Deluxe Cheese and Crackers - You Suck at Cooking (episode 6)
Category
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CreativityTranscript
00:00 You suck at cooking and you suck at a whole bunch of other things that I'm not going to
00:07 list off right here, on account of the fact that I don't really want to make you look
00:11 bad in front of your friends and also on account of the fact that I don't know you in real
00:15 life which makes it really kind of difficult to get into specifics but if I had to speculate
00:19 then I would probably say that you suck at crochet and also building a jet and you probably
00:23 can't fly a helicopter yet and you suck at traveling through time or putting on your
00:27 pants two legs at a time but maybe we could hang out so that I could get a better sense
00:31 of what you really suck at so that I could better criticize you in a meaningful way without
00:35 random speculation because generalizations don't hold up under the circumstance and all
00:38 my credibility is on the line so call me sometime yeah you totally suck
00:45 okay the way I see it though is I did exactly what you said and you're just not happy because
00:55 I'm actually consciously trying not to yell at you right now okay look do you have this
01:00 yeah here see that Sands of Solomon what I asked for what'd you give me October Harvest
01:07 or some shit too much cream it tastes like piss but I'm gonna drink it anyway but I thought
01:12 oh shut up Devin do you want to get your credit or oh hey um today we're gonna make really
01:20 deluxe cheese and crackers hmm we're gonna need is a really thin cracker you need a slab
01:27 of avocado I'm just gonna take it right off the top I think this is basically how the
01:34 wheel was discovered it's honestly too much but I'm going with it because I love avocado
01:39 let's make it half a wheel I'm just gonna eat that you want to take some triple cream
01:44 brie make sure you only buy enough for one or two crackers at a time and make sure that
01:50 the paper looks really gross put that on there chop up some green onion oh I learned something
02:07 you're not supposed to do this with the knife don't do that sprinkle it on top you know
02:17 how I feel about homogeny make it homogenous that's too much of that I'm gonna put on just
02:22 a little bit of salt I keep my salt in this open bag so that it stays fresh I'm temporarily
02:27 without a pepper grinder so I'm just gonna take a couple peppercorns and hit him with
02:35 the ratchet cuz I don't want a hammer yet but I'm saving up oh shit that's that's a
02:43 nutmeg where are you peppercorns son of a bitch come on or maybe it's cloves I'm not
02:54 sure or maybe it's close cloves I don't know I don't know much about ingredients so you
03:04 use pepper please we'll just pretend that's pepper and shit is that it you could put on
03:12 a little hot sauce if you want this is basically like that sandwich I made before fuck so really
03:17 that's it this this thing is ridiculously good if you encounter a friend who doesn't
03:23 like this it is valid grounds for submitting your friendship resignation papers and if
03:28 you've never done that before or you don't know the text I posted it on the Yusuke cooking
03:32 Facebook page so hopefully you won't have to use it hmm that nutmeg or clover whatever
03:44 it is might be better than pepper hmm I might have to redo this your mom
03:50 you suck at cooking oh my god you suck you suck at cooking oh my god you suck so much at cooking you suck so much.
04:15 (electronic music)