Why do so many of the world's best goalscorers unravel in the Premier League?
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00:00 Much to the chagrin, excellent word of fans of other divisions, the question "but can
00:08 he do it in the Premier League" remains a pertinent one.
00:11 While some of the game's greatest names have arrived in the division and thrived,
00:15 I'm thinking like Makaleli, Zlatan and… I did have another one… Ivan Kampo, he'll
00:21 do plenty other giants of world football have had an absolute nightmare here.
00:25 And of course, in no position is that more costly or indeed more funny than up front.
00:31 I'm Adam Cleary, this is 442 and these are 10 amazing strikers who completely flopped
00:37 in the Premier League.
00:38 10.
00:39 Jared Borghetti, Bolton For a player whose name sounds like a car,
00:42 Jared Borghetti was the proverbial Rolls Royce of a footballer.
00:46 He pitched up a Bolton in the twilight of a career that had made him a bigger Mexican
00:50 institution than those enormous hats you get with the nice little lace patterns on them.
00:54 He had scored absolutely loads of goals in his home country for Santos Laguna and became
00:59 one of the most feared strikers in all of South America.
01:02 However, under Sam Allardyce, he managed just two goals in 19 Premier League games, one
01:07 against Man City and the other against Charlton.
01:10 He was a lot better in the Cups, yes, but that's not what this list is about, is it?
01:14 Rules are rules.
01:15 9.
01:16 Roberto Saldardo, Tottenham Now, I'm sorry but I'm not having any comments
01:19 here for referring to Saldardo as a great striker, the lad had just barred 30 goals
01:24 in 46 appearances the previous season at Valencia and was genuinely being talked about as one
01:30 of the hottest commodities in Europe.
01:32 Now, you might not believe that, I might not even believe that, but it did happen, I was
01:36 there, people were saying it, and as well, in his defence, Spurs were a little bit all
01:40 over the place when he arrived, having just splurged all the Gareth Bale money on no less
01:44 than seven, count 'em, seven, highly rated new players.
01:48 So, seven Premier League goals in 52 games is, well, crap.
01:54 8.
01:55 Diego Forlan, Manchester United It tells you absolutely everything about what
01:58 a footballing monster truck Mourinho's Chelsea were that Man United had both Van Nistelrooy
02:04 and Forlan on their books for those first two Premier League wins and could not get
02:08 anywhere near them.
02:09 Unlike his Dutch team-mate, though, the Uruguayan's time in the Premier League was a famous damn
02:13 squib.
02:14 17 goals in 98 appearances, the first not coming until his 34th game, did little to
02:20 suggest that he would go on to, and let me just double check my notes here, ah yes, become
02:25 one of the most feared goal scorers in all of Europe.
02:29 155 goals in just seven years in La Liga, that is not the Diego Forlan you saw in the
02:35 Premier League.
02:36 Regardless, though, Man United fans still seem to love him on account of his two very
02:40 memorable strikes against Liverpool.
02:42 Proof once more that banter remains undefeated as the true measure of footballing success.
02:47 7.
02:51 Sergei Rebrov, Tottenham The £11m Ukrainian, then 25, had been one
02:56 half of what was arguably Europe's most devastating strike partnership.
03:00 Alongside Andrey Shevchenko and ho-ho-ho, more on him later, the duo had scored almost
03:06 200 goals between them in five seasons at Dynamo Kiev.
03:09 Recruited to become the prolific goal scorer that Spurs lacked, Rebrov ultimately struggled
03:14 to perform at anywhere near the same level, and was even overlooked for the 2002 League
03:18 Cup Final.
03:19 Don't get me wrong, there's no shame to getting benched behind Teddy Sheringham and
03:22 Les Ferdinand, they're two great players, but they had a combined age at the time of
03:27 70.
03:28 But you know, score 10 goals in two seasons and that's what you're gonna get.
03:32 6.
03:33 Gonzalo HiguaÃn, Chelsea Genuinely a sporting anomaly how so many strikers
03:36 can bang in goals for fun in almost any other league in the world, and then get to England
03:41 and look like some beige middle management type who's won a play on the pitch prize
03:45 in a company raffle.
03:47 Gonzalo HiguaÃn, par exemple, was almost one goal every two games at Real Madrid and
03:53 Juventus, one goal every game and a half at Napoli, and then got to Chelsea and looked
03:58 about as much use as tits on a kipper.
04:00 Five goals, the sum total of his loan spell in London, where afterwards he defended his
04:04 record by pointing out the club did win the Europa League while he was there.
04:08 And again, just let me check my notes here, ah yes, he played a grand total of 24 minutes
04:12 in that competition and did not even get off the bench in the final.
04:16 Worth a try.
04:18 5.
04:19 Claudio Pizarro, Chelsea Yeah, I'll just level with you now, the rest
04:22 of this list is mostly Chelsea.
04:24 The Peruvian all-star hit 100 goals for Bayern Munich to establish a reputation as one of
04:29 Germany and Europe's top marksmen, and his arrival at Chelsea on a free transfer no less
04:34 looked like a genius piece of business.
04:36 He started by missing a penalty in the Community Shield shootout against Manchester United
04:40 on his debut, and things did not improve much thereafter.
04:45 Pizarro notched just two goals in 21 matches before departing after one season.
04:50 A stint so short in fact that we as a fanbase didn't ever quite decide if it was Pizarro
04:56 or Pitzaro.
04:57 You'd think Piz, as there's only one Z so it's not like Pizza with two.
05:03 Right?
05:04 Pizarro?
05:05 Pizarro?
05:06 Pitharro?
05:07 What was I talking about?
05:10 4.
05:11 Radamel Falcao, Manchester United Easily, without question, one of the most
05:14 complete centre-forwards in world football while at both Porto and Atletico Madrid, Falcao
05:20 made cheese strings out of his anterior cruciate ligaments at Monaco, but his £6m loan to
05:25 Man United still felt like really good business.
05:28 Nope, just four goals all season for Louis van Gaal's men and that was the end of his
05:33 time in England.
05:35 Except wait, no it wasn't, because…
05:37 4.
05:38 Again, Radamel Falcao, Chelsea Never a team you can accuse of letting their
05:42 rivals hog the money-wasting spotlight, Chelsea seemingly took it as a personal challenge
05:48 to somehow out-farce this farce and brought him in the following season.
05:52 One goal in all competitions.
05:55 Round of applause for everyone involved, please.
05:57 3.
05:58 Crespo, you guessed it, Chelsea Now yes, ok, a glance at Crespo's goals
06:02 per game record in the Premier League suggests that maybe the flop tag is somewhat harsh
06:06 in this case, he did net 20 times in 49 games, but according to the three Chelsea fans I
06:12 know and I swear have asked, the former Parma, Lazio and Inter Sharpshooter just never really
06:18 convinced at Stamford Bridge.
06:19 10 goals in both seasons just felt like a massive letdown given how good he clearly
06:24 was and could have been, and neither Ranieri nor Mourinho ever quite managed to extract
06:29 a proper tune out of him.
06:30 2.
06:31 Fernando Morientes, Chelsea Oh no, it's Liverpool.
06:33 Oh, you know what, this one broke my heart.
06:35 Liverpool appeared to have snared one of the deals of the century when they got Morientes
06:39 still only 28 for 6.3 million.
06:43 He wasn't getting minutes at Madrid, but being behind Ronaldo, Raul and Michael Owen
06:47 in the pecking order hardly made that a red flag.
06:49 But not only was it a red flag, it was a Reds flag.
06:53 Because they're the Reds.
06:55 It does, that joke does sort of work.
06:58 The three-time Champions League winner showed flashes of his talent at Anfield but ultimately
07:01 found neither form nor fitness.
07:04 A meagre 12 goals in 60 appearances followed and the Reds loaned him back out to Valencia
07:09 after just 18 months.
07:10 Anyway, here's a pitch for any HBO types watching, get a biopic in the works and have
07:14 Pedro Pascal play him.
07:15 Look at them side by sides.
07:17 You can see it, can't you?
07:18 1.
07:19 Shevchenko Chelsea For a while, Shevchenko was basically the
07:23 Michael Jordan of football.
07:25 But at Chelsea though, he was the Michael Jordan of expensive footballing misadventure.
07:31 A then British record fee of £30.8 million in 2006 yielded a meagre 9 Premier League
07:37 goals in his three years at the club.
07:40 The problem was he was less a shrewd bit of transfer business and more… how can I put
07:45 this without winding up on some sort of hit list?
07:47 A gift, a lovely, generous goal scoring gift from Roman Abramovich to Jose Mourinho despite
07:56 Chelsea having no issue scoring goals and them just coming off the back of consecutive
08:01 Premier League title wins.
08:03 If you think about it, it's sort of like buying somebody a really nice expensive beard
08:07 trimmer for Christmas after they've already accidentally cut their own head off with their
08:11 Gillette Mach 3.
08:13 So it like, it fits their interests.
08:15 Yes, just not their circumstances.