Deck the Halls (2006) HD
Deck the Halls is a 2006 American Christmas comedy film directed by John Whitesell and starring Danny DeVito, Matthew Broderick, Kristin Davis, and Kristin Chenoweth.
In Cloverdale, Massachusetts, optometrist and self-proclaimed Christmas expert Steve Finch (Matthew Broderick) wants his family to have a great Christmas, filled with traditions such as using an Advent calendar, taking Christmas card pictures in matching sweaters, and buying a large tree.
In the middle of the night on December 1, new neighbors move in across the street: car salesman and electrical engineer Buddy Hall (Danny DeVito) and his trophy wife Tia.
From that moment a real war between neighbors begins...
In Cloverdale, Massachusetts, optometrist and self-proclaimed Christmas expert Steve Finch (Matthew Broderick) wants his family to have a great Christmas, filled with traditions such as using an Advent calendar, taking Christmas card pictures in matching sweaters, and buying a large tree.
In the middle of the night on December 1, new neighbors move in across the street: car salesman and electrical engineer Buddy Hall (Danny DeVito) and his trophy wife Tia.
From that moment a real war between neighbors begins...
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Better here? Or better here? Better here? Or better here? You don't want to be walking
00:00:22around blind at Christmas, Miss Ryer. Help me out.
00:00:25I don't need glasses. You need binoculars. We're settling for
00:00:29glasses. Better one? Glasses will make me look old.
00:00:42Try these.
00:00:53I look hot.
00:00:59Evening, Father Bruce. Hello, Dr. Finch. Hello, Miss Patterson.
00:01:04Hello, Dr. Finch.
00:01:13Dr. Finch! Ah, hello, Gustav, Goethe. I'd love to chat with you, but you know how
00:01:18focused Goethe gets on our runs.
00:01:22Seien Sie vorsichtig. Auf Wiedersehen. Auf Wiedersehen. You should maybe get that looked at.
00:01:29Start wearing some padding. Yes, well, I'm sure it's more fun your way, Arturo, but I
00:01:35need you to hang the decorations on the tree, not just chuck them up there and
00:01:38hope they stick. Hey, Steve. Mayor Young. What do you think? Looking good. Thank you.
00:01:43Is that an angel on top? Oh, it's supposed to be, but we couldn't find one
00:01:48big enough. But fortunately my wife has a porcelain doll collection, so she lent us
00:01:51her Marilyn Monroe. Nice touch. Well, it looks good. Yeah, don't go overboard with
00:01:56the lights, though. We don't want to seem tacky. Oh, whatever you say, Steve.
00:01:58Winterfest is your baby. Hey, hey, we got any big surprises this year? Come on, come
00:02:03on. Nobody keeps a secret better than me. For instance, I know for a fact Sheriff
00:02:09Dave is a cross-dresser. I never told a soul. I've never been told today.
00:02:52Hi, honey. I'm home. It's the raw quail eggs, isn't it? It's the texture, right? The
00:03:08grainy, slimy, milky. Can you taste the curry? Yeah, yeah. Gee, I sure hope there's
00:03:14more of that. You're such a bad liar. I knew it was awful. It's awful, right? Yeah. Who
00:03:23wants pizza? My life just isn't working out the way I thought it would. Excuse me? Oh,
00:03:31honey, you don't mean that. I'm ten. What have I really accomplished? Half season of
00:03:36soccer? Cleared legendary mode of Halo? A lackluster stint in the Cub Scouts? Hey, I
00:03:44guess what day it is. Come on, guess. Maddie? I don't know. I don't care. Wrong. It's December
00:03:541st. Time to break out the Christmas calendar. Yes, this is a busy time of year, so we have
00:04:05to have a game plan. Okay. December 3rd, we hang the wreath. You just get so intense about
00:04:14Christmas. I'm not intense. I'm just extremely organized. When you're talking about Christmas,
00:04:19Carolyn, you shouldn't have to use the term flanking maneuver. Look, I know it's only
00:04:24December 1st, but I have all the planning to do for the Winterfest. You have a cookbook to
00:04:29write. The kids have school. It all goes by so quickly. Before you know it, Christmas will be
00:04:34over. Yeah, but that doesn't mean that we have to plan every second. Look, my dad dragged me from
00:04:39one Air Force base to another. Christmas was not a priority for him. We didn't even have a tree.
00:04:45Well, I want things to be different for my kids. I want them to have big family traditions,
00:04:50year after year, that they can count on and look forward to. You're right.
00:04:57I'm going to try to be more supportive. Well, you should be.
00:05:00Madison is a loner. She has hardly any friends. Carter's a 10-year-old boy with a midlife crisis.
00:05:09Let's face it, our kids are a little weird. Well, I think this year they need Christmas
00:05:13more than ever. You're right. I'm sorry. You're right.
00:05:20Snowmen, eggnog, Carolyn, we're going to do it all, okay? Okay.
00:05:29And I don't write cookbooks. What? You always say that I write cookbooks, but I don't. I just
00:05:36edit other people's recipes, and then I compile them into cookbooks that nobody buys. Then write
00:05:41your own. Oh, great. So all the rejection would just be more personal? No, thank you.
00:05:45Well, I think you should. Really? Yeah, I think you could. Really? Sure.
00:05:51What is that? Is it a truck? I don't know.
00:06:10Oh, it looks like we have new neighbors.
00:06:12Who moves in the middle of the night? A meth lab?
00:06:17How bad could it be?
00:06:29Okay.
00:06:42Okay.
00:07:03Whoa, whoa, whoa. Take it easy. He's spazzing out on me. I look like I'm having a seizure.
00:07:08Oh, I got tasered once. It looked exactly like that, and I'm man enough to say I wet myself.
00:07:15Who are you? I'm Buddy Hall. We just moved in across the street. You don't happen to have a
00:07:21cat, do you? Uh, no. Oh, good, because I was moving in last night. I accidentally dropped a fridge on
00:07:26one. Thank God most of it got away. Buddy! Tia, come on over and meet the... What's your name?
00:07:33Steve Finch, but this isn't really a very good time. Come and meet Steve. Good morning. Oh, well,
00:07:40Steve, you have a way with the ladies. Oh, thank you. Kelly, this is Buddy. Hi. Nice to meet you.
00:07:48I measured, and the ceiling's too low in the bedroom. We're gonna have to get a shorter pole.
00:07:53Morning. Hi. Oh, what did you do? Try to steal your paper? No, I was just being neighborly.
00:08:00Leave you alone for five minutes. Looks like we got a visitor.
00:08:07Don't put the little guy away on my count.
00:08:12Tia, this is Kelly. Kelly, this is Tia. Hi. So nice to meet you. You too. You have kids, right? We do.
00:08:19Well, why don't you come on over, and we should talk about maybe starting a carpool or something.
00:08:23That sounds great. Welcome. Thank you. Bye. I can't believe you're making me do this.
00:08:37We're just gonna stop and say hello. Come on in. It's open.
00:08:42Hello. Oh, good. Oh, honey, could you come over here and give me a little boost? Oh, sure. Seriously,
00:08:49sweetie, I'm about to break my neck here. Just yank it up there. Yeah, just, yeah, a little bit
00:08:54harder. Got more up. There you go. Woo, that's one way to get acquainted, huh? Oh, uh, these are for
00:09:03you. Oh, thank you. Oh, I love blueberry. Right to the hip. And who do we have here? This is Madison.
00:09:14Say hello, Madison. Hello, Madison. She's 15. You know how they get. You're kidding me. 15?
00:09:21My girls are 15. Girls, get your butts down here. We've got company. Carter, Carter, you're staring.
00:09:31Oh, oh, sorry about that. I used to do a little modeling, mostly for art classes at the community
00:09:37college. That's how I met Buddy. Really? Was he an artist? Nah, they caught him peeking in through
00:09:43the windows. Bet that's such a sweet story. You know, I just got so tired of dating boys.
00:09:51No offense. Then one day I met Buddy and he just swept me right off my feet. Oh, there you are.
00:10:00These are my babies, Ashley and Emily. Hi, girls. Hi, hi. This is Madison and this is Carter.
00:10:08Hi. Oh, you know, you girls will probably be in a lot of the same classes. Great. Are there any
00:10:14hot guys? Uh, yeah, but you know, they're all enormous tools. Really? Kelly, thank you. That
00:10:23has been my family for years. Oh, it's beautiful. Well, it ought to be. It's worth more than this
00:10:27entire house put together. Let me just find a safe place for it and we'll see about getting
00:10:31these kids to school. Oh, you know, I can drop them all at school if you want to stay here and unpack.
00:10:35Really? Sure. You'd do that for me? Yeah, no problem. I'll just bring the car around while
00:10:40they get dressed. Oh, they are dressed. Trust me, this is more clothes than they've worn in months.
00:10:45Can I live here? Get in the car. You got a fake ID? Uh, no, no. Don't worry, we can make you one.
00:10:55Nice girls. You kidding me? I pray every day for the strength not to run over the both of them with
00:10:59a truck. Have a nice day. All right, listen up, you guys. We just got in a new shipment of Aspens
00:11:07and I want you to sell three for me by lunchtime. All right. Are you kidding? Hey, we got a new
00:11:12salesman, Buddy Hall, over here. Let's make him feel welcome. Come on, yeah? All right, all right,
00:11:17all right. Welcome aboard. Sell, sell, sell. All right.
00:11:27Oh, this is gonna be good. Oh, oh, Buddy. Hey, you, uh, you ready to sell some cars? Me? I'm a born car
00:11:35salesman, but I was thinking today that maybe I would just, uh, kind of ease into it, you know, get
00:11:40a feeling for the place. Yeah, well, um, well, you see that tire kicker right there? He's all yours.
00:11:46Hmm, I don't know. I, I, I got a thousand bucks says you can't sell him. Oh, let me in on that
00:11:52action. Yeah, let's just make it three. Three? Three Gs. All right, you guys are asking for it.
00:12:04There's one born every minute.
00:12:07Pretend this is genius. You can't let these new guys get into a rhythm.
00:12:13I'm telling you, boys, from this day forward, we own that guy. There we go. The brush off.
00:12:29We got you. Are you okay? You are the best version of that buzzer.
00:12:34Money on my desk by the end of the day. No checks.
00:12:38That's not possible. Mr. Murray owns the dealership.
00:12:47I just bought one of my own cars.
00:12:53And the worst part is I paid sticker.
00:13:03Hey, girls. Hey, dad.
00:13:08And sold the car the first five minutes.
00:13:22It's great. Yeah, buddy. Yeah, bud. I know. Don't you even you always do this. You start
00:13:43out great. You lose interest. And the next thing you know, I'm up to my neck in cardboard boxes.
00:13:48No, it's great. I'm a car salesman. Hey, that's a good job. It's a great job. Great job. Car
00:13:55salesman. Carpets. Copiers. Futons. It's all the same. I don't know. I just hoping that,
00:14:08you know, one day I do something big. Something important. Something monumental.
00:14:16You are. You're going to pay off our monumental debt.
00:14:21Buddy, you promised me. Oh, well, I keep my promise. Everything's gonna be great.
00:14:33Daddy, daddy, come look. We got something real cool. Oh, the honeys.
00:14:36Hey, dad. What do you got going here? It's my earth.
00:14:46My earth? You type in an address and you can see every house in the country from space.
00:14:51Really? Emily's already used it to track that like five hottest guys in school. Yeah, dad. Three
00:14:57of them live two blocks from here. Well, that's more math than you've done in years. Did it hurt?
00:15:02Loser. Easy. You can see every house from space? Yeah. Let's see.
00:15:14Where's our house? Oh, you can't see our house, but you can see the neighbors.
00:15:20My figures weren't visible. But it's trash.
00:15:27Space, huh?
00:15:39Of course, you can see the big house.
00:15:50Uh,
00:16:07see it from space.
00:16:11I'll light it up.
00:16:13Oh, okay. Not gonna be invisible anymore.
00:16:30Three o'clock in the morning. Unbelievable.
00:16:35Oh, man. Buddy? Buddy? Hey, Steve. Do you have any idea what time it is? What's the matter? All
00:16:53the clocks in your house busted? No, I know what time it is. Oh, what? You just needed an excuse
00:17:00to come over here in your underwear? No, no, I was being sarcastic. Oh, well, you gotta know that
00:17:06stuff like that just goes right over my head. Here, hold these things. I want to strand them out.
00:17:11I will not hold on to this. That's why I came over here. You're making all kinds of noise.
00:17:16Do you have any idea how bright your house is? Yeah, it's pretty damn bright. Look at that.
00:17:22Whoa. Oh, is that what's bothering you? The lights? Yes, that's right. Oh, I'm sorry.
00:17:30I didn't mean it. I'll turn them off. Thank you. Oh, thank you. Steve,
00:17:37are we gonna be friends? Because, you know, we just moved into the neighborhood and,
00:17:42boy, it would be bad if I ticked off the only guy I know. That would kill me. Well,
00:17:50maybe I overreacted a little bit. Yeah, you know, I can be a real jerk sometimes.
00:17:55Maybe we should just start completely over.
00:18:01Buddy hall, and you are? No, I didn't mean we should literally. I was
00:18:06speaking metaphorically. That's it. Sometimes my stupidity astounds me.
00:18:15Look, I got an idea. How about if you and I come up with a series of hand signals
00:18:22so I'll know when you're gonna talk weird? I'll see you tomorrow.
00:18:32This is gonna be good. Get that satellite image up that you had before.
00:18:37Go on. Here, honey, you sit here. Yeah, sit right there and watch.
00:18:41There's so many buttons. I'll do it. No. Okay, you do it. Where are you going?
00:18:46Stick around. I want you to see this. You still can't see it. You're gonna miss it.
00:18:51Sorry, Dad. What do you mean you can't see it? It's impossible. I put so many more lights on.
00:18:55You're gonna get it. You'll get it.
00:19:04I gotta go bigger.
00:19:14Oh, hi. Can you order me more of these? Sure. Yeah? Yeah. What's that?
00:19:21You're gonna love this.
00:19:27It's a horse-drawn sleigh. You don't see many of these around anymore. No, you don't. Nice.
00:19:37I'll take it. No. Come on. No. Why? Get away from me with that. What do you mean? I'm serious.
00:19:44I'll call child services. One look at that and they will put you away. Maddie, Maddie, we'll
00:19:49Maddie, Maddie, we always wear matching sweaters for the family Christmas car. Come on. It's all right.
00:19:56Oh, please. Look. Please. Are we ready? You see Mom's wearing hers. Okay, Mom's old and married.
00:20:09All right? She doesn't need the self-esteem. I still have something to live for. It's true.
00:20:14Madison's right. She's got her whole life ahead of her. It's more than I can say for some of us.
00:20:21Come on. He does this every year. He starts acting all depressed so people feel bad for him and buy
00:20:25him bigger presents. Hey, the new neighbors have reindeer. Reindeer? Wait. Wait. Wait.
00:20:34Hey, Steve. What do you think? Oh, my God. It's so cute. Where in the world did you find it?
00:20:41Eugenia down at the hardware store sold it to him. Isn't it beautiful? Oh, beautiful. Yes, and they
00:20:47had these horses. These horses. I especially like the way you've duct-taped the antlers to their
00:20:53heads. Yeah, well, apparently reindeer are not indigenous to the region. That sweater is really
00:20:59cool. Yeah. Is it Marc Jacobs? Oh, you know, I'm not sure. I have so many. It's kind of hard to
00:21:05keep track these days. Well, this has been fun. So let's go. Let's go take the picture, huh?
00:21:12Wait, what picture? Are you talking about your Christmas picture? You should take it here in
00:21:17the sled. That's a great idea. That's a horrible idea because we always take our picture in front
00:21:23of the fireplace. It's a tradition. Oh, wouldn't it be nice to try something new this year, honey?
00:21:27No, I don't think so. Here's a hat. No. Take the picture in the sled. Put the Santa suit on.
00:21:33Yes, no. You're going to take the picture in the sled. That's it. That's the way to do it.
00:21:38Carter, get out of that right now. Also, we should keep our voices down a little bit because
00:21:43I found these horses on the outskirts of town, and between you and me, they look a little skittish.
00:21:49You found these horses? Yeah. Carter, out of that death trap now. Okay, all right. Carter,
00:21:55let's go. Give me the right hand. Give me the right hand.
00:21:57Come on. Let go. Hold the reins. Hold on. Oh, my God. Oh, stop horses.
00:22:17Oh, that's not good. I need to steer this thing.
00:22:33Whoa. Out of the way. Out of the way. Oh, Mrs. Ryer.
00:23:03Oh, my. Santa. He's real. I knew it. I knew it.
00:23:33Oh, boy.
00:23:37Oh,
00:23:55no. He's coming, too. I think he's going to be all right.
00:24:00Where am I? We're in the back seat of your wife's car on the way to the hospital.
00:24:06You warming up? Yeah.
00:24:10Where are my clothes? You were freezing to death. We had to get you out of them.
00:24:19Where are your clothes? I had to get your body temperature up,
00:24:22so I stripped us both down and zipped us into this sleeping bag.
00:24:28Trust me, it works. I've done it a half a dozen times.
00:24:31Calm down. Calm down.
00:24:43The doctor said he probably saved your life. Which is only fair,
00:24:46since he's the one who almost got me killed in the first place.
00:24:50Oh, this used to be such a nice, quiet neighborhood. Look at it now.
00:24:54People driving by all night.
00:25:01You see that? You see that? I think he's tapping into our power.
00:25:05Yes. And in the process, he is stealing our very souls.
00:25:08Well, how do you think he's powering all those lights of his?
00:25:11Honey, I really think you're wrong about him. Look at what he dropped off.
00:25:15He knew he didn't get a chance to take a picture for a Christmas card,
00:25:17so look what he made from a picture he took at the hospital.
00:25:21That's you with the blue lips. Yeah.
00:25:24Yeah, and a cute little oxygen tube coming from your nose.
00:25:27Yeah, I picked up on that. Thanks.
00:25:30Come on now. That is a nice gesture, don't you think?
00:25:33Okay. Okay, yeah, maybe. I don't know. Maybe. I don't know.
00:25:39I think that we should take them with us to get the treat.
00:25:42No. Yes.
00:25:44Because I really like Tia. She's taken a real interest in my cookbooks,
00:25:48and you just need to find a way to get along with Buddy.
00:25:51Okay, but he's not touching any of my trees.
00:25:54Okay, fine. But they're coming with us.
00:25:55Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad.
00:26:00I was thinking, maybe you could take me Christmas shopping for Mom.
00:26:04We could go to the mall and wander around. Oh, and we can get hot chocolate.
00:26:08You know what? Already taken care of.
00:26:10You're getting her a really nice sweater that I ordered from a catalog.
00:26:13Oh. I guess that means we don't have to go to the mall together.
00:26:17Isn't that great? That place is an insane asylum this time of year.
00:26:28A little more power.
00:26:33Did you see that? Yeah.
00:26:35You did?
00:26:47Yeah.
00:27:05Come on, kids. Carter, come on.
00:27:09Oh, you guys have your own lodge. It's private.
00:27:12Yes, I know. Isn't it great? Steve's been working on it for years.
00:27:15Oh, nice. We love it.
00:27:17Oh, this is amazing, honey. Look.
00:27:21Wow. Whoa.
00:27:22It's a nice tree, honey. Nice. It's perfect.
00:27:27Twelve-foot silver noble. Yes, sir. This is the way God intended trees to look.
00:27:33What do you do? Chop them down or launch them?
00:27:37Laugh all you want. But I got the next five years of trees all lined up.
00:27:41And each one of them is perfect. No twisted trunks. No bald spots.
00:27:45Well, it's certainly a dandy tree. I'll give you that.
00:27:49Honeys, let's go. Yeah, dad.
00:27:51Let's find a really big one. Yeah.
00:27:53But it has to be pretty. Hey, the last ones to the car are losers.
00:28:03Please. It's not like it's a race. Give him the axe, Carter. No way he beats us.
00:28:07Honey, you said he could cut it down. Well, you can do it next year.
00:28:10Come on. Give me the axe. It's all right, sweetheart. Come on.
00:28:15What's the record? Wow, dad. You know,
00:28:17I think I wrote it down in my diary, but I must have forgot.
00:28:20Ha ha. Very funny. But we'll be halfway home by the time he...
00:28:32Does anyone smell gas? Well, it's probably me,
00:28:35but cut me some slack. I'm swinging pretty hard.
00:28:38Oh, my God. Sweetheart, do something.
00:28:50What? What happened? They're going to ruin the forest.
00:28:53What's happened? What's happening? Oh, no. It's got the fence, too.
00:28:57The trees. The little one. The little one.
00:29:09Fifteen years. Fifteen years I've been growing those trees.
00:29:15He obviously didn't mean to do it, honey. It was an accident.
00:29:19He did offer to cut you down a tree, dad. Pinches always have a silver noble tree.
00:29:24It's a tradition, and thank God they had one left. You get the tree, son.
00:29:31All right, here we go. Keep it up. That's a girl.
00:29:39I'm pretty sure you broke the record cutting this one down, dad.
00:29:46Better there? Better there.
00:29:51Better one? Better two.
00:29:56Hey. Hi, guys.
00:30:00Thanks for coming. Merry Christmas.
00:30:02Oh, honey, the girls are having so much fun showing everybody the lights.
00:30:09Pray to God that's all they're showing them. You coming out?
00:30:12I'm going to run a sequencer on the lights. Buddy.
00:30:14Synchronize it to the music. Are you deaf?
00:30:17These people are depending on me to give them something amazing,
00:30:20and that's just what I'm going to do. Is it me?
00:30:25It's probably a good idea to have a fire extinguisher around.
00:30:28You think?
00:30:35Oh, no. More lights now.
00:30:44Buddy. Buddy. Hey, what are you doing?
00:30:49Thanks, Steve. More lights?
00:30:50You're getting more lights? Yeah, yeah. Is that your shop across the street?
00:30:53This is wrong. No, all this has to go back. All this has to go back.
00:30:55Just the man I needed to see. What do you think of the tree for Winterfest?
00:30:58Well, actually, Steve, I was talking to Buddy here. I mean, after all, he is the expert.
00:31:04Come on. Would you have a look? Watch my stuff, Steve.
00:31:09Hey, folks, everything's free today. Anything you want. It's all free.
00:31:12I love the three-color strands of lights. The spacing is great.
00:31:16Thank you. Ornaments, well-dispersed.
00:31:19Oh, yes. I see you're using my bulb of choice, the C9.
00:31:25Yeah. Very nice.
00:31:26Yeah. That adds a lot of class to that tree. I love it.
00:31:30Really good. Thank you.
00:31:31He likes it. Hey, Steve.
00:31:34That is a tree. Yes, it is.
00:31:37Yeah. Listen, we need to get something straight. Around here, I'm the Christmas guy.
00:31:43Really? Yeah, yeah. It's kind of my thing.
00:31:48Chris has Memorial Day. Pete has the Fourth of July. But I have Christmas.
00:31:53But hey, hey, you can have Halloween. Yeah, good. Halloween?
00:31:56Yeah, sure, sure. A couple of pumpkins in the yard, a skeleton or two.
00:32:00You can jump out and scare people. It'll be great. What do you think?
00:32:03I don't think so. No?
00:32:05This WinFest thing, what is this all about? Oh, it's our annual Christmas carnival.
00:32:10Wow. Yeah, we have a show, games,
00:32:12ice sculpture, races. I happen to be the chairman. It's a pretty prestigious position.
00:32:18You have races? What kind of races? Yeah, speed skating.
00:32:20Speed skating? Speed skating.
00:32:22Right here. They actually put the ice down right here on Main Street.
00:32:25Oh, I used to do a little speed skating myself. Really? Well, so did I.
00:32:29Excuse me. Wallace Friskin.
00:32:33Buddy Hall. Sir.
00:32:35Meeting you is one of the great moments of my life.
00:32:38Well, thank you, Wallace. It's a pleasure to meet you.
00:32:41So anyway, how do you feel about the liberal use of mistletoe?
00:32:45Well, I feel that you should go sparingly around the threshold
00:32:50because that's a cliche. Please, please.
00:32:55My mission is clear. Wallace, thank you.
00:32:57Good luck. Would you take this inside for me?
00:33:00Steve. Oh, Steve.
00:33:03I guess I'm the new Christmas guy. That's okay.
00:33:09You can take toe jam day. This isn't over yet.
00:33:14We're just getting started. I'm the Christmas guy.
00:33:17I'm the Christmas guy.
00:33:22Honey, Tia just gave me a great idea. I'm going to write my own cookbook.
00:33:29That's my girl. Tia gave you the idea.
00:33:31I've been telling you to do that for years. You know what?
00:33:34It should be a cookbook for real moms who cook for real families.
00:33:39Yes. And I have the title for you.
00:33:43Food Food with Kelly Finch.
00:33:45I love it. Dad, there's about 50 singing dorks
00:33:49waiting for you in the front yard. 50. Isn't that great?
00:33:53You know what? You are going to help me write the cookbook.
00:34:00Okay. Yes.
00:34:01Be happy to. Yay.
00:34:08Oh, where are your clothes? Calm down, dad. I have a jacket.
00:34:11Well, keep it zipped. So where are the twins?
00:34:15They'll be over just as soon as the boys get here.
00:34:17Boys? Boys? Madison is not allowed to date.
00:34:20Honey, don't worry. It's a one-time thing. They ship out next week.
00:34:23They're in the Navy? Bye, dad.
00:34:27Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.
00:34:34Thank you for coming. Thank you for braving the insanity.
00:34:39I have the songbooks here, so let's pass them along.
00:34:42Haben Sie Kinderbrunnschwager?
00:34:46Oh, yes. Do you have... There's an acorn in my stocking.
00:34:49Haben Sie die Hofenstein?
00:34:52Oh, yes. Do you have the ignorant snowman?
00:34:54I don't... I don't think I do. Hey, there's a news crew over at the halls.
00:34:58Yeah, it really is quite a spectacle. Anyway, I thought that we would start with
00:35:03one of my very favorites, the holly in the isle.
00:35:07Bitch, right?
00:35:08Oh, it's pretty. Ah, hi. Have a good time. Same way.
00:35:12Sorry. Hey, dad.
00:35:15Thanks for coming.
00:35:23I love that song.
00:35:25No, wait. Wait. Come back. Come back here.
00:35:28Come back here. We're not done with rehearsal.
00:35:30Come back. We're not... We're going caroling. It's a tradition, everybody.
00:35:35Honey, you!
00:35:38I'm not going anywhere.
00:35:41Where are the kids?
00:35:44Oh, look. They're going to be making kissing unseo.
00:35:48Yeah, kissing unseo.
00:35:50Well, hello there. We're from Channel 8 News, and we would love to have an interview.
00:35:54They get.
00:35:55Hi. I'm just very happy that everyone likes the lights.
00:36:00Oh, yeah.
00:36:02Yes, indeed. Obviously, you have put an awful lot of work into this.
00:36:06Oh, yeah. And I'm nowhere near being finished.
00:36:08Oh, are you kidding me? Jesus.
00:36:13Christ the Lord is born this Christmas morn.
00:36:17Look at that. The lights have obviously brought out the Christmas spirit in everyone.
00:36:22Yeah. Yeah, they bring out the Christmas spirit in everybody.
00:36:27I'm really happy about that.
00:36:28Oh, gosh.
00:36:29I'm not going to stop until I have the biggest and brightest light display in the world.
00:36:37Oh, please.
00:36:39I also... I really want my house to be seen from space.
00:36:49Oh, my God.
00:36:52Outer space.
00:36:54Honey, wait, wait. What are you going to do?
00:36:57You heard him, didn't you?
00:36:58This is going to stop tonight.
00:37:00We'll see what Sheriff Dave has to say about this.
00:37:03Does anybody know who these RVs belong to? Anybody?
00:37:06Why? You want to make me an offer?
00:37:08No, I need to get out.
00:37:11Okay. Let's scoot on through.
00:37:15I don't know.
00:37:16I swear to God, if a man can't drive anymore,
00:37:18I'll tell you what, little buddy. You hold my beer. I'll do it for you.
00:37:21Okay, okay. I'll do it. I'll do it. Just guide me out.
00:37:25All right.
00:37:28Hey, you could probably use a few more lights on your house, don't you think?
00:37:33Look at that thing.
00:37:34All right. You ready?
00:37:36You sure?
00:37:37That's why I'm here, buddy. Don't worry. I'm watching you.
00:37:40I'm watching.
00:37:42A little bit to your right.
00:37:43No, no. Your other right.
00:37:45Yeah, come on.
00:37:46I can't see the other side at all.
00:37:48No, that's okay. I'm your eyes. I'm your eyes.
00:37:53Straight back.
00:37:54Doesn't look like enough room to me.
00:37:58Oh, God.
00:38:03Oh, boy.
00:38:12Ah, yeah. Oh, that's ugly.
00:38:15Okay. Okay. It's all right.
00:38:17At this point, it's like pulling off a Band-Aid.
00:38:19You got to just gun it. You know what I mean?
00:38:22Okay. You ready?
00:38:24One, two, gun it!
00:38:29Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
00:38:43Get out of the way, please.
00:38:44Excuse me.
00:38:45This is an active roadway, please.
00:38:48Oh, come on.
00:38:58Oh, yeah, yeah. The hall place.
00:39:16I take my kids by there every night after dinner.
00:39:18I tell you, it just keeps getting bigger and bigger.
00:39:20Yes. Well, that's why I want you to arrest him.
00:39:24Arrest him? On what charge?
00:39:26Light trespass.
00:39:27Light trespass?
00:39:28Uh-huh. Yes. Light trespass.
00:39:32When bright, uncontrolled light shines in neighboring property
00:39:36or windows is to cause a public nuisance.
00:39:39Well, I'm public, and I've been nuisanced.
00:39:44Well, I can't arrest a man for decoration.
00:39:46What are you looking at?
00:39:48What, this?
00:39:49No, no. I don't mind if you wear a bra.
00:39:53I, uh, looks like a nice one.
00:39:56It's a brace.
00:39:57My wife made it for me.
00:39:59I dislocated my shoulder.
00:40:00It keeps popping back out.
00:40:01Sure. What would you think?
00:40:05Do you think I was wearing a bra?
00:40:07No, no. That would be crazy.
00:40:11Now, as far as the lights are concerned,
00:40:14I'm saying it's Christmas,
00:40:16and you've got a lot on your mind with the Winterfest coming up,
00:40:19but if you want to file a complaint, I'll fill out the paperwork.
00:40:22I do. Thank you. I appreciate it.
00:40:24I will file a complaint.
00:40:26Now, uh, where is that form?
00:40:31Uh, yes.
00:40:32Ah, here we are.
00:40:37Dr. Finch?
00:40:42Yo, Sleighman.
00:40:45What happened? I woke up and you were gone.
00:40:48What are you doing out here?
00:40:51Honey, you've really been doing a lot of
00:40:55work. Yeah.
00:40:56That looks amazing.
00:41:03I guess the light thing is pretty stupid, isn't it?
00:41:06Oh, honey.
00:41:10Yeah, it is.
00:41:13Oh, come on. It's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
00:41:16You want our lights to be seen from space.
00:41:18Certifiable.
00:41:20I'll take them all down tomorrow.
00:41:22No, you touch one bulb on that house,
00:41:24and you've seen the last of my special holiday offers,
00:41:27and I think you know what I mean.
00:41:28You just said they look stupid.
00:41:30Yeah, it's crazy.
00:41:31But all good ideas are crazy.
00:41:35These are lights.
00:41:36Oh, come on.
00:41:39I think we both know what means more to you than just lights.
00:41:42I think we both know what means more to you than just lights.
00:41:49Who knows?
00:41:51Might turn out to be
00:41:55something monumental.
00:42:02I can always count on you, can't I?
00:42:05Sure.
00:42:11Oh, cow.
00:42:12Let's get one of those pancakes tomorrow.
00:42:14What is he up to now?
00:42:16Oh, he's bringing in animals for a live manger scene.
00:42:18Unbelievable.
00:42:20Is that a camel?
00:42:21Oh, look at that.
00:42:24Yep.
00:42:24Can't wait to bring my kids by.
00:42:26Well, if you want to make sure they see it,
00:42:28you better bring them tonight.
00:42:41Let's light this candle.
00:42:50What are you doing?
00:42:53Oh, I, uh...
00:42:55What are you doing up anyway?
00:42:57It's late.
00:42:57You should go to bed.
00:42:59Zip up your coat.
00:43:01You're gonna cut his power, aren't you?
00:43:05Need a lookout?
00:43:11Spongebob, this is Squarepants.
00:43:20The tiger is in the cage.
00:43:23Roger that, Squarepants.
00:43:26I'm going in.
00:43:27Roger.
00:43:37Ow!
00:43:38Stop!
00:43:39Ashley!
00:43:40Ouch!
00:43:41Got you!
00:43:43This is the best Christmas ever.
00:43:50Tiger's left the enclosure!
00:44:11What?
00:44:11What?
00:44:11What channel are you on?
00:44:13Hello?
00:44:14He's coming!
00:44:15Hide!
00:44:23Oh, good lord.
00:44:27That's disgusting.
00:44:31No, no, get away from me.
00:44:41We'll go before he comes back.
00:44:52Pardon me.
00:44:57Yeah, I oughta...
00:45:10Jackpot.
00:45:41Mission accomplished!
00:45:45Oh.
00:45:47Yeah.
00:45:49Yeah.
00:45:51Hi, hon.
00:45:53Couldn't sleep?
00:45:55What the hell are you doing over there?
00:45:57Oh, my god.
00:45:59You smell.
00:46:01Were you with the camels?
00:46:03I did it.
00:46:05I did it.
00:46:07The lights are off.
00:46:10Isn't it great?
00:46:12A little help, please?
00:46:14Sorry, Mom.
00:46:16It was his idea.
00:46:18Get him down, right now!
00:46:20All right, but...
00:46:22But tonight, when you're getting your best sleep in weeks,
00:46:24remember, I did it.
00:46:26The lights are off.
00:46:28The lights are finally...
00:46:30Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
00:46:32Now we're talking.
00:46:34Walking home from our house Christmas Eve.
00:46:36Did you see that?
00:46:38The lights went out.
00:46:40Yeah, yeah.
00:46:42We came right over to see if there was anything we could do to help.
00:46:44What's that noise?
00:46:46Oh, that?
00:46:48That's the Generac 3000.
00:46:50Liquid-cooled generator.
00:46:52Comes in really handy in a pinch like this, don't you think?
00:46:54Very handy.
00:46:56Well, everything seems to be in order here, honey.
00:46:58I think we should go to bed.
00:47:00Good night, buddy.
00:47:02Excuse me.
00:47:04Is that your son dangling from that telephone pole?
00:47:07We're having him tested.
00:47:09Oh.
00:47:11Well, good night.
00:47:13Thank you very much.
00:47:15We'll go get him right now.
00:47:17Coming, coming.
00:47:19Grandma!
00:47:33Bitch!
00:47:39Where's my paper?
00:47:41Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
00:47:43Kelly!
00:47:45He's messing with the wrong hombre.
00:47:48I'm making the call.
00:47:50Yeah, the Neighborhood Association is not going to stand by with this...
00:48:18What is it?
00:48:20How did this get here?
00:48:22Buddy.
00:48:24Really?
00:48:26Hey, Dad, what's that car doing in our driveway?
00:48:28It's beautiful.
00:48:30This is awesome.
00:48:32I call shotgun!
00:48:34If you don't like the color, we could change it out.
00:48:36Buddy?
00:48:38Buddy, the tree?
00:48:40A car?
00:48:42It's an amazingly generous gesture,
00:48:44but we can't possibly accept it.
00:48:47Oh, yeah, it's too much.
00:48:49Then again, we don't want to be rude.
00:48:51Steve.
00:48:53I drive a car with no doors.
00:48:55We live in Massachusetts.
00:48:57I could die.
00:48:59The car is yours.
00:49:01I'm not going to take no for an answer.
00:49:03After all I put you through, that's all there is to it.
00:49:05The keys are inside. Enjoy.
00:49:07Thank you so much.
00:49:09This is great.
00:49:11Enjoy.
00:49:13Thank you.
00:49:17I'll get the electrician to come by this morning
00:49:19and fix the fuse box.
00:49:21Yes, I think you better.
00:49:23I will.
00:49:47Guys?
00:49:49What happened?
00:49:51Vandals.
00:49:53They took a chainsaw to it last night.
00:49:55Stole the whole thing, decorations and all.
00:49:57Gee.
00:50:17He couldn't have.
00:50:19It can't be the same tree.
00:50:21Dr. Finch?
00:50:23This came for you from the car dealer.
00:50:25Oh, probably the documentation.
00:50:27They say you have to pay for the car by lunchtime.
00:50:29You're going to be arrested.
00:50:31Arrested?
00:50:33Arrested, but that car...
00:50:35Bob, do you want to see me?
00:50:37Yeah, hey, buddy, come on in here.
00:50:39Yes, grab a seat.
00:50:41Let me just...
00:50:43Send that important thing off.
00:50:45Look, I know you think I'm young
00:50:47and maybe a little inexperienced,
00:50:49but the truth is you don't get to where I am
00:50:51without knowing a thing or two
00:50:53about the art of selling cars.
00:50:55Actually, Bob, you got to where you are
00:50:57because your dad owns the business.
00:50:59Look, yeah, you know what?
00:51:01We're getting off-task here.
00:51:03It's not important.
00:51:05What's important here is this month's sales figures.
00:51:07They just came in.
00:51:09Bob, what are we doing here?
00:51:11I should be out there selling cars.
00:51:14Look, you're a great salesman.
00:51:16Everybody knows that, all right?
00:51:18Thank you.
00:51:20But the problem is your numbers are way down, buddy.
00:51:22You can't sell cars if you're never here.
00:51:24Hmm.
00:51:26Bob...
00:51:28It's the lights.
00:51:30The Christmas lights.
00:51:32You see, all my life,
00:51:34I've been looking for that.
00:51:36That one thing.
00:51:38That one important thing.
00:51:40And I've always quit
00:51:43I've always quit everything I started.
00:51:47I can't quit this, Bob.
00:51:49I got to finish this.
00:51:53Right.
00:51:55Well, if finishing those lights
00:51:57means more time away from work,
00:51:59then I can pretty much guarantee
00:52:01you're not going to have a jab
00:52:03to come back to when you're done.
00:52:05Duty calls.
00:52:07Hey, Steve!
00:52:09What is this?
00:52:11Hmm.
00:52:13Well, I don't have my x-ray goggles with me,
00:52:15but I'm guessing that's the bill
00:52:17to the new car you bought.
00:52:19I didn't buy a car.
00:52:21You gave me a car,
00:52:23and I know about the tree.
00:52:25Tree? What tree?
00:52:27I don't know about any tree.
00:52:29And unless they have film on it,
00:52:31you don't know about any tree.
00:52:33They don't have film on it, do they?
00:52:35You chopped down the town Christmas tree
00:52:37and stuck it in my living room,
00:52:40and if you would have looked at the bill,
00:52:42you would have noticed
00:52:44that I shaved my commission
00:52:46by almost a third,
00:52:48which in most circles
00:52:50is quite a substantial gift.
00:52:52Well, your gift is parked outside.
00:52:54Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve,
00:52:56you cannot walk away from your obligations.
00:52:58You signed the contract.
00:53:00I didn't sign anything.
00:53:02No, that's true.
00:53:04You didn't sign anything.
00:53:06I had to forge your signature.
00:53:09We are going to settle this like men.
00:53:11Who?
00:53:13I'm going to contact my attorney.
00:53:15Oh, you're going to contact your attorney.
00:53:17Is that the way you settle things like men?
00:53:19What's the matter, your mommy out of town?
00:53:21You want to go? Let's go outside right now.
00:53:23Come on, let's do it.
00:53:25I'm going to kick your ass.
00:53:27Take it easy, Jackie Chan.
00:53:29Relax.
00:53:31We're not barbarians.
00:53:33What do you want to do?
00:53:35Well,
00:53:37there's the little Winterfest coming up.
00:53:39And in the Winterfest,
00:53:41there is an ice skating race.
00:53:43Yeah.
00:53:45Yeah, great idea.
00:53:47Great idea.
00:53:49You win, I buy the car.
00:53:51I win, you take down the lights.
00:53:53Deal.
00:54:01Tree set.
00:54:04It's a beautiful car.
00:54:06It's fully loaded.
00:54:08You spared no expense.
00:54:30Keep your eye
00:54:33on the frozen ball.
00:54:35I'm going to knock the little hairs
00:54:37off that little Russian guy.
00:54:39I think you should do it.
00:54:41Little wooden man going down.
00:54:43Zing!
00:54:45All right.
00:54:47Come on, son.
00:54:49I'll show him how it's done.
00:54:51Hello, Steve.
00:54:53Give him five dollars, son.
00:54:55My dad's going to win.
00:54:57Watch and learn.
00:54:59Look at the two of them.
00:55:01Why can't they just be quiet
00:55:03and do it with a big smile on their face
00:55:05like normal neighbors?
00:55:19That mean man knocked down the old lady.
00:55:21He just winged her.
00:55:23That's going to swell up.
00:55:31Not too late
00:55:33to back out.
00:55:35Pinch.
00:55:37What are they doing now?
00:55:39This is just getting embarrassing.
00:55:41On your mark.
00:55:43Get set.
00:55:47They're acting like a bunch of 12-year-olds.
00:55:53Let's just...
00:55:55I can't.
00:56:01Buddy.
00:56:03You.
00:56:05Come on.
00:56:07Come with me.
00:56:09Come on.
00:56:11You two have tweaked my last nerve.
00:56:13She's right.
00:56:15This is crazy.
00:56:17I don't care if it takes all day.
00:56:19You're going to stand here
00:56:21and you're going to work it out.
00:56:23There's nothing to work out.
00:56:25You see?
00:56:27I told you you can't talk to a guy like this
00:56:30It's a waste of time.
00:56:32Ow.
00:56:34Why'd you hit me?
00:56:36I don't know. She started it.
00:56:38Don't be such babies.
00:56:40This is important to us.
00:56:42And it better be important to you too.
00:56:44Talk it out.
00:56:52I don't know what we're supposed to say.
00:56:54There is nothing in the universe
00:56:56that we can agree on.
00:56:58Okay, everybody.
00:57:00Now let's give a nice, warm Winterfest welcome
00:57:02to the Santa Baby.
00:57:08Now that is something we can agree on.
00:57:10I mean, that's got it going on.
00:57:12Look at that.
00:57:14Right?
00:57:16Well, you're a guy, right?
00:57:18Come on.
00:57:20Hey. Hey.
00:57:22Is it getting hot out here or is it just you girls?
00:57:24Oh, nice dip.
00:57:27Wow.
00:57:29Ow.
00:57:31Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
00:57:33Hey, baby, who's your daddy?
00:57:35Who's your daddy?
00:57:37Who's your daddy?
00:57:41Oh, God.
00:57:43I'm your daddy.
00:57:45I'm your daddy.
00:57:47Oh, God.
00:57:49My eyes.
00:57:51We're going to hell.
00:57:53You think I don't know that?
00:57:56You know, for one second,
00:57:58I let myself think you were a normal guy
00:58:00and this is what happened.
00:58:02You blame me for this?
00:58:04Who's your daddy?
00:58:06Who's your daddy?
00:58:08The annual Winterfest speed skating races
00:58:10will begin in five minutes.
00:58:12In the world of sport,
00:58:14it has no equal.
00:58:16Modern-day gladiators
00:58:18throwing caution to the wind,
00:58:20risking their very lives
00:58:22for a chance at immortality.
00:58:24Okay, so they're not risking their lives,
00:58:26but they are skating pretty fast
00:58:28and it's really cool.
00:58:30It's Winterfest's ninth annual
00:58:32speed skating race.
00:58:34Is that everybody?
00:58:36Uh, no?
00:58:38Looks like somebody got cold feet.
00:58:40Let's start the race.
00:58:42Wait.
00:58:44Wait.
00:58:46Wait.
00:58:48Oh.
00:58:50Oh.
00:58:53Oh.
00:58:55Very nice. Very nice suit.
00:58:57Looks like you're smuggling
00:58:59a couple of chicken nuggets up there.
00:59:01It's a skin suit.
00:59:03I raced in college.
00:59:05Go, Dad!
00:59:07Thank you, Carter.
00:59:09Dad, Dad, he's our man.
00:59:11If he can't do it, nobody can.
00:59:13On your mark.
00:59:15Get set.
00:59:17Go!
00:59:19Oh!
00:59:22Vince is down.
00:59:24And he looks bad.
00:59:26Wait.
00:59:28He's back up.
00:59:30He's on his feet and he's skating fast,
00:59:32but he's got a lot of ice to catch up.
00:59:34Oh!
00:59:36And into the first turn,
00:59:38it's Buddy Hall,
00:59:40Gustav, and Gerda.
00:59:42Vince really appears to be struggling
00:59:44as he rounds turn two
00:59:46and heads for the straightaways.
00:59:48Wait. Mayor Eugene Young
00:59:50Whoa!
00:59:52Oh!
00:59:54They're going the wrong way!
00:59:56Gustav and Gerda
00:59:58make their move on Buddy
01:00:00in turn number three,
01:00:02and they've taken the lead.
01:00:04Buddy Hall seems to be running out of gas.
01:00:06The crowd urges him on,
01:00:08but it may not be his day.
01:00:10Wrong way.
01:00:12Vince slips past Gustav and Gerda
01:00:14and is really pouring it on.
01:00:16Oh!
01:00:19Vince has got to make
01:00:21his move now or else.
01:00:23Once again, he jumps the bails,
01:00:25almost taking out Buddy in the process,
01:00:27and miraculously, Steve Finch
01:00:29has taken the lead going into the final turn.
01:00:31Steve Finch
01:00:33has a huge lead.
01:00:37Nothing can stop him now.
01:00:39Oh!
01:00:41Vince descends sprawling.
01:00:43Oh, the carnage.
01:00:45He's Buddy Hall by a nose!
01:00:48Buddy Hall wins the race!
01:00:50Buddy Hall is our new champion!
01:01:00Thank you.
01:01:02I will be back
01:01:04with the payment booklet
01:01:06for your new car,
01:01:08Flash.
01:01:10Yeah, fine. Fine.
01:01:12But the last time I looked at the satellite pictures,
01:01:14I still couldn't see your house.
01:01:16Not a flicker.
01:01:18Not a blip.
01:01:20How's that feel, huh?
01:01:22How's it feel to be invisible?
01:01:24Huh?
01:01:32What?
01:01:34Okay, let's go over it.
01:01:36The LED lights, the grid,
01:01:38the wires, the shipping,
01:01:40the handling, everything,
01:01:42the whole ball of wax,
01:01:45how much?
01:01:47What?
01:01:49Are you serious?
01:01:51What is that, yen?
01:01:53Is that
01:01:55with the discount?
01:02:03Can you get it here overnight?
01:02:11Buddy! Buddy Hall!
01:02:13Hi, honey.
01:02:15This is a bad dream, right?
01:02:17I'm going to wake up and this won't be happening.
01:02:19No, no.
01:02:21I'm just going to take a couple of these branches off
01:02:23so that we can...
01:02:25I'm not talking about the trees.
01:02:27I'm talking about this.
01:02:29What's that?
01:02:31You know exactly what this is.
01:02:33This is the stand to my base.
01:02:35You pawned it, didn't you?
01:02:37You pawned my grandmother's base.
01:02:39Well, how am I supposed to afford a camel
01:02:42and a car salesman's salary?
01:02:44And then I went for a loan
01:02:46and if you don't have a job...
01:02:48You lost your job?
01:02:50Oh.
01:02:52That was a pretty awkward way
01:02:54for you to find that out.
01:02:56But don't worry about it.
01:02:58I can sell anything to anybody.
01:03:00Not me.
01:03:02Not anymore.
01:03:04Oh, honey, honey, honey,
01:03:06things are going to get better.
01:03:08When? I'm tired of waiting, buddy.
01:03:11Waiting for you to find the right job,
01:03:13the right town.
01:03:15Waiting for you to find that one true thing
01:03:17that makes you happy.
01:03:19I think this is it.
01:03:21You see, that's just the thing, buddy.
01:03:23I just thought you might wake up one day
01:03:25and see that it just might be me.
01:03:27That it just might be your family.
01:03:31You know what?
01:03:33I'm done.
01:03:35Oh, honey.
01:03:37Oh, come on.
01:03:39Oh, no.
01:03:41Oh, no, honey.
01:03:43Buddy Hall's Christmas wish
01:03:45is to make his house bright enough
01:03:47to be visible not just from miles around,
01:03:49but from space.
01:03:53Oh, um, right.
01:03:55When we heard about Mr. Hall's, um,
01:03:57quest, if you will,
01:03:59we decided to downlink images
01:04:01from his general area as often as possible.
01:04:03So I can show you if you'd like to take a look.
01:04:05Right.
01:04:08Nothing yet.
01:04:10Wow, thank you for that.
01:04:12This may be one Christmas wish
01:04:14even Santa can't grant.
01:04:16Hi, everybody.
01:04:18Thanks for coming.
01:04:20I'm really happy that you came tonight.
01:04:22I hope you enjoy these lights
01:04:24because I did them all for you
01:04:26and for my family
01:04:28and for my wonderful neighbors
01:04:30across the street.
01:04:32Thank you.
01:04:38Ooh
01:04:40Ooh
01:04:42Ooh
01:04:44Ooh
01:04:46Ooh
01:04:48Ooh
01:04:50Ooh
01:04:52Ooh
01:04:54Ooh
01:04:56Ooh
01:04:58Ooh
01:05:00Sing out
01:05:02Shout the joy
01:05:04Oh
01:05:07Oh
01:05:17Oh
01:05:23Oh
01:05:25Oh
01:05:27Oh
01:05:29Oh
01:05:31Oh
01:05:33Oh
01:05:35Run, run, Rudolph, Santa's gonna bring you to town
01:05:41Santa make him hurry, tell him you can take him to a town
01:05:47Run, run, Rudolph, he's whizzing like a merry-go-round
01:05:53Come on and have some fun, click, click, click
01:05:56Down to the chimney and we'll be singing
01:05:59Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho
01:06:05Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho
01:06:10Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho
01:06:14Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho
01:06:18Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho
01:06:22Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho
01:06:26Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho
01:06:30Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho
01:06:35Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho
01:06:40Ho, ho, ho, ho
01:06:43Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho
01:06:46Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho
01:06:53If you missed anything, this show is gonna be repeated
01:06:57every night on a loop until 4 A.M.
01:07:02Busty the Snowman was a jolly, happy soul
01:07:08With a corncob pipe and a button nose
01:07:11And two eyes made out of coal
01:07:14Busty the Snowman was a very, very happy soul
01:07:20I can't take it anymore.
01:07:22Well, me neither, but you've got to take some of the blame.
01:07:26You hear that?
01:07:27Yeah.
01:07:28You hear that? Let's get louder.
01:07:30You want to play rough? I can play rough.
01:07:32Steve, where are you going? Steve!
01:07:47I hear if someone's in the market for something with little...
01:07:50Pop, you're the guy.
01:07:53Maybe. Could be the guy.
01:07:57Depends on what you're looking for.
01:08:02Don't let the reindeer pajamas fool you, pal.
01:08:05I'm not playing around.
01:08:07I'm looking to do some serious damage.
01:08:09Yeah? Cool.
01:08:11Then you've come to the right place.
01:08:13Because I've got enough firepower back here for two wars.
01:08:20I've got Reapers, Crackle Dragons,
01:08:23Wagon Wheels, Throbbing Copperheads.
01:08:26Great. I'll take them all.
01:08:28What's this for, man?
01:08:30I'm going to shoot them at my neighbor's house
01:08:32and hopefully give them a heart attack.
01:08:35Cool.
01:08:36In that case, you need this.
01:08:49The Atomic Warlord.
01:08:50Wow.
01:08:54Good night, Steve.
01:08:57Good night, buddy.
01:09:00Good night, Steve.
01:09:03Good night, buddy.
01:09:13Not a creature was stirring...
01:09:16Not even a mouse.
01:09:18Not a creature we're stirring, not even a mouse.
01:09:30You want lights, buddy?
01:09:31You want lights?
01:09:32I'll show you lights.
01:09:33Whoo!
01:09:34Oh, yeah.
01:09:35Yeah, how do you like that?
01:09:36Yeah, sleep through that, buddy.
01:09:37Huh?
01:09:38Huh?
01:09:39Whoo!
01:09:40Yeah!
01:09:41How'd that feel, huh?
01:09:42Now you think they can see that from space, buddy?
01:09:43Yeah.
01:09:44Oh, yeah.
01:09:45Whoo!
01:09:46How does it feel to have your whole world exploding around you?
01:09:47Huh?
01:09:48Whoo!
01:09:49Whoo!
01:09:50Whoo!
01:09:51Whoo!
01:09:52Whoo!
01:09:53Whoo!
01:09:54Whoo!
01:09:55Whoo!
01:09:56Whoo!
01:09:57Whoo!
01:09:58Whoo!
01:09:59Whoo!
01:10:00Whoo!
01:10:01Whoo!
01:10:02Whoo!
01:10:03Whoo!
01:10:04Whoo!
01:10:05Whoo!
01:10:06Whoo!
01:10:07Whoo!
01:10:08Whoo!
01:10:09Whoo!
01:10:10Whoa, no!
01:10:11Oh, gosh!
01:10:12Oh!
01:10:14Steve?
01:10:16Where are you?
01:10:21What's happening?
01:10:27Honey?
01:10:30Ah.
01:10:33Whoa!
01:10:37Oh God, I really wish that hadn't happened
01:11:07Are you sure you've been watering that thing?
01:11:15It went up awfully fast
01:11:17Are you kidding me?
01:11:19Fire extinguisher
01:11:21Oh
01:11:33Yeah, yeah, faulty Christmas lights
01:11:35An underwater tree? What can I say? We're a cautionary tale
01:11:40So the fact that you apparently purchased an illegal grade military firework and set it off in your own home had nothing to do with it, huh?
01:11:49That could have been a contributing factor
01:11:52What about this?
01:11:55Never seen that before in my life
01:11:59You're getting to be a knot in my panties, mister
01:12:02A real knot
01:12:04Let's go
01:12:09Hey kids, what are you, uh...
01:12:13Where are you going? Huh?
01:12:17Hey, Madison
01:12:19What's going on? Kelly?
01:12:21Kelly, what are you doing?
01:12:22Trying to salvage at least part of this Christmas for the kids
01:12:25What? What? Wait, no, you're leaving?
01:12:27You're lea... Oh, come on, it's not that bad
01:12:30It's not that bad, most of the smoke damage was confined to the family room
01:12:33And on the bright side, hey, you always hated that wallpaper
01:12:37Now that high-pressure hoses have completely ripped it off the walls, we can...
01:12:40We're gonna go stay in the motel with Tia and the twins
01:12:42Oh, come on, Kelly, don't do that, don't let that, that jerk ruin our Christmas
01:12:46The only jerk ruining Christmas around here is you
01:12:48Me? Yeah
01:12:49Me, I'm trying to save Christmas
01:12:51Really? What is your favorite Christmas memory?
01:12:56Well, you know what it is
01:12:59I was seven years old, my dad and I moved to Alabama
01:13:02And on Christmas morning we woke up and sat on the kitchen floor
01:13:06Ate french fries and drank chocolate milk
01:13:08Yeah, exactly! It wasn't planned, it wasn't organized
01:13:12Nobody had to enter it into their Blackberry, it just happened
01:13:15But our family's so busy, we have to plan things out
01:13:17No, you, you are the busy one
01:13:20You said this year our kids needed Christmas more than ever? No
01:13:23What they need more than ever is you
01:13:26Carter wanted to go Christmas shopping with you
01:13:29And he wanted to cut down that tree with you
01:13:31And Madison, well...
01:13:33Madison's a teenage girl, so she just pretty much ignored you
01:13:36But if you'd been paying attention
01:13:38You would have seen that she just wants you to know that she's not a little girl anymore
01:13:41Yeah, yeah, well, that's a message I got pretty clear
01:13:44You just don't get it
01:13:46Christmas traditions are born in those little chocolate milk and french fry moments
01:13:51And you can't control it
01:13:53We don't fit in the tiny little boxes on your Christmas calendar
01:13:59Oh, don't
01:14:03What'll I eat?
01:14:05Wait, Kelly, don't! Wait!
01:14:08Beep, beep
01:14:13Whoa!
01:14:15Steve!
01:14:17What happened to your house? Did you have a fire?
01:14:19Wait, wait, are you trying to tell me you weren't even home last night?
01:14:22No!
01:14:24Tia and the girls went and stayed at a motel
01:14:26I spent all night throwing little pebbles at their window to try to get them to talk to me
01:14:30You missed the whole...
01:14:34Oh, that's nothing
01:14:35What is this?
01:14:36That's nothing, it's just like the kids probably left it out here last night
01:14:41It's just a wire that goes...
01:14:45Oh, I knew it! You've been stealing my power!
01:14:48Borrowing!
01:14:49Look, it's an extension cord, it goes both ways
01:14:52I was gonna shoot it right back to you after the holidays
01:14:54Okay, fine, fine, you win
01:14:56You win the skating, the lights, the trees
01:14:59You've been two steps ahead of me the whole time
01:15:01But you know what? You're still a screw-up
01:15:04And that doesn't change because you put some lights on the roof
01:15:10Hey, pal!
01:15:12You're gonna be spending Christmas alone just like the rest of us screw-ups
01:15:16How do you like that?
01:15:46And the loads and loads of friends we'll make
01:15:49Wonderful friends
01:15:52But the main thing, Tootie, is that we're all going to be together
01:15:55Just like we've always been
01:15:58That's what really counts
01:16:00We could be happy anywhere as long as we're together
01:16:16Um...
01:16:41Um...
01:16:44I see you're taking down all the lights
01:16:48Oh, you noticed?
01:16:51What are you, some kind of genius?
01:16:53Apparently not
01:16:58I can't do it, buddy
01:17:01I can't spend Christmas without them
01:17:07Tell me about it
01:17:09This is awful
01:17:12It's killing me
01:17:15Hey, you know Tia
01:17:18She's so stubborn
01:17:20She won't even talk to me
01:17:25I tried everything
01:17:31Maybe not everything
01:17:42Girls, come over here
01:17:44Help us decorate the tree
01:17:46Mom, you're hanging booze from the minibar
01:17:49On a branch that you got out of the bumper of a car
01:17:52Pardon me for not being in the Christmas spirit
01:17:55We're trying to make the best of it, honey
01:17:57Yeah, you girls put those books down and get your butts over here
01:18:00Are you reading?
01:18:02Emily Dickinson
01:18:04Madison gave it to us
01:18:06It's really good
01:18:08Yeah, and it's not giving me a headache or anything
01:18:10Maybe I should go to law school or something
01:18:16Hey, Mom, look
01:18:19Carter, get back here
01:18:22Carter, get back here, you little fart
01:18:31Mom, you won't believe this, you guys have to come
01:18:35Carter?
01:18:37It's like a path, let's see where it goes
01:18:41Oh, my
01:18:44It's just unbelievable
01:18:46What do you think, sweetie?
01:18:48Mom, look at this one, it's beautiful
01:18:59Wow, this is amazing
01:19:04Take a picture
01:19:06Take a picture
01:19:11I can't believe it
01:19:15I can't believe it
01:19:18Oh, my God
01:19:34Mom, all these lights were Dad's lights
01:19:38I begged you to let me do the yams
01:19:40I could tell right away you had no feeling for starches
01:19:43Your three-bean salad is very bad
01:19:45What did you expect me to do, the three-bean salad and the fiesta corn?
01:19:51We thought maybe you'd be hungry
01:19:55Dear Lord
01:19:56You thought some lights and a TV dinner would make up for all the crap that I have...
01:20:06Is that what I think it is?
01:20:08We didn't have time to do a turkey
01:20:10So we made a few things from your new cookbook
01:20:16I got you this little pre-Christmas gift
01:20:33I missed you so much
01:20:36Oh, gosh, how did you afford it?
01:20:38How did you ever afford it?
01:20:40Now, let's just say we're not going to use our credit cards
01:20:43Let's just say we're not going to use our credit cards for the rest of our lives
01:20:51You've been busy
01:20:53Kelly, I'm so sorry
01:20:55It's just everything got so...
01:20:57You go along thinking you're doing all the right things for all the right reasons
01:21:01And then one day you blow up your house
01:21:04And it occurs to you that somewhere along the way
01:21:07Things got out of hand
01:21:09It just seemed like your whole life had gotten so loud
01:21:12That the only thing you were going to hear was an empty house
01:21:15You're right
01:21:17You're right
01:21:19And you were right to leave
01:21:21You were, I understand
01:21:23You all were
01:21:24You were all right to leave
01:21:26And I'm so glad you're back
01:21:33So I can date now?
01:21:35Sailors during wartime? No
01:21:37But you are growing up, so I guess I have to get used to that
01:21:44Mr. Hall, you took down all your lights
01:21:46Yeah, I thought it would be better
01:21:48Yeah, I bet it would have worked
01:21:50Yeah, it might have
01:21:51Yeah, I bet they could have seen our house from space
01:21:53We'll never know
01:21:56Then again, maybe you will
01:22:08Beep, beep, beep
01:22:10Whoa!
01:22:12Oh, my
01:22:14Look, I'm sorry
01:22:17Uh, you'll have to go home
01:22:21There are no lights tonight
01:22:23Nope, but there will be
01:22:26Buddy, what's happening?
01:22:28I don't know
01:22:29I told them Buddy was a little short on lights
01:22:31And maybe they'd like to come and help out
01:22:33How many people did you call?
01:22:35You have no idea how bad the eyesight is in this town
01:22:38MTV is sending someone down to do a story on Buddy's lights
01:22:42They don't know he took them down
01:22:44Which is why we better put them back up
01:22:46Well, you're just going to stand there?
01:22:48You're going to help me do this thing?
01:22:50Let's go
01:23:05Hi, girls
01:23:13Oh, it's me
01:23:14Oh, it's us
01:23:20Hey, keep those truck lights on, too
01:23:22Those are good, too
01:23:23Hey, thanks for coming
01:23:24It's really nice of you
01:23:26Beautiful, good to see you
01:23:30Steve, you're doing an excellent job
01:23:32You've got a future in this
01:23:34Happy holidays, everyone
01:23:35Sujin Pak coming to you live from Cloverdale, Massachusetts
01:23:39where apparently the whole town has come out
01:23:41to see if Buddy Hall, a local car salesman, can achieve the impossible
01:23:46He's put up a Christmas light display in his front yard
01:23:48that can hopefully be seen from space
01:23:51Now, the folks at My Earth have been monitoring the situation live
01:23:54Guys, thanks so much for spending your holiday plans with us
01:23:58Oh, no, that's no trouble at all
01:23:59Actually, it's funny
01:24:00Basil's mum stopped by with a tin of biscuits
01:24:03We're just having a laugh
01:24:04Oh, good time, good time
01:24:07They're gonna do it!
01:24:08They're gonna turn on the lights!
01:24:10All right, it looks like the moment has finally arrived
01:24:13Come on, let's do this as a family
01:24:15Come on, put your hand on it
01:24:17Ready?
01:24:18All right, Buddy, everybody ready?
01:24:19Yeah
01:24:20On the count of three
01:24:21One, two, three
01:24:34People work so hard, they make me so disappointed
01:24:37I'm gonna go get some candles
01:24:40Oh, OK, all right
01:24:43I need light
01:25:04Want to borrow my phone?
01:25:10Oh, holy night
01:25:15The stars are brightly shining
01:25:20In the sight of our dear Saviour's birth
01:25:31Hey, Dad, wouldn't it be great if we could do this every Christmas?
01:25:36What do you think?
01:25:38Yeah, we could use some new traditions around here
01:25:42Buddy, I really like this town
01:25:46I think maybe you could ask for your job back and we could stay here
01:25:50Yeah, I like it, too
01:25:52You do?
01:25:53I'll get my job back
01:25:55I'll get my job back
01:26:01Hey, Steve, I know everything got really crazy
01:26:05But I just wanted you to know that when we first met, I wasn't lying
01:26:10I really did want to be your friend
01:26:12I know you did
01:26:14I should have let you
01:26:16It's Christmas, anything can happen
01:26:19Can we start over?
01:26:21Nice to meet you
01:26:23I'm Steve Fish, you are?
01:26:25Buddy Hall
01:26:27Merry Christmas, Buddy
01:26:28You, too, Steve
01:26:29Yeah
01:26:30Yeah
01:26:31Oh, night
01:26:37When Christ was born
01:26:41Oh, night
01:26:46Oh, holy night
01:26:58Oh, night divine
01:27:20Oh, night divine
01:27:28Oh, night divine
01:27:31You bloody well did it
01:27:33Wait, wait, everyone, I'm getting confirmation
01:27:35Yes, yes, the house is clearly visible
01:27:40It's in space
01:27:42Oh, night divine
01:27:47Oh, night divine
01:27:54Oh, night divine
01:27:57It's so pretty
01:27:58I can't believe it's so
01:27:59I can't believe it's so
01:28:00I can see it from space
01:28:02Crossed fields and floods
01:28:04Crossed hills and plains
01:28:06To find the door
01:28:08To be found the door
01:28:10To be found the door
01:28:16To be found the door
01:28:19To be found the door
01:28:21To be found the door
01:28:24♪ Oh, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory
01:28:54glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory
01:29:24glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory, glory
01:29:54Up on the
01:30:07housetop, rain depots
01:30:09and jump good old Santa Claus
01:30:14Down to the chimney with lots of toys
01:30:17for the little ones to dream so many joys
01:30:21Oh, oh, oh, who would not go?
01:30:25Oh, oh, oh, who would not go?
01:30:28Oh, oh, oh, who would not go?
01:30:31I said to up on the housetop
01:30:33Click, click, click
01:30:35Down through the chimney
01:30:37Went old Saint Nick
01:30:52First come the stocking of little Nell
01:30:55Oh, Santa, won't you fill it well
01:30:59Then come the stocking of little Will
01:31:02Come on, Santa, won't you leave him a thrill
01:31:06Oh, oh, oh, who would not go?
01:31:09Oh, oh, oh, who would not go?
01:31:12Oh, oh, oh, who would not go?
01:31:16Oh, oh, oh, who would not go?
01:31:19I said to up on the housetop
01:31:21Click, click, click
01:31:23Down through the chimney
01:31:25Went old Saint Nick
01:31:40Oh, oh, oh, who would not go?
01:31:43Oh, oh, oh, who would not go?
01:31:47Oh, oh, oh, who would not go?
01:31:50Oh, oh, oh, come on, come on
01:31:54Oh, oh, oh, who would not go?
01:31:57Oh, oh, oh, who would not go?
01:32:00Oh, oh, oh, who would not go?
01:32:04Oh, oh, oh, who would not go?
01:32:07I said to up on the housetop
01:32:09Click, click, click
01:32:11Down through the chimney
01:32:13Went old Saint Nick