'm not gonna put up any more horse than around even your horse.
00:32:08Do you understand? Huh?
00:32:14You did it, Dusty!
00:32:33You gentled him!
00:32:34Yeah, you showed him who's boss.
00:32:36Dusty, you're a man after my own heart.
00:32:39I can't believe it.
00:32:40My own horse.
00:32:42My really own horse for the rest of my life.
00:32:45Of course, that won't be for very long.
00:32:49Welcome to the hanging, folks.
00:32:53There's strong trees over by that relay station, Marshal.
00:32:56Why don't we hang him over there?
00:32:58Just a minute.
00:32:59Dusty did not steal that horse.
00:33:00He's right.
00:33:01He's innocent.
00:33:02You'll have to prove otherwise.
00:33:03Well, that's easy.
00:33:04This horse is Circulo's stock.
00:33:06He's only got one mark on him, and it's mine.
00:33:09And there it is.
00:33:10Circulo.
00:33:11Well, I've looked at a lot of brands, but I never saw that Circulo before.
00:33:14Well, that horse has always been covered with spots.
00:33:17First time I saw him, I thought he had measles.
00:33:19He's a low-down horse thief, and we're going to hang him.
00:33:22Now, hold on.
00:33:23They're extenuating circumstances.
00:33:25Constable, you must not allow this to happen.
00:33:28Or the United States government will not receive another penny of my tax money.
00:33:32But you're supposed to be a lawman.
00:33:34What kind of justice do they have in this territory?
00:33:37Okay, okay.
00:33:38We'll give them a fair try.
00:33:40Now, that's better.
00:33:41And then we'll hang him.
00:33:44Order to court.
00:33:50How long have you known the defendant?
00:33:51Since we left the East.
00:33:53In your personal opinion, would he ever steal anything?
00:33:55Oh, no, never.
00:33:57See, I'm innocent.
00:33:58Sit down.
00:33:59We ain't even got to the part about you stealing horses yet.
00:34:03Do you believe that Dusty would go around stealing horses?
00:34:07Your Honor, Dusty wouldn't steal honey from a beehive.
00:34:11There's two things I wouldn't steal.
00:34:12Horses and honey.
00:34:13Sit down.
00:34:16Marshal, what's she saying got to do with him stealing my Appaloosa?
00:34:19She's a character witness.
00:34:21What we need here is a miracle witness.
00:34:24Order to court.
00:34:27Your Honor, may I approach the bench?
00:34:31That's what I call a good approach to the bench.
00:34:38Say what you have to say, ma'am.
00:34:40Well, Your Honor, I'd do just about anything to save Dusty's life.
00:34:47Marshal!
00:34:48If we're going to get on with hanging this fella,
00:34:50don't you go getting swayed by no painted lady.
00:34:54If we're going to get on with hanging this fella,
00:34:56don't you go getting swayed by no painted lady.
00:35:00She ain't no painted lady.
00:35:02She's my friend.
00:35:03And if you want to be swayed by my friend the painted lady,
00:35:05just go right ahead.
00:35:06Order!
00:35:08You can step down now, miss.
00:35:13Your Honor, I think it is time that I had a talk with you
00:35:17in the privacy of your chambers.
00:35:19I ain't got no chambers.
00:35:21Speak your mind.
00:35:22It's terribly personal.
00:35:24It concerns our...
00:35:25Are you offering me a bribe?
00:35:27A bribe?
00:35:28How dare you, sir?
00:35:29Well, if you are, you're wasting your money.
00:35:32I was merely willing to offer a very great deal of money
00:35:35to have you release this young man on bail permanently.
00:35:39Carter would never dream of bribing anyone.
00:35:42It still sounded like a bribe to me.
00:35:45Let me approach it in a different way.
00:35:48I am willing to pay a large amount of money to this young man here
00:35:52for the misappropriated horse,
00:35:54providing it spares Dusty's life.
00:35:56Thanks a lot, Mr. Brookhaven.
00:35:58The horse ain't for sale, mister.
00:36:00No matter how much money you got.
00:36:01Nonsense!
00:36:02Every man has his price.
00:36:04Women, too!
00:36:05Your Honor.
00:36:06Order in the court!
00:36:08Sit down, mister.
00:36:09You've had your piece.
00:36:10Has anybody else got anything to say before I pass judgment?
00:36:13I do.
00:36:15That man is guilty.
00:36:17Right.
00:36:18Oh, I mean he is guilty of making a simple mistake.
00:36:21If Dusty here had thought for a minute that horse belonged to somebody else,
00:36:24he'd have never claimed it for his own.
00:36:27You and I both know we all make stupid mistakes from time to time.
00:36:31I sure do.
00:36:32Just like he's doing now.
00:36:34Right.
00:36:35I should have been the one to find that brand, but I didn't.
00:36:38So it's my fault.
00:36:41And I'm asking you to hang me instead.
00:36:44You don't have to take my blame.
00:36:46Marshal, we found the accused sitting on my horse, not him.
00:36:49And that's a hard fact.
00:36:51Under the circumstances, I ain't got but one choice.
00:36:55And that's to find you, the defendant, guilty.
00:36:58Oh, no.
00:36:59Silence!
00:37:00Order in the court!
00:37:02I'm afraid we're going to have to hang you, son.
00:37:04What are you afraid about?
00:37:05I'm the one who's going to be hung.
00:37:07We'll hang him at sunup.
00:37:10It only gives me about 12 hours to fix that telegraph.
00:37:12What good's that going to do us now?
00:37:14There's a territorial court of appeals in Johnson City.
00:37:17If I can get the judge there to declare a mistrial,
00:37:19the marshal will have to free Dusty.
00:37:22Come on, let's shackle him up.
00:37:23Take him over there.
00:37:24Court's adjourned!
00:37:29Now, you can sleep in this tonight.
00:37:31Well, considering the hanging and everything,
00:37:33I don't like the shape of my bed.
00:37:34Well, this way nobody will have to keep guard,
00:37:37and everybody will get a good night's rest.
00:37:39Now, get in there.
00:37:41There's no way he's going to run away,
00:37:43chained to this fancy horse barrel.
00:37:50Andy, you go see if you can get that telegraph fixed.
00:37:53I got an idea that might give us the time we need.
00:37:56Right.
00:38:10Ah.
00:38:30Hey, Dusty boy.
00:38:34Dusty.
00:38:36Wait.
00:38:37I got the key.
00:38:38Hey, here.
00:38:40You unlock the other.
00:38:41You unlock that one.
00:38:42I gotta get my guns.
00:39:09You okay, Dusty?
00:39:10Yeah, I guess so.
00:39:11That handcuff was really tight.
00:39:12Shh, shh, shh.
00:39:13That handcuff really hurts when you got it on you.
00:39:15You'll wake up the marshal.
00:39:16You don't believe me.
00:39:17I'll show you.
00:39:18Look.
00:39:19Like that, see?
00:39:20It hurts, huh?
00:39:24I think the marshal's waking up.
00:39:25Oh, no.
00:39:26If he catches me out with my handcuff,
00:39:28I'm going to be killed before I get home.
00:39:33Oh, my God.
00:39:34Oh, my God.
00:39:35Oh, my God.
00:39:36Oh, my God.
00:39:37Oh, my God.
00:39:40No, it's all right.
00:39:41Go back to sleep again.
00:39:43Hey.
00:39:44Okay, take these off.
00:39:48I did give you the keys, didn't I?
00:39:50Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:39:51Yeah, good.
00:39:53But, uh...
00:39:54But what?
00:39:55But...
00:39:56I threw them away over there.
00:39:58You...
00:40:02If we get out of this,
00:40:03I may hand you myself.
00:40:05No.
00:40:06Huh?
00:40:37You folks know the penalty for aiding
00:40:39and abetting the escape of a horse thief?
00:40:42We didn't aid and abet anyone.
00:40:44Well, I would have if I could have.
00:40:46We would have if we could have,
00:40:48and we should have.
00:40:49That wagon master sprung him loose.
00:40:51Looks like when we catch up to him,
00:40:53we'll have a double necktie party.
00:40:55We'll have a double necktie party.
00:41:06Will you warn me when you're gonna stop?
00:41:08I'm sorry.
00:41:10Stop!
00:41:12Was that fast enough?
00:41:16Hey, Dusty, do you know where we are?
00:41:18Yeah, I sure do. Up the creek.
00:41:19No, no, this is the place you found that Appaloosa.
00:41:21Oh, no, let's get out of here.
00:41:22I don't want to find another one.
00:41:23I'll get hung twice.
00:41:24If we can find another set of hoof prints,
00:41:26it might lead us to the real horse thief.
00:41:28Yeah.
00:41:29We'll split up.
00:41:30We can cover more ground that way.
00:41:31Right.
00:41:32Good.
00:41:33Wait.
00:41:34No.
00:41:35We have got to find something
00:41:36to get these things off of us.
00:41:37Not a chance.
00:41:38These handcuffs are as solid as a rock.
00:41:41Well, keep looking at it.
00:41:43Okay.
00:41:46Can't see anything.
00:41:47Neither can I.
00:41:49Well, I guess we're still gonna be
00:41:50stuck together for the rest of our lives.
00:41:51I guess so.
00:41:52I...
00:41:54Hey.
00:41:55How'd you do that?
00:41:57How did I...
00:41:58How did I do that?
00:41:59Never mind, never mind.
00:42:01When we're old and sitting in rocking chairs,
00:42:03we'll figure it out.
00:42:04But we will never live to get old
00:42:06if we don't find that horse thief.
00:42:07I'll tell you what.
00:42:08You take that trail.
00:42:10I'll go down that way.
00:42:12If either one of us spot anything,
00:42:13we meet back here.
00:42:14All right?
00:42:15Yeah.
00:42:22Don't take them off, young fellow.
00:42:23Some folks like to die with their boots on.
00:42:26Not me.
00:42:28Please reconsider what you're doing.
00:42:31Hey, hold it hanging.
00:42:32Hold it hanging.
00:42:33Here, here's your horse thief right here.
00:42:35It's Crazy Blue.
00:42:37Crazy Blue?
00:42:38That's the wild stallion that's been chasing
00:42:40horses off all over the territory.
00:42:42I thought he was dead.
00:42:43He's been around these parts for years.
00:42:45Yeah, well, he's driven some of your prized stock
00:42:47into a box canyon about four miles from here.
00:42:49He could have driven off that Appaloosa of yours, too.
00:42:51Oh, yeah?
00:42:52I suppose he could have.
00:42:54Well, now, I reckon we almost made a dumb mistake.
00:42:57You are free to go, Sonny.
00:42:59I know, I know.
00:43:04Mr. Callahan.
00:43:05Yeah?
00:43:06I don't know how to say thank you except thank you.
00:43:08Oh, that's all right, little pal.
00:43:09You'd have done anything in the world
00:43:10to save my neck, wouldn't you?
00:43:11I'd save your whole body.
00:43:22Hold it.
00:43:24Good.
00:43:26What's on your mind?
00:43:28The man we passed yesterday, he said there's
00:43:30a wagon train over here with some real pretty girls.
00:43:34We'd like to get friendly with them.
00:43:36Well, you can see there's no women at all
00:43:38on this wagon train here.
00:43:39No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:43:41No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:43:43No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:43:45No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:43:47No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:43:49There's no women at all on this wagon train here.
00:43:51We know you got girls here.
00:43:54We want to meet them.
00:43:56Or else.
00:43:57Or else what?
00:43:58Or else this.
00:44:03Understand?
00:44:04Yeah, now that you've explained it.
00:44:06Get their guns, McGurk.
00:44:07Right, Jake.
00:44:10All right, I'll just take these.
00:44:14Now, we'll get some Brandon to do,
00:44:16but we'll be back before sundown.
00:44:18Now, Brandon, how many head of cattle you got, McGurk?
00:44:20Well, that depends on how many we can steal.
00:44:23I'll just take this shotgun here, too.
00:44:25Oh, there's another one hidden under the seat, Jake.
00:44:28Now, you just be worrying about sundown.
00:44:30Make sure those women are friendly.
00:44:32Here.
00:44:36Now, he shattered it.
00:44:37Him.
00:44:38Without even aiming.
00:44:39See you before sundown.
00:44:40Bam, bam, bam, bam.
00:44:41Coxy!
00:44:42Bam!
00:44:43Now, stop that.
00:44:45That's the only one in real trouble.
00:44:47Got to be some way out of this.
00:44:49I got a way.
00:44:50Let's run.
00:44:51Dusty.
00:44:52Now, Dusty may be right, Mr. Callahan.
00:44:53We've got that spare wheel in the wagon,
00:44:55and they said they won't be back before sundown.
00:44:57Now, you're right.
00:44:58All right, let's get her on and get rolling.
00:45:00You go round up the others
00:45:01and get them back here as fast as you can.
00:45:03Right.
00:45:04As soon as I tell them about Jake and McGurk,
00:45:05they'll come running.
00:45:08Now, listen.
00:45:09You go get them and get them back here,
00:45:10but don't say a word.
00:45:11You'll only scare them.
00:45:12Yeah, and what they don't know won't hurt them.
00:45:13Understand?
00:45:14Sure.
00:45:15Right now, I'm scared to death.
00:45:16Don't worry, Mr. Callahan.
00:45:17I won't be the word to them.
00:45:25Betsy, Lulu.
00:45:26We've got to get back to camp.
00:45:27Hurry.
00:45:28What's the hurry?
00:45:29I can't tell you.
00:45:30Well, why can't you tell us?
00:45:31I can't tell you why I can't tell you
00:45:32because that would be telling.
00:45:33Well, we've got to get started real quick
00:45:34before it's too late.
00:45:35Too late for what?
00:45:36It's too late for us.
00:45:37Look, don't ask me anything more.
00:45:39I can't tell you about McGurk and Jake
00:45:40and the danger and the cattle thieves.
00:45:42Well, who are McGurk and Jake?
00:45:44What danger?
00:45:45What cattle thieves?
00:45:46Tafty, you're not making sense.
00:45:48I know.
00:45:49I'll see you back at camp.
00:45:53Ready for the pheasant hunt, my dear?
00:45:55Ready when you are, Carter.
00:45:57Then tally-ho!
00:46:04Here, pheasant, pheasant, pheasant!
00:46:07One more time, dear.
00:46:09I think you interest him.
00:46:15Mr. and Mrs. Brookhaven, come on, hurry.
00:46:17Hurry?
00:46:18Where?
00:46:19Mr. Callaghan wants everybody back at the wagons
00:46:20and packed up right away.
00:46:21It's important.
00:46:22What could be more important than pheasant under glass?
00:46:25Us, underground.
00:46:26Underground?
00:46:27What are you talking about?
00:46:29I can't tell you because I can't see.
00:46:31I can't see.
00:46:32I can't see.
00:46:33I can't see.
00:46:34What are you talking about?
00:46:35I can't tell you because if I tell you what I'm not supposed to tell you,
00:46:37you'll only get scared.
00:46:39Scared?
00:46:40Scared of what?
00:46:41I can't tell you about the danger.
00:46:42What danger?
00:46:43Well, there's Jake and McGurk and the women and...
00:46:45Bam, bam, bam, bam!
00:46:46I'll see you back at camp.
00:46:47And hurry!
00:46:54Let's hope that axle holds up till we get to the next town.
00:46:56Yeah, I hope so.
00:46:57Let's get this wagon loaded.
00:46:58I want to get out of here pronto.
00:46:59I did it, Mr. Callaghan.
00:47:00They're all coming.
00:47:01And you didn't tell anybody why?
00:47:02Not a hint.
00:47:03I promised, didn't I?
00:47:04Mr. Callaghan!
00:47:05Mr. Callaghan, why are we leaving?
00:47:08And who are Jake and McGurk?
00:47:09And what's this about cattle thieves in danger?
00:47:11And what is bam, bam, bam, bam?
00:47:14Not even a hint, huh?
00:47:15Well, maybe a little teeny one.
00:47:17I demand to know what is going on.
00:47:19All right, hold it, hold it, everybody.
00:47:21There's two cattle thieves named Jake and McGurk.
00:47:23They came riding in here demanding our women.
00:47:26We tried to put them off, but they got our guns.
00:47:28They're going to be back by sundown looking for these women,
00:47:30and I want this wagon train packed and rolling before then.
00:47:33I'll be packed in one second.
00:47:35Oh, me too.
00:47:36What about the pheasants?
00:47:37Blast the pheasants.
00:47:38They can pack for themselves.
00:47:40Best he get the horses.
00:47:41Right away, sir.
00:47:42All right, let's get this thing going here.
00:47:45Come on, you guys.
00:47:46We've got to get out of here.
00:47:47There's a lot of danger.
00:47:48We've got to get back to the wagon.
00:47:49We've got to take you guys down there.
00:47:50Jake and McGurk's coming back before sundown.
00:47:52Come on.
00:47:53OK.
00:47:54Everybody, get ready.
00:47:55We've got to get going.
00:47:58Oh, no.
00:47:59Wait.
00:48:00Wait for me.
00:48:01No, you guys.
00:48:02Come on, you guys.
00:48:03Wait.
00:48:04Wait for me.
00:48:05You're on your own, Mr. Callaghan.
00:48:06So are we.
00:48:07Now, Dusty will be right here with the horses.
00:48:09Hey, Dusty, where are the horses?
00:48:11That's a good question.
00:48:12The only problem is there's four answers.
00:48:13Four answers?
00:48:14Yeah.
00:48:15North, south, east, and west.
00:48:16Oh.
00:48:17Take us all day to round those horses up.
00:48:18Looks like we're stuck here.
00:48:20What do you mean we're stuck here?
00:48:22With those men, too, before sundown?
00:48:24Mr. Callaghan, you are paid to defend us.
00:48:27We must simply protect our women.
00:48:29Poor Betsy and Lulu.
00:48:31What about me, Carter?
00:48:33I'm a woman, too.
00:48:35Of course you are my pet, but Betsy and Lulu are single,
00:48:39whereas you are married to me, your valiant knight, your protector.
00:48:44Oh, beautifully put, Carter.
00:48:47I thought so, too, dear.
00:48:49What are we going to do?
00:48:50Well, without our guns, our only chance is the element of surprise.
00:48:53We've got to take them unawares and overpower them.
00:48:55But how?
00:48:56Well, they're coming here for girls.
00:48:58Yeah, we'll give them girls.
00:49:00Nice, friendly girls.
00:49:03Okay, turn around.
00:49:04I want to see the back.
00:49:06You, too, Dusty.
00:49:11I went to my first dance in this dress, Dusty.
00:49:13Yeah, I bet you look better in it than I do.
00:49:15I feel silly.
00:49:16What kind of scout wears girls' clothes?
00:49:17A girl scout.
00:49:18Shut up and paint your lips.
00:49:25Carter, you're beautiful.
00:49:27Are we ready?
00:49:31Oh, your bloomers are slipping.
00:49:33I'll do it.
00:49:34I don't say to keep these things up without suspenders anyway.
00:49:36Hey, listen, I want you girls to stay in that wagon out of sight.
00:49:38You got that?
00:49:40You ready, Dolly?
00:49:42Ready, Kitty.
00:49:43Good luck.
00:49:44We know you're risking your lives for us.
00:49:46And our reputations.
00:49:49All right, come on, Dolly.
00:49:50We'll keep our dates waiting.
00:49:56Dusty, watch your dress.
00:49:57I can't help it.
00:49:58I'm always nervous on the first date.
00:49:59Relax.
00:50:00All you got to do is be sweet, get your guns away from them,
00:50:03and you just, you know, sit there and smile pretty.
00:50:07Like this?
00:50:10Lucky thing for us, they haven't seen a woman in a long time.
00:50:13You call that lucky?
00:50:20Well, what do we have here?
00:50:22Looks like we got us a couple of real cuties.
00:50:29Hey, baby, you can call me McGurk.
00:50:31No, I'm Dolly.
00:50:32Oh, your beard tickles.
00:50:33I'm Kitty.
00:50:34Who are you, big boy?
00:50:36Jake.
00:50:37And I'm here to get pretty.
00:50:40Hey, you're a big girl, aren't you?
00:50:43Well, is that much more to get friendly with?
00:50:48I think you're mighty pretty, Dolly.
00:50:49Now come here.
00:50:50Oh, not so tight.
00:50:53Don't be so shy, Dolly.
00:50:54Remember, we're here to get friendly.
00:50:58Yes, I do, but how's a girl supposed to breathe?
00:51:01Let's show them how, huh, Kitty?
00:51:04You're wearing a gun.
00:51:06I always wear a gun.
00:51:08They frighten me so.
00:51:10Couldn't you just make an exception for me?
00:51:15Well, considering it's for you, I...
00:51:19Nasty.
00:51:22Yeah.
00:51:24Come here.
00:51:25All right, come on, Dolly.
00:51:26Look how good they're getting along.
00:51:27Well, look, let's talk for a second.
00:51:29What do you think of the weather?
00:51:31Oh, I think it's fine.
00:51:32You know, I haven't read any good books lately.
00:51:34Now, will you quit stalling?
00:51:35I'm getting mad.
00:51:37Now, don't do that.
00:51:38She's just shy.
00:51:40I'll talk to her.
00:51:42Don't be too long now, Kitty.
00:51:43I'm waiting.
00:51:46What's the matter?
00:51:47Are you crazy or something?
00:51:48You're supposed to be friendly.
00:51:49He's not my type.
00:51:50You don't have to marry him.
00:51:51You just got to get him away from his gun.
00:51:53Now, get back in there.
00:51:54Be friendly.
00:51:55OK.
00:51:56But I wish he'd shave.
00:51:57Don't you?
00:52:00Well, it's all straightened out now.
00:52:03Good.
00:52:04Now, come on, Dolphy.
00:52:05Oh, your gun is poking a hole in my corset.
00:52:09That's all.
00:52:10It's bothering you.
00:52:12Now, come here.
00:52:13Why don't we get over here?
00:52:15Why don't you just get over there?
00:52:19Yeah.
00:52:20Marry him.
00:52:24This is more like it.
00:52:26Yeah, well, let's just move over a little bit, huh?
00:52:29Now, wait, sweetheart.
00:52:30I just want to stroke your hair.
00:52:33Now, Dusty.
00:52:37Dusty.
00:52:41Oh, right there.
00:52:42Get him up.
00:52:43Get him up.
00:52:44Get him up.
00:52:45Get him up.
00:52:46Get him up.
00:52:48All right, you two.
00:52:50Nobody does this to us.
00:52:52Now, you're going to get it.
00:52:54You know, there for a while, I really started to like you.
00:53:03No, don't shoot.
00:53:05Here we are.
00:53:06Girls.
00:53:07It's real ones.
00:53:10Get him to the horses.
00:53:11Let's get out of here.
00:53:13You two just stay right where you are.
00:53:15Come on.
00:53:21Here.
00:53:23What happened?
00:53:24Yeah, everything was going great, but those cutthroats, they outsmarted us,
00:53:28and they've kidnapped Lulu and Betsy.
00:53:30Mr. Callahan, you promised us you were going to overpower them.
00:53:33We tried, Mr. Buckhaven.
00:53:35Yeah, we would have succeeded except for one thing.
00:53:37What was that?
00:53:38Me?
00:53:39Lulu and Betsy kidnapped by those ruffians.
00:53:42Absolutely barbaric.
00:53:44You know, Mr. Callahan, the way Jake and McGirt keep coming back here,
00:53:47I figure they must be camped somewhere nearby.
00:53:50Good thinking, Andy.
00:53:51Good thinking.
00:53:52Let's see if we can pick up their trail and track them down.
00:53:54Wipe off your mouth.
00:54:24Now sit down and relax.
00:54:28Please leave us alone.
00:54:30You'll never get away with this.
00:54:32Who's going to stop us?
00:54:34Friends in the dresses?
00:54:35You know, you're purlier than them other guys.
00:54:40I'm going to like you.
00:54:43Mom, please don't touch me.
00:54:45I'm a schoolteacher.
00:54:48Schoolteacher?
00:54:51I'd like to get some learning.
00:54:57We're glad you ladies happened to pay us a visit.
00:55:00I'm sure you are.
00:55:02This place is a mess.
00:55:04There's dust all over everything.
00:55:06So what?
00:55:07Well, we would never get friendly in a dirty place like this.
00:55:11Now would we, Betsy?
00:55:13Oh, no.
00:55:15There's dust all over the table.
00:55:19The table?
00:55:23Wait a minute.
00:55:24We asked you here to get friendly, not to clean.
00:55:27First things first.
00:55:29Here, now you dust the table.
00:55:31You sweep.
00:55:32Well, I ain't going to sweep.
00:55:34Do you want us to get friendly or don't you?
00:55:38Well, uh...
00:55:45That's more like it.
00:55:46Now you get all the corners, okay?
00:55:47Betsy, come over here.
00:55:48This window's filthy.
00:55:59How long do you think we can stall them?
00:56:01Till our friends come and save us.
00:56:03I just keep dusting until they get here.
00:56:05Oh, yeah.
00:56:07Keep a sharp lookout for any sign of a trail.
00:56:10Look for broken branches, anything.
00:56:12Yeah.
00:56:13I haven't seen anything like that.
00:56:14I want to keep finding if this is a petticoat like this.
00:56:19Hey, that's a woman's petticoat.
00:56:20Yeah, look.
00:56:21There's another one.
00:56:23Hey, Lulu.
00:56:24Yeah, she'd think of that.
00:56:26She must have torn these strips off to leave us a trail.
00:56:28All we got to do is follow them, lead us right to them.
00:56:30We better hope it's a short trail or a long petticoat.
00:56:33When we find them, we better have a plan.
00:56:34You're right, Andy.
00:56:35Yeah, without any guns, we got...
00:56:37Ah, wait a minute.
00:56:40Maybe, just maybe, yeah.
00:56:42Yeah, you and I will follow the trail.
00:56:43Dusty, you go get the Brookhavens.
00:56:45Yeah.
00:56:46Hey, wait.
00:56:47Now, get the bugle.
00:56:48Pots, pans, dishes, anything that'll make a lot of noise.
00:56:51Oh, and those firecrackers we're saving for the 4th of July.
00:56:54Coils of rope and all the sacks of flour that you can carry.
00:56:57All right, and hurry and catch up with us on the trail.
00:56:59What's all that stuff for?
00:57:00I'm going to call out the cavalry.
00:57:02The cavalry?
00:57:03Our cavalry.
00:57:04What cavalry?
00:57:05Our cavalry.
00:57:06Oh, that cavalry.
00:57:07Yes.
00:57:08Our cavalry?
00:57:09I'll explain it to you later.
00:57:10Let's go.
00:57:17Enough cleaning.
00:57:20Let's get to know each other a little better.
00:57:22Huh?
00:57:25Well, you certainly got to admit, the place looks a lot nicer.
00:57:28Yeah, all spick and span.
00:57:29All ready to get acquainted in here.
00:57:31Come on, Brook, sit down.
00:57:32Ah, just a moment.
00:57:34Ah, the place looks nice and clean, but you fellas don't.
00:57:38You mean now we have to wash?
00:57:40You mean just to get acquainted?
00:57:43Of course.
00:57:44After all, you are entertaining ladies.
00:57:48Here we are.
00:57:56You first.
00:57:58I don't believe this.
00:58:04Ah, don't forget your ears.
00:58:12Good.
00:58:13Now here's the soap.
00:58:14Soap?
00:58:16That does it.
00:58:17Now, quick, Stalin, or we'll have to get tough.
00:58:20What do you mean?
00:58:21He means we want to get chummy.
00:58:23That's what he means.
00:58:24Oh, you don't have to shout.
00:58:26I mean, all you have to do is say so.
00:58:28We were too busy cleaning.
00:58:30Now, you two sit down over here and start getting friendly.
00:58:39That's the place.
00:58:40I see their horses.
00:58:41Yeah.
00:58:43All right, bring those supplies up.
00:58:45When do we rush them?
00:58:46We can't.
00:58:47They got Lulu and Betsy down there.
00:58:48It's too dangerous.
00:58:49We got to scare them out.
00:58:50Mr. Callahan, where is your cavalry?
00:58:53We dragged these supplies for miles.
00:58:55And how many will there be for dinner?
00:58:57That is our cavalry.
00:58:59I beg your pardon?
00:59:00Follow me.
00:59:15I know a lovely spelling game.
00:59:17We prefer kissing games.
00:59:19Oh, I know a great kissing game.
00:59:22The two of you sit down.
00:59:24Yeah.
00:59:25And then close your eyes.
00:59:28And one of us will kiss you and you try and guess who it is.
00:59:31Won't that be fun?
00:59:32Well, let's start.
00:59:34Okay.
00:59:35Now, close your eyes.
00:59:37Tight.
00:59:46Now, no peeking.
00:59:49I'm waiting.
00:59:50Ready.
00:59:59Betsy.
01:00:01Lulu.
01:00:02No.
01:00:03Guess again.
01:00:05Lulu.
01:00:07Betsy.
01:00:09Wrong again.
01:00:16Now, you two get back in there.
01:00:18Sit down.
01:00:28Wait here.
01:00:58Now, listen, we got to move fast.
01:01:16Everybody remembers what they're supposed to do when I give the signal.
01:01:18Aye, aye, Captain.
01:01:19I sure hope this plan works.
01:01:21It's a splendid plan.
01:01:22I'm in the reserves, you know.
01:01:24Come, my dear.
01:01:25Attention.
01:01:27Forward march.
01:01:32Help.
01:01:35Help.
01:01:38Help.
01:01:39Ain't no use in screaming.
01:01:40There ain't nobody around for miles.
01:01:42Our friends are going to save us.
01:01:43They'll get you for this.
01:01:45Those two guys in the skirts.
01:01:49There ain't no use in struggling here.
01:01:52Hup, hup, hup, hup.
01:01:57Hey, you want to put that right on here.
01:02:00Here.
01:02:01You got the firecrackers ready?
01:02:02All ready.
01:02:03All right, Dusty.
01:02:04Come on, give us some.
01:02:13Charge.
01:02:21Cavalry.
01:02:22It can't be.
01:02:23There ain't no fort around here.
01:02:25Cavalry, Lulu.
01:02:27I always loved men in uniform.
01:02:36Where'd they come from?
01:02:41Get me out there, Jake.
01:02:42I don't know.
01:02:43I can't see a thing.
01:02:44They must be hiding.
01:02:45Come on out.
01:02:46We got you surrounded.
01:02:47I didn't get it.
01:03:06Come on or we'll blast out.
01:03:08Jake, let's give up.
01:03:10You better.
01:03:11It's the whole army.
01:03:13Shut up.
01:03:14We'll fight it out.
01:03:16Untie him, McGurk.
01:03:19Blast Dusty.
01:03:20You'll blast the girls.
01:03:23Ah.
01:03:38Don't mind standing.
01:03:40All right, McGurk.
01:03:42We're going out that front door.
01:03:43Just keep that girl in front of you.
01:03:45Right.
01:03:46Well, go on.
01:03:48You go.
01:03:49Get out that door.
01:03:51You always go first, so you go first.
01:03:53Not this time.
01:03:54It's your turn.
01:03:55I do it all the time.
01:03:56You go first.
01:03:57You go first now.
01:04:11Ah.
01:04:14Oh.
01:04:22You saved us.
01:04:30Hey, hold it.
01:04:31It's me, the green cow, Dusty.
01:04:32Don't hurt yourself.
01:04:34Dusty, Lulu, you all right?
01:04:38You.
01:04:39Fellas, we've really got to stop meeting this way, huh?
01:04:42You all right, Dusty boy?
01:04:43Oh, sure, Mr. Galahad.
01:04:45I'm just fine.
01:04:50Well, we don't have to worry about Jake and McGurk anymore.
01:04:53Sheriff tells me they're going to be locked up for a long time.
01:04:56That's great.
01:04:58You know something, Mr. Galahad?
01:05:00You really look tall and straight in that saddle today.
01:05:02Really?
01:05:03Yeah, and something else too.
01:05:04Looks like you lost a lot of weight, especially around your middle.
01:05:11Forgot to take my corset off, Dolly.
01:05:14Hey, wagons.
01:05:44Ooh.
01:06:05Saddle burn wells.
01:06:07Pop, 114.
01:06:09I wonder how old Mom is.
01:06:23Well, I wonder where everybody is.
01:06:35Where is everyone?
01:06:37I don't know.
01:06:38It looks to me like we found ourselves a ghost town.
01:06:46I think one of them is trying to tell us something.
01:06:52A ghost town.
01:06:54Yeah.
01:06:55I don't like it.
01:06:57Got a feeling somebody's behind me breathing hot and heavy down my neck.
01:07:00There is, Galahad.
01:07:03Dusty!
01:07:04I told you to stay close, not that close.
01:07:06Hey, Mr. Galahad, you know, this place is in pretty good shape for a ghost town.
01:07:09I don't think we're as alone here as we think.
01:07:12You feel that too, huh?
01:07:15Feel what?
01:07:16Well, I got...
01:07:17Well, like somebody's watching us.
01:07:21Listen, I'll tell you what.
01:07:22You and Mr. Brookhaven scout the north side of the street.
01:07:24Dusty and I will take the south side.
01:07:26You ladies, you stay right here by this wagon.
01:07:28Look, if something scares you while we're away, you just fire a shot.
01:07:31We'll come running.
01:07:34What are you shooting at?
01:07:35Just testing.
01:07:37Look, listen.
01:07:39Wait till I tell you, huh?
01:07:40Come on.
01:08:01Hey, this town hasn't been deserted very long.
01:08:03Look at the blacksmith's forge.
01:08:04The coals are still hot.
01:08:07I don't see any horses.
01:08:09Oh, perhaps they all went off on a fox hunt.
01:08:12I don't know.
01:08:13There's something mysterious going on.
01:08:15Maybe the barbershop will tell us something.
01:08:18Do you want to come with me?
01:08:19No.
01:08:20Do you want to stay here?
01:08:21No.
01:08:22Where would you like to be?
01:08:23Back in Boston.
01:08:33I know someone's staring at us.
01:08:35I can just feel it.
01:08:37So can I.
01:08:38But then I kind of like being stared at.
01:08:41It does seem odd.
01:08:44Yet there's no one in town to do the staring.
01:08:47There's some clothes up there on the clothesline.
01:08:49Everybody must have left in a hurry.
01:08:51Yeah.
01:08:52They must have cleared out faster than the gold nugget saloon the night two-ton Tilly tried to do the belly dance.
01:08:59Hey, listen, Dusty.
01:09:01I don't want to scare the women, but I smell some trouble up ahead.
01:09:04Now, you stay close and cover my back, all right?
01:09:06OK, OK.
01:09:11Dusty.
01:09:14I said cover my back, not get glued to it.
01:09:18Now, come on.
01:09:19I want to check out that saloon up there.
01:09:29Hey, you see that?
01:09:33Maybe it's only the wind.
01:09:34Maybe somebody in there waiting for us.
01:09:36It's the wind.
01:09:37I'm sure it's the wind.
01:09:38I've never been so sure of anything my whole life that it's the wind.
01:09:39Why?
01:09:40Because I don't want to go in there and find out it's not the wind.
01:09:42Let's go.
01:09:43I'll go check out the saloon.
01:09:44I just remembered I'm a minor.
01:09:45I'm not allowed.
01:09:46All right, little pal.
01:09:47You stay out here.
01:09:48I'll check the saloon.
01:09:49You're not going to leave me out here in the street alone.
01:09:50Oh, no.
01:09:51I'll go in and check.
01:09:56What's the matter?
01:09:57What'd you see?
01:09:58The dance hall hostess.
01:09:59What?
01:10:00Dance hall hostess?
01:10:01Let's go talk to her.
01:10:02Me?
01:10:03She's the ugliest woman I've ever seen in my whole life.
01:10:04She's got a big nose, and her hair's going out of her head like horns,
01:10:05and her eyes are all glassy and beady and red, and her skin is all kind of...
01:10:11That's not a dance hall hostess.
01:10:12Look again.
01:10:16It's a moose head.
01:10:21Yeah, a moose head.
01:10:22I wonder how fast he was going when he hit that wall.
01:10:28Hey!
01:10:36What took you so long in the barber shop?
01:10:38I made an interesting discovery.
01:10:39Found a pair of boots, a pair of pants, and a pair of socks.
01:10:42Do you know what that means?
01:10:43Certainly.
01:10:44Some cowhand was having his legs shaved.
01:10:46It means that somebody left the shop in too much of a hurry to even dress.
01:10:50Judging by the quality of his trousers, I guess he rushed off to shoot his tailor.
01:10:54I've got a feeling it's all part of the same mystery.
01:10:56Let's go over to the newspaper office.
01:10:58Maybe the last edition of the paper will give us a clue.
01:11:00Good.
01:11:01Maybe they'll have a stock market report.
01:11:03Come along.
01:11:05It's so dark in here.
01:11:06I wish we had a lantern or something.
01:11:07Maybe there's something behind the bar.
01:11:09Well...
01:11:13Hey, I found a candle.
01:11:14Hey, good little pal.
01:11:16Here.
01:11:17Let me light it for you.
01:11:21Well, now we can see what's what.
01:11:23I can see the saloon and the tables and the gunpowder.
01:11:27What? Gunpowder?
01:11:30What? This whole bar is stacked with gunpowder.
01:11:33Why would a saloon be full of gunpowder?
01:11:35I don't know. Hold that candle down here so I can see.
01:11:37Hey, Dusty.
01:11:39That's not a candle.
01:11:40Sure it is. You just said it was. Why would you lie?
01:11:42No, no, that's not a...
01:11:43That is a stick of gunpowder.
01:11:46That's why you wouldn't lie, because it's a stick of gunpowder.
01:11:50What are we going to do with it?
01:11:51Throw it out the window.
01:11:52No, if I throw it out the window, I'll break the window.
01:11:54No, please, for Pete's sake, throw it out the window, Dusty.
01:12:03Dusty, get down!
01:12:12All right, you can get up now, little pal.
01:12:15I said, I said you can get up now, Dusty.
01:12:17What's the matter? Didn't you hear me?
01:12:18Didn't you hear me?
01:12:19Oh, you know how they say when you're going to die, your whole life passes right in front of you?
01:12:22Yeah.
01:12:23Mine was only half done. You know, it's really interesting.
01:12:27Hey, that sounds like a trouble signal. Let's go.
01:12:39Where is everybody here all right?
01:12:41So far, but I wouldn't count on our future.
01:12:43We found the reason the town people deserted.
01:12:45It's right here in this newspaper.
01:12:47I'll take one.
01:12:49Here, keep the change.
01:12:51What?
01:12:52Scholar brothers, outlaws. I never heard of them.
01:12:55It says here they're armed bank robbers and murderers.
01:12:58Perhaps they had an unpleasant childhood.
01:13:01Daphne sees good in everyone.
01:13:03Well, the scholars threatened to come back to town and kill everyone.
01:13:05They didn't give them all their money and their valuables.
01:13:07Yeah, it's plain as nose on your face just in case of blackmail.
01:13:10So, the whole lily-livered town took a powder.
01:13:13I think the townspeople were wise to run, especially the wealthy ones.
01:13:17And I happen to be a member of that club.
01:13:19Come along, Daphne.
01:13:20Now, wait a minute. Everybody just simmered down.
01:13:23By the way, I see it. They've already come and gone.
01:13:25They saw the town was empty and they just took off.
01:13:27Are you sure?
01:13:28I'm positive.
01:13:31Well, it's not absolute.
01:13:40The scholars are coming. The scholars are coming.
01:13:44The horses are running away.
01:13:45Now, now, Dusty's chasing them.
01:13:46No, no, Dusty's not chasing them. He's passing them.
01:13:50All right, you girls in the wagon. Come on, you may follow me.
01:14:04I thought you'd be halfway to California by now.
01:14:06I suddenly realized it was my job to help you protect everybody.
01:14:09Especially me.
01:14:10Mr. Callaghan, the scholars obviously believe that we are citizens of this town.
01:14:15Now, I think we should let them know that we're perfect strangers.
01:14:18I think they'd let us go.
01:14:21Yeah, with their record, I don't think they'd buy that.
01:14:23Nevertheless, I would like to inform them who we are.
01:14:26Oh, please, be my guest.
01:14:30I say out there, we are perfect strangers.
01:14:35Perfect strangers.
01:14:37We are perfect strangers.
01:14:44Well, I guess they figure nobody can be perfect, huh?
01:14:48Hey, wait. Come here.
01:14:49Didn't you see what just happened to Mr. Brookhaven?
01:14:51Well, yes, sir, but the scholars aren't animals.
01:14:53I'm sure they'd recognize the white flag of truce.
01:14:55What makes you think so?
01:14:57Well, it happens to be the code of the West.
01:14:58Yeah, the code of the West.
01:15:00Oh, definitely.
01:15:05Hey!
01:15:12Maybe the code of the East.
01:15:19The scholars haven't fired at us for quite a while.
01:15:22Maybe they're out of bullets.
01:15:25Somehow, I don't think so.
01:15:27Hey, Mr. Callaghan, one of the scholars is riding right for us.
01:15:36We got a visitor, but that ain't one of the scholars.
01:15:40Come on.
01:15:43Hey.
01:15:44A scarecrow.
01:15:46Hey, baby, hold on there now a minute.
01:15:48A dead scarecrow. Look at that knife.
01:15:51Yeah, it's holding a message.
01:15:53Oh, I hate the sight of blood, even if it's straw.
01:15:55We have the town surrounded.
01:15:57Fork over all your gold and stuff by sunup or we'll burn you out.
01:16:00They're bluffing, of course.
01:16:02And if you think we're bluffing, you're a bigger dummy than the one on the jackass.
01:16:11Well, we still got a problem, but at least we're safer in here than we are out on that street.
01:16:15Where do we go from here, Mr. Callaghan?
01:16:17We don't go anyplace. Too dangerous out there.
01:16:19Impossible. How can three men surround a town?
01:16:22Because they got a lot of guns.
01:16:24Besides, they got the only road out of here blocked.
01:16:26I do not believe those ruffians realize they are jeopardizing the lives of women.
01:16:30Mrs. Brookhaven, the Scona brothers do not care about women, men, children, pets, or anything else.
01:16:38Lulu, Betsy, I think it's time we stepped in.
01:16:42Atta girl, Mrs. V. I'm with you.
01:16:47Me too, Mrs. Brookhaven.
01:16:49Daphne, dear.
01:16:51Not now, Carter.
01:16:53Not now, Carter.
01:16:55Good heavens, just like a mother.
01:16:58Mrs. Brookhaven, as your wagon master, I cannot permit...
01:17:01Stand aside, Mr. Callaghan.
01:17:03Take my hand, girl.
01:17:05I think it's time we showed these men what women can do.
01:17:08Mrs. V., you've got more sin in your little craw than a Gila monster with a long neck.
01:17:13Wait a minute. Have you all lost your minds?
01:17:16I mean, those Scona brothers will show no mercy.
01:17:19They would never dare shoot a woman.
01:17:21Only a bounder or a cad would entertain such a notion.
01:17:25Well, I cannot...
01:17:28Hey, Daphne, Andy, come on.
01:17:37There were two bounders and a cad out there.
01:17:41I guess you'd better change.
01:17:45Daphne, cover up your pantaloons.
01:17:47If anyone should see you like that, we'll be drawn right out of the country club.
01:17:51Well, it's no use.
01:17:53They've got us covered so tight, it'd take an army to penetrate their position.
01:17:57Army, Andy.
01:17:59That's the answer.
01:18:00Yeah, army, that's the answer.
01:18:01But what is the question?
01:18:02Fort Hotchkiss.
01:18:03It's just over the hill there.
01:18:05If one of us could get up over those rocks, we could get some help.
01:18:08We can draw straws to see who goes.
01:18:09No, no, I'm the wagon master. I should be the one to do this.
01:18:11I still think we should draw straws.
01:18:13Straw...
01:18:14Oh, yeah, Andy.
01:18:16Straws, that's the answer.
01:18:17Yeah, straws, that's the answer, but I still don't know the question.
01:18:19No, I'll explain it.
01:18:24You look great, Mr. Callahan.
01:18:26Thank you, Dusty.
01:18:27By the time the Scullner brothers figure out you're not a scarecrow, you'll be on your way to Fort Hotchkiss.
01:18:31They'll never give me a second look.
01:18:33Neither will a crow.
01:18:38Only trouble is, this stuff makes you want to sneeze.
01:18:40Whatever you do, don't sneeze.
01:18:42No, if you sneeze, you're a dead man.
01:18:44All right, wish me luck.
01:18:46Luck, luck.
01:18:47Good thinking.
01:19:00Our wagon master is a very brave man.
01:19:03I'd say he's braver than that. I'd say he's a very, very brave man.
01:19:06To show my appreciation, in case Mr. Callahan is killed in this attempt to save our lives,
01:19:12I intend to raise his salary.
01:19:16Woo-wee! Ain't we gonna have us some fun?
01:19:19Them town folks is pinned down as cold as a dead carp in February.
01:19:23Ha! We're gonna get all their gold and burn them all down, too.
01:19:28Yeah, we is.
01:19:32Something's headed this way.
01:19:33Hey, save your bullets, Luke. It's only that old jackass we sent up.
01:19:37Them folks is so scared, they can't even hang onto a straw man on a swayback mule.
01:19:41Ha, ha, ha!
01:19:50What's the matter, little lady?
01:19:52Let's move on. Put one foot in front of the other there.
01:19:56That scarecrow looks a little different.
01:19:59If you ask me, it looks like his nose is grown to mine.
01:20:03Well, let's just see which one of us can shoot it flat again.
01:20:07Come on, let's...
01:20:09Let's...
01:20:11Ha!
01:20:12Hey, that ain't no scarecrow. That's a real dummy. Let him have it, boys.
01:20:21Blorney and good old Freckles.
01:20:23They came back and the rest of the horses followed them.
01:20:28Yeah, that ought to do it.
01:20:29That's a great idea, Mr. Callahan.
01:20:31Yeah, I've used that trick before. All that stuff on the wheels keep nice and quiet.
01:20:34We'll be able to sneak out of town real easy.
01:20:37Ha, ha, ha!
01:20:39Something wrong?
01:20:40Yeah, it sure feels funny looking at my bustle on a different caboose.
01:20:45Yeah, now we got those wagon wheels all silenced so all of you can get out of here without any trouble.
01:20:51All of us?
01:20:52Oh, Mr. Callahan, aren't you going with us?
01:20:54No, no, no. I got a plan. I'm going to stay here and keep those stoner boys busy.
01:20:58Oh, no, you're not.
01:20:59I'm your wagon master. I made up my mind.
01:21:03I can't let you do it. I can't let you face them alone.
01:21:05I highly agree with Dusty. Perhaps the lad should stay with you.
01:21:08No, no. Dusty has got to scout the trail, take care of the animals.
01:21:11Hang on. You know that big tall mountain over there, north-northwest?
01:21:14You head up right toward that.
01:21:15North by northwest.
01:21:16North-north, yeah.
01:21:17You're quite a guy, Cal.
01:21:19Now, when I open up a little saloon, I'm going to name a drink after you.
01:21:22Now, you just make sure it's a tall one and don't put in too much water.
01:21:26I've learned a lot from you, Callahan.
01:21:28You're a real wagon master.
01:21:30All right, all right.
01:21:31Mr. Callahan, I know we'll see you soon.
01:21:33Yeah, of course you will.
01:21:34Run along, baby.
01:21:35Mr. Callahan, all of Mr. Brookhaven's money couldn't pay you for what you're about to do.
01:21:40Oh, what you said.
01:21:42But you know, Mr. Callahan, he's quite right.
01:21:45Thank you, sir.
01:21:46Mr. Brookhaven, Mr. Brookhaven.
01:21:48Is there anything I can do to help you before I leave?
01:21:51Yeah.
01:21:52Why don't we see if all the weapons are loaded, huh?
01:21:54Yeah.
01:21:56Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
01:21:57Winchester, 44.
01:21:59Yes, sir.
01:22:00Winchester, 44.
01:22:01Yes, sir.
01:22:02Check.
01:22:03Single barrel.
01:22:05Check.
01:22:06Double barrel.
01:22:07Check.
01:22:11I'll get a bandage behind the bar for you.
01:22:13All right.
01:22:18Oh, no, Dusty.
01:22:24Well, it's all up to you now, Andy.
01:22:26I'm sorry, but, you know, there's nothing I...
01:22:28Well, you've done all you can.
01:22:30How did the accident happen?
01:22:32Well, uh...
01:22:33Oh, it's all my dumb fault.
01:22:35No, we got this one caught in the breach of that shotgun there.
01:22:38That wasn't a dumb thing.
01:22:39The real dumb thing was he...
01:22:40He had his hand on the bar like this, you know,
01:22:42and I went in to get a bandage,
01:22:43so I took the chinner top like that and went...
01:22:45Ow!
01:22:48Well, I'll tell you one thing,
01:22:50I'd just about sentence our hash.
01:22:52We've got to have faith, Mr. Callahan.
01:22:55There's got to be a way to stop the Skollner brothers.
01:22:58Yeah.
01:22:59Maybe if Bat Masterson rode into town, he's...
01:23:01Yeah, Bat Masterson could do it.
01:23:03He was a little guy like me.
01:23:04When those bad guys saw him with that cane,
01:23:05they ran for their lives.
01:23:10I'm way ahead of you, Cal.
01:23:11I'm gonna go get my makeup kit.
01:23:14Folks, meet Bat Masterson.
01:23:17Yeah, spitting image.
01:23:20There you go.
01:23:21One of Mr. Brookhaven's very best.
01:23:22Yeah.
01:23:24Listen.
01:23:27Are you sure I look enough like Bat Masterson
01:23:29to fool the Skollner brothers?
01:23:30Yeah, well, if you just look a little tougher, you know.
01:23:34Like you mean business.
01:23:37Yeah, now, now you get it.
01:23:39Come on.
01:23:40Ah, that's it, that's it.
01:23:41That's perfect, Dusty. Take a look.
01:23:46It's sun up, Mr. Callahan.
01:23:48Skollners will be heading this way any minute.
01:23:50All right, now you just go out there and face them,
01:23:52and if you got this figured right,
01:23:53there won't even be any gunplay.
01:23:55We'll have you covered from here as best we can.
01:24:00I guess this is it.
01:24:06Poor Dusty.
01:24:08We may never see him again.
01:24:09Yes, you will, honey.
01:24:12That's your closet.
01:24:17Here come the Skollners!
01:24:23Look out!
01:24:46Fire!
01:24:53Fire!
01:24:56Bat Masterson.
01:24:58What's Bat Masterson doing here?
01:25:00Let's go see.
01:25:11The Skollners have dismounted.
01:25:12They're coming after us.
01:25:13We better get ready to protect them.
01:25:22Let's go.
01:25:34That ain't Bat Masterson.
01:25:35He ain't twirled his cane yet.
01:25:52Bat Masterson.
01:25:53Let's go.
01:25:55No.
01:26:21That's Bat Masterson, all right.
01:26:23Give up, Bat.
01:26:24Hey, Andy!
01:26:25You hogtie them critters good and tight.
01:26:27Say, Dusty, that was a pretty good thing you done there with that cane.
01:26:31How'd you do that?
01:26:32Easy, Mr. Callahan.
01:26:33All I did was just take it like this,
01:26:34and I threw it in the air,
01:26:35and then I waited for it to come down.
01:26:44Good night, Mr. Callahan.
01:26:53THE END