The 1 Trillion Dollar Morning Routine - World's Most Succesful Youtuber
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GamingTranscript
00:00 It's 6.30 AM.
00:01 The alarm clock goes off, signaling new opportunities.
00:05 You only have one life, so it's your responsibility to not only enjoy it, but to make the absolute
00:10 most of it.
00:11 I wake up, grateful that I can bless the planet with my sheer presence again, but I'm also
00:16 immediately humbled by the renewed realization that I'm but a tiny, self-aware collection
00:22 of atoms in a cold, infinite universe.
00:25 Fuck.
00:26 I turn over to look at my beautiful girlfriend, and every single day, I think the same.
00:33 Wow, she's so lucky to have me.
00:36 But in order to be truly successful, and to be able to afford mass-produced and ridiculously
00:41 overpriced figurines, one has to get rid of unnecessary distractions, and focus on hard
00:48 work, reaching goals, and optimizing one's life.
00:52 Most people sleep between six and nine hours at night.
00:55 Most geniuses and billionaire entrepreneurs sleep around four hours at night.
01:00 I just slept 2.5.
01:02 Some people call that crazy.
01:04 I call it efficient.
01:06 My first stop?
01:07 The toilet.
01:08 There's something serene and meditative about pooping, you know?
01:12 It allows me to purge yesterday's waste physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
01:18 But mostly physically.
01:21 I reward myself with a cup of high-quality coffee.
01:25 You see, drugs are for losers, but coffee, coffee is for winners.
01:30 I only drink Kopi Luwak.
01:32 It's the most expensive coffee in the world.
01:35 I asked my dealer how this coffee was processed, but he told me not to Google it.
01:40 So I still don't know what it is, but I know it's the best.
01:45 Mmm, yum.
01:47 Next, I hone my most valuable tool, my body.
01:51 I hit the home gym, making sure to hit every major muscle group.
01:55 I focus on a training that increases muscle strength, not size, in order to ensure that
02:00 people keep underestimating me.
02:03 So I might not look jacked, but I'm powerful AF.
02:07 I can even easily lift Snorlax, aka your mom.
02:12 Damn, I'm a savage.
02:14 Working up a sweat is the fastest way to get women.
02:17 I respect women very much.
02:19 Anyway, women can't resist musky sweat odor, so I take long showers after each gym session
02:26 to repel them out of respect for my girlfriend.
02:35 Skin care is essential.
02:37 The skin is the biggest organ of the human body, in my case, the second biggest.
02:43 And it's the first thing people see when they meet you.
02:46 So healthy, moisturized skin is a must.
02:49 I moisturize my skin vigorously.
02:52 I use exclusive proprietary blend of oil of Olas, snail slime, and dolphin semen.
02:59 Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but I'm only hungry for success.
03:04 My breakfast has to be non-GMO, gluten-free, keto-friendly.
03:08 Non-GMO, gluten-free, keto-friendly, organic, high in protein.
03:23 So my breakfast has to be non-GMO, gluten-free, keto-friendly, organic, high in protein, etc.
03:36 So I've adapted photosynthesis, the purest form of calorie intake.
03:42 When meditating, I make sure to empty my mind, something which has been easy for me since
03:47 the day I was born.
03:49 As for exploring religion, in order to not offend anyone and maximize my chance of getting
03:59 into heaven, I pray to all the major gods at the same time.
04:05 Only after all of that should one turn on the TV or the smartphone.
04:09 I only turn on the TV to check the news and see how the world is doing.
04:15 And the only reason I check social media in the morning is to see how well my stocks,
04:19 investments, and cre- I follow that up by watching and analyzing one of my hits to remind
04:25 myself of what I've already achieved and where to go next.
04:31 Now it's time to get to work and make money.
04:38 (audience laughing)