Emmerdale 26th July 2023-n
Category
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TVTranscript
00:00 [Music]
00:28 Uncle Wayne, see you in the shower.
00:31 Ah, there you are.
00:36 Well, it suits you, darling.
00:41 Huh, suited Priya more. She left it.
00:45 So, you're wearing it?
00:47 Reuse and recycle.
00:50 Wish she was coming home for the wedding tomorrow.
00:54 Be nice to her, someone there who loves me.
00:57 Everybody loves you.
01:01 Arthur literally thinks you're iconic.
01:03 Hence yesterday's intervention.
01:06 Backfired.
01:08 Look, I adore Jay, but we all know he can be a bit, "Ahh!"
01:12 You know, hot air, flappy hands, loves a crisis.
01:15 A bit beyond a crisis.
01:18 He's cut me off completely.
01:21 Look, Uncle Rish, if maybe there is more that Jay needs to know,
01:26 isn't it worth just saying it?
01:29 There is no more.
01:31 Well, we're just going to have to wait for him to climb off his high horse.
01:35 So, shape up and quit moping.
01:38 Those frown lines are going to cost a fortune to fix.
01:41 He's right. After everything you told Arthur, I'm moving on with life.
01:46 So, shower, yeah?
01:48 Sashay away.
01:53 Well, there's me all packed up for Venice tomorrow.
01:56 Is, er... Is he going to be all right?
01:59 Take him with you. I'm sure Bill won't mind.
02:01 She does know that I'm going to be your plus one, yeah?
02:04 Ooh, romantic break for four?
02:06 In my nightmares.
02:08 Yeah, go on, leave me here to men Rish's broken heart.
02:11 I'll send you both a postcard, huh?
02:20 - Here you go, Pop. - Oh, done to perfection, thanks, Jimmy.
02:23 Anything to put a smile back on your face.
02:25 Like that on make-up for wandering Wendy in the dirty dark.
02:28 Nico!
02:30 Taft, the use of the sofa,
02:32 saved me from being under the same roof as her.
02:35 Mmm, bit of a shocker, all this.
02:37 Yeah, I mean, Wendy.
02:39 She's a very passionate woman.
02:41 Clearly. I'd best get to work.
02:43 - Do you think everybody will be talking? - No. - Definitely.
02:46 But I'll be the soul of discretion.
02:48 You take as long as you need, lovey, yeah? Bye.
02:51 Bye.
02:52 Look at me skulking.
02:54 Think I was the guilty one?
02:56 I thought Liam was decent.
02:59 Anyway, mate, you let yourself out when you're ready.
03:04 But remember,
03:08 that B&B, it's your gaff.
03:11 Go get a toll.
03:14 (Door opens)
03:16 Lying to Bob's bad enough, but lying to me?
03:21 Oh, but I knew you'd tell me to end it again.
03:25 And a good thing, too, judging by this.
03:27 Oh, Victoria, it was just awful.
03:31 I was on the cusp of coming clean, but then, of course,
03:34 Bernice had to get in there first, didn't she?
03:36 Bob's little face.
03:38 Have I had a midlife crisis?
03:42 You could ask a doctor.
03:44 - Latte to go, please, Brenda. - Certainly.
03:49 You look a bit peaky. Not working too hard, are you?
03:52 No, no, no. I mean, yes, obviously, I work very hard, but...
03:55 Poppycock!
03:57 The bags under his eyes are nothing to do with curing the sick.
04:00 They're cos he's been gadding around
04:02 playing hunt the thermometer with that floozy.
04:04 What's hunt the...
04:06 Oh! Well, you two!
04:08 OK, forget the latte. Thank you.
04:10 Oh, go on, then, run away,
04:12 while poor old Bob's dossing down on some crummy sofa.
04:15 Oi! That sofa cost me an arm and a leg.
04:18 Go on, then, you toddle off after him.
04:20 If it's any of your business, I'm not running after him.
04:23 I'm trying to get away from you.
04:25 Glass houses, Bernice. Glass houses.
04:30 I'll get it! I'm not looking!
04:33 - I'm not looking! - Oh, no, no, no, don't, don't, don't!
04:37 - Oh! - Come in.
04:39 Ha! Just the man.
04:40 Er, whatever it is, it wasn't me.
04:42 Bridezilla here wants fairy lights for the reception,
04:45 but they're up at Hull Gate, so...
04:47 Perfect. Take a cake, you and Uncle Rish can sort your little tiff out.
04:50 What? So living a lie for 40 years is a little tiff?
04:53 OK, not a tiff.
04:55 What I mean is, tomorrow's the big day.
04:58 Imagine putting all this aside, shiny new start.
05:01 No. Jay.
05:03 Discussion over.
05:06 Am I in bother?
05:08 Well, I was...
05:10 going to ask you to be my best man, but...
05:13 Me? But surely I'll overshadow you my roguish good looks.
05:17 - Fair point. - Oi!
05:19 I know it's last minute and...
05:21 Well, I wasn't going to bother, but, well, you're here, aren't you?
05:24 - And you're desperate. - Yeah.
05:26 It'll be an honour, Jay.
05:28 You know Uncle Rish is still planning on...
05:33 You just focus on your speech, OK?
05:36 - Speech? - Mm.
05:38 Don't let me down, handsome.
05:40 There.
05:47 - Box out of ten. - I'd give you a solid eight, love.
05:50 Great teeth, nice hair, I'd even be pushed to a nine.
05:52 I meant the beer.
05:54 Oh, right, OK. Well, there's a...
05:56 a bit of spillage, but, er...
05:59 a generous five.
06:01 Oh, cheers.
06:03 Ah.
06:06 Supping coffee doesn't quite work in a boozer.
06:09 The cafe was a little crowded.
06:13 Have you ever fallen in love with somebody you shouldn't have?
06:18 Er, Buzzcocks, 1978.
06:21 I have.
06:24 It's Wendy.
06:27 Oh.
06:29 Ah, so that's what Bob was fishing for.
06:32 I feel bad for him, I really do.
06:35 I wanted her a lot, and I still do.
06:37 I suppose you think that doesn't make me any better than Al,
06:40 what he and Chas did to Paddy.
06:42 Oh, no, no, no, no, technically...
06:44 I still know how I'm gonna cope, seeing her at work every day.
06:47 Well, heart rules the head, lad.
06:49 It's what makes us human.
06:57 Right.
06:59 On your own?
07:01 Yes.
07:03 My son has disowned me.
07:05 Oh, right.
07:07 I was just making small talk.
07:09 Actually, I had noticed that things were a bit tense at the stand.
07:13 £3.80, please.
07:16 If by tense you mean Jay hates me...
07:19 cos I'm not his real dad.
07:24 # Nonsense tonight
07:27 # Do you miss me tonight? #
07:29 Knock, knock.
07:31 Sorry, miles away.
07:33 # Are you sorry? #
07:35 Isn't Nicola at the cafe?
07:37 You have come to see.
07:39 Oh, tittle-tattle travels fast.
07:41 Well, I'm not a tittle-tattler, so I wouldn't know.
07:44 I suppose you think it's karma.
07:46 Bonking Bob, getting a taste of his own medicine.
07:49 I'd be a bit of an old bag if I said that.
07:52 How long's it been going on?
07:54 Two months.
07:57 Should have seen the signs.
08:01 Turns out lurking in bushes looking for blue tits wasn't enough.
08:05 So does that mean that you and Wendy are over?
08:10 Oh, only that the, um, kids seem to quite like her now.
08:14 I know. Our Kathy's been through enough.
08:17 Where am I going wrong, Brenda?
08:19 You didn't go wrong this time, Bob. She did.
08:22 So why aren't I over at the B&B, then, slicing up her skirts,
08:26 putting itching powder in her pants drawer?
08:29 Why do I still love her?
08:31 Oh, look at that.
08:33 A royal flush.
08:36 Hustler.
08:38 The Lord Almighty bless me with a talent.
08:41 Shame God's let it together, but it could help prop up your pension.
08:44 Hey, son, I'm teaching your father poker.
08:47 Not got enough bad habits?
08:49 Always room for more. Hey, join us.
08:52 Er, I only came in to see if Mampree was on lunch.
08:55 Bye.
08:58 Ooh, colder than a church pew in December.
09:03 Give over. Charles has given you a chance. I heard him.
09:06 Well, even men of the cloth can tell porkies.
09:09 Equally deadlier.
09:10 No, son, but it ain't right.
09:12 Me and him pretending that we're all good.
09:14 Pretending?
09:15 Because once the B&B cash runs out, that's it.
09:18 I'm gone. Homeless.
09:21 How you spend hours getting that church ready with Ashley for weddings.
09:25 Now here we are.
09:28 Yeah.
09:29 He'll be happy for us, you know.
09:31 And I feel at peace knowing that he'd be glad to see us as a family.
09:35 I'm not sure how peaceful things have felt recently.
09:38 Yeah, I know, but that's not your fault, is it?
09:40 I mean, before all this, I know that Rishi would be your best man,
09:44 but what he was saying about making up, will you just think about it?
09:47 Oh, please, not now.
09:49 I just don't want the stress.
09:51 I want fun and posh frocks and bad dance moves.
09:56 And I want you.
09:58 Mum?
10:04 Has someone forgotten my invitation to the big day?
10:09 MUSIC
10:12 Get back in that taxi!
10:22 I expected that response,
10:24 and I'm going nowhere until this whole debacle has been sorted.
10:28 Why am I not invited? Rishi tells me he is.
10:32 What, so you just turn up here and try and muscle your way in?
10:35 You're my son.
10:37 I shouldn't have to muscle my way in to anything, let alone your wedding.
10:41 Shall we do this inside?
10:43 No.
10:44 Dad is coming to the wedding for the kid's sake, nothing else.
10:48 Other than that, I want nothing to do with him,
10:50 or you, cos I know you're keeping secrets.
10:53 Get that out of your head!
10:56 The only thing we've ever wanted, it was for you to have a happy childhood.
11:00 You're our son.
11:03 Nothing else really matters.
11:05 Except the truth.
11:07 Go home, Mum.
11:09 I... I know he's angry, but...
11:14 I want to see you get married.
11:17 Listen, you go to the cafe and, um, I'll sort this out.
11:21 Thank you, Laura. I'm sorry to spring this on you today.
11:24 No, no, no, no. Me and Jay have had many hiccups, OK?
11:27 We...
11:29 We'll be fine, OK?
11:32 SHE SIGHS
11:34 Bob?
11:41 Oh!
11:44 Come armed with your rotten fruit, have you?
11:47 Bernice has something she would like to say to you.
11:50 Are those officially B&B tissues?
11:54 Bernice!
11:56 Bob brings out a very nurturing side of me.
11:59 Cut the flannel.
12:01 You want to get in his trousers? Eh?
12:03 My feelings for Bob are purely platonic.
12:06 Oh, what a fat lie.
12:08 Bob told me. Oh, you nearly got it on.
12:11 I can't keep up. Look, whatever my feelings for him,
12:14 Bob has never once betrayed you.
12:17 And if I could turn the clock back, I would.
12:20 I was flattered by Liam.
12:22 And thrilled that somebody else actually fancied me.
12:26 Well, he is rather dishy.
12:28 I listened to my ego instead of...
12:31 ..what I really, truly wanted, and now it's too late.
12:35 Oh, you silly bear.
12:38 I thought it was only Bernice who was a romantic car crash.
12:42 I really do love him.
12:44 I do.
12:47 I love our life.
12:49 Do you really think I've lost him for good?
12:54 SHE SOBS
12:58 CAR ENGINE ROARS
13:00 Hm.
13:06 It doesn't look too thin.
13:08 Only I assume there must be some pages missing.
13:11 The ones on forgiveness and lying.
13:14 You told me one thing, then you did another.
13:16 Your father's living on borrowed time.
13:18 We're all living on borrowed time in some way, Mother.
13:21 OK, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lied.
13:25 Pretended that we'd made up.
13:27 But you know why I want him gone?
13:29 Mum...
13:32 ..what happened in Maitland Avenue?
13:34 I'm not discussing it. But we never have.
13:36 And it stays that way!
13:38 Sorry, should I... should I go?
13:41 I'm just making it clear I don't need protecting.
13:44 Charles, I know your father better now than ever.
13:55 He's different.
13:57 Changed.
13:59 Found God. Convenient.
14:01 You can't help who you...
14:03 There's never been anyone else.
14:07 Still time? Dad.
14:09 Son, I'm going to lose him.
14:13 This time bomb ticking in his brain.
14:15 He has no idea how long he's got.
14:18 He wants us to be a family again.
14:20 Well, we still can.
14:22 Can you really deny him that?
14:24 Please?
14:26 For me?
14:28 Sure.
14:30 No more pushing him to go?
14:32 Thank you.
14:38 Here.
14:48 Lubricate your creative flow.
14:51 God, Jay's boy.
14:53 There's got to be something.
14:55 I need puking police cells or naked selfies.
14:59 Well, just ask around.
15:02 Someone must have known him when he was young and fun.
15:05 Who? Uncle Rish?
15:07 He might just sit there and cry.
15:09 What about family back home?
15:11 Er, no, I don't think so.
15:14 Why?
15:16 TikTok. This isn't helping.
15:18 Well, I'm sorry, but you're just going to have to wing it then.
15:21 Great. Loving the sport, babes.
15:23 Here's to hilarious made-up claptrap.
15:26 You'd better be there to laugh along.
15:28 Poof, no.
15:30 Gabby might stab me with a Kirk Falk.
15:32 True.
15:34 Shame, though, for you to miss my comedy genius.
15:37 Perhaps I could give you a one-to-one audience.
15:41 Might even cook you my world's greatest slam biryani.
15:45 Look, I did say yesterday
15:47 that I'm not after anything more than...
15:49 A gaming buddy, yeah, OK, but please, chill out.
15:53 Look, no offence, but this whole Gabby thing's left you
15:56 buttoned up tighter than Nuns Cardy.
15:58 Charming.
16:01 All I'm saying is, let me cook you dinner
16:03 and stop worrying I'm going to pounce on you.
16:06 Cos, shock horror, you might actually enjoy it.
16:09 I told her to stay away!
16:11 But you know what? This is them all over.
16:14 Selfish. Do you love them?
16:16 I don't love the lice.
16:18 No, but do you love them as Mum and Dad?
16:20 I wish I'd never found out, but there is more to this.
16:24 They are holding something back.
16:26 They've already told you the biggest secret.
16:28 Rishi adopted you.
16:30 But they both want to see you get married.
16:32 They both love you.
16:34 They call themselves Mum and Dad because that's what they are.
16:37 And you're very lucky.
16:39 So speak to them.
16:41 Take the first step.
16:44 (BIRDS CHIRP)
16:46 Bob, look, do you think we ought to...?
16:52 Shut up, Liam!
16:54 Shall I come back inside?
16:59 And, I mean, do you want me to stay?
17:02 Not right now. But I need to know where I stand.
17:05 Bob! Look, I'm sorry, I can't do this yet.
17:08 Just, please, just stay away!
17:11 (BREATHES HEAVILY)
17:13 We never intended to hurt him.
17:19 We never intended to consider his feelings at all.
17:22 Hey. No.
17:24 I'm strictly professional.
17:28 I meant what I said, you know.
17:34 I really did see a future for us.
17:38 (BIRDS CHIRP)
17:40 Pint of zero, please, Gail.
17:44 You weren't always a father to Paddy,
17:48 and he's forgiven you.
17:50 Well, this chump never even knew he existed.
17:54 Some other lucky fellow raised Paddy for me,
17:57 and, by heck, do I envy him.
17:59 Well, try being stuck in the clink.
18:01 We were boys' best years.
18:03 You two look like saints.
18:05 Can I join the party?
18:07 Pity party? Sit down, lad.
18:10 Look, now, Tom here knows what a top dad you've been,
18:14 and, from what I heard,
18:16 Jay is not the easiest.
18:18 Yeah.
18:20 Shh.
18:22 He got addicted to cocaine,
18:26 and he's not allowed to drink either.
18:28 Yeah, and I bet you've always had his back.
18:31 This should not go further.
18:34 He attacked me once, after I found his stash.
18:38 And then there's been his numerous affairs.
18:42 I reckon you've been too soft on him, pal.
18:45 I reckon it's home time, eh?
18:48 You are thirsty.
18:50 I am?
18:52 You've got a beautiful smile.
18:54 Oh.
18:56 And you've got a...
18:58 lovely, shiny head.
19:00 (BOTH LAUGH)
19:03 Oh.
19:05 Urgent call-out. I've got to go.
19:08 Hey, switch to mocktails, eh?
19:12 I'll see you later.
19:14 Mocktails?
19:16 Is he suggesting I'm drunk?
19:19 Young people.
19:21 No respect.
19:23 Ah, like Jay.
19:25 They should be thanking you for raising him.
19:27 But you've run a sweet factory.
19:30 Talk about Willy Wonka.
19:32 Every kid's dream.
19:34 Yeah, you're right.
19:36 And he's...
19:38 frosting me out.
19:39 Hey, whoa, whoa, steady on. What are you after?
19:42 To give my son...
19:46 a piece of my mind.
19:48 (LAUGHS)
19:50 Wait, do you think that's a good idea?
19:53 Georgia?
20:02 Oh, is she?
20:04 The state of it.
20:08 Still can't handle a shandy, I see.
20:11 My son has rejected me.
20:16 Well, hopefully I'm here to rectify that.
20:19 Have you already spoken to him?
20:21 Please tell me he doesn't know the truth.
20:24 I knew it!
20:26 Jay?
20:28 The truth about what?
20:29 Nothing, love. It's your father. He's three sheets to the wind.
20:32 No, no, no, no, no, no. I knew there was more.
20:34 There isn't.
20:35 And to think I was coming to sort it out with you.
20:37 What's going on?
20:38 I was right. They're hiding something.
20:40 Is it about my real dad?
20:42 I've told you everything.
20:43 What, that I'm the product of a fumble?
20:45 Disrespectful.
20:46 Oh, Jay, leave it.
20:47 No, they're lying.
20:48 Of course, you've always been a model parent.
20:49 What?
20:50 At least I'm honest with my kids. I do what's right.
20:52 So it's right to take a life?
20:54 Who is she?
20:56 Oh, Laurel.
20:57 I didn't mean it like that.
20:59 You disgust me.
21:00 So that's how you feel, then?
21:02 About the abortion?
21:03 No.
21:04 No, you don't understand.
21:06 What I meant to say was...
21:08 I don't know what other sordid secrets you're keeping,
21:13 but I know I don't want you anywhere near my family.
21:16 Not now, not tomorrow, not ever.
21:18 Well done.
21:20 You've probably lost our son for good.
21:24 I'm sorry, I can't.
21:26 (DOG BARKING)
21:29 (DOG BARKING)
21:32 (DRAMATIC MUSIC)
21:34 And if you want to take a stroll past the Woolpack or David's shop,
21:38 you can book on the Emmerdale Village Tour
21:40 at emmerdalevillagetour.co.uk.
21:43 Next on ITV1, it's Coronation Street.
21:47 (DRAMATIC MUSIC)
21:50 (MUSIC CONTINUES)
21:53 (MUSIC CONCLUDES)
21:56 (MUSIC CONCLUDES)
21:59 (MUSIC CONCLUDES)
22:01 (upbeat music)