I Didn't Mean It Like That Managing Meltdowns Part. 2 - Dr. Dharius Daniels
Transcript
00:00 Hey family, Pastor Darius here. You're getting ready to watch part 2 of a series called Managing Meltdowns.
00:07 I want to have a question for you. Have you ever dealt with pressure?
00:10 If you have, man, pressure can bust pipes and cause stuff that's supposed to stay contained to be exposed.
00:17 I want to teach you in this message how to manage pressure properly.
00:21 I believe it's going to add tremendous value to your life.
00:23 I have one request. If it blesses you, just press that share button, text it, email it to somebody that might need this word.
00:30 I love you. Enjoy the message.
00:32 Absolutely incredible. Well, I want to read a couple of verses of scripture today.
00:40 Y'all feel like talking back to the preacher today or nah? Y'all tired? Y'all good?
00:45 Job chapter 2 verse number 7 says this, "So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord and afflicted Job with painful sores from the sole of his feet down to the crown of his head.
00:58 Then Job took a piece of pottery and scraped himself with it as he sat among the ashes.
01:03 And his wife said to him, 'Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die.'"
01:15 I want to stop the reading of scripture right there and tag a title to this text.
01:19 I know some of you are like, "I need some understanding."
01:23 I want to tag a title to this text, and I want to talk from this subject in our time together today.
01:28 I didn't mean it like that.
01:31 I want everybody that's ever said anything you didn't quite mean at the wrong time to clap your hands and thank God in advance.
01:39 He's getting ready to speak to you.
01:42 I didn't mean it like that.
01:45 As many of you know, I was reared and raised in a small town called Kilmichael, Mississippi.
01:50 Population a little bit over 400 people.
01:53 One full-time police officer, one part-time police officer that drove my bus during the day, covered the night shift at the station at night.
02:01 Zero stoplights in the city.
02:04 One doctor, and if he wasn't at the clinic, you could pull up at his house.
02:08 High school graduating class of 32 people.
02:14 You didn't have to say it like that.
02:19 But I was reared and raised in that cultural context, and every cultural context has some colloquialisms.
02:24 There are some things that you heard people say frequently based on where you were reared and raised.
02:31 And one of the phrases that I would hear frequently may be a phrase you heard where you grew up.
02:37 Here it is. It's a weird way of saying something wise.
02:40 Here it is. You can lead a horse to water.
02:46 But you can't make him drink.
02:51 This is interesting because this saying is simply suggesting that you can give people exposure to something, but you can't give them an appetite.
03:03 That you can show them a picture of what's possible for them, but you can't make them pant for it.
03:10 You can show them what they can do, but you can't make them want to.
03:14 You can see better in them, but you can't make them want better for themselves.
03:19 Because most people don't live at the level of their potential. They live at the level of their standard.
03:26 And some people have standards that are beneath their potential.
03:30 And you and I who love people, who are invested in people, who want to pull out the best in people, need to realize and recognize the only thing you can do.
03:40 The only thing you've been called to do. The only thing you're capable of doing.
03:44 The only thing you've been anointed to do is to lead them to water.
03:49 Did you hear what I just said? And this revelation should ease some frustration in some of our life because some of us have been trying to make people drink who are not thirsty.
04:01 I thought y'all would talk better than me at the 12 o'clock.
04:04 It means that you and I have to get a revelation that we should never give up on people.
04:10 But you hit a season where you got to give people up to God.
04:14 I'm not giving up on you, but I've made all the contribution I'm able to make in this season.
04:19 Come on, because you got a revelation. There are five types of people.
04:23 I can't help. I can't help people who don't want help.
04:27 I can't help people who don't want help now.
04:30 I can't help people who don't want help from me.
04:33 I can't help people who don't who only want help their way.
04:37 I'm not talking to me. I can't help people who need help and don't know they need help.
04:43 And I know how to help them. But they're trying to tell me how to help them.
04:47 What if they knew how to help themselves? They would need my help.
04:55 You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.
05:00 And this means you've got to be conscious and careful that you do not interrupt people
05:05 and rescue them from trials that God is using to create thirst.
05:12 Did you hear what I just said? You got to be careful that you don't rescue people
05:17 from trials that God is using to create thirst.
05:20 Sometimes people have to go through a trial to create some thirst for better.
05:26 Here's the way David put it. David said this about himself.
05:30 He said, "It was good that I was afflicted, that I might learn your decrees."
05:36 You got to understand that some people only get education through affliction.
05:42 But you got to be able to trust that the same God that preserved you in your silly season
05:49 until you learn your lesson is the same God that will preserve them in their silly season
05:56 when they learn their lesson. I don't want to hear from people who have never made any mistakes
06:01 and you made all the right choices and you're supposed to be where you are right now.
06:06 This next 30 seconds of this sermon is for people that's honest enough to say,
06:10 "I should have blew it. I shouldn't even be here right now."
06:15 As a matter of fact, there's some stuff that if it ever came out in the light,
06:20 I'd have to throw up my one Baptist finger and exit the building.
06:24 But he looked beyond my faults and saw my needs.
06:30 Some people need affliction to get an education.
06:44 And when you love them, you'll want to rescue them from pain they need to change.
06:52 Because you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.
06:58 That's one colloquialism. But here's another. Maybe you heard this one too.
07:01 It's not, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink."
07:03 This one is, "Bless your heart."
07:09 Now, this phrase has a multifaceted meaning.
07:18 And the tone they say it in determines what they mean by it.
07:25 One tone of "bless your heart" is an expression of endearment.
07:31 It's when you realize and recognize somebody's done something that they didn't have to do.
07:37 They've been uniquely generous. They made some kind of unique contribution to your life.
07:41 And you express your appreciation and affection by saying, "Bless your heart."
07:46 But there's another way that phrase is used.
07:51 And that phrase is not just used as an expression of endearment.
07:55 Sometimes it's a statement of sympathy.
08:00 One is, "Bless your heart." The other is, "Bless your heart."
08:07 It means that you got a revelation of a limitation that you have when it comes to investing in their own development.
08:15 It means that you realize and recognize, "I can't put in what God left out."
08:23 Did you hear what I just said?
08:26 It means that you realize that your situation requires a degree and dimension of intervention that is beyond my pay grade.
08:32 You're going to have to get somebody else to do it.
08:34 Bless your heart!
08:38 That's not the only one, though. I got another one.
08:41 And this one is more salient to this sermon.
08:44 This is more relevant to this revelation.
08:46 And this one is, "Pressure bursts a pipe."
08:51 This phrase is an expression of what potentially can happen when a pipe is under consistent pressure.
09:00 See, it's one thing to be under periodic pressure.
09:03 I want to know, am I talking to anybody that knows what it feels like to be under persistent pressure?
09:09 I want to know, am I talking to anybody that has ever wondered in the recesses of your soul,
09:14 "God, what's up with this? Can I just get one season where I don't have to stress about something?
09:20 Can I get one season where I'm not worried about something?
09:24 Can I get one season where everything go right? Come on!
09:27 I'm not expecting everything to be a flowery bed of ease, but every time I turn around, there's pressure!"
09:36 And when a pipe is under consistent pressure, stuff that should come out the right way.
09:44 Let me go to this side. Let me see.
09:46 I'm going to preach to the real section. Where the real section at?
09:51 I said, when a pipe get under pressure, something that should stay on the inside.
10:02 This the real section right here? Right?
10:05 I said, when a pipe is under pressure, stuff that would come out in a controlled fashion.
10:13 Come on now! Water comes out of the faucet at a controlled fashion.
10:18 When it's under pressure, stuff that would come out in a controlled fashion comes out in an uncontrollable fashion.
10:30 And I want to know, is there anybody honest enough to admit that some stuff came out the wrong way?
10:41 Not because you're a bad person, but because you've been through a bad season.
10:46 My God! And I pray that God sends some people into your life that do not define your book by a chapter.
10:55 I pray God sends some people into your life that do not label you as a bad person because you went through a bad season.
11:08 Pressure. And have you ever been under consistent pressure?
11:14 I want to tell you, pressure is an unavoidable reality of life.
11:19 Asking to get out from underneath pressure is asking God to give you an exit from this earth.
11:27 Come on, I want to pay. Jesus said, you'll know the truth and the truth will set you free.
11:31 That word truth means reality. Ignorance is not bliss.
11:34 I need you to be clear on what the reality of life is like.
11:38 There is not a season you're going to go through where you will not deal with some type of pressure.
11:44 And if you can get this revelation, it's going to ease your frustration because frustration is always a result of failed expectations.
11:51 It's when you find something you didn't expect or you don't find something you did expect that leads to frustration.
11:57 But when you write, that's why some of us are frustrated with people.
12:01 But when you right size your expectation, it frees your frustration.
12:05 There's never a season you will go through where you will not deal with pressure.
12:12 The students under pressure about taking a test, the teacher got pressure grading the test.
12:17 Somebody is under pressure because they can't find a house.
12:19 Somebody is under pressure because they got a house and they don't want it anymore.
12:22 Somebody is under pressure because they looking for a job.
12:25 And somebody else is under pressure because they got to go to one tomorrow that's getting on their last nerve.
12:30 Somebody is under pressure because they trying to find a boy.
12:33 They're trying to find a roof.
12:35 They're trying to find a spouse.
12:37 And somebody else is under pressure because they got one they thought they wanted and now they got them.
12:41 They realize I'm trying to get out.
12:43 Everybody is under pressure.
12:48 But they used to say in Kilmichael, Mississippi, that he will not put more on you than you can bear.
12:54 A proper theology would be he will not put more on you than he will help you bear.
12:59 And I want to tell you if you are experiencing it, you've been built for it.
13:04 God Almighty, that God never allows you to experience something without making an assessment regarding whether or not you got the capability to handle it.
13:15 And some of you are saying you can't handle it and that is an indication that you don't have a revelation of what's on the inside of you.
13:22 You are saying you can't handle it and God saying I put something on the inside of you.
13:27 You ain't even know what's on the inside of you.
13:29 And I'm speaking to somebody in this season and I want you to know God is getting ready to introduce you to a version of you you hadn't even met yet.
13:39 This pressure is not about to destroy you.
13:42 This pressure is about to develop you.
13:45 There's a stronger you that's about to emerge.
13:48 There's a wiser you that's about to emerge.
13:56 I never let you experience something without making an assessment regarding whether or not you got the capability to handle it.
14:07 Pressure.
14:09 And since it's an inevitable part of life, I need God to give me the wisdom to manage it wisely.
14:15 Because I don't want the pressure to cause me to have a breakdown and I have a meltdown.
14:19 Because if the pressure causes me to have a breakdown and I have a meltdown, the meltdown creates three types of conundrums in my life.
14:25 If the pressure causes me to have a breakdown that creates a meltdown, what ends up happening is I can sabotage my own success.
14:34 Because some sabotage doesn't come from the inner me, it comes from the inner me.
14:40 And there's something I taught you called the law of first mention, which means when you're reading the Bible, specifically in the book of Genesis, you see something in the book of Genesis for the first time.
14:49 That is an indication of how you're going to see that reality played out all throughout scripture.
14:53 So the way the devil shows up in Genesis is the way he's going to show up in Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, and it's the way he's going to show up in your life.
15:00 He showed up in a garden. He showed up as a snake in a garden.
15:04 He showed up as a snake in a garden. And in your life, he's going to show up as a snake in a garden.
15:09 I taught you this before. You're not surprised when you see a snake in a garden because the devil shows up looking like he belong.
15:17 If he showed up looking like the devil, you wouldn't give him access.
15:21 So sometimes he shows up looking like a disciple named Judas.
15:33 And what did he do? He shows us in Genesis that he can't sabotage your future.
15:37 He can just only influence you in the sabotage and it yourself.
15:41 He didn't make Adam and Eve eat the fruit, but he influenced them to make decisions that were sabotage your own success.
15:48 Somebody needs to be shouting right here because it lets you know the devil's not in your way.
15:56 Come on, you're not waiting for the devil to get out of your way for things to change.
16:01 These can change for you right now when you get a revelation that my season of self-sabotage is over.
16:09 I must say that one more time until they get in your head, your heart.
16:14 I must say it until they get in your toes. Your season of self-sabotage is over.
16:21 I must say that one more time. Your season of self-sabotage is over.
16:29 I'm telling somebody who's gone. This this part of the sermon is not for people that is taking advantage of every opportunity.
16:37 This part of the sermon is not for people that have walked through every door.
16:41 This part of the sermon is for people that are wrestling with guilt and anxiety because you feel like you missed some things in a previous season that you wish you could go back and walk through those doors again.
16:55 I came to tell you your God is a God that spins the block.
17:04 Did you hear what I just said? I said the story of the prodigal son is a revelation that the father's got enough to cover you the second time when you blow it the first time.
17:18 Gee, Joel calls him the redeemer of time. What does redeem mean? It means to buy back.
17:25 It doesn't mean that God gives you more time. It means God is so good. He'll take the time you got left and he'll do so much in the time you got left that it make up for the time you wasted.
17:38 Let me see if you can catch this. He can open one door and he can do so much in one door that it will make up for 10 doors that you miss.
17:48 I don't know who this is for, but I hear a door swinging open.
17:57 You have no idea how quick he can do it. You have no idea how fast he can do it.
18:03 An email is coming. A text is coming. A call is coming. A DM is coming. God is getting ready to spin the block.
18:11 And if you believe he's spinning the block for you, take 15 seconds and give him a spin the block praise.
18:36 And is there anybody here that will say this time when you bring it around, I'm ready. This time when you bring it around, I'm going to steward it right.
18:45 This time when you open that door, I'm not going to walk through it. I'm going to run through it.
19:01 I got to learn how to handle this pressure because I don't want to have a breakdown that cause a meltdown to sabotage my own success.
19:11 I got to manage pressure also, Marlon, because my inability to manage pressure will cause me to have breakdowns that create meltdowns that make me do and say things that undermine the intimacy of significant relationships.
19:28 I really don't have time to unpack this the way I want to because I really, for many believers, the last two words requires some revisiting of your theology of relationships.
19:43 Because some people have a, they got a problem with me saying significant relationships because they confuse everybody being equally valuable to God with everybody added equal value to you.
19:58 Everybody is equally valuable to God, but everybody don't add equal value to you. And you have to be able to discern which relationships God have sent into my life that are significant relationships that add a unique kind of value.
20:17 And I need to steward those relationships properly. And that's why some people ain't treating you right because they think they can wake up tomorrow and find another one. Go ahead.
20:30 Find another one of me. Let me see who will talk back to, yeah, if you don't see the value in me, find another me. Let me know how that works for you.
20:50 That's what relational intelligence is all about. It's making sure you manage your relational life in a way where you don't get to the end of it and realize the people that meant the most to me got the least from me.
21:06 You get to the end of your life and realize I gave my whole life to people who are only in love with my gift. Are y'all okay? I said are y'all okay? But there are some people that are in your life that add unique value.
21:22 They're in your life for you, not for your gift. And if you don't manage meltdowns, what can end up happening is you can do things and say things under pressure that disrupt intimacy.
21:35 Instead of intimacy progressing in a linear way, intimacy, emotional closeness, instead of us getting closer together emotionally, instead of it being linear, intimacy becomes cyclical and it's like a cycle.
21:48 So instead of us growing in our intimacy and getting closer, it becomes a cycle. We have it for a season, somebody do or say something, we lose it.
21:56 Now we gotta spend a season trying to get it back. Then once we finally get it back, we have it for a season. Then somebody do something or say something, then we lost it again.
22:05 Now I gotta spend another season trying to get it back. Now once I get it back, I have it for a season. Then somebody do something or say something and I lose it because into me, into me see, you only let people see into you that you feel safe with.
22:20 And safety is seasonal. Just because I felt safe with you in one season doesn't mean I feel safe with you in this season.
22:30 Y'all alright, I got 13 minutes, that's it, y'all alright?
22:37 I wanna manage my meltdown so I don't undermine the intimacy of significant relationships. I need to manage this pressure so that it doesn't create breakdowns, it create meltdowns so that it doesn't inhibit my elevation.
22:54 God, listen to me, God being a good father will only promote you to your level of pain tolerance.
23:04 Are y'all okay this morning? He says I can only promote you to the level to which you can tolerate pain.
23:14 So you have, come on now, are you hearing what I'm saying? So he said, remember there's a front side of the blessing, there's a back side of the blessing.
23:20 More notoriety means more haters and God's like I can only elevate you not to the level to which you can handle notoriety, that's front side.
23:27 I can only elevate you to the level to which you can handle haters, that's the back side. Cause it's not the notoriety that's causing you the pain, it's the haters.
23:35 Did you hear what I just said?
23:47 My ability to manage these kinds of seasons says more than I trust God. It says to God you can trust me.
23:55 And I don't know who I'm preaching to today, but I want to know am I talking to anybody that's in a season where you're saying not only do I want to trust God, but I want to live in a way that says to God you can trust me.
24:06 You can trust me with doors, you can trust me with opportunity, you can trust me with influence, you can trust me with ministry, you can trust me with dreams and visions, you can trust me with ideas.
24:19 I want to be a person you can trust.
24:24 But in order to do that, I got to learn how to manage pressure.
24:34 And this book, the book of Job, is a textbook that can aid and assist us in doing that.
24:40 This book named Job is a part of a section of the Bible called wisdom literature.
24:46 The purpose of this section of the Bible is to impart wisdom to the godly.
24:51 God knows to live right you need ethics, but to live well you need wisdom. Come on.
24:55 And God knows that when your wisdom increases, your need for miracles decrease.
25:00 It doesn't mean you don't need miracles, it means you need less of them when you have a wisdom.
25:05 God wants you to have so much wisdom that he dedicated an entire book of the Bible to it.
25:11 He's saying what I want to do in your life requires you to not make just boss moves, you got to make wise moves.
25:17 Who am I talking to in this season?
25:20 Am I talking to anybody that says I'm in a season of life where I don't have no more time to waste?
25:25 I'm in a season of life where every move I make in this season matter.
25:29 I'm in a season of life where I'm tired of experimenting with my life.
25:33 I'm in a season where I got to make wise moves.
25:37 And the book of Job is intended to impart wisdom to the godly and this book helps us receive wisdom on how to handle Job-like seasons.
25:51 Pasidarius, what is a Job-like season?
25:57 A Job-like season is an unexpected season of adversity that you have to endure without an explanation.
26:10 Did you hear what I just said?
26:12 I said it is an unexpected season of adversity that you have to endure without an explanation.
26:20 It's one thing to be going through something and you know why.
26:24 It's another thing to be going through something and you have absolutely no idea why you are experiencing what you are experiencing.
26:39 And this book is about that reality.
26:42 We are introduced in this book to a conversation not with Job, but we're introduced to a conversation that the devil has with God.
26:49 The Bible says the devil is standing in line waiting to get an audience with God.
26:54 I ain't even got time to deal with that.
26:56 That means he's not the father's equal.
26:58 He got to stand in line like everybody else just to get an audience with the father.
27:03 He's standing in line, walks up to the father and God says, "What up with it?"
27:09 He says, "Nothing, chilling."
27:11 God says, "Where you been?"
27:13 He says, "I've been in Duluth."
27:16 "I've been in Lawrenceville."
27:19 "I've been on Candler Road."
27:21 "I've been in Buckhead."
27:22 "I've been in Bankhead."
27:23 "I've been in Marietta."
27:27 "I've been looking for somebody in life to mess up."
27:30 And God said, "Where is my church?"
27:37 I said, "And God said, 'Have you considered my servant Job?'"
27:50 He's upright.
27:52 He's blameless.
27:53 He loves me.
27:54 He loves his family.
27:56 Now, I'm confused because I'm like, "God, out of all people that you would recommend for the devil to mess with, why?"
28:06 Would you recommend that the devil mess with Job?
28:11 And God's like, "The same reason you think I should not recommend him is the very reason I can recommend him."
28:24 Because I can't trust everybody with trouble.
28:28 Y'all missed it.
28:30 Because God says to Satan, "Have you considered my servant Job?"
28:35 He said, "Yeah."
28:36 He said, "Well, why you ain't bothering him?"
28:38 He said, "Well, you got a hedge around him, his household, and everything he possesses."
28:45 "You have a hedge around him, his household, and everything he has."
28:51 "You got a hedge around him and his household and everything he got."
28:57 Y'all missed it.
28:58 It's a hedge around him, his house, and everything he got.
29:03 It's a hedge around him, his house, and everything he has.
29:12 Satan says to God that there's a hedge.
29:16 God doesn't say to Satan there's a hedge.
29:19 So here's my question.
29:20 How does Satan know there's a hedge unless he had been trying to get to Job and was not able to?
29:32 It means that before he came to God, he had been trying to get to Job and he couldn't.
29:37 And see, many of us complain about the trouble we do go through.
29:41 But you do not realize and recognize the trouble you're not going through.
29:45 Because the hedge has been protecting you from danger seen and unseen.
29:51 And I want somebody to take about 19 seconds and give God a hedge praise.
29:57 That's why you're still alive.
29:59 That's why you're still in your right mind.
30:08 God said, "You have no idea what the devil tried this week."
30:15 This week.
30:20 So the devil say, "Remove that hedge.
30:24 Let me bother that stuff."
30:27 Watch this.
30:28 "He will curse you to your face."
30:35 He said, "Stretch out your hand and strike everything that he has."
30:38 See, this means that the devil didn't have a revelation of what was in Job.
30:42 So what the devil is saying is, of course he committed.
30:48 Everything's going right.
30:53 But what Satan is saying is his commitment is conditional.
31:03 If you remove the conditions, he'll lose his commitment.
31:09 He didn't know Job had that ride or die in him.
31:18 He didn't know that Job had that ride or die in him.
31:24 That would say, "The good Lord giveth and the good Lord taketh away."
31:30 But blessed be the name of the Lord.
31:33 He knew, y'all missed it, he didn't know that Job had a Hebrew boys type commitment.
31:39 And the Hebrew boys type commitment says, "My God is able to deliver me from this."
31:45 But even if he don't, I want to know, do I have some even if he don't people in the room?
31:56 Job said, "The good Lord giveth and the good Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."
32:01 He says, "I can be mad that I lost it, but why can't I be mad that I lost something I didn't deserve to have in the first place?"
32:08 So the good Lord giveth and the good Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
32:14 So the Bible say, he come and mess with all Job's stuff.
32:20 And Job doesn't break commitment.
32:22 Chapter 2 come back, Satan pulling back up, talking to God in line again.
32:27 "God say you back?"
32:30 He say, "Yeah." He say, "What happened?"
32:33 He say, "You know what happened."
32:37 He say, "But he committed to you because I just messed with his stuff.
32:43 Let me touch him and see what happen."
32:46 God say, "Touch him, but you can't take his life."
32:50 Call it the doctrine of the sovereignty of God.
32:52 He imposes limitations on Satan.
32:56 He tell him how far he can go.
33:00 He does not have the freedom or the permission to do whatever he wants to do in your life.
33:05 When God say, "Sit down," he got to sit down.
33:07 When God say, "Stop," he got to stop.
33:10 When God say, "Let him go," he's got to let him go.
33:12 I don't know who I'm talking to, but when the whale swallow you up,
33:16 when God speak to the whale, he's got to spit you out.
33:22 Come on and talk to me. I got two minutes.
33:33 I'm like, "Satan, you did all that, and you still coming back for more.
33:39 Why are you coming back for more? Because you didn't get what you were after.
33:48 I'm trying to get you to see the stuff he messing with is not what he after.
33:54 He messed with your possessions. Come on.
33:57 He messed with your relationships, but that's not what he was after.
34:01 This is why the enemy is so frustrated with you,
34:04 because he's messing with all of the stuff,
34:07 but you still not giving him what he want.
34:10 He wants you to break your commitment to God,
34:13 and he doesn't realize that he's messing with somebody that's been broken so much in life.
34:20 You are now at the point where you unbreakable.
34:24 Did you hear what I said? God didn't break you in the past to break you.
34:30 God broke you in the past to make you unbreakable for your future.
34:35 I'm already broken.
34:46 I just felt something on that. I got to move on.
34:50 I said the stuff you went through in the past that you thought was going to kill you,
34:55 that put you under stress, that you thought were going to lose your mind,
34:59 God says, "I am not breaking you to break you down.
35:03 I took you through that to make you unbreakable.
35:07 If you survived that, somebody come get me.
35:11 I said if you made it out of that, if you bounce back from that,
35:15 if you recovered from that, no weapon formed against you shall prosper.
35:22 I'm unbreakable.
35:26 Take that, devil.
35:32 All right, here it is. Let me wrap up. Let me wrap up. Here it is.
35:38 He's going through all of this, y'all, but he's not going through it alone
35:45 because he's married.
35:51 And when he's sick, scraping sores off his body,
35:56 his wife looks at him and says, "Do you still maintain your integrity?
36:03 Curse God and die."
36:08 Now, whenever this woman is talked about,
36:12 we judge her reaction without exploring her reality.
36:17 And that's what people will do in culture.
36:20 They'll judge your reaction to a thing
36:23 without asking what drove you to that reaction.
36:28 And what I am telling you and me is that I can't judge Job's wife
36:32 and you can't judge Job's wife because we've all been Job's wife.
36:38 Job's wife represents anybody that said something or did something
36:44 they wish they could have took back under pressure.
36:50 Come on. You may not have said what she said, but you said something.
36:54 And you may not have done what she did, but you've done something.
36:58 Is there anybody honest enough to admit
37:02 that pressure will make you vulnerable to things
37:07 you weren't vulnerable to before?
37:11 Watch what she says. "Curse God and die."
37:15 She says the same thing to Job that Satan said to God about Job.
37:27 Did you hear what I just said?
37:29 And I promise I'm going to come back and teach this one day
37:32 because the exact phrase that Satan said to God, Job's wife said to Satan.
37:40 She didn't hear Satan say that to God.
37:43 So where did she get that phrase from?
37:46 That thought came into her mind from Satan
37:50 because pressure will so wear down your resistance
37:54 that it makes it more difficult to resist thoughts you could ward off.
37:59 Come on. So you start entertaining thoughts that you could cast down
38:05 because the persistent pressure has wore down your resistance.
38:09 And I want to know is there anybody that knows what it feels like to be worn down?
38:16 Pastor, I'm trying to think positive, but I'm wore down.
38:20 I'm trying to keep believing, but I'm wore down.
38:23 I'm trying to keep the faith, but I wore down.
38:26 My faith meter on empty. I've been believing so long.
38:30 I don't know how much more long I can believe.
38:34 I'm worn down.
38:39 I'm done, Tarrio. Listen.
38:44 Because she was worn down, she entertained a thought.
38:48 And she articulated a phrase that the enemy wanted to use
38:53 because Job's wife was his last stand.
38:59 He said, "When I can't get him, I got to get somebody close to him."
39:09 And I want somebody close to him to say something that will wound him
39:17 so greatly so that when he recovers, they don't.
39:27 Did you hear what I just said?
39:30 So she said, "Don't you curse God and die."
39:39 I don't believe she meant it like that.
39:43 I believe she was suffering from compound grief
39:49 where she's dealing with a series of traumatic losses
39:52 that are happening so back to back.
39:54 By the time she starts to process one, she's dealing with another.
39:58 And I want to know, is there anybody that's ever felt like,
40:01 "Man, if it's not one thing, it's another."
40:04 It's happening back to back to back to back.
40:07 You want to talk about compound grief?
40:09 In one day, this woman gets word that the ox and the donkeys
40:14 that they use to feed their family and create income
40:17 have been stolen away.
40:19 So her means of business is wiped away in a day.
40:23 Then she gets word that sheep and servants that have been burned by fire,
40:29 so her servants, which is her support system, gone in a day.
40:33 Then right after that, she gets word that all her children
40:37 who were in one house on another side of town
40:41 dealt with a windstorm, and all of them lost their life in a day.
40:50 What you going to say?
40:53 Let's keep it real. You're talking right.
40:56 She's dealing with compound grief, and then on top of that, Job's sick.
41:03 And she having to care for Job and the siblings won't help.
41:07 I ain't going to bother that.
41:11 She having to do it with no support system.
41:16 They not going to help take care of them,
41:18 but they going to fall in the casket at the funeral.
41:21 [cheers and applause]
41:30 She got caregiver fatigue.
41:33 She having to pick them up and lay them down.
41:35 She's having to bathe him.
41:37 She's having to cook for him.
41:43 While seeing things in her home that trigger her memory of her children,
41:49 she's having to serve through grief triggers.
41:58 She's dealing with compound grief, caregiver fatigue,
42:01 and she's got to be dealing with confused theology
42:03 because all this stuff she done heard about God in church ain't making sense.
42:11 God, you said I'm head not the tail.
42:14 I'm feeling like a tail right now.
42:16 You said I'm above only and not beneath.
42:18 I feel beneath right now.
42:20 You said that you make my enemies my footstool,
42:24 and it seemed like my enemies winning.
42:31 She's got to be confused.
42:34 So when you're dealing with compound grief, caregiver fatigue,
42:38 and confused theology, you'll say something you don't mean.
42:49 And this woman didn't do this because of the absence of strength.
42:53 This ain't a weak woman because a weaker woman would have broke.
42:58 A weaker woman would have left.
43:02 It's not the absence of strength.
43:04 It's the absence of a strategy.
43:08 She didn't have a plan to protect herself under pressure.
43:16 And God puts her in the Bible so we can learn from her
43:20 so that you can have a pressure plan.
43:22 What's your pressure plan?
43:27 Number one, you need a replenishment strategy.
43:31 When I got this revelation a long time ago, it freed me.
43:34 Many of you are waiting on people to get a revelation of when you empty.
43:43 And you're like, "Why do these people keep calling me?
43:45 Why do these people keep texting me?
43:46 Why do these people keep asking me?"
43:48 People don't know when you empty.
43:52 You want people to be sensitive to something,
43:55 and they're not aware of what level your stamina is on.
43:59 Your replenishment is your responsibility.
44:05 You have to take responsibility to do the things that refill your take.
44:11 And some of you would rather be empty and understood
44:16 than misunderstood and fooled.
44:21 That's why some people are empty
44:23 because they're not willing to be misunderstood.
44:26 To say, "Like Jesus, I need a moment to step away from it all
44:31 so he can refuel me."
44:38 He needed a replenishment strategy.
44:41 She also needed--she had this--relationships with Job.
44:46 When I say Job, not intimately, but do you have a Job in your life?
44:52 Because I don't know how many people would have heard what she said and stayed with her.
44:58 Because he heard it when he was down, but he got double for his trouble.
45:01 Because when some people come up, they dip out.
45:08 You need people in your life.
45:10 When they come up, they don't dip out.
45:14 You know why he stayed?
45:16 Because he would not define the totality of their relationship by a statement.
45:24 He wouldn't determine--he decided, "I'm not going to determine
45:26 how good this book is with a bad chapter."
45:32 And I'm going to tell you when you got inner circle relationships
45:35 is when people can handle you at your best
45:42 and not fumble you when you're at your worst.
45:49 Some of you have nobody in your life you feel safe enough to be emotionally real with.
45:59 Did you hear what I just said?
46:01 God, give me a Job so that when I have these pressure moments--
46:06 I ain't even got time to deal with this.
46:08 Todd ain't got time.
46:10 The book of Psalms is David.
46:14 David's called the man after God's own heart.
46:16 God talks about the purity of his heart.
46:18 His heart's pure because it's empty.
46:22 Y'all missed it.
46:25 When you're reading the Psalms, part of what you're reading is a diary.
46:31 You're reading David say stuff like, "If I had wings like a dove, I'd fly away.
46:36 I'd leave everybody."
46:38 You're reading David--if I read to you some of the stuff David was putting in the diary in Psalms,
46:42 you wouldn't believe it was in the Bible.
46:44 I can show you in Psalms 103 where David prayed for his enemy's kids to be fatherless.
46:55 You see him saying all of these unfiltered things because he felt safe with God.
47:01 And I can tell how safe you feel with the Father by how vulnerable you are with him.
47:06 How you got to filter with the Father.
47:11 And he would empty his heart, but then you'd see something in Psalms called Selah,
47:15 which is a musical interlude.
47:17 It's a period of reflection, and you'll see him saying, "My enemies are getting the best of me.
47:22 I can't stop this. I hate this."
47:24 Then Selah, and then after the Selah, you see a shift in his tone.
47:27 "But thou, O Lord, art a shield for me.
47:30 You're my glory and the lifter of my head."
47:33 Because once you get the poison out, God can put the word in.
47:37 Once you empty your heart of the wrong thing, God can fill it with the right thing.
47:43 But you need a safe place.
47:45 I'm done. We got to go.
47:51 You don't have a job to get it out because that frustration you're feeling ain't evil.
47:56 It's human.
48:02 You human.
48:04 You hurt.
48:06 You wore out.
48:08 You got betrayed.
48:10 How you supposed to feel? Happy?
48:16 Even Jesus didn't want people around him who betrayed him.
48:19 He told Judas, "Whatever you're going to do, do it quickly. Stop playing.
48:25 Go ahead and do it.
48:28 You human.
48:37 Where are you getting this stuff out?
48:42 Where's your Job where you can say, "I'm not quitting, but I need to say I want to."
48:49 Let me go over here.
48:52 Where's your Job where you can say, "I'm not leaving,
48:56 but I need to say I feel like it.
48:59 And I need what I say in this moment not to be held over my head in the future.
49:05 I need to be able to get this out of me so the right thing can get on the inside of me."
49:18 And number three, she needed a resilience that recovers.
49:24 Sometimes the only strategy I can give you is don't die here.
49:30 She's not here.
49:34 She had no idea when things were going to change.
49:36 She could do nothing to change the tide of a situation.
49:39 All she could do is wake up each day, let her feet hit the floor,
49:43 and say, "This is the day that the Lord has made.
49:46 I will rejoice and be glad in it.
49:49 Today is the day things might change.
49:51 Today is the day things might turn around.
49:53 Today is the day where God might work everything together for my good.
49:57 I don't know who this is for, but live another day.
50:00 Don't you die here because weeping may endure for a night,
50:05 but joy is coming in the morning.
50:08 Wait on the Lord, and He will renew your strife.
50:16 Wait on the Lord.
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