Manhood Episode 9 Can Women Have Guy Friends?
Manhood Episode 9 Can Women Have Guy Friends?
Transcript
00:00 Manhood. Brought to you by Jameson. Natural sources since 1922 and Racetrack.
00:08 Thanks for joining us again on Manhood. Another conversation about all things
00:18 man, boys, I mean we even talk about women as because all that is part of manhood
00:26 and what it takes to be a man. And again I always want to reiterate that what it
00:30 takes to be a man is not based on testosterone or whether you like sports.
00:34 It's simply based on a behavior and your moral standard and that's what we're
00:38 trying to communicate and get across here in these conversations that we have.
00:43 I hope you've been enjoying it so far and taking note of a lot of what we're
00:47 saying because as much as we try to bring some element of humor and meet
00:51 people where they're at, the topics and the message is one that is very, very
00:57 serious. I'm delighted with our panel today.
01:01 Johansi Aoudike, behavior change consultant, one of my really good
01:06 friends, though we don't support the same football side, Jason Williams and the
01:13 one and only Niall McNish. So last conversation we were talking about
01:22 why do men cheat and of course we then went on to why do women cheat, why do we
01:29 cheat and that really brought about some really engaging conversation and
01:36 gave me pause for transgressions in the past. Today's topic is specifically now
01:43 and it's gonna be a big one, can women have guy friends? I'm just gonna open the
01:51 floor. Alright, I'll put it as a general, can men and women be friends? Right? And I would say no
02:02 firstly because and be friends and just stay friends. Right. What to me what
02:10 entails being a friend is a sharing of certain intimate details of your life
02:14 and when you share that with someone eventually of the opposite sex
02:20 eventually feelings will start. Right? More than platonic feelings. So you
02:26 could have a female associate, let's say okay you're married in a committed
02:30 relationship, you can have somebody of the opposite sex as an associate, as a
02:35 colleague, when you reach the realms of friend, that's where danger could start because
02:41 there's emotional sharing, there's intimate sharing and both of you
02:45 will kind of get into each other's life in a certain degree that could start to
02:50 grow things. But Gia I just want to, go ahead, I have my point. I was just gonna say I
02:56 mean intimate sharing yes but does that necessarily mean the relationship will
03:00 get a place of intimacy and I do feel so especially if there's no kind of sexual
03:07 energy or no attraction really because I mean don't get me wrong, it have friends,
03:11 female friends, you will have who you might might actually be a type and if
03:14 they slip. They slide. But then there's not a friend. Well you start off as friends but I mean a position, a situation, present itself, a nice cool night somewhere in the bay.
03:28 A cool night in the bay. It's softening, it's softening. It must be real. So as opposed to let's say a friend that that's your friend and the night could be cool, it could be whatever but you're cool.
03:40 But you know I want to really explore. Attraction is important. Now I even want to contest that but just to touch on what, start off with what Johansi said.
03:51 Where's that line ever done? So you know you always hear when you're dating,
03:57 are we an item now? People ask the question at what point do you become an
04:02 item? Are you dating? Does it mean that you can date other people when those
04:05 conversations don't happen? So if I have a colleague, at what point is it evident
04:10 that we are now friends? If I'm your colleague for eight years and we've
04:15 shared some conversations, even if it's a case of how that party was or how that
04:22 line was or my condolences or congratulations on your wedding, these
04:27 are things that when do you cross over into what could be seen as a
04:32 friendship? And therefore it still comes down to the point of can I be friends?
04:37 And to touch on what you said, attraction, matraction. Once you reach a
04:45 point of like you said you cool, it's a cool night in Tobago, man is man.
04:50 And opportunity is opportunity and there are times, Jay, let's be honest.
04:56 Man is woman is woman. You know those things that I've heard, I mean I've
05:02 heard conversations about these things like peepholes and things like that,
05:05 right? And lights off, whatever the case may be, and something happening. Does
05:14 it matter that particular point? I think it does. I think you know it was
05:17 on again, everybody will be an individual when it comes to this particular
05:22 development and people could only really speak on themselves and what they'll do.
05:26 But I think sincerely if you're in tune with yourself, it takes, don't get me
05:31 wrong, it's not easy. It takes a lot of self-restraint but I think you could put
05:35 it in such a way that it won't go across that particular line as opposed to if
05:40 you really have an attraction to somebody. I think it's a little more difficult and
05:44 if somebody asks what are we, I remember somebody once saying that you tell the
05:49 girl that we are the world, you know, we are the children. We are the world. We are the children.
05:54 We are the world. What are we? What kind of question is that? People should know we don't have to ask these questions to define
06:01 relationships. You must know what a friendship is. Now women need to ask that question to define
06:05 relationships because if left up to men, we will just go, we will ride our bus
06:09 until the end, until we'll never actually give them a point. But to bring it back
06:13 to if women could have male friends, right? The reality is that, I say yes
06:19 simply because women get inundated with men all day and they get to
06:25 choose who they decide they want to get with, right? So it really boils down to
06:31 if it is a man is okay with himself of her having options or options so close
06:37 within her sphere. That's literally what we're talking about here. I say yes. I say
06:42 it's not a problem. I want to bring it back to the original
06:46 question, right? I'm putting more clarity on the question. Can women have guy friends? But it is
06:54 not necessarily that the woman themselves or the woman herself may be
07:02 attracted to the man. But the man, so in other words, let's flip it.
07:06 A man is just there in the wings and at this point he might even
07:12 realize, but if the opportunity was there, you know, she says, "No, come."
07:16 Then that is not a friend. Nobody's a friend. If the man wants to jam you, he's not your friend.
07:24 I do understand that. I can accept that answer. Yeah, you answer. I feel we got a shift from that.
07:29 What is a friend then? Let us define friend. Then you're maybe a lover in wait. You're waiting for an
07:35 opportunity, but then it's not a friend because friend, unless they're together, is platonic.
07:41 Me and my wife could be friends and we together, right? But if she
07:47 has somebody who is a male friend who is looking for the opportunity to jam, then that is not her friend.
07:53 Jay, talk to him.
07:55 He's waiting for her edge.
07:57 [Screaming]
07:59 This man here is living in a utopian world.
08:02 Nah.
08:04 Look at it from the realm again. I go back to my original point of intimacy. Intimacy changes everything.
08:09 Now, intimacy is not only sex.
08:11 Well, I'm talking sex.
08:13 So, let me use it with sex.
08:15 Okay, sex then. It ends up going down that particular road. That is where feelings get involved and the dynamics change.
08:21 Up until that point, it's a friendship.
08:23 Correct.
08:25 But you could be friends. Being friends with a woman doesn't necessarily mean you're friends with the boyfriend or the husband or anything else.
08:34 You could still be friends with that person.
08:36 But you want to jam?
08:38 But you're not necessarily going in there saying you want to jam.
08:40 Men are opportunistic.
08:42 We had other conversations where we talked about polyamorous relationships and people.
08:48 But I think the key is also, the key is knowing your partner.
08:52 And if I'm dealing with somebody and that's my girl, that's your wife, you will know what she might be attracted to, who she owns.
09:02 And if the man kind of, you know, that is why men are digging holes with other men.
09:06 Because you know personally that this man actually might capture the eyes and attention of a woman.
09:12 But if it's a guy totally out of her spectra, you might not dig a hole. You don't feel threatened.
09:18 That's the thing.
09:20 A guy totally out of her spectra.
09:22 So, the woman may not act on it so a woman can have a guy friend.
09:26 But let's face it, the guy himself might be like, "Hey, she's her best. She's out of my league."
09:32 But if an opportunity presented itself, he will never act on it because he will lose that friendship because she is not interested.
09:40 So, it's a one-way friendship. So, she's his friend but he's not her friend.
09:42 But you have this understanding of what, because you want to jam means you're not her friend.
09:46 That is a very, that is a very...
09:48 Yeah, that's the thing. Because if you want to jam, it's not...
09:50 Friends with benefits is not a thing in your world.
09:54 No. That is just a relationship with sex. You're not really friends.
10:00 And/or sometimes, you see that friends with benefits, that's a couple by one or both people because they don't want to come in.
10:06 What they really have is a relationship.
10:08 They're really in a relationship.
10:10 They're really in a relationship.
10:12 But they're coupling out in some way.
10:14 Sometimes, my friend, my close friend that I will look at as, "Yo, I'm not that interested."
10:20 You're not that interested.
10:22 Guys, hold on, hold on.
10:24 Dictionary meaning for your benefit.
10:26 The meaning of friend.
10:28 Very dictionary meaning.
10:30 A person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection.
10:34 Let me read that again.
10:36 Mutual affection.
10:38 A person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection.
10:40 I take your point.
10:42 Typically, one exclusive of sexual or family relations.
10:46 Typically.
10:48 Typically.
10:50 I mean, there's not an exception.
10:52 So, having the exception.
10:54 Mutual affection.
10:56 If she don't want to jam, but he want to jam, then it's not mutual affection.
11:00 Typically, the word is.
11:02 You want me to Google the word typically?
11:04 Alright, alright.
11:06 I'll go in with typically.
11:08 Because there's an exception.
11:10 So, generally, I have female friends.
11:12 And I can tell you, I don't want to jam them.
11:14 Not because they're not attractive.
11:16 But the friendship means way more than anything being skewed in there.
11:20 And of course, I also want to be faithful to my partner.
11:24 But, I wouldn't say that in the past, I didn't have female friends who, you know, that I may have wanted something more.
11:32 Or would have taken the opportunity on a cold night in Tobago.
11:34 So, I don't want to ask now.
11:36 Let's be real.
11:38 Because it's real talk.
11:40 Real talk. That's all we are.
11:42 Plenty of times women will transition into friendship.
11:44 In that early part of the relationship, when you saw this person, you got to know them.
11:48 You wanted to, you know.
11:50 But sometimes you realize the person not your near.
11:52 The energy not there.
11:54 So, you just segue now into a friendship.
11:56 Because it comes like you bowl your ball, and you bowl wide.
11:58 Right. Gutter ball.
12:00 Right. You bowl a ball already early. The ball was wide.
12:02 But you just, because you don't want to make it look like you're Foxcar got the grapes so he's sour.
12:06 You act normal.
12:08 And you end up now developing into a friendship.
12:10 You're in love with this girl already.
12:12 You're in love with this whiz.
12:14 And you're cool.
12:16 But you bowl that ball already.
12:18 And you're not going to bowl the ball again.
12:20 But if she says, cold night in Tobago, what happens?
12:24 Sex.
12:26 Exactly.
12:28 But you're still friends.
12:30 If I bowl the ball and it's wide, I'm good.
12:32 Listen. Thus far, I go in with evidence.
12:34 Right.
12:36 I am okay to change my thoughts.
12:38 But I have not seen that happen.
12:40 Right.
12:42 All men, and this is not in the rule, all men I've spoken to.
12:44 Let me get him in here typically for you answer.
12:46 All women, right,
12:48 that say they have this friendship with somebody,
12:50 eventually,
12:52 and even me observing, eventually,
12:54 something could or does happen
12:56 in that.
12:58 And the only reason it does not happen
13:00 is because maybe it was circumstantial.
13:02 But if you're saying at first,
13:04 I don't want to sleep with this person,
13:06 but if you get the opportunity, you will.
13:08 Right?
13:10 It's not a conscious thing.
13:12 It's not a conscious thing.
13:14 I'm saying that people, in the same way colleagues can develop,
13:16 you could develop a friendship as a result of being a colleague
13:18 over an extended period of time.
13:20 If that friendship and the status of that friendship
13:22 changes, whether it be the person that they may be with,
13:24 you get a divorce,
13:26 or they no longer with that person,
13:28 your circumstances change,
13:30 you may be working on a project,
13:32 you see things that you didn't notice before,
13:34 things develop.
13:36 That person is now my best friend.
13:38 Let me give you a biological perspective of this.
13:40 So,
13:42 when two people
13:44 meet each other for the first time,
13:46 you're always on guard
13:48 because you don't know this person.
13:50 Whether it is male or female,
13:52 you don't know this person, so you're on guard.
13:54 But the more that you see this person,
13:56 the more you interact with this person,
13:58 naturally, your guard goes down.
14:00 Chemistry.
14:02 I believe
14:04 serotonin is the hormone
14:06 that is produced when you're
14:08 around somebody you're comfortable with.
14:10 So the more you're around this person,
14:12 the more comfortable you get.
14:14 And I'm going biological.
14:16 So, you talk about conscious just now,
14:18 so I'm going unconscious now.
14:20 Unconsciously, you guard open.
14:22 You guard open somebody.
14:24 So if it's a male and female,
14:26 you guard open, and that's where the feelings come in sometimes,
14:28 and you don't even know where it comes from.
14:30 Because even though you do follow
14:32 through on something,
14:34 you might say, "Well, how come I'm
14:36 feeling this way about this person?"
14:38 The person might pass and touch you
14:40 by mistake, and you feel a certain...
14:42 "Oh, you're studying. I want to
14:44 talk to this person." And then, "Why do I want to
14:46 talk to him or her?" But what I'm saying is
14:48 it happens unconsciously.
14:50 And let me add a caveat to that quick.
14:52 It's like
14:54 a woman passing every day,
14:56 and a man suiting her,
14:58 and the man... That is not she type.
15:00 It's not on him at all. But every day,
15:02 he's suiting her, "Darling, you're looking at..."
15:04 Every day, every day. Eventually,
15:06 she'll realize he's not dangerous.
15:08 The first time she sees him,
15:10 he might be dangerous. Eventually, eventually.
15:12 So let me say it happened for a month straight.
15:14 After a while, when she passed by him,
15:16 one day he's not there, and he didn't suit.
15:18 She will miss him.
15:20 Maybe not even consciously.
15:22 It's unconsciously something that happens.
15:24 An attraction, part of that too,
15:26 is unconscious. So therefore, if you're
15:28 sleeping with somebody, which is your friend,
15:30 if he's your friend, so your colleague,
15:32 you're seeing them every day. You're not consciously,
15:34 "I don't want to sleep with this person."
15:36 You're seeing them every day. Eventually,
15:38 that occurs.
15:40 - A cold night.
15:42 - I hate to break the momentum.
15:44 I hate to break the momentum,
15:46 but we're certainly coming back and continue
15:48 with that biology and that science.
15:50 Because there's a lot,
15:52 there's more than a pestle with regards to that.
15:54 And we're going to turn it on its head now.
15:56 Because we keep saying, "Can women have
15:58 guy friends?" But the truth is,
16:00 if women could have
16:02 guy friends, or we're saying according to Steve Harvey,
16:04 no, they can't. Right? The question
16:06 is then, is it then that
16:08 your male partner, women,
16:10 can then have
16:12 a girlfriend?
16:14 Because then can males have-- - You say female friend.
16:16 - Can they have a female friend?
16:18 So it turns into what I said. So guys, be very,
16:20 very careful with what you're really saying
16:22 or accepting. But we take a short break.
16:24 [music]
16:26 [music]
16:28 [music]
16:30 [music]
16:32 [music]
16:34 [music]
16:36 - So I'd really like to thank you for staying
16:38 with us and to thank our sponsors,
16:40 Jamison and Race Track.
16:42 A really snazzy set.
16:44 Everyone who comes on the set says they feel
16:46 a sense of testosterone
16:48 being on this set. And part of that
16:50 testosterone is not necessarily what it takes
16:52 to be a man. I mean, it's part of the
16:54 biology, as my friend here
16:56 was discussing just before the break.
16:58 But it's all
17:00 about standards and morals.
17:02 And
17:04 speaking of morals, speaking of biology,
17:06 this is where we now turn things on the head.
17:08 Because the opening question, the opening
17:10 salvo was all about
17:12 can women have guy friends?
17:14 But if we're saying, and I've
17:16 looked at quite a few podcasts, if
17:18 men across
17:20 the globe are saying no women
17:22 can't have guy friends, then
17:24 it means that all friends are
17:26 supposed to be female, female, male,
17:28 male. Because if I'm saying
17:30 to my partner,
17:32 "Oh, you can't have any guy friends because
17:34 I know what guys are thinking,
17:36 what's going on in their head," then
17:38 can she not ask me,
17:40 "So therefore, how come you can have
17:42 girlfriends?" It means that you are, aren't you
17:44 a guy? It means you are thinking
17:46 the same way. So be very
17:48 careful with exactly what you're willing to accept
17:50 or not accept and what your position
17:52 is. And
17:54 this, based on that, I see you
17:58 smiling there like, "Oh my God, people
18:00 are going to be set up now in a particular way."
18:02 But that's the truth. We're not about,
18:04 on this show, we're
18:06 about being real. We're meeting people
18:08 where they're at. We're talking
18:10 real things. And we're
18:12 not about,
18:14 we're not about
18:16 being false or being,
18:18 you know, what is good for the goose must be
18:20 good for the gander. I agree.
18:22 So, with that
18:24 being said... No,
18:26 the answer is no. Men can't have female
18:28 friends either. That is weird.
18:30 This guy. Don't you see how
18:32 unbalanced that is as
18:34 humans? For us to say
18:36 that if I'm in a relationship,
18:38 I can't have any female friends.
18:40 You're not learning any skills.
18:42 I'm not saying don't talk to females.
18:44 We're talking about people confident
18:46 that you could speak with.
18:48 Why confide in somebody besides
18:50 your husband or your wife?
18:52 Because they might have other things that I would
18:54 feel comfortable with. It could be a therapist, but as a professional
18:56 environment. Yeah, but again, let's go back
18:58 down to learning skills.
19:00 Right? As humans, we have
19:02 to be as balanced as
19:04 possible. They might have things,
19:06 they might have... Let's just say I don't have a wife.
19:08 Right? I do have a girlfriend. Am I
19:10 able to have a female friend at that point?
19:12 If you don't have a wife or a girlfriend,
19:14 it could start at a
19:16 friendship, but even
19:18 why you decide to talk to this person.
19:20 Right? It could
19:22 depend on... Okay, if
19:24 you decide I want to talk to this person because
19:26 they're nice to talk to.
19:28 That doesn't necessarily mean it's a friend.
19:30 That could be an associate because you haven't
19:32 shared anything. You're not close or anything like that.
19:34 But as everything grows
19:36 into something more.
19:38 It grows into friendship. So you all haven't slept
19:40 together yet. Right? That's correct.
19:42 At that point, when you
19:44 get that close to the person, you
19:46 will develop feelings.
19:48 I'm struggling. I can develop feelings.
19:50 I am struggling. What is the word feeling
19:52 in this particular situation? I think we need to go back to
19:54 the word friend to help. I know Robert
19:56 gave us the dictionary.
19:58 A lot of us in life, I realize
20:00 is acquaintances we have. The word friend.
20:02 Okay, fine. I could call friends
20:04 probably on one hand
20:06 and it will boil down to people
20:08 from foundation, which will
20:10 be like a cousin or somebody they grew up with,
20:12 somebody that you're really connected with in school,
20:14 and probably let's say from the workplace.
20:16 Most people have, I would say
20:18 three, four, some people one
20:20 friend. Okay, friend. So if we're talking
20:22 about it as real friend. Now
20:24 for me, do I have like a
20:26 real close female
20:28 friend? I could probably say
20:30 one. And again,
20:32 it has no
20:34 sexual energy there. That is just my real sister.
20:36 We could be wherever she could come out
20:38 in wherever I know.
20:40 We're not going through that. I agree.
20:42 If you slip,
20:44 would she slap you for sex?
20:46 No, I don't feel so. No, two of my closest
20:48 friends are female and that, there's nothing
20:50 there. Nothing happening in any circumstance.
20:52 I think when a girl said I call you brother,
20:54 and you said I see a girl as a sister,
20:56 that is when the friendship, I think,
20:58 because those are the words
21:00 women use to describe, you know. Exactly.
21:02 When you are no harm and no threat to them,
21:04 you see. They say, hey,
21:06 I know you are Robert, I know you are Jason,
21:08 my brother. And then you will also
21:10 associate them and you'll say them as sister.
21:12 Because let's be real, nobody looking at the
21:14 sister or the brother. Now we.
21:16 But it's very rare. You probably might get
21:18 one in your lifetime. I can't see
21:20 other females in your life as friends,
21:22 as acquaintances. Okay. They can't be friends.
21:24 Okay, okay. Because let's be real,
21:26 that same cold night in Speyside, when rain
21:28 falling, after three in the morning, all you come back from
21:30 a juvie party is blast.
21:32 I want to bring it back because
21:34 we are talking about the
21:36 definition of friends and acquaintances here.
21:38 But let us, whatever
21:40 we understand by friend,
21:42 friends are friends. You guys are my friends.
21:44 Whether we talk
21:46 every day, whether you know
21:48 what happened with my
21:50 life
21:52 and all the other things like that,
21:54 matters not. The fact is,
21:56 there may be levels of friendship,
21:58 there may be friends that you go to for certain
22:00 things and other ones,
22:02 like you said, could be a day once you're real,
22:04 as we said, we cross over to morel
22:06 brethren, morel sistren.
22:08 But that being said,
22:10 the topic, as we say, I want
22:12 to make it clear. I am one to say
22:14 women can't have guy friends.
22:16 But the woman also needs to
22:18 be cognizant of the fact that don't be
22:20 naive to the fact that
22:22 something could happen and guys
22:24 likewise, women,
22:26 because people naturally, you know
22:28 they say opportunity makes a thief.
22:30 If you, if you, if somebody
22:32 is passing and they're not a painter,
22:34 say for example, or anyone
22:36 is passing and you see
22:38 a thousand US on a table,
22:40 you're not necessarily, you didn't come there to steal,
22:42 but you see that there, you might be
22:44 struggling a bit.
22:46 - I mean, it was insider, yeah.
22:48 - So it's the same way.
22:50 It's the same way with men and women.
22:52 - Right, so exactly, but that
22:54 doesn't mean that they're not
22:56 be friends. So when we talk about,
22:58 let's talk about our own stories here.
23:00 - Alright. - About
23:02 this proverbial
23:04 shoulder to cry on.
23:06 - Well, I have learned through my experience
23:08 that as much as what we're seeing here on
23:10 paper, it makes sense. It's
23:12 very much a good
23:14 working template. In practice
23:16 it don't work out because I have learned
23:18 and I end up losing out in a relationship
23:20 based on me being adamant and
23:22 standing firm and saying,
23:24 "Hey, that is my female friend and I know them before I know you."
23:26 So you have to respect them because
23:28 they're in my life long before I know you and
23:30 she
23:32 didn't give way and I didn't give way and
23:34 eventually she was
23:36 leaving. She won. I'm
23:38 leaving. She give me the, I'm leaving.
23:40 And I stand up there in a kind of bubble
23:42 and I get to realize now
23:44 you have to kind of almost
23:46 put some of them girls on pause.
23:48 Them female friends.
23:50 Be cool with them, but realize you have to
23:52 put them on pause especially if you want
23:54 the relationship. Why are they put them on pause?
23:56 Because the women
23:58 have seen that they're like, they're not
24:00 viable at all. They're going to see that. Could not everybody mature
24:02 and able to have the opposite
24:04 have a female on pause. Is that maturity?
24:06 I would say that.
24:08 You use the word naivety, right?
24:10 When somebody's naive, that means they don't even know
24:12 what's going on now, right?
24:14 So that means they can get catched, right?
24:16 And they don't even know. So going back to the biological
24:18 part of it, right? Sometimes what causes
24:20 naivety is not... Give me a story instead of the biology, you know.
24:22 Alright. A scenario,
24:24 I can relate more to the scenario than the biology.
24:26 I'll give you something
24:28 that's quite personal too, right?
24:30 I grew up hearing
24:32 that certain things about my father
24:34 in terms of him not being
24:36 faithful to my mother and
24:38 you know, in terms of running down
24:40 women and things. And I said
24:42 I am not, I swear
24:44 to myself, I'm not going to be that
24:46 person. So from young
24:48 maybe even 8,
24:50 anywhere between 8 and 10 I remember reading
24:52 psychology books on
24:54 women and how to treat women and things
24:56 like that and understanding the plight of
24:58 women with men, etc. So I
25:00 say, you know what? I'm going to
25:02 treat as many women good
25:04 as possible. And you know what? I'm just
25:06 going to be their friend. I'm not going to go after
25:08 them for nothing. So
25:10 as many women. And then I remember
25:12 I was in Form 2 or
25:14 Form 3 and
25:16 I remember on Valentine's Day
25:18 writing five different poems
25:20 trying to be unique and saying
25:22 wait now, I
25:24 becoming what I didn't want
25:26 to become. But thinking
25:28 all of these girls in my mind were
25:30 my friends but because of spending
25:32 time talking to them, being their shoulder to
25:34 cry on, showing them
25:36 love. And when I say love, platonic
25:38 love. The feelings
25:40 develop whether or not
25:42 I wanted it to. And
25:44 I say, but how I
25:46 came to this point? And then I say maybe
25:48 and I thought maybe something wrong with me.
25:50 But then I started observing it throughout
25:52 the years with other people, male
25:54 and female and realizing if you
25:56 continue along this path, feelings will
25:58 eventually develop. And again, I
26:00 open to change in the tunnel but I haven't had
26:02 any empirical evidence to show
26:04 otherwise. You know in school at those
26:06 times, good guys finish last. I'm just saying
26:08 you know, later on they may want to
26:10 as a whole, that's a whole other
26:12 conversation again. So let
26:14 me go into say that to the
26:16 nation, shoulders are for legs
26:18 not tears. Right? But
26:20 we move on to
26:22 let me give you a story. Right?
26:24 Let me give you a story. So I
26:26 had a friend. Most of my
26:28 friends are actually female.
26:30 Let me do this, right? You had a friend.
26:32 I had a friend. Right?
26:34 Like as in I've
26:36 over 20 years friendship.
26:38 Right? Had past tense.
26:40 Well, we still friends to this day but
26:42 I'm going to give a story now that
26:44 may give some evidence
26:46 of what you're saying to make your point but
26:48 we were friends for over
26:50 20 years. I see her kids
26:52 grew up as in I was always there part
26:54 of her life. Right? And one day
26:56 she was down bad. You know?
26:58 The person that her. Cold night in space.
27:00 A cold night in space. I had
27:02 happened. You know? Baby dad
27:04 wasn't giving me blah blah blah.
27:06 So she asked to borrow
27:08 some meat. You know?
27:10 And I loaned her the meat.
27:12 I loaned her the meat. I said this is a
27:14 I said this is a temporary
27:16 loan.
27:18 You know from that moment there, I was
27:20 really hoping when you said some meat
27:22 I was hoping you meant like a cup of sugar.
27:24 That analogy I didn't realize.
27:26 She asked for a little bit of sausage.
27:28 I lent it
27:30 to her. You obliged. I obliged.
27:32 It made her feel
27:34 better. It made her feel wanted.
27:36 It made her feel like
27:38 it filled her up. She felt like a woman
27:40 again which is what she was
27:42 valuing.
27:44 The day after, we
27:46 went back to how we were
27:48 until the day I feel like
27:50 I need to get my payment back.
27:52 I would like, you know son,
27:54 some salami.
27:56 At some
27:58 point maybe, you know, if ever I feel
28:00 like, you know, hey I don't feel like
28:02 a man right now. I, you know, remember that loan
28:04 that I gave her back in the day.
28:06 I just want to say, Nayshaun, remember we
28:08 spoke about when I said the definition of a friend
28:10 and we spoke about typically.
28:12 So typically, there's always an exception.
28:14 Meet Niall McNish.
28:16 I don't know if that is the exception or not.
28:18 But we're still friends. I think that is the
28:20 rule, not the exception.
28:22 But we're still cool. Like think about it.
28:24 No, only cool, right? Right.
28:26 But we're not friends. But wait, I find that I was
28:28 even more of a friend than anybody. I did
28:30 what most friends want.
28:32 I was there for her
28:34 inside and out. When you really
28:36 think about it, think about it. I
28:38 gave her what she needed.
28:40 Niall, that is not
28:42 a friend. That is something a little
28:44 more than a friend. Maybe less than a husband
28:46 or a boyfriend, right? And I
28:48 don't want to get too semantic.
28:50 But that's not a friend. You all
28:52 are not friends.
28:54 I don't know how. Because then we were going
28:56 before we said friends with benefits. We come back
28:58 because you all are friends but they are
29:00 those benefits. Then you all are not
29:02 friends. Well, I think what's important...
29:04 Based on your definition. I think what's important
29:06 and what I get to understand in the journey,
29:08 if you
29:10 meet someone and you are like
29:12 so you meet a girl and you and the girl develop
29:14 in a vibe and you know, you're seeing potential
29:16 here. I think it's important to kind of
29:18 introduce her to your friends and let her
29:20 see from the onset,
29:22 this is your circle. And if they are
29:24 female person in the mix, let her know
29:26 this is my sister in from long time. Right. And see
29:28 how that dynamic work out. Because sometimes
29:30 fun enough, your girl and your female
29:32 friend does end up real close, you know
29:34 like as in, they like
29:36 sisters and then sometimes the chemistry off
29:38 they should do like her thing and in that
29:40 moment you have to make a decision. And most
29:42 times you go with where you're getting the warmth
29:44 when the night come. Which is with your woman.
29:46 I guess, yes. And sometimes friendships
29:48 have to kind of follow up. Which I find real
29:50 sad because again, these are people in your life
29:52 for years before you meet this particular person.
29:54 But it's again as a man, how
29:56 serious you want
29:58 that relationship to establish itself
30:00 because love again and relationship
30:02 is a choice. And if you make a
30:04 choice that in my mind as I
30:06 learn the game now,
30:08 if I make a choice that this is what I want
30:10 sometimes them thing are the kind of
30:12 you got a kind of ease of especially if it's a female
30:14 dynamic. Because woman is feel threatened
30:16 too with the vibe.
30:18 So it comes to that moment again.
30:20 You know
30:22 and on this show we always
30:24 pride ourselves to say that even though
30:26 there's equal opinion, the
30:28 opinion is never
30:30 just
30:32 on based on what that person
30:34 is. So I don't want us to be walking away thinking
30:36 this person thinks this or this person
30:38 thinks that. It's a conversation that's
30:40 happening. And even
30:42 though it might be four persons, the
30:44 irony is even though it seems like three
30:46 have one side of an opinion
30:48 to a fourth,
30:50 it still comes down to it's an equal
30:52 viewpoint because it's a conversation.
30:54 We're taking a short break
30:56 and
30:58 during that break I wish you guys
31:00 could hear some of the behind
31:02 the scenes.
31:04 [Music]
31:06 [Music]
31:08 [Music]
31:10 [Music]
31:12 [Music]
31:14 [Music]
31:16 Conversation. The conversation
31:18 is about can
31:20 women have guy friends? Can men
31:22 have women friends?
31:24 The definition came about
31:26 what is a friend? What is an
31:28 acquaintance? Can you
31:30 as some may say, can
31:32 you have a friend jam
31:34 and go back to being that
31:36 friend? There's so much conversation happening
31:38 here and again I'd really love
31:40 if some of you at
31:42 some point will be open to seeing some
31:44 of the behind the scenes conversations and the
31:46 conversations that lead to eventually what we then
31:48 call the dialogue when the cameras
31:50 come back on.
31:52 So mixed
31:54 feelings, mixed emotions, a lot
31:56 of yeses, a lot of nos,
31:58 still some very vague areas.
32:00 I'm not sure I've transitioned to any
32:02 particular side as yet. I'm still
32:04 of the opinion
32:06 yes, a man can have
32:08 a female friend and yes, a female
32:10 can have a guy friend
32:12 and even though in certain
32:14 cases things may materialize
32:16 and become something else,
32:18 I don't think that that takes away from
32:20 the fact that they were friends
32:22 or could be friends initially,
32:24 circumstances, human nature,
32:26 biology, all of
32:28 these other things
32:30 come into play and I want to say
32:32 to you, if you had a friend
32:34 whether you call it a friend, acquaintance,
32:36 colleague, whatever tickles
32:38 your pickle, you answer, right?
32:40 For a particular definition
32:42 and you're in a
32:44 let's go really
32:46 out there.
32:48 You're in a cave,
32:50 you're going on a hike, and don't tell me
32:52 that you should not go on a hike in the first place
32:54 with a woman, right? We play it out here.
32:56 You're in a cave,
32:58 cave caves in, and you're
33:00 there for, you see it
33:02 in the movies, you end up having to go and
33:04 hunt together, be together,
33:06 all of these different things happen, you live, right?
33:08 So in
33:10 over a period of time, you want to tell
33:12 me, Blue Lagoon for those of you who
33:14 are old enough to know. Big movie, big movie.
33:16 Something wouldn't happen, something wouldn't transpire.
33:18 Yes, and that's what I'm saying.
33:20 So at that point it's not your friend anymore,
33:22 you know, because you can't, you clearly can't.
33:24 Yeah, if something happens, that's not your friend.
33:26 So what changes?
33:28 Neshun, what changes?
33:30 Alright, so
33:32 I was being a bit hard on first, right?
33:34 For a reason. Correct, I felt so. For a reason, right?
33:36 Now, we're
33:38 using these terms, friends,
33:40 associates, and
33:42 transitioning to friendship, colleagues, etc.
33:44 Some of it could be semantics,
33:46 because human behavior is a
33:48 dynamic thing in general.
33:50 And I will go back to even what we started
33:52 with the pillar with manhood about being true to
33:54 yourself. As a man, you have to be honest
33:56 with yourself, right? You know
33:58 the type of feelings you have for
34:00 a female. Whether it is you're developing a
34:02 new relationship, old relationship,
34:04 however long it is, friends, etc.
34:06 So you have to know exactly how you feel.
34:08 Now, you can't account for the other
34:10 person's feelings, right? But you're accounting
34:12 for yourself. You would know
34:14 if you're talking to this person a little too
34:16 much. If you start to feel a certain
34:18 way, right? Now,
34:20 even if you'll never cross the platonic
34:22 lines, physically,
34:24 you know how you're feeling. You know
34:26 sometimes if you're in an intimate moment
34:28 with somebody else, you might be thinking about
34:30 that person. You know exactly
34:32 what is going on. And I'm going with that honesty
34:34 part because sometimes we say, "Well, nah,
34:36 nothing ever happened between us. I would never
34:38 think with her. She never come my way." But you
34:40 know. That is the dialogue. You know in your
34:42 heart, you know in your
34:44 heart that you would do something.
34:46 You know in your heart that this person
34:48 like you but she married,
34:50 you married, but if
34:52 you were married, you know when
34:54 something more than
34:56 platonic. Or you might have been friends before
34:58 and you simply, as Jay mentioned, you simply
35:00 don't want to lose that friend. You want
35:02 your cake and you want to eat it.
35:04 So,
35:06 you know, and not only going from a sexual
35:08 or physical point of view, even, let's go
35:10 to the emotional point. You have a wife,
35:12 you have a girlfriend, right?
35:14 To me, that's supposed to be the
35:16 person that you have most of
35:18 your emotional space with. They share the most.
35:20 So if you start to feel like, "Well, you know,
35:22 I really, something happened but I really
35:24 want to run to talk to Suzie
35:26 instead of your wife or Suzie instead of
35:28 your girlfriend. No, nothing to anybody named
35:30 Suzie, right?" You know
35:32 that something wrong and
35:34 you should be pulling back. And I'm just
35:36 going with that honesty part because human
35:38 behavior can't predict everything,
35:40 right? It has no hard and fast exactly
35:42 what is a friend, my definition,
35:44 your definition, the Saudi, North, the West
35:46 definition. But to be honest with yourself,
35:48 you know, you know when
35:50 that line cross. And most of the times
35:52 because there's naivety, there's
35:54 biology. But you know when you cross in that
35:56 line most of the times. Let me ask another question.
35:58 So what about a man
36:00 who's bisexual? He's with
36:02 his wife but all
36:04 of a sudden he starts to think about
36:06 he's bredren while he's stroking
36:08 his girl. You understand?
36:10 Is he not to have male friends
36:12 now? Friends just lock off at that point.
36:14 He's just supposed to be by himself?
36:16 So that it just goes, the only reason why
36:18 I ask that question is to show that
36:20 it... Well, he's not to have that male
36:22 friend. If you're thinking about
36:24 stroking, you know, with that person
36:26 with them... No, no,
36:28 no, no. So then you're
36:30 making my point. So in other words,
36:32 let us stop generalizing
36:34 that I can't have women
36:36 friends. Correct. Let us
36:38 say I can't have that
36:40 woman friend as
36:42 part of my life because I have
36:44 a certain type of feeling towards this woman.
36:46 So I need to be mature
36:48 within myself
36:50 and know maybe this is not the person
36:52 I should expose myself and my
36:54 relationship to based on
36:56 my understanding of my needs and my
36:58 girlfriend's needs. Here's what I get to realize,
37:00 I'm all in on that. Go ahead. I get to realize
37:02 within my observation again, within the life
37:04 and within my journey,
37:06 if marriage is the pinnacle,
37:08 look at even...
37:10 Look at scenarios where
37:12 even as a brethren, so
37:14 now that's my brethren, we're ruling
37:16 them a real partner.
37:18 Now I'll get come and get married now.
37:20 Our friendship actually will take a little knock, you know?
37:22 Even our male friendship as in
37:24 I can call you up and say, "Hey, son of a fudge."
37:26 We can, I can call you up and say, "My arrow."
37:28 You know, kind of have to get past
37:30 what's time for you to say, kind of say that as a joke
37:32 meaning, well,
37:34 it's not like you're going to get permission, but it's just
37:36 you don't want to rock that boat
37:38 so early. So I realize that
37:40 even friendship and friend,
37:42 the dynamic you feel and you have with
37:44 your male brethren is going to get knocked
37:46 worse at your female friends.
37:48 So in essence, I think ultimately
37:50 once you go to that particular place, it come
37:52 like, "Hey, how's your friend?" Come like,
37:54 "Not so loco for your friends, because
37:56 you need them still. You still need your circle."
37:58 But the dependence and I guess
38:00 the whole connection will be
38:02 as much compared
38:04 to when you're free, single, and disengaged.
38:06 So that's just my observation.
38:08 I've been very pensive
38:10 in, um,
38:12 you know, I love it when you have
38:14 pause, when you have pause for thought.
38:16 You know, I came in here with a particular
38:18 thought and
38:20 you know, even though I may still
38:22 side with a particular
38:26 about a particular opinion
38:28 or how I definitely want to present myself.
38:30 You guys have certainly
38:32 give me a lot of pause and I'm sure
38:34 to all our viewers
38:36 and listeners out there. You know, I just want to throw
38:38 in maybe a, um, you know, and
38:40 as you quite rightly mentioned, we
38:42 sort of broad brush this thing to male, female,
38:44 you know, heterosexual relationships,
38:46 but what happens to
38:48 gay relationships and bisexuals?
38:50 Um, I think lots of women,
38:52 men don't mind if the, um,
38:54 girl, actually men, some men
38:56 very cool with the woman having a
38:58 gay brethren because they don't
39:00 threaten. Correct. Because they know the man
39:02 not on her in that way. Yeah.
39:04 The big drawing, the...
39:06 Not in my experience, but that could be a different conversation.
39:08 But I could tell you, I have some...
39:10 But I could tell you some stories.
39:12 I mean, I won't call any names now of people
39:14 who started off having, you know,
39:16 male gay friends and the male gay friend
39:18 became that shoulder, legs up
39:20 on the shoulder. So...
39:22 Oh, that man was walking on the street.
39:24 I'm just saying, you know.
39:26 And that's been our point.
39:28 I want to say...
39:30 He's a well-fed sheep, you know that?
39:32 And then he's...
39:34 Hey, hey, hey.
39:36 Nah, man.
39:38 I want to throw in another scenario
39:40 before we close,
39:42 before we close here today to say that
39:44 I am 6'3",
39:46 bald red man,
39:48 and
39:50 I can say that I have lost
39:52 all the...
39:54 My female friends, there have been instances
39:56 where people really close to me,
39:58 the dynamic has changed
40:00 purely because, like you said, they're
40:02 in relationships or just generally
40:04 with the advent of social media
40:06 and people just talking and the negativities
40:08 and people just saying certain things that they don't know
40:10 about. The assumption is
40:12 he's a player. He must be...
40:14 If that woman with him, something must
40:16 be happening. Or I saw them out
40:18 having lunch. Or I saw
40:20 they went to dinner with their friends.
40:22 Watch yourself there, you know. And that
40:24 play on that can also be feeding
40:26 in to these things. Because I can tell you
40:28 the two women who I have had
40:30 in terms of
40:32 being...
40:34 to create distance as a
40:36 result of what's been fed,
40:38 naturally, you know, optics.
40:40 Perception is fact. So the husbands
40:42 or boyfriends, not that they believe
40:44 anything has happened, but because
40:46 of the optics of it, they've asked
40:48 to be pulled away or they question
40:50 or anything that happens there.
40:52 And for me, it's been a very sad
40:54 period because I'm like, I know
40:56 with everything in me,
40:58 absolutely nothing
41:00 is happening or will happen
41:02 because the nature of that friendship
41:04 is on a spiritual basis.
41:06 It's on guidance. It's on so many
41:08 other things of sharing. Things that I
41:10 know you believe you should be doing with your wife,
41:12 but you have horses for courses
41:14 and you have friends for different things
41:16 in certain areas. And the person
41:18 I'm with might be someone who can spiritually
41:20 guide me. Hence, you
41:22 have godfathers and godmothers, etc.
41:24 And they may be the person you turn to
41:26 for another
41:28 point of view. Another perspective, yes.
41:30 Another perspective. But as a result
41:32 of
41:34 look or attraction or the perception
41:36 of they must be banging, they must be
41:38 doing something, you've lost that person.
41:40 So there are instances, and I'm stating
41:42 my position as part
41:44 of my closing.
41:46 Women can have guy friends
41:48 and guys can have women friends
41:50 and whether, you know, bisexual
41:52 can have male and female friends.
41:54 But you have, it comes down to one thing.
41:56 As we talk about on manhood,
41:58 about morals,
42:00 and you knowing that this
42:02 friendship is based on
42:04 friendship, and you
42:06 know to yourself you're not attracted
42:08 to that person in any way, form
42:10 or fashion apart from
42:12 what that friendship brings
42:14 and even more so
42:16 in that particular scenario being cognizant
42:18 of the environment.
42:20 So don't go in a corner. Don't go
42:22 and say, "I'm going to party with my friends."
42:24 Because she dress up nice and you're taken out
42:26 and the wife is staying home with the kids
42:28 so you're going out with your girl, you know,
42:30 your hot friends
42:32 and you're partying and whining
42:34 and all these other things. Smart, no?
42:36 - Interesting.
42:40 Interesting nuance.
42:42 - Hmm.
42:44 This is your closing, no?
42:46 - I know that, eh?
42:48 - Make it count.
42:50 - What I would say is, to be honest,
42:52 what I was saying a little bit before,
42:54 whether, however you define
42:56 a friend or you define an associate
42:58 or you define a colleague,
43:00 is to be honest about how you feel
43:02 about somebody and what you
43:04 were saying about the optics of things.
43:06 I agree
43:08 with showing the very appearance of evil.
43:10 Right? Whether or not
43:12 you read the Bible or not showing the very
43:14 appearance of evil,
43:16 also
43:18 the moral, the morality part
43:20 of it because as human,
43:22 we won't only be attracted
43:24 to one person. Right?
43:26 You would feel, whether you're in a
43:28 50-year marriage or not, you would
43:30 feel attraction to someone else.
43:32 To be honest about that in terms of
43:34 how you want to develop a certain
43:36 relationship, whether you want to call it
43:38 a friendship, whether you want to call it an
43:40 associate, etc.,
43:42 be honest about that.
43:44 Also, you would know,
43:46 you would be able to even feel,
43:48 whether it is from that person or even
43:50 from yourself, when something
43:52 going to the realm of,
43:54 for want of a better word,
43:56 inappropriate. For want of a better word,
43:58 you're becoming so that close to somebody
44:00 that it's taken away from the
44:02 emotional, I'm not even going to the physical part of it
44:04 because to me, once you
44:06 have sex with somebody, you cross the
44:08 platonic lines. But even now, the
44:10 emotional part of it, you have a friend
44:12 of the opposite sex, you
44:14 start, you're sharing so much that
44:16 sometimes you forget to
44:18 tell your wife or you forget to tell your husband
44:20 certain things or you tell that person first
44:22 before you tell your wife or your husband.
44:24 I do believe that's right.
44:26 So it's being honest about it, in terms of
44:28 yourself, however you define it, and
44:30 stick to whatever is your moral
44:32 moral and
44:34 moral values. I mean, I went
44:36 down that road already in the sense that
44:38 Agil had me there as a friend,
44:40 all the emotional sharing, and
44:42 I just, then I get invested
44:44 in that. I was much younger at the time, I was a
44:46 NATO man at the time, there was no action
44:48 transport only.
44:50 I was a full NATO man.
44:52 Just take and drop, yeah, take and
44:54 drop, and she just is sharing and I get
44:56 involved and I feel so much
44:58 in the mix and she was not
45:00 me and I feel her way and I
45:02 realize that
45:04 it can't work. However,
45:06 it's an individual
45:08 kind of scenario, and I think if you have
45:10 somebody who, understanding
45:12 somebody who
45:14 both of you all share a particular
45:16 ethos and chemistry and
45:18 communication open and honest,
45:20 you could be accommodating to
45:22 her male friends, she could be accommodating
45:24 to your female friends, but naturally as
45:26 the relationship, I think, get deeper and
45:28 grow into a realm of again that benchmark
45:30 as I mentioned, which might be marriage,
45:32 naturally things just
45:34 kind of fall off,
45:36 for some reason. It's not because
45:38 anybody fall out, you know. People, I think,
45:40 just understand that, you know what, this is a
45:42 whole different life, there's a
45:44 decision to make to build this life
45:46 with somebody, so I might just pull back.
45:48 I'll pull back a little bit
45:50 and
45:52 probably, you know, it could
45:54 work for some, it can't work for others, but
45:56 I think ultimately
45:58 it's based on individual
46:00 and that level of communication and how
46:02 open you are and if the person willing to accept
46:04 it. If not, I think you have to,
46:06 me, I learn now to
46:08 kind of peg back,
46:10 turn it on and say, you know what, if this is what
46:12 I want and I want our relationship
46:14 as man and woman to work out,
46:16 I'll have to kind of put that on the back burner
46:18 for the sake of peace
46:20 because I value peace
46:22 more than anything else. I want peace.
46:24 I don't want, you see me here,
46:26 I don't want that in my ears when I come home.
46:28 I don't want that.
46:30 No,
46:32 we're not on that, we're not.
46:34 Let me add to that, right.
46:38 First of all,
46:40 as your wife, let's just go with wife
46:42 being the highest definition,
46:44 that's supposed to be your best friend.
46:46 That's supposed to be your paramount
46:48 person. In fact, I wouldn't even say your best friend,
46:50 that's supposed to be a reflection of yourself.
46:52 So in other words, we are one,
46:54 right, and I feel as together
46:56 us being one,
46:58 we could decide
47:00 who
47:02 that each other have as
47:04 individuals in each other's
47:06 life because again, my wife
47:08 and I are a
47:10 unit so I may
47:12 with my wife's permission
47:14 have someone outside
47:16 of our relationship where I could
47:18 communicate and blah blah blah blah blah.
47:20 It could be someone that I came
47:22 into the relationship with but if this is the person
47:24 that I'm choosing, she has to
47:26 be okay with the fact
47:28 that this person is
47:30 my friend, right, that I
47:32 claim my friend, right.
47:34 Even if I loaned her some meat
47:36 many many years ago, right.
47:38 Right, so I feel
47:40 that and of course my wife would be the one
47:42 who I would be saying these things to.
47:44 Hey, a cold night
47:46 in Speyside, I'll loan her some meat.
47:48 You understand? This is the
47:50 situation, however, I watch
47:52 her kids grow up, come and meet her, meet
47:54 her kids and she's supposed to be able
47:56 at least this is the person who I intend to marry
47:58 to understand
48:00 and grow with me and the rest of my
48:02 friends and vice versa. I want to meet her friends
48:04 whether it be female or male
48:06 and I
48:08 who may have loaned her some meat in the
48:10 past as well and I'm okay with
48:12 that because at the end of the
48:14 day, what I'm doing is that I
48:16 am
48:18 trusting her morals, her decision
48:20 making, her background
48:22 and if it is that, okay
48:24 this is the person that I'm choosing,
48:26 I understand,
48:28 she feels comfortable explaining and
48:30 giving me all her
48:32 history, her facts,
48:34 right, so to speak. Then I'll be like,
48:36 cool, let's do this. You know
48:38 what's going on and that's that. That's mature bro,
48:40 that's a big man thing there.
48:42 Take man with a big, big shoulder
48:44 and big heart to be like that
48:46 because
48:48 that man has the gut as a woman
48:50 too.
48:52 So,
48:54 this conversation guys, thank you so much for
48:56 once again sharing. These conversations,
48:58 you know, the
49:00 show may end but the conversation
49:02 always continues and it's
49:04 something that we'll continue to converse
49:06 about in Manhood, continue to be
49:08 open to express, to share
49:10 opinions for the purposes
49:12 of the show. It's not necessarily our position
49:14 but it's for the purposes of discussion
49:16 on the show here at Manhood
49:18 to reach the audience
49:20 and to meet you where you're at
49:22 and to hopefully touch on some topics
49:24 or thoughts that might be going through
49:26 your head.
49:28 The
49:30 closing takeaway would be honesty is
49:32 the best policy. Morals is
49:34 what we're about and that honesty
49:36 can come from, you know where you
49:38 stand, you know where your feelings are growing
49:40 or growing to. Honesty within
49:42 your relationship and not about the
49:44 fact whether it's your wife,
49:46 you don't have to naturally be married, it's whether
49:48 you're in a relationship and that commitment
49:50 is based on a specific
49:52 understanding and what that understanding
49:54 is, is where your honesty then comes in
49:56 to be able to divulge and for you to be
49:58 honest even with that particular person.
50:00 So, God
50:02 is the boss, everybody else is just pretending.
50:04 [Laughter]
50:06 I'd like
50:08 to thank our sponsors, Jameson
50:10 and Racetrack. Really,
50:12 really thank you gents. Johansi,
50:14 Jay, Nile,
50:16 always a pleasure.
50:18 Do women,
50:20 can women have guy friends?
50:22 Can men have guy friends?
50:24 Can men have women friends?
50:26 Can women have female friends?
50:28 Friends are friends.
50:30 Honesty is the best policy. Thank you.
50:32 [Music]
50:42 Manhood, brought to you by
50:44 Jameson, natural sources
50:46 since 1922 and Racetrack.