The spy who dumped me (2018) HD
Audrey and Morgan, two 30-year-old best friends in Los Angeles, are unexpectedly thrust into an international conspiracy when Audrey's ex-boyfriend shows up at their apartment with a team of deadly assassins on his trail. Surprising even themselves, the duo jump into action, on the run throughout Europe from assassins and a suspicious-but-charming British agent as they hatch a plan to save the world.
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00I
00:00:30Wish
00:00:42Three year old
00:00:48To argue for two fifty
00:01:00I
00:01:30I
00:02:00Happy birthday
00:02:02Audrey Stockman
00:02:04This little lady over here
00:02:07There's
00:02:09funny
00:02:11Gorgeous funny wonderful lady over here. It's Audrey
00:02:16Oh
00:02:28Morgan is such a fucking freak. I love you. I love you. Where'd you steal that microphone from?
00:02:34Audrey number, you know that I own microphones
00:02:40Fuck me Tessa's here. Oh
00:02:42Oh
00:02:44My god the audacity
00:02:48Morgan the sheer
00:02:49Hubris to show up here at your birthday Morgan. There was a minimum number of people in order to reserve the bar
00:02:56I'm so sorry. Oh my god. I didn't think she would come. Oh, she's ordering a custom cocktail. I'm gonna kill myself
00:03:01What do I say? Huh? Like my boyfriend dumped me in a text message. How do I explain that? I know I know
00:03:07There's a simple solution. It's called lying. No. No, I'm I'm a really bad liar
00:03:12I know cuz you ramble you give too many details and then people know that you're lying
00:03:16You have to be concise about it here. Ask me what I've been up to lately
00:03:19What have you been up to? I bought a boat and we're out. Oh my god. She's coming over here. I'm with you. Let's do this
00:03:26Hey ladies, I can't I can't oh you're fucking dead to me. Happy birthday
00:03:31Hey girl
00:03:33Where's your adorable boyfriend?
00:03:36You know you guys make such a surprising couple like if I didn't meet him as your boyfriend
00:03:41I would assume he'd be dating someone more like edgy like a cool girl like a model
00:03:48But then I see you two together and it's like on this works, too
00:03:52Where is he so I can hug him?
00:04:05Oh
00:04:36Oh
00:04:47This is crazy because you're from the Ukraine and I just auditioned to be a Ukrainian farm girl in a Geico ad and
00:04:55They told me I was too authentic
00:04:57Anyway, is it Ukraine or the Ukraine?
00:05:01You say how you like, you know, always let the beautiful sexy woman decide
00:05:07That's what this is, you know, you have face like doll
00:05:13Okay, such a small narrow waist tiny, you know, I was gonna drive home, but now I think I might just drive into a wall
00:05:20Hit me
00:05:22Wait, I can use this
00:05:25Audrey yeah, this is Victor. He's a visitor from Eastern Europe. He has something that he wants to say to you. I don't yeah
00:05:32Yeah, this is my best friend. She's having a bad night
00:05:34Can you just use your aggressive masculinity for good instead of for evil and just tell her what you told me before do you doing?
00:05:42you have
00:05:44Bold face. No, no make it specific to her like really objectify her. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, cool
00:05:51You have big baby eyes. Mm-hmm
00:05:55and soft
00:05:57Subtle others
00:06:01Thank you so much Victor you've done good work, okay, so much. Okay. Bye. Bye. I
00:06:06Fucking hate you. Oh, come on. You're smiling. Hey Audrey. Where's Drew? He drowned. Oh
00:06:11Do you see this has been all night long?
00:06:14You have to move on I know it's just it's really hard to do that
00:06:18When we left the box of his shit in our apartment and he won't even text me back about picking it up
00:06:22I know. Oh, can I see your phone? Yeah, I just have to Google something
00:06:35Who are you texting?
00:06:38Morgan let me see my phone. Okay. Let me see my phone. I'm texting drew. Oh my god
00:06:41I said fuck you you worthless nutsack. I'm setting your shit on fire. I got no
00:06:47Why the fuck would you write that cuz we're gonna set a shit on fire
00:06:53I
00:07:12Really drew
00:07:14Skid marks on your underwear. What do you ate? Did he want me to watch them?
00:07:18Is that why he broke up with me cuz I didn't mother him enough. Fuck you. Wipe your own ass
00:07:24Okay. Oh, what's this? Oh
00:07:27This is actually a handwritten list of his favorite breakfast burrito places in Los Angeles
00:07:33He made notes. Yeah, great egg to tortilla ratio fucking idiot
00:07:40Oh my god, it's trophy second place trophy fantasy football and he saved it. No, it's not even real football
00:07:47It's a fucking fantasy. Oh wait. Oh
00:07:52My god, it's true
00:08:05Really that's it. Hey, are your ears burning cuz your shit is I'm sorry. I fucked up. Okay
00:08:13What
00:08:14What do you mean you fucked up? What which part I'm gonna come over tomorrow and I'm gonna explain everything
00:08:20Okay, just please don't do anything with my stuff. I'll be back tomorrow
00:08:26Drew
00:08:29Drew
00:08:42Oh
00:09:13Oh
00:09:26So, sorry, that's okay. Happy birthday
00:09:33Yep that yeah, it's not my birthday. Oh, it's gonna work for warmth. Well, if it was your birthday, I would say
00:09:42Happy birthday, but I'd probably say thank you
00:09:46You're welcome
00:09:49Hey, I
00:09:51Got a quarter left your mission should you choose to accept it is to find the absolute worst song on the jukebox
00:10:02Okay
00:10:13One gum, please. Oh, yeah
00:10:26To 25
00:10:36Have a great day. I know you're gonna ask me if I need help to my car
00:10:43So, um, where are you from?
00:10:50England what I thought yeah, but sometimes when I think that people end up being Australian
00:10:57People do sometimes end up being Australian
00:11:00Shut up. Oh
00:11:01God, I don't I don't actually mean shut up. It's a it's a figure of speech
00:11:05I don't know if you do that in England what figures of speech?
00:11:09Yeah. Yeah, we invented that
00:11:12Right
00:11:16You know some
00:11:18Some might say that I'm not exercising good judgment following a strange man somewhere
00:11:22This is how people get shoved in the back of sketchy vans, right?
00:11:27That makes this rather awkward, yeah get in the van
00:11:32Oh
00:11:38Okay
00:11:40What is happening? Did I do something wrong? Am I in trouble? Listen, we just want to talk
00:11:44About truth. Hey, he's your boyfriend, right? No. I mean, yes. Well, he was my boyfriend, but we broke up. Why is he in trouble?
00:11:51Yes, Drew isn't a lot of trouble. That's why you're in a van. Do you know where your ex-boyfriend worked?
00:11:57Uh, yeah NPR he hit a podcast it was about um, I don't I'm not a hundred percent sure what it was about but
00:12:05jazz and
00:12:07Economics. Okay. Nobody listened to that podcast. Not even me and I went to Harvard. Oh, it took you two minutes
00:12:12Well, I had to give her that for context said
00:12:15That podcast was Drew's cover job. Would you never mention having another job?
00:12:21Listen drew a CIA
00:12:24I'm sorry, what?
00:12:27Oh
00:12:33My god
00:12:35You were in Vegas when we saw Celine Dion
00:12:38Ironically, oh my god, listen
00:12:41Just go missing a lot of innocent people are gonna die unless we find him. Has he been in contact with you?
00:12:49No, are you sure no, oh
00:12:53Unless it was like last Tuesday night cuz I dropped my phone at the tub and it stopped working for a little while
00:12:57That's yep. That's what happened
00:12:59So I went on the internet and I was like, how do I fix my phone?
00:13:02And it said to put it in a bag of rice. I was like, I don't have rice
00:13:05Okay, you do not want to lie to us
00:13:10Okay
00:13:12Okay, fine. Yes. He called me last night. Well, I guess he called me back
00:13:15Finally, I called him like a thousand times
00:13:17Well just this week after I stopped hearing from him. I called him like a normal amount when we were together
00:13:23I'm normal
00:13:25Okay
00:13:32Morgan okay. I need to talk to you. Oh wait, Audrey just got home. I need to talk to you
00:13:36I need to talk to you Victor is in my room right now
00:13:39I don't know what the fuck that is Victor the guy from the bar last night turns out I left my driver's license
00:13:43He sent me a Facebook message and then he sent me two pictures of his dick. Okay, I don't I don't know
00:13:47I know I don't want to reward that kind of behavior either, but I mean my driver's license back
00:13:51I'm not gonna go to the DMV. I mean kill me. Totally. Can we just I'm using this opportunity to teach him about feminism
00:13:58There he is. Hey, you remember Audrey from last night? Yeah, you know Audrey
00:14:03There is no limit to what we women can achieve
00:14:08Michelle Obama
00:14:11Okay, I take shower, okay
00:14:14He's doing very well. What's up, mom?
00:14:17Did you get the dick pics that I forwarded you Morgan what Audrey thinks it's weird that we tell each other everything
00:14:22I think it's I know of course, it's normal. Yes. That's what I said. It looks like an unbaked crescent roll
00:14:27No, I know you like them uncut. Wait, hold on. My mom wants to know if you've ever been with an uncircumcised
00:14:32Oh my god, Morgan. I'm begging you get off the fucking phone. Okay. I love you. I'll talk to you later
00:14:37What?
00:14:39Get this you guys show up at my work from the CIA
00:14:43They want to talk about Drew
00:14:46They said he's a spy
00:14:50What do you mean of the spy?
00:14:53Morgan I'm I'm serious
00:14:55Do they show me photos of him with like dead bodies and like weapons and blood and I know I know I know this
00:15:02Sounds bad shit crazy, but just think about it. Okay, there were so many unanswered questions about that guy
00:15:06All right, like if he went to Vassar, why does he pronounce it library? Oh my god. Oh my god
00:15:16Sorry
00:15:17Couldn't remember if you were 3a or 3b
00:15:20Hey, what?
00:15:22Not great on text better on email. You know that I'm gonna
00:15:27Why does that smell like lighter fluid because I wasn't kidding when I told you I was gonna set your shit on fire
00:15:31Look, listen, I get it. It's a long story. There was something that I had to deal with. Okay, I just wasn't in the right headspace
00:15:38I
00:15:39Know you're a spy
00:15:42Yeah
00:15:43These guys showed up at my work shoved me into a van and showed me these horrible photos
00:15:51What did you tell him what do you mean what did I tell them you're not gonna deny it or like tell me those
00:15:55Photos were photoshopped or anything. Oh my god. You have a fucking gun
00:15:59Did you tell me exactly what you told them?
00:16:04It's in your forehead what you like this this little red dot on your forehead
00:16:13Oh
00:16:31Some bad people are after me the CIA and some other people do and now they're after you
00:16:37That's exactly why I left you. Oh, I didn't want you in danger
00:16:40a
00:16:48Lot of innocent people are gonna die unless we get this to where it needs to go. Okay
00:16:53So what we're gonna do is we're gonna leave the apartment. We're gonna go to Vienna. Okay, we're gonna go to cafe Sheila
00:17:01We're gonna meet someone named Fern
00:17:0311 a.m. Tomorrow. Why are you telling me this if we're doing this together in case I don't make it out of here alive
00:17:10No, Jim, listen to me
00:17:1411 a.m. Cafe Sheila
00:17:16Vern you got it
00:17:19And don't trust anybody
00:17:23Anybody
00:17:28That's for Daniel
00:17:40Oh
00:18:02Are you okay? What? No, are you no, okay, okay
00:18:10So, um, where are we going? I don't know. Where are we gonna be safe pull into that parking lot?
00:18:15There's a bathroom in that Pilates plus we are not hiding in a fucking Pilates plus. Where's the police station? What? No
00:18:22No, please. No, please. We're not doing police cuz I killed someone. Oh my god. Oh my god
00:18:26Call the CIA guys. No drew said that we can't trust anyone and he's right cuz he's dead
00:18:32Probably because I talked to them. No, it's cuz I let the assassin into the apartment
00:18:38Okay, fair enough. It's both our fault
00:18:41Oh
00:18:42Shit, you're gonna get the call. Hello
00:18:45Audrey, it's Sebastian you killed true. I told you where he was gonna be and you fucking killed him
00:18:51Sorry, can I ask a question? Who is this? That's the asshole from the CIA Audrey. Where are you taking it?
00:18:55Why would I tell you give us the package trust me? I don't trust anyone anymore
00:19:03You just me though, right
00:19:05Yes, of course I trust you you don't count okay good cuz this is not some fake spy friendship that the Russians put together
00:19:11Dude, shut up. I know
00:19:13Okay, drew said that if we don't deliver this package a lot of people are gonna die
00:19:16But if we don't do it in then there's like a terrorist attack or something
00:19:19Well, what did he say to do with to get it to a cafe in Vienna?
00:19:24Austria Vienna, yes, that's what he said. Okay. Well, why don't we do that then?
00:19:29Do you what go to Europe when a bunch of people are trying to kill us?
00:19:32Do you want to die having never been to Europe or do you want to go to Europe and die having been to Europe?
00:19:38Why are those my only two options?
00:19:42Okay, this is a sign our passports are still in there from a road trip to Tijuana
00:19:48Okay, someone that you love just died and asked you to do one last thing I think you got to do it
00:19:56I'll go with you
00:19:59Okay, fuck it let's just let's go to Austria, let's go to Austria
00:20:04Why are you turning I have to park people are trying to kill us we're not fucking parking in lot C
00:20:15We need a suitcase
00:20:16I think it looks suspicious if we go through international security with no luggage and just a weird trophy, right?
00:20:21Wait, wait, wait, wait, wouldn't it be more suspicious if we go through security with a suitcase? That's totally empty except for the weird trophy
00:20:27Yes, we need more trophies then. That's what we'll do
00:20:30We'll be the kind of women who jet off to Vienna with all of our awards were notable were recognized. We have trophies baby
00:20:37best grandson
00:20:39Yes
00:20:40Don't be nervous people get caught when they're not confident
00:20:44Hello, are you new? I usually do with Cesar
00:20:48Shit get rid of our phones bad guys can track us even if they're off. I've actually known that for a long time
00:20:54I went to performing arts camp with Edward Snowden. Oh, that's right. You used to date Snowden. No, no, he tried God
00:21:00He was obsessed with me
00:21:02It was really into Scott when the whole thing was going down
00:21:05I was like, why is no one talking about the fact that Edward Snowden is really into Scott. Give me a shot. Yeah
00:21:25Oh
00:21:30Mambo number five. Oh, please what mambo's one through four. They're fantastic. Wow. Yeah, it's good. Okay. Oh
00:21:38I got one close your eyes
00:21:40What's right?
00:21:42Oh
00:21:55No
00:21:58Well, there was this kid
00:22:04To
00:22:06Couldn't come to school
00:22:12Right
00:22:13Congratulations. Thank you. That's the worst. Thank you. They play this kind of stuff in Europe all the time
00:22:17It's like the whole continent just said, you know what? I love 1994. Let's just stay here. I
00:22:23Wouldn't know I've never been to Europe
00:22:43Oh
00:22:51This is really fancy we belong here
00:22:56This is a place that drew would hang out at make drew like the same guy they called 7-eleven sushi
00:23:04Japanese food
00:23:06Okay, who do we think Verne is?
00:23:08Yeah, I don't know and won't burn be looking for drew
00:23:13Fuck I was gonna know what's us. God damn it. What do we do? Oh
00:23:20No, that's wrong, what do you see? Oh
00:23:25Nothing nothing. It's just the um cakes a lot of flour and dairy for me. I am I have to have diarrhea
00:23:33Okay, okay
00:23:36Oh
00:23:37Morgan you should pop you should probably go. I don't know that. Nope. Mm-hmm. You should probably not do that
00:23:43No, no, no. No, this is more important. No. Oh my gosh. It's really not. Please go
00:23:54And I bring you anything else I know I'm coffee Peter don't make a noise I'm the person you're here to meet
00:24:02I'm
00:24:04Sorry, um, you're a friend to me. Yes. No and the package over wait, no, no, no, none of this is making any sense. Oh
00:24:12My god, don't say a word
00:24:15Okay. Oh my god
00:24:18Thank you
00:24:21I'm trying to protect you. Yeah the same way you protected her if you were here to protect me
00:24:26You wouldn't be pointing a gun at me. I may not be in the CIA, but I know that much in my six actually drew a CIA
00:24:31It's an international effort
00:24:33whatever
00:24:46Your burn good to Morgan
00:24:51Guten burn
00:24:54Would you please stop pointing that up it's making me very nervous when I sit still and listen, okay
00:24:59In a moment everyone in this cafe is gonna start shooting
00:25:02They all want what you've got and they'll kill each and every one of us until they get it
00:25:09If you run you'll be killed
00:25:11If you do manage to get out, you won't be able to go anywhere
00:25:13You scan your passport at the border
00:25:15There'll be men with guns bigger than this one that won't say a word before they kill you and if you do make it to
00:25:19The airport will be waiting for you
00:25:22So and the package over no one gets hurt except for true, okay, it's not productive to keep bringing that up
00:25:36The package
00:25:51Oh
00:26:21Oh
00:26:51Oh
00:27:21Oh
00:27:51Oh
00:28:01Shit do you know how to drive a stick?
00:28:13So sorry, it's an emergency
00:28:22Okay
00:28:32Stop the cab, come on
00:28:36Hello, hi, here we go, please
00:28:40Mr. Yang, yeah. Yeah, my mother married a Chinese man. It's a very long beautiful story. They met it was post
00:28:45We are gang. We're mr. Gang. Yes
00:28:52So you guys visiting no, we live here, I'm an Austrian man named mr. Yang go
00:28:57So I'm Lucas. How can I make your ride in Vienna? Excellent today. Everything's fine. Everything's great. Can you just oh, no
00:29:03No, fine is not good enough for me. I want excellent. Would you like some waters still sparkling?
00:29:08No, no water fully hydrated. Would you like to listen to music? No, no, no, no music. Just drive, please
00:29:12Yeah, but I'm not only a driver. Actually. I'm also a DJ on Saturday night
00:29:16You guys are still in town on Saturday, but look
00:29:19hip-hop music
00:29:37Okay, okay listen buddy, there's a bunch of men chasing us with guns and I need you to lose them
00:29:40You know, I don't know what to do
00:29:42Okay, listen buddy, there's a bunch of men chasing us with guns and I need you to lose them now
00:30:13I
00:30:19Smoked so much meth before
00:30:21I
00:30:42Five up here
00:30:51Oh
00:31:11My god, there's one left. I know I see I see. Oh, okay. Why are you using the turn signal?
00:31:17You're literally telling them where we're going. Sorry. It's a force of habit. It's a bad habit
00:31:20No, it's a good habit in most circumstances. It is a very good habit
00:31:50Oh
00:32:17There she goes
00:32:20Oh
00:32:50Oh
00:33:11There's a train station
00:33:20Oh
00:33:30So you're saying you fail
00:33:32No, there were some unforeseen complications, but I do have the package. Let's see it
00:33:38It
00:33:47Appears I don't have it. So let me get this right you didn't get the package
00:33:52The girls still have the package and now Highland is likely to get the package. I won't let that happen
00:33:59I'm glad that this happened. Otherwise, you wouldn't have been awarded best grandson. Okay, that's funny
00:34:05I
00:34:07Am ma'am, ma'am, can you hear us ma'am? Did you hear us ma'am? Are you frozen ma'am?
00:34:13Ma'am wave if you're not frozen, please
00:34:16just
00:34:18Disappointed I was just trying to protect them protect them. Yeah, let them die. They're idiots
00:34:23I know an idiot when I see one in the mirror. Okay, I'm not an idiot Sebastian for the record. Here we go
00:34:28You went to Harvard. Yes, we all know I didn't even mention Harvard. That's the thing
00:34:35I
00:34:43Got us two tickets to progress. I got us a change of clothes. Okay, great. We can change on the train
00:34:47It leaves in like 10 minutes and then we can fly home from there
00:34:51Wait, wait, wait, can we just take a second to appreciate you now?
00:34:55Yes, right now what you did in the cafe with the gun was insane. You killed a man. It's a bad man
00:35:01It was bad man. I just I play a lot of video games
00:35:04And then what you did with the trophies you switch the trophies
00:35:06He literally works in intelligence and yet you were the more intelligent. How crazy is that? And then you did all that car stuff
00:35:12Oh my god, it all just happened really quickly. Can we please just move on woman?
00:35:15You are incredible and I want you to own it. Okay, listen, I'm I'm owning it. Can we just go?
00:35:21I'm not gonna let you minimize this. I'm not you always do this always do this
00:35:26Oh my god, have you ever in your whole life felt so alive?
00:35:34And we're gonna be a lot less alive if we don't make it out to the train, okay, please
00:35:40They're really playing up that Mozart's from here and they're really downplaying that Hitler's from here. Yeah, I would too
00:35:47What track is it looks like track 10 goes to
00:35:52It's hard. It's hot ass
00:35:55Ballas know that who did you owe me to Ustina love them pound the whole
00:36:02Ban half Prague Prague track six. Oh, thank God. Okay, wait
00:36:06No, no, no Sebastian said if we use our passports, we'll get stopped at the border shit. What do we do?
00:36:14Okay, we just have to find two girls who look like us tell them what happened and convince them to give us theirs and then
00:36:18They can say that there's for stolen who would do that any girls any girls would do that. Okay, okay
00:36:24How about them? They kind of look like us
00:36:27No, we don't want to be them in Europe we want to be them in Europe
00:36:35Yeah, we do tight shorts just imagine the only guy you've ever loved dying in front of you and
00:36:43Asking you to do this one thing. Wouldn't you sacrifice everything and then imagine if that was your best friend 12 years
00:36:49Wouldn't you go to the ends of the earth to protect her? Yes, you guys it we it
00:36:55Okay, actually, we're not need we are in danger. You'd be saving our lives in the lives of a lot
00:37:00But just go to the embassy and get other passports. Sorry, we'd love to help you out mate, but we just don't know you
00:37:13You're right, okay
00:37:25Oh
00:37:43Look your address is on it so I can mail it back to you if we survive
00:37:55Oh
00:38:12Hello, yes, I understand
00:38:26Are you not you you're going to miss you if you again you always do this. Oh
00:38:48If like my best friend always knew that she wanted to be an actress she's just natural at it
00:38:55I'm not a natural at anything. I
00:38:57Tried law school. Oh smart and I tried art school
00:39:01Good big swing there. I dropped out of both. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I never finished anything
00:39:11All right, who's finished your beer
00:39:15Yeah that I do finish
00:39:18So, why don't you finish things what are you afraid of hmm being average
00:39:25Come on, I mean, I would not say that you are average. Ha ha ha
00:39:30How do you know you just met me?
00:39:33Pretty good judge of character
00:39:35You trust me
00:39:42Thank you for the dance, would you like me to get you another beer? Yeah, that'd be great. Sure
00:39:48Get two more
00:39:51Oh
00:39:53Cool cool. Cool. Okay. So here's my advice, right?
00:39:56Were you oh, that's my sister. Really and now my biological sister, but my my de facto sister
00:40:03Oh, yeah, she wouldn't want you to know this but she lost her virginity really late. So she's like hungry for it
00:40:09You know, I mean, oh
00:40:10Cool, so have fun with that. But if you hurt her, I'll find your best friend
00:40:17Mm-hmm. I'll cut off his dick. Mm-hmm
00:40:20And I'll make you eat it. Oh
00:40:23Okay, you can have whatever condiments you like, but you've got to finish it
00:40:30What's your name Morgan hey, yeah, Morgan true Morgan anyone ever tell you you're a little much
00:40:42Why didn't you tell me that he said that
00:40:45You
00:40:47Were so into him and you can't say shit like that to your best friend your best friends in love with somebody
00:40:55It didn't hurt my feelings a little bit I hurt my feelings a little bit
00:41:02Oh, yeah, hey, I'm really sorry, I'm sorry too
00:41:08Sorry dad
00:41:10No
00:41:12What do we do with this thing, I don't know I don't even know what this thing is or what it does or anything
00:41:18Such an idiot about all this. I met his parents. They were so normal
00:41:23Their names are Tom and Marcia that the night before he disappeared. We all went to the Cheesecake Factory
00:41:29Oh my god that menu
00:41:31Dostoevsky wrote that menu
00:41:34Who introduces people that don't matter to their parents?
00:41:37Well, I do I introduce everyone to my parents, but that's their gain because my parents are magic
00:41:42Do you think they knew? Yeah, I don't know. I just wish that he was still alive so I can get some answers
00:41:48And then I would tell him the fucking
00:42:00Open it
00:42:08What what what the fuck is that it's a flash drive
00:42:12They were killing each other for this. Oh my god. You know who would know what we should do right now
00:42:17No, my father is a brilliant attorney who has represented people who are in much worse trouble than we are right now
00:42:25No, your dad would be furious at us for breaking like a million international laws. He's not gonna be mad
00:42:30He wasn't mad when I tried cocaine with my basketball coach. He wasn't mad at me when I got deported from Belize
00:42:36He didn't get mad when I invited that teenage magician to live in my grandma's condo
00:42:42Whatever happened to him
00:42:46You're not gonna believe this he disappeared shut up. No, he actually he is a missing person
00:42:54Oh
00:43:09Mom it's me. Oh, thank God Arnie. She's okay. I'm gonna conference your father in
00:43:16This is Arnie. Hi, Dad
00:43:19Hey
00:43:23I'm so proud of you. I always knew the world would write about you
00:43:27Did you color your hair you look like a princess sweetie? Let me ask you
00:43:30Did you and Audrey murder two people tell me the truth? I can get you out of it
00:43:34No, no, what happened was I murdered one person, but it was an assassin. So
00:43:38So it didn't count. No doesn't count and Audrey murdered a bunch of people in Austria
00:43:43Oh my god, but it was self-defense also fine. Her boyfriend was murdered in front of us the handsome one
00:43:48I think he was fine. I guess. Oh, you know who's really handsome is Patrick Dempsey. Where are you now, sweetie?
00:43:55I'm in Prague. I don't care for Eastern Europe to gothic. Okay, listen, I got a place where you can hide
00:44:01Okay, I got a friend Roger Bernstein lives in Prague
00:44:05Dad represented Roger in a malpractice suit Oh Carol, you know, who's handsome Woody Harrelson, you know people don't think it
00:44:13I find him handsome
00:44:15She like fell over. I did actually there was one moment. I thought I was gonna die. Yeah, they've got something wrong with Morgan
00:44:29Now now we gotta go
00:44:43Oh
00:45:13Oh my looking for I texted pictures targets are too dumb American women
00:45:43Oh
00:45:58My god, you're lagging
00:46:06Chips okay. We need to find Coral over Street. It looks like elephant Valley is on the left
00:46:11We're gonna pass the pavilion of big tortoises in a second
00:46:16Morgan this is a map of the zoo
00:46:19You
00:46:35Hello, yes Roger it's it's Arnie's daughter he called
00:46:39You
00:46:46Know it's funny
00:46:47I remember one time back in the day the dad and I were getting ready to go out in the Hamptons
00:46:52Your dad had his sunglasses on you turned his collar up. He looked super so we get to the disco
00:46:58The guy says to him sir, sir, your collar is up
00:47:01Ruin the whole effect
00:47:03Hope you don't think I'm being presumptuous, but I thought you gals look like you'd enjoy some pot
00:47:09Roast
00:47:13I'm actually I'm so sorry. I am a vegan Oh
00:47:17Morgan you're not a vegan what because of the bacon bacon's meat. Well, listen at least let me get you a little vino
00:47:25Okay, I mean the only animal cruelty involved in that is what the wine guy charges
00:47:30Actually like to keep all the best bottles over there in the study it's like
00:47:34Well, it's sort of like my homage to all the great storytellers, yeah
00:47:37Right now I'm working my way through a grenache noir while I enjoy a first edition of a comedy. You mean, huh?
00:47:44Are you into ball sack?
00:47:47Less and less with every experience
00:47:50Well, I'll be right back
00:47:56It's happening again, what is he's into me
00:48:00I'm talking about he wants a slice Raj. No, he's just you know, like a little
00:48:07weird
00:48:08Older men they gravitate toward me. Okay, they love
00:48:12They want this
00:48:14If that makes them weird, then I asked you to math tutor was weird. Our landlord is weird. He's weird. Betty Patinkin is weird
00:48:22Mmm
00:48:25I'm okay. You just I'll be right back. Love you
00:48:31All right, are you okay? Oh, yeah, she's fine. She's finished. So am I well, please let me give you it is your stiff
00:48:40About your son. Hey, how about your son? Hey, ah
00:48:46It's dry so are you a lover of art? Yeah. Yeah. Oh art love art
00:48:55and
00:48:56Look at that art then look like she's enjoying herself too much. Sometimes the sweetest pleasure comes when you're not enjoying yourself
00:49:06Don't know that I agree with that you wouldn't okay, we're doing a massage now
00:49:14Here we go
00:49:19Oh
00:49:26Oh
00:49:32Roger thank you so much for having us at your home my great pleasure, but I just I don't think I don't think so
00:49:41That actually kind of that kind of hurts
00:49:44Huh? Hello
00:49:46Mrs. I'm Morgan. I'm a family friend. This is your girlfriend
00:49:51Not you. No, no, no, we have to bring them in alive. Oh
00:49:56Oh
00:50:06Audrey Audrey Roger is bad bad. No, no, that's not Roger
00:50:16That's Roger ah
00:50:21They want the drive
00:50:24You have to swallow it before they come back once I threw it up like nine times what I can't do it
00:50:30Well, I can't swallow
00:50:32Anyway, I can't even swallow and it will I have to crush it up in my applesauce
00:50:38Yeah
00:50:42Okay, really
00:50:53I
00:51:21Can't do it I tried
00:51:23Oh
00:51:32There's the ice cream lady
00:51:53Oh
00:52:18Audrey
00:52:20Honey
00:52:22Are you okay?
00:52:27Okay, I don't I don't know
00:52:34Audrey how are you feeling?
00:52:40Oh my god, I'm so sorry that you got dragged into this I never meant for you to die
00:52:45We know you didn't Audrey we're just glad you're alive
00:52:48Will you untie us before they come back and tie you up to please? Oh, where's the drive? Oh
00:52:55You know about that
00:52:58Shut up, you dumb bitch. Fuck you. You want to tell your friend to answer the question. Trust me
00:53:03Your son would have wanted you to protect us
00:53:06Audrey I
00:53:08Don't think those are just parents
00:53:10No, of course they are no, yeah, we went out to the cheesecake factory we shared chicken lettuce cups
00:53:15We were at that restaurant to negotiate the sale of the drive
00:53:19But we we talked about real things. We talked about top school. I'm getting a colonoscopy
00:53:23He only took you to the restaurant as insurance so he wouldn't kill him if he left with the drive. Okay, let's get this done
00:53:31Where is the fucking drive?
00:53:40Foster down the toilet, do you know what you've done?
00:53:50That is that
00:53:59Oh
00:54:07Huh
00:54:11Super got off so I was nice to a dealer's
00:54:15slushy's
00:54:17Cocks dealer love of you know, it's probably less neighborly me twice. Don't worry. Don't worry, sir. It's a guy. She'll blow a ribbon come
00:54:26Tell her you don't go bullshit
00:54:40Five kilometers out closing in on the safe house backup units be advised subjects heavily armed
00:54:53Wow, you're so pretty
00:54:55You're barely human. You're so pretty and look how flexible you are. Shut up. No, everybody likes compliments
00:55:03She's definitely not living this Morgan. She loves it. She's working. You just you are so you're so bad
00:55:10Oh, hey, hey, are you are you hungry? I'm hungry. Well, you want to get out here and get it?
00:55:30Shit they got the drive
00:55:32fuck
00:55:34All right kids on my count send the grenades in let's blow this motherfucker up. Wait girls could still be in there
00:55:39Yeah, and if they are they're either surrounded by terrorists or dead. Also, I don't care. Just give me five minutes three agents
00:55:44I need to check. Oh, so four agents can die. You know, this is my operation, right?
00:55:48So just sit tight and let's crush this mother the way we crush yell at football nine years in a row and by we I
00:55:54Mean Harvard, let's blow him up
00:55:57Watch the show
00:56:04Actually guys hold up abort mission
00:56:09Crimson
00:56:17I asked question if I don't like answer you feel pain
00:56:24Same as her
00:56:26It looks worse than it is. I have freakishly strong teeth. I braces for nine years. My orthodontist published a paper
00:56:34Where's drive
00:56:39I
00:56:52Please do me a favor and eat my tent, bitch
00:57:00Go fuck yourself
00:57:09I
00:57:30Trust me that I'm a terrible
00:57:32terrible life
00:57:34Everybody knows what I'm lying. I I can't lie
00:57:37Me too. I've never kept a secret of my life secrets are poison. Maybe you keep secret for her. No
00:57:43No, I'll tell you anything that you want to know about her. Okay, then I know it all
00:57:47She texts and drives. She does it all the time. She Instagrams from the freeway. She hashtags it driving
00:57:54I'm proving her that we don't keep secrets. Good. Just tell her something about me. Okay, okay
00:57:59Morgan stole her dad's pain pills after a surgery and sold them at Coachella
00:58:02That's it Audrey was once babysitting you this eight-year-old kid and she flirted with him to get him to go to sleep
00:58:08His name was Liam. She has sex dreams about minions
00:58:12Just the one minion with the one eye. Is this supposed to be a dick?
00:58:16She googled it on my computer. And now I get a lot of weird ads. I said I was sorry
00:58:22Audrey shaves between her boobs a Morgan kissed her cousin. I didn't know it's my cousin Morgan has HPV
00:58:28Audrey has HPV Morgan had sex in the playground once after he hit a dog in the face
00:58:32Morgan had lice as an adult Audrey can't come could she's on antidepressants. I can't it just takes me a very long time. Oh
00:58:39Look, hey, hey, oh, it's working. Yeah. What else do you want to know? We'll tell you anything
00:58:47How you know so much about her and she about you
00:58:52She's my best friend. We we know everything about each other
00:58:55You have a best friend, right? Of course. She has a best friend. Yeah, look at her
00:58:59You're so charming and you have so many good hobbies hobbies. You do you do have a house friend?
00:59:09What's her name what do you look like poor pig?
00:59:13What poor pig poor pig? Huh? Tell us about her tells everything about
00:59:17Oh
00:59:23Poor big
00:59:26Bounce me. Oh, it's a fucking bounce. Oh good. You bounce Vince best fucking friend
00:59:48Fucking dick henshaw
00:59:56Okay, light it up
01:00:17Oh
01:00:47Oh
01:01:17Oh
01:01:38Okay, I trust you now Jesus
01:01:45What
01:01:48I get in the fucking car us
01:02:01I
01:02:04Thought that the International Intelligence Office would be fancier it's a temporary space we don't want to call attention to ourselves
01:02:11I know but can you hang a poster? Can we get a drape?
01:02:15This is what our tax dollars are paying for we haven't paid your taxes for three years
01:02:20You know that
01:02:22Hey, look Sebastian. I'm really sorry. I didn't give you the drive at that cafe. Ah
01:02:26No, I understand
01:02:28Drew told you to keep it safe. Can you at least tell us what's on that drive?
01:02:34All we know is it was made by an international terrorist group named Highland
01:02:40Intelligence tells us they're planning a series of attacks
01:02:43If we had it we know how to stop them
01:02:49I'm sure my office
01:02:53What?
01:02:54Wait, wait, this is your bump. You're the boss
01:02:58We have a real-life Judi Dench in our midst. You are the boss and yet you have not sacrificed one ounce of femininity
01:03:05Why have we been spending all of this time talking to the men when this?
01:03:09Being has been floating through the halls of the building. Oh my god, that's a compliment. That is the Beyonce of the government
01:03:16Duffer
01:03:18Stay here. I
01:03:20Have so much respect for you that it has circled around into objectification
01:03:25ma'am
01:03:26I'm sorry, ma'am. I know I overstepped overstepped. No, I'd say what you did was closer to treason
01:03:34Treason I was merely trying to help how long did your doctor say that your arm will take to heal?
01:03:41Three months for the bullet wound one for the sprain
01:03:44fantastic
01:03:45Take four months leave. Oh, no, I assume he meant the two would heal simultaneously. I know what I said
01:03:51Please take me through this. What exactly was going through your mind when you flushed it down the toilet were you thinking?
01:03:58Oh, I know
01:03:59People are dying because of this so here's what I'll do
01:04:02I'll treat it like a piece of shit wrapped up in toilet paper and then flush it down the toilet. Oh
01:04:10This is funny death is funny to you no, I'm sorry
01:04:14But that's how you go to the bathroom. Oh great. Okay. Awesome. Great you to laugh meanwhile
01:04:20Let me tell you how many people have died in will die because of your stupidity
01:04:25I
01:04:27Just heard let me get this straight
01:04:29So you wrap your hands in toilet paper and then you poop into that and then that whole contraption is what you drop into the toilet
01:04:35That was just a metaphor. You know that the toilet is designed to take the work out of it for you, right?
01:04:39No, that's not what I was saying. I was I didn't say that I
01:04:43Poop normally like everybody else. Of course. Yes. I know. I'm sorry. Okay
01:04:49Yeah, I'm gonna say goodbye
01:04:52Where are you going?
01:04:56I've been suspended you two had to go back to Los Angeles. What what?
01:05:02tougher
01:05:03Transport these women to to go ma'am. Ma'am, ma'am
01:05:08Please don't send us home
01:05:10Spying not easy. We know that now but we have been a real help to this operation
01:05:17And and I know the drive is gone, but we are in this boss
01:05:20And if you would just give us a chance, I think that we could be a major resource for you. Would you?
01:05:28consider
01:05:30Keeping us on in this Intelligence Bureau, please
01:05:38Now
01:05:41Okay
01:05:43All right. I
01:05:46Am going to take a chance on you too
01:05:49Really?
01:05:51Like I've really used you
01:05:53What?
01:05:57No
01:06:00That flight leaves in four hours
01:06:05Hey Morgan, I think that we should probably just just head out the fact that we even survived this is just dumb luck
01:06:11I really just want to go home. Why would you go home in the middle of all of this?
01:06:16We're part of this. Come on. This isn't this isn't who we are
01:06:20Okay, we've we've done enough
01:06:23Can we please just go home?
01:06:27I'm done
01:06:30Morgan now. Yeah. Yes. Yes. That's a great idea. Hey, Seb
01:06:34Why don't you drop them off at the airport on your way home? It'll prepare you for your next career being a super shuttle driver
01:06:42I
01:06:55Have curiosity if we still had the drive what would have happened hypothetically? Yeah
01:07:01I'd figure out how to deencrypt it then
01:07:04See what Highland's plans are and stop them. How do you do encrypt something like that?
01:07:09Why do you want to know all this
01:07:12Because the drive is in my vagina
01:07:18Well, I mean look everybody kept saying that it was so important and I wasn't gonna flush something that important on the toilet
01:07:24Why didn't you just give it to Duffer cuz he's an asshole
01:07:26Wait, so when you said you wanted to go home, yes, it was because I had the flash drive in my vagina
01:07:33Oh
01:07:36My god, I know does it hurt does it not hurt but you get used to it
01:07:40Wait, so you were lying to that bitch when she was torturing us?
01:07:43Yeah, and you lied to me you broke our sacred bond of trust. I know Morgan. I'm so sorry, but it's okay
01:07:49Cuz it was amazing. I am I don't mean to be impolite about this, but
01:07:54What do you think you could access it from?
01:07:56Oh
01:08:00Yeah, well just yeah don't look here
01:08:06So good you should get it out cuz the ultimate irony would be if you save the world and then died of toxic shock syndrome
01:08:21There it is, oh
01:08:23Don't just put it in the no, I'll like
01:08:34So are you gonna use that to get your job back people at my job just tried to kill all of us
01:08:38to be honest, I'm not sure who to trust anymore, but
01:08:41Thank you for
01:08:44Trusting me
01:08:47Now
01:08:48Will you trust us?
01:08:50To help you. I mean you're injured. So I feel like you kind of need us. I mean, we're naturals. We're operatives
01:08:57We're semi-professionals at this point professional. We are professional
01:09:15So, um, what can your idea of blending in is that outfit
01:09:20Yeah, do I not look just like a French woman? I look like a French woman. You look like a French curtain
01:09:28Yeah, cuz I can hang
01:09:32Something really weird on this drive. Oh, I'm sorry. Not all of us are perfectly waxed poinsters down there
01:09:38Some of us have stuff. Oh, no, I I mean the information on it. It's State Department encryption. Oh
01:09:44Oh
01:09:47Figures
01:09:49What do you mean meaning Highland didn't make it your government did I?
01:09:54Can't access it. I don't have clearance. I mean you you're a spy. Can't you just hack it?
01:09:58Well, they change the password every 24 hours
01:10:02Even if I had a supercomputer take days, so what are you saying?
01:10:07Saying we can't get onto the flash drive. What there's got to be something else we can do
01:10:11Well, not unless you have access to an expert in u.s. Intelligence computer security
01:10:18One minute
01:10:30Hello
01:10:31Will a Bibliotheca
01:10:33But they don't have a biotech. Mm-hmm. That's all I remember from high school French
01:10:41That's French student film
01:10:45Sit on your week of Christian read the Roma
01:10:49Just gonna pat Christian. She's sweet boss. Oh, Tristan
01:10:52That's on get close to you. I bet you can look at the murky. Hey, it's a dog
01:10:57It's a dog
01:11:04No, I
01:11:07Need to borrow this for one minute, I will be there. Okay. This is
01:11:25This is Edward Eddie
01:11:28Eddie Snowden
01:11:32Oh my god
01:11:34Morgan
01:11:36Wow, it's it's it's been forever. I yeah, I sent you a bunch of emails over the years
01:11:42Shoot. Well, that's upsetting. I don't know where they went. I thought that you might not have your AOL account anymore
01:11:49Oh, yeah, I switched to gmail in oh four. Oh
01:11:53Actually, I knew that right you guess you would
01:11:57So I've been following the news
01:11:59Eddie you have to understand we didn't kill anybody on purpose. Of course, it's called a frame job. They do that
01:12:07Tell me what you need Morgan. I'm here for you. Are you near a computer?
01:12:13Always a capital H at sign lowercase you
01:12:19lowercase J
01:12:21Percentage sign. Yes percentage uppercase Y
01:12:24Oh
01:12:28My god, that's right. Okay, so
01:12:31What are Highlands plans?
01:12:33These aren't violence plans. This driver's a backdoor to the entire internet
01:12:39finances emails
01:12:41everyone's secrets
01:12:44We need to get out of here now
01:12:48Morgan
01:12:49You call me if you're ever in LA now
01:12:53Ellie's gonna be hard
01:13:06Travel I need to add another target
01:13:09Double rate. No, you already failed twice. The girls are still alive. Highland is very upset
01:13:18Well, hello beautiful
01:13:23Baby
01:13:26What happens your face
01:13:31What happened to yours
01:13:42Where are we going chief Amsterdam? We'll be safe there. Can I help you? Thank you
01:13:52You
01:13:56Nice boobs
01:13:59Thanks
01:14:03Remember the best place to hide is somewhere full of suspicious people. Oh
01:14:08My god, is this what crack smells like?
01:14:10Is this the couple you saw the gymnasium Ivan and Reza Petrenko heads of the Highland crime syndicate out of Moscow
01:14:18Oligarchs arms dealers blackmailers and former gymnastic coaches and this is their trained assassin and former student
01:14:28You guys it's us
01:14:41Sexual motive yeah, he wishes
01:14:47Shit Morgan, it's our chats. I
01:14:50Just wish he would die. Is that too much to ask?
01:14:55Just for someone to expletive murder him
01:15:00Stockman then do you want me to murder him? I totally will
01:15:05That's what friends are for music note emoji music note emoji replied Morgan Freeman
01:15:12I
01:15:13Name is Morgan Freeman. I
01:15:15Just put that together. Yeah, I can always get a reservation wherever I want
01:15:20Honestly, I just I just don't believe that Audrey would ever do this. Oh, it's just not that kind of person
01:15:25Well, you know, okay. She's not that sophisticated. I mean, she's 30 years old and she doesn't even have a bed frame. So
01:15:34Spring counts a box spring counts talked about this
01:15:43I
01:15:48Americans
01:15:55Hey
01:16:07I hope you're not upset about what that girl said on the news. Oh
01:16:13I'm not that surprised. It's not like I've done anything that impressive with my life. I've seen you do some impressive things
01:16:20You were a great shot in the cafe. You
01:16:23Switched the trophies on me
01:16:25You didn't break when you're being tortured. Plus you had the foresight to stick that thing up your
01:16:33Thing
01:16:35You
01:16:37Know I'm impressed with you too. Are you risk your whole life for me? Not many people have done that including my ex-boyfriend
01:16:48Yeah about that I
01:16:50Want to clear something up
01:16:53You weren't just a cover for true that much. I know
01:16:56how I
01:16:59Was there and I you too mad at your birthday
01:17:01But at the bar outside in the surveillance planning drew was in the bar to take up a target wait who the bartender
01:17:08It was a recruiter for Isis
01:17:14Craft bourbon cocktail with tobacco bitters and rhubarb zest
01:17:27Can you identify him as the target
01:17:32Oh
01:17:36Sorry, happy birthday. No, do not get distracted. Yeah. Yeah. It's not my birthday. I
01:17:47Just funny
01:17:49They don't get away from him now
01:17:53In our line of work being with someone
01:17:56caring about them
01:17:58It makes your job harder, so if drew was trying with you then
01:18:04That was real
01:18:06And not the off my opinion, but the worst song on that jukebox is your body is a wonderland no question. Oh
01:18:15My god, what what no way?
01:18:18Absolutely, not. No. I
01:18:21Lost my virginity to that song
01:18:24To who that cheesiest person in the world
01:18:33Look worst am I right?
01:18:49She talks too much
01:18:52Duffer
01:19:02Hands up, that's both hands cripple. Mm-hmm. Come on step higher
01:19:09Just because I can who's this about Duffer revenge I was suspended you won. Come on, man. I know I won
01:19:17I'm just here for this
01:19:21Of course now I have a few loose ends to tie up. Hey, okay
01:19:27He has nothing to do with this. Okay, I promise you this is just Morgan and me
01:19:31So why don't you go back to the CIA and tell them that Jesus? You don't know that. I'm the bad guy what?
01:19:37He's not here on CIA business
01:19:39He's working for Highland now
01:19:41You have no idea how much the Chinese mafia is willing to pay for this or the Russian mafia multiple mafias want this
01:19:47And on that note
01:19:48I'll finish you all off and be on my way as much fun as it's been watching you fucktards play Tinker Taylor stoner spy
01:19:59Hmm
01:20:01Okay, I got it. Yeah, it's a joke Audrey it's funny because I'm funny, you know, it doesn't matter because there's one thing
01:20:06That's mightier than the pen and it's called a fucking handgun. Oh my god. So for heckling me Audrey
01:20:13Don't do this you die first
01:20:17Oh
01:20:23This man here you want to rob from us, right?
01:20:41How did you find us I don't know I took every precaution we
01:20:46Only used cash their phones
01:20:52Morgan
01:20:54Did you call your parents again
01:20:58Yes, I had to my father was gonna think that I was dead if he found out about Roger
01:21:03So I went to a souvenir shop. I got a burner phone. I picked it up one second
01:21:07Hi, I'm alive and then I threw it in the dumpster. They can't trace a call. That's less than two minutes
01:21:11Yeah, that's not a thing. It's not a thing
01:21:14Well, I know that now
01:21:17My god, he's coming back to life he's reanimating
01:21:25Okay, it's a phone that makes more sense it needs a thumbprint
01:21:30There's the thumb seriously. I'm standing so I can't do it. Oh my god
01:21:39It says text me when you get the package
01:21:43Tell him we have the package and ask where the drop is. Oh
01:21:47Shit it's locked again. Hold on. Oh
01:21:51Oh, he said bring it to operation Albrecht, okay, what's that operation Albrecht checking his emails?
01:22:00He's been communicating with someone in Hunter Pierce so a gay porn star
01:22:06Highland was planning to buy the drive from Duffer. They called it operation Albrecht
01:22:11It's going down tomorrow night
01:22:12There's a gala in Berlin at the Museum of Technology text him back and say we'll meet them there with a drive
01:22:21Phone is locked again. I need the thumbprint, you know it forget it
01:22:28Okay, oh the thumb
01:22:34Oh my god
01:22:40Oh
01:22:44Thumbs up
01:22:51So here's the plan we go to Berlin
01:22:55Wait, we're we're gonna walk right into this gala
01:22:58I know we pose as two people on the guest list the Canadian ambassador and his wife. Oh won't people know what they look like
01:23:05No one ever remembers what Canadians look like they land at Tegel Airport at 2 p.m
01:23:10Can I do an accent? Please don't I know what I'm gonna do. Oh, yeah, is you the Molly case?
01:23:16Perfect. I'm Bill. I
01:23:18Know what you're thinking had a bloke from the East End get all the way to Berlin, Germany
01:23:23Well, I will tell you on the way to the car. I said, what are you doing there Queen?
01:23:29She said I was bored up in that castle. I had to get out
01:23:34Okay, let's drive they know we're being robbed
01:23:47Please no, I'm a little girl. Oh my wife. He's dead. It is a new camera sleep. Look I came up with a story
01:24:04I
01:24:23Hope I look like the Canadian ambassador's wife. I hope I look like Chris Kirkpatrick from NSYNC. Am I done? Yeah, you're good
01:24:30I just think if one of us is changing her look then the other should change her look for disguise reasons like you're about
01:24:35to look like
01:24:37Amanda Mullicae and I'm about to look like
01:24:41Shit I'm about to look like you
01:24:44Not that it's a bad look. It's just we switch places
01:24:46So if they're looking for a blonde and a brunette that we're still gonna be a blonde and a brunette. Oh, we fucked up
01:24:51I hope this isn't what gets us killed tonight. No
01:24:55Hey, we're not gonna die tonight. You're right. We're not but if we do just
01:25:00We're not but if we do, oh my god, I know a lot of
01:25:04Horrific stuff has happened this week, but um
01:25:07It has been the best week of my life
01:25:11Really yeah, just being out here and like on this adventure with you
01:25:17Doing the right thing and nobody's judging me. I don't know
01:25:22Do you normally feel judged?
01:25:24You know that thing that you said to me about me being a little much. It's not the first time I've heard that
01:25:30You're not a little much. I am I am a little much. I'm a lot much. No, no, you're not
01:25:36The only people who don't think so are you and my parents? It's cuz everyone else is born
01:25:48I'm so proud of you
01:25:57So don't don't die
01:26:01We'll be dead and that'll be a waste
01:26:19Morgan are you in position? Yeah, I was born in position. Yes. Well, everyone's born in position
01:26:25That's why they call it the fetal position. Great. Yeah, I just got that
01:26:30Amanda
01:26:32Ethan
01:26:33Just act natural. Just another normal night
01:26:37Yeah
01:26:39Performing with Cirque du Soleil is actually a top three dream of mine. I'm highly prepared for this mission
01:26:43I was a CIT in acrobatics and clowning camp
01:26:46It was competitive and I excelled once again Morgan. You're not performing with a troop
01:26:50Your job is to stay backstage and watch the surveillance. We need to locate the buyer. Okay, but but
01:26:57Not just for one song
01:26:59No, I hear you
01:27:01But wouldn't I be better able to identify the mark if I was spinning around on that silver spinning thingy?
01:27:05No copy that but what if I was on the trapeze in which I am trained?
01:27:09No, that's a wrap. I'm just standing down
01:27:12Oh
01:27:27You guys you guys I see someone suspicious, okay
01:27:31Stay calm. Can you describe them? Okay
01:27:34It's got an insane twirly mustache. It's got big bushy scary eyebrows and
01:27:39Yeah
01:27:40Yeah, yep. He's holding a bag of money. Ladies and gentlemen, we have our buyer. Yeah, I think that guy's part of the show
01:27:47Yeah, Morgan. I don't think an actual bad guy would look like an evil. Mr. Monopoly. I
01:27:52Had to go with my gut on this. I'm sorry
01:28:09And
01:28:14I was mistaken. He is a part of the show a repeat. He is a part of the show
01:28:25What that's time in Marcia Drew's fake parents whoever they are
01:28:39Morgan you're backstage. I've been blown
01:28:44Who has blown you Morgan it's not funny. I agree. There's nothing funny about you being blown
01:28:51Okay, you two stay together and in plain sight until I get back you uh, you put the drives on my safe very soon
01:28:57Is it the same place as last time?
01:28:59you'll see I
01:29:02Don't actually mean like you will
01:29:06Please just go. Yeah
01:29:09Oh
01:29:22Votin no smoking, sir. Ah
01:29:26Sorry awful habit, I know
01:29:29One one I don't smoke sir. Neither do I
01:29:39Oh
01:29:56Sebastian especially got a text
01:30:03Sebastian's everything, okay
01:30:10I
01:30:35Morgan Sebastian's not responding. Oh my god. That's really bad
01:30:39We're not I don't want to scare you could mean anything the buyer texted me. I have to go meet him or her
01:30:44Thank you. I was gonna say women can be terrorists too. We can do anything
01:30:48We put our minds to can you see if you can get eyes on Sebastian? He couldn't have gotten far. Okay?
01:30:55Yeah, in that case I am gonna climb the ladder I know
01:31:00Morgan trapeze platform really is the best vantage point Morgan
01:31:09Oh
01:31:26Audra my god
01:31:28Fuck
01:31:36Audrey the goldfinch has reached her very precarious perch. I think I'm about I don't know 2,000 feet off the ground
01:31:45Ha
01:31:49Now
01:31:52Oh
01:31:57Okay, wait, what what excuse me give me the ladder
01:32:07True you're supposed to be dead. Yeah, that's right on the edge
01:32:12But the idea of you being out there kept me alive
01:32:16I'm here to save you
01:32:18Me gonna stop Henshaw what Sebastian? No, he's he's helping us
01:32:23Audrey, did do you know about Highland?
01:32:27Yeah
01:32:28Sebastian works for Highland
01:32:32No, that's not possible why would he come and risk his life why what why would he get fired?
01:32:36What did he tell you did he tell you you're here to find a buyer for the drive?
01:32:39You're just here so we can kill me. He was using you as bait to find me
01:32:45He knew that I'd come back for you
01:32:48But I'd never let him hurt you
01:32:50And now here I am
01:32:53Yeah
01:32:55Audrey I have some bad news
01:32:56Not a dead Jedi is still alive and she is on the other trapeze platform right now
01:33:03She might have a bomb on her. I don't know. Maybe this is one of the terrorist attacks. That doesn't really make any sense
01:33:08She doesn't seem like a suicide bomber
01:33:10Girl is high self-esteem
01:33:12so full of herself
01:33:15The point is Audrey I'm looking at her and she definitely does want to kill me and that she's gonna come after you
01:33:25So I think I gotta fix this
01:33:32I can do this. Remember your training from the New Jersey Circus Center
01:33:44Oh
01:34:15Oh
01:34:17Could I just ask you something anything
01:34:22Did you leave that drive in my apartment because you thought that I would never leave
01:34:26That I wouldn't grow that I wouldn't go anywhere
01:34:29Did you send me to Vienna because you just assumed that I wouldn't question anything. No, no. No, I mean I
01:34:38Underestimated you you hurt me
01:34:42I'm so sorry. I
01:34:46Had to
01:34:48But now seeing everything that you've done
01:34:53I've never loved you more
01:34:57You love me I love you Audrey Stockman
01:35:11Oh
01:35:15What was the name of the nun that beat you in whatever fucking orphanage
01:35:41Oh
01:36:11I
01:36:13Oh
01:36:40Audrey Audrey
01:36:43I did it. We're safe
01:36:48Audrey
01:36:50Audrey
01:36:56Boss give you any spy gadgets. Oh, yeah Canadian now. Hey, hey good. Oh
01:37:05I wouldn't open that. It's gonna blow my head off
01:37:09Huh?
01:37:11Thousand guesses never would have landed on thumb anything else double-o sexy
01:37:20The drive isn't in there. Oh
01:37:26Come on
01:37:29Hey
01:37:31You can trust me
01:37:35Really cuz he said not to trust anyone
01:37:41Oh
01:37:45Audrey step back. He's with them. Yeah. Hey, bro. What do you step away from him? He's gonna kill all of us
01:37:52He said the same thing about you
01:37:59Hello fair remove the target fuck you dead
01:38:11Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on. Hold on. Hold you. Listen to me
01:38:16Drew is working with Highland
01:38:19Sebastian was working with Highland. That's a lie. Audrey. He was working with tougher to Sebastian was working with tougher
01:38:25Drew's the one that sent the assassin to the gymnasium
01:38:27He would have let you die Sebastian sent the assassin to the gymnasium Sebastian want to let you die
01:38:32Okay, everything I say you did you can't just say I did I can't cuz I've got the gun
01:38:41You
01:38:48Okay, it's all right, it's okay
01:38:56So sorry, I dragged you into this
01:38:59I know, okay
01:39:01Can we please just go home? Yeah. Okay. I'm gonna take care of you
01:39:11You're looking for this
01:39:15Audrey that's
01:39:17That's cute, but I don't think you know what you're doing. God, you really do still underestimate me Audrey. Come on
01:39:26Audrey
01:39:37Morgan always so dramatic
01:39:41Oh
01:39:54Better hurry finish me off
01:40:00That's right, you never finished anything
01:40:05To quote a text I got hey there it's over
01:40:12Sorry Audrey Audrey don't I
01:40:19Lied
01:40:36Little much
01:40:41Okay
01:40:47Sebastian
01:40:56Okay, these vests they they save your life, but they do not prevent you from breaking ribs
01:41:11Oh
01:41:19What is the Heimlich maneuver what is the Heimlich maneuver that's it
01:41:26That's a long number
01:41:28Hello mom, I'm alive
01:41:33Yeah, I'm gonna put you on speaker
01:41:35We turn the volume down put in
01:41:38Sweetie like input input. I don't see input. Sorry. I'm calling from an international spies phone spy. Who's a spy?
01:41:46Inputs doing nothing. He is an international spy and his name is Sebastian Henshaw
01:41:55What can she not reveal my identity, uh, yeah, she tells him everything I
01:42:03I love you
01:42:09Sebastian Henshaw's phone. This is Morgan speaking. Where's Henshaw? Oh
01:42:15My god, is this who I think it is? How could I possibly know who you think this is?
01:42:22Wow, I'm letting
01:42:24Audrey and Sebastian have a little bit of a moment right now
01:42:27You know what I mean
01:42:29Tell him to call me back. No, no, it's okay. I think I've proven myself a trustworthy
01:42:33Junior agent. Why don't you give me the message? Yeah, okay
01:42:37You may tell him this that he can come back to the office on Monday. Really? Oh my gosh, that's the best
01:42:44Thank you. He's gonna be so happy. Thank you so much Monday. Ah Monday's tough for me, though
01:42:50okay, no, no, I have a call back for a progresso commercial, but
01:42:54You know what fuck it I'm gonna cancel it I'm not talking about you Morgan do not show up on Monday
01:42:58Okay, I won't come in on Monday. Gosh, I wouldn't dream of it
01:43:03Great. Thank you
01:43:06What do you like in your coffee?
01:43:08So when people ask you about your first trip to Europe, I'm gonna have to tell them the truth
01:43:13It definitely wasn't boring
01:43:16No
01:43:19But
01:43:21I I didn't get to do everything that I wanted to do. Yeah, what do you forget?
01:43:34No, no, no, oh my god, I'm so sorry. I thought that you and I maybe no, I'm sorry
01:43:39I was going for the physical pain of my check. Okay, then suck it up
01:43:49You
01:44:04Hey
01:44:05All for this happening love this. I'm sorry to interrupt
01:44:08I just talked to the mi6 lady and she said that you would know what to do with the drive. I have it this time
01:44:14You told us to keep it somewhere safe, right? So
01:44:18I finally swallowed it big personal victory of mine
01:44:22Well, we we need to destroy it. Yeah as soon as she clears
01:44:28You know, I mean
01:44:30I I should speak to my boss. Yep. Bye now
01:44:49Yes, yes, yes
01:44:55Everybody got a 9
01:44:56Everybody is a bad boy. Not everybody wanna shine
01:45:00Everybody drinking champagne. Not everybody is the shade
01:45:04Everybody is the big thing. Not everybody is the boss
01:45:07Everybody rocking go change
01:45:18Oh
01:45:28Happy birthday. Don't worry. Got it. Okay blow baby blow
01:45:34Well, I hope your wish was to be entertained
01:45:38Whoa guys good. It's just a microphone
01:45:41although
01:45:42fair warning
01:45:44You may be blown away two three four hit it
01:45:49In Audrey, it's so good to be here with you in Tokyo my steamy little edamame
01:45:55I have loved you since the udon of time. It's Japanese food puns. That's the entertainment. I'm going to
01:46:04Sashimi over here to these very handsome ramen
01:46:08Do you like my food puns or do you think they're teriyaki?
01:46:11Audrey, I love you so much
01:46:14Happy birthday, baby
01:46:17I am it
01:46:19You shouldn't have and yet I did. Oh
01:46:24Okay, Morgan. It's time. Shoo. My my my look at you
01:46:28Let's do a little call-and-response for Audrey's birthday. Shall we when I say happy you say birthday happy
01:46:35happy
01:46:37Happy birthday
01:46:46Happy birthday
01:47:17Religion
01:47:22Too busy getting Botox
01:47:24Good girls are waiting in the penis and the bad girls are laughing cuz they know he's a dick
01:47:29Good girl is addicted by cosmetics bad girls. Now, they got pockets just to get it
01:47:34Good girls causing no sins
01:47:36Bad girls killing their queens
01:47:38Bad girls breaking wood legs
01:47:40Good girls getting bad breaks
01:47:46Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do
01:47:48Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do
01:47:50Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do
01:47:52Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do
01:47:54Good girls worried about drama
01:47:56Run away, scared, feeling wrong
01:47:58Bad girls running deep, heavy on the bass
01:48:00Heavy on the bass, yeah
01:48:02Heavy on the bass
01:48:04Bad girls running deep, heavy on the bass
01:48:0668, shaving no plates
01:48:08I have known Audrey for maybe 15 years
01:48:10And in that time she has stayed exactly the same
01:48:12She has not changed one bit
01:48:14She has not changed one bit
01:48:16And so I think I kind of know her like the back of my hand
01:48:18And she's a very simple person
01:48:20And she just doesn't really have like the mental capacity to carry out something like this
01:48:24I don't think
01:48:26She's a dear friend
01:48:28They said something about like
01:48:30Like they were doing this for a guy or something
01:48:32Oh yeah like someone died in front of them or something
01:48:34Like one of their boyfriends or something
01:48:36I don't know it was for love
01:48:38I don't know
01:48:40Looking in the mirror and seeing the face of somebody
01:48:42Who was friends with her
01:48:44Has been really tough
01:48:46And I think we all have to remember the real victims
01:48:48In situations like this
01:48:50Are the friends
01:48:52Are the childhood friends who are there from day one
01:48:54Who have to carry this burden
01:48:56And will have to carry
01:48:58Sorry
01:49:00And will have to carry this burden
01:49:02For a long time to come
01:49:04If you could speak to them right now
01:49:06What would you say to them?
01:49:08Give them a piece of my mind
01:49:10Give me my bum bag back
01:49:12Yeah give me my bum bag back for starters
01:49:14My passport, my money, my necklace, my keys, my phone
01:49:16Everything
01:49:18The bitches took everything
01:49:20I
01:49:22I don't think that Audrey did do this
01:49:24But Audrey if you did do this
01:49:28I forgive you
01:49:30If anyone else back in Australia
01:49:32Is watching you right now
01:49:34What do you want to say to them?
01:49:36We're having such a good time
01:49:38We're on TV
01:50:08We're on TV
01:50:10We're on TV
01:50:12We're on TV
01:50:14We're on TV
01:50:16We're on TV
01:50:18We're on TV
01:50:20We're on TV
01:50:22We're on TV
01:50:24We're on TV
01:50:26We're on TV
01:50:28We're on TV
01:50:30We're on TV
01:50:32We're on TV
01:50:34We're on TV
01:50:36We're on TV
01:50:38We're on TV
01:50:40We're on TV
01:50:42We're on TV
01:50:44We're on TV
01:50:46We're on TV
01:50:48We're on TV
01:50:50We're on TV
01:50:52We're on TV
01:50:54We're on TV
01:50:56We're on TV
01:50:58We're on TV
01:51:00We're on TV
01:51:02We're on TV
01:51:04We're on TV
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01:51:10We're on TV
01:51:12We're on TV
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01:51:20We're on TV
01:51:22We're on TV
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01:51:30We're on TV
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01:51:40We're on TV
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01:52:10We're on TV
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01:56:00We're on TV