Manhood Episode 15
Manhood Episode 15
Transcript
00:00 Manhood. Manhood. Brought to you
00:05 by Jamison. Natural sources
00:07 since 1922 and Racetrack.
00:11 Thank you for joining us once
00:17 again on Manhood. The
00:18 conversations that we've been
00:19 having for quite a few months
00:21 now and we believe it's been
00:23 rather impacting. Mm hmm. The
00:24 whole premise has always been
00:27 talking to everyone, talking to
00:29 men, everyone about how they're
00:32 showing up in life. We're
00:33 better as brothers. This is
00:34 manhood. So, today's topic,
00:37 we're talking about sexual
00:39 myths, sexual prowess. Over the
00:41 period, we've been very
00:42 fortunate to talk to many, many
00:45 young men, many women have
00:47 been, we've been blessed to
00:48 have on the panel to give us a
00:50 real perspective, you know, as
00:52 to, as to how we're showing up,
00:54 you know, the insecurities that
00:56 we have, the, the violence, the
00:58 cause of violence for many, for
01:02 many a topic, you know, we've
01:03 had, we've spoke about domestic
01:05 violence, mansplaining, toxic
01:07 masculinity, masculine energy,
01:09 can women and men handle the
01:11 truth? A lot, a lot of really
01:13 solid topics but the elephant in
01:14 the room has always been a lot
01:16 of the underlying cause has
01:18 been sex. You know, that, that,
01:20 that's the root of a lot of
01:21 insecurities, the root of a lot
01:23 of, you know, violent
01:24 encounters, issues, divorce,
01:28 it's all always somehow centered
01:30 around sex. So today we want to
01:32 specifically talk about sexual
01:34 prowess and sexual myths, more
01:37 importantly, like porn, like
01:39 being a marathon man, you know,
01:41 going for hours, you know, the
01:43 horn a man, are you thinking of
01:44 our women thinking about the
01:46 man, a man thinking about the
01:47 woman or a man or woman
01:49 thinking about a woman, whatever
01:51 is your preference. The fact is
01:52 sex is normally the root of most
01:56 of these issues and we need to
01:58 move on from that and get
01:59 clarification. So, Johansi,
02:02 always a pleasure. Jamie Artis
02:05 and Nile, always a pleasure
02:07 having you on the panel and I
02:10 just want to say to everyone
02:11 out there, rated PG, rated R.
02:16 We're going to, we're going to
02:17 be bleeping out as much as we
02:19 can. A little bit between PG,
02:20 PG13 and R. And yeah, so, the
02:24 topic is the topic. That's the
02:25 main thing. We're going to be
02:27 having the same conversations
02:29 that that that everyone's
02:30 having and in order to meet
02:32 people where they're at, we
02:33 have to be where they're at.
02:34 True. We have to speak the
02:36 language where they're at.
02:37 Very true. And we're going to
02:38 do as much as possible and try
02:40 as best as possible to keep it
02:42 the toady line. The toady line.
02:44 But in toing the line, we have
02:46 to talk the things. Okay. So,
02:48 let's get straight into it.
02:49 Sexual prowess, sexual myths. A
02:52 lot in there, like I said, we
02:53 want to cover topics of, you
02:55 know, gender matter, a woman's
02:57 number, when women tell you
02:59 that we start with the size
03:01 matter, right? So, I will say
03:03 yes. To start what? Yeah, I
03:05 say, I say yes. Size matter.
03:07 Not only the size of the man
03:09 but the size of the woman also
03:11 in terms of the channel that
03:13 he's going into. Okay. Cuz
03:14 women are different sizes. So,
03:16 a man could be, I think what
03:18 average is about six inches.
03:19 I think that's average. Six and
03:20 a half. Six and a half, right?
03:22 I don't know which part of the
03:23 world that is but let me just
03:24 say that. But women also are
03:27 different sizes. So, it I think
03:29 the size matters. Which no one
03:31 is talk about. Nobody's talk
03:33 about, you know, diving into
03:35 the vacuum of space. Right.
03:37 Sometimes. That's neither
03:38 started. Neither out the blocks.
03:41 But let's bring it back to
03:42 Kamasutra. So, Kamasutra part
03:45 of that belief is like you said,
03:46 a day for a day, an elephant
03:48 for an elephant, a horse for a
03:49 horse. And that's based on the
03:51 size of the man versus the size
03:53 of the woman. But as we've seen
03:55 even even in some, you know,
03:57 I've heard in watching porn,
03:59 I've heard about it. Um that
04:02 you know, it's it's it's really
04:04 down to your experience, your
04:07 moment, you know, so you you
04:09 see a It's not a technique.
04:12 It's not a technique because
04:13 regardless of what size you're
04:15 rocking, male or female, I
04:17 think that once you have a
04:19 understanding of the the
04:21 relationship, you can actually
04:23 have a good time. And and
04:25 actually, well, yeah, four
04:26 play, four plays, important.
04:28 I felt like she's rushing it.
04:31 Four play. Mm hmm. Right.
04:33 Right. Four play all day. You
04:35 just slam bam. Thank you, man.
04:36 Four plays actually come from
04:37 you wanting to have the person
04:39 to have a good time. Most times
04:41 when I'll take it, I'll take
04:45 men, we do a lot. Sometimes
04:47 it's just, oh, do you want to
04:48 focus on us? Yes. Maybe real.
04:50 But if you put a little time
04:51 into a woman, trust me, it
04:53 will, it will pay off in the
04:54 end, you know? Um but once you
04:57 understand the anatomy and you
04:58 actually want to put a little
04:59 effort in trying to make sure
05:01 that your partner is having a
05:02 good time, size does not matter
05:04 at that point because people
05:06 always have a good time. Okay.
05:08 Okay. I I hear you with that
05:10 because if you really care
05:11 what the person, both male and
05:12 female together, if you care
05:14 what the person is specifically
05:15 as in, you're not just, you
05:17 don't have a format in your
05:18 mind that sex supposed to be
05:19 this every single time with
05:20 every single woman or man.
05:21 Because you care about what
05:22 they think, how they feel, even
05:24 in the center of the room,
05:25 etcetera, etcetera. Then, size
05:28 may matter less or size, you're
05:29 saying size may not matter at
05:31 all. I feel that, you know, a
05:33 woman might like, you know, a
05:35 frankfurter generally but if
05:37 you come with a, if you come
05:39 with a Vienna sausage but you
05:41 really love you, it wouldn't
05:43 matter. Like she will still
05:44 rock with it. Nah, that, it
05:45 won't matter bro. Yeah, yeah.
05:48 It won't matter. No, but we're
05:50 going to do it. Love him.
05:54 Sorry. So, let's let's let's
05:59 let's bring it back to because
06:01 you you what we are what we
06:03 always try to do on these shows
06:04 is we try to reach people where
06:05 they are. Yeah, yeah. Right?
06:07 And biologically, what you have
06:08 is what you have. Unless you're
06:09 going for some sort of
06:10 enhancement. Women do it. Women
06:11 go and get butts, they get
06:13 boobs, they do different things,
06:14 right? Men also go and do these
06:18 or pop a pill. Yeah. Pop a pill
06:20 or whatever they do, right? But
06:21 what it comes down to is what
06:23 I'm asking is men place a lot
06:26 of emphasis on the size and
06:28 their whole bravado. You know,
06:29 you see men have a certain walk
06:30 and a certain flex. You know, if
06:32 they feel that they they they
06:34 they rock in something but is
06:35 that is that does that make it
06:37 appealing for a woman who's
06:38 looking for something maybe
06:39 longer term or ultimately, if
06:41 you're a six and a half or ten
06:43 or or even if you have a four in
06:46 in that connection, what is
06:48 what is really more important to
06:50 a woman and what are we really
06:51 trying to communicate to men out
06:52 there who biologically have what
06:54 they have? Um I would say women
06:57 don't really like the peacocking,
06:58 you know, you're walking around
06:59 and you're like, yeah, my thing
07:01 big, my thing big. We don't like
07:03 that but if you're going to know
07:05 somebody in the early stages and
07:07 you're conversing and then, you
07:09 know, you want to talk about
07:10 sexual things that it happens at
07:13 a certain point in conversing and
07:15 courting or whatever, right?
07:17 You would want to get a little,
07:19 you know, a little thing to play
07:21 with your mind like, let me see
07:24 how long it is. You know what I
07:25 mean? Show me on this banana or
07:27 something. You know, because when
07:28 you go home to sleep, you want
07:30 to be like, oh my gosh, when I
07:32 get it, it's going to feel so
07:33 bad. You know what I mean? So,
07:35 I, I, you know, like I, I, yeah,
07:39 yeah, I don't think that's a
07:41 thing that women need. Well,
07:43 but I want, I want to bring
07:45 because again, I want to make
07:46 sure this is a very powerful
07:47 topic and I want to make sure
07:49 that that that context is
07:50 brought it. So, Johansi, where
07:52 does that, is it, is it the
07:54 advent more of social media, the
07:56 advent of maybe porn and so on
07:58 that that gets people thinking
07:59 more along those lines as
08:01 opposed to, to you know, where
08:04 where is this emphasis really?
08:06 Where does it come from that is
08:08 placed on your, your genitalia?
08:14 That's an interesting question
08:16 because you mentioned Kama
08:18 Sutra before, right? And so, in
08:22 in university, I remember doing
08:24 an abnormal psychology class,
08:25 right? And then recently, I'm
08:27 also studying forensic
08:28 psychology, which is dealing
08:30 with abnormalities, abnormal
08:31 deviant behavior, etcetera. And
08:33 most of these myths, right?
08:35 Myths. Myths. Myths. Are Western
08:38 society things, eh? Because the
08:41 Kama Sutra in fact, it in in
08:43 fact, kind of speaks about it
08:45 don't matter size and all those
08:46 things. It matter what
08:47 compatibility, energy,
08:49 understanding each other. So,
08:51 so there's no bravado walking
08:52 around who penis bigger, who,
08:54 who tighter, who anything like
08:56 that. That's a Western society
08:58 thing. So, if making that
09:00 delineation from the start, then
09:02 now, I think of course, if it's
09:04 a Western society thing, then of
09:06 course, it will be embedded in
09:07 different things in the culture.
09:08 So, songs we sing in, magazines,
09:11 porn by extension, now, and
09:14 really, of course, reinforced
09:16 that way. And what I've learned,
09:18 one, from personal experience,
09:20 and especially from, from being
09:22 married and being in long-term
09:23 relationships, that maybe about
09:26 90% of these things that you
09:28 learn that's supposed to be what
09:30 sex supposed to be, really
09:32 correct. And then from having
09:34 couples counseling and talking to
09:36 couples and friends,
09:37 relationship, etc. A lot of it
09:39 are mostly myths. And then I
09:41 used to look at in the abnormal
09:43 psychology days, I used to look
09:45 at a lot of interviews with porn
09:47 stars, right? Both male and
09:49 females. And they will tell you
09:50 is myths also. Because a lot of
09:52 it, you gotta take one, take
09:54 two, take three, they really
09:55 don't last that long. Some that
09:57 take two pills in between to, to,
09:59 to stay, to stay hard.
10:01 - And they're fluffer, they have
10:02 a glue, all these different
10:03 things that are to make it look
10:04 like it's a, a lagli type thing,
10:06 to, to look as if they've
10:08 experienced, you know, they,
10:09 they've done a lot.
10:10 - The women have to use so much
10:11 lubrication because they're not
10:12 doing it anymore. So what we
10:14 think is real is really still a
10:16 performance. And that's, that's
10:18 not real.
10:19 - Just to bring this one into
10:21 context, we come back to, does
10:23 size matter? And where it comes
10:26 from is, is almost like you said,
10:28 an illusion. It comes down to,
10:29 is the person having a good time?
10:31 Because you have one of the other
10:33 parts that we want to discuss is
10:34 when men, when men think they
10:37 know what women are thinking, and
10:39 women sometimes vice versa. But
10:41 you know, a man might think, you
10:42 know, we use the term, I will
10:43 mash up that girl last night,
10:45 boy. And the woman's probably
10:47 thinking, no, you know, buddy,
10:49 you know, I've had, I've, I've,
10:51 I've had, I've had children. So
10:53 it really comes down to whether
10:54 or not I'm enjoying you or not,
10:56 as to whether I could
10:57 accommodate you. Right? And in
11:00 that perspective, is it, why do
11:02 men place so much emphasis on
11:05 wanting to rough her up and
11:07 wanting to, you know, do damage
11:09 and mash up? Is it really about
11:12 the connection? Is it really
11:13 about that moment? Or is it
11:15 something more psychological? Is
11:18 what I'm trying to get an
11:19 understanding of as to why we
11:22 have this, this almost aggression
11:24 towards sex. And is it that porn
11:26 is really giving us, it's very
11:29 damaging. It's psychological
11:31 because even the last
11:32 conversation we had about ego
11:35 and the desired effect somebody
11:38 want, if they're not getting the
11:39 effect they want, then they would
11:41 go in a little more aggressive.
11:43 We weren't specifically talking
11:44 about sex, but we were
11:45 generalizing. So, but if we're
11:47 talking about psyche, that means
11:49 it will manifest itself in
11:51 different aspects of your
11:52 behavior. So if it is, you grew
11:55 up seeing porn and a woman
11:57 supposed to react a certain way
11:58 or based on the performance we
12:00 see in the woman reacting a
12:01 certain way, then that's a schema
12:03 that will come in your mind. So
12:04 if the woman is not reacting that
12:06 way, then either you doing
12:07 something wrong or she doing
12:09 something wrong. So it's not even
12:10 about the connection anymore. It's
12:12 about recreating a scenario in
12:14 your mind that you saw that you
12:16 even her, she probably doing the
12:18 same thing, forcing something.
12:20 - So are you talking about more
12:21 than just the porn? I'm talking
12:23 about, is it in his psyche that
12:25 that that that if if I if I go
12:28 by Jamie and I I I in my mind,
12:31 I'm like, hey, I want to I want
12:33 to real handle what is what might
12:35 be considered my business. Is it
12:37 that I'm leaving there not even
12:39 speak thinking about so much the
12:40 moment, but I want I am more
12:42 concerned in what she's left
12:44 thinking. Has she, is she
12:45 thinking I am the best? I was the
12:47 best that she had. You know, like
12:49 you hear sometimes with the
12:50 man that the man himself is not
12:53 even thinking about the woman as
12:54 he's doing it. He's thinking about
12:56 the man, the husband or the
12:58 boyfriend or something like, like
13:00 I had a handle his business. So
13:02 all she has is me on her brain.
13:05 So it's almost like you spread it.
13:07 You need to spread. You spread your
13:09 seed, you're spreading your mental
13:10 image. You want it to be embedded
13:12 into her brain that that you
13:14 somehow somehow the king.
13:15 - But that's egotistical. That's
13:16 back to what I was saying earlier
13:18 with most men that go into
13:20 situations for themselves. Does
13:22 we, it's almost like we
13:24 (beep) with a woman. Really and
13:26 truly, right? We just want to, we
13:29 want to feel good mentally and
13:31 physically. It's all for us. It's
13:33 a, it's a illusion that we do in
13:35 to cloud what, what we see is
13:37 happening. We, we, we claim that
13:40 is it is to make the woman feel
13:42 better because I will make, but
13:44 seeing that mentally to ourselves
13:46 is making us feel better in reality.
13:48 And it's not about that. No, as,
13:51 as, as me being on the coin of
13:54 being the one a man already is less
13:56 about just jamming hard, right? Is
13:59 actually, I actually don't want to
14:02 punish or bruise at all. Right? I
14:05 actually want to be comfort because
14:07 I realized is that most women who
14:10 take the opportunity to step out
14:13 in a relationship, they try and
14:15 find solace within, you know, they
14:17 try to find, they try to find a
14:19 friend really and truly. Right. And
14:22 they're looking for the look, the
14:24 heights, right? They still want to
14:27 jam. Right. But the, the, the, the
14:31 horn with the heart instead of the
14:33 body. Most women sworn with the
14:35 heart instead of the body. Yes. So
14:38 they want the man, they still want
14:41 the, the, the rough up, so to
14:43 speak, but they don't want me. I
14:46 can't be in my ego with the rough up
14:49 the, the, I have to be really be doing
14:52 it for her. I disagree with you, you
14:55 know, because rough up doesn't equate
14:58 ego to me. Ego is ego in your mind
15:01 because you could be smooth as silk
15:04 and real sensual, but it's still not
15:06 about her. It's still about you making
15:09 your mark. It's still about you, you
15:11 showing that I the best man you ever
15:14 had, but you not thinking about a
15:16 woman at all now. So I think it's
15:18 really the mindset, the mindset you're
15:21 coming from. And so I agree with you
15:23 that not all men, some men, and it's
15:27 because, let me go back. We have said
15:29 this before. A lot of us men walk around
15:31 with low self-esteem. Real plenty of us.
15:34 So therefore a lot of this could be
15:36 born out of low self-esteem. I could
15:39 even tell you personally, I remember as
15:41 a youth coming up, I reading up books
15:44 and thinking how to please a woman, all
15:46 of those things. But thinking about it,
15:49 it wasn't necessarily about her. It was
15:51 about me wanting to feel good about
15:53 myself. Right? It's about me. So when she
15:56 go and talk to somebody or let's say
15:58 she'd even talk to somebody, the reaction
16:00 I want to get, that was about me. Right?
16:03 It's only later on when, when I was, got
16:05 a little more mature and more along
16:07 this relationship and in marriage and
16:09 things like that, I realized then, okay,
16:11 that's a whole different mindset. But it
16:13 took her even a while and I would even
16:15 say still even, even knowing because
16:17 somebody is still creeping, now re-evaluating
16:20 it's really not about me, it's about us.
16:23 Yeah. When she's talking to her
16:25 girlfriends, you want her to be saying,
16:27 "Hey, that man is a man." And again, it's
16:30 a, I like, I like how we put, put this
16:33 into context. We need to take a short
16:34 break. But the context is, the, the people
16:38 that are going around with low self-esteem,
16:40 are we acting like that? Or is it coming
16:42 from a place of lowest self-esteem where
16:44 we want to make our mark? Is that really
16:46 where we want to be making our mark? The
16:49 mark is in, in, in sexual, sexual
16:52 intercourse? So the, what we really want
16:55 to come back and talk about now then is
16:57 we're going from another area of low
16:59 self-esteem or importance to a man,
17:01 apart from does size matter in, in
17:03 reference to a woman? Does the number a
17:06 woman has had matter? Take a short break.
17:12 [Music]
17:23 So thank you for staying with us for
17:25 this conversation. Again, just a reminder,
17:28 it's PGN2R. We're keeping it as sensitive
17:31 as possible, but it's important that we
17:33 have this conversation because at the
17:35 root of many of the issues that we've
17:38 spoken about across manhood, and even in
17:41 general, always come down to sex and the
17:43 many variations and areas that might be
17:45 deep-seated around that subject. So we
17:48 spoke about lowest, low self-esteem that
17:50 leads to this need for a man to make his
17:53 mark, whatever that is, and how they then
17:56 behave and why they do certain things.
17:58 Why do they want to be the horn of man?
18:00 Why do they want to, to behave in a
18:03 certain way in the bedroom? And as Niall
18:05 intimated and also, you know, vocalized
18:09 very clearly, that, that whole thing about
18:11 is it ultimately about us? All this
18:14 self-pleasure, even when we're with a
18:16 woman, are we still about us at that
18:19 particular point? You know, you hear men
18:21 sometimes say, "Oh no, I want to make sure
18:23 that she, she c**ks before I do." We could
18:26 say that, and yeah, we, I think we could
18:28 say that, yeah, but it's, it was said, so
18:30 if anything we have to beep that out. But,
18:32 and, but that then, bottom line still
18:35 comes back down to the ego to say, "I
18:38 want her to remember me." You know, I'm not
18:40 really that interested in how much she's
18:42 pleasured, it's, "I wanted to know that I
18:45 was the man, I was the Don Juan, the Marco."
18:47 Or, "I want, I have a picture of what sex
18:51 supposed to be." So, it may not even fit for
18:53 her to remember me, you know, "I want to
18:55 feel good that she reacts a certain way."
18:57 Right. So, it doesn't really matter even if she
18:59 remembers me, it happened the way I wanted,
19:01 so I good. Yes. This is the picture I had
19:03 painted, and this is how it's been
19:05 displayed, and it came to terms, you know,
19:06 I've seen it in the art gallery as, as
19:09 was, you know, so you know, sometimes
19:10 they say, "Don't meet your heroes." Well, in
19:12 this case, everything rolled out the way I
19:15 thought it was going to be rolled out, at
19:16 least in your mind. So, we come back down
19:18 to one of the other questions where we
19:20 spoke about, do men, are men really
19:24 accurate in what they think women are
19:27 really thinking? And one of the biggest
19:29 conversations around that is when we ask
19:31 a woman, "What's her number?" So, we asked
19:34 does size matter? Now we're asking, "What
19:37 really goes on in a woman's mind, or the
19:39 conversation surrounding the why as well,
19:42 why men even ask it in the first place
19:44 about a woman's number?" Okay, so we all
19:50 know that there are double standards
19:53 when it comes to women's sexuality and
19:56 men's sexuality. If a man has sex with
20:00 like 25 women, it's like, "Damn, you're real.
20:03 You're not done." And if a woman says, "Well, I
20:07 went with 50," man is like, "Bruh, you, you,
20:11 you're dying." So, excluding that, for me,
20:20 when a man asks, "What's your number?
20:23 How many men you had sex with?"
20:25 or whatever, and I return the question,
20:28 it's like, "Bruh, why you want to know that for?
20:30 Why you want to know that for?"
20:32 Men, majority men, really react that way
20:35 when you ask them that question? Yeah, yeah.
20:37 Because, because it's like, they would
20:40 prefer to have a virgin, you know, they
20:42 would prefer to have a woman who had
20:44 like one, one man in she life, and they
20:48 would be quick to like wife them or want
20:50 to wife them. But a woman wouldn't want a
20:53 man who's a virgin. That's true for you?
20:57 Yeah, because he don't know what he's
21:00 doing. I mean, really, he don't know what
21:03 he's doing. Right. Right? Okay. No, go ahead,
21:07 go ahead, interject. That actually comes
21:09 back down to the same thing that we're
21:10 talking about, as in, a man want to be the
21:14 one to teach. Yeah. To be like, you know,
21:17 in other words, I'm in competition with
21:19 the two men that you probably was with
21:21 before me, mentally. Yeah. I need to know
21:25 that I am better than those two. Again,
21:28 going back to the ego of what men do. So,
21:30 pause there. So, you're saying, based on
21:33 what I'm getting, is that the reason men
21:37 ask or are going to be upset by the
21:39 answer, if it is that they feel they
21:42 underperform. But if you say, if you went
21:46 with twenty women or twenty men, sorry.
21:49 Well, in your case, when you said fifty,
21:51 and you went fifty man, he knows, okay,
21:53 well, I am bigger than them, I last longer
21:55 than them, and I am, I am ultimately the
21:57 champion. Then it's okay? Is that what we
22:00 say? No. I feel it might be better. In
22:02 other words, I see what you're asking.
22:04 In other words, if she says, yo, I was with
22:06 fifty men and you were the best. Mm hmm. I
22:09 think her man could take that.
22:12 So, you're already concerned whether it
22:16 was your partner, whether it was your
22:18 brother, whether it was, you know, a
22:21 celebrity, it comes down to, was I the
22:24 best? Yes. And as long as you were the
22:26 best, it's okay? Is that what you're saying?
22:29 Let me add, me personally, why I would
22:32 have wanted to know that is, is how it
22:35 happened versus how many. So, if you're
22:38 in relationships, like if you had a
22:40 boyfriend before and you all had sex, I
22:42 mean, you all were in a relationship. But
22:44 if it was like one night stands. So, for
22:47 me, I wouldn't want to go around, men say,
22:50 I ****ed that man's wife in the bathroom
22:52 some years ago, you know, right? Not that
22:54 when we were married, but see, nothing
22:57 still going on. I, I, I hit, he yelled in
23:00 a kind of outfit, things like that. That
23:02 would be my personally, my concern more
23:04 than necessarily the number. The
23:06 reputation. Yeah, the reputation of it.
23:08 Because I was also add to my reputation.
23:10 Which I mean, could be my ego also but I
23:13 been honest, honest with that. And is there
23:15 any video footage? You know, people taking
23:16 pictures, etc. All that. If you have a
23:18 certain personality that could come out
23:20 later, you have children. Yeah. And all of
23:22 a sudden, something can surface. A sex
23:24 tape, something can surface. And you're
23:26 more interested at that point in that
23:28 background, whether she was a loose goose.
23:30 But it come, but a lot of it then comes
23:32 down to as, as Jamie started off, you
23:35 know, a man goes with twenty-five women,
23:37 you know, a stud. A woman goes with a
23:39 particular number, whatever is your
23:41 perceived number. Because your number
23:43 might be okay to, to Johans's number.
23:45 Exactly. So, it, it is, it is all
23:47 preference. Yes. And in that case, that
23:49 woman is then perceived as a **** or ****.
23:52 I guess, I guess that's how you were
23:54 raised. You know, or you have some daddy
23:56 issues. It, it, it, but a man, a woman,
23:59 a man, a man to a man doesn't ask that
24:01 question or think that. And a woman to a
24:03 man doesn't, you know, doesn't feel that
24:06 way. But I honestly think it's a
24:07 generational thing, yeah? Because I've
24:10 been conversing with a young guy. Yeah.
24:12 And it's like, it, it, it's cool. It's
24:15 cool for a woman to have how much amount
24:18 of men? Like sexual partners in terms of
24:20 men, right? And the thing is, they. Jamie,
24:26 let me pause you there. You see, you see.
24:28 Yeah. Let me tell you something. You see
24:30 courting. Yeah. When someone's courting
24:32 and it's another part of the, the topic
24:34 that we want to discuss today. When
24:36 somebody's courting, you say or accept a
24:39 lot. Because at that point, there's no
24:42 deep connection. Right. Right. So, in
24:44 other words, he's doing anything to, to
24:45 get. It's okay. You know, even if you
24:47 don't, you, you find it more with the
24:48 gen Z's where the numbers and so on. It
24:50 doesn't matter. Doesn't really matter.
24:52 But in general, somebody's having a
24:54 conversation. You say, yeah, I've slept
24:55 with so and so. I did this, I did that.
24:57 It's like, hey, you, you, you focus. You
24:59 just, you haven't gotten there yet. You
25:01 have no, no, no, no deep feelings as yet.
25:03 Yeah. When those feelings and so on
25:05 start to come in. All of a sudden, you
25:07 might be concerned about the partner. Yeah.
25:10 And what she did because now, there's
25:12 more than ego in, in, in stake here. You
25:14 want to know that, am I your best? Because
25:16 I'm not with you. And I want to know that
25:18 you're not thinking about Harry. Yeah. Or
25:20 Jeremy or whoever it is while. But for
25:24 me. If you can't perform. My reason for
25:26 asking Amanda is to make sure that it was,
25:32 I think sex is a spiritual thing as well
25:35 as physical. And I don't want to be with
25:39 a man that have so much. It's like
25:41 exchange of souls. Spirit. Yes. Soul
25:44 ties. Soul ties. So I don't want to be
25:47 confused and, and I don't know how I feel
25:50 and all kind of thing because of the
25:51 exchange of whoever energy that person
25:55 them people that he was with has. I don't
25:58 want to get that now. So I would ask Amanda
26:01 for that reason. And then I would know,
26:04 okay, I could continue on to see a
26:06 potential relationship with this man or
26:08 not. I personally don't want a man who
26:11 have. A hundred. A hundred fifty. I don't
26:15 want that. But does the number matter?
26:17 It matters to me. Because when you talk about soul
26:18 ties, it's a matter of who that person,
26:21 that man slept with a woman who slept with
26:23 another man who slept with another woman.
26:25 And it goes on and on. So in other words,
26:27 if you slept with a man, slept with a man
26:29 who had a hundred women, or you slept
26:31 with a man who had two, the connections
26:34 of soul ties there could still be the
26:36 same. It could be. But that's why we had
26:39 to talk about with sexual history. So
26:42 that many less number of course still,
26:44 still would be preferable. To be honest,
26:47 I'll tell you my personal opinion. I, for
26:49 me, the less sexual partners, even, even
26:51 for myself, because I understand what
26:53 you're saying about just going around
26:56 and f***ing around the place. I have, I
26:59 have friends who have had, let me say, more
27:02 than 50 partners and friends who have had
27:05 less. Male and female. Let's go with males
27:08 first, right? And that, that's soul tie.
27:12 That's a real thing now. Yes. Because for
27:15 a lot of the men, it is really f***ing them
27:18 up. Mm-hmm. Real bad, right? And, and I
27:22 could see where they are now searching
27:25 for something because bonding, the bonding
27:28 between a man and a wife, the, the
27:31 likelihood of the bond happening, it
27:34 reduces the more sexual partners you
27:36 have, right? And I remember a time a
27:39 partner tried to tell me, well, if you wear
27:40 a condom, then really, the soul really
27:43 ties up, right? But I mean, we're talking
27:45 about a soul tie, it's more emotional,
27:47 it's because it wasn't. It can't come through the plastic. Right.
27:50 Right. Latex. Right. So, I mean, there are
27:54 stereotypes, we could say it's a personal
27:56 preference, but here in these things, I
27:59 realize sometimes you really have to be
28:00 honest with yourself. Mm-hmm. We have all
28:02 these euphemisms and these myths and
28:04 whoever it is, to brass that, I honestly
28:08 think I could be wrong, but I think each
28:10 person really want, really could be, want
28:13 to be each other's first or at least they
28:14 don't want to be with somebody who been
28:16 with a lot of people. If you had a one
28:18 relationship before and it was a long-term
28:20 relationship, I mean, you would have sex
28:21 with the person. Mm-hmm. But the, the, the
28:24 plural and the multitude of partners, to be
28:26 honest, I don't think anybody really want
28:28 a partner with many partners. No. You don't.
28:30 I mean, but there are people, but like you
28:31 said with Jamie, where she said, a woman
28:34 mightn't want a man who is inexperienced.
28:37 Mm-hmm. Right? But then you have people
28:39 who, a man who's had maybe several women
28:41 and then you still find a woman who goes,
28:43 he don't know how to, he don't know how to
28:45 handle the business. He's hot. He don't know
28:46 that he's hot. Exactly. Because again, it's
28:48 understanding that language and then you
28:50 have to communicate to be able to say, hey,
28:52 whether a man might be selfish innately,
28:54 to be able to say to him, listen, I want
28:57 foreplay, I want cuddling, I want these
28:59 different things or you're not really
29:01 doing it right. But you may be holding
29:03 back, he may be thinking he's performing
29:05 and doing, doing what he has to, which is
29:07 why you then have people who fake orgasms.
29:09 Mm-hmm. And all of these things come up,
29:11 come up, come as a result of lack of
29:13 communication. Yes. Or being afraid to
29:16 hurt feelings, which is, which is, you
29:18 know, a segment, I mean, a, a conversation
29:20 we've had in the past where we are not
29:22 open with regards to our feelings. But I
29:24 still want to come down to why do, why is
29:30 it the information, if asked, one, why do
29:33 we ask and two, the information that's
29:35 forthcoming is not always accurate. So
29:37 you always hear, they say, you know, and
29:39 I'm going to tell you three, it might be
29:41 multiplied by seven. Multiply by three. Or
29:43 multiply by three. Multiply by three. The
29:47 reality is that males' egos are very
29:50 brittle. The fact that we ask in generally
29:53 is because most of our egos brittle and a
29:56 lot of women suss us out very early. Most
30:00 women could tell the level of how much a
30:02 man could take from the, the, the minute
30:05 that she started to have a conversation
30:06 with him. Or is she embarrassed by it? She
30:09 thinks it's a mistake. I think it's really about
30:11 embarrassment because I know that if a
30:13 woman really comfortable. Rarely, r-e-a-l-l-y or r-a-y-e. Rarely, rarely embarrassed by the
30:19 number. I think that because she will have
30:21 no problem talking to her female friends
30:23 about it. So it's not an embarrassment. It's
30:26 really about, it's really about if I'm
30:30 interested in this man and I know that
30:33 his ego can't take a particular number
30:35 because they know women's intuition are
30:37 at a next level. Then fake from the start.
30:39 She will now, um, throttle her answer based
30:44 on whatever she thinks that your ego is.
30:47 So it's fake from the start? I wouldn't say
30:49 fake. I would say. No, that's fake. You're lying.
30:52 You're lying. First of all, first of all.
30:54 Everybody puts on a face for everybody else.
30:58 Yes. In the beginning. Yes. It doesn't stop
31:00 it from being a liar. Well, then everybody
31:03 is liars. Because men wearing a fake gold
31:06 watch or whatever to give the illusion of
31:09 wealth is all lies. Correct. Get a mate to
31:12 a point where we could now be ourselves.
31:15 So, the point where it could be yourself. Yeah.
31:18 That's the reality. Right? Yeah, yeah. But back to the
31:21 point I was making, right? With, with the
31:23 reason why orgasms get faked is because
31:26 again, back to we try not throttle the
31:29 figure. By the way, ladies, let me just
31:30 preface this with men fake orgasms too.
31:33 Good, good point. That's just the reality, right?
31:35 I know it's a. That don't make sense because. I have.
31:38 Because, okay, when a man orgasms. I gotta blow your
31:42 mind. Do you mean. I gotta blow your mind. It's ejaculation.
31:44 Yeah. Right. But if a man. Are you always
31:48 checking, Jamie? Do you always check? Yes.
31:50 Jamie. Yes. So, they pull out and they have a condom
31:53 and you pull out and you say with Katie the condom
31:55 you put just in the dark. You see. No, it wouldn't be in the dark, number one.
31:58 I like lights. Well, it's sometime it might be
32:01 in the dark but I'll fake a headache or two.
32:03 But point is, I have **** on her back already.
32:09 Thanks for sharing that. Thank you for sharing that.
32:13 I think with that one, we need to take a break.
32:15 We need to take a break with that one, ladies and
32:18 gentlemen. A lot of good conversation here.
32:21 So, we take a short break and come back.
32:24 Manhood. Nile, where you going?
32:27 We are back. Talking about sexual. Everything sexual.
32:44 And we closed off the second break with Nile
32:49 talking about men fake orgasms.
32:52 And I didn't agree with that because to me
32:57 for a man to feel like he did something, he
33:01 alright, he get, he finish.
33:05 Ejaculation occurs. With a woman, not all the time
33:10 you could tell that she is, you know, she ****.
33:15 Okay. You know what I mean? Because some women
33:18 do tell properly, you ain't drinking enough water.
33:20 It might be not as fluid as you, you know,
33:24 supposed to be. So, you can't really tell now.
33:28 It's easier for a woman to fake an orgasm than a man.
33:31 Were you going to? We won't repeat it. Right?
33:35 Let's not. Let's not. Let's not. Right?
33:37 So, that's interesting because men are somewhat
33:40 gonna, you know what I mean? You all are cons.
33:44 You all are. Just to close this, right? Alright.
33:47 It's better we are cons. Just to close it.
33:49 It's more like it's back down to feeding egos.
33:53 That's the whole point people fake, fake anything
33:56 in a relationship, right? Okay.
33:58 I wanna feed her ego because I don't want to
34:00 say at the time saying, yo, I am bored or I'm
34:03 no longer interested or I have something better to do.
34:06 I just wanna. Or you don't wanna embarrass her.
34:08 I don't want her to feel bad about herself.
34:10 The same reason or the same way that a woman
34:13 fake orgasm with a man is, is she wants to feed
34:16 her ego. She want us to feel better about ourselves
34:18 when we, when she leaves here and I go about
34:20 my day. I can't go about feeling like, wait,
34:23 boy, I didn't, I didn't make her, I didn't make
34:25 her **** orgasm. Like. Mm hmm. That just ruined
34:28 my whole day. Now, I'm mad in traffic going to work.
34:31 Is that why then things would come up like,
34:33 you know, women say things like, what's the
34:35 term you all used earlier? Zadi? Zadi. So,
34:37 instead of just say, hey, big Zadi. Yeah.
34:39 You know? So, all, all of that comes about
34:41 as a result of feeding that ego. You want,
34:43 while that man is with you, the woman, the
34:45 man, the woman, the woman is, is, is probably
34:47 saying to themselves, you know, I want to feel
34:49 that he was the biggest and best I had but
34:52 it's BS. To me, if I care about him, then I
34:55 would feed into the ego or whatever. But if I
34:57 don't, I will. If I care about him. Like
34:59 probably that's the worst. That's the worst.
35:01 That one way never finish. That one session
35:04 probably was bad. You understand? But he, he
35:07 was like, oh my god, top of tops on the
35:09 first, the second, the fifth, the tenth. And if
35:12 he's not, but you're just, you like how he
35:13 makes you laugh, how he makes you feel, what he
35:15 buys you. Yeah, yeah. You wouldn't be like, you'd
35:16 be like, oh gosh, it's good, it's good, but you
35:18 want to drink. But that's worse. Yeah, that,
35:20 that's, that's worse. That's, that's worse.
35:22 You shouldn't, you don't care about. Well.
35:24 Because, listen, I realized from this, we need
35:28 to have plenty more of these conversations. Of
35:30 course. Right? Especially around sex because
35:32 sex is such a taboo thing. I mean, I hear
35:36 that word, sex is a taboo subject. I hear
35:39 that since I was five years old. But yet
35:41 still, everyone has it. Right? And it's still, it's
35:43 still a seem like it's a taboo subject. So we
35:45 really need to be honest. This episode is
35:48 going to be seen. There are going to be people
35:50 that are going to listen to it. They're going to
35:51 be up in arms. But it's the conversation
35:54 everyone is having, including the people
35:56 who are going to be upset by the way it's
35:59 going to be, the way it's going to come
36:01 across. But it might. Now we had, we had to
36:04 have these conversations, boy, because,
36:06 listen, so many, so many relationships is
36:09 become unhealthy because of lying and
36:13 in line with sex. And then because people
36:16 lie even to themselves about sex, they do
36:19 not even know how to enjoy sex properly.
36:20 And then I'm not enjoying sex. I would
36:22 be put in five years, 10 years, I'm not
36:24 enjoying it. And then, then I had a horny
36:25 person, then I had to watch porn, then I
36:27 had to, and create all this, these unhealthy
36:31 paradigms and behavior. So I'm real happy
36:34 we're having this conversation. As you say that,
36:36 I want to ask you a question, right?
36:39 You were talking about, like, pleasing.
36:42 Like, if you could just be vocal and
36:45 communicate with your partner with
36:47 reference to what you would like or
36:49 whatever. I have a question in terms of
36:53 why do the majority of women like rough
36:57 sex or love rough up or a little choke
37:01 neck while they're getting sh*t done?
37:04 Passion. The majority of women like that.
37:09 I would say it's passion because a lot of
37:12 women, and I would say even my personal
37:14 relationships and having sessions with
37:16 couples is about passion. A lot of women
37:19 don't feel like they just get passion
37:21 from the man, right? So they would
37:25 sometimes, even outside of the bedroom,
37:27 they would provoke, yeah, sure you provoke
37:29 a man, you want to get a reaction out of him.
37:32 Because most, a lot of times, women is be
37:34 stoic, right? A lot of times, even for ego,
37:37 she can't get me vexed now, so you're
37:39 keeping it inside, but you're really vexed now.
37:42 So again, we're lying, eh? Women sometimes
37:45 really want to let out passion, let out
37:47 emotion, but we're not doing it. And then
37:50 if women are emotional creatures,
37:52 that's part of the dynamic. So they want
37:55 to know, and we could even go ego, I want
37:57 to know I could get a certain reaction
37:59 from a man, right? So then we're coming
38:02 back into the sex now, because a lot of
38:04 times, women hold back. You hold back in
38:07 sex. You want, but release now, just release
38:10 sometime, you ain't releasing outside,
38:12 release sometime. So choke me, do me
38:14 something. And whether it is, of course,
38:17 I mean, that could depend on the woman's
38:19 upbringing, what her personal
38:21 preferences are, but they don't even also
38:23 have to be choking, it could be taking
38:25 your hands in a certain spot.
38:27 - Just, just, just, just, just, just, just,
38:29 overall, just, okay. - Do something, make a sound.
38:31 - I, I, I, I, I, I like where you're going
38:33 with that, and I understand the psychology
38:35 of it, which, which is apt, and that, that
38:37 also, but there's also, there's also the,
38:40 a, a, a, a reasoning behind sometimes
38:43 with the choking, and, and it's, and it's
38:45 about sex, heightened sexual feeling.
38:48 So when a woman's about to ejaculate, or
38:51 c*ck, right? And I'm still not sure
38:54 whether that's a word that we could, but
38:56 everybody uses it. - Mm-hmm, you could be lips.
38:58 - If, if, c*ck, c-o-m-e, right?
39:01 Um, that, that, at that moment, by that
39:05 almost asphyxiation, right, you're, you're
39:08 stopping air from going to blood,
39:11 and the brain, so it heightens the...
39:14 - I'll, I'll go back to the passion, you know.
39:16 - So, so on. - You want to feel something.
39:19 Most times, I mean, I don't know everybody
39:21 in the world, so I can't speak for everybody,
39:23 but most times, when we, when we have sex,
39:25 we want to have some sort of connection,
39:27 right, some sort of connection, and they
39:29 say it don't have to be the purest, it
39:31 don't have to be the most sensual, but we
39:33 want some kind of connection, and
39:35 therefore, there are different ways that
39:37 that connection, um, expands itself, that
39:40 manifests itself. So it could be, I want
39:43 row to row, right? - Mm-hmm.
39:45 - I'm gonna say something, I don't know if
39:46 we can say this, I remember I was watching
39:48 a show, a show, a show, Billions, I don't
39:50 know if you ever watched that series,
39:52 Billions, and one of the characters says,
39:54 he love to [bleep] them out, right?
39:57 Right? And so he was actually talking to
40:00 a therapist. - He must have.
40:02 - He was actually talking to a therapist,
40:03 so like, why? And he thought about it,
40:05 and he said, the fact that the woman
40:08 love him in his rowest form, means a lot
40:11 to him, right? Now, that's expressed, it
40:14 could be in a very explicit way, and it
40:16 could even, some people think it's a
40:17 nasty way, but if you understand the
40:19 deeper psychological behind it, he wants
40:21 to be accepted for who he is, and I think
40:23 all of us want to be accepted for who we
40:26 are, but yet we just lie. We just lie
40:28 when we're in bed, we just lie about what
40:30 we really want, we just fake orgasm, we
40:32 just do all these kind of things instead
40:33 of just seeing what we really want.
40:36 - The reason why I ask you that, I know
40:37 we crunch for time, the reason why I ask
40:40 you that is because a woman told me once
40:42 that it's because of how women think,
40:45 women constantly think. Men have the
40:47 ability to just shut down, sit down, and
40:50 not think about anything. We don't have
40:52 that ability now, even when we sleep in
40:54 our brains, keep working. So, she said
40:57 that because we are constantly stressed
41:01 from a menstrual cycle, from dealing with
41:06 inequality in the workplace or whatever,
41:09 that pain, it comes out during sex. And
41:15 you, by getting physically, like, again,
41:19 someone getting aggressive with you
41:21 during sex is a release for women.
41:25 - That makes sense. Psychosomatic, because
41:27 psycho means mental, somatic meaning
41:29 body, right? I've heard, and women and men
41:32 know, if we have pain and we're not
41:34 varying too much, pain, we do something
41:36 to numb it. So, it could be, I have a lot
41:39 of people take tattoos, the pain from the
41:41 tattoo does numb their pain in life.
41:43 - They cut themselves.
41:44 - Cutting themselves, alcohol, gambling,
41:46 porn, we go through. So, I could
41:48 understand, because sex is an expression
41:50 of self, so you would want it there also.
41:52 So, that makes sense.
41:53 - So, is that part of why we then say
41:54 that women may want a certain element of
41:56 roughing up? Because in the pain, you know,
41:59 you have women who may want, as we're
42:01 coming back to size, may want a bigger
42:03 size at that point because they enjoy the
42:05 pain, or in the sex and all these other
42:07 things, that is the pain of that is giving
42:09 them some sort of pleasure.
42:11 - Or release, because I don't know if it's
42:13 pleasure or numbing.
42:15 - Because, like you said, yeah, numbing.
42:17 Because women, you know, sometimes you
42:19 hear it all the time where women, and not
42:21 all women, again, we're not speaking,
42:23 we're speaking to, you know, on behalf of
42:27 some women, you know, and that's a
42:29 representation Jamie has here, to say that
42:32 women, for the most part, are about
42:35 feelings. So, when they're having sex, it's
42:37 about that connection, it's about that
42:39 feeling, whereas a man, you know, you see
42:42 it all the time even in an argument, a
42:44 man and a woman has an argument, and the
42:47 woman, the man comes to the woman to say
42:49 apologize, or he could want peace, or he
42:51 wants something, and she, nah, she want to
42:53 hold on to that grudge. Whereas a woman,
42:56 you could be as upset as a woman, come on,
42:58 whisper two things in your ear, you know,
43:00 you're ready to go, you just, because, you
43:02 know, you're not really making, you don't
43:04 really need all those connections there
43:06 to have sex. And, again, this is not
43:09 speaking on behalf of all women, you know,
43:12 but the, one of the things that you also
43:14 understand, as we talked about connection,
43:16 is that when a man and woman copulate,
43:19 or, you know, I'm trying to make sure we
43:25 always find the words, the words that could be broadcast on
43:28 television, copulate, to perform coitus,
43:31 correct, coitus, yeah, coitus, let's use
43:35 the words from the old Roman, Roman
43:37 times, coitus, Latin, yeah, but in the future we could talk about it, you know,
43:40 and when that act happens, you should,
43:43 also in order to make the full connection
43:45 between male genitalia and, of course,
43:47 female, the, is to also ensure that the,
43:49 both the chest, the connection is there,
43:52 so there's a point, is it under prior,
43:55 prior, prior Nama, or, again, again, get a bit
43:58 to leave it. Well, we'll go with heart chakra, I think that
44:00 people might have connected that. So make sure to have the connection here and there,
44:03 basically, gives you that connection. Which is my favorite position, by the way.
44:06 Well, what's that? So missionary, it's important to have that, but again,
44:10 I just use that to know. So only man is complaining about that, that position.
44:13 Well, nobody's saying stay in the position.
44:15 You're not saying stay in the position. And not all men,
44:18 and so you're coming into technique. Sex technique. Right.
44:21 So, let me go. Technique, technique is
44:24 so intricate because that is an
44:27 honesty thing. To get it, because
44:30 when two people meet each other for the first time,
44:32 you can have sex with 50 people each,
44:34 when you meet each other, you all could be virgins to each other.
44:37 Because you don't know each other's technique.
44:39 That's nice. Right? Yeah.
44:41 That's almost a closing thought, like that. You can't get better than that.
44:44 I just come up with these things nicely.
44:46 And put them little clips of that.
44:48 You missed my bong so, but that's okay.
44:51 Right, right, right. Again. Right?
44:53 So, virgins to each other. Yes, you may have experience having sex,
44:56 so you know what the anatomy is like. But even in that,
44:59 it's to really learn that person. Now,
45:02 sometimes Robert is telling me, I think about things in a utopian manner.
45:05 Right? But we, the point to me,
45:08 part of the point of this is coming up with solutions.
45:11 We want to be better. We want to be better as men.
45:14 Right? And yes, we have women on the show sometimes,
45:17 but we as men, we want to be better when we go in our relationships.
45:20 We even, to ourselves, talking to our children,
45:23 talking to other young men. We want to be better.
45:25 So if we look at this in a better manner,
45:28 so technique now, technique, we could watch as much porn as we want.
45:32 We may never meet that woman, they see on porn.
45:35 And then remember, it's an act. Porn is an act.
45:38 No matter how much reality porn it might have or things like that,
45:41 or sex tapes, even sex tapes now, they know you're being taped.
45:44 People know they're being taped, so most likely,
45:47 they're putting on an act. Big on.
45:50 Exactly. So, technique,
45:53 really, I think is an honesty thing. One, you being honest
45:56 to your partner, your partner being honest with you.
45:59 And then if you're in tune with your partner, because I remember, I'll tell you this,
46:02 we're talking about size, right?
46:05 But I remember, in a relationship, I remember once,
46:08 size, depending on how the person felt in that moment,
46:12 whether she would want all or she would want some.
46:15 Right? And I remember thinking,
46:18 in my linear thinking before,
46:21 in my mind, it's all is all. You want all if you're not going all the way up.
46:25 And she's not feeling that something's wrong.
46:28 But she was saying sometimes she don't want that. Right?
46:31 She's lying now. Right? But only after
46:34 talking to other people, the technique is different. Some days,
46:37 you want it fast. Some days, you want it slow. Some days, you want it quick.
46:40 She said, "Eh!" And I think, "Eh, let me get a cookie."
46:43 And I think, "Nah, my brain has always had to be long.
46:46 It had to be thin because that's what I learned." But the technique
46:49 for that day, different. The technique for the morning might be
46:52 different from the technique for the evening. And you're roughing up, to answer Jamie's question,
46:55 you're roughing up, I expect. Roughing up quick might be for the morning.
46:58 It might be in the evening. So, this is really, I mean,
47:01 human, that's why I love having these conversations. Human dynamics
47:04 and human behavior is a lovely thing. But
47:07 for it to work, we have to be honest first with ourselves.
47:10 Exactly. Know what you want, know what you like. And then
47:13 connect with your partner. So, we as men. See, that's what I'm saying to Jamie.
47:16 You want to be honest. Women, you want to be honest with the men.
47:19 Especially if you're saying you have feelings for them.
47:22 With themselves first. With themselves first. And then
47:25 communicate. Because if you say you love them,
47:28 if you say you love them, then the best way to express
47:31 that, and I'll be part of my closing, to have that quick
47:34 discussion. But I want, it's time for us
47:37 to wrap this particular conversation. A lot has come out of it.
47:40 So, your answer, you want to finish it, Tawad? Yeah.
47:43 People are employing.
47:46 And I'm saying, I'm not even perfect at it because there are certain paradigms
47:49 I'm still trying to get over. But the only way to get over
47:52 it is being honest. Right? Honest with yourself.
47:55 Especially when you're talking about sex. Sex, I think, is an important
47:58 part of relationships. It's an important part of human
48:01 connection. And then it's an important part of what's procreated.
48:04 So, be honest about, first, what you like.
48:07 Be honest with your partner about what you like. And then
48:10 also be perceptive. Because sometimes,
48:13 you know, people may not be as expressive as you. But if you're
48:16 perceptive, you could see, hey, you know, he like this, she like this.
48:19 So, you could maybe do a little more of that and ask.
48:22 So, the point is, one, honesty. And also, two,
48:25 being caring and empathetic to your partner
48:28 to understand what they want or what they may like.
48:31 Jime? I would say
48:34 women know how to hit a man where it hurts
48:37 in terms of getting
48:40 them to be on your level when you're angry and
48:43 how do you say,
48:46 emasculating men.
48:49 That has somewhat become a
48:52 reoccurring theme in terms of relationships.
48:55 I would say for Trinidad, right, because I can't speak about
48:58 any country. And we,
49:01 as a whole, citizens, male,
49:04 female, we had to do better. So, more conversations
49:07 like this, you know, interact with us
49:10 in the, when we have our shows
49:13 every Friday, interact in the chats, share,
49:16 you know, so we could get more resolve
49:19 through discussion and just being
49:22 open and raw about
49:25 situations on our own, holistically.
49:28 I would say,
49:31 keep it short, the amount of sexual
49:34 partners that the person that you would have is none of their business
49:37 and you don't need to ask.
49:40 And that's about it.
49:43 I want to close to say, first off,
49:46 Niall, I'm proud of you. I'm proud that you
49:49 kept it, you know, you kept it PG.
49:52 I appreciate that. And that being said,
49:55 on a serious note, is that this conversation
49:58 needed to be had and it's a, and
50:01 conversations like this, as Johansi pointed out, need to
50:04 continue to happen. It's
50:07 the basis, it's the root cause, it's
50:10 the, sometimes the outcome
50:13 of issues such as low self-esteem, insecurity,
50:16 pent up anger, all of these things
50:19 come when they manifest in areas such as this.
50:22 And as you've heard by this discussion today and this
50:25 conversation, so much has come out. The fact that
50:28 in certain cases, we feel that sometimes being
50:31 honest is actually holding back. And part
50:34 of that love is actually holding back not to
50:37 allow that person to feel a particular way. But we really
50:40 need to get to the root cause of what that is and what
50:43 comes out of that. So, Niall, you pointed
50:46 it out. Does the number really matter at that point?
50:49 Let's face it, everyone,
50:52 you might not like it, but the truth is, they cannot
50:55 change the past. You cannot change the past. So if you
50:58 intend in your courting period to get that information,
51:01 decide at that point, that's your red flag, get out.
51:04 Correct. If you continue to move forward, know that
51:07 the person cannot change their past. And to continue
51:10 going down the road of what can almost be seen as a form
51:13 of domestic violence, that's mental abuse,
51:16 by constantly having an attack on that person for that
51:19 number of things that they can't change. Now, if they're going back in the past
51:22 and they take an attack back, or they're bringing it about, as you say,
51:25 hitting people where it hurts, that's an entirely different story.
51:28 But if that's not the case, then the only number
51:31 that really matters is the fact that you can
51:34 count on them. And that's what's really important.
51:37 I like that. I like that. I like that.
51:40 Gems, boy. Gems.
51:43 So, in closing,
51:46 I love the fact that we've come to the main nugget for me
51:49 was that we're trying to make our mark.
51:52 And you really have to check yourself on that.
51:55 Check yourself on where is that coming from?
51:58 Is that making your mark in society? Or are you making your mark
52:01 out of insecurity and things that really
52:04 don't matter? Because what you think the woman thinks
52:07 is a totally different thought most of the time.
52:10 So, this has been Manhood. Johansi, Jamie, Nyle.
52:13 Always a pleasure. This conversation today,
52:16 Sexual Prowess, Sexual Myths.
52:19 They are myths.
52:22 [music]
52:25 [music]
52:28 Manhood.
52:31 Brought to you by Jameson. Natural sources since 1922.
52:34 And Racetrack.