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Hiduplah Indonesia Maya is a Stand-Up Comedy Special Show from Pandji Pragiwaksono which was held on November 30, 2019. | dG1fRjYtZV9tUVM1bWc
Transcript
00:00 My child will enter a world that is very different from mine.
00:05 Like, nowadays, kids are talking about politics.
00:09 Like, we all...
00:11 It's normal for us to talk about politics on social media, right?
00:14 For them too.
00:15 They're in high school, they're hanging out, talking about politics.
00:18 My child, Dipo, in elementary school,
00:20 was bullied because of politics.
00:23 Who laughed? I think they were very happy.
00:26 Did you hear that?
00:28 "Hee!"
00:29 "I think it's your child."
00:31 "It's my child!"
00:33 Because of politics, guys.
00:36 Because of politics.
00:38 I was eating, and suddenly my child said,
00:40 "Dad, why are you helping an evil person?"
00:44 I was shocked.
00:50 I asked him why.
00:52 He said, "I was bullied in school."
00:54 "Because they said I was an evil child."
00:56 "Because my dad helped an evil person."
00:59 Then, we can assume that it happened to his parents.
01:05 I'm telling this story because you don't assume that it happened to the supporters.
01:09 Usually, the supporters are the ones who do it.
01:11 "This happened to my child too. My child was bullied because of the election."
01:15 Does it make sense?
01:16 I even had to explain to him what politics is like.
01:19 But fortunately, my child was bullied like that,
01:22 it didn't affect his emotions too much.
01:24 He was very calm.
01:26 I don't know if he was calm or not caring.
01:28 What's certain is that my child is very logical.
01:32 I once saw my child being bullied because of the election.
01:34 It was right in front of me.
01:35 I was picking up my child,
01:37 and suddenly his friend came up to me.
01:39 "Hey, Dipo. Who are you going to vote for?"
01:41 "I'm going to vote for Ahok."
01:44 "He's a good person. Who are you going to vote for?"
01:47 "Huh? Huh?" In front of me.
01:49 Then, Dipo was silent.
01:50 Then, he said, "You can't vote."
01:53 "You're not old enough."
01:55 Then, what he said was...
01:57 His eyes were moving left and right, like there was an answer around him.
02:01 My child is always like that when he's bullied.
02:06 He was once bullied when he played soccer.
02:08 My child was in soccer school, Dipo was in soccer school.
02:10 Actually, he didn't like playing soccer.
02:12 He wasn't interested at all, but he knew I liked it.
02:14 So, I think that was a way to get me closer to him.
02:17 I think that's how I got closer to him.
02:19 So, I think that's how I got closer to him.
02:22 Then, he went to soccer school.
02:23 Let me tell you this.
02:24 I think you all should go to a soccer school.
02:27 You'll see a lot of ambitious parents...
02:30 who want their child to be a soccer star.
02:36 In my soccer school, there are children named Lionel...
02:40 Diego, Cristiano, and Zidane, guys.
02:45 They're like a star in a match.
02:49 Lionel is Zidane, and Cristiano is running away.
02:53 I was like, "This is crazy."
02:55 You can guess that there are no Manchester United players with children's names.
03:04 My child is a goalkeeper.
03:13 The reason I became a goalkeeper is simple.
03:15 I wanted to be able to hold a ball.
03:18 So, I became a goalkeeper.
03:20 But, as a goalkeeper, you have to be strong mentally.
03:24 Every time you score a goal, you're a goalkeeper.
03:26 Even though there's a back,
03:28 it's so common that the ball goes into the goal,
03:31 and the back is like...
03:33 I don't know where he is.
03:36 I'm like, "Get up, get up."
03:37 "The back is a jerk. Get up."
03:39 Is there an attack where he's just standing there and watching the ball go in?
03:46 "Get up."
03:47 Finally, Dipo didn't want to be a goalkeeper.
03:53 He became an outfielder. He became a back.
03:55 I told Dipo, "Being a back is easy."
03:57 "The principle is the same as a goalkeeper."
03:59 "Don't let the ball go past."
04:00 "The ball is close to you. Throw it far away."
04:02 "Don't let it go to the goalkeeper."
04:04 "Do you understand?" "I understand."
04:06 We know every time he says he understands, there's another problem.
04:08 We know this.
04:09 We understand, right?
04:11 You've been following me for a long time, right?
04:13 Understanding...
04:15 He solves the problem.
04:17 Okay?
04:19 I watched it.
04:24 And Dipo plays it according to the position.
04:26 If he knows it's back, it's back.
04:28 He understood it since he was a kid.
04:30 Meanwhile, his friends, you know,
04:32 kids who play ball, they connect together.
04:34 He's just behind. He's the goalkeeper.
04:37 Then there's a back attack.
04:39 I shouted from the side.
04:41 "Pau, back attack. Get ready."
04:43 My son...
04:45 My son became Godzilla on a ball court.
04:50 I was thinking, "What are you doing, Pau?"
04:59 They came because of Dipo.
05:11 I'm not lying. I recorded it.
05:13 There were many witnesses. Many parents.
05:15 This group of people who were playing ball...
05:18 They were getting closer to Dipo.
05:20 I said, "Pau, get ready."
05:22 Suddenly, Dipo disappeared.
05:24 "Where is he?"
05:26 I'm not lying.
05:28 Suddenly, in the middle of the crowd,
05:30 he appeared in the middle.
05:32 Surprise!
05:34 Then, the other kids were surprised.
05:36 He was kicked far away.
05:38 "Dipo!"
05:41 "What is that?!"
05:43 "People are looking at me from the side."
05:46 Because of Dipo's behavior,
06:02 he was often bullied.
06:05 I was watching him from the side.
06:07 But he was calm when he was bullied.
06:09 There was one kid.
06:11 I think he was upset with Dipo.
06:13 Because Dipo didn't seem to be motivated.
06:15 By becoming Godzilla, we know his head wasn't there.
06:17 He didn't know where it was.
06:19 Maybe you guys are upset.
06:22 There was one person who was teasing him.
06:24 You could see it from the outside.
06:26 Because of Dipo.
06:29 Dipo was like this.
06:31 Crazy.
06:33 My son is Cristiano Ronaldo, guys.
06:35 (Cristiano Ronaldo)
06:37 Who taught him? I don't know.
06:43 His face was like this.
06:52 I was like, "Wow, that was so cool."
06:54 He was panicking.
06:56 He was still running.
06:58 He wanted me to go in alone.
07:00 Especially, the people up there were hard.
07:04 (crowd cheering)

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