Coronation Street 08 28 23 l Coronation Street August 28 2023
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00 Don't mean it's not gonna.
00:01 They know that.
00:03 Even if you don't.
00:05 I just need to be able to think about someone else other than MND.
00:10 Not feel so suffocated by it, you know?
00:13 Of course you do.
00:16 So do they.
00:19 Sorry, I know I must sound like I write a sad old broken record.
00:23 It's just it all feels so...
00:24 ..hopeless.
00:27 You want my advice?
00:29 Get yourself a new playlist. Something a bit Fleming Lively.
00:33 No. More like yours, you mean.
00:35 You're not wrong with Metallica.
00:36 HE CHUCKLES
00:38 Would you just sell it off after everything we put into it?
00:41 I agree. Of course I do.
00:43 But the way things stand when the contract ends with Angelica knowing
00:46 that is it.
00:48 There's no more orders coming in
00:49 and there's no-one banging down our door to step into their shoes.
00:52 Yeah, well, it still sucks.
00:54 Agreed.
00:58 Sorry, I couldn't help.
01:00 What does your uncle think?
01:02 Thinks we should sell.
01:04 Oh, thank Nick for me, will you, love?
01:06 No problem.
01:08 Well, good luck.
01:10 I trust Stephen's judgment, so...
01:12 He's about as trustworthy as I...
01:14 You all right? You got something to say?
01:16 Yeah, it's a joke. He's got your rat round his little finger, he has.
01:19 So not only is he untrustworthy, he's a liar too, is he?
01:23 Are you kidding me? The man's got it down to a fine heart.
01:26 You do know that he told me mum that he was coercively controlled by his ex
01:30 and that's how he reeled her in?
01:32 No? Or that he hired this so-called Tom Bender
01:35 as a consultant for the factory?
01:37 Siegel or something, like the one he was called.
01:39 There's a lot about your uncle that you don't know, none of it's good.
01:54 OK, see you there in ten minutes.
01:56 All right, bye-bye.
01:57 Oh, hi.
01:59 Hi, love. How you doing?
02:01 You left this at the caf, you numpty.
02:05 Oh, man.
02:06 About this deal, without wishing to stick my oar in...
02:10 Go on, please, roll away.
02:12 Well, maybe Stephen's proposal, the solar part of the factory,
02:14 is not such a bad idea.
02:16 I mean, it'd take a lot of pressure off you, wouldn't it?
02:18 Mm.
02:19 I'm sure you haven't forgotten we need to pay Lou for the watch.
02:22 And, yes, I would make a lot of money, it's just...
02:25 It doesn't seem fair, making a decision based on what's just right for me,
02:28 does it?
02:29 Well, no, I... But I think if it makes good business sense...
02:32 Yeah, but I'm sorry, if you're the one benefiting
02:34 from somebody else's hard graft, it kind of sticks in the craw.
02:37 Flipping it.
02:38 It's becoming soft in me old age, isn't it?
02:40 So that's the only thing that's stopping you selling?
02:43 Well, that.
02:45 Feeling a bit of a failure on the back of losing all the contracts.
02:48 So hot on the heels of losing Lou's.
02:51 Well, why don't you, I don't know, compensate Stephen and the others
02:54 for all the hard work you've put in making the brand so bankable?
02:57 It's definitely an idea.
03:02 I don't need anyone to look after me.
03:10 Oh, come on. Don't offend Yasmine.
03:13 She just thought that you might fancy an extra bit of pocket money
03:16 at the restaurant.
03:18 Yeah, but I prefer to stay here.
03:20 But I prefer to stay here and play on my tablet.
03:22 Which you haven't got, remember?
03:24 This is so unfair.
03:26 I only want to message some friends on it.
03:28 That's all.
03:30 Fine.
03:31 Where are you going?
03:34 To see Sam, in case he thinks I'm dead.
03:36 Yeah, well, don't...
03:37 Oh, I tell you what, ever since her dad's been on the scene,
03:46 she's developed a definite attitude.
03:48 I thought I heard raised voices.
03:51 Sorry.
03:52 So, what's your news?
03:54 Don't tell me you're going to become a great-grandmother.
03:56 Not as far as I know, no.
03:58 Actually, Zidan wants to take me to Pakistan for my 70th birthday.
04:04 Oh, wow!
04:06 Oh, that's amazing.
04:07 It is, isn't it? It's so kind.
04:09 He's got everything planned, all the places we're going to visit.
04:13 Obviously, now is not the right time, so...
04:15 Why not? Come on, I can look after Speed, doll.
04:20 Stu, I was thinking of problems closer to home.
04:22 Oh.
04:23 Yeah, I know how stressful the situation is.
04:29 Yasmeen, it is my problem.
04:34 It's...
04:35 It's our problem.
04:37 No, seriously, I want you to go.
04:41 It's a trip of a lifetime.
04:43 Another time.
04:44 No, it's a very special birthday present from Zidan.
04:48 And, anyway, look, we're about to go into mediation.
04:52 I mean, hopefully, Dom will realise it's best for Eliza if he just backs off.
04:57 And if I need any sage advice, you're only on the end of the telephone.
05:01 Please, Yasmeen, go.
05:04 I can't.
05:06 I've already told Zidan I am needed here.
05:13 SHE SIGHS
05:14 SHE SIGHS
05:17 And your hot pox will be about five minutes. OK, girls.
05:21 How about you, Ryan? Anything to eat?
05:23 No, I'm all right. I'll wait for Colin. OK.
05:26 I've refilled the oven.
05:27 Oh, thanks, love.
05:28 I didn't know you were working today.
05:31 Yeah, unfortunately.
05:33 Guess you prefer to be at home sorting stuff out.
05:35 How is the new place?
05:37 It's good, thanks. Yeah?
05:40 Listen, Ryan, I bumped into Beth earlier
05:41 and she said you were getting a load of grief online yesterday.
05:45 No, you don't need to be dealing with abuse.
05:47 There's always going to be idiots.
05:49 I was going to say I've got thick skin, but I guess I don't really, do I?
05:55 SHE CHUCKLES
05:56 Mind what you did?
06:00 I just wish you'd let me get on with it.
06:04 Do things my own way.
06:06 What? Honestly, can you actually hear yourself?
06:12 Oh, so now I'm not allowed to have an opinion either?
06:14 Oh, for God's sake.
06:16 Stop feeling so sorry for yourself.
06:19 You've got a partner who clearly loves you to bits.
06:22 You've got your mum, your sister, your friends.
06:26 From where I'm sitting, you're looking pretty damn blessed.
06:29 Believe me, it's like I driving to a line of strangers
06:31 to do stuff for you.
06:32 I'm sorry.
06:36 I know they mean well.
06:39 And they're right and all.
06:40 A wheelchair would make your life so much easier.
06:43 As will a stairlift.
06:44 None of us want this stuff in our life,
06:48 reminding us we're shuffling to the front of the queue.
06:50 But they get it because they love you.
06:52 For that, you should be grateful.
06:56 And you say it's already got planning permission?
07:02 For six houses, Ed reckons.
07:04 Well, that sounds like a good proposition.
07:07 We won't be the only people to think so.
07:09 Oh, man, I tell you,
07:11 if our money wasn't tied up in them shares, I'd go for it.
07:14 Look, you did the right thing making that investment.
07:17 Once that merger's announced,
07:18 those shares are going to shoot right up in value.
07:20 Then we'd have lost our chance to get our hands on the land.
07:23 Oh, man. Six houses.
07:25 I could tell a huge profit.
07:29 What is it?
07:34 I've arranged a meeting with the bank.
07:35 I reckon we can use a loan, along with our existing capital,
07:40 to finance the purchase.
07:42 Ed, yeah?
07:44 Yeah.
07:46 So, what are you going to tell him?
07:48 Nothing right now.
07:49 I've just got to cross my fingers and...
07:52 hope he doesn't find out.
07:53 Wait, you're probably misheard.
07:57 I mean, that waiting room can get very noisy.
08:00 I'm telling you, we were all sitting there, facing each other.
08:03 Yeah, but was it busy?
08:05 Cos I was thinking of going to see Dr Gaddass
08:07 about getting my ear syringe.
08:09 Could I just finish?
08:10 I thought you had.
08:11 Well...
08:13 So, he was sitting there, staring at me.
08:15 How old was he?
08:16 Oh, three, four.
08:18 And then he leaned into his mother and he said,
08:21 "Oh, that old lady's just pooped herself."
08:25 Me? He actually said that?
08:28 Yes, of course.
08:29 But he had, and he was just looking for somebody to blame.
08:33 I mean, they all heard, they all looked.
08:35 Oh, well.
08:36 So, anyway, where's this letter?
08:39 Oh, yes.
08:40 There.
08:41 It does seem very genuine, doesn't it?
08:48 I mean, what do you think?
08:50 Yes, it does.
08:51 But...
08:53 why would they be sending you a statement?
08:55 That's what I thought.
08:56 It's got to be a scam, hasn't it? Come on.
08:59 Mum.
09:01 Hello, Sarah, love.
09:02 Have either of you two heard anything about Stephen
09:05 being coercively controlled by Gabrielle?
09:07 Um...
09:10 Oh, I don't believe it. You both knew?
09:13 I'm sorry, love.
09:14 Probably should have told you.
09:15 Yeah, I'm sorry too, sweetheart.
09:18 We were just thinking about poor Stephen.
09:21 Do you know, I mean, I know he's Eliza's dad,
09:29 but as a guardian, then surely...
09:32 Hey, you said everything you needed to.
09:34 And look, if Eliza's mum is insistent
09:37 that the child spends no time with the father, then...
09:39 And when that lawyer fella asked if I thought he posed a threat
09:42 to the child, what could I say but no?
09:45 Because you don't know him.
09:46 And neither does Eliza.
09:48 Yeah, but she wants to. I know that.
09:51 And from what I've seen of him, he seems pretty determined.
10:01 You should have texted to say you were heading home.
10:03 I was fine.
10:05 How did you manage the stairs?
10:09 Well, Ed's down there, measuring up.
10:12 To be honest, I didn't expect you home so soon.
10:16 Yeah, well, Shelley's feeling a bit better, so...
10:20 I thought, "Who's the person I want to spend my day with?"
10:25 Turns out it's you.
10:26 So...
10:31 what would you like to do, then?
10:32 We could go and head out, have a bit of lunch,
10:35 once you've eaten already.
10:37 You know, I was thinking of something a bit more...
10:41 adventurous.
10:42 No.
10:44 I want to do stuff while I can still walk.
10:47 Even if it is with the cane.
10:49 Cane?
10:51 What kind of stuff?
10:53 - Any meat? - No.
10:54 Just to let you know, I'm going to start work.
10:56 No problem. We're off out now, anyway.
10:59 - OK. - And, erm...
11:00 Thanks, Ed. We appreciate it.
11:03 Right.
11:10 You ready?
11:11 Yeah.
11:12 PHONE RINGS
11:19 Oh, hello.
11:25 Oh, hey, Sarah. What can I do for you?
11:27 Well, you can stop taking my uncle for a ride for a start.
11:31 I beg your pardon?
11:32 Oh, drop the act.
11:34 I know all about you and your so-called consultancy service.
11:38 Siegel, wasn't it?
11:39 I wanted in on that call and now I know why Stephen will let me.
11:42 He's a liar's like you in his life.
11:45 You are so sweet.
11:47 And your loyalty to your Uncle Stephen is admirable.
11:50 It really is.
11:52 It's just a shame he has never shown the same kind of loyalty
11:55 to you or anyone in your family, for that matter.
11:58 If you've got something to say, just say it.
12:01 Goodbye, Sarah.
12:03 No, go...
12:04 Oh...
12:05 Oh...
12:07 With respect, I think I should lead the nippersnappers sale.
12:18 I'm the most experienced person in the room
12:20 and undoubtedly I'll get the best deal.
12:22 Kyle is experienced too.
12:24 No, no, no. He's the best person for the job.
12:26 Plus, it's in your best interest to get us all the good deal
12:29 because FYI, gentlemen, I'm going to be giving you two fellas
12:32 and Sarah a cut of the proceeds of the sale, so...
12:35 Mr Ambassador, you are spoiling us.
12:37 I certainly am.
12:38 I mean, on paper, I owe you absolutely nada,
12:42 but since decency is my middle name...
12:44 Thanks for coming over, love.
12:49 And sorry again for keeping you in the dark.
12:52 - Oh, you're Gabrielle, and... - It's all right.
12:54 Well, bit of a shock, but...
12:56 Come on, Mum.
12:57 Oh, no, no, no, she's busy. Come on.
12:59 No, no. I've come to see you two.
13:01 - Go on, what is it? - Well, it's this letter.
13:04 - Show her. - Yeah.
13:05 Sarah, look at this.
13:07 It's a letter.
13:09 Yeah, Mum, I think I got that bit.
13:11 Well, she was going to say that it's a scam.
13:13 And it is, isn't it? It's a scam.
13:15 Well, let's see what it's all about, then.
13:18 She'll put your mind at rest.
13:19 It's a statement and an equity release.
13:22 Oh...
13:24 Yeah, it is. It's a scam.
13:27 - It looks surreal. - Yes, well, they can do anything these days,
13:30 can't they, with computers and scanners and 3D, what's-it?
13:35 I mean, do you know, you can make cakes from them.
13:38 I saw it on the news. It's a scam.
13:40 Oh...
13:42 Well, I know for a fact I have never released any equity,
13:46 so it just doesn't make sense.
13:49 Though...
13:51 Well...
13:53 Stephen did have an estate agent around last year, do you remember?
13:57 Oh, please say these two things have nothing to do with it.
14:01 Oh, please.
14:02 I mean, Stephen wouldn't do anything without consulting you first.
14:07 Yeah, I know. He's very loyal to the family.
14:09 Yes, family first, 100%.
14:12 - Can I just have another look? - Yeah.
14:14 Oh...
14:19 Isn't this lovely?
14:21 Yeah.
14:24 - Sorry, am I going too...? - No, I'm all right. I'm all right.
14:28 It's nice to get out, yeah.
14:34 I tell you what, can we just grab a seat, get a breather?
14:38 Yeah.
14:40 - Take the weight off. - Yeah.
14:43 Oh...
14:45 Turned her into my mother.
14:57 We used to go out on a big walk.
15:01 When we were little, she was so...
15:04 It's her seat.
15:05 Admired of you.
15:07 You're not turning her into your mother?
15:10 I'll be wearing noisy blouses and getting my roots done next.
15:14 - I am. - Ah, well, then...
15:16 We've got to make her pass at the neighbour, Keith, at a yard sale.
15:21 She, um...
15:24 She wants red.
15:26 There's a particular bean to a yard sale, very American.
15:30 She decided she was going to have one herself,
15:32 and it was basically just selling off her tat on the front drive.
15:37 SHE SIGHS
15:39 I am fully aware that I'm just wittering on.
15:47 I think we need to have a talk about what happened yesterday.
15:54 Properly.
15:57 What is it you want, Dom?
16:03 I want to talk Mr Grown-up here out of going to court.
16:06 Do you know, this is as bad as tampering with the evidence.
16:09 - Is he allowed to do this? - Well, it...
16:11 Think about it. It's common sense, really.
16:13 - What is? - Courts always side with the family.
16:15 Yeah, but which bits of the family?
16:17 Were both of flesh and blood?
16:19 Judges usually side with the parents.
16:21 Often, not always.
16:23 Do you know how costly this'll all be for both of us?
16:26 Can we not just be like grown-ups about it all?
16:29 SHE SIGHS
16:32 I'll think about it.
16:34 - Thank you. - I've thought about it, and it's a no from me.
16:37 See you in court.
16:39 - It's an olive branch. - In the shape of a ring, like.
16:53 - Thank you so much. - And how are you?
16:56 Ooh. I am trying not to tilt my head to the side
16:59 and sound all patronising, but that's actually quite hard.
17:02 - I'm all right. - Yeah?
17:04 Yeah. Well, I mean, I've been better, but...
17:07 I've done worse.
17:09 I had this check-up, and they suggested
17:12 that I try putting make-up on the scar.
17:15 - Right. - Only I wouldn't know where to start.
17:18 Well, if you did want to give it a go any time,
17:21 I would be more than happy to lend a hand.
17:23 I will try not to make you look like Bimini Bambu Lash.
17:26 I'd kill to look like them. Think of the followers.
17:28 - You will. - No, seriously, thank you.
17:30 - And I may well take you up on that. - OK. Good.
17:33 Er, do you want a brew?
17:37 Er, something stronger?
17:39 - Er, no. I should get back. - Really?
17:42 Yeah.
17:44 Angelique is such a glamorous name.
17:47 Well, she's one very sophisticated lady.
17:51 I wish I'd been called Angelique.
17:54 Angelique Bradley.
17:56 Actually, it kind of spoils it, doesn't it?
17:58 The Bradley bit.
18:00 You know, I don't often blow my own trumpet, but...
18:04 Well, you've got no need, have you?
18:06 Your reputation blows it for you and it hits a top C.
18:09 Well, that sale is in the bag.
18:12 Jenny, what on earth is the matter?
18:21 Today is, um...
18:28 Today is my last day as owner of the Rovers.
18:31 Oh. Oh, no.
18:33 Tomorrow I meet with their brewery to sign the paperwork.
18:36 Oh, Jenny.
18:38 Oh, Jenny, Jenny.
18:41 Would you like me to come with you?
18:46 Strength in numbers?
18:48 Oh, Stephen.
18:51 What would I do without you?
18:55 Oh, no.
18:58 Sorry about this.
19:00 Who could possibly be more important than me?
19:02 Sarah wants to see me immediately.
19:05 Well, you're a popular guy.
19:07 Oh, listen, apologies a thousand times.
19:10 No, it's fine.
19:12 You're giving. I get it. I do.
19:22 What you heard was true.
19:25 But if you'd have heard what I was going to go on to say...
19:29 ..then you would have understood.
19:33 And if this... If we were...
19:38 ..normal and you'd done what you did...
19:44 ..we'd have had a barney and...
19:49 ..then I would have dumped you.
19:51 And then we'd have spent six months playing the field and...
19:55 ..and then one way or another, like...
20:00 ..two star-crossed lovers...
20:02 ..we would have found our way back to one of the...
20:08 ..as-is-our-want.
20:10 But who says we're normal?
20:16 Normal's boring.
20:18 Normal's for wimps.
20:21 So I've... put my finger on the fast-forward button.
20:25 I'm... I'm over it.
20:29 Thank you.
20:47 (SIGHS)
20:49 This is pretty decent, innit?
20:54 Yeah.
20:56 I feel like I'm in some posh Merchant Ivory film.
21:01 You know, looking out to sea on the Riviera,
21:04 just sipping a small sherry.
21:07 What her world be in?
21:09 (LAUGHS)
21:11 The end to a perfect film.
21:14 The end to a perfect film.
21:16 The end to a perfect day.
21:20 (CLEARS THROAT)
21:21 Well, it is mid-afternoon.
21:23 And actually...
21:29 What?
21:31 I know what would make it even better.
21:34 Oh, aye? Hmm.
21:36 I'll tell you what they do in these posh films.
21:40 What's that, then?
21:42 They rip off the clothes and go skinny-dipping.
21:45 No, you don't! Seriously.
21:48 No! No, it's freezing.
21:51 But it's on my bucket list.
21:53 (WHIMPERS)
21:55 Take it.
21:57 You up for it?
22:01 No! Like...
22:04 What if someone sees?
22:06 It's not up for negotiation.
22:08 I am a man of the cloth.
22:12 Well, then, get your kit off, Reverend.
22:15 Right, I've lined them up for you boys. Grab them quick.
22:20 She thinks I'm a dipsomaniac.
22:22 So, how did it go with the bank manager?
22:25 Do they still exist? Do what?
22:27 Well, isn't it a relationship manager these days?
22:30 I'm sorry, I didn't realise you were part of our business meeting.
22:33 Why don't you pull up a chair and take minutes?
22:36 There's no law against taking an interest.
22:39 Yes, well, there's a very fine line between taking an interest and being nauseous.
22:43 Right, come on, let's grab a chair, tell me all about it.
22:47 So, we've been approved for a business loan
22:50 to purchase the land in principle.
22:53 All we need now is the remaining 20%,
22:56 which we'll take out of our business account, and we can proceed.
23:01 I told you you'd be biting my hand off.
23:03 I'm going to visit the boys.
23:05 Yes. We'll do it.
23:07 Or do we need to stop the project?
23:10 What do you reckon?
23:15 I have 100% conviction that those shares are going to land.
23:20 Guess who I spoke to today.
23:22 Er, Ethel read the unready?
23:25 The equity release firm.
23:27 What are you talking about? I never...
23:29 Oh, Stephen, don't lie.
23:31 You think I was stooped that low with my own family?
23:35 I spoke to Gabrielle, too.
23:37 She claims you have no loyalty to your family whatsoever.
23:41 Going to say something? Defend yourself, even?
23:45 Stealing from my mother?
23:50 What I did is indefensible.
23:54 I was going to go straight to Gran, but I don't know,
23:57 I just wanted you to be able to explain yourself first.
24:00 Well, good, cos I can explain.
24:03 OK. I'm waiting.
24:06 Listen, I know, I know it was an awful mistake,
24:23 but I was desperate. I was always going to pay her back.
24:26 You have to believe that.
24:28 Look, it's going to be tough, but it's time that you come clean to Gran.
24:32 Please, Sarah, don't tell her. It'll kill her.
24:36 Look what she did last year. It'll tip her over the edge.
24:39 If you tell her, she will dot me into the police like she did with Nick and David.
24:43 So?
24:44 I can hardly pay her back if I'm in prison, can I?
24:47 And I will pay it back, every penny.
24:49 But I just... All I need is time.
24:53 I need to get the Angelique deal over the line,
24:56 and reparations can be made.
24:59 Sarah, please.
25:02 I am begging you.
25:04 Oh.
25:08 The things you dot me into.
25:10 (Laughs)
25:12 (Grunts)
25:14 I got you.
25:20 (Panting)
25:22 When we get home, shall we book our wedding?
25:41 (Birds chirping)
25:43 (Grunts)
25:56 (Sighs)
25:58 (TV playing)
26:11 - Hiya. - Oh, you're back.
26:13 Grandad, can I have my tablet back, please?
26:17 I'm so bored.
26:18 Can you just give me a minute to get a house?
26:20 I only want to play some games on it.
26:22 Are you deaf as well as daft?
26:24 - You can't say that. - I've already said no.
26:27 So why would I change my mind when I'm press ganged
26:29 as soon as I walk through the door?
26:31 - And don't you start. - Mediation did not go very well.
26:39 - You got it in one night, Stan. - Listen.
26:41 You can be as rude to me as you like,
26:43 but do not take it out on her.
26:45 You push her away even more, if that's possible.
26:48 Yeah, yeah, you're right.
26:52 I'll go and say I'm sorry.
26:54 Well, I think we should make him an offer.
26:57 I think we should put the brakes on for a second
26:59 while we run some security checks,
27:01 so I can get a surveyor mate to nosey on down
27:03 and check the land for us before we go wasting any cash.
27:06 - How long's that gonna take? - Not long at all, mate.
27:09 I don't think we should drag our heels on this.
27:11 That land'll get snapped up.
27:13 Oh, very good.
27:16 (Clears throat)
27:22 (Message tone)
27:24 Hi, Guy, it's me.
27:26 Stand by your inbox.
27:28 I'll be sending you a personalised video very, very soon.
27:31 (Message tone)
27:33 (Sighs)
27:35 Look, I'm... I'm really sorry, Eliza.
27:59 I shouldn't have snapped at you like that.
28:02 I was having a pretty rotten day,
28:04 but I was bang out of order taught me like that.
28:07 So... do you accept Stu's apology, Eliza?
28:12 I do.
28:15 Then you must accept my apology, too,
28:17 for making such a tasteless dahl.
28:20 It must be one of those days.
28:22 - Can I go to my room? - Of course, of course.
28:25 And, er, shall I make you a nice ham sandwich later?
28:29 - Yes, please. - Lovely, good.
28:32 (Message tone)
28:34 Oh.
28:36 Well, don't you want to speak to Zee?
28:42 Oh, yeah.
28:45 I think it's such a shame you're missing out on this amazing trip.
28:49 I, um...
28:51 I worry about how I'm going to feel when I go back.
28:55 Pakistan, all it represents,
28:58 the estrangement with my father,
29:02 if I go back...
29:04 Didn't you say Mother's grave was out there?
29:07 Well, wouldn't you like at least to go and visit that?
29:11 You know what?
29:13 Maybe I will go and see my mum.
29:16 I owe everything that I am to her.
29:22 Yeah, yeah, he's proper chuffed.
29:26 He's just used the stairlift for the first time. He loved it.
29:29 Oh. Yeah.
29:31 Thank you so much.
29:33 All right.
29:35 Cheers, Ed. We'll see you soon.
29:37 Bye-bye.
29:39 (Message tone)
29:41 It's a proper game-changer, innit?
29:43 Yeah. Yeah, it's all right.
29:46 Right. Let's start looking for a registry office.
29:58 It just don't seem right, though, does it?
30:00 What's that?
30:02 The registry office means nothing to you.
30:04 You want to get married in a church.
30:07 When you've dedicated your life to that church,
30:10 it's just not fair.
30:12 Life isn't fair.
30:14 That's why you've got to grab on to these moments of happiness
30:17 when they come your way.
30:19 You've got to always wait for the Church of England,
30:22 see if they change their mind.
30:24 I might be waiting quite some time.
30:26 Yeah.
30:28 A commodity I don't know that much of.
30:31 Marrying you is what's important,
30:34 not where it takes place.
30:36 I'd be doing it in front of my God, wherever I am.
30:40 You sure? Yeah.
30:42 Could always get married in the bistro.
30:49 Why there?
30:51 I don't know. Just when we were bobbing around in the water,
30:54 my mind went to cocktail sausages.
30:57 And uber-sized hot dogs.
30:59 And I just thought, "Bistro!"
31:02 At my dream dinner party,
31:08 I would have Charles Aznaval and Omar Sharif.
31:12 Oh, I say, all the dishemons!
31:14 Me?
31:16 Oh, cheeky!
31:18 Who would you get for intellectual debate?
31:21 And I want a pound of it.
31:23 Are you all right?
31:27 Yeah, fine.
31:29 Oh, you know the letter?
31:31 Oh.
31:33 It was a scam.
31:35 I gave him a ring and it was just a dodgy call centre
31:37 on the other side of the world,
31:39 so I don't want you worrying about it, OK?
31:41 Thank you. No, I won't. Good.
31:44 Is that all? Yeah.
31:46 I'm going to go and get my phone.
31:48 Yeah.
31:50 Can I have a word with you, please, Stephen, in private?
32:03 Oh, er, sure.
32:05 What did you say to her?
32:12 I'll keep quiet.
32:14 Oh. Well, thank God for that.
32:17 No, thanks, Sarah, for that.
32:19 But you pay her back every penny you took.
32:21 I will. I promise. Thank you.
32:24 I'm not doing this to save your skin.
32:26 I am doing this for Gran. It would kill her if she knew.
32:29 I know. I feel so bad.
32:31 Oh, once more with feelings, Stephen.
32:33 Sorry? Oh, you heard.
32:35 I mean it.
32:37 You've shown me a true...
32:40 ..a true friend.
32:43 # I'm not doing this for Gran.
32:45 # I'm not doing this for Gran.
32:47 # I'm not doing this for Gran.
32:49 # I'm not doing this for Gran.
32:51 # I'm not doing this for Gran.
32:53 # I'm not doing this for Gran.
32:55 # I'm not doing this for Gran.
32:57 # I'm not doing this for Gran.
32:59 # I'm not doing this for Gran.
33:01 # I'm not doing this for Gran.
33:03 # I'm not doing this for Gran.
33:05 # I'm not doing this for Gran.
33:07 # I'm not doing this for Gran.
33:09 # I'm not doing this for Gran.
33:11 (upbeat music)