Adam Scott reads from Star Wars From a Certain Point of View: Return of the Jedi.
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00:00 TK-423 log DS2, entry 11.
00:03 There is still no calf in the cafeteria.
00:09 One would think this elementary, since it is impossible to spell one without the other.
00:15 When I mentioned that this may be due to lack of planning on the part of the Empire to the unkind worker behind the counter,
00:22 TK-293 told me to shut up,
00:26 because we will get into trouble and troopers who get into trouble get sent through the airlock,
00:30 which explains the lack of personnel the officers are constantly complaining about.
00:35 I don't want to point fingers, but perhaps the solution for the "we need more men" problem would be not to throw all
00:43 available men through the airlock once they complain there's no calf.
00:47 TK-423 log DS2, entry 12.
00:54 Locked inside the refresher on our floor, no doubt the diligent work of R2-Q9,
00:58 hammered on the door until someone opened it for me, all while hearing it malignantly beep on the other side.
01:06 TK-423 log DS2, entry 15.
01:12 Not only has the calf not arrived, although promises were made, excuses were given.
01:21 The shipments aren't what they were in the early Empire days, the ISB has prioritized their own offices supply first, etc, etc.
01:29 But the wages are still late.
01:32 More promises were made and further excuses were given. The ISB has been prioritized over other workforces, etc, etc.
01:40 TK-848 was none too happy when discussing this later in the evening in our quarters,
01:48 saying ships had been set on fire for much less on his home planet.
01:51 According to his words, "We signed up to be here, but there were conditions and these conditions aren't being met."
01:59 Which quickly jumped to "We are being exploited."
02:03 And then to "I've been talking to other troopers about forming a UN,"
02:09 which was interrupted by TK-293 telling him that the commanding officers don't like the U word.
02:17 I was deeply confused and expressed this by telling them I could not see how any UGNOTs could relate to our situation.
02:25 The conversation ended abruptly when TK-534 told all of us that TK-848 was an agitator,
02:33 and that we'd all be getting a considerable scolding if we didn't stop all this UGNOT talk at once.
02:40 TK-423 log DS2, entry 16.
02:46 Never mind all that, today Lord Vader showed up.
02:50 So instead of us getting a considerable scolding, it was Moff Jerjerod's turn.
02:54 Other troopers had warned us, TK-848 actually, who apparently knows everybody and everybody's business, of Vader's reputation,
03:03 but said he never bothers with stormtroopers and only keeps his threats to important commanding officers.
03:10 "Now that's class solidarity," said TK-848 after Moff Jerjerod had made the usual "we need more men" speech,
03:18 which I had on my card "claims lack of workers" for the betting pool,
03:22 and then Vader mentioned the Emperor, which TK-293 had on his card, name-dropping.
03:29 All in all, we got to be the audience for one of Vader's famous threats,
03:34 which is a real treat if you're not on the receiving end of it.
03:39 Fortunately, we did not witness a less appealing Vader management method, the chokehold,
03:44 which makes all officers unhappy and scared, and thus more prone to screaming at the lower chain of command, i.e. us.
03:51 Moff Jerjerod affirmed we'd be back on schedule, which apparently means we'll have longer shifts of waiting around and pacing corridors.
04:01 Most important, we now have standing there for the Emperor's arrival to look forward to.
04:07 It will require a lot of stormtrooper units, which means the betting pool is larger for how many will pass out from dehydration.
04:14 TK-423 log, DS2, entry 17.
04:23 Still no calf.
04:30 Still no calf.
04:32 [BLANK_AUDIO]