Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, presents low-budget scary movies and provides sarcastic, campy commentary. | dHNfbUdETzJGWnhkQVk
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00:39 Hello darling, yes that's right it's little old me, that quick-lipped quipstress of the dark, Elvira.
00:47 Try saying that one fast ten times, quick-lipped quipstress of the dark, Elvira.
00:52 Back once again with another awful eyeful, another weekend dosage of movie macabre.
00:58 What is this weekend?
01:00 I was just about to tell you that sister, so hold your horses.
01:03 Some people are so pushy.
01:06 This weekend we're serving up one called Blue Sunshine.
01:10 That's what it's called.
01:12 Don't sound very much like movie mac material to me, but sounds more like the name of some dish washing liquid.
01:19 But what the heck do I know?
01:21 Heck, not very much. They didn't hire me for my brains, you know.
01:25 Oh, Blue Sunshine, the movie mac thriller-dealer for this time around, and we'll get right to it after these words.
01:32 Yes I do! No you don't. Yes I do! I do! No you don't.
01:36 Okay, right, I don't.
01:38 That guy Jerry didn't seem too thrilled about kissing his girlfriend there after she announced she felt like up-chucking diddy.
01:45 Kiss-ma-zippy.
01:47 No, uh, come on, don't make me do that.
01:50 Go have some honey in, and we'll talk about it later, okay?
01:53 And the credits on this movie, I mean, I thought they would never end.
01:58 For all I know, they haven't ended.
02:01 First they gave us a few names, and then a little blackout, and then a few more names, and then another little blackout, and then some more names, and then another blackout.
02:10 I mean, just put them all together, will ya? Get them over with, you know?
02:14 If I wanted to read for two hours, I'd have gone out and bought a book or something.
02:18 Well, we'll get right back to the movie after this.
02:20 How'd this poor old zippy end up being the one who gets the blame?
02:24 Okay, maybe it wasn't in such good taste the way he just sat there warming himself in front of that roaring fire.
02:31 At least he didn't break out the marshmallows, did he?
02:35 Of course, the one they ought to be worrying about is that strange dude with the bald head.
02:40 Wasn't enough for him to murder that Sinatratoon, but then he had to go and wig out on us.
02:46 [phone rings]
02:48 Excuse me a minute.
02:50 Hello, who is it?
02:52 Oh, it's only you. It's that chump, the program director.
02:56 Okay, what I do now...
03:00 What do you mean my comments are tasteless and you'd just like me to get to the commercials?
03:04 I'll get to the commercials when I'm good and ready!
03:07 Give me a break, will ya?
03:08 Okay, okay, I'm ready, I'm ready.
03:10 Now don't tell me that Zipkin's going back to visit his doctor friend.
03:14 Has he forgotten where he "borrowed" that three-piece suit he's been living in for the past week and a half, huh?
03:21 And I think I've got Blue Sunshine figured out at last.
03:26 That had to be the name Ed Fleming used when he did his drag act on weekends in order to put himself through Stanford.
03:33 No wonder he got so uptight when he heard about that photograph.
03:37 Sure, something like that could ruin his chances of getting elected. Ed Fleming is the future.
03:44 Future what? Future Dolly Parton?
03:47 And it kind of makes you wonder about Big Number 32, Wayne Mulligan.
03:52 Big Number 32, hmm.
03:54 When I was in school, they called me Big Number 38.
03:57 And I never knew why either, on account of I never went out for sports.
04:02 I went out with a few sports, but that's another story for another time.
04:07 Let's get back to our story for this time, right after these words of important--
04:12 Of course, I remember now. Blue Sunshine was that mind-altering drug from back in the '60s.
04:19 My old pal, Breather, once told me that he used to get stoned a lot back in the '60s.
04:23 Then he learned how to duck.
04:26 Get it? The stones would miss him that way? Duck?
04:30 Gee, I remember when I was breaking in my act back in the '60s.
04:35 Oh, wow, man. Thank you. Thank you.
04:38 And the sound of one hand clapping. Oh, far out.
04:43 Okay, man. Now, have you heard the latest about Timothy Leary, man?
04:48 The Internal Revenue Service ruled today that he can't deduct the cost of his LSD as a business trip.
04:55 Oh, wow. Thank you. Thank you, man.
04:58 Oh, wow. Love, peace, man. You're a wonderful audience, man.
05:01 I wish I could leave you with a few loose ends. That's one thing.
05:04 But when it leaves you with a few split ends, that is something else again.
05:08 And I guess that little epilogue they tagged on the end there was supposed to make this story, like, real or something.
05:15 I'm sure going to watch out for bald-headed dudes who can't stand disco music, I'll tell you.
05:21 But all things considered, it wasn't such a bad movie.
05:24 I mean, Barbra Streisand even showed up in that cameo performance.
05:28 She seemed a little wooden to me, though, but what the heck?
05:32 I don't want to be the final word on this movie, so let's get a second opinion.
05:37 Oh, you, miss. On a scale of one to ten, what did you think of "Blue Sunshine"?
05:43 Seven for me, please.
05:45 Seven? Hey, that ain't bad. Seven it is.
05:49 And while we're playing the numbers game--note the clever segue here--
05:54 while we're playing the numbers game, just let me mention that I'll be back next Saturday at 8, Sunday at 4.
06:01 With more thrills, chills, and spills here on Movie Macabre.
06:05 And on that note--
06:07 Okay, on that note, it's time for me to boogie on out of here.
06:12 See you next week, darling. And until then, unpleasant dreams.
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