The Elvira Show | movie | 1993 | Official Clip
A pair of witches and their pet cat welcome a long-lost niece into their new Kansas home and also have to contend with a | dG1fbW9SRFNtQ2M1N3c
Transcript
00:00 Chip! Chip, are you okay? Chip!
00:05 Gosh, he's hard as a rock!
00:09 Well, wasn't that the whole point?
00:12 Wait a minute, what's this?
00:16 Timber!
00:18 Oh my Godzilla, he's a policeman!
00:24 What am I gonna do with a big stiff cop?
00:27 I beg your pardon?
00:30 Oh my God, they're back!
00:33 I can't let Paige see Chip like this!
00:36 Hi!
00:48 Hi, you're back early!
00:49 They ran out of cakes! Aunt Minerva won them all, it was incredible!
00:54 Just beginner's luck!
00:56 There's more in the car!
00:58 Minerva, look at this!
01:00 It's Chip!
01:01 My love potion turned him stiff as a board!
01:04 Well, wasn't that the whole point?
01:07 He's an undercover cop!
01:10 Oh my goodness, you could get the chair for turning him into a table!
01:14 Minerva, you gotta do something to loosen him up!
01:17 Well, um, how about a martini and a massage?
01:21 Well, maybe later, but right now I think we ought to do something about Chip!
01:26 Wait a minute, let me see.
01:29 Reverse the spell from this lovely madam, I command thee now, up and at 'em!
01:38 It's working! It's working!
01:41 Uh-oh, I think I put too much up in his atom!
01:46 By the way, I know the refrigerator's finished defrosting, so I'll have some place to put these.
01:53 Uh, what are you doing?
01:55 Oh, just a little redecorating!
01:58 Really? Here, Aunt Minerva?
02:01 Devil's food, my favorite!
02:06 How do you explain this?
02:09 Oh, Paige, you know how I like to pick up men?
02:15 I don't believe it, but it's true! Both of you, you're witches!
02:20 Witches? Us?
02:23 Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee!
02:31 It's no use, she's on to us.
02:33 Okay, what are you gonna do, turn us in?
02:36 No, I just don't want any part of this. I'm leaving.
02:40 Well, break out the champagne and little friskies!
02:43 That's enough out of you, you nasty old cat!
02:47 Paige, you heard Renfield talk?
02:49 Yes, so?
02:51 Only a witch can hear animals' thoughts.
02:55 Paige, you're one of us!
02:57 No, no, I'm not like you. I want to be normal, like everybody else. I hate being different.
03:04 But what's wrong with being different? Look where it's gotten me!
03:09 No, what I meant to say is, you're the only you you have, and if you're not going to be you, who is going to be you?
03:20 Who? I don't know, I was just trying to make you feel better.
03:25 But I wouldn't be trying if I didn't really care.
03:28 And we do, dear. Very, very much.
03:33 Attention, this is District Attorney Lindsay Olsen-Weinberg!
03:39 It's the cops!
03:41 I'm out of here, ciao!
03:43 We're just about there! If Officer Chip Taylor does not come out in one minute, we're coming in after him!
03:51 Come and get me, you dirty coppers!
03:55 Ms. Norville, what is the matter with you?
03:57 Nothing, I just always wanted to say that.
04:02 You see what I mean? Using witchcraft causes nothing but trouble!
04:06 Minerva, take Paige and sneak out the secret tunnel! I'm turning myself in!
04:12 Into what?
04:14 Just remember, Paige, I'm not just doing this for you, but for our kind everywhere.
04:22 And all the other freaks and misfits who dare to be different.
04:27 Because if I have to live in a world where everybody is forced to be the same, well, they may as well just lock me away.
04:34 Because I'll already be living in prison.
04:39 That's it, we're coming in!
04:47 No!
04:49 Oh my God!
04:51 (Ghostly voices)
04:59 An Elvira! Kiss him!
05:02 No, I never kiss a man who smokes!
05:06 You have to reverse the spell, do it!
05:11 Chip!
05:14 Oh!
05:17 This is a bust!
05:19 No, this is a bust!
05:24 You're under arrest!
05:26 For what?
05:27 For selling Lorraine Weisner a potion that put her in the hospital!
05:30 But that was just some plain old herb tea and...
05:33 Okay, well, a couple of toenail clippings.
05:37 Tell that to the judge!
05:40 Oh, Elvira, what are you doing?
05:43 Probably eight to ten, thanks to you, Lorraine.
05:47 Miss Weisner, I'm glad you're here. Now you can officially press charges against this woman for poisoning you.
05:53 But I wasn't poisoned! I got pneumonia from dancing around a candle naked!
06:00 But I can still arrest her for selling phony love potions!
06:03 But the love potion worked. If I hadn't have been hospitalized, I never would have met my fiancé, Dr. Marvin Zislis.
06:14 I just dropped by to say thank you for making Lorraine sick.
06:20 It was my pleasure. But why don't you come back later when I'm not tied up?
06:26 Now, now, get me out of here or I'll sue you for penetrating my civil rights!
06:31 Let her go, let her go.
06:34 Chip! How could you have kissed that trash?
06:38 Hey, honey, at least trash gets picked up sometime.
06:46 Look, Elvira, I'm real sorry about all this. No hard feelings?
06:51 I don't know. Maybe later.
06:55 Chip!
06:59 Would you like another piece of cake, dear?
07:11 No. If I have any more cake, I'm gonna blow up like a poison dog in the sun.
07:17 Paige, this tea is delicious. What's in it?
07:20 Oh, just some things I found in the pantry.
07:23 Which things?
07:25 Yes, they were.
07:27 No, I mean, what's in it?
07:29 Oh, it's just herb tea.
07:32 And some toenail clippings.
07:36 No, it was a joke. I think.
07:43 Almost, dear. But you're learning.
07:46 Yeah, before you know it, we'll have you flying around here in a pointy hat and a pointy bra.
07:52 Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee!
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