Macho Nachos - You Suck at Cooking (episode 26)
Category
🦄
CreativityTranscript
00:00 You suck at cooking, yeah you totally suck!
00:04 Hey everybody, Christmas is coming, and nothing says Christmas like nachos.
00:08 So today we're gonna make macho nachos.
00:10 These are the toughest nachos on the block for strongman only, so ladies, I'm afraid
00:15 you're gonna have to turn off your computer.
00:17 Please do that now.
00:21 Great, now that it's just us tough guys, let's get into it.
00:24 The first step to making macho nachos is to moisturize.
00:27 A good moisturizer adds a layer of protection to the epidermis, keeping your surface epithelium
00:32 and periderm tissues soft, fresh, and smelling great.
00:36 Moisturize!
00:37 The next step is to get a small pan that can go in the oven.
00:39 Line it with foil if you want to make cleanup easier, or if you want to transfer it to a
00:42 plate.
00:43 Pan!
00:44 Make sure you're wearing comfortable pants, like yoga pants.
00:47 They allow you to be flexible and quick and nimble on your feet.
00:50 Pants!
00:51 Guess what?
00:52 If you're making macho nachos, it means you like sports.
00:55 So let's get our game day colors on.
00:57 I'm gonna throw a little turquoise for all the teams that play near the ocean.
01:01 I'm gonna throw in some dark red for the Revlon Coyotes.
01:03 And I'm gonna throw in some glitter for the Arizona Glitterbacks.
01:07 Sports!
01:08 Make sure you let that dry.
01:11 Throw in just enough nachos to create a solid bottom layer.
01:14 Grab some cheese, get out your shredder, press.
01:23 Once you get that cheddar shredded, you're gonna add a small layer of cheese to the nachos.
01:28 Or a thick layer, whatever you like.
01:30 Take a tomato and punch it in the face.
01:32 Delicately sprinkle a few tomatoes on.
01:34 Take a red onion, turn it into black beans.
01:37 Put a few of those on there.
01:39 Don't be afraid to get precise with how you want things placed.
01:43 Sprinkle a bit of chopped green onion.
01:44 And then glob a few bits of the chunky part of a salsa.
01:48 Use a fan or contouring brush to spread it out until it's perfect.
01:52 And then we repeat!
01:54 Nachos, cheddar, black beans and tomatoes, sprinkling of green onion, just a little bit
01:59 of cheese on top.
02:01 Onions on 350, we're gonna take these and put 'em in.
02:07 While the nachos are cooking, it's a good time to write a poem.
02:09 A haiku is an excellent way to express your feelings, especially your feelings about nachos.
02:15 Nachos in the pan.
02:16 Crispy wafers.
02:17 Full of dreams.
02:19 I chew and I feel.
02:23 Nachos have been in for about 10 minutes.
02:25 Cheese is melted.
02:26 The nachos are getting a little bit brown.
02:28 Take some guacamole.
02:30 Find a place that's got a nice cheese barrier and put it right on top in a pile so you can
02:33 dip.
02:34 Do the same thing with some salsa.
02:36 Now tap your way over to the fridge and get your sour cream.
02:49 Except in this case, I'm using Greek yogurt.
02:51 Tastes great, but like, maybe half the calories or something.
02:54 Put in a couple flowers for extra toughness.
02:56 A single spritz of fancy perfume.
02:59 And there you have it.
03:00 Macho nachos.
03:01 The toughest nachos in the world.
03:03 No weaklings.