Granger Smith Opens Up About Abusing Substances After His Son Drowned
Granger Smith Opens Up About Abusing Substances After His Son Drowned
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00:00 ♪ It happens like that ♪
00:03 ♪ Out of the blue in the sky ♪
00:04 You're a country music artist.
00:06 Yeah, I live in the dream.
00:07 In a matter of moments, things shifted.
00:09 You blamed yourself for the loss of your son, River.
00:12 He died from a tragic accidental drowning in your home pool.
00:17 (upbeat music)
00:20 I was there.
00:21 I still feel guilty.
00:23 It was 2019.
00:27 Granger Smith's three-year-old son, River,
00:29 was having a water gun fight with his siblings,
00:31 got past the safety gate,
00:32 and seconds later, accidentally drowned in the family pool.
00:36 I would wake up in the middle of the night many times,
00:38 and I would wake up and I would go,
00:40 I lost my son.
00:43 The country singer recounts the tragedy
00:45 in his new book, "Like a River," which is out now,
00:48 and shares how he turned to substance abuse
00:50 trying to cope with the loss,
00:52 which played like a slideshow in his mind.
00:55 Just random images of River, of losing him,
00:59 and whether he's face down in the pool,
01:01 or I'm holding him, or we're going to the hospital,
01:04 or the doctor's saying we're gonna lose him.
01:06 In the book you write, you turn to self-help books.
01:08 You turn to even weed.
01:11 Yeah.
01:12 You were vaping quite frequently.
01:13 Alcohol, yeah, whatever.
01:14 You would resort to weed to help you go to sleep at night.
01:17 I would do it before bed to maybe not have nightmares.
01:21 To just numb the pain. It felt good.
01:22 It felt good.
01:23 And so then I thought, well, I might as well
01:25 just go ahead and have it in the morning, too.
01:27 Then it got, well, I might as well just make sure
01:30 around lunchtime.
01:31 And then I thought, if I don't have it, I'm in trouble,
01:34 and the slideshow's gonna overtake me.
01:36 I tried everything I could to make things better,
01:40 to get well on my own, to keep my family moving forward.
01:44 One night in particular, things got a little far.
01:46 You got drunk, and you had a nine millimeter
01:51 in your hand, and you held it up to your head.
01:53 How close did you get that evening,
01:55 and what ultimately saved your life?
01:58 That night on Wildflower, in that back bedroom,
02:03 that was as rock bottom as it got.
02:06 The weed wasn't working anymore, and alcohol couldn't numb it.
02:09 Maybe the only answer is to end it all,
02:11 because maybe that's where the peace is.
02:13 Maybe you could finally rest in that.
02:16 What do you think pulled you out of that moment?
02:19 I had one thought, and it was Lincoln and London.
02:23 My two kids at home.
02:25 That was the first thought that hit me, I thought.
02:28 I just saw their faces.
02:29 And then I said, "Jesus, help me."
02:35 For the first time, the slideshow stopped,
02:38 and I slid the gun out of my hand, and hit the bed,
02:42 and I fell down on the floor, and I was crying,
02:45 and I was horrified at my shame, and my guilt,
02:50 and the weakness I was, and the lack of strength that I had,
02:55 the weak man that I was, it all hit me at once.
02:59 And that was the beginning.
03:01 This summer is my last ever tour.
03:05 The beginning of healing, but not forgetting.
03:08 Granger announced he's leaving country music.
03:11 His final concert is August 26th,
03:13 in his home state of Texas,
03:14 and then the 43-year-old is pursuing ministry.
03:19 This season, my life will be actually being with my family,
03:23 and going to our little local church,
03:24 and learning under our pastor, and going to seminary,
03:28 and getting out and speaking occasionally,
03:30 and talking about this book,
03:32 and telling people about my darkest night,
03:34 and how I was saved from that.
03:36 (upbeat music)
03:38 Giving up music also means more time with his family,
03:44 which got a little bigger in 2021.
03:47 Just over two years after the Smiths lost River,
03:50 they welcomed Maverick Beckham,
03:52 who turns two later this month.
03:54 The special meaning behind his name.
03:56 What lies in his name?
03:57 Yeah, Beckham, his middle name means home by the river,
04:00 and then Maverick has the three letters R-I-V.
04:04 For River. For his big brother.
04:06 I love that.
04:06 How do you hope to celebrate and remember
04:10 your precious son, River, as the years go on?
04:13 (sighs)
04:15 It's gonna be hard to imagine ever
04:17 forgetting that little redheaded boy.
04:19 Maverick doesn't know him, he never knew him.
04:21 He never met him.
04:25 But he is the closest human being
04:28 that there ever was to River.
04:30 He looks like him, talks like him.
04:32 He likes the same things.
04:33 He, Maverick, will continue to carry on that legacy.
04:37 (upbeat music)
04:40 [Music]
04:42 [BLANK_AUDIO]