Manhood - Episode 14
Manhood - Episode 14
Transcript
00:00:00 Manhood, brought to you by Jameson, natural sources since 1922 and Racetrack.
00:00:13 Thank you once again for joining us on Manhood.
00:00:15 It's a conversation like no other.
00:00:18 And the idea is always to reach everyone where they're at.
00:00:22 And we always say we are a few men trying to reach all men, but we're not speaking on
00:00:32 behalf of all men.
00:00:34 And you'd think 10, 12 conversations in, I would have got that by now.
00:00:39 But we really are trying to speak on all topics.
00:00:44 And the conversation never really ends.
00:00:46 The episodes may end, manhood may end at some point, but the conversation will always continue.
00:00:52 I'm delighted to have once again on the panel, resident behavior change consultant, Johansi
00:00:59 Ayodike, always a pleasure.
00:01:01 Thank you.
00:01:02 A friend, Siobhan Métivier, artist, actor.
00:01:08 I wouldn't know singer comes into there, but maybe, you know, trial and error.
00:01:12 Not professionally.
00:01:13 Voice over, radio personality.
00:01:16 And Jovelle Junior Lee Limo, comedian, actor, host, radio personality.
00:01:27 The list goes on and on.
00:01:29 So we feel like it was a bit longer next time.
00:01:33 I mean, it wasn't it wasn't in your rider.
00:01:35 It wasn't your rider.
00:01:36 All the things I had to say.
00:01:37 So next time.
00:01:39 So the conversation here today is certainly going to be a very energetic one, a very lively
00:01:45 one.
00:01:46 So I'm really looking forward to it.
00:01:47 But at the end, we're trying to meet everyone where they're at.
00:01:50 And the conversation, the topic is still a very serious one.
00:01:53 And the topic today is, can women and men handle the truth?
00:01:58 Can we actually handle the truth?
00:02:01 And some of the topics that we're hoping to cover are feelings, sexual performance, compromise,
00:02:09 among others.
00:02:10 And there was one other big one inside of there.
00:02:13 And I'm trying to buy some time to remember it.
00:02:16 But while we're doing that, let's get into it.
00:02:20 Let's get into it.
00:02:21 So can men or women really, really handle the truth?
00:02:27 And let's start off with feelings.
00:02:29 You know, like if you really see how you feel about a particular situation or how you're
00:02:34 not feeling about a particular situation, because you may start one way and things die
00:02:41 off.
00:02:42 But let me throw something out first.
00:02:44 I think that men could handle the truth more than women.
00:02:49 Let me tell you why.
00:02:52 Because how we men mostly have to navigate the world is based on truth.
00:02:58 So if you have no money, you have to face reality.
00:03:00 If you have no job, you have to face reality.
00:03:01 If you want certain things, you know you have certain qualifications, things to face, et
00:03:06 cetera, et cetera.
00:03:07 If you are a woman of a certain caliber, you know you have to come good with certain things.
00:03:10 You have to face the truth.
00:03:12 But in some of my experiences with women, women tend to more want to live in a fantasy
00:03:18 world.
00:03:19 They want things the way they want it, even if it's not really like that.
00:03:24 So if I, do I look good in this?
00:03:28 You really want the person to say yes.
00:03:31 But the truth may be you're not looking good in that.
00:03:33 So if you say, so the woman won't know what she wants the response to be.
00:03:37 So if I say, nah, you're looking good.
00:03:39 What?
00:03:40 I looking good?
00:03:41 I don't like that.
00:03:42 I say, but you ask me the truth.
00:03:44 So I'll open it with that.
00:03:47 So just based on that, it always reminds me, and I'm really sorry to everyone who's listening
00:03:53 and viewing, that when we talk about people handling reality, that I'm not sure I buy
00:04:00 into the whole that men can handle the truth more than women, because I know the instances
00:04:05 myself where the truth hurts, but there was one meme that I saw that actually said, the
00:04:16 woman said, can you just tell me exactly what you think for this entire day?
00:04:20 And they went to Gault, and she put on a dress, and she said, do you think I'm looking fat
00:04:26 in this?
00:04:27 And he went, no, you're fat, me.
00:04:28 Can you look fat?
00:04:29 And I just said, if you really, Siobhan, if you really had to go to that level of where
00:04:38 someone could be almost, if you knew both of you were clairvoyant, and you spoke what
00:04:42 you had to say, and can women and men, in your opinion, really handle that raw truth?
00:04:50 With that particular example, I feel like you can still be truthful, but you don't have
00:04:54 to be mean.
00:04:55 So with anything in life, it's always the how.
00:04:57 It's how you say it.
00:04:59 And for this particular topic, when you like men or women, I want to say, I feel like,
00:05:07 against what Yohansi said, I feel like men are more likely to not handle the truth as
00:05:12 well as women.
00:05:14 A couple instances in the case of, let's say, the easiest thing, relationships.
00:05:19 Feelings, for example, if a woman comes to you and tells you how she feels about a situation,
00:05:24 I feel like men generally go into their ego.
00:05:28 So yes, I agree, women can be, we can be delusional and live in that fantasy world.
00:05:33 But with men, I feel like they can also not be willing to face the truth, but from an
00:05:37 ego perspective.
00:05:38 If I am not happy with X, Y, Z, I feel like, and maybe it's how men have been raised, like
00:05:45 generally the average man or those that I've come across, whether it's friends, family,
00:05:51 exes, who have not, they just don't have that emotional sensitivity as I would have had
00:05:59 or some of my female counterparts.
00:06:01 So it just feels like anything you come, it's almost as if it's demasculate, is it demasculated?
00:06:09 - Demasculated.
00:06:10 - Emasculated.
00:06:11 Emasculated, in a sense, and you are just trying to be honest.
00:06:16 So I have had that experience where I would have, again, with the how, but even in the
00:06:20 how, they always got defensive and it just made me feel like, okay, I cannot be honest
00:06:25 with this person.
00:06:26 - Okay.
00:06:27 Now a rose by any other name is still a rose.
00:06:31 So I agree with you that it's not what you say sometimes, it's how you say it.
00:06:36 But if you tell your man or a man tells a woman, either way, I'm not on you anymore.
00:06:43 So he says it in that way, which is a bit harsh, but however he dresses it up or she
00:06:47 dresses it up and it comes down to the bottom line is I don't want to be with you anymore.
00:06:52 I have for, whether it's, I just have lost that love for you, I don't like how you make
00:06:59 me feel or I found someone else, does it make it, does it really make it any easier?
00:07:06 Or when someone says, you're sweet or it's not you, it's me.
00:07:11 - I think most times, like if it reached to that point of like, I'm not on you anymore,
00:07:16 it's because of a suppression of emotions.
00:07:19 Like you've been wanting to say it and she probably said something to trigger, like,
00:07:25 I'm not on you anymore, leave me alone, I'm done.
00:07:27 You know what I mean?
00:07:28 So I don't think men, well, I don't think humans in a whole, does just come out of the
00:07:32 door with an aggressive or defensive tone.
00:07:38 I think it's be a buildup of like, you have these thoughts running around your mind.
00:07:42 - Snowball effects.
00:07:43 - And it's just like, yo, I want to tell you, but again, I don't know how you react to what
00:07:48 I'm going to say and it just come out, it just come out sometime, you know what I mean?
00:07:52 So I don't think anybody does, I don't say anybody, I don't think most people.
00:07:57 - Wake up one day and just, I'm not on you anymore.
00:07:59 - I'm not on this killing.
00:08:00 - I just see it like that, you know what I mean?
00:08:03 - But then.
00:08:04 - A majority of the time, sorry to cut you, majority of the time, like when people do
00:08:07 things poetic, especially like with a breakup or anything like that, I think there's still
00:08:12 any person, because if you have so much effort to be like, you know, roses are red, violets
00:08:18 are blue, but roses must die.
00:08:20 - I don't want to be with you.
00:08:21 - I don't want to be with you.
00:08:23 I think it's to have a level of.
00:08:25 - You can still have care for the person.
00:08:27 - Yeah, you still have that level of care, but for you to say, yo, I'm not on you, bro,
00:08:33 that person done enough.
00:08:35 - So the irony is, is that the four thing, remember I said we want to really present
00:08:39 four things here, and the irony is we spoke about feelings, I said sexual performance,
00:08:43 and then compromise, and the fourth one was actually breakups, which all ties into feelings.
00:08:49 And because it's such a major one, and breakups can come in all shapes, forms, and sizes,
00:08:57 and we speak about the fact that someone's breaking up can be connected also to someone's
00:09:02 love language, and you're not wanting to say something, instead of the snowball effect,
00:09:09 while it's happening, while we're rolling at that particular point, if you say certain
00:09:14 things at that point, maybe you can diffuse it.
00:09:17 In essence, if something's going to happen, it's going to happen.
00:09:19 I mean, whether it happens now or happens 10 years from now, if it's destined to happen,
00:09:24 it's going to happen.
00:09:25 But maybe the sharpness of it, maybe the residual feelings or the resentment may not be there
00:09:31 where people can possibly be friends, if they have a breakup.
00:09:36 So the love language is if you're feeling a particular way, and you're saying, "Listen,
00:09:41 this woman," like you mentioned about ego, because men are really a lot based on ego,
00:09:45 you want to be touched in a certain way.
00:09:46 - More than women.
00:09:47 - More than women.
00:09:48 - All right, go ahead.
00:09:49 - Driven by ego, right?
00:09:50 - Go ahead.
00:09:51 - I would leave that for you to talk about, because men are mostly about ego, and if it
00:09:59 is that you're in a particular way, you want a certain, your love language might be to
00:10:03 be touched, and that's not happening for you, or you want to get a certain pleasure, and
00:10:09 that's not happening.
00:10:11 You might build it up, build it up, like, "Okay, well, what's the bigger picture here?
00:10:14 I could put that aside, or I'm not going to bring that up now."
00:10:18 Or sometimes I might step out in order to get it, because I'm tired asking for it at
00:10:23 home.
00:10:24 And then it reaches to the point that, like you said, one day something happens, and you
00:10:29 just turn around and be like, "Go on from here now."
00:10:32 - Yeah.
00:10:33 - Well, I think the progressive aspect of it, because as Jovelo was saying, and you
00:10:39 were saying, it's not just, he just come up with it, and I think truth should be, and
00:10:43 I'll tell you what Siobhan's saying, in terms of respect.
00:10:47 If every day you see something that you may not like, or you disapprove of, you could
00:10:52 say it, because in that moment, let's say it's a small thing, and because it's a small
00:10:55 thing, you don't have that much emotional charge.
00:10:58 - Could and should.
00:10:59 - Could and should, right?
00:11:00 I'm using that, because you could be triggered by something even outside the relationship.
00:11:04 But if that one moment you're able to say, "Baby, honey, I don't like this," right?
00:11:10 That's day one, versus waiting until day 100, where it's this buildup.
00:11:14 And that's where the truth is, because, again, we could question whether men or women could
00:11:19 handle truth better, but Siobhan, you were saying, based on the person's upbringing also,
00:11:25 right?
00:11:26 How emotional, mature a man or a woman could be.
00:11:30 And I mean, I'll come with that ego with men and women a little later, but I really think
00:11:35 is in each moment, every day, to tell small truth, to be truthful, so it wouldn't build
00:11:41 up, so it come out in that disrespectful manner.
00:11:43 - But you don't think like telling small truths on a daily basis could actually make your
00:11:48 partner feel like, "Yo, you just have a problem on the whole with me," because it's every
00:11:53 day something.
00:11:54 Like, just say, "Siobhan, boy, you don't like your girlfriend leaving her shoe by the door."
00:12:02 Let's use that for example, and let's mention that today.
00:12:06 "Hey, baby, no, I really don't like when you leave that shoe by the door."
00:12:10 Then tomorrow, "You don't like when she put the key on the rack that I sit in with you."
00:12:15 "Hey, baby, you know the key on the rack?"
00:12:18 Something like that.
00:12:19 And you keep doing that for a hundred days, this person is going to feel like, "So it's
00:12:25 every day something with me then.
00:12:27 You have a problem with me then."
00:12:28 - What is it you like about her?
00:12:30 - Well, then what you're saying is two things.
00:12:35 One is in the first stages of any relationship, you have to do things like that.
00:12:39 I remember the first day of marriage is really, "I like this, I do like this.
00:12:43 I like this, I do like this."
00:12:45 This up and down until you find out who it is.
00:12:46 - Who's your beloved, the lover of someone.
00:12:48 - Right.
00:12:49 And let me say even outside of marriage, it's boyfriend and girlfriend.
00:12:51 When they're now getting to know each other, you would say the things you like, you would
00:12:55 say the things you don't like.
00:12:56 So then what you're saying is one, we should also balance that truth with positive things.
00:13:02 That's what I'm hearing, and I like that.
00:13:05 And then two, the reality of any relationship is in the first stage, you really need to
00:13:09 go through these things.
00:13:11 Because maybe now we're thinking it's the first stages of a relationship, and maybe
00:13:15 let's call it the honeymoon stage.
00:13:16 But maybe the honeymoon stage is our facade, because we really should be saying in those
00:13:21 early stages, "I really do like this thing."
00:13:23 - See, that's putting up a door, because you want to get through this, isn't it?
00:13:27 - I don't want to, I mean, this is, as always, it's a very good convo, but we're speaking
00:13:33 a lot specifically about relationships.
00:13:36 But the context is men and women.
00:13:39 So it could be your female friends, it could be your colleagues, it could be your sister,
00:13:44 it could be your mother, but generally, can a man or woman handle the truth?
00:13:50 And yes, because it's both genders, you want to ask, "Who can handle it probably better?"
00:13:57 And you answer your presence by saying, "Men can handle it better."
00:14:01 I didn't get the feeling, Siobhan, that you fully agreed with that.
00:14:04 - I don't fully agree.
00:14:07 I think if we have to really extend, get a more extensive answer, I would say it is subjective
00:14:12 to the person, because I've seen both instances where women handle the truth better than men,
00:14:17 or they didn't handle it better than men.
00:14:19 But I guess for this conversation, if I had to go with the easiest answer, the quickest
00:14:24 answer that comes to mind, I would say men.
00:14:27 And that would have been based on what I have seen, what I have experienced.
00:14:31 And I know you have some things to say about ego, male and female ego.
00:14:36 So even if they're both the same size, I feel like men are more driven or would react with
00:14:42 their ego than women.
00:14:43 I feel like we kind of suppress that, or you know what I mean?
00:14:50 - If we're talking about male and female egos here, are we saying that it depends on what
00:14:56 is attacked?
00:14:57 So for example, if the male is being attacked based on his masculinity, or if we go back
00:15:06 to the innate Neanderthal approach of men being the hunter and women being the nurturer,
00:15:12 if you attack a man based on that aspect of it, like you can't provide and you can't do
00:15:18 this, whereas if you say the same things to a woman, her reaction might be different because
00:15:25 it's a different subject.
00:15:26 But if I now attack her on, "You're a bad mother," then you might get a bigger reaction.
00:15:33 - And as Siobhan said, it's based on a person as well.
00:15:38 It's based on your maturity level and the relationship you have with the person, whether
00:15:42 it be your aunt, your sister, your cousin, or a partner.
00:15:45 It's a certain things that men identify strongly with, like as you said, providing.
00:15:53 Like I'm a young man and I identify strongly with providing.
00:15:57 If my mother ever see, like 'cause my mom loved me, like if my mom just see, you don't
00:16:05 have it, like you can't, the bills, like--
00:16:08 - You can't mind me, you can't take care of me.
00:16:10 - That will rip me apart.
00:16:11 And even when I'm in a relationship, I tend to like, "Yo, nah, don't pay for that.
00:16:16 Don't do that.
00:16:17 Like, I have it."
00:16:18 That's only because it's a certain things where you identify with.
00:16:21 As a man, I feel like I have to do that.
00:16:24 That is just my role as a man.
00:16:25 So if somebody attacks that, naturally, you will be, you'll respond and you'll feel like
00:16:30 you're eager.
00:16:31 You said you're a journalist.
00:16:32 If I come and I tell you, you like sports.
00:16:34 I say, "But Robert, you know about sports.
00:16:36 You're not good."
00:16:37 You have to be like, "I don't know about sports.
00:16:38 I see sports, man."
00:16:39 - I like the imitation.
00:16:40 - I see sports, man, naturally.
00:16:41 - Or I might agree with you.
00:16:42 I might say, "Hey."
00:16:43 - Or you can be mature enough to be firming yourself and just be like, "I don't know about
00:16:44 sports.
00:16:45 I don't know about sports."
00:16:46 - I like the imitation.
00:16:47 - I see sports, man, naturally.
00:16:48 - Or you can be mature enough to be firming yourself and just be like, "Cool."
00:16:52 Like if somebody say, "Hey, Junior Lee, you're not funny on stage."
00:16:55 Cool.
00:16:56 - Because you know.
00:16:57 - Like, "Guys make money doing that."
00:16:58 Like, good.
00:16:59 - And this is your area of expertise.
00:17:00 You're not going to let somebody who doesn't know what you do and what it takes to be you
00:17:04 and be in your position tell you.
00:17:06 Anybody could say anything.
00:17:07 It's how you let that, I guess, affect you.
00:17:09 - So if I tell you, "You're not funny," right, that's just my opinion.
00:17:13 And opinions are like, "(beep)."
00:17:16 Everybody has one.
00:17:17 - I'm seeing that.
00:17:18 - But I see the same thing in relationships.
00:17:20 Like your partner could have an opinion and that don't necessarily mean that it's the
00:17:25 reality.
00:17:26 Like I have an uncle, he's been married for years and his wife told him something a day.
00:17:30 Oh no, actually that wasn't my uncle, that's my father.
00:17:33 His wife told him something a day.
00:17:35 And like, rather than arguing with her, he said he sat down, he let the day pass, and
00:17:41 when he woke up in the morning, he said, "Hey, what you tell me last night, that is not me."
00:17:45 Like you said that out of anger and that is not who I am.
00:17:48 So you're painting a picture of me in your brain that do exist.
00:17:52 And like when they had a conversation, she said, "Yeah, I really just said those things
00:17:56 out of anger."
00:17:57 So you as a man and as a woman, you had to know like, "All right, this person is angry,
00:18:02 so they're talking out of anger here.
00:18:05 So I just going to allow you to speak out of anger."
00:18:07 And like with my, should I say that?
00:18:12 In my relationships.
00:18:13 - No, it's all confidential.
00:18:16 - Yes.
00:18:17 - It's between the four of us here.
00:18:19 - So like in my relationship, like just recently I had an argument and I was beaming on the
00:18:27 phone.
00:18:28 But I didn't blow up because I've learned over the years because I've been with the
00:18:32 person a little bit.
00:18:33 So I've learned I don't have to blow up.
00:18:35 I don't have to, I don't have to be like that.
00:18:38 But I was calm.
00:18:39 I was like, I don't appreciate this.
00:18:41 And within me being calm, I said some things, but I said it calm.
00:18:46 And she was like, "You're saying those things because you're upset right now.
00:18:51 And normally that would trigger me and this could turn into a big argument, but I'm not
00:18:55 going to allow you to do that today."
00:18:58 And a day after I revisited what I was saying and I was like, "Yeah, I was really just saying
00:19:02 those things because I was upset.
00:19:04 I was really upset because I already get my point across.
00:19:07 But hey, I find you're not really bothered by what I see.
00:19:10 So let me amp it up a little bit with my words."
00:19:12 So what is the root is what you're really trying to get to.
00:19:18 So that might've been a trigger, but the root could have been the fact that you just don't
00:19:22 like how she reacts or not react to a particular.
00:19:26 We have to take a short break.
00:19:27 A lot of good convo here.
00:19:31 The topic, can men and women handle the truth?
00:19:35 (upbeat music)
00:19:47 So thanks for staying with us for a very riveting and exciting conversation.
00:19:53 One that can really bring about a culmination of most of the conversations that we've had.
00:20:00 What can men and women handle the truth?
00:20:03 And there's so many areas, feelings, compromise, breakups, which ties into feelings,
00:20:09 and sexual performance.
00:20:10 Sexual performance being a very, very big one.
00:20:14 But before we went to the break,
00:20:16 Javel was making a really good point about conversations that you have.
00:20:19 And in an argument, is what you're actually discussing or arguing about,
00:20:27 is that actually what's wrong?
00:20:31 I mean, it might be a small part of it, but sometimes what is the root cause?
00:20:35 The deeper meaning behind someone leaving their socks there?
00:20:39 Because if everything was perfect, would that really make a difference?
00:20:42 It might be you feeling disrespected.
00:20:44 You're feeling that, you know, I just cleaned the place.
00:20:47 You know, you don't love me anymore.
00:20:49 And it's all of these things, that snowball effect.
00:20:51 Because we might not be seeing the small truths.
00:20:54 And as Johansi pointed out, even if you're giving these small truths,
00:20:58 not only it's a matter of how you say it, but also the affirmations
00:21:03 that you give along the way with that small truth that allows them to say,
00:21:08 you know what, leaving the fridge door open,
00:21:11 I understand why it might be a pet peeve.
00:21:14 It's not something, whether it is a pet peeve or not, it's out of respect.
00:21:18 Like, you know, is it really taking anything out of me to close the fridge door?
00:21:21 Because actually it does waste energy.
00:21:24 Am I doing this to be antagonistic?
00:21:27 And why am I doing it to be antagonistic?
00:21:29 Am I trying to also get attention?
00:21:31 Or is it just me?
00:21:32 Or is it just me? Correct.
00:21:33 So when you do your own introspection,
00:21:36 and some of the things I realize in an argument with anyone
00:21:39 or any sort of heated discussion,
00:21:41 when someone's at 80, you cannot be at even 30.
00:21:45 There's the 80-20 rule.
00:21:47 There's only 100%.
00:21:49 So if you're at 80 and somebody's at 30,
00:21:52 then there's clearly going to be an imbalance.
00:21:55 So if they're at 80, you need to be at 20 at the very most.
00:21:58 And that comes with waiting.
00:22:00 So when you're writing a letter, for example,
00:22:02 or email at work, and you want to send it to somebody,
00:22:05 and you have all this pent up,
00:22:06 and you're seeing all of these different things.
00:22:08 Sometimes, apart from grammatical errors,
00:22:10 when you go back and you say, "Wow, I didn't punctuate this properly,"
00:22:14 you may realize that, "I don't want to send this anymore,"
00:22:17 because you've come down.
00:22:19 And looking at that and having that pause,
00:22:23 being a bit pensive sometimes in your actions,
00:22:25 taking a moment.
00:22:26 My grandmother would always say,
00:22:28 "Put your brain in gear before you put your mouth in motion."
00:22:32 It may help diffuse some of these things,
00:22:34 but in diffusing it in an argument
00:22:38 doesn't mean to suppress.
00:22:40 You just choose your battle.
00:22:41 You choose if it means enough to you,
00:22:43 because you might realize,
00:22:44 "These socks don't really mean a lot to me."
00:22:46 But if it means enough to you that you realize,
00:22:48 "Listen, this could start to degrade,"
00:22:50 or pick away, or you're chiseling up little bits,
00:22:54 little bits, little bits at the relationship.
00:22:56 And women, as you hear in relationships as well,
00:22:58 in that suppression,
00:23:00 reach the point that there's no return.
00:23:03 They've suppressed so long
00:23:05 that by the time you realize,
00:23:08 "Oh, this is happening,"
00:23:09 well, that's what you meant, baby.
00:23:11 Done.
00:23:12 In her mind, lock off, looking at that next man.
00:23:15 - So, I think women are really good observers.
00:23:19 And I've come to the realization
00:23:21 that people don't necessarily do things to be malicious.
00:23:26 You leave any socks where you're not supposed to leave it,
00:23:29 leave any fridge open.
00:23:30 You're not doing it because you want to badmine me.
00:23:32 - Not always.
00:23:33 - Well, this is granted.
00:23:35 You like the person and you love the person you're being with.
00:23:37 - I would hope so.
00:23:38 - I would hope so,
00:23:39 that you're not intentionally being malicious.
00:23:41 But if I have communicated to you
00:23:43 that I don't like when you leave the socks,
00:23:45 or I don't like when you leave the refrigerator open,
00:23:47 and you repeat it, and it continues,
00:23:50 that's when it becomes problematic to me
00:23:52 because I've expressed that I don't like this.
00:23:54 So then, why do you continue to do it
00:23:56 when it's a simple thing?
00:23:58 And I ask--
00:23:59 - Not simple, but go ahead.
00:24:00 - Well, I feel like it's a simple enough of a habit
00:24:03 that you could just break.
00:24:04 So, I had that conversation with someone.
00:24:05 - You could just what?
00:24:06 - Break?
00:24:07 - Simple habit.
00:24:09 Go ahead now, go ahead.
00:24:12 - Okay, lovely.
00:24:13 What's happening right now?
00:24:14 - A little awkward pause there, but okay.
00:24:15 (laughing)
00:24:17 So, I had a conversation with someone
00:24:20 where they were doing something repetitively,
00:24:23 and I would have asked them multiple times not to do it.
00:24:27 And I just asked them casually, I was like,
00:24:29 how come you don't, why do you do X, Y, Z?
00:24:32 And they kind of just looked at me,
00:24:34 and I'd be like, I would have expressed before
00:24:35 that I don't like when you do X, Y, Z.
00:24:37 And they said yes, they considered it,
00:24:39 and very calm, again, the approach.
00:24:43 And it's like, no, I don't.
00:24:45 It's like, is there a reason why you don't,
00:24:47 or you do X, Y, Z?
00:24:49 If you tell me I want to know why as well,
00:24:51 maybe there's something that I don't know
00:24:53 is behind your actions.
00:24:54 And they were like, no, there really isn't any reason.
00:24:57 - No, I see that there, I think that is a problem,
00:25:00 because human behavior is thought into feeling into action.
00:25:04 There's always a motivation behind.
00:25:06 So, if we cannot connect, the person, male or female,
00:25:08 cannot connect with why, then there will be a problem,
00:25:11 because then they can't explain it to you.
00:25:13 Or therefore, even the behavior change cannot exist,
00:25:16 or cannot occur, because they don't even connect
00:25:19 to the reason why.
00:25:21 - Okay, so you think that they don't know why
00:25:23 at the root of it.
00:25:24 They can't answer that themselves.
00:25:26 So the easiest thing-- - Yeah, so therefore,
00:25:26 it can't change.
00:25:27 - So the easiest thing for them to say is,
00:25:28 there is no reason, but there is,
00:25:30 they just don't know. - Always, always have a reason.
00:25:33 - A reason is not, that is just what it is, though?
00:25:35 - No. - No.
00:25:36 - No, okay, I can understand that.
00:25:37 - So, for example, when you say there's always a reason,
00:25:41 let's get specific.
00:25:43 So if the action, because with you getting upset by it,
00:25:47 you can also look at a different perspective and say,
00:25:50 does it really bother me that much
00:25:51 that I'm going to cause a big issue about it, right?
00:25:53 But in terms of the action, having a reason.
00:25:55 So leaving a fridge door open, my reason behind,
00:26:00 so there's no reason why I leave it open,
00:26:02 is because I'm telling myself,
00:26:04 whether consciously or subconsciously,
00:26:05 I'm just going there to get this glass,
00:26:07 and I'm going to come back and put it in there.
00:26:09 So that's my reason.
00:26:11 - There's not a reason why I'm doing it to annoy her,
00:26:14 even though she's mentioned it several times.
00:26:16 - But you're not doing it to annoy her, right?
00:26:19 - But there's a reason why I'm leaving it open.
00:26:21 - The reason why, as you said,
00:26:22 because you're just going somewhere close
00:26:24 to just get the glass to leave it open, right?
00:26:27 Let me go back a little bit to what you all were saying.
00:26:31 Emotions, you're saying, in terms of when you're angry,
00:26:35 sometimes emotions, you say things,
00:26:36 and you want to know why, and you explained
00:26:38 you wanted to get a certain reaction,
00:26:40 or you wasn't getting a reaction.
00:26:42 We human beings are so complex.
00:26:46 Some of you don't understand how exactly complex we are,
00:26:48 and if you go with that simple concept
00:26:50 of thought into feeling into interaction.
00:26:53 I listened to a lecture recently that says,
00:26:56 they were explaining exactly what emotions and feelings are,
00:26:59 and one person said, and it resonated with me,
00:27:02 is that we experience so much stimuli, right?
00:27:06 That your brain sometimes cannot process it,
00:27:09 and a feeling is your brain's summary of what's going on.
00:27:14 So when you're happy, it's because so many things happen,
00:27:17 your brain just says, okay, just get happy.
00:27:19 Sad, angry, et cetera, because you have so many things
00:27:22 going on, and I sat and I thought about that,
00:27:24 because even in a relationship, we talk about the sucks.
00:27:27 The sucks mean something from childhood and thing,
00:27:30 so many processes happening, and then me leaving it there
00:27:33 means so many things, so in my one action,
00:27:37 it have, let's say, 10 processes,
00:27:38 and in your observation of the action,
00:27:40 you have 10 processes.
00:27:42 If we don't take the time to really connect with it,
00:27:47 and that's why I was saying in the first stages
00:27:50 of a relationship, why we should be just open
00:27:52 about everything, this is why, why, why, why,
00:27:55 and there's a reason why, to even connect with it
00:27:57 so that we could understand each other better.
00:28:00 Now, I don't know, I could put in a little bit of biology
00:28:03 there and say, because of how men make up
00:28:05 and how women make up, we could interpret these things
00:28:08 differently and how men process emotions
00:28:10 and how women process emotions differently,
00:28:12 or so we spoke about that before,
00:28:14 but I think it's a lot of understanding yourself first,
00:28:19 right, understanding your truth,
00:28:20 knowing what is your truth, because the fact is,
00:28:23 I like to leave the fridge open, right,
00:28:26 because you have a logical reason.
00:28:28 It might be logical to someone else,
00:28:31 but I make the most sense to, because why I take an energy
00:28:33 to close the fridge and open it back?
00:28:35 - Can I take that a bit extra, okay, you do that,
00:28:38 but then you forget the fridge open.
00:28:43 What if that is what happens in this scenario?
00:28:45 That is what gets me upset, the fact that you do that,
00:28:47 I understand the logic, but then you are the type of person
00:28:50 you're very forgetful, and then 10 minutes after,
00:28:52 while you go on and eat in your food,
00:28:54 you say, shucks, I forget the fridge open,
00:28:56 so much so that that's the habit.
00:28:58 - I have put that to--
00:28:59 - So, right, but then I'm saying,
00:29:02 so if you know that you, okay, you'll go on,
00:29:04 give him a little chance.
00:29:05 - No, meaning like I'm a fridge, I'm a leave open,
00:29:07 I like to leave the fridge open.
00:29:08 - So if that is what happens more often than not,
00:29:12 then why not go to the root of that,
00:29:15 which is just close the fridge to begin with?
00:29:16 If you know you're going to forget it,
00:29:18 take Saturday for us, then why not just,
00:29:21 you know, just close the door?
00:29:22 - But I'm not doing it to annoy my partner,
00:29:25 even though I know it does annoy her,
00:29:28 I'm not consciously doing my reason behind leaving it open,
00:29:31 or even forgetting, it is not based,
00:29:34 it is not tied to annoying her, whether I like her or not.
00:29:38 No, I just wanted to touch on the fact,
00:29:40 when you mention if you love someone or you like someone,
00:29:42 you wouldn't do certain things to aggravate them.
00:29:45 That's not true, because if I'm looking,
00:29:48 as Javel pointed out with regards to what he really wanted,
00:29:52 even in the argument, is to be recognized in specific ways.
00:29:57 If I'm having that bout of silent treatment, argument,
00:30:02 and I know, okay, you know what?
00:30:05 There are some buttons I could touch here, right?
00:30:07 I'll leave the fridge open,
00:30:09 I'm going to leave the drawers on the ground,
00:30:11 you understand?
00:30:11 I'm going to leave the tap leaking.
00:30:13 My thing is, it's something to get a rise
00:30:17 out of that person to get a reaction,
00:30:19 which brings me to where I want the basis
00:30:23 of the rest of this manhood to go.
00:30:25 We talk about breakups and sexual performance,
00:30:28 and I want to presence it.
00:30:29 When men have breakups, and well, men and women,
00:30:36 and we speak about, or men and men, women and women,
00:30:40 just no more the gender, and even that,
00:30:43 that might be a touchy subject, right?
00:30:45 For all intents and purposes, male and female.
00:30:47 And we speak about, you always hear a woman,
00:30:54 when she reaches to that point, can make the cutoff.
00:30:56 She may cry for six months, a year, whatever the case may be.
00:30:59 And this is not a generalization,
00:31:01 this is just based on some of the interactions
00:31:03 that I've seen or heard or in research.
00:31:06 Whereas a man tends to linger based on that ego,
00:31:09 always thinking to himself, it not really done,
00:31:13 or they could be attacked back,
00:31:14 or she will be remembering how I handled the scene,
00:31:17 all of these different things.
00:31:19 And in that tying in, what you find that,
00:31:23 you see men do in certain environments,
00:31:27 is that they keep prodding, if they have a breakup,
00:31:30 they will keep doing things.
00:31:31 And instead of going to the woman and saying,
00:31:35 okay, well, it's done, I move on, I loved you,
00:31:38 all of these different things,
00:31:39 you tend to do certain things that are antagonistic.
00:31:42 So if it's, you have children, you may do things,
00:31:45 and females, 'cause I remember a story you gave me,
00:31:48 where you do things to ensure the man doesn't get,
00:31:52 the woman doesn't get some, whether it's money,
00:31:57 or you tell her, just really vile stuff.
00:32:02 And you think that you're doing things
00:32:04 to get a rise out of that person.
00:32:07 And it's almost sick in a way,
00:32:10 that in trying to get the rise out of her
00:32:12 in a negative way, you think somehow,
00:32:14 that's gonna bring her back to you.
00:32:16 And I don't, you're looking at me in a--
00:32:19 - I don't get your logic, too.
00:32:21 But I've experienced something similar to that as well.
00:32:24 - What is the logic behind that, Yohansi?
00:32:26 Why do we do something negative, hoping for a positive?
00:32:29 - Let me talk about ego then, right?
00:32:31 Ego, and I'm open to interpretations here, right?
00:32:37 Ego is something that always wants to be recognized,
00:32:41 and always want things his or her way, right?
00:32:45 Let me go with ego, no matter what the world is,
00:32:47 I want things my way.
00:32:49 I want people to see me,
00:32:50 I want to always be the quote-unquote best.
00:32:53 It's always about me.
00:32:54 So therefore, one, I premise in because
00:32:57 I don't think it's a male or female thing,
00:33:00 it depends on our developmental,
00:33:01 our emotionally developmental stage.
00:33:03 So we talk about getting the rise out of somebody.
00:33:06 That is the ego, you know?
00:33:07 The ego wants a certain reaction from that person.
00:33:11 So whether it is sex we're talking about,
00:33:13 whether it is a breakup, an argument,
00:33:15 I want, I think this person should be reacting this way
00:33:18 to whatever I doing.
00:33:20 And if they're not, then I'll rise up the ante on it,
00:33:24 or I will say worse things because I'm talking nice
00:33:26 to the person and I'm already getting a reaction.
00:33:28 So you know what?
00:33:29 Forget you, you (beep) thing,
00:33:31 I'll leave when it sucks just in case.
00:33:33 And you know what?
00:33:33 The ego feel good because the person now getting a reaction.
00:33:37 So even though it mightn't be a positive reaction,
00:33:41 because your ego still feeling good,
00:33:42 yeah, boy, I get this person vexed.
00:33:44 I get this person to react a certain way.
00:33:46 - I get this person vexed,
00:33:48 it's more like I get this person to understand
00:33:50 where I'm coming from.
00:33:51 Because sometimes--
00:33:52 - Well, do they even understand with all I have?
00:33:53 - Most times, no.
00:33:54 - Most times, no.
00:33:55 But because of the reaction,
00:33:57 you can interpret it as they understand.
00:33:59 - The ego will change, you have to think that.
00:34:01 - Because like, all right, like if you have a big issue,
00:34:03 it's some issue with your boyfriend, right?
00:34:06 And you're telling,
00:34:07 "Hey, I find me really using the socks on for each thing."
00:34:10 (laughs)
00:34:11 You have an issue, you say, "Yo, I have an issue with this."
00:34:13 And then I say, "All right, well,
00:34:15 but it's a big issue for you.
00:34:17 This is a real huge issue for you."
00:34:19 All right, good.
00:34:21 That, you're not gonna accept that
00:34:23 because you're gonna think--
00:34:24 - That is all?
00:34:25 - That is all, so you don't care how I feel then.
00:34:27 And then it goes on to something else or something else.
00:34:30 And let me just say the person leaving the fridge door open,
00:34:34 that could be a reaction to something that you just do
00:34:37 that they're not telling you about.
00:34:38 So it's like, "But you just do this,
00:34:40 and I don't tell you nothing,
00:34:41 so why are you telling me about why I just do this
00:34:44 when I don't even--"
00:34:46 But then how can I even address it if I'm unaware?
00:34:50 - Because what is good for the goose
00:34:51 must be good for the gander.
00:34:53 Shiv, I think you want to mute that call.
00:34:54 Somebody really trying to get your--
00:34:55 - That's not me.
00:34:56 - Now your hands are full.
00:34:57 - Now your hands are full.
00:34:58 (laughs)
00:34:58 - Stop being distracted.
00:34:59 (laughs)
00:35:00 - Somebody really trying to get in on this conversation.
00:35:02 - So that is how I would interpret it.
00:35:06 Like maybe your partner don't feel
00:35:09 that they could talk to you,
00:35:11 or they probably think, "Yo, you're gonna take this
00:35:13 the wrong way if I tell you this,
00:35:15 so it's better I not tell you that."
00:35:17 So that is maybe why your auntie would say,
00:35:20 "Men can probably accept the truth easier than women."
00:35:23 It's a real men who just be in relationships
00:35:25 and do say nothing about anything,
00:35:28 because they know, "All right, my partner go and
00:35:31 feel a type of way about me saying this,
00:35:32 so it's better I just--"
00:35:34 It not really affecting me that much.
00:35:37 - To keep the peace.
00:35:38 - Yeah, so cool, whatever.
00:35:39 - So that in itself, we have to go to our break,
00:35:44 and that in itself is another,
00:35:45 I feel this one is gonna go on a bit longer,
00:35:48 as we've seen a couple others,
00:35:49 because the topic is important.
00:35:51 How you pointed out, the need to have that ego fed,
00:35:57 regardless, is still a win,
00:35:59 whether it's a negative or a positive.
00:36:01 And as you mentioned, with regards to how that's
00:36:04 being perceived, could also bring about the other topic
00:36:06 where people, they always say, "Men don't communicate."
00:36:10 And a lot of times it's, "Listen, I'd rather hear that,
00:36:13 "nyeh-nyeh-nyeh in my ears, rather just don't say anything."
00:36:17 But you still, if you want a certain,
00:36:19 if it has your love language, and you want it,
00:36:22 all that then happens is, you go where you can get it,
00:36:25 where you're not getting that in your ears.
00:36:28 - Where you're getting it, let me hear it, Andy.
00:36:29 - Nyeh-nyeh-nyeh in your ears.
00:36:30 - Like quick story before we--
00:36:32 - Real quick story, 'cause we gotta go to our break.
00:36:34 After your story, go to the break.
00:36:36 - Like as you answer, same with ego,
00:36:38 and respect and stuff like that, right?
00:36:39 I think I am a great provider,
00:36:42 I think I will go out my way to provide, right?
00:36:44 So tell this one person I was with,
00:36:46 and I was running late for something,
00:36:48 and I didn't iron my clothes as yet,
00:36:50 so I was like, "Can you just iron this real quick for me?"
00:36:53 'Cause I was just lying on the bed.
00:36:54 I was like, "Can you iron this real quick for me?
00:36:55 "I just gonna take a shower, and I wanna head out."
00:36:58 And the reaction was like, "Gosh."
00:37:01 So I was like, "Yo, you can't iron something for me,
00:37:05 "and I asked you to be a housewife,
00:37:06 "and I just asked you to iron a shirt for me,
00:37:09 "I just need this shirt."
00:37:11 And a couple days passed, I was feeling,
00:37:14 like I was like, "Damn, that's so weird now,
00:37:16 "like I would iron something normal."
00:37:18 And when we had a conversation about it,
00:37:20 she was like, when she was younger,
00:37:22 people used to always make her iron,
00:37:25 and I used to make her feel that type of way.
00:37:27 So it kind of ties back into the person I'm bringing,
00:37:29 with whatever they have going on.
00:37:31 - You never know.
00:37:32 - Yeah, and that's a story by Junior Lee,
00:37:33 and we're going to a break.
00:37:34 (upbeat music)
00:37:37 Welcome back to Manhood, folks.
00:37:48 Thank you for joining us.
00:37:49 I am Siobhan, and thanks for having me.
00:37:51 Yes, I am the only female on Manhood,
00:37:55 but we having some good conversations,
00:37:57 and I think they're very necessary.
00:37:59 Can men and women handle the truth?
00:38:02 So we get into the spicier side of things now.
00:38:06 I know earlier we mentioned,
00:38:07 we like to hit people where it hurts sometimes,
00:38:10 if you feel like we're not being heard, right?
00:38:13 And I feel like one of the major ones,
00:38:15 I've never used it personally myself,
00:38:17 but we've seen it on Hooded time and time again,
00:38:20 where when a woman really wants to hit a man where it hurts,
00:38:24 no pun intended, you either go for the financials,
00:38:27 like them as a provider, or sexual prowess.
00:38:31 So you'd be like, I live in here,
00:38:33 or they say something, XYZ, DIY, small.
00:38:37 You know what I mean?
00:38:38 Because they know it will impact them
00:38:41 in a way that would be like, well, wow.
00:38:43 So I think that is another area
00:38:47 where men also cannot handle the truth.
00:38:51 - Wow.
00:38:55 I mean, as important as Jebel, you're hungry.
00:38:58 - I think you're sub-a-good.
00:38:59 I really did breakfast this morning.
00:39:01 - That's right.
00:39:02 - You didn't have breakfast for the week.
00:39:03 - Do you want to say something, Jebel?
00:39:05 Stomach, do you have something to say?
00:39:07 - I'm sorry, I have a stomach.
00:39:08 - So, yeah, I think that's definitely an area
00:39:12 where men get quite defensive.
00:39:17 If I could just, I guess, give an experience,
00:39:20 for me personally, I would have been with someone
00:39:23 who didn't like me getting involved in the bedroom.
00:39:28 - What do you mean?
00:39:29 - In the act.
00:39:30 - He didn't want her to do nothing.
00:39:31 - You, he didn't.
00:39:32 - He didn't want her to do anything.
00:39:33 - He didn't want me to do anything
00:39:35 to assist myself in the process, right?
00:39:38 - Right.
00:39:39 - So I remember that happening,
00:39:40 and they were like, well, what are you doing?
00:39:42 And I was just, you know,
00:39:43 you want to try something different, and--
00:39:45 - Siobhan, you could spell it out.
00:39:47 This is manhood.
00:39:48 We need to have people who want to be in parables right now.
00:39:50 - You just, they didn't want me to pleasure myself
00:39:56 while we were pleasuring each other in the act, you know?
00:40:00 - Not this one.
00:40:02 - Not this one.
00:40:03 - Not this one.
00:40:04 - Okay, and what did you take from that?
00:40:08 Like, what do you understand as a result?
00:40:09 - So, in the moment, you know,
00:40:11 because things are happening, functioning is functioning,
00:40:14 and then, you know, it just continues.
00:40:15 Like, okay, fine.
00:40:16 And then after we had a conversation,
00:40:18 I'm like, well, what is the issue?
00:40:19 I don't really see an issue in,
00:40:21 but it made them feel emasculated.
00:40:23 They literally said, the person, he said that to me.
00:40:26 It made me feel emasculated,
00:40:27 that I am not able to get you to that point of pleasure
00:40:31 that you feel like you need to get involved.
00:40:33 - Now, is that because of the size,
00:40:36 or is it that something that you could have said,
00:40:38 hey, well, you could do this that will help me get off
00:40:42 and get him involved,
00:40:44 or is it that he felt conscious about the fact that,
00:40:47 you know, you more on emotion, the ocean, than the--
00:40:51 - Well, for me, it's-- (laughs)
00:40:53 You know what I'm saying?
00:40:54 We had this conversation.
00:40:56 For me, you know, everybody want to talk about size,
00:40:59 but size does matter,
00:41:01 but to explain that, you can also be too big.
00:41:05 You can also be too big.
00:41:06 So, for me, it's more about the emotion and the ocean.
00:41:10 You know?
00:41:10 - And he didn't have the emotion.
00:41:13 - He had emotion and the ocean.
00:41:14 It wasn't bad.
00:41:16 It wasn't bad sex,
00:41:17 but I'm just saying, sometimes you want to try something--
00:41:18 - The size of ship was more like a pirogue.
00:41:21 - Yeah.
00:41:22 - So-- (laughs)
00:41:23 - Yeah, all the concentrating on the size.
00:41:25 - You know what a pirogue is?
00:41:26 - Well, what is happening with focus?
00:41:29 - I am trying to--
00:41:30 - So, let me tell you.
00:41:31 So, I've had both, where we--
00:41:34 - You had a cruise ship?
00:41:35 - I had a cruise ship,
00:41:37 and I've also had-- (laughs)
00:41:39 - A pirogue?
00:41:40 - Where a pi--
00:41:41 - A paddle boat?
00:41:42 - Between the pirogue and the moor.
00:41:44 Oh my God.
00:41:47 But he had emotion and the ocean,
00:41:49 and it was good.
00:41:50 So, it was better than the person who had the,
00:41:53 what was it?
00:41:54 - Cruise ship?
00:41:55 - The cruise ship.
00:41:56 What am I, the, yeah.
00:41:57 - I ain't do this, like, yeah.
00:41:58 - Like, this is the--
00:41:59 - That was it?
00:42:00 (laughs)
00:42:01 - The cruise ship.
00:42:02 - That was the freedom sign, like, you know?
00:42:03 - The cruise ship, right?
00:42:04 Oh my God.
00:42:05 - The free part of being a--
00:42:06 - This is gonna be the thumbnail.
00:42:07 I'm sure this is gonna be the thumbnail.
00:42:08 - It was all of that?
00:42:09 - But--
00:42:10 - It was you?
00:42:11 - You didn't know what to do with it.
00:42:12 You didn't know what to do with it,
00:42:12 so then what is the point?
00:42:14 But, so I think it depends definitely on your ability to,
00:42:19 but then that's the thing.
00:42:21 So this person who had emotion and the ocean,
00:42:23 I don't know if because it was smaller,
00:42:24 they felt like--
00:42:25 - That'll bring me work.
00:42:26 - Yeah, and me getting involved was also saying,
00:42:29 yeah, is it because my,
00:42:32 my dick is smaller that I need to over,
00:42:35 and I don't want her to do anything.
00:42:37 So I never did anything up to that point,
00:42:39 and from the time I did that,
00:42:41 they were just like, no, don't ever.
00:42:43 And that was a red flag for me
00:42:44 because it made me feel uncomfortable.
00:42:48 Like we are having such a,
00:42:49 we're together, we're partners, you know,
00:42:51 we are having this intimate moment.
00:42:52 - You should spice it up.
00:42:53 - Yeah, and you're making me feel uncomfortable
00:42:57 to try new things with you, to do things with you.
00:42:59 So I said, okay, I'm receptive,
00:43:02 'cause again, it's a very delicate thing, topic, right?
00:43:05 So I'm like, I hear what you say,
00:43:07 but I didn't see it that way.
00:43:09 - So how long it take before you own him?
00:43:11 - I've never cheated on anybody.
00:43:13 - But is that because of principles and morals,
00:43:16 or is that simply because--
00:43:17 - Is he the type of man you like?
00:43:19 Is he the type of man you like?
00:43:21 Is he the type of man for,
00:43:23 that's good, is he good?
00:43:25 - Focus, guys, focus.
00:43:25 - Hey, my Ryan boy.
00:43:27 - You know, let's, it's,
00:43:29 it's always a topic that's,
00:43:31 always seems to be comedic, funny.
00:43:33 People sometimes, a lot of times,
00:43:35 people are very uncomfortable with the conversation,
00:43:37 but it's a very real conversation because--
00:43:38 - Tend to cry for it.
00:43:39 - That conversation,
00:43:40 this topic that we're talking about here,
00:43:43 leads to serious levels of violence.
00:43:47 Violence between partners,
00:43:48 violence with other people,
00:43:50 violence of the man committing it to maybe another man
00:43:54 who he may feel is, like you said,
00:43:57 if he becomes the horner man.
00:43:58 So the levels that it goes to,
00:44:00 takes it out of the bedroom
00:44:02 and into an environment that needs to be understood.
00:44:05 So let's take, for example,
00:44:06 your P-Rock guy, right?
00:44:09 Who might have been better motion in the ocean.
00:44:12 Is it that he himself might be in a way of,
00:44:17 you know, we see the detriment of things like porn
00:44:20 that's having on relationships, et cetera, right?
00:44:24 And what that's doing to people,
00:44:26 and as a result, he's thinking,
00:44:28 listen, I'm not mandingo, right?
00:44:30 But that's his insecurity.
00:44:33 You're thinking, hey, let me just do what it takes
00:44:36 in order for us to be part of this relationship.
00:44:39 The question then is, one,
00:44:42 would it have been enough going forward for you?
00:44:45 And if you can answer that honestly,
00:44:48 at what point, because he's thinking it,
00:44:51 do you think he can handle the truth?
00:44:53 Like, would you tell him,
00:44:54 hey, you know, you're better at this
00:44:56 and we're okay with doing this because you're small?
00:44:59 Or--
00:45:00 - I never said he wasn't small.
00:45:02 - No, but--
00:45:03 - He just said he was the smallest.
00:45:05 - Smallest.
00:45:06 - It was--
00:45:07 - Well, smallest don't mean small.
00:45:08 - It was average size.
00:45:10 So, but I'm saying I would have had, right,
00:45:12 that was average size.
00:45:13 And there was someone else who was bigger,
00:45:15 but bigger doesn't mean better.
00:45:17 I'm telling that to all the cameras,
00:45:19 bigger doesn't mean better.
00:45:20 And what we notice, I feel like women,
00:45:22 I feel like men have that in their head
00:45:24 that you need to have a big--
00:45:25 - Would you tell him the truth,
00:45:26 regardless of whether it's size,
00:45:28 whether it's performance,
00:45:30 would you tell him the truth
00:45:32 in terms of how you really feel in that moment?
00:45:36 Like, hey, you know, you ain't--
00:45:38 - I think time and place.
00:45:39 Oh, God, we can't be in the act and then--
00:45:41 - Not in the act, I'm talking--
00:45:42 - But I would have, so the person who had the cruise ship,
00:45:46 I would have expressed to them that,
00:45:48 'cause they asked me, am I the best that you've had?
00:45:51 And I said, no.
00:45:52 And that was a very silent drive.
00:45:56 (laughs)
00:45:58 - Man, this is--
00:45:59 - Listen, I want to come here.
00:46:00 - Yeah, yeah.
00:46:00 - Hear this, hear this, hear this.
00:46:01 - Do your thing, do your thing, y'all.
00:46:02 - Hear this.
00:46:03 Human behavior, listen,
00:46:07 it has so many little things we talk about.
00:46:09 And because we don't talk about sex a lot,
00:46:11 it have even more intricacies with that.
00:46:14 And everybody different, because, okay,
00:46:17 we're talking about size, big or small,
00:46:19 but even a woman herself, her size different.
00:46:23 So if a man big for one person,
00:46:25 could be medium-sized for the next one.
00:46:26 If a man small, et cetera, et cetera.
00:46:27 - Kama Sutra.
00:46:28 - So it have so many,
00:46:30 it have so many different dynamics.
00:46:33 So that's why when we talking about
00:46:35 come back with the truth of it, right?
00:46:37 The truth is, can men or women handle the truth?
00:46:41 Now I think my conclusion is,
00:46:44 it's really not a man-woman thing.
00:46:46 It's really a human thing because,
00:46:50 in the moment, you should be able to tell somebody
00:46:53 what is going on, whether it is in sex,
00:46:55 whether it is in a relationship,
00:46:57 whether it is even in a platonic relationship.
00:46:59 To be able to tell the person,
00:47:01 but to be able to tell that person
00:47:03 what is really going on,
00:47:04 you ought to know what the (beep) going on with you.
00:47:06 You ought to know why,
00:47:08 if a woman touching herself during it,
00:47:10 it doing something to me.
00:47:12 The man who had the cruise ship,
00:47:14 he probably know he have a cruise ship.
00:47:15 So in his mind, every time he had a bitch,
00:47:18 that were even asking,
00:47:19 that is the best he ever had, right?
00:47:21 So it's even understanding yourself,
00:47:25 understanding the truth of yourself,
00:47:27 that you can be able to stand up on it.
00:47:28 Like Jovelle, what you're saying about,
00:47:31 you know you're a good provider, right?
00:47:34 And let me say your market is,
00:47:35 I could provide $10,000 in resources every month.
00:47:39 No matter if somebody say,
00:47:39 well, you're not a good provider,
00:47:40 you know I could provide that 10,000.
00:47:43 So you could stand up on your own.
00:47:44 If you're a journalist, we talk about a journalist.
00:47:47 If you know you're a good journalist,
00:47:48 no matter what a person say, you could do it.
00:47:50 Now, sex is a little different,
00:47:52 because sex is something you're having with someone.
00:47:55 So all the skills I may know with Susie,
00:47:58 when I reach Mary,
00:48:00 Mary might have a whole different thing.
00:48:02 So you could be an expert with Susie,
00:48:04 but you're not an expert with Mary.
00:48:05 So to be able to listen to Mary,
00:48:09 to hear something,
00:48:10 I think that's the part about handling the truth.
00:48:12 - And I was gonna say,
00:48:14 that man is a mad man.
00:48:17 The man who had a problem with you doing your thing.
00:48:20 Because if you're with somebody as a man or as a woman,
00:48:24 you need to understand,
00:48:25 like, yo, this person like this,
00:48:27 or they do like this.
00:48:29 And you had to have that conversation,
00:48:30 like, I am, I said I'm a dingo,
00:48:33 but I just listen.
00:48:34 Like, I know what will work for my partner,
00:48:37 unless if it's like a one jam with somebody,
00:48:39 then don't know what happened,
00:48:41 because it's a one jam.
00:48:42 But like, if it's a partner,
00:48:43 like you had them kind of conversations,
00:48:45 like, like, Dan, you can't meet my (beep)
00:48:49 with your, with your, with your,
00:48:50 - P-Rug.
00:48:51 - With your P-Rug.
00:48:52 And I tell myself,
00:48:53 and I tell myself,
00:48:54 and I can tell Aguile,
00:48:56 like, you don't really do it for me,
00:48:58 and I had to do this to get me there,
00:49:00 and.
00:49:01 - Communicate.
00:49:02 And just.
00:49:03 - But most men, most men don't really care.
00:49:04 - And just put it out there.
00:49:06 - Well, I guess,
00:49:07 if we're going men on women,
00:49:08 I would say a lot of men just don't really care.
00:49:10 - Yeah.
00:49:11 - So that why I would say a lot of men,
00:49:12 men couldn't handle the truth.
00:49:13 - Yeah.
00:49:14 - About how you cause a man to really care.
00:49:15 - Men just want a jam though.
00:49:16 - But.
00:49:17 - Men just want a jam.
00:49:17 - That person with the P-Rug,
00:49:19 they also put a lot of,
00:49:21 they focused on their climaxing.
00:49:25 You know, a lot of the time,
00:49:26 me climaxing wasn't a priority.
00:49:28 If it happened, it happened.
00:49:29 If it didn't, well, you know.
00:49:31 But then I was with a partner who,
00:49:35 that was the main goal.
00:49:36 You need to feel, as in me,
00:49:38 I should only, I'm like,
00:49:40 what, what do you mean?
00:49:41 And I'm feeling like, you know,
00:49:43 I've never felt this way where someone was so attentive.
00:49:45 It's like, do you like when I do this?
00:49:46 Or I realize you like this,
00:49:47 so we're gonna, I'm gonna do this.
00:49:49 Or, not necessarily like,
00:49:51 we didn't sit down with notes or whatever,
00:49:53 but it came up in conversation.
00:49:54 I'll be like.
00:49:55 - If I need to do a clean act, shouldn't there.
00:49:56 - Like.
00:49:56 - Good, good, good, good.
00:49:57 - Remember, remember.
00:49:58 (laughing)
00:49:59 - Okay, remember, my dear.
00:50:00 I just want to, because we come into the end
00:50:03 of this conversation, and it's a very intense one.
00:50:06 And I want to bring it back to,
00:50:08 this show's title, Manhood, Better as Brothers,
00:50:13 it's about coming together, community,
00:50:17 to be able to reach men and young men where they're at.
00:50:22 But there's also the other meaning to manhood.
00:50:25 And that is where you get anyone, any man,
00:50:30 regardless of whether he's strong,
00:50:34 whether he's in whatever capacity,
00:50:37 that's where you hit them where it's hardest.
00:50:39 And men, I always remember,
00:50:40 men also use that against other men,
00:50:43 to be able to say, hey, I handle a woman,
00:50:45 even if you want a man,
00:50:47 in that he want to make sure, like you said,
00:50:49 asking you, is he the best that you have?
00:50:51 Because he,
00:50:54 I remember this joke where a man says to another man,
00:50:58 hey, those women saying you're small like a Tic Tac,
00:51:03 and he said, "Why your mother breath smell so good?"
00:51:06 You understand?
00:51:07 So again, it's,
00:51:08 no, quick with, but it is the attacks that we use,
00:51:14 and it's always based on your genitalia.
00:51:16 So--
00:51:17 - But Robert, you have to be self-aware as a person,
00:51:21 like you need to be self-aware, like,
00:51:23 "Dang, I is not no more than go,
00:51:25 "so if you tell me, yo, Junior, you have a small boy,
00:51:28 "yeah, good."
00:51:29 - That's who you're born with.
00:51:30 - Yeah, what you want me to do?
00:51:31 - You want to insecure about it.
00:51:34 - You want to add something to it?
00:51:35 - You're not funny, okay, that's your opinion.
00:51:37 - You are the no, and you are the partner with no, yo.
00:51:40 Yeah, like that.
00:51:41 - Am I having sex with you still?
00:51:43 So then how do you--
00:51:43 - But women--
00:51:44 - If I was a chef, and I be making jokes,
00:51:46 I see pirogue man,
00:51:47 look the pirogue man come to fish, let me fish.
00:51:49 Like, you want to be,
00:51:51 you want to be so--
00:51:52 - Yeah, I agree, I agree, I agree.
00:51:55 - You gotta understand as well, right?
00:51:57 Like, it going to have men who could real jam,
00:52:00 it going to have women who could real,
00:52:01 it have ladies who could do things
00:52:03 chef wouldn't even dream about doing,
00:52:06 and men, like, women have that,
00:52:08 I sure women probably have that same thought as well.
00:52:11 Like, it going to have women who could really get on bad,
00:52:15 and your man probably had, like,
00:52:17 I had partners in the past, like my girlfriend,
00:52:20 she would have had partners in the past as well,
00:52:22 so they probably did things
00:52:23 that I probably wouldn't even think about doing,
00:52:24 but I know I had women in the past
00:52:26 who do some things that is like,
00:52:28 yo, eh, it's hotness out here, you understand?
00:52:33 So like, and then it comes down
00:52:35 to compromising your relationship,
00:52:37 like, you're going on, it's like--
00:52:38 - That would compromise.
00:52:39 - Like, you can make a choice,
00:52:42 like, this man could real jam, boy,
00:52:45 but everything else is (beep)
00:52:49 and now you gotta make a choice,
00:52:51 do I care for sex that much,
00:52:53 where it's like, yo, yeah, I will stay with this person
00:52:56 'cause he could real jam,
00:52:58 but keep in mind, in a couple of years,
00:53:00 this guy gonna die, don't (beep) my die.
00:53:03 Or you're going to somebody who real loving, caring,
00:53:06 but the sex kinda normal, like,
00:53:08 that is decisions you start to make as men and women.
00:53:10 - Do you know my life?
00:53:11 I don't understand, like, it's speaking to me.
00:53:14 - It's just some men who,
00:53:15 most men want to jam every day.
00:53:17 Like, most men don't mind jamming every day,
00:53:20 but it remains in women
00:53:23 that want to have sex every single day.
00:53:26 So you gotta make a choice,
00:53:27 like, do I want a woman who will give it to me every time,
00:53:30 or do I want a woman that will give me peace?
00:53:32 And that is a decision you have to make.
00:53:34 I prefer peace.
00:53:36 - I can, you have both.
00:53:37 - I can tell (beep) but I cannot tell peace.
00:53:40 (laughing)
00:53:42 I need peace, like, you know what I mean?
00:53:44 I just have a lot going on.
00:53:46 - Tell peace today.
00:53:47 - Yeah, I can't tell peace at night.
00:53:50 I just have plenty going on.
00:53:51 - You can get peace.
00:53:51 - I can get peace.
00:53:52 - You can get peace.
00:53:53 - I can get peace every day.
00:53:55 I can jam to women.
00:53:55 - But you mightn't feel at peace.
00:53:57 - Yeah, like, all right, you feel good
00:53:58 for however long the sex lasts,
00:54:01 then you're driving home like,
00:54:02 "Yeah, right now, jam this real weird for me."
00:54:05 - Dinah and Nestero, you're a partner,
00:54:06 but go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.
00:54:08 - Yeah.
00:54:08 - I want to present something, as you said, Adrien,
00:54:10 'cause we have, like I said, we have to wrap up,
00:54:12 and we haven't even gotten the part of,
00:54:14 you know, we told 'em, "Hold tight," and all that,
00:54:15 but can you finish the race in terms of,
00:54:17 it could be, you know, you have all these songs,
00:54:19 like, "Back in my day," with Patron and Lady So,
00:54:22 and Tanya Stevens, thinking, talking about one-minute man,
00:54:25 you know, and people again,
00:54:26 and I wanted to talk to this, Johansi,
00:54:28 about the presence of porn,
00:54:30 and what porn is doing to our society.
00:54:33 But, you know, I had a, like I was telling you guys,
00:54:35 I had a very deep conversation with a friend of mine,
00:54:38 and part of what he said, and I want,
00:54:40 and this is something to look at,
00:54:42 and I want us to talk about in another conversation
00:54:45 with manhood, when he spoke about ejaculation,
00:54:49 when someone feels, "Listen, I want to be a player,"
00:54:53 or you're masturbating, and you're doing these things,
00:54:56 the presence of what you consume, and what your body,
00:54:59 your sperm, is the finest, and the most powerful part
00:55:04 of a man, right?
00:55:07 Human nature, this is the ability to be able to procreate
00:55:11 and create life.
00:55:13 When you dispel of that, what you're doing,
00:55:17 if it is, your body is telling itself,
00:55:19 when it releases, "Hey, I am spreading my seed here."
00:55:24 If you're giving your body that on a regular basis,
00:55:27 and that's happening, and it's not happening
00:55:29 in the environment it's supposed to happen,
00:55:31 or it's not actually doing the function
00:55:33 it's supposed to do, as you start to get lazy,
00:55:36 you are now telling yourself in many ways, like,
00:55:38 "Hey, I'm a king, I can relax here."
00:55:40 And your body, basically what you're doing
00:55:42 is you start to weaken your body based on that,
00:55:46 as opposed to putting your body in a certain element
00:55:48 of survival mode, that when it comes to it,
00:55:50 and you actually are there to, say,
00:55:53 have that intercourse, that moment to procreate,
00:55:56 you're at your most powerful.
00:55:57 So you're actually doing yourself a disservice
00:56:00 by just, to quote my good friend here,
00:56:03 "Pelt a (beep)," as opposed to really--
00:56:05 - Don't have a seed, I get it.
00:56:06 (laughing)
00:56:07 To pelt a (beep)
00:56:08 Pelt a (beep)
00:56:10 - There's a whole deeper meaning into that,
00:56:12 but again, we don't have the time here today,
00:56:16 but I really want to hear your answers
00:56:18 take on the impact porn is having on our society now.
00:56:23 And your final thoughts, if you can use it in there as well,
00:56:28 to talk about why we simply can't handle the truth.
00:56:32 Like, if a woman really said,
00:56:34 "You know, it's small, but I'm willing to do this."
00:56:37 Why do we as a society place so much emphasis
00:56:42 on sexual prowess?
00:56:45 - Okay, one, Robert, I think we definitely need
00:56:48 to have our entire episode on sex and sexuality.
00:56:51 - Agreed, agreed.
00:56:52 - Two is--
00:56:53 - That's the next episode, actually.
00:56:54 - Two is porn, not even some scientific,
00:56:57 porn is a real dread thing, is a real dread thing,
00:57:00 because it actually creates a false reality
00:57:04 of what human sexuality is.
00:57:07 Human sexuality have no format,
00:57:09 but a porn would have a format.
00:57:11 Even if you have different categories of porn,
00:57:14 there's still some kind of format, right?
00:57:17 How I feel to have sex Monday could be different,
00:57:19 how I feel to have sex on Tuesday, right?
00:57:22 What I feel to do Tuesday morning
00:57:23 might be different from Tuesday evening.
00:57:25 Sex and human behavior is such a dynamic thing,
00:57:28 so porn puts you in a kind of category
00:57:31 where you think this experience
00:57:32 always have to be a certain way.
00:57:35 And when you think that, now we could think,
00:57:36 if it's not that way, then something wrong with me,
00:57:39 or something wrong with my partner.
00:57:41 If in a certain episode you watch,
00:57:43 the woman or the man reacts a certain way, right?
00:57:46 And it's not only a male thing,
00:57:47 not because many women watch porn also,
00:57:50 and so if a man didn't react a certain way
00:57:53 and do a certain thing,
00:57:54 it could mean something wrong with me,
00:57:56 or something wrong with him.
00:57:57 So I'm saying porn is a dread thing
00:57:59 because even I remember, even my own life,
00:58:03 when watching porn and then coming to the realization
00:58:06 of what sex is, I remember it was a stark difference,
00:58:09 and it didn't make sense to me at first
00:58:10 because I thought, well, you watch something,
00:58:12 and that's how it's supposed to be,
00:58:13 and I watch enough of it,
00:58:15 and I hear enough people talk about it,
00:58:17 then it's supposed to be this way.
00:58:19 But it's really not.
00:58:20 And it took a good while to even recondition my brain
00:58:24 to remember everybody different,
00:58:26 everyday different, I doing something different.
00:58:28 So I even encourage people, people who's watched porn,
00:58:32 I can't tell you whether watching porn right
00:58:34 or wrong for you, but understand that
00:58:36 that may not be the reality of how things are.
00:58:40 And then now if we in this fantasy world,
00:58:42 then now it brings up all these things.
00:58:45 So now in a relationship, you're thinking,
00:58:47 well, this person don't love me,
00:58:49 this person not reacting this to me,
00:58:51 you're lying to me about something,
00:58:52 you're horning me, et cetera, et cetera,
00:58:54 and it bring up all these dynamics in relationship
00:58:58 that really have nothing to do with the relationship.
00:59:02 So I'm saying, and then now we come with handling the truth.
00:59:06 You're handling the truth of what?
00:59:07 The truth you create in your mind
00:59:10 comes from something that not even real.
00:59:13 Right?
00:59:13 So when now the person say, well, you're a minute man,
00:59:18 sometimes sex is a minute.
00:59:20 If you understand what I'm saying,
00:59:20 sometimes sex is two minutes,
00:59:22 sometimes it can be a whole.
00:59:23 - Shefi, agree?
00:59:24 Sometimes sex is a minute?
00:59:25 - Yes, unfortunately for me.
00:59:29 - Right?
00:59:30 Sometimes it is what it is.
00:59:31 You and that person,
00:59:33 you don't even know the different things
00:59:36 if you're not honest with each other.
00:59:37 I can tell you that.
00:59:38 So it's like, sometimes I just want to be inside
00:59:42 and just don't move.
00:59:43 - Yeah.
00:59:44 - I just want to soak.
00:59:45 - You just want to feel it.
00:59:46 - Soak it in.
00:59:47 - You want to soak it.
00:59:47 - It's just like a spa,
00:59:48 just go in there and relax myself.
00:59:51 Right?
00:59:52 But that is somebody that's made me,
00:59:53 nah, you matter, you gotta be tinging
00:59:55 and you gotta be wherever it is.
00:59:57 So it's really based on,
00:59:59 can we handle the truth first?
01:00:01 We have to discover the truth of ourselves.
01:00:04 What it is you really like.
01:00:05 If it's porn you're watching,
01:00:07 you gotta tell the person,
01:00:08 "Well, I see this on porn."
01:00:10 So the person know where you're coming from.
01:00:12 If it is you talk with your girlfriends
01:00:13 or wherever it is,
01:00:14 "I hear this, this is what I really want."
01:00:16 To really just see the truth
01:00:18 about what it is you want.
01:00:20 - You know, something that is--
01:00:21 - Junior, I only say that
01:00:23 'cause I want him to finish his closing thoughts
01:00:24 'cause what you're about to say,
01:00:26 I want that to be your closing thoughts
01:00:27 as we have to, you know,
01:00:29 it comes up point that we have to,
01:00:31 you know, we have to disconnect.
01:00:32 - Oh.
01:00:33 - Stop being a...
01:00:34 (laughing)
01:00:36 - Yeah, yeah, that's my thoughts.
01:00:39 Is whether or not is based on,
01:00:44 let me go this,
01:00:44 can we handle the truth of ourselves first?
01:00:47 Before we starting to study
01:00:48 whether this person can handle it or not.
01:00:51 Sit down and really,
01:00:52 this is what I want in sex.
01:00:53 This is what I want in a relationship.
01:00:55 This is what I want in a platonic relationship.
01:00:57 Really, be honest with yourself first.
01:00:59 So now, when the person even asks why,
01:01:01 why does he leave the fridge open?
01:01:02 Why does whoever it is,
01:01:03 you already sit with yourself
01:01:05 so you can say,
01:01:06 "This is the reason why."
01:01:06 So the person could understand you.
01:01:09 Therefore, they can actually decide
01:01:11 whether I like,
01:01:11 I really want to be with this person
01:01:13 or don't want to be with this person.
01:01:15 - Yeah, makes sense.
01:01:17 No, I was just going to add to something.
01:01:18 You know what I'm saying?
01:01:19 - Let me hear your closing thoughts.
01:01:20 - Something that I realized,
01:01:22 like, off a point,
01:01:23 I used to think like,
01:01:25 all women want a man that lasts like an hour or so.
01:01:28 And that is far from the truth.
01:01:31 It's a woman who,
01:01:32 by 10 minutes down,
01:01:34 come off of me.
01:01:35 - That is a long time, though.
01:01:36 - Yeah, like five, 10 minutes,
01:01:37 like, come off of me now,
01:01:38 I ain't good, dude.
01:01:39 I ain't good.
01:01:40 So like, that is something I learned.
01:01:42 The big takeaway from that is,
01:01:46 everybody is different.
01:01:48 You need to learn the people that you're with
01:01:50 and learn yourself,
01:01:52 most importantly,
01:01:53 'cause as soon as you learn yourself,
01:01:54 it's easier to tell people who you are
01:01:57 and they will know how to treat with you.
01:01:59 'Cause if you don't know yourself,
01:02:00 you're going to be in a lot of back and out
01:02:02 because you'll be figuring out yourself
01:02:04 while trying to figure out somebody else.
01:02:05 So until you figure out yourself,
01:02:07 stay by yourself,
01:02:09 pelt her wrongs.
01:02:09 (laughing)
01:02:10 And leave people alone.
01:02:12 - Really, I love that.
01:02:13 You could actually learn yourself with somebody.
01:02:15 - Yeah, for sure.
01:02:16 - I agree.
01:02:17 - Two people open to the process,
01:02:18 or you could learn yourself with each other,
01:02:19 but if you know you can handle it,
01:02:20 yeah, then stay by yourself.
01:02:21 - Yeah, stay by yourself.
01:02:23 - I know that last part.
01:02:24 (laughing)
01:02:25 - I wanted to hear you say that.
01:02:26 - You don't want to pelt your piece away.
01:02:28 - So can women and women handle the truth?
01:02:33 At this point, yes and no for both genders.
01:02:37 It really just depends on you as a person
01:02:40 and whatever,
01:02:41 but I'm echoing what everyone else is saying
01:02:43 that you need to really understand yourself first
01:02:45 and what is your truth
01:02:46 before you expect to get the truth from your partner
01:02:50 or your friends or your family
01:02:51 or those closest to you.
01:02:53 And also being able to be receptive to the truth as well.
01:02:58 So you have to be able to be open to give any truth
01:03:00 and being open to receive any truth.
01:03:03 - Yeah.
01:03:03 - Well said.
01:03:05 So there it is, another conversation with manhood.
01:03:09 Can men and women handle the truth?
01:03:12 Feelings, compromise, breakups, sexual performance.
01:03:16 Sexual performance being a root
01:03:19 to a lot of why people behave the way they behave.
01:03:23 Whether it's spoken,
01:03:24 whether the truth is spoken
01:03:25 and what they believe the truth is,
01:03:26 what they believe someone else is thinking.
01:03:29 You have to know yourself.
01:03:31 You have to know yourself and live your truth.
01:03:33 What is your truth?
01:03:35 The opinions of others really don't matter
01:03:38 as long as you're grounded in where you're coming from.
01:03:41 Where opinions matter is when you're insecure
01:03:45 or you have reservations about whether or not
01:03:47 that is indeed your truth.
01:03:49 - That is the truth.
01:03:50 - And that is the truth.
01:03:53 When you start to look at that
01:03:54 it's because you're not grounded.
01:03:56 So decide what you want.
01:04:01 Decide what you want and let that be your truth.
01:04:04 Can men or women handle the truth?
01:04:06 I think there are areas where you can and you can't.
01:04:11 I simply would want the truth.
01:04:15 Whether I could handle it at that point or not,
01:04:18 you know what?
01:04:18 - You just take it, yes?
01:04:20 - I always remember this passage in the Bible
01:04:25 that starts off with, "This too shall pass."
01:04:32 And six o'clock in the morning will come
01:04:34 regardless of how you meet it.
01:04:36 So let that be your truth.
01:04:38 (upbeat music)
01:04:41 (upbeat music)
01:04:43 (upbeat music)
01:04:46 (upbeat music)
01:04:47 - Manhood brought to you by Jameson.
01:04:50 Natural sources since 1922 and Racetrack.