REBEL MOON Full Movie
REBEL MOON Full Movie
Transcript
00:00:00 Ah, the Golden Ears, free at last.
00:00:05 To play.
00:00:07 It was perfect.
00:00:09 It's not the highest scoring.
00:00:12 We don't have the biggest guys.
00:00:15 Some people call it boring.
00:00:19 But when you play it beneath blue skies,
00:00:23 It's perfect, perfect, perfect.
00:00:27 The game that I am high on.
00:00:30 Perfect, perfect, perfect.
00:00:33 A game you can rely on.
00:00:37 But then, then there was our team.
00:00:41 You know, I got up this morning and I took a shower,
00:00:43 and I couldn't believe what I saw in the mirror.
00:00:45 Well, it's a big mistake looking in the mirror, Mel.
00:00:47 Serious, it got small.
00:00:49 Maybe you were standing in a draft.
00:00:51 Maybe your gut just got bigger.
00:00:54 Maybe it was teensy-weensy from the beginning, Mel.
00:00:57 To be the same on every field,
00:01:01 From here to Maine.
00:01:04 To be so fair was all American,
00:01:07 That's for sure.
00:01:10 Hey, come on, really?
00:01:12 You guys ever notice that?
00:01:14 Come to think of it, I ain't seen no Charlie in years.
00:01:18 It's not the highest scoring.
00:01:21 They don't have the biggest guys.
00:01:24 Some people call it boring.
00:01:28 But when you play it beneath blue skies,
00:01:33 It's perfect, perfect, perfect.
00:01:49 Never said in constellation my balls are hanging down to my knees.
00:01:53 Ah, jeez!
00:01:55 When you were a kid in the field,
00:01:57 There was nothing so real
00:01:59 As the feel of a bat in your hand.
00:02:03 Grab an old glove,
00:02:05 Blue skies above,
00:02:07 Slide home into the sand.
00:02:10 We played together in the 50s.
00:02:13 Keep your eye on the ball, Steve.
00:02:15 Yeah, try not to look like a butt face again.
00:02:17 Shut up, garbage breath.
00:02:19 Spaz, moron.
00:02:23 50 years later, most of us were still playing ball together,
00:02:26 And we still didn't have uniforms,
00:02:28 And we were still clowning around, having a good time.
00:02:31 We liked to think of ourselves as hanging loose.
00:02:34 Unfortunately, we were the kings of loose.
00:02:43 We called our team appropriately "Kids at Heart."
00:02:47 Hey, try not to fart when you swing this time.
00:02:49 I gave it a breath.
00:02:50 Butt face.
00:02:55 No batter, no batter, no batter, no batter, no batter.
00:02:58 Look, whoa!
00:03:00 Nice swing, Atlas.
00:03:01 Jeez, felt the breeze all the way over here.
00:03:04 Come on, Steve, you're killing us.
00:03:06 I've never seen anything like it, guys.
00:03:08 You're the worst team in the world.
00:03:09 No, no, no, no.
00:03:10 You stink.
00:03:12 That's what our little league coach said.
00:03:14 That mean we don't go for pizza today, coach?
00:03:17 Pizza? He ain't bought us water.
00:03:21 Hey, who knew a whale could live out of water?
00:03:23 Jeez, Bobby, before we all puke.
00:03:25 Hey, I've got the right to get some sun.
00:03:27 Yeah, well, leave some for us.
00:03:29 Don't you know that's against the law?
00:03:31 What law?
00:03:32 The ugly law.
00:03:35 The ugly law.
00:03:46 Go back to sleep, Roy.
00:03:51 [cheering]
00:04:07 Great ups, roadkill.
00:04:09 She was real impressed.
00:04:10 Zip it, booger face.
00:04:12 I want any crap out of you, I'll squeeze your head.
00:04:14 Hey, don't get upset.
00:04:15 There's a lot of people with no talent.
00:04:17 [music]
00:04:31 Just look at this beautiful day.
00:04:33 I can't believe you love nature after all it's done to you.
00:04:36 My wife forbids me to take my shirt off.
00:04:39 She says she doesn't want to get nightmares.
00:04:41 She likes your hair, Perry.
00:04:43 It looks like it got it out of an ink bottle.
00:04:45 I turned you upside down in a can of black shoe polish.
00:04:48 Go ahead and laugh, but it's all natural.
00:04:50 There's not a gray hair on my body.
00:04:52 Really?
00:04:53 You dye in your body hair, too?
00:04:55 Look, it's a stand-up comedian.
00:04:57 [music]
00:05:04 I think we knew that taking life too seriously can be detrimental to your health.
00:05:08 [music]
00:05:14 That's why we needed balls so much.
00:05:16 [music]
00:05:29 It still amazes me how bad I would screw it all up.
00:05:32 [music]
00:05:39 Coffee okay, Mel?
00:05:41 It's pretty strong.
00:05:43 I usually don't drink coffee unless I can see the bottom of the cup.
00:05:46 I'm sorry about the coffee, Mel.
00:05:48 [music]
00:05:50 So what caused these panic attacks?
00:05:52 What caused it?
00:05:54 Losing the game. That's what caused it.
00:05:56 You never cared before about losing.
00:05:59 Don't get me wrong. I'm happy.
00:06:01 You know that.
00:06:03 I got my bats, my cleats, my glove.
00:06:07 You know that old Mizuno I've had for 20 years?
00:06:10 And I'm the happiest I've ever been.
00:06:14 Except when I lose.
00:06:17 Did you ever think, Mel, that maybe you don't know the difference between a hobby and an addiction?
00:06:24 Well, I guess I do think about ball every waking night.
00:06:28 I even dream about it.
00:06:31 And in my mind I go over and over every game.
00:06:34 What I did wrong.
00:06:36 How I could have played better.
00:06:38 But when I play short and I turn the perfect double play or I get the winning hit, it's sheer perfection.
00:06:48 You heard the one about Gandhi?
00:06:55 When he died, they put his cells under a microscope.
00:06:59 Guess what?
00:07:00 I don't know.
00:07:02 They all had smiley faces.
00:07:04 Hey, are you trying to tell a joke, Doc?
00:07:06 You never laugh or be funny.
00:07:09 You couldn't tell a joke if your life depended upon it.
00:07:15 See you tomorrow, Doc.
00:07:17 [Music]
00:07:41 Batter! Batter! Batter! Batter!
00:07:44 That'd be me.
00:07:46 Take your time, Jimmy. We'll just turn on the lights.
00:07:52 Jimmy, get on, baby.
00:07:55 [Music]
00:08:11 That third robbed me.
00:08:13 You gotta make a good hit to get robbed, Jimmy.
00:08:16 It was more like stealing candy from a baby.
00:08:18 I thought about you guys yesterday.
00:08:20 You know where I was? I was at the zoo.
00:08:23 [Music]
00:08:31 Mel popped it up.
00:08:32 We're out of here.
00:08:34 Teach him to look in the mirror.
00:08:36 [Music]
00:08:41 Why don't you guys break down and buy some uniforms?
00:08:44 Hey, we're just not a uniform kind of team, Jack.
00:08:48 We don't need no stinking uniforms to know who we are.
00:08:51 And forget who are we.
00:08:53 [Music]
00:09:17 You okay?
00:09:18 Yeah, I'm okay.
00:09:19 Maybe you'll go sit a while, huh?
00:09:21 I'm okay. I'm staying in.
00:09:23 See that bounce?
00:09:24 There wasn't nothing normal about that bounce.
00:09:26 That thing came right up on him.
00:09:28 You never had a chance, man.
00:09:30 Time for some payback, huh, Will?
00:09:32 Give me a second to catch my breath.
00:09:35 [Music]
00:09:41 No forfeit.
00:09:42 Game is over.
00:09:44 [Music]
00:09:46 Come on, Mel. Go on in, Mel.
00:09:48 Help of many.
00:09:57 Are you sure you're all right, Mel?
00:09:59 I'm fine. Look.
00:10:01 I'll see he gets home okay.
00:10:13 Um, if it's worth anything,
00:10:15 I think you did the right thing.
00:10:18 People get hurt when they get mad.
00:10:22 Yeah, but I hate to forfeit.
00:10:24 I know.
00:10:26 Sully Reed.
00:10:27 We're playing on the next diamond.
00:10:29 Oh, Will Fox.
00:10:33 I coach the Hot Flashes.
00:10:36 Oh, you're a woman's league.
00:10:39 Fast pitch.
00:10:40 Yeah, I'm the home run.
00:10:42 But I have, um, I've watched you play.
00:10:45 I have to admit, I really like your style.
00:10:47 I mean, you're not so serious like those other guys, right?
00:10:50 Anxious to game?
00:10:51 You keep the bigger things more important?
00:10:55 Sorry, I, I, I rattle on.
00:10:58 And now my team is taking the field,
00:11:00 so I have to go.
00:11:02 But, yeah, it's been a pleasure.
00:11:08 [Phone rings]
00:11:09 Yeah, hello?
00:11:10 Will, it's Manny.
00:11:13 Oh, Manny? Hold it.
00:11:14 Let me pull over.
00:11:16 Will, I, I, I just drove Mel to the emergency.
00:11:20 Why?
00:11:22 Will, he keeled over on me.
00:11:24 What?
00:11:26 He struck out, Will.
00:11:28 He struck out permanently.
00:11:32 ♪ A good man's gone ♪
00:11:36 ♪ He's gone away ♪
00:11:39 ♪ He's gone away for good ♪
00:11:42 Where is she?
00:11:44 Laura will be here.
00:11:46 She had to pick up Mel.
00:11:48 Mel was the best.
00:11:49 A very good ball player.
00:11:52 You know, we still need a shortstop.
00:11:54 Give it a break here.
00:11:56 Mel's very cold.
00:11:58 Yeah, this is a memorial, see?
00:12:00 Then we should be in a church like normal people.
00:12:03 This is Mel's church.
00:12:05 ♪
00:12:10 Here she is. Here comes Laura.
00:12:14 You know, Mel had great lateral moves.
00:12:17 Good D.
00:12:19 Couldn't hit .500, though.
00:12:21 Neither can you.
00:12:23 I'm 11 for 21.
00:12:24 What's that, wise guy?
00:12:26 I'll tell you what it is.
00:12:27 It's .523, and you can kiss my double wide.
00:12:32 ♪
00:12:35 Laura?
00:12:36 Sorry I'm late.
00:12:38 No problem, Laura.
00:12:40 [ Clears throat ]
00:12:46 Should we begin?
00:12:50 At first, why don't we all take a moment of silence?
00:12:55 If that's possible.
00:13:00 ♪
00:13:05 Me?
00:13:07 I'm having the traditional.
00:13:09 You know, quiet, casket, all the trimmings.
00:13:13 You going down in the ground?
00:13:15 That's where they put dead people, Barry.
00:13:17 Yeah, they can't lay a rod up here.
00:13:21 Must be dark inside a coffin.
00:13:24 And cramped.
00:13:25 I hear your nose touches the lid.
00:13:28 In a box.
00:13:30 What must that feel like?
00:13:32 Well, then do what Mel did.
00:13:34 Mel's not in a coffin.
00:13:36 Poor guy, Mel.
00:13:38 Doesn't seem possible.
00:13:40 I wonder how much the dirt weighs on top of a casket.
00:13:46 Mel and me, 163rd Street neighborhood,
00:13:50 kids together, played ball all day,
00:13:54 Saturdays, Sundays, four or five games,
00:13:58 even after dark.
00:14:00 Our moms came looking for us.
00:14:02 It was heaven.
00:14:04 How much air you think is in one of them boxes?
00:14:10 Ten minutes? Fifteen minutes?
00:14:13 All right. [ Clears throat ]
00:14:15 Very good.
00:14:17 Laura?
00:14:21 [ Wind whistling ]
00:14:24 Oh! Oh, my God!
00:14:30 I got the whole thing!
00:14:32 Look at my suit!
00:14:34 Be careful where you step!
00:14:36 Mel! Mel, I love you!
00:14:38 Mel! Mel, I love you! I love you!
00:14:41 Hey, Lenore, even at a funeral,
00:14:48 you look like a movie star.
00:14:50 Really?
00:14:52 Laura, um, I'm really sorry about Mel.
00:14:57 Deep down, I think Mel liked it best here.
00:15:00 He wanted this to be his final resting place.
00:15:03 Oh, I found this in Mel's wallet.
00:15:06 Mel said this guy's a Marilyn Monroe wet dream.
00:15:12 Well, see you around, Mel.
00:15:17 [ Wind whistling ]
00:15:20 You know, I know this isn't the time or the place,
00:15:30 but we still need a short stop.
00:15:32 Yeah, I got a feeling about this season.
00:15:34 You always got a feeling.
00:15:36 You gonna have a beer for Mel?
00:15:44 [ Music playing ]
00:15:47 Uh, hi. I'm looking for Larry Armstrong.
00:15:57 Can I help you?
00:15:59 Oh, yeah. I'm, uh, Will, Will Fox.
00:16:02 You knew, uh, Mel Romeo?
00:16:05 Yeah, I worked on Mel and Laura's cars.
00:16:08 I was, uh, I was sad to hear about it.
00:16:11 1962, '63, short stop.
00:16:16 And you should have been Golden Glove.
00:16:18 You had 298, 17 home runs, right?
00:16:23 Right, till I blew out my knee.
00:16:26 Well, Laura gave me your name.
00:16:28 Mel carried it around in his wallet.
00:16:30 He thought you were great.
00:16:32 Really?
00:16:37 Well, Mel played softball.
00:16:39 My arc.
00:16:41 Yeah, I played some, too.
00:16:43 You know, you got a good pitcher.
00:16:45 The ball's almost as hard to hit as the sinking curve.
00:16:47 Oh, yeah.
00:16:49 Your, uh, team any good?
00:16:51 Well, yeah. We're competitive.
00:16:53 Competitive? Any championships you ever go all the way?
00:16:56 Any entire fixed fast?
00:16:58 You do a quick or not?
00:17:00 Just take a minute.
00:17:02 Fill this out, mark down how you're gonna pay for it.
00:17:05 Cash.
00:17:07 Cash.
00:17:09 I don't know about traveling.
00:17:11 My wife, she, uh--
00:17:13 Are you messing with my flight or what?
00:17:15 Well, uh, you know, I can wait.
00:17:17 I heard you win a nice ring.
00:17:19 Well, yeah, it's a World Series ring.
00:17:21 It's Vegas in October.
00:17:23 Hey, you take care of my tire or what?
00:17:25 I'm waiting here.
00:17:27 You started the season already.
00:17:29 How many games left?
00:17:31 Look, I'm not gonna stand here and be ignored.
00:17:33 Now, you know my business, that is fine.
00:17:35 Goodyear is right up the street.
00:17:37 Well, I mean, it's six.
00:17:39 I mean, we win 'em all.
00:17:41 I'm out of here, you know, and I can't tell everyone I know
00:17:43 what a piss-poor business you run.
00:17:45 Yeah, tell 'em.
00:17:47 But you hit the road.
00:17:49 Uh, yeah, looks like, uh,
00:17:53 you lost a customer, Larry. I'm sorry.
00:17:55 You know what I hate about this business?
00:17:57 People think 'cause you got a little grease on your hands,
00:17:59 they have the right to treat you like a piece of dung.
00:18:01 Well, not me, pal.
00:18:03 You see this finger?
00:18:05 It was cut off.
00:18:07 I picked it up and put it in my pocket.
00:18:09 They sewed it back on.
00:18:11 How's it work?
00:18:13 Didn't stop me.
00:18:15 Nothing stops me.
00:18:17 My number is seven.
00:18:21 Just like I wore in a big show.
00:18:23 Seven?
00:18:25 And I bat fourth in the lineup.
00:18:27 I always bat fourth.
00:18:29 Okay, uh, I mean,
00:18:31 you hit the long ball.
00:18:33 Oh, yeah.
00:18:35 I hit moonshots. Just wait.
00:18:37 What's the name of your team?
00:18:39 Kids at Heart.
00:18:41 Ha ha. Kids at Heart.
00:18:43 That's sappy.
00:18:45 Bent over and passed a Vaseline kind of name.
00:18:47 It says "beat up on us."
00:18:49 Wait.
00:18:51 Okay, I got it.
00:18:53 You see that movie Top Gun?
00:18:55 Yeah.
00:18:57 We're gonna be the big guns.
00:18:59 Howitzers, cannons, heavy loads.
00:19:01 Got it?
00:19:03 Yeah. Got it.
00:19:05 Shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot,
00:19:19 shoot water, water.
00:19:21 Shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot,
00:19:23 shoot water, water.
00:19:25 She's got a search
00:19:27 and a little somethin' about her.
00:19:29 Big guns.
00:19:31 Shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot,
00:19:33 shoot water, water.
00:19:35 She's got a little piece of my heart.
00:19:37 Shoot, shoot, shoot,
00:19:39 shoot water, water.
00:19:41 You want to make an official application
00:19:43 to enter the league?
00:19:45 Yeah, right.
00:19:47 You're already in the league, Will.
00:19:49 Except now we're gonna win tournaments
00:19:51 and we're gonna go to the World Series.
00:19:53 What?
00:19:55 Look, we've known each other for over 25 years.
00:19:57 And, uh,
00:19:59 you always have been in competition.
00:20:01 But you have never
00:20:03 qualified once
00:20:05 for the Senior World Series in October.
00:20:07 Well,
00:20:09 maybe as kids at heart we didn't want to win.
00:20:11 Now,
00:20:13 we have big guns.
00:20:15 Alright, I get it.
00:20:17 You're picking up a ringer.
00:20:19 What's his name?
00:20:21 Ah, there it is. Larry S...
00:20:23 Armstrong?
00:20:25 Major League.
00:20:29 S...
00:20:31 is for Savage.
00:20:33 You sure you want to do this?
00:20:35 I mean, things are gonna really change.
00:20:37 Yeah.
00:20:39 And I'm looking forward to that change.
00:20:41 Alright.
00:20:43 Well, get your, uh,
00:20:45 team signatures.
00:20:47 And proof of age.
00:20:49 Back to me, SAP.
00:20:51 It always amazes me
00:20:53 how much you guys want the World Series.
00:20:55 Seems to bring out the best and the worst.
00:20:57 For instance, you know,
00:20:59 I shit-canned a '50s team this morning.
00:21:01 'Cause the coach
00:21:03 was offering $100 to each of them
00:21:05 for every home run they hit.
00:21:07 Can you get over what some guys will do for an $18 trophy?
00:21:09 Yeah.
00:21:11 And a ring.
00:21:13 Now it's human nature, I guess.
00:21:15 Yeah, well,
00:21:17 I was a mailman for 10 years.
00:21:19 And I quit.
00:21:21 Because...
00:21:23 I had this dream
00:21:25 about this senior softball league.
00:21:27 I had
00:21:29 two reasons for doing it.
00:21:31 One, because I wanted
00:21:33 to make a community.
00:21:35 You know, society is held together by laws.
00:21:37 I knew that, but...
00:21:39 the community
00:21:41 needs things like
00:21:43 compassion,
00:21:45 fairness,
00:21:47 and spirit.
00:21:49 Well, sure, I mean...
00:21:51 That's great, Rupert.
00:21:53 Well, um...
00:21:55 I was really small for a long time.
00:21:57 Now we got lots of players worldwide.
00:21:59 But no matter
00:22:01 how big we get,
00:22:03 we'll always
00:22:05 be a community.
00:22:07 Oh, you want to hear
00:22:09 what my second reason was?
00:22:11 Oh, yeah. Sure, Rupert.
00:22:13 What was your second reason?
00:22:15 Well, I, uh...
00:22:17 finally realized that no matter how cute
00:22:19 all dogs bite mailmen.
00:22:21 (laughing)
00:22:23 (laughing)
00:22:25 Good luck, Will.
00:22:27 Thanks. Thank you.
00:22:29 Yeah.
00:22:31 (sighs)
00:22:35 You're gonna need it.
00:22:37 Get in the World Series.
00:22:39 (jazz music playing)
00:22:41 Nobody who breathes looks like that.
00:22:47 Where'd you find him?
00:22:49 A cryogenic freeze tank?
00:22:51 Bill was right.
00:22:53 He is a Marilyn Monroe
00:22:55 wet dreamer.
00:22:57 I know him. Played with the Cardinals.
00:22:59 Larry
00:23:01 "The Savage" Armstrong.
00:23:03 Yeah. '62, '63,
00:23:05 hit 17 home runs till he blew out his knee.
00:23:07 Doesn't look like his knee
00:23:09 bothers him.
00:23:11 Geez. Will, you did great.
00:23:13 This guy's a young-looking '60.
00:23:15 Let me ask you,
00:23:17 how old you saying he is?
00:23:19 'Cause if that guy's over 60,
00:23:21 I'm a freakin' camel.
00:23:23 Yeah, Will. You think he's legal?
00:23:25 That's on his birth certificate.
00:23:27 Guy must really take care of himself.
00:23:29 Got all his hair, too. That's what counts.
00:23:31 Man, I never looked like that
00:23:33 at 60.
00:23:35 I look like that at 20.
00:23:37 [cheering]
00:23:39 That's a nice one.
00:23:41 Come on, Will. Larry's terrific,
00:23:43 but he's only one guy.
00:23:45 Yep. We're not superstars like Larry.
00:23:47 Yeah. And what's with
00:23:49 the new team name, "Big Guns"?
00:23:51 What's the matter with kids at heart, anyway?
00:23:53 Oh, nothing. You want to remain losers.
00:23:55 Look, guys,
00:23:57 I don't know about you, but I'm going to the World Series.
00:23:59 I already bought the uniforms.
00:24:01 Now, anybody that wants out,
00:24:03 they can let me know.
00:24:05 But if you're staying, you're going to have to grow up,
00:24:07 and that means no more juvenile insults,
00:24:09 no more potty talk,
00:24:11 no more dorking around.
00:24:13 I want 120% dedication out of every one of you.
00:24:15 Okay?
00:24:17 Ball's in your court.
00:24:19 What got into him?
00:24:23 Hey, everybody.
00:24:25 I've already memorized your names,
00:24:27 so there's no need for introductions.
00:24:29 Will tell you we're going to the World Series?
00:24:31 Yeah, he did, but...
00:24:33 Barrys, we're going to do it.
00:24:35 Mark my words.
00:24:37 Now, here's something for all of you.
00:24:39 They're patches.
00:24:41 You wear them, it gives you extra endurance and strength.
00:24:43 What is it, drugs?
00:24:47 Steroids.
00:24:49 Nah, amino acids.
00:24:51 We use them all the time in the big show.
00:24:53 What's the show?
00:24:55 It's the big league, Roy. Right, Larry?
00:24:57 You've got it, Steve.
00:24:59 We're going all the way to Las Vegas.
00:25:01 [playing in bright rhythm]
00:25:03 ♪
00:25:05 ♪
00:25:07 ♪ Choo choo choo choo ♪
00:25:09 ♪ Choo wadda wadda ♪
00:25:11 ♪ Choo choo choo choo ♪
00:25:13 ♪ Choo wadda wadda ♪
00:25:15 ♪ She's got a certain little something about her ♪
00:25:17 ♪ Choo choo choo choo ♪
00:25:19 ♪ Choo choo choo choo ♪
00:25:21 ♪ Choo wadda wadda ♪
00:25:23 ♪ She's got a certain little piece of my heart ♪
00:25:25 ♪ Choo choo choo choo ♪
00:25:27 ♪ Choo wadda wadda ♪
00:25:29 ♪ She got me tinglin' and I can't stop thinkin' about her ♪
00:25:31 ♪ Choo choo choo choo ♪
00:25:33 ♪ Choo wadda wadda ♪
00:25:35 ♪ She had me fallin' for her right from the start ♪
00:25:37 ♪ Choo choo choo choo ♪
00:25:39 ♪ Choo wadda wadda ♪
00:25:41 ♪ I wouldn't let her take her hand, I can't seem to stop ♪
00:25:43 ♪ I really ought to pull her, but I know that I'm not ♪
00:25:45 ♪ She's dark and gorgeous and I'm ready to go ♪
00:25:47 ♪ Choo choo choo choo ♪
00:25:49 ♪ Choo wadda wadda ♪
00:25:51 ♪ She's got a certain little something about her ♪
00:25:53 ♪ Choo choo choo choo ♪
00:25:55 ♪ Dark and gorgeous and I'm ready to go ♪
00:25:57 ♪ I'm a mess ♪
00:25:59 ♪ I'm in love more or less ♪
00:26:01 ♪ Choo choo choo choo ♪
00:26:03 ♪ Choo wadda wadda ♪
00:26:05 ♪ She's really popular with all the fellas ♪
00:26:07 ♪ Choo choo choo choo ♪
00:26:09 ♪ Choo wadda wadda ♪
00:26:11 ♪ She causes whiplash wherever she goes ♪
00:26:13 ♪ Choo choo choo choo ♪
00:26:15 ♪ Choo wadda wadda ♪
00:26:17 ♪ She got a smile that will make 'em all laugh ♪
00:26:19 ♪ Choo choo choo choo ♪
00:26:21 ♪ Choo wadda wadda ♪
00:26:23 ♪ She's got a smile that will make 'em all be so jealous ♪
00:26:25 ♪ Choo choo choo choo ♪
00:26:27 ♪ Choo choo choo choo ♪
00:26:29 ♪ Choo wadda wadda ♪
00:26:31 ♪ She's fast, sweet and a blue ribbon rose ♪
00:26:33 ♪ Choo choo choo choo ♪
00:26:35 ♪ Choo choo choo choo ♪
00:26:37 ♪ Choo wadda wadda ♪
00:26:39 ♪ She's got a figure that looks like it's Greek ♪
00:26:41 - You playing next door again?
00:26:43 - Yeah, looks like you've been recruiting.
00:26:45 I hear you're going for it.
00:26:47 - Well, you heard right.
00:26:49 - Yeah? - All the way.
00:26:51 - You want to play a game of cards?
00:26:53 - Sure, why not? - Oh, no reason.
00:26:55 - No what? - No, okay, look.
00:26:57 I'm probably just imagining things,
00:26:59 but, um, I don't know,
00:27:01 y'all feel different.
00:27:03 - Well, sure. It's the uniforms.
00:27:05 - We--yeah. Yeah, the uniforms.
00:27:07 - Bye.
00:27:09 - Big guns.
00:27:11 Woo-hoo! Bad!
00:27:13 Bye.
00:27:15 [indistinct chatter]
00:27:17 [upbeat music]
00:27:19 ♪ ♪
00:27:21 - Larry, what are we doing down here called "Rabbit"?
00:27:23 - Trust me, this guy's the best.
00:27:25 ♪ ♪
00:27:27 He got stuff you can't even believe.
00:27:29 - What stuff?
00:27:31 ♪ ♪
00:27:33 [upbeat music]
00:27:35 ♪ ♪
00:27:37 [train whistle blows]
00:27:39 ♪ ♪
00:27:41 [upbeat music]
00:27:43 ♪ ♪
00:27:45 [train whistle blows]
00:27:47 ♪ ♪
00:27:49 [upbeat music]
00:27:51 ♪ ♪
00:27:53 [upbeat music]
00:27:55 ♪ ♪
00:27:57 - June?
00:27:59 So?
00:28:01 ♪ ♪
00:28:03 ♪ ♪
00:28:05 ♪ ♪
00:28:07 - Here it is.
00:28:09 It's got a powder shell technology
00:28:11 developed by the U.S. military.
00:28:13 - How'd you get your hands on that stuff?
00:28:15 - The Army had a surplus.
00:28:17 Bottom line, increased performance.
00:28:19 They bought everything they had.
00:28:21 These babies are pure gold.
00:28:23 Give you at least a 130-mile-per-hour ball
00:28:26 and an extra 55-feet fly.
00:28:28 - Wow.
00:28:30 Who are you?
00:28:34 - Best bat doctor in the world.
00:28:36 What do you need? Hand-loading?
00:28:38 Shaving inside for extra flex?
00:28:40 Repainting of a band high-performer
00:28:42 to make it look legal?
00:28:44 - What the...
00:28:46 Are these bats illegal?
00:28:48 - Until they ban them.
00:28:50 Right now, June is the hottest bat
00:28:52 that's just barely allowed.
00:28:54 I haven't touched him, honest.
00:28:56 - What are you talking about?
00:28:58 They're used.
00:29:00 - Hey, I'm a professional.
00:29:02 I aged it specially for you.
00:29:04 You don't want a bat to look brand new.
00:29:06 - Oh.
00:29:08 How much are they?
00:29:10 - For my buddy Larry here?
00:29:12 - Bam!
00:29:14 - 300.
00:29:16 - What, each?
00:29:18 - Each. We'll take a dozen.
00:29:20 - A dozen?
00:29:22 - If you want to win.
00:29:24 Bam!
00:29:26 - God.
00:29:28 - Okay, um...
00:29:30 Like you said.
00:29:32 A dozen.
00:29:34 [upbeat jazz music]
00:29:36 ♪ ♪
00:29:38 [all shouting]
00:29:40 - That's it.
00:29:42 - Come on, Will.
00:29:44 - Yeah, we cooperated with these bozos last time.
00:29:46 - Hey, these are the guys that hurt Mel.
00:29:48 - Yeah, payback time.
00:29:50 ♪ ♪
00:29:52 - Hold on.
00:29:54 - Flat. Bring it up.
00:29:56 - Winning run on third.
00:29:58 Will, come on.
00:30:00 ♪ ♪
00:30:02 [all shouting]
00:30:04 - Go, go, go.
00:30:06 - They shouldn't have done that to Mel.
00:30:08 - They shouldn't have done that to Mel.
00:30:10 [all shouting]
00:30:12 - First win, baby.
00:30:14 First win.
00:30:16 [all shouting]
00:30:18 ♪ ♪
00:30:20 - You all right, Stanley?
00:30:22 - You did that on purpose?
00:30:26 - You know, your team had it coming.
00:30:28 - Will, you really don't think
00:30:30 that hit the ball to Mel just to hurt him, do you?
00:30:32 - I don't know.
00:30:36 But the guys think you did,
00:30:38 and that's all that counts.
00:30:40 ♪ ♪
00:30:52 - ♪ Play and you win or play and you lose ♪
00:30:56 ♪ We just want to shake our blues ♪
00:31:00 ♪ Play in the game, that's the isle someday ♪
00:31:04 ♪ She's gonna give you the news ♪
00:31:08 ♪ Play it to win or play it to lose ♪
00:31:12 ♪ The blues, the blues ♪
00:31:16 ♪ Sometimes you hit and sometimes you miss ♪
00:31:20 ♪ Maybe that dame will give you a kiss ♪
00:31:24 ♪ Sometimes you got it, sometimes you don't ♪
00:31:28 ♪ You gotta call it either way ♪
00:31:32 ♪ Play it to win or play it to lose ♪
00:31:36 ♪ The blues, the blues ♪
00:31:40 ♪ Hit the ball out or lay down a bunt ♪
00:31:44 ♪ You gotta swing early, meet it in court ♪
00:31:48 ♪ Give her a smile and tip her your cap ♪
00:31:52 ♪ Maybe that dame will give you a slap ♪
00:31:56 ♪ Play it to win or play it to lose ♪
00:32:00 ♪ The blues, the blues ♪
00:32:04 ♪ Imagine that you can strap your gates on ♪
00:32:08 ♪ It's gonna be a fine, fine day ♪
00:32:12 ♪ Play it to win or play it to lose ♪
00:32:16 ♪ The blues, the blues ♪
00:32:20 ♪ Play it to win or play it to lose ♪
00:32:24 ♪ The blues, the blues ♪
00:32:28 ♪ Play it to win or play it to lose ♪
00:32:32 ♪ The blues ♪
00:32:36 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪
00:32:40 Are you sure, Bobby?
00:32:44 My back will. I can't take this kind of play.
00:32:48 Doctor says I'm out.
00:32:52 You sure that's all?
00:32:56 What else would it be? You know, some guys got bad backs.
00:33:00 I can't be the same without you.
00:33:04 It hasn't been the same for a while, Will.
00:33:08 Goodbye.
00:33:12 [birds chirping]
00:33:16 [music]
00:33:20 I'm gonna go to church tomorrow, honey. Do you wanna come?
00:33:36 I got a big game in Tulare tomorrow.
00:33:40 Dad, did you know what Friday was?
00:33:44 I told you it wasn't important, sweetie.
00:33:48 But it is important, Mom. And he forgot.
00:33:52 What? Look at him. He still doesn't know.
00:33:56 What? Friday? What was Friday?
00:34:00 Your anniversary, which you forgot.
00:34:04 It was a playoff game. You know I couldn't miss that.
00:34:08 I'll make it up to you. I promise.
00:34:12 You know, you're not the same anymore. You're never home.
00:34:16 I gotta go.
00:34:20 I can't believe who the Dodgers have traded away. God damn it.
00:34:36 Do not use that expression.
00:34:40 What? What expression?
00:34:44 If you ever use that expression again, you're gone. You understand me?
00:34:48 All right, all right, Will.
00:34:52 Geez, it just slipped out.
00:34:56 Will says that God's last name is not "Damn."
00:35:00 I agree with that. I mean, I don't agree with things Will always does.
00:35:04 For instance,
00:35:08 the way he runs this team.
00:35:12 Come on, Barry, let's go. Now's your time to shine.
00:35:20 Let's go. Do something.
00:35:24 Take three, man.
00:35:28 I was slow as you at hitchhiking.
00:35:32 You're not alone. Give him some respect. He just hit a triple.
00:35:36 Hey, not funny. Definitely not funny.
00:35:40 You sound like a rube. Get a grip.
00:35:44 How's it going, guys? How's everyone doing?
00:35:56 Did you guys get anything to drink yet? Has anyone ever helped you?
00:36:00 First week, actually. It's a little rough.
00:36:04 As you guys can see, it's really busy right now.
00:36:08 So I walk up to the car, and she
00:36:12 rolls down the window, and guess what?
00:36:16 She's got her skirt hiked up so high.
00:36:20 She's got everything south of the border exposed.
00:36:24 I mean, I'm looking from Nebraska to Mexico.
00:36:28 I really don't like your mouth. Josh, not here.
00:36:32 Come on, you want a lawsuit? He's not worth it.
00:36:36 Come on, let's just go.
00:36:40 Woo! What ate him?
00:36:48 I saw that guy on TV. He's a professional wrestler.
00:36:52 Professionals don't fight amateurs. They got too much to lose.
00:36:56 Larry, are you trying to make a point that we're amateurs?
00:37:00 Will, let it go. Let it go.
00:37:04 No. What I'm saying is that we will not get to the real series unless we make some changes.
00:37:08 Like losing some players.
00:37:12 Like we did that Bobby Morelli.
00:37:16 Look, Bobby Morelli bowed out because of his back. Everybody knows that.
00:37:20 Whatever. He should have been gone long ago.
00:37:24 I think he's going to need to bow out too. Just who do you have in mind, Larry?
00:37:28 They know who they are. Anybody not hitting 600 or better
00:37:32 is not tournament material. End of story.
00:37:36 Guess that'd be me for one, Larry.
00:37:40 Hey, no hard feelings, guys.
00:37:44 Jimmy and Rory averaging an inning of outs per game.
00:37:48 We're entering the playoffs. I've seen the level of players we're going to face.
00:37:52 And I say that we started this together and we're going to finish it together.
00:37:56 Hey, Will, this is not personal.
00:38:00 If you want to win, we need to make changes.
00:38:04 I think we're doing all right. I got two buddies.
00:38:08 Andy Dupar, Randy Adams.
00:38:12 They both made AAA, got great power. You're going to love these guys.
00:38:16 It's not going to work, Larry, because they were not rostered when we qualified.
00:38:20 I got that figured out.
00:38:24 Bobby and Mel are gone. We're bringing them in under the medical injury clause.
00:38:28 They're two openings. What do you say about that, Will?
00:38:32 I say that we're not out to win at all costs here.
00:38:36 Well, uh, maybe we need to
00:38:40 have a new manager. You know,
00:38:44 someone who's not afraid of a little competition.
00:38:48 Maybe Larry's right. We're going to face tougher teams.
00:38:52 Yeah, maybe we ought to shift gears here, Will. After all, we got a real shot.
00:38:56 This is...
00:39:00 Is that what you guys want? You said you wanted to go to the World Series, Will.
00:39:04 All right.
00:39:08 I won't stop you.
00:39:12 [music]
00:39:16 Andy, it's Larry. It's a go.
00:39:28 Call Randy. You're both on. Yeah.
00:39:32 [music]
00:39:36 [music]
00:39:40 [music]
00:39:44 [music]
00:39:48 [music]
00:39:52 Shots, my man! We've got reinforcement!
00:39:56 [music]
00:40:00 [music]
00:40:04 [music]
00:40:08 ♪ I'll be gone ♪
00:40:09 - Well, I don't ever bet sixth.
00:40:13 What is this, some kind of mistake here?
00:40:16 I always bet fifth.
00:40:17 - Well, there's the man to talk to, Mac.
00:40:21 - He's not the manager I am, and I say you bet sixth today.
00:40:29 Randy's three, I bet four, and he's five.
00:40:33 - I'm out of here.
00:40:35 Nobody bets me sixth.
00:40:38 - Quit whining.
00:40:39 - You bet where I tell you to bet, I run this team.
00:40:41 - You don't know nothing about ball.
00:40:44 Nobody bets me sixth.
00:40:45 ♪ Big guns gonna shoot you down ♪
00:40:50 ♪ You know you're in trouble ♪
00:40:54 ♪ We'll shoot out your lights now ♪
00:40:56 ♪ Big guns gonna shoot you down ♪
00:41:00 ♪ Big guns gonna come after you ♪
00:41:04 ♪ Big guns, we know what to do with our big guns ♪
00:41:09 - $300.
00:41:12 (upbeat music)
00:41:14,
00:41:37 - Go for it, man, you're on.
00:41:40 - I can't, I think my leg fell off.
00:41:42 - Yeah, he's drinking again.
00:41:44 - Yeah, like a tuna.
00:41:45 - I don't know how you drink that stuff
00:41:58 and still get up and play in the morning.
00:42:00 - You know, it's nothing like a little vodka
00:42:06 to cleanse the palate.
00:42:07 - Yeah, well, you better show up ready to play tomorrow.
00:42:13 - When was I ever unable to play?
00:42:14 - Today.
00:42:15 - Oh yeah, yeah, but it was hot.
00:42:21 I mean, it was Death Valley hot, man,
00:42:23 120 freaking degrees in the shade.
00:42:25 I had heat exhaustion.
00:42:27 And besides, I left the leg back there.
00:42:31 - Yeah, puked all over the field.
00:42:33 They had to delay the game to clean it up.
00:42:35 - Hey, Larry.
00:42:39 Hey, Larry, want a beer?
00:42:41 - No thanks, Rick, never drank.
00:42:43 - Listen, Steve, you were swinging for the fence today.
00:42:49 Just relax.
00:42:50 - Well, I was batting last.
00:42:52 I guess I'm just trying too hard.
00:42:54 - Well, just keep trying to get past first base.
00:42:57 - You did good, Stevie, two for four.
00:43:00 - Hey, Larry kinda did okay.
00:43:04 Four for four out there today?
00:43:06 Keep trying, guy.
00:43:10 - Dream rises to the top, right, Will?
00:43:12 You know, I admire the fact that you're still
00:43:17 hanging around after what happened to you.
00:43:19 - Well, I started this team, Larry,
00:43:23 so I'd like my ring too.
00:43:25 - Yeah.
00:43:28 - Hi, honey buns, gonna catch some sun?
00:43:37 - Honey, put some on my buns.
00:43:38 - Sure.
00:43:40 - Have time?
00:43:41 - Don't get it in my hair.
00:43:45 - Gotta say it again, Steve, you're one lucky guy.
00:43:51 Drool attracts flies.
00:43:55 - You gotta admit, she's something to look at.
00:43:58 - She's pretty smart too.
00:44:00 - Hey, teammates' girlfriends are bad business, Rick.
00:44:04 - Don't worry about me, coach, I'm here to play.
00:44:06 - That's what we're worried about.
00:44:10 - I have to go to the little girl's room.
00:44:12 - Right over there, honey.
00:44:13 - Maybe I should wait.
00:44:17 No, I have to go now.
00:44:19 - Where are you going, toad eyes?
00:44:38 - Hey, I gotta take a leak.
00:44:40 You wanna come watch me mirror head?
00:44:42 - Hey, Will, we're going for ice cream.
00:44:50 You wanna come along?
00:44:51 - Maybe some other time.
00:45:06 - Steve's suspicious.
00:45:09 - He should be.
00:45:09 - Look at those tight little tushies.
00:45:35 - Hot, what a field of hot butts.
00:45:38 - You play with hot flashes?
00:45:40 That Sally's team?
00:45:42 - You know Sally?
00:45:43 - Well, yeah, we met.
00:45:45 I'm Will Fox.
00:45:46 - Oh, so you're Fox.
00:45:50 - Yeah.
00:45:52 Is Sally around?
00:45:55 - Around?
00:45:56 Yeah, Sally's around.
00:45:58 See ya, Fox.
00:46:00 - Later.
00:46:01 - Later.
00:46:02 - Sally.
00:46:14 - Hi, Will.
00:46:15 - You look great.
00:46:17 - You know what?
00:46:20 Before it gets out.
00:46:21 - About what?
00:46:24 - Can we talk?
00:46:25 - So, how is it?
00:46:30 - Will you join me?
00:46:32 - I don't drink.
00:46:33 - Never?
00:46:34 - Not in four years.
00:46:37 I was drunk when Elizabeth was killed.
00:46:39 - So you blame yourself?
00:46:43 - Elizabeth wanted to drive and I wouldn't let her.
00:46:48 Just something I have to live with myself.
00:46:54 - Live?
00:46:55 You're like the walking dead.
00:46:59 - Now, listen Will, I'm sorry,
00:47:01 but what I have to tell you has no spin on it.
00:47:05 - What?
00:47:09 - You have underage players on your team.
00:47:10 - You sure?
00:47:14 - No, but it's enough of a complaint from the other teams
00:47:19 that the Senior Softball Administration's investigating.
00:47:22 So, no, listen, bottom line here, Will,
00:47:25 is that the other coaches think you play some dirty ball.
00:47:28 - Okay, I admit that we get a little rowdy.
00:47:30 I mean, I'm surprised at it myself.
00:47:32 I mean, all these years we're playing together and...
00:47:34 It just got too intense.
00:47:38 - That's bullshit.
00:47:41 What's happening to you, Will?
00:47:44 You can't wanna win this bad.
00:47:48 - This isn't about winning.
00:47:52 I got a chance to feel good about myself again
00:47:55 and I'm gonna take it.
00:47:57 - But this isn't just about you, Will.
00:47:59 You have a whole team to think about.
00:48:02 - I'm no longer the coach.
00:48:07 I got fired.
00:48:09 - That also means you forgot what's right.
00:48:14 You know what?
00:48:17 I guess I had you figured out wrong.
00:48:19 Goodbye, Will.
00:48:22 - Wait a minute, Sally.
00:48:23 (upbeat music)
00:48:26 (players cheering)
00:48:42 - Larry, where's your Andy and Randy?
00:48:47 Now that we need them.
00:48:48 - Don't worry about it.
00:48:51 Like I told you, you're out of time on the court.
00:48:53 - Business.
00:48:54 - Oh, business.
00:48:55 - Yeah, business.
00:48:56 - Win it for us!
00:48:58 - Come on, Barry, put three down.
00:49:00 Let's go, do it now, we need you.
00:49:03 Come on, focus.
00:49:04 - Hey, Tom, you're on deck, go swing.
00:49:11 - No need to after Barry hits this one.
00:49:14 - Yeah, I wouldn't count on it.
00:49:21 (players cheering)
00:49:24 - Larry battered him eight.
00:49:26 Right where we needed him.
00:49:28 - Oh yeah, Larry and his crystal ball, huh?
00:49:30 - There he is!
00:49:34 (players cheering)
00:49:37 - Come on, Barry, you can do it, you can do it!
00:49:45 - Hold it, Barry!
00:49:46 Come on, Barry, come on, move it, move it!
00:49:48 Gotta be a perfect throw, let's go, go!
00:49:51 (players cheering)
00:49:53 - Yeah, not bad for an error.
00:50:00 - An error?
00:50:03 Who scored that?
00:50:04 - In park home run, Barry, and it was beautiful.
00:50:06 - I don't think so.
00:50:07 The right center fielder got his glove on it.
00:50:09 - It was a home run.
00:50:11 - I rule we put in a book as an error, all the way.
00:50:14 - Looks like it's the big E, Barry.
00:50:16 - Don't worry about it, Barry.
00:50:17 Ever since Randy and Andy joined this team,
00:50:19 it was about time one of us did something.
00:50:22 - They don't even know us anymore.
00:50:24 We used to have generous hearts.
00:50:26 - Yeah, it doesn't matter, you did it!
00:50:28 - Come on, we won, we did it!
00:50:31 - Hey guys, let's focus on a real series.
00:50:33 You played a great game.
00:50:35 We're going to Las Vegas.
00:50:36 - Let's do the walk, they're waiting.
00:50:38 - I know what you did behind my back, you turd.
00:50:44 - If you can't control your woman, it's not my fault.
00:50:47 (team cheering)
00:50:50 (team cheering)
00:50:53 (team cheering)
00:50:55 (upbeat music)
00:51:14 (upbeat music)
00:51:17 - Hey guys, we made it, we're here,
00:51:34 we're in the World Series.
00:51:36 - Yeah.
00:51:37 - I can't believe we did this.
00:51:38 - We didn't do this.
00:51:40 - I better go check us in.
00:51:44 (upbeat music)
00:51:46 - Fox, hey.
00:52:04 Hey John.
00:52:07 - You know, you're giving senior softball a bad name here.
00:52:10 - What is that supposed to mean?
00:52:13 - I don't know, suppose you tell me.
00:52:14 - You know, you're a sore loser, John.
00:52:19 You've always been.
00:52:20 - True, I don't like to lose,
00:52:22 but other teams play decent, they're gentlemen.
00:52:24 They don't cheat.
00:52:25 - What is that supposed to mean?
00:52:28 - As if you didn't know.
00:52:29 - This is it.
00:52:36 - Where they play the World Series.
00:52:38 - Those fences are blue monsters.
00:52:41 - That diamond, it's huge too.
00:52:44 - That's 'cause it's a freaking baseball park.
00:52:46 - You're right, look at those fences,
00:52:48 they're over 400 feet.
00:52:49 - No problem.
00:52:50 - Not for you maybe.
00:52:52 - Are you sure this is where we're gonna play?
00:52:54 - They use it every year for the Senior World Series.
00:52:57 As sacred as Yankee Stadium.
00:52:59 - You been here before, Larry?
00:53:01 - In my dreams, Andy, in my dreams.
00:53:04 Now I'm here.
00:53:06 - I just think we're gonna win it.
00:53:10 - This place is for champions, okay, it's special.
00:53:13 Look, we start tomorrow, it's gonna be great.
00:53:16 - We drew the desert storm first.
00:53:18 - We're the current world champions?
00:53:21 - They were.
00:53:22 (laughing)
00:53:25 - Hey Maestro, where's your dish?
00:53:28 - Not here, you wanna know why?
00:53:30 - Yeah, what?
00:53:31 - We split up, you backstabbing piece of slime scum.
00:53:35 - Hey, maybe I just like to give a girl
00:53:37 a little satisfaction that's not getting any.
00:53:39 (shouting)
00:53:41 - That's good, let 'em go at it.
00:53:45 - Taste blood, just like in a big show.
00:53:50 Get some rest.
00:53:53 Meet you at 8 a.m. sharp.
00:53:56 - What are you looking surprised for?
00:54:04 You made this mess.
00:54:08 (birds chirping)
00:54:11 (soft piano music)
00:54:21 (soft piano music)
00:54:24 (soft piano music)
00:54:27 (soft piano music)
00:54:30 (soft piano music)
00:54:33 (soft piano music)
00:54:36 (door slams)
00:55:00 (soft piano music)
00:55:02 (soft piano music)
00:55:05 - Hey, you too, huh Will?
00:55:08 You'd like the older I get, the more I gotta go.
00:55:12 - I need to know if we're carrying legal players, Larry.
00:55:16 - You saw my birth certificate, it says I'm 60.
00:55:18 I could play at 60, can't I?
00:55:20 - Did you doctor your birth certificate, Larry?
00:55:22 - Watch it, Will, that's a cheap shot.
00:55:25 - Answer me, answer me.
00:55:28 - The answer's no.
00:55:29 (phone ringing)
00:55:31 - Hello?
00:55:33 Huh, people use us as examples.
00:55:35 What about your Randy and your Randy?
00:55:46 They're legal too.
00:55:47 All right, that's enough.
00:55:50 You wanna stick around to play vibe, remember.
00:55:53 You're not ready to see me.
00:55:54 - You're not gonna believe what I'm hearing here.
00:55:55 You gotta hold on.
00:55:57 I'm gonna ask you a question.
00:55:59 What about Andy and Randy?
00:56:01 - What about, look, I know they're underage.
00:56:03 Did you falsify their documents?
00:56:05 - We'll drop 'em, but we'll keep on playing.
00:56:08 I need this.
00:56:09 Stop being a quitter.
00:56:12 - I won't know, I'll let Larry.
00:56:16 44 or 47, what's it to you?
00:56:24 (soft piano music)
00:56:27 We had it, you had it.
00:56:33 Why, why?
00:56:37 You wouldn't understand.
00:56:41 You didn't need this.
00:56:44 You didn't need to win like I did.
00:56:47 I was a can't miss first round draft choice.
00:56:52 My rookie year, I had the highest batting average.
00:56:56 The most home runs, most rubs batted in.
00:56:58 The best felting percentage, the slugging percentage.
00:57:02 And I didn't win the rookie of the year award.
00:57:05 Some guy from the Dominican Republic
00:57:09 with an infectious kiss-ass smile did.
00:57:13 I was robbed.
00:57:14 But you know, I had a son.
00:57:18 And he said he died.
00:57:22 His name was Robert.
00:57:23 I was supposed to pick him up from school,
00:57:29 and I was late.
00:57:30 I feel responsible.
00:57:37 It's eating me.
00:57:39 My wife's gonna leave me.
00:57:43 She says I don't have any feeling anymore,
00:57:48 but I can't, just can't reach out.
00:57:52 She's scared of me.
00:57:55 She says that the anger that I have inside me
00:57:58 that's boiling, makes her scared.
00:58:02 She's scared of my wife.
00:58:03 She's gonna divorce me.
00:58:05 Everything's gone.
00:58:10 I'm sinking like in quicksand.
00:58:17 Will, this was my last chance to win something.
00:58:22 I need this.
00:58:27 I never got to be what I knew I could have been.
00:58:38 Come on.
00:58:41 (somber music)
00:58:44 Will!
00:58:56 - Did you tell anybody what I said or did here today?
00:59:00 - I'll pound you in the ground like a spike.
00:59:04 You're a quitter.
00:59:06 You're a loser.
00:59:08 You're nothing.
00:59:09 You came after me, Will.
00:59:11 (somber music)
00:59:14 Oh, dear God.
00:59:24 (somber music)
00:59:27 (water dripping)
00:59:29 (somber music)
00:59:32 (water dripping)
00:59:35 (somber music)
00:59:37 - Hey, Will.
01:00:04 - Hey, John.
01:00:05 - Hey, John.
01:00:06 - How's it going?
01:00:07 - Good.
01:00:08 - Good.
01:00:08 - What's going on?
01:00:09 - Nothing, just a little bit of work.
01:00:11 - What work?
01:00:11 - The beginning of another World Series.
01:00:13 Still the same old paperwork.
01:00:18 John said you called him.
01:00:27 Said you got something to tell us.
01:00:29 - Right.
01:00:30 Yeah, we already knew that.
01:00:32 - You do?
01:00:33 - I won't know any, Larry.
01:00:41 44 or 47, what's it to you?
01:00:49 - You should've checked who else was in the bathroom.
01:00:59 - I guess the question for me is, Will,
01:01:01 when did you know about him?
01:01:04 - I had my suspicions.
01:01:07 - Yeah, and yet you did nothing about it.
01:01:09 - No.
01:01:12 - Guess the good news is
01:01:14 that you finally made it to the World Series.
01:01:17 You're all set to play the defending champions,
01:01:19 Desert Storm, tomorrow.
01:01:20 Bad news is you're disqualified.
01:01:25 - Yeah, and don't give us that excuse
01:01:26 that you weren't the coach.
01:01:27 You were the coach on record.
01:01:29 - It was your responsibility.
01:01:30 - Then hang me, me out the dry, not the whole team.
01:01:34 - I'm banning the entire team of big guns
01:01:36 from playing for life.
01:01:37 - But why?
01:01:38 It was all my idea.
01:01:39 - They knew.
01:01:40 I suspected.
01:01:43 Just like you did.
01:01:44 I just don't get it, Will.
01:01:52 Why do you wait to come in now?
01:01:54 I mean, you could've said this
01:01:58 before the whole team got to Las Vegas
01:02:00 and got their hopes up.
01:02:01 Why did you wait?
01:02:03 - I was chasing a dream.
01:02:08 A dream.
01:02:13 I'm sorry.
01:02:22 I'm really sorry.
01:02:25 (soft piano music)
01:02:28 ♪ It's not the highest scoring ♪
01:02:32 ♪ You don't have the biggest guys ♪
01:02:35 ♪ Some people call it boring ♪
01:02:39 ♪ But when you play it beneath blue skies ♪
01:02:43 ♪ It's perfect, perfect, perfect ♪
01:02:47 ♪ The game that I am high on ♪
01:02:50 ♪ Perfect, perfect, perfect ♪
01:02:53 ♪ A game you can rely on ♪
01:02:56 ♪ To be the same on every field ♪
01:03:00 ♪ From here to Maine ♪
01:03:03 ♪ To be so fair is all American ♪
01:03:07 ♪ That's for sure ♪
01:03:10 ♪ It's not the highest scoring ♪
01:03:13 ♪ You don't have the biggest guys ♪
01:03:16 ♪ Some people call it boring ♪
01:03:20 ♪ But when you play it beneath blue skies ♪
01:03:25 ♪ It's perfect, perfect, perfect ♪
01:03:29 ♪ Perfect, perfect, perfect ♪
01:03:32 ♪ Perfect, perfect, perfect ♪
01:03:36 ♪ Perfect, perfect, perfect ♪
01:03:40 - We were eating dinner when John Tanner called.
01:03:45 - Yeah, to gloat.
01:03:46 - Said, "Hey, what do you know?
01:03:49 We freaking cheated."
01:03:52 - You said we're banned for life?
01:03:54 - Yeah, I said that Andy and Randy were both underage?
01:03:58 - Yeah, where's Larry, Andy, and Randy?
01:04:00 - They're gone.
01:04:03 - Oh, so you forfeited just like you always do.
01:04:06 - I had to.
01:04:07 Look, how do you think I feel?
01:04:09 I screwed up and I lost too.
01:04:12 - Big man, who gave you the right?
01:04:14 You're not even the coach.
01:04:16 - Yeah, who made you in charge?
01:04:19 - We had a shot.
01:04:20 - You messed it up, you jerk.
01:04:22 (crowd cheering)
01:04:26 - You're off the team.
01:04:27 - You knew, you all knew.
01:04:30 None of us were innocent.
01:04:34 We all got what we deserved.
01:04:35 And the worst thing is,
01:04:38 not that we lost our shot at the World Series,
01:04:40 we lost our friendships.
01:04:43 (crowd cheering)
01:04:46 (crowd cheering)
01:04:50 (crowd cheering)
01:04:55 (laughing)
01:04:59 - Hey, hey, hey, Roy, now's not the time.
01:05:03 - Will was right.
01:05:04 We all got what we deserved.
01:05:06 We were ridiculous.
01:05:08 - Bunch of cretins.
01:05:09 (laughing)
01:05:11 - Come to think of it, we have been acting like nutcases.
01:05:15 What happened to us?
01:05:16 - We forgot what it was all about.
01:05:18 (laughing)
01:05:20 - Man, we went bonkers.
01:05:22 (laughing)
01:05:24 - Yeah, who were we?
01:05:25 (laughing)
01:05:28 - You know, we were idiots, condom nose.
01:05:37 - Yeah, 1,000 times.
01:05:40 - Yeah, 1,000%, butt-on-cheeks, elephant gas.
01:05:45 - Bowling ball.
01:05:47 - Snag my cheese.
01:05:48 - Oh.
01:05:49 - It does fit one of us pig nuts.
01:05:52 - Right, bean brain.
01:05:55 - Yeah, you been thinking with your little head there,
01:05:57 jerk-off?
01:05:58 - Apologize to Steve, you freaking girlfriend thief.
01:06:02 - Oh yeah, he's probably already got another one.
01:06:06 - Rick.
01:06:07 - Okay, big brother.
01:06:10 - Yeah, it's not cool.
01:06:12 All right, all right, this is hard,
01:06:15 but I was wrong, and I'm sorry.
01:06:20 - I forgive you, dickhead.
01:06:26 But hey, how are you and Lenora getting along?
01:06:29 - If it's any consolation, she split.
01:06:32 She found out what wasn't in my bank account.
01:06:35 - Well, seems like we're back to normal.
01:06:40 Let's go home.
01:06:40 - No way, we have some business to attend to.
01:06:43 - Yeah, now what?
01:07:06 - It is our professional diagnosis
01:07:09 that the doc here is depressed.
01:07:11 - Arrested in time, isolated, alienated.
01:07:15 - Removed from society.
01:07:17 - Fact is, Will, you got issues.
01:07:20 - Uh-huh, yeah, we decided you gotta change.
01:07:24 - If you want to rejoin the team, that is.
01:07:26 - You would take me back?
01:07:29 (group chattering)
01:07:31 - Hey, hey, Will, wait, wait, wait, Will, wait.
01:07:33 We all agree you can come back on one condition.
01:07:38 - You have to tell a joke.
01:07:40 - A joke?
01:07:40 I mean, right here, now?
01:07:46 - That's right.
01:07:47 You could just insult somebody,
01:07:49 just so long as it's funny.
01:07:50 - Yeah, you can even make fun of my hair.
01:07:53 - It won't bother me.
01:07:54 - Concentrate, Will, you can do it.
01:07:57 - Look, guys, he's having a breakdown.
01:08:00 He can't do it.
01:08:02 - It's okay, Will.
01:08:03 You know, some people have it, some don't.
01:08:05 Maybe you were born a quitter.
01:08:07 - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:08:09 Wait, wait, wait, I'll try.
01:08:12 If, no, your, yeah, your mother is so ugly,
01:08:17 she could make an onion cry.
01:08:21 (group chattering)
01:08:23 This is good, this is good.
01:08:29 Oh yeah, if ignorance is bliss,
01:08:32 then you people must be the,
01:08:36 you people must be the ugliest people in the world.
01:08:40 Pathetic.
01:08:42 - Dead on arrival.
01:08:43 - Hopeless.
01:08:44 - A real stinker.
01:08:45 - Hey, I got an idea.
01:08:47 We want Will to change, right?
01:08:49 - Yeah, and loosen up.
01:08:51 - 'Cause we're the kings of loose.
01:08:53 - So, what you got in mind there, hippo handles?
01:08:57 - Hey, okay, okay.
01:08:59 What causes humiliation, confusion, physical sweats,
01:09:04 and a drain on your hard-earned bucks?
01:09:08 - Lactologist.
01:09:09 - No, love.
01:09:11 ♪ Yesterdays ♪
01:09:18 ♪ Don't set for another day ♪
01:09:21 - Hey, guys.
01:09:29 - Hey, what's going on here?
01:09:30 You guys were in Vegas in the World Series.
01:09:32 - We got disqualified for cheating.
01:09:34 - I'm not surprised.
01:09:36 - Hey, wait a minute.
01:09:37 We drove straight here from Vegas.
01:09:41 - You guys came all the way from Vegas.
01:09:42 Why?
01:09:44 I think we said our goodbyes.
01:09:54 - Sally, it was Will who told the truth.
01:09:59 He got us disqualified.
01:10:00 - Hi.
01:10:05 Sally, you were right.
01:10:11 After Elizabeth died, I gave up.
01:10:14 - Amen.
01:10:14 - Stopping someone as lovely and as wonderful as you
01:10:22 from entering my life makes me a real loser.
01:10:27 - A real twerp.
01:10:28 - I'm getting back.
01:10:30 - Fuck it.
01:10:31 - He's inbound.
01:10:32 - Oh.
01:10:33 - Sally?
01:10:37 Sally, will you give me a second chance, please?
01:10:44 - What about your wife, Elizabeth?
01:10:51 - Someday in the future, I'll lie next to Elizabeth.
01:10:55 Until then, friends.
01:10:57 - Friends?
01:10:58 You mean like girlfriend?
01:10:59 - Yeah, you know, like going steady.
01:11:02 - Steady?
01:11:03 - Well, okay, maybe mercy steady.
01:11:08 - Please.
01:11:13 - Shut up.
01:11:15 (all laughing)
01:11:18 - Thanks.
01:11:19 - Way to go, Will.
01:11:20 - All right, good job, Will.
01:11:21 - Bye, guys, bye, bye.
01:11:26 - You won.
01:11:27 - No, we lost.
01:11:31 - No, Will, you won.
01:11:33 You all won.
01:11:36 - Hey, not bad, ladies.
01:11:39 - Yeah, we got a lot of potential.
01:11:41 - Stick around, boys, you ain't seen nothing yet.
01:11:44 (all laughing)
01:11:47 - You know, one more thing, Will.
01:11:48 When you're lying next to Elizabeth someday,
01:11:52 I'll be next to Alfred.
01:11:55 (upbeat music)
01:11:57 - Alfred?
01:11:59 - Yeah, my previous husband.
01:12:02 - I didn't know you were married.
01:12:04 - Oh, yeah, 18 years.
01:12:07 He played second.
01:12:11 I hit short.
01:12:13 - Hey, hey.
01:12:18 - What?
01:12:19 - We need a shortstop, you any good?
01:12:23 - Yeah, just wait.
01:12:25 - How did your Alfred die?
01:12:33 - Turning a double.
01:12:36 - Did he make the play?
01:12:40 - You bet, with a smile.
01:12:43 He died living.
01:12:45 - What a way to go.
01:12:53 (laughing)
01:12:55 - So, with a few additions, we were back playing for fun.
01:13:04 - Batter, batter, batter, batter.
01:13:07 - Come on, Sally, you're killing us.
01:13:09 - Yeah, any time this year.
01:13:11 - You know what, zip your pie holes.
01:13:13 Can't you see I'm busy here, you freaks of nature?
01:13:16 - Hey, freak of nature, not bad, all right.
01:13:18 - She's got a long way to go.
01:13:20 - I don't think so, just watch her back, potato head.
01:13:23 - Hey, hey, Mildred, you have class.
01:13:25 - Hey, Buster, remember, we have a date for bingo later.
01:13:29 - Hey, forget bingo, we're going to Paris, beautiful.
01:13:32 - Hey, I like your style.
01:13:34 - Watch out for him, Ruth, he's fast.
01:13:36 - I like that, too.
01:13:37 - All right, Sally.
01:13:40 Okay, two outs, game tied, and the Saks are in.
01:13:43 - And what'd they do, coach?
01:13:45 - Go for it.
01:13:47 - Yeah, but wouldn't it be safer just to get on?
01:13:49 - Yeah, but our team hangs loose, remember?
01:13:51 - I love it when you talk like that.
01:13:53 - Let's go.
01:13:54 - Let us go.
01:13:55 - Come on, Sally.
01:13:57 - Come on, come on, coach.
01:13:59 ♪ When you stand tall ♪
01:14:01 - You know, I got a feeling about next season.
01:14:04 - Barry, you've always got a feeling.
01:14:06 - Hey, guys, anyone need to remind you,
01:14:09 we just got banned for life.
01:14:11 - That was for the big guns.
01:14:13 - And now, we'll call ourselves the cream puffs.
01:14:18 - The cream puffs.
01:14:19 ♪ We are the home games all of the line ♪
01:14:22 - Hey, she hit the ball.
01:14:24 (team cheering)
01:14:25 - Boy, can she hit.
01:14:27 (team cheering)
01:14:31 - Cream puffs, that has possibilities.
01:14:39 (team cheering)
01:14:42 (upbeat music)
01:14:45 - Nice poke.
01:14:49 - Yeah, well, I always listen to my coach.
01:14:52 (upbeat music)
01:14:54 (upbeat music)
01:15:01 - Good swing.
01:15:06 (upbeat music)
01:15:08 (upbeat music)
01:15:11 - Neither is Jerry.
01:15:33 (upbeat music)
01:15:36 (upbeat music)
01:15:38 - Is that better?
01:15:49 (upbeat music)
01:15:51 - Cameras are all there.
01:16:05 - Definitely not funny.
01:16:07 - Oh.
01:16:08 (laughing)
01:16:12 - And I don't want any more dorking around.
01:16:17 - Just think about it.
01:16:22 - Winner right on third, Mel, come on.
01:16:25 - Did I say Mel again?
01:16:26 - Yeah, you did.
01:16:27 - That's a sign.
01:16:30 - Cut.
01:16:33 (laughing)
01:16:36 - Cut.
01:16:47 - That was real.
01:16:50 (upbeat music)
01:16:53 - Hey, Barry, everybody thinks we're pushovers.
01:17:00 - You're stepping on my line.
01:17:01 - Uh oh.
01:17:03 - What's the show?
01:17:04 - The Big League, Larry.
01:17:06 - Right, Roy?
01:17:07 (laughing)
01:17:09 - Okay, let Mel talk.
01:17:15 Tell us everything you know, Mel.
01:17:16 - It'll only take about 10 seconds.
01:17:18 (laughing)
01:17:21 - Think he's legal, Will?
01:17:23 - About what?
01:17:25 - Maybe it was teensy weensy from the beginning, Mel.
01:17:31 - You ever think of that?
01:17:32 - Cut.
01:17:36 - Yes, I have.
01:17:37 (laughing)
01:17:39 - Action.
01:17:41 (laughing)
01:17:47 - Action.
01:17:55 - Hey, maestro.
01:17:56 - Where's your girl?
01:17:57 - You're finished.
01:17:57 (laughing)
01:17:59 - There you go, you got the girl.
01:18:01 (clapping)
01:18:02 I told you I got the girl in there.
01:18:03 (laughing)
01:18:05 - World series, wow.
01:18:08 That's hard work.
01:18:15 No, I can't.
01:18:18 (laughing)
01:18:21 - That's good.
01:18:24 - Oh, man.
01:18:29 - Ooh.
01:18:30 - Sounds like he's gossiping.
01:18:35 - Cut.
01:18:42 Oh, is it gonna be a lead in?
01:18:47 - Come on.
01:18:49 - Okay, okay, okay.
01:18:50 - You said it.
01:18:50 - No, no, no, no, no.
01:18:53 I didn't mean, I wasn't, I wasn't saying.
01:18:55 - Cut.
01:18:56 - No, no, no.
01:18:57 (laughing)
01:18:59 - I wasn't gonna say cut.
01:19:04 - Okay, action.
01:19:06 - Cut.
01:19:10 (laughing)
01:19:12 (upbeat music)
01:19:15 (whistling)
01:19:17 (upbeat music)
01:19:20 (whistling)
01:19:22 (upbeat music)
01:19:25 (whistling)
01:19:27 (upbeat music)
01:19:30 ♪ Now that we're old and we're gray ♪
01:19:57 ♪ We still like to play ♪
01:19:58 ♪ Grab a ball, don't be a chump ♪
01:20:03 ♪ Bruises we get, knees just forget ♪
01:20:07 ♪ This is gonna raise a lump ♪
01:20:09 ♪ And if you ask if we care ♪
01:20:12 ♪ 'Bout the thinning of hair ♪
01:20:14 ♪ And a big spare tire below ♪
01:20:18 ♪ We claw our back, that's showing some crack ♪
01:20:22 ♪ You never told, oh, hell no ♪
01:20:24 ♪ There's nothing like baseball ♪
01:20:27 ♪ To boil away the time ♪
01:20:32 ♪ There's nothing like baseball ♪
01:20:35 ♪ To keep a lucid mind ♪
01:20:38 ♪ Is that a crime ♪
01:20:40 ♪ We're young and our hearts know no day ♪
01:20:44 ♪ Denial sounds heavy ♪
01:20:45 ♪ We need glasses to help us see ♪
01:20:49 ♪ The young and the strong ♪
01:20:51 ♪ We'll still take on ♪
01:20:53 ♪ Wait 'til we put in our teeth ♪
01:20:56 ♪ There's nothing like baseball ♪
01:20:59 ♪ To boil away the time ♪
01:21:03 ♪ There's nothing like baseball ♪
01:21:07 ♪ I'll play at 89 ♪
01:21:10 ♪ Is that a crime ♪
01:21:12 ♪ When it's time to check out of life ♪
01:21:15 ♪ Say goodbye to the strife ♪
01:21:17 ♪ I'll accept that it's my time to go ♪
01:21:21 ♪ St. Peter can't hit it ♪
01:21:22 ♪ Like a son of a bitch ♪
01:21:25 ♪ And Gabriel can really throw ♪
01:21:27 ♪ There's heavenly baseball ♪
01:21:30 ♪ To boil away the time ♪
01:21:35 ♪ There's nothing like baseball ♪
01:21:38 ♪ I'll play it all the time ♪
01:21:42 ♪ Is that a crime ♪
01:21:44 ♪ Is that a crime ♪
01:21:48 ♪ Life is too short to play golf ♪
01:21:52 (silence)
01:21:54 (silence)
01:21:56 (silence)
01:21:58 (silence)
01:22:00 [BLANK_AUDIO]