Eddie | The Dog Walk
Category
🥇
SportsTranscript
00:00 All right, man, today is Wednesday, July 19th.
00:02 Welcome to the dog walk presented by Barstool Sports.
00:04 Free swim Wednesday.
00:06 It's myself.
00:06 We got chief.
00:07 We got Danny.
00:08 We're in the big studio today.
00:10 How's everybody feeling?
00:12 It was a long weekend, but I'm recovering.
00:15 I'm hangry.
00:16 I'm hangry.
00:17 You're hangry.
00:17 And you did not do dry July.
00:20 No, I've been doing it.
00:22 Since when?
00:23 Yesterday?
00:24 Today is today.
00:24 Yeah.
00:25 Monday and Tuesday.
00:26 So if you counted up the days that I've done dry July,
00:31 what day is today?
00:32 This is the 18th.
00:34 I would say I've been dry July for like six of them.
00:38 So a 33% hit rate for dry July.
00:40 Yeah, you know you're in trouble when you find yourself
00:43 drinking on Mondays and Tuesdays.
00:45 Those should be the reserve no drinking days.
00:47 Have you been hitting the Mondays and Tuesdays?
00:49 I mean, I'm sure I have.
00:51 We had the holiday.
00:52 We had stuff going on.
00:53 A lot of work-related events.
00:54 Yeah.
00:55 True.
00:55 Yeah.
00:56 True.
00:56 We did have-- 4th of July was on a Tuesday this year.
00:59 Correct.
01:00 Yeah.
01:01 So that's what I mean.
01:03 That's why I'm doing dry July.
01:04 And I've been dry six of the 18 days.
01:07 Actually, you've been-- probably the 10th time I've
01:10 heard you say you're doing dry July.
01:12 Why?
01:13 You're supposed to drink during the summer.
01:16 You don't feel like after Nashville--
01:18 you didn't honky tonk as hard as we did.
01:19 But it was like, I feel like I had a friend's wedding
01:23 that I was in.
01:25 So we had a little quasi-bachelor party
01:27 at one point.
01:29 Then the wedding itself.
01:30 Then I just feel like since then, June and July
01:34 have just been too out of control.
01:36 Sure.
01:37 So you give yourself a day to--
01:39 You're drinking five, six days a week?
01:41 No, you're not.
01:42 No, but I'm saying give yourself a weekend day.
01:44 Like, if you want to give yourself a Friday or a Saturday,
01:46 or even a full weekend, you've got to rally.
01:49 This is the time.
01:50 I know.
01:50 And I was like, this coming weekend
01:54 was going to be my weekend of nothing.
01:56 And like wellness, I was thinking
01:58 about maybe getting a massage, or doing
02:00 something nice for myself.
02:01 Maybe pedicure, who knows?
02:03 And then Johnny Fish, our guy, he
02:06 texted me, he's like, hey, I got tickets for the Cubs on Saturday.
02:09 You want to go?
02:09 And I was like, well, fuck.
02:11 I do.
02:12 Yeah, after the month of June, I feel
02:13 like I needed to get baptized again.
02:16 You're drinking so much.
02:18 So it's not like he was planning it.
02:20 It's not like a no-none November.
02:21 It's like, hey, I've been going really hard.
02:23 He's really been hammering it, though.
02:26 Yeah, but things just keep popping up in the calendar.
02:29 I completely forgot about smoke out.
02:30 Completely forgot about it.
02:32 We have to drink for work.
02:33 Yeah.
02:35 Right, I went there professionally.
02:37 Motherfucking you for saying that.
02:40 Not just us, a lot of people.
02:43 Sales people, you do so much socializing.
02:45 We had the classic.
02:46 There's drinking with that.
02:48 And then it's like, the other thing
02:50 is I feel like because people are coming into town,
02:55 like newer people, that I felt a little bit of an obligation
02:59 to socialize.
03:00 Like, oh, Large is in town.
03:01 The NASCAR guys are in town.
03:02 Let's go.
03:03 Oh, PFTs invited you over.
03:04 Oh, 100%.
03:05 I agree.
03:05 Yeah, so there's nights where I would not--
03:08 well, that was like the 4th of July thing.
03:11 When I got back from NASCAR, I had legit shakes, like a fever.
03:15 I woke up in a sweat, chills, the whole thing.
03:19 And then it was like the next day, it's like, yeah,
03:22 I guess I'll go out.
03:22 I'm feeling a little bit better.
03:25 Because it's just like, I don't want to be like the asshole
03:27 that doesn't want to socialize with people who don't really
03:30 have a network here yet.
03:31 So credit to me for being such a good guy,
03:33 putting my health on the line for other people, for others.
03:36 These things we do.
03:40 Thank you.
03:41 Thank you, Chief.
03:42 Very kind.
03:43 Smokeout was good, though.
03:45 Yeah, I really enjoyed it.
03:46 I love the pit master guys.
03:49 I spent some time with the Wright Barbecue guys,
03:53 and then the Hoodoo Brown guys, the Connecticut guys.
03:57 They're awesome.
03:57 And they just kind of have it figured out.
04:01 Because they just want to sit around and drink beer
04:03 and eat good food.
04:05 And they do that professionally.
04:06 So they get up in the morning, they do their work,
04:08 they put things on, and then they have a process.
04:11 But it's like, you have to let it sit there for hours on end.
04:13 That's a good point.
04:14 So they just fucking chill.
04:16 And they have a game on.
04:18 I was like, what do you guys do during the fall?
04:20 He's like, oh, fall's the best, because then we
04:21 have something to watch.
04:22 And I'm like, we'll be cooking for 10 hours.
04:24 But you're actively doing things for 45 minutes.
04:29 Yeah, you kind of just got to wait it out.
04:31 Yeah, you just wait it out and just hang out with the boys.
04:34 They have a very good-- if you can make money doing that,
04:38 it might be the best lifestyle there is.
04:40 I might become a pit master.
04:42 You think you have it in you?
04:43 Watching that hog turn for 10 hours.
04:46 See, this guy doesn't even know.
04:47 You don't even turn it.
04:49 Did you go to any of the food places?
04:50 No.
04:51 OK, so the Hoodoo Brown guys, they
04:52 do these fucking pork bellies.
04:54 Is that the guy we met from Arkansas?
04:56 No, that's the Rice guy.
04:57 The Hoodoo Brown guy, Chris Sexton,
05:01 they're from Connecticut.
05:02 And he was just like, I really like barbecue.
05:04 And Connecticut didn't have any barbecue.
05:06 So we decided, let's just learn ourselves.
05:09 And then they turned it into a restaurant.
05:11 And they've become wildly successful.
05:14 But they do this thing where they get a pork belly.
05:17 And they just cover the whole top layer in salt.
05:20 So then it dries it out.
05:22 And then the salt flakes off in these big chunks.
05:26 And then they put it in an oven.
05:28 And it makes this--
05:30 the top side is almost like a tortilla chip,
05:32 like crispy, crunchy like that, which is the skin.
05:35 And it has this underbelly.
05:36 And it's like, that's their thing.
05:38 They kind of figure that out.
05:40 It was so fucking good.
05:41 So they just kind of tinker and experiment and hang out
05:44 and just sample things all day long.
05:47 They just sample some of the best food in the world.
05:50 It's their own.
05:50 I kind of had a job with the same time formation
05:55 at one point when I used to valet.
05:58 If you valeted at a banquet hall, that's how it worked.
06:01 Everyone got there at the same time.
06:03 Everyone gets to the wedding.
06:04 Yeah, true.
06:05 If the ceremony starts at 7, everyone gets there at 7.
06:09 So it's a big rush.
06:10 And then everyone's in there till midnight.
06:12 And then it's like the back end rush.
06:14 So there was a block of time where we were just sitting
06:16 there doing nothing really.
06:17 Yeah.
06:18 How mad would you get at the people
06:19 who said they'd be staying the whole night,
06:20 but they leave early.
06:21 So you have to move like 10 other cars to get to their car.
06:24 Oh, I mean--
06:25 If you were dealing with parking lots like that.
06:27 Typically, you would only give like nice cars,
06:30 like that kind of treatment.
06:32 Unless they said like, hey, I'm dipping out early.
06:35 Can you not bury me in the back?
06:37 Yeah, like we didn't have too many lots where we had that.
06:39 But if you were using a lot like that,
06:42 you were at the end of the barrel.
06:44 Like you didn't have much left.
06:45 You know what I mean?
06:46 So at least where I work, I'm sure it's
06:48 different cases for every place.
06:49 I'm sure there are places like that.
06:51 But yeah, that's a dick move.
06:52 You know, like at Wrigley, there's
06:54 a guy who will just park cars up and down a huge lot of land.
06:58 But if you want that one in back to get out,
07:01 you're moving six cars.
07:02 Yeah, for sure.
07:03 No easy outs.
07:04 That's why you see a baller who pulls up in a nice car,
07:06 it's like, yeah, keep me close.
07:08 I already was.
07:09 Got you taken care of.
07:11 No worries about it.
07:13 But yeah, when you're in a restaurant,
07:14 it's not the same case.
07:15 But besides that, you just chill.
07:18 You can go home.
07:18 Like not go home, but like--
07:20 Yeah, but you're not eating and drinking the way the pit
07:22 managers are.
07:23 No, no, no.
07:23 Yeah, if I work with someone who was like annoying,
07:26 like it would suck.
07:27 It would suck.
07:27 Yeah.
07:28 And I feel like these guys like--
07:30 Seem like good guys.
07:31 They seem like good guys.
07:32 And they seem like they kind of like pick
07:34 their crew a little bit.
07:35 So like they-- and especially for smoke out,
07:39 they might have 20 guys who work in the restaurant or whatever.
07:42 They only bring five.
07:43 So it's like you get like--
07:44 who's ever in charge picks like his four favorite guys.
07:46 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
07:47 And it's like, hey, we're going to have a little work trip.
07:50 And then they get done once the concert,
07:52 like the headliner goes on, they're done cooking.
07:55 They go out, have a good time in Chicago, and then get up.
07:59 They said the guy, the rights guy,
08:02 because he wasn't there in the morning when I--
08:04 I filmed some content there.
08:06 I think it'll be in StoolSinger.
08:08 I committed to that when I was like hammered after Zach Brown.
08:11 And-- or Zach Brian, rather.
08:13 And so I got there.
08:15 And they're at the right.
08:15 I'm like, where were you?
08:16 Like, you were supposed to--
08:17 I thought you were going to be there for us to film.
08:19 He goes, brother.
08:20 He's like, I didn't wake up until noon that day.
08:22 I'm like, ah, all right.
08:23 Well, your boys were there.
08:24 They were taking-- you know, they had the fires burning.
08:26 They had those big tanks.
08:27 And the smoker pit--
08:30 they're like an old gasoline tank
08:31 that they just convert into a grill.
08:33 But it was just like he's--
08:35 they have fun here, too.
08:36 So he couldn't show up.
08:38 We might have to go visit him.
08:40 We're invited.
08:41 Really?
08:41 I guess the Wrights barbecue guys
08:44 are like the kings of Arkansas.
08:46 Like, they have concession stands in the stadium.
08:48 They have a couple of different spots.
08:50 He's like, yeah.
08:51 He's like, we'll get you field passes.
08:53 We'll get you in the locker room.
08:54 We'll sing "Woo-Pig."
08:55 And you know, like, he was like really doing a big time sales
08:58 pitch.
08:58 I'm in.
08:59 Yeah.
08:59 I think it's-- I got pulled away.
09:00 I was right about to talk to him.
09:01 Something happened.
09:02 So that sounds sick.
09:04 Yeah.
09:05 He's a good dude.
09:06 Yeah.
09:07 Danny, you had something?
09:08 All right.
09:09 So you are meeting up with friends.
09:13 Say you see four girls that you know, have known.
09:17 You give them all hugs.
09:18 There's one girl at the end of the line, one of the girl's
09:20 friends you never met her before.
09:22 Are you giving her a hug?
09:23 Or are you doing a girl handshake?
09:26 I'm doing-- I do the girl handshake.
09:28 Really?
09:28 Yeah.
09:29 OK.
09:30 Or you can make a joke of it.
09:31 You can be like, oh, I guess I'll hug you, too.
09:33 Like, you're welcome.
09:34 Like, what's up?
09:36 I always--
09:36 Jamie?
09:37 Jamie.
09:37 Yeah.
09:38 But it's like, you guys were on the Mark Titus show,
09:40 kind of talking about Midwest Nice.
09:42 And I was talking about it with our sales guy, Meeks.
09:45 And hugging is definitely weirder.
09:47 Like, on the East Coast, I don't know if you're--
09:49 when you meet someone for the first time,
09:51 especially if it's a boy versus girl,
09:52 I don't know if it's automatic hug.
09:54 But girl handshakes are just never the vibe.
09:56 They never are.
09:57 But like, I always feel like--
10:00 I don't know.
10:01 I'm not a big hugger.
10:02 Right.
10:02 You're too aggressive.
10:03 Yeah.
10:03 You're hugging, too.
10:04 But also, like, I clearly just hugged everyone else.
10:07 I got crucified once for shaking a girl's hand
10:10 in like, eighth grade or something.
10:12 And it's like, stuck with me ever since.
10:13 I feel like girls expect the hug.
10:17 You know?
10:17 Like, they kind of--
10:18 you know, if I'm reaching out, their arms are wider.
10:22 You know?
10:23 And they're not going for--
10:24 I feel like--
10:25 And you could tell.
10:26 You can kind of read the body language a little bit.
10:28 Sometimes they want that hug.
10:30 Yeah.
10:30 Sometimes they're like, ah, get the-- you know.
10:32 Get this creep away from me.
10:33 It's like, they're like, preoccupied.
10:35 They're thinking of what they're going to order,
10:38 you know, who they're going to meet up with later.
10:40 When I do the handshake, though, the girl handshake,
10:44 I make sure I have good eye contact.
10:46 And I feel like that's a happy medium.
10:47 OK.
10:47 Yeah.
10:48 I think the worst case scenario is you're standing, like, say,
10:51 three feet across from her in a circle.
10:53 And you just do the awkward, like, wave from three feet away.
10:55 There's nothing worse than that.
10:57 Yeah.
10:57 That's the worst thing.
10:58 Because you can't read the body language.
10:59 You don't know if you should commit to a hug.
11:01 Do that wave.
11:01 Do that wave again.
11:02 Yeah.
11:03 Yeah.
11:03 But you don't plan those.
11:05 You don't want those either.
11:07 But sometimes it's like an impulse.
11:09 You just-- and that's like, ah, fuck.
11:10 Yeah.
11:11 It's got to be like, oh, hey.
11:12 You take a stutter step forward.
11:14 Yeah.
11:14 No.
11:15 Away from here.
11:15 Yeah.
11:16 Shamefully done that too many times.
11:17 What was the scenario in which you got crucified
11:19 for giving a girl a handshake?
11:20 Oh, it was like--
11:22 she was just like, who shakes a girl's hand?
11:25 Oh, really?
11:26 Yeah.
11:26 And I was just like, well, shit.
11:29 I don't know.
11:29 Gentlemen.
11:30 And now I'm like, oh, shit.
11:31 Gentlemen.
11:32 And now it threw me for a loop forever.
11:34 So now you don't know what to do.
11:35 Yes, exactly.
11:36 It legitimately stuck with me.
11:39 Yeah, like when I-- my freshman year in college,
11:41 there was a bunch of girls there who I knew.
11:42 The same scenario I kind of described.
11:44 And then I went for a hug with a girl I just met.
11:46 And she was like, whoa, doing hugs.
11:48 Like, it was aggressive.
11:49 Oh, see that?
11:49 You don't have to say-- you don't like.
11:51 I bet you that girl, no matter what you do,
11:53 is just trying to break your balls.
11:54 If you go with a handshake, she's like,
11:55 who gives you a handshake?
11:57 We were dead sober in the dorm.
11:59 Yeah, but still like--
11:59 Yeah, I don't like that.
12:01 Yeah.
12:02 I was gaslit.
12:02 Yeah, you were.
12:03 There are some people who are very anti-hug as well.
12:09 I don't want to be hugged, really.
12:11 I feel like I get forced into hugs, like hello hugs.
12:14 It's like, there was a whole Seinfeld episode
12:16 about like the kiss hello, where he's like,
12:18 I don't want to fucking kiss anybody hello, like straight,
12:20 you know, like your neighbors or whatever.
12:23 I still never know what to do on those.
12:26 Oh, like the cheek kiss?
12:27 Yeah.
12:27 Yeah.
12:27 You know what I'm talking about, right?
12:28 Yeah, but how often are you kissing people?
12:30 I think maybe in the '90s, it was more of a thing.
12:32 But now I feel like you could apply the same level
12:35 of thinking to the hug.
12:37 Like I saw on that Sunday, for whatever reason at Smokeout,
12:43 I knew everybody there.
12:44 I had friends from high school that I have not
12:47 seen in 20 years.
12:48 And they were just like walked right up to me.
12:50 And I had like a lot of interactions like that.
12:52 And then it was like, you know, I knew this other girl.
12:56 And she had this whole big group of friends.
12:58 Like, I don't want to fucking--
12:59 I don't even really want to hug you.
13:01 Or like, I don't even know your friend.
13:02 That's a better case scenario.
13:04 If there's like five girls you don't know,
13:05 then it's completely acceptable to just like give the wave.
13:08 Or hey, everyone.
13:08 But one of them went for a hug for me.
13:10 OK, then you got to-- they all fall in line then.
13:12 Yeah.
13:12 Yeah.
13:12 See, but truthfully, I think group--
13:14 groups, it gets tricky.
13:15 Yeah.
13:15 But I think whatever you do, you got to be that person.
13:18 You got to stick with it.
13:19 Just go and--
13:19 I feel like I'll hug like a significant other
13:23 or like my family.
13:25 And like, I don't really love to do the hello hug
13:27 with my family.
13:28 Maybe just my mom.
13:29 Like, I don't-- you know, like, I just don't like it.
13:32 You're the where's my hug guy, right?
13:34 Who, me?
13:35 Yeah.
13:35 Yeah, that's right.
13:36 Where's my hug stranger?
13:37 I knew that was coming.
13:39 I was actually going to give it to you.
13:40 But I heard from you.
13:41 I know.
13:42 That's why I pass off first.
13:43 So you're an asshole.
13:44 Hurts less that way.
13:45 You're an asshole for doing it to me because I held off.
13:48 So I will not hold off again.
13:50 You know, you just said neighbor before that.
13:54 What were you talking about?
13:55 Like, if you don't know how to say--
13:57 you just moved into a new house and now you're
13:59 forced to weirdly say hi to a neighbor.
14:01 We always talk about like, oh, you
14:03 know, I don't need any new best friends as you get older.
14:06 Or like, you know, I still have all the same friends
14:08 since high school.
14:09 It's not talked about enough how your neighbor can
14:12 become like your best friend, you know, come your 40s.
14:15 Like, talking about going on vacation with them,
14:17 kids knowing each other, seeing them every single day.
14:20 Yeah, that is a weird thing.
14:21 We have our best family friends are these people, the Fraziers.
14:25 They're from when I was like a little--
14:26 like, I don't remember not knowing them.
14:29 The moms were like the room mothers
14:31 of my older sister's preschool.
14:34 And like, that's her best friend in the world.
14:36 Yeah, my family's best friends with our old neighbors.
14:39 Yeah.
14:40 It's just like, I feel like your kids and just like proximity
14:43 to people is how you make friends as an adult.
14:45 But it's not talked about.
14:46 The meme is like, oh, no new friends.
14:47 Like, I can't make new friends when I'm older.
14:49 Your neighbors are like family friends.
14:50 Yeah, you could sneak away.
14:52 It's easier to sneak away, right?
14:53 Like, if someone's in the garage and like,
14:54 if you're one of those people where your wife's like,
14:56 oh, I can't.
14:57 Have you ever had a--
14:58 Not going out today.
14:59 It's like, oh, I'm going to go--
15:00 you know, Jim's in the yard.
15:02 I'm going to go drink a casual 12 beers.
15:03 Have you ever had a neighbor friend, though?
15:05 Yeah.
15:06 You have?
15:06 Mm-hmm.
15:07 Like, as an adult?
15:08 Oh, like in my own place?
15:10 Yeah.
15:10 I mean, growing up.
15:11 No, no, no.
15:12 I did.
15:12 No, well, I'm not a homeowner.
15:14 Like, I live in an apartment.
15:15 I know people there.
15:16 But no, I just moved.
15:17 So I have no best friends that are also in the same building.
15:20 Because I've never had that.
15:22 I did have like my neighbor at this place
15:27 right after I moved in, like a month after I moved in.
15:30 He sent me an email.
15:32 I didn't know--
15:32 Normal.
15:33 I don't know if I've ever spoken.
15:34 He's a super nice guy.
15:36 But he sent me an email, like asked me if I
15:38 wanted to go golfing with him.
15:40 And I was just like--
15:41 Wow.
15:42 No.
15:43 And I didn't go.
15:44 And we're like all-- you know, we're
15:46 friendly in the hallway or whatever on the sidewalk,
15:48 if I see him.
15:48 But like, I--
15:50 Yeah, he's got a--
15:51 I can hear him fuck sometimes.
15:53 I don't know.
15:54 Oh, shit.
15:54 You got to be like, hey, one of my buddies
15:56 just dropped out last minute and wanted to golf.
15:58 Can't be like setting up a play date.
16:00 Maybe it's a good--
16:01 I think it was a situation like that, if I recall.
16:04 Maybe he hits a good pitching wedge while he's at it.
16:07 I don't fucking have one.
16:08 Maybe he thinks you can work on your game.
16:09 I don't have a pitching wedge.
16:11 Because White Sox, they've lost it.
16:13 No.
16:15 Wasn't even using yours.
16:17 Well--
16:18 It was your responsibility.
16:20 He said he already emailed them to get you a new one.
16:22 He hasn't.
16:23 You don't think so?
16:24 No.
16:25 He asked me one day for the specs.
16:28 For the specs.
16:28 Got you.
16:29 But I believe he was on that same email.
16:31 So if he wanted to--
16:33 He could have just--
16:34 Yeah.
16:34 Put the effort in, figuring it out.
16:36 But whatever.
16:37 Well.
16:39 I have something else I want to vent about.
16:41 So I haven't been buying fruit as much ever
16:44 since the self-checkout process came out,
16:46 where they make it impossible.
16:48 But I casually bought a pound of plums the other day.
16:52 That's a lot of plums, dude.
16:53 A pound?
16:54 Yeah.
16:54 It was probably like six.
16:55 That's like a dozen plums.
16:57 What are you eating so many plums for?
16:58 You got a regular shit?
17:00 Oh, you do have your regular shits.
17:01 Yeah.
17:02 Maybe it was half pound.
17:03 But I-- whatever.
17:04 I also bought--
17:05 That's like a bushel.
17:06 You had a bushel of plums.
17:07 Yeah.
17:07 You got it.
17:08 I think it would be easier if I made it a pound, as opposed
17:11 to like 0.56.
17:12 I don't know how--
17:13 I don't want the machine to fry in front of me.
17:15 Regardless.
17:16 Took a bite of one, and immediately, all the juices
17:20 pour down my shirt.
17:21 I just got red plum juice everywhere.
17:23 It looks like I was just feasting on a deer carcass.
17:26 It doesn't get talked about enough how plums are up there
17:29 with baby back ribs and chicken wings for the messiest food
17:31 around.
17:32 You got to be careful with the plum.
17:33 You have to like eat it over the garbage can or sink.
17:35 Peaches are like that, too.
17:37 True.
17:37 Yeah.
17:38 You got to cut them.
17:38 That's all it is.
17:39 But there's a core in it.
17:40 It's not easy.
17:41 Cut a plum?
17:42 No.
17:42 Yeah, I cut a plum.
17:43 I'll cut a plum.
17:44 You don't cut plums.
17:44 I cut a plum.
17:45 You don't.
17:45 You're not even kidding.
17:46 You're cutting plums.
17:47 Yes, I am.
17:47 My mom would give them to me at lunch sometimes.
17:49 And they'd be cut.
17:50 So your mom's cutting plums.
17:51 Well, back in the day.
17:52 But now, I would cut a plum.
17:53 I had a peach.
17:55 Last month, I cut it.
17:57 You took the core out and then--
17:59 tell me the process.
17:59 Yeah, I don't even know how you--
18:00 You probably just like broke it up with your hands.
18:02 I've seen peach wedges before.
18:03 But I'm not sitting there.
18:05 I'm eating the peach like it's an apple.
18:07 I think just about every fruit tastes better cut up.
18:13 Better or easier to handle?
18:14 Because how much of the juice are you losing
18:17 after you cut up the plum?
18:18 Or are you losing the juice because your mom put it
18:20 in your lunch and dried out over time?
18:22 I'm losing the juice that would have been on my shirt.
18:25 I think he just probably took too aggressive of a bite
18:27 or in the wrong spot.
18:28 No, it doesn't matter.
18:29 You could take a nibble and that thing is shooting at you.
18:32 You're saying this man's assaulting his plums?
18:34 Yeah, he's going for a big chomp.
18:35 So what are we-- so that's your first one of the 60 feet?
18:39 I ate three so far.
18:40 All right, so what was it?
18:41 Give me the damage.
18:42 Give me the splash level.
18:44 One, two, three.
18:45 I had to clean my throat off.
18:47 It just rolled down my throat.
18:51 And I realized--
18:52 Flip all of this.
18:53 I realized that maybe I don't not buy fruit
18:56 because of the self-checkout process.
18:58 Because every time you eat a plum,
19:00 you have to wear a garbage bag over your body.
19:02 I also feel like a plum is of all the fruit to get.
19:06 I don't know if that's a top 10 fruit.
19:08 In terms of--
19:09 They're in season.
19:10 You got to capitalize.
19:11 Why did I get drafted?
19:13 I don't know.
19:13 I like plums.
19:14 But I feel like if you're talking
19:16 about which are the highest sales across the country,
19:20 I feel like--
19:21 Sure, totally.
19:22 There's probably-- you might be in a special club getting
19:26 a pound of plums at a time.
19:27 So I got a new fruit bowl thing that I'm
19:30 trying to keep pretty stocked.
19:32 Apples and bananas, obviously.
19:34 One and two.
19:34 Oranges are the cuties.
19:36 Yeah, I wanted to mix it up a little.
19:37 I love the cuties.
19:38 Love the cuties.
19:38 I wanted to mix it up a little.
19:39 Got some peaches.
19:40 Got some plums.
19:41 I feel like cuties are a wintertime fruit, though.
19:43 Really?
19:44 Yeah.
19:44 Totally disagree.
19:46 I used to eat them with the skin on before you realized.
19:49 Before his mom started cutting them off for him.
19:51 Cuties?
19:52 Yeah.
19:53 No, no.
19:53 What are you looking up right now?
19:55 The fruit draft?
19:56 The fruit draft.
19:56 See where plums went.
19:57 Because you said it's not top 10.
19:59 Where did it go?
20:00 Did I draft it?
20:01 I don't know.
20:02 I like them.
20:02 I just feel like grapes go higher than that.
20:04 Watermelon goes higher than that.
20:06 Oranges, kiwis, apples.
20:07 Oh, a watermelon, though.
20:08 You got to take a shelf out in the pantry
20:11 in order to keep a watermelon.
20:13 I did buy a watermelon maybe three weeks ago.
20:18 It's a fucking nightmare.
20:19 You did draft them, you piece of shit.
20:21 I like them.
20:22 I said I like them.
20:23 Where did I draft them from?
20:25 23rd overall.
20:25 Yeah, there you go.
20:26 Fifth row.
20:27 Where did pears fall?
20:28 Do you guys fuck with pears?
20:29 I've still never had one.
20:30 I like a good pear.
20:31 It did not get drafted, though.
20:33 Do you really like pears when they're cut up?
20:35 You ever had a Harry and David pear?
20:37 I've never had one, no.
20:39 Never had a pear?
20:40 No, we've talked about this before.
20:41 How does that make sense, though?
20:42 I get you haven't had a cheesy grater crunch, but--
20:45 No, I think I've had--
20:47 I can count the number of times I've had a pear.
20:49 Really?
20:50 It just doesn't compete with the rest.
20:51 They're not good.
20:52 Even if you hold it in your hand, they--
20:55 ugh, I don't like them.
20:56 No.
20:57 They're mealy.
20:57 Sometimes Granny Smith apples get like that, too.
21:00 I know what you're talking about.
21:02 It's a little rugged.
21:02 But all pears are like that.
21:04 Yeah.
21:05 So I just don't want a pear.
21:07 I'm not interested in having a pear.
21:09 I'm not even curious about it.
21:10 What about a kiwi?
21:11 I like kiwis.
21:12 But like that's--
21:13 They're so hairy.
21:14 Well, you don't eat the skin.
21:15 I know, but just it grosses me out.
21:17 And then it's a whole process to eat kiwi.
21:18 But that's the thing.
21:19 I love the kiwi.
21:20 I love kiwi.
21:21 But I'll never order them because it's too much like,
21:24 what are you doing?
21:25 Am I peeling this?
21:26 Am I cutting around it?
21:27 What am I doing?
21:27 Am I shaving it?
21:28 So I was a produce pro at Jules Asco for six months.
21:31 That's right.
21:33 How many jobs did you have for six months or less?
21:35 I feel like there's a lot.
21:37 There's a couple.
21:39 Strip club DJ.
21:40 There's a couple.
21:40 Strip club DJ was a week.
21:41 Yeah.
21:42 Five days, in fact.
21:44 A great way to eat a kiwi is just cut it in half.
21:48 And use a spoon and just scoop it out.
21:50 I don't know if I've ever seen that done.
21:52 I was taught to me by an older statesman at the produce.
21:56 But see, you see these little hacks on TikTok and stuff.
21:59 And you realize it takes more than just a spoon
22:01 to scoop it out of there.
22:03 Like it gets stuck to the side.
22:04 Yeah.
22:05 Did you see that TikTok hack about the pineapple?
22:07 Yeah, I did.
22:09 And--
22:09 Dude.
22:09 Pineapple is another one where it's
22:10 like you got to basically go to surgery for an hour in order
22:13 to eat it.
22:13 Well, then you didn't see the TikTok hack then.
22:15 When they-- remind me.
22:16 Remind the audience.
22:18 You like roll it.
22:19 Because I don't know what you're talking about.
22:21 OK, so this-- I almost blogged it.
22:22 Because I'm like, this is a revolutionary thing.
22:25 But you roll the pineapple, the whole thing.
22:29 And then the person's like, all right, well,
22:31 then one of the little spikes will flare out.
22:34 And it's like it unlocks the entire pineapple.
22:37 You just grab it by the spiky little leaf thing
22:40 on the outside in the middle.
22:42 There will be one that pops up.
22:44 And you can pull out a perfect triangle bite of the pineapple.
22:48 And then you just do that the rest of the way
22:50 around the whole pineapple.
22:51 I haven't seen that then.
22:53 Have you tried it?
22:54 No.
22:54 See, this is like the YouTube tutorials, where it's like,
22:58 all you have to do now is just press this button.
23:00 You're like, wait, this button does not exist on my screen.
23:03 I'm going to try to find it right now because--
23:05 Yeah, I kind of want to see this too.
23:07 It's like fucking wild.
23:09 So trying the pineapple-- oh, I see this guy.
23:11 Eat pineapple without the hassle,
23:14 without using a fork and knife.
23:16 So you just pluck it?
23:17 Yeah, but there's like a rolling--
23:21 Process you got to do first?
23:24 Yeah.
23:24 I call bullshit, dude.
23:26 No, this guy's doing it right here.
23:27 This guy, tips and tricks.
23:31 So she's cutting off the top, OK.
23:33 Oh, no, this is not the one I saw.
23:35 No way, chief.
23:36 All right, now, yeah, this is it.
23:38 You're rolling.
23:39 And then you just pluck it out.
23:41 Hand that over.
23:43 I see it.
23:44 I don't believe it can be done in real life.
23:46 This is AI.
23:46 This is--
23:48 All right, we're going to try it out.
23:49 All right, we'll do it tomorrow.
23:50 Tomorrow.
23:51 All right.
23:51 Yeah.
23:52 Tune in.
23:52 I'll go to Whole Foods on my way home and get a pineapple.
23:55 All right.
23:56 No tampering with it beforehand, please.
23:57 What?
23:58 How the fuck am I going to tamper?
23:59 What if you get a couple rolls in before you get in here?
24:00 Roll on a dollar-five man, shoot.
24:02 What does it matter?
24:03 If it works, it works.
24:04 You don't want it to work.
24:05 I'm trying to improve your life over here.
24:07 Time consumption matters.
24:09 If it takes you 45 minutes for a good roll, I'm out.
24:11 You slandered the pear.
24:13 Yeah, I'm not interested in pears.
24:15 And the plum.
24:16 No, I like plums.
24:17 I drafted plums.
24:18 Plums are good.
24:20 I know food.
24:21 I'm good at food drafts.
24:23 How would you rank the apples?
24:26 I mean, I'm pretty basic about that.
24:28 But--
24:31 We'll start with red over green or green over red?
24:35 Well, I think honey crisps are the best.
24:38 And then I like a Granny Smith.
24:41 Would a honey crisp be the most generic apple?
24:44 Do you know they just invented it 15 years ago?
24:46 You guys did an episode or something on that.
24:48 Maybe it was the fruit draft.
24:49 Granny Smith?
24:50 No, no, no.
24:51 Granny Smith's been around forever.
24:52 I was like, Granny's been making those apples my whole life.
24:53 Yeah, no, honey crisp.
24:55 Honey crisp was like--
24:57 I don't know.
24:58 What do you call that?
24:59 They--
24:59 Engineered?
25:00 They genetically engineered the best apple ever.
25:03 And they took a little bit from this kind, a little bit
25:05 from that kind, and then they spliced together
25:07 the genome and created a new type of apple.
25:11 And it's--
25:12 Thanos apple, to be the best of all.
25:14 Yeah.
25:15 I want to see a video of how they were created.
25:18 You took a couple of different apple trees
25:20 and they made them fuck.
25:21 And they came up with that.
25:22 Oh, interesting.
25:24 Yeah.
25:25 But they invented that apple in like a lap, basically.
25:28 That's pretty sick.
25:29 It's awesome.
25:30 Yeah, honey crisp is the go.
25:32 Honey crisp, yeah.
25:33 But like when we were kids, honey crisp did not exist.
25:36 No.
25:37 Honey crisp, they should have--
25:39 other apple companies should have blocked that
25:41 from happening.
25:42 I don't know if all--
25:44 This apple's become too powerful.
25:45 I don't think you have to block it.
25:48 It's not like it's a seed.
25:49 It's not like patented.
25:50 Although they do patent Monsanto,
25:52 like patents like corn seeds and shit.
25:54 Yeah, they do.
25:54 Yeah.
25:55 Putting the American farmer out of work.
25:57 That should have been blocked.
25:58 Why?
25:59 It's so fucking--
26:00 If I'm Red Delicious, if I'm fucking--
26:02 You act like--
26:02 If I'm Gala, if I'm Michigan--
26:04 I think Gala's kind of a new one, too.
26:06 And the Fiji, the Fiji or Fuji, I think those are newer, too.
26:10 If I'm those apples, I'm blocking that shit.
26:12 McIntosh was like, when I was a kid,
26:14 that was like my number one.
26:16 That was the bad boy?
26:17 Yeah.
26:18 I was like, you go to the orchard
26:19 to get those ones fresh, those Mac--
26:20 I never liked the Red Delicious, either.
26:22 So bad.
26:23 You really liked those.
26:24 The Red Delicious?
26:25 Yeah.
26:25 I don't know if I'm familiar, but--
26:27 Pretty close to a pair.
26:28 Let me get these waxy skin on there.
26:30 Yeah, it's disgusting.
26:31 And like the insides are like that yellow tint.
26:33 Yeah, you get the mushy ones, too, sometimes.
26:35 Gross.
26:36 How do-- who buys Red Delicious?
26:40 Those like dark red?
26:41 The dark, dark red ones?
26:42 Yeah.
26:43 OK, yeah, those are a little sus.
26:44 Oh, I thought you were about to defend them.
26:46 No, they're gross.
26:47 You can't-- even like, there's like the yellow ones, too,
26:50 which--
26:51 Oh, I like a good Golden Delicious.
26:52 Golden Delicious get a little-- they can be a little mealy.
26:55 They can be a little mealy.
26:57 What do you mean?
26:57 Like, they get like--
26:58 They get brown quicker.
26:59 And like the texture is just not--
27:01 Yeah, I would agree.
27:01 But if you get a crisp one--
27:03 But those are-- I feel like those are rare.
27:04 Like, I want to bite into an apple
27:06 and be like, refreshed in a way.
27:08 I used to pound Golden Delicious apples in the cooler.
27:10 Yeah.
27:11 Oh, yeah.
27:12 Oh, yeah, dude.
27:13 What are all these apple cores doing on the ground?
27:15 Sound like Johnny Feidelberg now.
27:17 I was always a conflict.
27:18 I'd be like, you know, I'd eat the fruit.
27:20 And then people would be like, well, is that stealing?
27:22 Or is it-- you're sampling?
27:25 What do you mean?
27:26 Stealing.
27:26 Stealing-- what do you mean they're in the cooler?
27:28 He's stealing the supply.
27:29 He was--
27:29 From where?
27:30 The cooler.
27:30 Of course it's stealing.
27:31 Oh, yeah, that's--
27:33 Sampling.
27:34 I think that's almost like embezzlement at that point,
27:36 if you're eating that many apples.
27:37 Well, I was--
27:38 You're eating $10,000 from this thing.
27:40 You're embezzling apples.
27:41 I'd be like, oh, today I want to have a Golden Delicious.
27:43 I'm going to have a Golden Delicious.
27:44 You know what I would say to that?
27:45 I'm just-- are we just making sure the batch was--
27:47 You're doing quality control, brother.
27:48 Exactly.
27:49 The batch was satisfactory before I filled the bushel.
27:52 I'm not robbing a bank.
27:53 I'm just sampling 10 keys.
27:54 Yes.
27:54 I did feel bad when I eat those cherries.
27:56 The expensive cherries you know what I'm talking about?
27:59 That look like a Honeycrisp?
28:00 Those are fire.
28:01 Those are good.
28:02 Those are expensive, too.
28:03 I was like, ah, I shouldn't have touched.
28:05 Cherries are like--
28:06 I don't really sit around eating cherries.
28:09 I feel like you can only have one or two.
28:10 Best summertime fruit is maraschino cherries.
28:12 Yeah, but how-- are you going to eat a bushel of cherries?
28:14 Those are more like candy, too.
28:16 Yeah.
28:16 I know.
28:17 I was just kidding.
28:18 Diluted cough drops.
28:20 I've been workshopping this tweet where
28:22 I was going to just put a jar of maraschino
28:24 and be like, best summertime fruit.
28:26 How often do you workshop tweets?
28:28 Because I feel like you have a bunch of tweets that hit.
28:31 And then I'm wondering how long you've
28:32 been thinking about that.
28:33 It's not even workshopping.
28:34 I have it ready.
28:35 I just haven't seen a bottle of maraschino.
28:37 Maraschino's ready?
28:38 And I was just like, yeah, I'm not going to--
28:39 OK.
28:40 So be on the lookout for that tweet.
28:41 Yeah.
28:42 We've got to put it out before this comes out.
28:44 You're going to have to go on a mission
28:46 to find a bottle of maraschino cherries.
28:47 Yeah, or just go to the grocery store.
28:49 Or that.
28:50 You know, hit the old jewel.
28:54 I can't wait to do this pineapple hack tomorrow.
28:56 Dude, it's not going to work.
28:58 Why?
28:58 It's working on TikTok.
29:01 That's--
29:02 That's a source.
29:02 One of the worst statements I've ever heard from you.
29:04 But like, what do you need to see?
29:06 It's working on TikTok, dude.
29:07 It's a video evidence.
29:08 It's not like somebody told me.
29:10 I saw it.
29:10 And you saw it, too.
29:11 Are your parents on TikTok?
29:14 No, I don't think so.
29:15 No?
29:15 No.
29:16 No.
29:17 Both of them have--
29:19 both of them have--
29:22 I think my dad has Instagram.
29:24 And I think he has Twitter.
29:27 And my mom has all of them.
29:29 But my dad, he has a bunch of different emails.
29:35 He does consulting for a bunch.
29:37 So he always gets locked out of Instagram.
29:40 So it'll be like, oh, like--
29:42 and he just-- it's just-- his username is just
29:44 whatever email that is.
29:45 He has like six Instagram accounts.
29:47 And then he just keeps getting locked back out.
29:49 But I'll see, like, he liked my story or liked my post.
29:51 But it's always from a different account.
29:53 A different account.
29:54 Yeah, because he can never-- he always gets locked out.
29:55 Robert@sbcglobal.com.
29:57 Yeah, yeah.
29:58 He's like your post.
29:58 Exactly.
29:59 That's--
29:59 [CHUCKLES]
30:00 Yeah.
30:00 That was-- there was a kid in grade school.
30:03 He didn't know his Facebook password.
30:07 And he didn't know how to reset it.
30:08 So he just went from Steve to Steven.
30:10 You know, he had just brand new account.
30:12 He just bailed on it.
30:13 So every time it's his birthday, he just--
30:15 there's two of them.
30:16 You know?
30:17 Have we talked about before how when
30:19 you were young creating your first ever email,
30:22 no one really warned you that you
30:24 might be using it for the next decade for business and school
30:27 purposes as well?
30:28 No.
30:29 Yeah, I agree.
30:30 I was like Dan the man, 5304.
30:32 Oh, and you're saying someone should have warned you.
30:34 Well, and then you're like applying for a job.
30:35 And it's like, oh, I'm not going to tell them I'm like SkaterDude69.
30:39 I remember when they told you to not use your initials
30:42 and your real name because it was going to be like identity
30:45 theft on the internet.
30:46 And there was also a time where it wasn't that easy to just make
30:50 a new Gmail, or at least like we weren't savvy enough in tech
30:53 yet.
30:54 But that was a big deal, having to make a new email.
30:56 I remember my college email, they gave it to you.
31:00 They just assigned you your email.
31:02 But it was the first five letters
31:03 of your last name and your first initial
31:05 and your middle initial.
31:06 That was like-- because they didn't
31:10 think that you should have your full name in there.
31:12 Yeah.
31:13 I'll tell you what though.
31:14 I do respect the people who just never let those die.
31:17 Yeah.
31:18 It was like-- it was as late as 20--
31:21 I went to Vegas with my friends in 2016.
31:23 So we're all like 25, 26.
31:27 And we had the one buddy who just gets too hammered.
31:30 And he got pickpocketed on the strip.
31:34 Or he was too drunk and it was his fault.
31:36 But, well, I don't know if that's your fault,
31:38 but maybe he just lost it.
31:40 Whatever.
31:41 And so we're at breakfast the next day.
31:45 And he's on the phone with Chase.
31:46 And then all of a sudden we hear,
31:51 the wonder from down under at gmail.com.
31:55 We're like, dude, you still use the wonder from down under?
31:59 That's what I mean.
31:59 Half my friends who are in the trades,
32:01 they don't really get emails the same way we do.
32:04 So one of them was like pizza parlor Timbo at SBC Global.
32:08 It's like, we can't be giving those out when we're 30.
32:11 Yeah.
32:12 Pizza parlor-- especially my favorite
32:14 is my friends who just went into the trades.
32:19 Or they went into-- who just became firemen or whatever.
32:22 And they just don't really need the technology.
32:25 And they just have no idea.
32:27 They don't even know what's going on.
32:29 They're in a different--
32:30 They're lucky if you have an email address.
32:32 They're-- well, it's like White Sox Dave
32:34 always says about his dad.
32:35 His dad has never had an email.
32:38 Like he's never had-- and he still
32:39 has a flip phone for text.
32:40 Like it's--
32:42 He has to have an email.
32:43 Right.
32:44 Professionally, or like--
32:46 I don't know.
32:47 Someone in the bank or someone in combat
32:49 is going to try to contact you via email at one point.
32:52 Do you think that you could even--
32:55 let's say you're trying to do anything.
32:57 If you went into a job, you're like, no, I don't have an email.
32:59 No.
32:59 Yeah.
33:00 That's what I'm saying.
33:01 Same with the phone.
33:02 You can't not have a cell phone.
33:03 Well, and that's why they--
33:04 I remember this was a political thing a while ago.
33:07 They're like, oh, they're giving out free cell phones to people.
33:10 Like the Obama phones.
33:12 And it's like, well, if you want people
33:13 to be able to get a job--
33:15 Yeah.
33:16 --they have to-- the employers have to be able to contact them.
33:19 Or you're just going to ask them to sit at home all day.
33:22 So it's like, that's not even like--
33:23 Right.
33:24 --it's not the worst idea to give people cell phones
33:26 so they can get back into the workforce,
33:28 because that's the reality.
33:30 I actually believe that's a big problem with homeless people
33:32 is like when they go to apply for jobs,
33:33 they don't have an address.
33:34 And they kind of just get outruled right there.
33:36 Yeah, totally.
33:37 Definitely.
33:38 I don't know.
33:38 How far can you take it, though, not actually having an address?
33:42 Like you're telling me you're a pro-produce,
33:44 but you don't have an address?
33:45 Like they would have really checked?
33:47 It's not like they're necessarily sending mail.
33:48 Back then, yes.
33:49 I mean, of course, the problem is say, I don't have a home.
33:52 But I don't know if they're ever really contacting me.
33:54 There's got to be a way.
33:57 I bet you you could put a shelter's address or--
33:59 Yeah.
34:00 --you would think.
34:01 Sure.
34:02 Nowadays, it's like a few--
34:03 like back in the day, yeah, they vetted that shit.
34:06 There's probably so many people who like have a little bit of--
34:09 I don't want to say egg on their face,
34:11 because who could predict what happened?
34:12 And if you lose employees, like it sucks.
34:14 And if it wasn't your fault. But there's probably so many places
34:17 that were just so strict about hiring
34:20 and who they let through the-- and now they're like just
34:22 begging.
34:23 You know?
34:23 Yeah.
34:24 Like just standards just have gone different.
34:27 You know?
34:27 Yeah.
34:28 Well, you've got a lot of problems
34:30 that contribute to that.
34:31 So yeah.
34:34 People are desperate for workers.
34:35 That's for sure.
34:37 It seems that-- do you think we'll ever be fully out of that?
34:42 All right.
34:44 It depends on leadership.
34:45 Yeah.
34:46 I think it's possible to get out of that.
34:48 But it's like a--
34:49 this is like a public policy podcast now.
34:51 But yeah, I think it's possible to get out of that.
34:53 No, but even though, remember, it
34:54 wasn't like in the service industry,
34:56 people were just not going back.
34:59 You're saying, are we getting out of that from COVID?
35:01 Yes.
35:02 It's been a problem since COVID hiring people?
35:04 Since COVID, to be clear.
35:06 Well, yeah.
35:07 But I think that that's a policy thing.
35:09 So there's a lot of factors for that.
35:12 I don't even want to--
35:14 but yeah, people were getting more benefits
35:16 than they could get at their jobs.
35:18 There's other people to fill those jobs.
35:19 There were a lot of--
35:22 there were things that were happening in the country that
35:24 were artificially keeping wages down that just made it not
35:27 worth it to go back.
35:28 And yeah, so there's a lot of factors at play.
35:32 But yeah, I think we can get to a place
35:34 if there's proper policy where the economy is normal again.
35:39 Would be nice.
35:40 It'd be nice if things were normal.
35:42 I've said before, I'll say it again,
35:44 growing up, the stereotypical dream job was like,
35:46 make six figures and get to work from home.
35:48 That's like the new standard now.
35:50 It's insane.
35:51 The motivation is probably gone.
35:53 I saw a-- because that was always like--
35:57 you always hear that about girls will say that, right?
35:59 They want to be six feet, make six figures.
36:03 I was six inch dick.
36:05 I feel like I've seen Alex Bennett in What's Her Face
36:08 say that.
36:08 Work his ass off, but I don't want work to be the problem.
36:11 Be rich, but I don't want work to get in the way of it.
36:13 Right.
36:15 But I saw something in New York City
36:17 now that if you live in New York, six figures isn't shit.
36:22 So to meet that standard of living,
36:26 that the six figures mean something,
36:28 you actually have to be making $300,000 to be like,
36:31 oh, I'm making six--
36:32 and that's versus what it was in 2007.
36:36 So in the last 15 years, the cost of living
36:41 has gone up so much in New York to be able to be like,
36:45 I have some--
36:46 six figures used to be like, I got a little bit of money
36:49 to throw around.
36:50 Now it's just like, I'm scraping by in New York City
36:54 because rent prices are fucking insane.
36:56 Everything's fucking insane.
36:58 Inflation everywhere is a problem.
36:59 It's a big problem in New York.
37:01 It's a miracle how people do it out there.
37:03 And we're not even like--
37:04 But I think that they're fucking miserable.
37:05 Honored, you're saying, there's many people
37:07 who make under that who struggle.
37:09 Yeah, definitely.
37:10 But that's what I mean.
37:12 I think if you're making $100,000 in New York,
37:14 you're probably fine.
37:15 But $100,000 15 years ago was like, oh, this guy's
37:19 a little bit of a baller.
37:20 Yeah.
37:20 Now it's not.
37:21 You're not bragging about $100,000 anymore.
37:23 Right.
37:23 Exactly.
37:24 That's a good way to put it.
37:25 That's true.
37:25 Yeah.
37:26 But you're right.
37:27 $100,000 in New York, now you've got two roommates.
37:29 Yeah.
37:31 I think that's the situation.
37:33 And no central air.
37:33 Yeah.
37:35 What do you think of window units?
37:36 You have three.
37:37 I have three.
37:37 How are they?
37:39 So this is the first place I've ever lived that had them.
37:44 And I would prefer to not have them.
37:46 If I could-- if it was like, could I have central air
37:48 or other units?
37:48 But they're not bad at all.
37:49 They keep the place cool.
37:51 They're not-- I remember Dave being like,
37:53 your electric bills have got to be through the roof.
37:55 They're not.
37:56 And they're just on, and it's fine.
37:59 Do you have ceiling fans?
38:02 I do, but I never use them.
38:04 And I actually-- like that--
38:06 I'm not flicking you off, but when
38:08 I was watching the Forest a couple years--
38:10 or it was last fall, and they beat Liverpool.
38:13 I like jumped up, celebrated, and smashed my hand
38:16 through the ceiling fan.
38:17 Was that a sharp blade or something?
38:18 How did it create a cut?
38:19 It was a big fucking glass bulb.
38:22 Like a-- what do you call it?
38:23 Like a light cover, light cover fixture on the ceiling fan.
38:26 I just smashed the shit out of it.
38:28 And you need to get out the stitches or whatever.
38:30 And I just never replaced it.
38:31 And the ceiling fan just in the main living area doesn't work.
38:35 Someone told me the ceiling fans are outdated now.
38:38 No, that's not true.
38:39 That's what I heard.
38:40 Who said that?
38:42 Because obviously, I just bought a place.
38:44 And I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.
38:46 I'm not going through it, trying to figure out.
38:48 Like ceiling fans, ceiling fans are kind of outdated now.
38:51 So you know.
38:53 I don't think that that's true.
38:55 Give me a replacement then.
38:56 Like I had no ceiling fans in my old place,
38:59 and the humidity in there, if there was nothing else
39:01 on, ceiling fans do a lot to help.
39:03 But you're saying from like an aesthetic.
39:05 Yes.
39:05 Yeah.
39:06 I don't think that's true at all.
39:08 And if you go to like, I don't know,
39:13 any like interior design Instagram or whatever
39:16 like that, there's ceiling fans everywhere.
39:17 They're all like-- that's a stupid thing.
39:19 I also-- I'm never going to be a person that's
39:21 chasing the latest thing.
39:23 That's how you end up with like fucking shag carpeting and shit
39:26 from the-- you know, like you just--
39:28 you look terrible.
39:28 Give me exposed brick.
39:30 Give me hardwood.
39:31 That's all I fucking need.
39:32 What about colors?
39:33 Do you like white and gray?
39:34 Is that--
39:35 I like-- I'm probably a neutral color guy.
39:37 But I don't know how to like-- if I'm-- this is like a--
39:40 this is like a blind spot for me.
39:41 I don't know how to make things look nice.
39:43 Do you know how to make things look nice?
39:45 Fuck no.
39:45 All right.
39:46 You knew the answer to that question before you asked it.
39:47 Yeah.
39:47 I just wanted a little solidarity here.
39:49 Yeah.
39:49 Yeah.
39:50 That's a big problem.
39:52 Yeah.
39:52 Just get a girl over and they'll move things around.
39:55 Yeah.
39:55 I'll need to.
39:56 Yeah.
39:56 Pick out the rugs and stuff like that.
39:58 Yeah.
39:59 All right then.
40:00 Anything else, anybody?
40:02 Nope.
40:03 No.
40:03 Jeff Morrow from the Food Network's coming on tomorrow.
40:06 It was a fun interview.
40:07 He just followed me on Instagram.
40:09 That was nice.
40:10 Made a good chat.
40:11 Yeah.
40:12 He gave his take on who won the draft this week.
40:17 Good timing with him coming on.
40:18 Yeah, Regional Foods.
40:19 Regional Foods, yeah.
40:20 Was it me?
40:22 I'm not going to say.
40:23 You have to listen to find out.
40:24 I did not tell him who was who either, obviously.
40:27 I'm sure you tried to fix it somehow, though.
40:30 Nope.
40:31 Harry could vouch.
40:32 It was-- wrong mic.
40:37 Yeah, it was honest.
40:40 I'll say that.
40:41 Yeah, Harry was super convincing with that.
40:43 Yeah, it was honest.
40:46 Don't hurt me, Eddie.
40:48 Yeah.
40:49 All right, everybody.
40:50 Thanks for listening.
40:50 Thanks for watching.
40:51 Back tomorrow with Jeff.
40:52 We will see you then.
40:54 (whooshing)
40:57 (whooshing)