FULL VIDEO EPISODE: NFL Preview With Pete Prisco, Jets RB Dalvin Cook, Pancakes Only Draft And The Return Of Jimbos

Pardon My Take

Jake Marsh | Pardon My Take

Transcript

00:00:00 (mimics guitar)

00:00:03 Is that Florida?

00:00:05 - That's kind of Florida.

00:00:06 - Yeah.

00:00:07 - Yeah.

00:00:07 (mimics guitar)

00:00:09 - No.

00:00:10 - Is that LSU?

00:00:11 - No.

00:00:11 What's...

00:00:12 (mimics guitar)

00:00:13 No.

00:00:14 What's that?

00:00:15 - That's the Mets.

00:00:16 That's...

00:00:17 - That's Narcos.

00:00:18 - Yeah.

00:00:19 On today's part of my take,

00:00:24 we have a twofer for the people.

00:00:26 We have Pete Prisco previewing the NFL season.

00:00:29 He's got the hottest takes, the hottest takes.

00:00:33 Always have fun with Pete Prisco.

00:00:34 And then we have Jets running back, Dalvin Cook.

00:00:37 Great interview, getting ready for NFL football tomorrow.

00:00:42 We also are going to do Hot Seat, Cool Throne,

00:00:46 the return of Jimbo's,

00:00:47 and a bonus at the end of the show,

00:00:50 we do our Pancake Fantasy Draft,

00:00:52 where we're drafting offensive linemen, pancakes only.

00:00:56 It was somehow worse than the Dingers Only Draft.

00:01:00 So we put it at the very end.

00:01:02 It's almost like a bonus thing.

00:01:03 - It's like you can't complain about it

00:01:04 'cause it's free content.

00:01:05 - Right, exactly.

00:01:06 It's at the very end.

00:01:07 It's after the first I Love You Guys.

00:01:08 So it's like, if you complain about it, you're a pervert.

00:01:12 - If you're one of those guys

00:01:13 that likes to hear us sit around and just say names

00:01:15 for about 30 minutes nonstop,

00:01:17 then you're going to fucking love it.

00:01:18 - We got a draft for you.

00:01:19 - You're going to love the pancake draft.

00:01:21 - Yes.

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00:03:16 Okay, let's go.

00:03:18 (upbeat music)

00:03:20 (upbeat music)

00:03:23 (upbeat music)

00:03:25 (upbeat music)

00:03:28 (upbeat music)

00:03:31 (upbeat music)

00:03:33 (upbeat music)

00:03:36 - Welcome to part of my take.

00:03:37 Today is Wednesday, September 6th and PFT,

00:03:42 they are testing us.

00:03:43 - On what?

00:03:44 - They are testing us with the Kansas City Chiefs.

00:03:47 First Chris Jones sits out,

00:03:50 is maybe not gonna play week one.

00:03:52 Now Travis Kelsey unfortunately has

00:03:54 a hyper extension in his knee.

00:03:56 ACL intact.

00:03:57 - Wait, has Adam Schefter said anything

00:03:59 about his knee about to explode?

00:04:00 - No, he is not.

00:04:01 - Okay.

00:04:02 - That's Albert Breer.

00:04:04 It's gonna explode.

00:04:05 Juju Smith-Schuster.

00:04:05 But they're testing us PFT.

00:04:07 Travis Kelsey might not play on Thursday night.

00:04:10 The Chiefs are testing us.

00:04:12 They're basically at the buzzer.

00:04:13 We spent all summer saying, just don't overthink it.

00:04:17 The Chiefs are gonna win the West.

00:04:18 And at the buzzer, they're giving us enough things

00:04:21 to be like, well, maybe they won't win the West.

00:04:23 We can't fall for it.

00:04:24 - 0 and 17.

00:04:25 - We can't fall for it.

00:04:27 - Listen, Chris Jones is the one

00:04:28 that wanted the hyper extension.

00:04:30 - Yeah, that's true.

00:04:31 - That's what he's been going for.

00:04:32 Kelsey, unfortunately, we've been talking about the Chiefs

00:04:35 and you'll hear our interview with Pete Prisco in a second.

00:04:38 And he basically says he could throw to any of us three

00:04:41 and Patrick Momentum would be a great quarterback.

00:04:43 They don't have proven wide receivers this year.

00:04:46 They were just gonna be like, okay, we'll do Travis Kelsey

00:04:48 and then we'll make it work on the outside.

00:04:50 Without Travis Kelsey, I'm--

00:04:53 - They're doing it, TFT.

00:04:54 - I'm going lines, money line.

00:04:55 - I am too.

00:04:56 - Money lines.

00:04:57 - Well, I already was doing that,

00:04:58 but I'm saying like for season long,

00:04:59 the Chiefs are basically right at the buzzer saying,

00:05:01 hey, let's invite all the doubters.

00:05:04 Let's have this doubt creep in

00:05:06 so that we can have that rat poison in the locker room.

00:05:08 - Was Billy Wright about Travis Kelsey?

00:05:11 - Run soft?

00:05:12 - Maybe, I don't know.

00:05:13 - Yeah, I don't know.

00:05:14 We gotta see the tape.

00:05:15 - I gotta find out how it happened.

00:05:16 - What?

00:05:17 - Trust the reminder.

00:05:18 - No, Jake.

00:05:19 - Jake, you're right.

00:05:20 Jake, shut the fuck up.

00:05:21 You also said don't trust the reminder.

00:05:24 - Yes.

00:05:25 - You said for week one.

00:05:26 - Don't trust the reminders.

00:05:27 - Chiefs to win the West is not a week one reminder.

00:05:30 - I don't know what to do.

00:05:31 - I don't know what to do, Hank.

00:05:34 Tell us what to do.

00:05:35 - Lines, money line.

00:05:36 - No, no, no, no, no.

00:05:37 That's already been decided.

00:05:38 That's been decided months ago.

00:05:39 I was like, I love,

00:05:41 this is gonna be a coming out party for the Lions.

00:05:43 - I'm just telling you guys what past you wanted me

00:05:44 to tell current you.

00:05:45 - No, we're all betting the Lions on Thursday,

00:05:47 which is a terrible, terrible thing for the Lions.

00:05:49 - All due respect, past me was a shithead.

00:05:51 - Yeah, he's an idiot.

00:05:52 - You know how dumb I used to be?

00:05:53 - He's a moron.

00:05:54 He's a fat fucking bitch.

00:05:56 That's what past me is.

00:05:58 New me is smart, chiseled, diligent.

00:06:02 Give me another adjective.

00:06:04 - Steadfast.

00:06:05 - Steadfast.

00:06:06 Steadfast with his approach.

00:06:07 - I'm not sure what steadfast means.

00:06:09 - I'm not telling you guys what to do.

00:06:10 I'm just telling you what past you wanted current you to do.

00:06:13 - Extra diligent.

00:06:14 - Yeah, but listen, I'm not gonna get bossed around

00:06:16 by past me.

00:06:17 Current me is the alpha.

00:06:18 - Also, I'm not gonna get bossed around by past me via Jake.

00:06:21 - Yeah, true.

00:06:22 - Like that's the worst way.

00:06:23 - Wait, did I really think that I was gonna be able

00:06:27 to boss future me around by being like,

00:06:29 "Hey, Jake, remind future me that I wanted you to do this."

00:06:32 No.

00:06:32 - But teacher, you didn't assign homework.

00:06:34 That's what you're doing to us right now.

00:06:36 Throw it all out.

00:06:37 - That's the one thing that Jake actually gets offended by.

00:06:39 When you say that he was the teacher's homework guy.

00:06:42 - I hate those people.

00:06:43 I always think I'm one of them.

00:06:44 - I mean, you were.

00:06:45 - Were you teacher, you forgot to collect homework?

00:06:48 - No.

00:06:50 - Were you teacher, here's an apple, I love you?

00:06:52 - No.

00:06:53 - Were you call your teacher, your mom?

00:06:55 - Who does that? - Everyone was that.

00:06:56 - You accidentally do that sometimes.

00:06:57 - Oh, everyone accidentally did that.

00:06:58 Are you kidding me?

00:06:59 - I never done that.

00:07:00 - Really?

00:07:01 Everyone accidentally did that at some point.

00:07:02 - Were you teacher, I was the only one that did

00:07:04 the assignment in my group project?

00:07:06 - No.

00:07:08 - There was a little bit of a delay on that one.

00:07:10 - No, because--

00:07:11 - Hesitation.

00:07:12 - Because, Jake, I remember the PowerPoint

00:07:14 that you put together, you and memes,

00:07:16 but memes name was not on it.

00:07:16 - That's a dark time, that's past me, as you mentioned,

00:07:19 idiot.

00:07:20 - Yeah, idiot, moron.

00:07:21 - So, yeah.

00:07:22 - Either way, we can't fall for it.

00:07:24 The Chiefs are gonna win the last.

00:07:25 - I think I'm gonna fall for it a little bit.

00:07:27 - Okay, well, we're gonna fall for it on Thursday night.

00:07:28 - So, here's one thing that I will trust past me on.

00:07:32 Do not believe the C words, do not believe their lies.

00:07:34 - Right.

00:07:35 - I am not going, if I'm gonna move off the Chiefs,

00:07:37 I'm not going to the team in Los Angeles.

00:07:40 I'm not gonna do that.

00:07:41 - There was a report today--

00:07:42 - What's my other option?

00:07:43 Am I gonna go with the Broncos?

00:07:44 - There was a report today that Sean Payton said,

00:07:46 told Russell Wilson to stop with this Russell, Inc. bullshit.

00:07:50 - He said, "Will you fucking stop kissing all the babies?

00:07:53 "You're not running for office."

00:07:55 That might be an Epstein Island thing.

00:07:56 It sounds like something Bill Clinton used to do.

00:07:58 - Yeah, he should be standing with his dogs in the woods

00:08:00 singing a song.

00:08:01 - Yeah, would you rather be on the airplane

00:08:03 that had the shit all over it,

00:08:05 or on the airplane going across the Atlantic

00:08:07 with Russell Wilson doing high knees?

00:08:08 - Definitely the shit.

00:08:09 We saw the shit, by the way.

00:08:12 It was exactly what I thought everywhere.

00:08:14 It was literally everywhere.

00:08:15 When people are like, "How could this be a biohazard?"

00:08:18 You had to know that it was diarrhea up and down the aisles.

00:08:23 Again, I believe this gentleman was probably,

00:08:25 I hope it was a gentleman.

00:08:27 Dang, just the doctor is the mother?

00:08:28 - I don't know, that was my--

00:08:29 - Are you doing that to me right now?

00:08:31 - I feel like if it was a guy,

00:08:32 it would have come out as a guy.

00:08:33 - Women don't poop, that's the thing,

00:08:34 so it has to be a guy. - But they do diarrhea.

00:08:36 - Yeah. - They do.

00:08:40 - It was a guy.

00:08:41 - It was definitely a guy. - We think.

00:08:42 This is our misogyny showing.

00:08:43 I love, maybe the next Barstool hit piece,

00:08:46 they're like, "They're misogynists.

00:08:47 "They didn't even think women

00:08:48 "could be the diarrhea biohazard person."

00:08:50 - It's 2023, okay?

00:08:52 A bitch can clear out a plane.

00:08:53 - Yes, so whoever this was,

00:08:56 I think they were wearing shorts and maybe not underwear.

00:08:59 That's how it happened.

00:08:59 - It looks like, judging by the splatter pattern,

00:09:03 if we're putting on our Dexter hats here,

00:09:05 you ever seen that show, Hank, Dexter?

00:09:07 - Well, you don't wanna do the splatter pattern here?

00:09:08 - He judges the blood pattern

00:09:10 and can tell you exactly how the murder went down.

00:09:12 I was analyzing it through Dexter's eyes,

00:09:14 and it looks like somebody got up out of their seat

00:09:17 and then pooped and then ran down the aisle while pooping.

00:09:21 - With shorts on. - With shorts on,

00:09:22 but I think it was a sprint,

00:09:24 and it reminds me of that old George Carlin thing,

00:09:26 "There are certain things you will never see in your life

00:09:28 "that's a grown man running while taking a shit."

00:09:30 I think on that plane,

00:09:31 there was somebody sprinting down the aisle,

00:09:33 and as their ass was going back and forth,

00:09:35 back and forth running, it was shooting left, right,

00:09:38 like a sprinkler. - Right, right.

00:09:39 And I also analyzed this, watched the video many times.

00:09:43 I think if we had to make a composite of the person,

00:09:46 it is a gentleman, I would say,

00:09:49 about 230 to 50 pounds,

00:09:52 five, eight-ish,

00:09:55 wearing very loose-fitting cargo khakis.

00:09:59 You know the loose ones,

00:10:02 and if he's wearing underwear,

00:10:04 he's wearing the old-school boxers, the Gaz boxers.

00:10:08 - You're almost describing Pete Prisco now, actually.

00:10:09 - A little bit, but Pete's not as heavy.

00:10:11 - He's also not five-eight.

00:10:12 - Yeah, he's definitely not five-eight,

00:10:14 but I'm saying there's enough movement in the shorts

00:10:18 where it's the old-school boxers that don't,

00:10:20 not boxer briefs,

00:10:21 that the splatter is allowed to go everywhere.

00:10:23 It's like a Jackson Pollock going down the aisle.

00:10:26 - I was with you until you said the cargo shorts.

00:10:28 I think that that material is too firm.

00:10:31 I would say like athletic shorts, old-school gym shorts.

00:10:34 - You gotta remember, this is a person

00:10:35 going from Atlanta to Barthelona.

00:10:38 Probably the cargo shorts to keep the passports,

00:10:40 the kids' stuff.

00:10:41 He's probably, he's wearing maybe a Fisherman's Vest,

00:10:45 like one of those dads.

00:10:46 - It was coming from Atlanta, though, right?

00:10:47 - Yeah. - So it might've been

00:10:48 jean shorts.

00:10:49 We might be working with shorts here.

00:10:50 - Although those also could be a little bit tighter

00:10:52 to the, yeah.

00:10:54 - It could've been a girl in short shorts.

00:10:55 - No, no, definitely not. - Oh man,

00:10:56 what if it was a girl in juicy booty pants?

00:10:59 That would wreck me.

00:11:00 - I haven't ruled out the pilots either.

00:11:01 - Oh, go, you tell. - Just because of

00:11:03 inside job. - Just because of the length.

00:11:04 How did it get, it covered, it did somehow

00:11:07 cover the whole plane.

00:11:07 - What about a stewardess? - And the only way

00:11:09 for it to cover the whole plane

00:11:10 is if it started at the top.

00:11:12 - Are you not allowed to say stewardess?

00:11:13 - You can say whatever you want.

00:11:14 - I think it's steward, stewardess?

00:11:16 - It's a flight attendant. - Flight attendant.

00:11:17 Oh, an F.A.?

00:11:19 - Yeah. - What about an F.A.?

00:11:20 - You can say whatever.

00:11:22 It could've been, it could've been an inside job.

00:11:23 That would make a lot of sense, wouldn't it?

00:11:26 - Not enough details have come out

00:11:27 where it makes me suspicious of a lot of things.

00:11:29 - Are we sure it wasn't a dog?

00:11:31 - Oh. - This is also

00:11:32 dog behavior. - Emotional support.

00:11:34 - But dogs-- - One of the fake

00:11:34 emotional support animals that people just bring on a plane,

00:11:37 they get a certificate online.

00:11:38 They're like, oh yeah, this is my dog, I need him to fly.

00:11:40 - It could be the dog because the dog starts,

00:11:43 does the squat, and then you're like, go, run, run,

00:11:45 and then just starts pooping everywhere.

00:11:47 - Dogs poop and run all the time.

00:11:49 This is the number one sports podcast in America.

00:11:50 - Yeah, we're breaking it down.

00:11:52 I mean, it was the number one story.

00:11:54 - Yeah, it is. - The last 24 hours.

00:11:56 - I think that's sports.

00:11:57 That counts as, I'll tell you what,

00:11:58 this is a bad omen for the Jets.

00:12:00 I don't think it could start off any worse.

00:12:02 - Uh-oh, and the Browns.

00:12:04 - And the Browns, both, yeah. - Both of them, bad.

00:12:06 Fade both of them. - Yep.

00:12:08 - It's a bad combo, memes.

00:12:10 You should be worried now.

00:12:11 Oh, Hard Knocks.

00:12:12 - Yeah, Hard Knocks is over.

00:12:15 We watched it.

00:12:17 We totally watched it. - Yeah, Hard Knocks.

00:12:18 - So I'm in the habit of watching Hard Knocks

00:12:20 about two days late during the weeks.

00:12:22 - I haven't watched after episode two, I have to admit.

00:12:24 - It's not bad.

00:12:25 It just makes you fall in love with Garrett Wilson,

00:12:27 and you're gonna get more rosy-colored glasses

00:12:30 with the Jets because it does make you think

00:12:31 that they can do something.

00:12:32 I still go back to the fact

00:12:34 that the offensive line doesn't look great,

00:12:35 and it is hard to switch to a new team, new system.

00:12:38 Doesn't always work out.

00:12:39 - Do you know what it--

00:12:40 - It's a hard game, big cat.

00:12:41 The other guys, they get paid money to play football, too.

00:12:44 - You know what it is for me?

00:12:45 Is I'm obviously all in on Aaron Rodgers,

00:12:48 never said a bad thing about him,

00:12:49 might be a bit, whatever.

00:12:51 Watching it, it's like I'm getting poisoned by the bit.

00:12:55 So if I have to watch more Aaron Rodgers

00:12:56 and be like, oh, he's the best,

00:12:58 I'm gonna start, my body's gonna start rejecting it.

00:13:01 - You're at the stage where you're like, you know what?

00:13:03 I really, really like smoking weed,

00:13:06 but I need to stop because I like it so much,

00:13:09 and I'm just gonna forget about everything else,

00:13:12 and my entire life is gonna be based around weed.

00:13:14 - Yeah, like my brain is like,

00:13:15 oh, this is funny to just reverse and troll Packers fans,

00:13:19 and my whole body and everything that it's learned

00:13:21 is like, you can't like this guy.

00:13:23 So I have to keep my distance

00:13:25 so that I can keep enough distance to be like,

00:13:27 oh yeah, I love Aaron Rodgers, he's the best.

00:13:30 If I watch him, I'm gonna be like,

00:13:31 we, I fucking hate this guy.

00:13:32 - Yeah, I remember, I remember everything that I hated about.

00:13:34 - Every flashback will start hitting me.

00:13:36 - Yeah, it's, I'm very excited for this football season.

00:13:39 I don't remember the last time that I've been this excited.

00:13:41 - No way, you don't say.

00:13:43 - I want to wrap my entire body up in Saran wrap

00:13:46 and bubble wrap, and just make sure I make it through

00:13:49 the next day and a half.

00:13:50 - I think we're all, like every football season,

00:13:54 at this exact moment, I'm at 100 out of 100.

00:13:57 It's every single year.

00:13:58 - I'm 500 out of 100.

00:13:59 - I don't think I've ever been more or less excited

00:14:02 than I am every single year.

00:14:03 - I'm infinity out of 100.

00:14:04 Not only are these cool new teams, cool new storylines,

00:14:07 but also for the first time in 25 years,

00:14:09 I actually get to be happy and proud of my own team

00:14:12 that I get to root for. - That's true.

00:14:13 - It's this, the NFL fucking rocks.

00:14:16 - Yeah, it's the best.

00:14:18 - It is the best.

00:14:20 - There was a story that just came out an hour ago.

00:14:22 Did you see this about the Dolphins quarterback coach,

00:14:24 Darrell Bevel?

00:14:25 - No.

00:14:26 - He suffered a detached retina during training camp.

00:14:29 This is from Jory Epstein.

00:14:30 After the surgery that he had,

00:14:32 he needed to lie face down for 90% of seven straight days.

00:14:36 So there's a picture that he sent to the team

00:14:38 where he's just laying face down on his bed,

00:14:40 watching film on his tablet that's on the ground.

00:14:43 And he's just like hanging off the edge of his bed,

00:14:45 watching film.

00:14:46 Mike McDaniel showed the team this picture.

00:14:48 Why?

00:14:48 A powerful message, he told Yahoo Sports.

00:14:50 - That it's, you need to hurt,

00:14:53 like go to the ends of every health,

00:14:56 everything that a doctor ever tells you

00:14:58 to just keep doing your job with football.

00:15:00 - Yeah, it looks like a milking table for your eyes.

00:15:03 - Yeah.

00:15:03 - He's just staring down at the game, the all 22.

00:15:05 - They do that, and it's very funny when you say that

00:15:07 because if you just change the perspective a little bit.

00:15:11 So he's a detached retina, still doing his job,

00:15:15 being commended for doing his job.

00:15:17 If you made this like a Twitter thread

00:15:19 about a startup in San Francisco,

00:15:21 there would be 10,000 Twitter handles

00:15:25 with roses in their handle being like,

00:15:26 this is toxic work culture.

00:15:28 - Well, there would also--

00:15:29 - That's just football, baby.

00:15:30 - There definitely would be people being like,

00:15:31 I can't believe that you make your employees do this.

00:15:33 There would also be a bunch of guys

00:15:35 with the nft.eth.

00:15:38 - Yeah, that's true.

00:15:39 - Being like, this is a fucking warrior right here.

00:15:42 - This is the grind set mentality.

00:15:42 - This is a grind set, never stop working,

00:15:45 never stop the commitment.

00:15:47 - But why don't, we should start having that debate

00:15:49 because I would like to be on the side of the NFTs

00:15:51 and be like, no, it's football, this is what we do.

00:15:53 - Well, also, if you look at it

00:15:54 from like a zoomed out perspective,

00:15:56 this guy's laying in bed watching football.

00:15:58 - Yeah. - Which rocks.

00:16:00 - It's our job. - Yeah.

00:16:01 - We just go couch.

00:16:02 - This is the best.

00:16:04 Like I should be so lucky.

00:16:06 Most, I'd say 99% of people listening to this podcast

00:16:09 would quit their jobs tomorrow

00:16:10 if it meant that their job would now become

00:16:12 laying in bed and watching football.

00:16:13 - Oh, in a second.

00:16:14 That's, I mean, this is the time of year

00:16:16 where we have to, like as much as I get

00:16:19 a little anxiety of like, oh, like I'm not gonna be around

00:16:21 on Sundays, like this is no, everyone wants our job

00:16:25 because we get to just watch every game on Sunday.

00:16:27 - But we have to-- - It's the fucking best.

00:16:29 - But we have to sit up in chairs.

00:16:31 - That's true, like converse.

00:16:32 - Like child laborers. - And bet, oh the horrors.

00:16:36 - It's tough.

00:16:37 - We are no different than the minors,

00:16:38 the nine year old minors.

00:16:39 - It is a grind. - From like 1902.

00:16:41 - So-- - When America was America.

00:16:43 - So this is, it's a great picture.

00:16:45 We can only hope that Darryl Bevel

00:16:48 becomes the first coach on the sidelines

00:16:50 wearing an eye patch.

00:16:51 We almost had it with Mike Zimmer a few years ago

00:16:54 when he got, you remember his eye just get,

00:16:56 it kept getting worse and worse and worse.

00:16:57 - Yes, it was very bad. - 'Cause he never stopped

00:16:58 watching film. - Yes.

00:16:59 - I would love it if Darryl Bevel week one

00:17:01 on the sidelines wearing a pirate's eye patch.

00:17:04 I mean-- - That'd be great.

00:17:05 - I would put a future on the Dolphins at that point.

00:17:07 - Yeah, that's, I mean, they're willing to risk it all.

00:17:10 - Yeah. - In every capacity.

00:17:12 All right, other things.

00:17:13 I'm just so excited.

00:17:14 - Am I back on football guy duty this season?

00:17:16 - No.

00:17:17 - Who's doing it?

00:17:18 - I think we're just gonna say football guy stories.

00:17:20 - Okay, we're not gonna do a--

00:17:21 - Yeah, we're not gonna do official football guy of the week.

00:17:24 We're just gonna be like,

00:17:25 this guy right here is probably football guy of the week.

00:17:27 - Yeah, good question though, Jake,

00:17:29 because we also, we're gonna change a couple other things up

00:17:31 we're gonna do on Fridays, the preview.

00:17:33 We're gonna preview every game

00:17:35 instead of doing four picks each.

00:17:38 What we're gonna do is just everyone,

00:17:39 we're gonna preview every game normally.

00:17:41 And then at the end, everyone's gonna give their best pick,

00:17:45 spread and total.

00:17:46 And there can't be any duplicates.

00:17:49 That will be the rules.

00:17:50 So we'll go around in a circle.

00:17:51 If your pick gets picked, then you gotta go.

00:17:53 And then we have the punishment of a one hour set

00:17:58 in Las Vegas for the Super Bowl live show, streamed.

00:18:03 I was actually, no joke, I was walking.

00:18:07 I was at the zoo with my kids

00:18:09 and there was a guy doing magic

00:18:11 and I was in the back of my head, I was like,

00:18:12 I might have to come back here

00:18:13 and get this guy to teach me something.

00:18:15 - You know what I might do?

00:18:16 I might have to, he was doing a floating table.

00:18:18 It was awesome.

00:18:19 - Magic would be a good idea.

00:18:20 Also just getting like a reptile handler

00:18:23 or a bunch of animals to come out.

00:18:25 - Yes.

00:18:25 - And you just have animals join you on stage.

00:18:26 - Releasing just a bunch of crickets.

00:18:28 - That would be great, yeah.

00:18:29 Bees, I release bees.

00:18:31 Here's my show.

00:18:32 - Yeah, everyone be careful.

00:18:34 I mean, it would be great.

00:18:37 All right, what other things?

00:18:38 Any other stories that we should talk about?

00:18:41 - You okay, Max?

00:18:42 - We're just ready for football.

00:18:43 - I'm good, thank you.

00:18:44 - We all believe in the Lions on Thursday night,

00:18:46 which is terrible for the Lions.

00:18:47 - I'm going back on the Gremlin

00:18:49 over three and a half field goal bets.

00:18:50 Last year it was plus money.

00:18:52 It hit at like 71%.

00:18:54 It was the best bet that I've ever made in my life.

00:18:56 - Yeah.

00:18:57 - So we're gonna ride it.

00:18:58 We're gonna ride it over field goals

00:18:59 and the Lions money line.

00:19:00 - Hank's back on his hungry dog.

00:19:01 I saw him tweet that.

00:19:03 It triggered me a little.

00:19:04 'Cause you know he's just gonna pick

00:19:05 against our teams every week.

00:19:08 - Oh, of course.

00:19:08 I know he's gonna take the Cardinals week one.

00:19:10 I know it, I know it.

00:19:11 - Cardinals might be the hungriest dog in the league.

00:19:13 - Shut the fuck up.

00:19:14 You're such a...

00:19:16 - Everyone's bad.

00:19:16 - Everyone's exactly bad.

00:19:17 - You always say it's not personal,

00:19:19 but somehow it's always personal.

00:19:21 - It's always, you always find a way to make it personal.

00:19:23 It's either against the commanders

00:19:25 or against the can't lose parlay, which will be bad.

00:19:27 - I have a question about the picks.

00:19:29 - Yeah.

00:19:30 - You can fade somebody, right?

00:19:32 - Yes, you just can't duplicate.

00:19:33 So if I'm like, if my first pick is the commanders minus seven

00:19:37 no one else can pick the commanders minus seven.

00:19:40 - So at the end of the year, are we gonna have to...

00:19:43 I'm thinking there's gonna be like strategies

00:19:45 of like if you're trying to catch someone

00:19:46 just fading whatever they pick, no matter what.

00:19:48 - You're getting way too ahead of yourself.

00:19:50 - I know, I'm just thinking.

00:19:50 - Just remember we all suck.

00:19:52 So we're all gonna be like 40% at the end of the year.

00:19:56 - I also lose at every single bet here.

00:19:57 - I'm commanders minus seven.

00:19:59 Can I just say that?

00:20:00 Will you allow me to take commanders minus seven?

00:20:01 - Well, we'll have to figure out who gets to go first.

00:20:03 - I already put it in.

00:20:04 - We have to figure out who goes first.

00:20:05 - This is my makeup for Texas Tech.

00:20:08 I'm doubling down.

00:20:09 - Yeah.

00:20:10 - Commies or bust.

00:20:11 - Okay, well, hopefully you get first pick.

00:20:13 - All right.

00:20:14 - I think Hank's gonna just take the command.

00:20:15 - He would never, Hank would never do that.

00:20:17 - Yes, he would.

00:20:18 He would do that to you.

00:20:19 - Hank loves plus signs.

00:20:20 - Oh, I'm so excited for football.

00:20:22 - On the golf course and on his bet slip.

00:20:24 - Also, for people who don't know,

00:20:26 new listeners, Mondays shows, no guests,

00:20:29 will be all football all the time.

00:20:31 We go through every single game, which is great

00:20:34 because there's a lot of teams that don't get any shine

00:20:38 in the national media.

00:20:39 They just get forgotten after like two weeks.

00:20:40 - Basically the entire NFC South.

00:20:42 - Yeah, we find a way to make jokes about those teams

00:20:45 for the entirety of the year and it's great.

00:20:48 And I'm very excited.

00:20:49 Sunday, what are you guys gonna wear on Sunday?

00:20:51 - Tux.

00:20:52 - What are we gonna eat?

00:20:53 What are we gonna eat on Sunday?

00:20:54 - I'm gonna wear a tux and I'm gonna eat cheese steaks.

00:20:55 - We do have to figure out what we're gonna eat all day

00:20:58 'cause it's a big, like you can't fuck up the menu

00:21:00 for week one.

00:21:01 This is a conversation that needs to be happening

00:21:03 all across America with everyone and their friends.

00:21:06 This is important.

00:21:07 - I think either part--

00:21:08 - Chicken tenders.

00:21:09 - Cheese steaks.

00:21:10 - Okay.

00:21:11 - Well, we're gonna have two meals.

00:21:12 - It's gonna be three.

00:21:13 - I like--

00:21:13 - Chicken, bacon, ranch subs.

00:21:14 - I like eating--

00:21:15 - Big cat combo.

00:21:16 - I like eating, what is that?

00:21:17 - What is the big cat combo?

00:21:18 I didn't even know that existed.

00:21:18 - I'll be honest.

00:21:19 - Until I saw the ad.

00:21:20 - I'm not sure yet.

00:21:21 - Yeah.

00:21:22 - I like having one slice of pizza in between

00:21:24 the early and the late games.

00:21:26 - Just a little pizza that's just out that we can nosh on.

00:21:29 - Yeah, it keeps you awake.

00:21:30 Keeps you going in between the games.

00:21:32 - Yeah, we have to,

00:21:33 these are things that we have to think about.

00:21:35 - I'd like a root beer.

00:21:36 Can I get a root beer?

00:21:37 - I would also like a root beer.

00:21:38 - Okay, let's get some root beer.

00:21:39 - I would like a coffee.

00:21:40 - The big cat combo is a choice of cheesesteak,

00:21:42 fries, and a drink.

00:21:43 All in one.

00:21:44 - That's, you know, Big Cat loves that.

00:21:46 - Yep.

00:21:47 (laughing)

00:21:48 - What is it, fries?

00:21:48 - Your cheesesteak of choice, fries, and a drink.

00:21:52 - That is so insane, it just might work.

00:21:54 - Yeah.

00:21:54 - A sandwich, fries, and a drink?

00:21:56 - I think it's a great deal.

00:21:56 - If it was a real big--

00:21:57 - A hell of a deal,

00:21:59 and everyone should go get a big cat combo.

00:22:01 - We got some marketing wizards.

00:22:03 - If it was a real big cat combo,

00:22:04 it would be two subs.

00:22:06 One for the one you put in the fridge,

00:22:09 so you eat it at halftime.

00:22:10 - If you wanna get wild with it,

00:22:11 get the big cat combo, but make it PFT style,

00:22:14 which is where you take the fries,

00:22:15 and you put 'em on the sandwich.

00:22:17 - Ooh, I like that.

00:22:17 - Yeah.

00:22:18 - I like that.

00:22:19 Yeah.

00:22:20 - Partofmycheesesteak.com.

00:22:21 - There we go, the plug god.

00:22:22 At it again.

00:22:24 Okay, let's do a hot seat, cool throne,

00:22:26 and then we have Pete Prisco, Dalvin Cook, Jimbo's,

00:22:30 and the worst draft we've ever done,

00:22:32 the pancake draft, pancakes only.

00:22:34 So we're giving shine to the offensive linemen.

00:22:37 We all drafted five offensive linemen.

00:22:38 It was a struggle.

00:22:40 It was a struggle.

00:22:41 I forgot Field Yates told us

00:22:43 that offensive lines are pretty weak right now,

00:22:45 so it's actually not us, it's the league.

00:22:46 - That's the only reason why we weren't able

00:22:48 to name five guys.

00:22:49 - Yeah, exactly.

00:22:50 All right.

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00:24:07 Okay, Hank, hot seat, cool throne.

00:24:09 - My hot seat is Riley Leonard.

00:24:11 - Oh yeah, we should, we, we, we.

00:24:14 Clemson fans were like, oh, thank God you guys recorded,

00:24:18 you know, before the game ended.

00:24:20 We should, you go, but then we should,

00:24:22 we should bury Clemson.

00:24:23 - Yeah, so Duke beat Clemson, upset, and then--

00:24:26 - Close game though, right?

00:24:27 - No, not even close.

00:24:28 - Oh.

00:24:29 - But Clemson got the over.

00:24:30 No, they didn't.

00:24:31 - Oh.

00:24:32 - 28-7.

00:24:33 - Ooh.

00:24:34 - At least Duke didn't storm the field on them.

00:24:35 - They did.

00:24:36 - Oh no.

00:24:38 - And then afterwards, Riley Leonard, the quarterback,

00:24:40 had a great, great touchdown, running touchdown.

00:24:42 He was doing a press conference or interview

00:24:44 after the game and said, "Professor Taylor,

00:24:46 if you're seeing this, please let me turn in my homework

00:24:48 late because it's due tonight, I think at 12."

00:24:51 - Ooh.

00:24:52 - And then Professor Taylor, which if you haven't seen

00:24:54 the picture, look him up, he just is the most

00:24:56 professor-looking, Duke professor-looking--

00:24:57 - He's the most Duke Professor Taylor of all time?

00:24:59 - Of all time.

00:24:59 - He said, "Wesley Williams and the other linemen

00:25:02 who were in the class, they said they prepared

00:25:04 ahead of time, so why didn't the quarterback?"

00:25:06 - Oh no.

00:25:07 - So no way, man, no extension.

00:25:09 - What a dickhead.

00:25:10 - Yeah, that's--

00:25:11 - What an absolute dickhead.

00:25:13 - That's the most Duke story ever,

00:25:15 with the exception of Duke winning at football.

00:25:17 - Yeah.

00:25:17 What a fucking asshole.

00:25:19 I don't like this guy.

00:25:21 - You know what that tells me?

00:25:22 That tells me that Riley Leonard was not prepared to win.

00:25:26 - No.

00:25:27 - That tells me he thought he was gonna lose

00:25:28 and then he'd have time after the game to send it in.

00:25:30 - Yeah.

00:25:31 Clemson though, done.

00:25:32 Dabo, it's so great burying Dabo.

00:25:36 I know Clemson fans will get upset.

00:25:37 You have to understand, Dabo is not a likable guy.

00:25:41 You had your run, and it does, it is kind of nice.

00:25:46 If Dabo didn't say all the stuff about NIL

00:25:49 and transfer portal, I would feel a little bit worse,

00:25:51 but he's so resistant to change when college football

00:25:56 has so drastically changed in the last five years.

00:25:59 It's kind of great to be like, dude,

00:26:00 all you had to do was embrace it

00:26:03 and realize that everything is changing around you.

00:26:05 You got to change.

00:26:06 Like Nick Saban has always changed.

00:26:08 - Yeah, so I mean, Dabo doesn't want to change.

00:26:11 - No.

00:26:12 - And so he's not going to.

00:26:13 If he did change, I'll say something nice about Dabo.

00:26:17 He's not being as big a hypocrite as I expected him to be.

00:26:20 - Yeah.

00:26:21 - So when he said, like, I didn't want to change,

00:26:23 I don't want college football to be run by money,

00:26:25 I'll quit.

00:26:26 Yeah, he didn't quit, but he did quit trying

00:26:29 to do everything that he can to win.

00:26:31 - Right.

00:26:32 - So he's not using the transfer portal.

00:26:33 He doesn't like the mentality of just jumping around

00:26:36 when you get upset.

00:26:37 But along with that comes losing.

00:26:39 - I also, the one thing I don't like

00:26:42 whenever we talk about college football,

00:26:44 it's a little different than the NFL,

00:26:45 where like the head coach is recruiting the players.

00:26:49 He's getting the best players.

00:26:50 So when people are like, oh, it's not so easy.

00:26:52 Like you don't have Trevor Lawrence and Deshaun Watson.

00:26:54 Well, Dabo does deserve credit for getting those guys.

00:26:57 It's kind of like the Deon when people are like,

00:27:00 oh, well, he had better talent at Jackson State

00:27:02 than everyone else.

00:27:03 Like, okay, isn't that, that's the point, right?

00:27:05 - Yeah, that goes along with it.

00:27:07 - You want to get the best players.

00:27:08 - Now you have to ask, was Brent Venables,

00:27:10 was he the real mastermind behind Clemson?

00:27:12 - That's a good question.

00:27:13 - 'Cause I feel like you could make that argument.

00:27:16 - Yeah.

00:27:17 - I think I might make that argument, actually.

00:27:18 - Yeah, go ahead and make that argument.

00:27:19 - I'll make the argument because when Brent Venables left,

00:27:21 Clemson started to suck.

00:27:22 - Yes.

00:27:23 - So I just want to leave you with one last Dabo quote,

00:27:26 how quickly we forget.

00:27:27 I think this was just last year, it was in December.

00:27:30 We built this program on NIL.

00:27:32 We really did, Swinney said.

00:27:34 It's probably different from what you're thinking though.

00:27:37 We built this program in God's name, image, and likeness.

00:27:40 - Yes, all time quote.

00:27:41 - Yep.

00:27:42 - Oh, Dabo, he's just corny.

00:27:45 That's really what it comes down to.

00:27:47 It's hard to root for a guy who's that corny.

00:27:50 You know?

00:27:51 - And also some people bring up the fact that--

00:27:51 - They weren't paying God.

00:27:53 - That they weren't paying God?

00:27:54 - Yeah.

00:27:55 - Dabo also--

00:27:56 - No, they were using God's name, image, and likeness.

00:27:58 - That's worse than anything else.

00:27:59 - I think he was paying God

00:28:00 because he was doing baptisms after practice, right?

00:28:03 - Yeah.

00:28:04 - Splashing a little water.

00:28:05 - Dabo also has the, like, a treasure trove

00:28:10 of memes that come back at him.

00:28:12 The L running out with the L.

00:28:14 - That's a memes classic.

00:28:15 - Memes classic.

00:28:16 Running down the hill before his whole team.

00:28:19 Him doing the TikTok, the hickory dickory dock.

00:28:21 Dabo's on TikTok.

00:28:22 - Yeah.

00:28:23 - Like, all these just come flooding on the timeline,

00:28:26 and it's just a lesson to all the coaches out there.

00:28:29 If you're ever gonna stop recruiting

00:28:31 and doing Transfer Portal and NIL,

00:28:33 try not to be on TikTok as well.

00:28:34 - Yeah, good point.

00:28:35 Also--

00:28:36 - So, very, very, very niche advice.

00:28:38 - Did you see that Dabo was upset

00:28:40 because of how far the locker rooms are

00:28:41 at Duke from the field?

00:28:43 - Oh, no.

00:28:43 - So, he was starting to blame that.

00:28:45 - I like that.

00:28:46 - And now, Dabo's the last guy that should do that

00:28:48 because he makes his team get off a bus

00:28:50 at the top of a hill,

00:28:51 and then follow him sprinting down it

00:28:53 to go onto the field.

00:28:54 - I kind of--

00:28:55 - So, the journey from the locker room to the field

00:28:58 should not have an impact for that team.

00:29:00 - Yes, I kind of like, though,

00:29:01 like it's back to the Shane Beamer

00:29:03 blaming the guys, the chain gang, eating hot dogs.

00:29:06 I kind of like when these coaches just become

00:29:08 such obvious babies, 'cause we know they're babies.

00:29:12 But when they show their colors like that,

00:29:14 it does tickle me a little.

00:29:16 - What's Dabo's buyout right now?

00:29:17 - Oh, oh, oh.

00:29:19 - Let's look that up.

00:29:20 - I mean, the thing is, he did win two national titles.

00:29:23 - Yeah, and he's not going anywhere.

00:29:23 - He made Clemson, Clemson was not good,

00:29:26 or they couldn't get over the hump for the longest time.

00:29:29 He went and built that program to an insane level.

00:29:31 So, he does, it's not that he's a bad coach.

00:29:34 - Some people would also point to the defensive line

00:29:36 that when you're having a bunch of those

00:29:38 PED positive tests.

00:29:40 - Dabo, sweet me.

00:29:41 - Something interesting.

00:29:41 - All right, wait, hold on, I gotta draft my kicker.

00:29:43 I'm taking Jake Elliott.

00:29:44 I'm doing a draft right now.

00:29:45 - Fuck yeah.

00:29:46 - Yeah, 'cause I just don't recognize him.

00:29:48 - $64 million buyout.

00:29:50 - $64 million.

00:29:51 - Word on the street is, what I'm hearing, Big Cat,

00:29:53 and NCAA circles is that Clemson is considering a buyout.

00:29:56 - I like that they also detailed in the buyout here,

00:29:59 like it almost, like as if it gets cheaper.

00:30:02 It's 64 million this year.

00:30:04 It drops to 60 million in 2024.

00:30:08 And then, get this, this is discount, 57 million in 2026.

00:30:13 - I think they're gonna wait through this season.

00:30:15 - That's, no, he's not gonna lose his job.

00:30:18 - No.

00:30:18 - He's not gonna lose his job.

00:30:19 - It is fun to, it's fun to root against Dabo

00:30:22 when he loses. - It is.

00:30:24 - Sorry, Clemson fans.

00:30:26 But you knew that.

00:30:27 It's part of winning.

00:30:28 - I'm a Cox man.

00:30:28 - It's part of winning.

00:30:29 If you win, the pendulum swings back.

00:30:32 Okay, Hank, your cool throw.

00:30:34 - My cool throw is pettiness.

00:30:36 - Ooh.

00:30:36 - This league, Alabama, Texas, big matchup this weekend.

00:30:40 Last year, they played, and Alabama's band

00:30:42 did not travel to Texas 'cause the Longhorns

00:30:44 only gave their band upper deck seats.

00:30:47 And now Alabama's doing the same thing.

00:30:48 They said all 5,000 visitor tickets,

00:30:51 which include seats for the band,

00:30:52 will be in the upper deck.

00:30:53 - I love a good band rivalry.

00:30:55 I really do.

00:30:55 You remember a couple years ago

00:30:56 when Purdue's giant-ass drum couldn't fit into the stadium?

00:31:00 - Yeah.

00:31:01 - So they had to leave the giant drum behind?

00:31:02 - The big drum.

00:31:02 - Yeah, the big drum.

00:31:03 - Yeah.

00:31:04 - Yeah, I love band wars.

00:31:05 - Yeah.

00:31:06 And band people are the horniest.

00:31:08 - Oh, for sure.

00:31:08 - It's not just the American Pie, like, trope.

00:31:11 It's, I think Wisconsin had a huge scandal.

00:31:14 Right around when I was there, just dildos and shit.

00:31:16 - Oh, hazing. - And the bus.

00:31:17 - So if you think that Northwestern football

00:31:19 had a hazing issue, look at band culture across America.

00:31:22 - I think they should just show up and go harder than ever.

00:31:26 - Yeah.

00:31:27 - Like, Alabama just not showing up the,

00:31:28 or no, Texas not showing up last year was kind of lame.

00:31:31 - No, Texas showed up last year.

00:31:32 - Texas, it was a homecoming.

00:31:33 - 'Cause it was in Austin.

00:31:34 - 'Cause Alabama's banned to not travel.

00:31:35 - Yeah, so yeah, I agree with you.

00:31:36 The Texas Longhorn Band should just say,

00:31:38 "Fuck it, we're going anyways."

00:31:40 Make 'em kick you out.

00:31:41 - I also, I stand with bands in college football.

00:31:44 I think it's a great part of the game.

00:31:45 - Yeah.

00:31:46 - I love hearing when Oklahoma or USC gets rolling

00:31:49 and they just play that over and over and over.

00:31:52 - It's how you know you're watching college football.

00:31:53 - Yeah, it's great.

00:31:54 No, you don't like it?

00:31:56 - The halftime, I mean, it is what it is.

00:32:00 - The halftime, I don't care about.

00:32:01 No one watches the halftime show.

00:32:02 - It's like the in-between plays.

00:32:04 - Yeah.

00:32:05 - The FSU war chant.

00:32:06 (humming)

00:32:08 - Is that Florida?

00:32:11 - That's kind of Florida.

00:32:12 - Yeah.

00:32:13 - Yeah.

00:32:13 (humming)

00:32:15 - No.

00:32:16 - FSU?

00:32:17 - No.

00:32:17 (humming)

00:32:19 - No, what's that?

00:32:20 - That's the mess.

00:32:21 (laughing)

00:32:23 - That's Narcos.

00:32:24 - Yeah.

00:32:25 - Wait, what's the--

00:32:26 - That's a banger.

00:32:27 - Texas goes,

00:32:28 (humming)

00:32:29 - Yeah.

00:32:30 - Boomer Surner is, what do they play?

00:32:33 They play the, I always fuck this up with USC.

00:32:36 (humming)

00:32:38 - No.

00:32:39 - That's Star Wars.

00:32:40 - Superman.

00:32:41 - No, that's--

00:32:42 - Is that Superman?

00:32:42 - Superman.

00:32:43 (humming)

00:32:44 - I think they do.

00:32:45 (humming)

00:32:47 - I need to listen to Boomer Surner real quick.

00:32:54 - That's Jurassic Park.

00:32:55 - Yeah, I was gonna say.

00:32:57 - Yeah.

00:32:57 - That's definitely--

00:32:58 (humming)

00:33:00 - Star Wars.

00:33:02 - Star Wars.

00:33:03 - Yeah.

00:33:05 - See, I've seen it.

00:33:06 - Yeah, here it comes.

00:33:07 (upbeat music)

00:33:10 (upbeat music)

00:33:13 - This is a lot of intro.

00:33:19 (humming)

00:33:22 - I had the first note right.

00:33:23 (humming)

00:33:25 Every first down, when they're like scoring 60,

00:33:29 and then you just--

00:33:30 - All school fight songs are kind of the same.

00:33:33 - Yeah, a little bit.

00:33:34 - They're all very similar.

00:33:35 I think they all have like very similar chord progressions.

00:33:37 I'm gonna get to work on that.

00:33:39 - When you play with the trumpet and the trombone,

00:33:41 they kind of all blend together.

00:33:43 - Yeah, that's true.

00:33:44 - Yeah.

00:33:44 You're either doing college football,

00:33:47 Touchdown or Ska.

00:33:48 - I would--

00:33:49 - There's really nothing else.

00:33:50 - Both great things, two of my favorite things.

00:33:52 - That would be great if one team did a Ska.

00:33:54 - They usually do.

00:33:55 - Yeah.

00:33:56 - No, but for their Touchdown song.

00:33:57 - Yeah, if you watch March Madness though,

00:33:59 every band, they're like, okay, let's do a fun one,

00:34:01 and they play Real Big Fish.

00:34:02 - Yeah, yeah.

00:34:03 - Or Take On Me, or the Real Big Fish version of Take On Me.

00:34:06 - Whose school tour is it?

00:34:08 - That was my cool throw.

00:34:09 - That was, oh Jesus.

00:34:10 - My other one was diarrhea, but we talked about that.

00:34:13 - You wanna talk about it again?

00:34:14 - I just wrote unidentified if it's a boy or a girl.

00:34:16 - Oh, so you were on that.

00:34:17 - That was my only note.

00:34:17 - You were on that early.

00:34:19 Okay.

00:34:20 PFT, your hot seat cool throw.

00:34:22 - My hot seat is Obama.

00:34:24 - Yeah.

00:34:24 - Obama's on the hot seat, friend of the program,

00:34:27 longtime stoolie, Tucker Carlson,

00:34:29 is having a guy on his show.

00:34:31 What's that?

00:34:31 - I thought Obama was the--

00:34:32 - Obama, also longtime stoolie.

00:34:34 - Longtime stoolie.

00:34:35 - And AWL.

00:34:36 So Tucker's having a guy on his show tonight

00:34:39 that claims that he had sex with Obama back in 1999.

00:34:42 So Jake, we have to ask, does it matter

00:34:45 if Obama had sex with this man in 1999?

00:34:48 - It does not matter.

00:34:49 - Good news for everyone, Jake will be watching

00:34:51 the entire interview and giving us spark notes

00:34:53 on Friday's show.

00:34:54 - Yep, so you guys are giving me homework.

00:34:55 - So I want all the details.

00:34:58 I'm gonna go in fresh, open mind.

00:35:00 - Yeah, I've--

00:35:00 - I don't know if he's gay or not,

00:35:02 or if he's had sex with this man or not.

00:35:04 Jake, you have to just give us the facts,

00:35:06 lay 'em out for us, and we will then make a decision.

00:35:08 - I have not made up my mind, number one,

00:35:10 about whether or not they had sex,

00:35:11 two, whether it matters.

00:35:13 So I need you to update me on that.

00:35:15 I'm waiting for facts to come out.

00:35:16 - How do we want this presented?

00:35:17 PowerPoint, just spoken, or?

00:35:20 - It's spoken's fine.

00:35:22 - Braille.

00:35:23 - Spoken's good.

00:35:24 - I don't know, I kinda want a PowerPoint.

00:35:26 - Just one slide, does it matter?

00:35:30 - No, I--

00:35:31 - No, you gotta tell us the story about what happened.

00:35:33 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, what's his deal?

00:35:36 Top, bottom, who is, you know,

00:35:38 he's gonna go into detail, I assume.

00:35:41 Yeah, make me a PowerPoint.

00:35:42 - For Friday?

00:35:43 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'd like to see a PowerPoint.

00:35:45 Thank you.

00:35:47 We cover it all on this show.

00:35:49 Okay, your cool throne, PFT?

00:35:50 - My cool throne is Lyon, France, Lyon.

00:35:54 I don't know how you pronounce it, Lyon.

00:35:55 I'm gonna go with Lyon, Lyon, oh-ho-ho-ho.

00:35:59 It's a good sports town.

00:36:00 It's confirmed a good sports town.

00:36:02 So they lost against Paris Saint-Germain

00:36:05 in the Farmers League, four to one.

00:36:07 It was a home loss.

00:36:09 And then after the match,

00:36:10 they made their players stand on the field

00:36:13 while their fans got microphones

00:36:15 and berated them for their performance.

00:36:17 - The Coach K.

00:36:18 - And the players had to sit there

00:36:19 and listen to the fans tell them that they stunk,

00:36:22 that they were embarrassment to the jersey,

00:36:23 which is awesome.

00:36:24 I know I don't care about French soccer,

00:36:26 but I do care about American sports and accountability.

00:36:30 I would love to see this in the NFL.

00:36:31 - Yes, yes.

00:36:32 - How great would that be?

00:36:33 - Yes.

00:36:34 - If Boltman was out there just berating Brandon Staley

00:36:37 for not going for more fourth downs afterwards.

00:36:39 - Yes, we need that.

00:36:41 - It would be fucking-- - The accountability

00:36:42 is important. - It would be awesome.

00:36:43 - It should just be a fan press conference.

00:36:45 - It should be a fan press conference

00:36:47 that the players have to listen to.

00:36:49 And yeah, you are allowed to, if you're not even a fan,

00:36:51 if you're just a gambler that lost money,

00:36:53 you're allowed to publicly air your grievances

00:36:55 with Todd Gurley for taking a knee.

00:36:56 - Yeah, yeah, just rip into him.

00:36:59 - I love it. - I like it.

00:37:00 - I love this, it's such a fun video.

00:37:02 - All right, my hot seat is the Angels for two reasons.

00:37:05 One is Lucas Gialito, who was an Angel

00:37:09 when the Angels were trying to go all in at the deadline,

00:37:13 is the first player since, I think it's 19,

00:37:17 I think it was actually 1898, I gotta find it.

00:37:21 He's pitched, he's given up eight earned runs

00:37:25 for three different teams this year.

00:37:27 Pretty impressive. - That is pretty cool.

00:37:29 - Hard to do, he's done it three different times,

00:37:31 three different teams.

00:37:32 He started on the White Sox, went to the Angels,

00:37:34 now is on the Guardians.

00:37:36 The last one to do it was Bill McGee.

00:37:39 Bill McGee, who you probably all know,

00:37:41 and Bill McGee is also, he did it in 1897.

00:37:44 Bill McGee's also famous for just disappearing.

00:37:48 No one knows where Bill McGee went.

00:37:49 He was just living, he retired from baseball,

00:37:53 was living with his wife and kid, and then never came back.

00:37:56 And if you look up Bill McGee's age,

00:37:58 it says that he's 148 years old.

00:38:00 - I have to imagine that it was pretty easy

00:38:01 to do that back then.

00:38:02 People could just, you move like two towns away.

00:38:05 - Yeah, you're just like--

00:38:06 - No idea what happened to that guy.

00:38:06 - Going out for cigarettes.

00:38:07 - Yeah. - Up on the horse.

00:38:08 - And then the Angels also,

00:38:10 because they had picture day today,

00:38:12 and they had a body double for Shohei Otani.

00:38:14 - That seems racist.

00:38:15 - Well, it was actually a white guy.

00:38:17 - Okay, that's not racist.

00:38:18 - Yeah, 'cause I think--

00:38:19 - Actually, that's very funny.

00:38:20 - I think they literally were--

00:38:21 - Now I'm glad that they did that.

00:38:23 - Yeah, I think when they did body double,

00:38:26 I think it was literally a guy standing

00:38:27 in a full uniform that they were gonna

00:38:29 then just put in Shohei Otani.

00:38:31 - Okay, I like that.

00:38:32 - Yeah. - That's good.

00:38:33 - I thought the same thing at first.

00:38:34 I was like, wait, what the fuck?

00:38:35 And then I saw the guy, 'cause they like,

00:38:37 you could only see the back of him

00:38:39 walking out of the clubhouse,

00:38:41 and then they escorted him out of the stadium.

00:38:44 I think like, that's pretty sick though,

00:38:46 whoever got to be the body double for Shohei.

00:38:48 - Well, there's a clear picture of him.

00:38:49 - Oh, there is.

00:38:50 Oh yeah, he's a white guy, right?

00:38:52 - Yep. - Yeah.

00:38:53 - Yeah, that guy looks nothing like Shohei Otani.

00:38:56 - No, so I think they're just doing a full Photoshop,

00:38:58 'cause I thought, my mind went to the same place.

00:39:01 I was like, what the fuck?

00:39:01 - So where was Shohei?

00:39:03 - Uh, injured? - He's injured.

00:39:05 - Yeah, well-- - He can't stand for a picture?

00:39:06 - No, his arm--

00:39:07 - Sometimes they don't like,

00:39:09 they just like go off to rehab or something.

00:39:10 - I don't know.

00:39:11 - I'm pretty sure he's playing again.

00:39:12 - Yeah, he's hitting.

00:39:13 - Yeah, but he wasn't there.

00:39:14 Either way, they're a clown organization

00:39:16 through and through.

00:39:17 My cool throne is Max's favorite player, Trey Turner,

00:39:21 because he just went on paternity leave,

00:39:24 which is not remarkable, except for the fact

00:39:26 that it's exactly nine months to the day

00:39:29 that he signed his $300 million contract.

00:39:31 - That is awesome. - That is the best sex

00:39:33 of all time.

00:39:33 - I'm actually surprised that that resulted in pregnancy.

00:39:35 - Yeah, too.

00:39:36 - I would figure he'd be using all the holes.

00:39:38 - Well, maybe doggie.

00:39:39 - Yeah, doggie, yeah, true.

00:39:40 - Doggie usually gets pregnant.

00:39:42 - It shoots it deep. - Yeah.

00:39:43 - Reminder for when he comes back for you guys,

00:39:45 bet on him to hit a homer.

00:39:46 - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:39:47 - Is the baby bump real in baseball?

00:39:49 - I don't know.

00:39:50 - He also just hits a homerun every game now.

00:39:51 - Oh, after you cheered for him?

00:39:52 - Every single game he hits a homerun.

00:39:54 - Wow. - He's so good.

00:39:54 - Is that true?

00:39:55 Because you also claim that the Phillies

00:39:57 were the hottest team in baseball

00:39:58 since the all-star break, and then I looked it up,

00:40:00 'cause I was like, "I think the Cubs are better,"

00:40:03 and you were way wrong.

00:40:04 - I was wrong, I was wrong, I was wrong.

00:40:05 - Okay.

00:40:06 - But the Phillies are playing good baseball right now.

00:40:08 They're getting hot.

00:40:09 - Either way, Trey Turner--

00:40:10 - Hottest team in sports, right?

00:40:12 - Yeah, hottest team in sports.

00:40:13 Having $300 million sex, that rules.

00:40:17 Like, that was awesome.

00:40:19 - It is pretty good, yeah, good for him.

00:40:20 Congrats, Trey, very happy for you,

00:40:22 all your accomplishments, biggest fan.

00:40:24 - Paternity leave, you should probably be back tomorrow.

00:40:27 - I miss you.

00:40:28 - But that's fine.

00:40:29 All right, Trey Turner has hit three out of the last four

00:40:33 games he's hit a home, no, four out of the last five

00:40:35 he's hit a homerun.

00:40:36 - That's pretty good.

00:40:38 - But before that, he hadn't hit a homerun in a month.

00:40:41 So every game.

00:40:42 - That's not true.

00:40:43 - Has he done any cool slides this year?

00:40:45 Oh no, he hit a couple.

00:40:46 I love Trey Turner's cool slides.

00:40:48 - He's been standing ovation, he's been insane.

00:40:50 - Yeah, no, he actually, Max is sort of right.

00:40:52 He's hit, looks like seven home runs in the last eight

00:40:56 games, that's pretty crazy.

00:40:59 Good job, Max.

00:40:59 - Thank you.

00:41:00 - Fact checked, correct.

00:41:02 Jake, finish this off.

00:41:03 - My hot seat is us as football fans.

00:41:06 - Why?

00:41:07 - Because unfortunately, Chris Mortensen is stepping away

00:41:09 from ESPN.

00:41:11 People use the word legend all the time.

00:41:12 He is a legend in the football media game.

00:41:15 - Jake's trying to take our 500 out of 100 excitement

00:41:18 to 499.

00:41:20 - Thank you, Jake.

00:41:21 No, you're right.

00:41:22 I mean, Chris Mortensen, the legend, living legend,

00:41:25 great guy.

00:41:25 - This is just like the most exciting time.

00:41:27 - I was just like pumped for football.

00:41:29 I was pumped to like take my shirt off and beat my chest.

00:41:32 - He deserves a tribute on the show.

00:41:34 - Good job, Mort.

00:41:36 Send him off like a king.

00:41:40 - Yeah.

00:41:41 - I like Mort.

00:41:42 - He is a legend.

00:41:43 - I just like, he shouldn't have retired right before

00:41:46 football season.

00:41:47 He should have retired right after the draft

00:41:48 and we would have been able to be like,

00:41:49 Mort, we miss you, we love you, great job.

00:41:52 He did it right before football season.

00:41:53 It's any news right now, minus diary on an airplane,

00:41:58 is just a speed bump to Thursday night.

00:42:00 It's truly does not even like register for me.

00:42:03 - He also is big to flakate.

00:42:04 - Oh, Hank, go off, go off, Hank.

00:42:07 You don't forget.

00:42:08 - He just made up rumors.

00:42:09 - Yeah, wasn't he the initial tweet?

00:42:11 The 11 out of 12 footballs?

00:42:13 - Yeah.

00:42:14 But great guy.

00:42:15 I'll miss you, Mort.

00:42:16 - Great career.

00:42:17 - Minus a completely false story that was just.

00:42:21 Other than that though, you can't win them all.

00:42:24 - Yeah, no.

00:42:25 - Great, yeah, this is a great tribute to Chris Morrison.

00:42:27 - Yes, great job.

00:42:29 - My cool throne is college basketball.

00:42:31 Barstool Invitational.

00:42:32 - Oh God, let's go.

00:42:33 - Is back here in Chicago.

00:42:35 - Yes.

00:42:36 - Unreal double header, FAU versus Loyola Chicago,

00:42:40 Mississippi State, Arizona State,

00:42:41 barstool.link/invitational for tickets, barstool.tv

00:42:44 on Wednesday, November 8th.

00:42:46 - Yeah, Bobby Hurley.

00:42:47 We get to call a Bobby Hurley game.

00:42:48 It's fucking awesome.

00:42:49 - And a Sister Jean game.

00:42:50 - And a Sister Jean game.

00:42:51 - Sister Jean will hopefully be in the crowd.

00:42:52 - PFT, you gotta take a picture with her.

00:42:54 - I might challenge her to rough and rowdy.

00:42:55 - You might, you should ask for a lap dance.

00:42:57 - I should give her a lap dance.

00:42:58 - Right, I know.

00:42:59 You should ask her if you can do a lap dance.

00:43:01 - Oh, I'll get her out of the habit so fast.

00:43:04 She'll be like, I wasted my life as a nun.

00:43:06 - How many listeners do you think we've lost

00:43:08 on this episode specifically?

00:43:09 We haven't even got to the pancake track.

00:43:10 - I think Sister Jean would find me attractive.

00:43:12 - Clemson fans are gone.

00:43:14 People who are like, I don't wanna hear diarrhea talk

00:43:16 for 15 minutes.

00:43:18 People who love religion.

00:43:20 And again, we have not gotten to the pancake track.

00:43:23 - This has nothing to do with Sister Jean's religion.

00:43:24 - Mort, anyone who's a family member of Mort.

00:43:28 - I'm not talking about her religion.

00:43:29 I'm just saying she would maybe think I was a fox.

00:43:32 - Yeah.

00:43:32 Listen, if you fucked Sister Jean,

00:43:35 that would be a hell of a story.

00:43:36 - It would be maybe the biggest sports story ever.

00:43:40 - Let's fucking just be honest right now.

00:43:42 It would be a hell of a story.

00:43:43 - I mean.

00:43:44 - Even if you got head from her.

00:43:45 (laughing)

00:43:48 - What is going on?

00:43:51 - The camera at the Marcell invitation.

00:43:52 - I feel high right now.

00:43:53 - This is ridiculous.

00:43:54 - It pans up into the stands and it's Sister Jean

00:43:56 and I'm like on my knees like Kanye West's wife in that boat.

00:43:59 (laughing)

00:44:01 - It was a perfect last pre-football episode.

00:44:05 - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:44:06 No, but that's a good plug.

00:44:07 Yeah, go buy the tickets.

00:44:08 We wanna pack the house.

00:44:09 So it's in Chicago, Wintrust,

00:44:11 where DePaul plays double header November 8th.

00:44:15 - Yes, Wednesday, November 8th.

00:44:17 - So there's not gonna be any football

00:44:18 that's gonna be, you know, we're competing against.

00:44:20 - Bands are in the balcony.

00:44:21 - Bands are in the balcony.

00:44:23 We'll see Rico Bosco will get probably 15 shots

00:44:26 at a half court shot.

00:44:28 But we're gonna have a bunch of, same as last time.

00:44:30 It was awesome.

00:44:31 We had a bunch of barstool personalities

00:44:32 doing a bunch of shit.

00:44:33 So it's gonna be great.

00:44:35 Excited.

00:44:36 - Pumped.

00:44:36 - Good plug.

00:44:37 And PFT is gonna be getting head from Sister Jean

00:44:40 in between games.

00:44:40 - Or giving.

00:44:41 - Yeah, or giving.

00:44:42 - We'll see.

00:44:43 - Oh, okay.

00:44:44 I like it.

00:44:45 That's, hey, check misogyny off the box for us.

00:44:48 We do it both ways here.

00:44:50 We'll lick that pussy.

00:44:52 Okay, so Barstool Invitational, what is it?

00:44:55 Where can they buy tickets?

00:44:56 - Barstool.link/invitational.

00:44:58 - Max, was your titty fuck Sister Jean?

00:45:00 (laughing)

00:45:02 - No, I would not.

00:45:03 - What's that look, Memes?

00:45:04 Memes is giving a look.

00:45:05 One of his classic looks.

00:45:08 - I mean, it would be funny if PFT blew Sister Jean's back.

00:45:12 (laughing)

00:45:14 - I thought he was gonna say something like,

00:45:16 "We can't run this."

00:45:18 He's like, "No, I got one more.

00:45:20 "I got one more in me."

00:45:20 - I've been thinking about it.

00:45:21 - He's a Vince Carter meme.

00:45:23 "I got one more in me."

00:45:24 - I've crunched the numbers.

00:45:25 - I find this humorous.

00:45:26 - All right, let's get to our interviews.

00:45:28 We've got Pete Prisco, then Dalvin Cook.

00:45:30 Pete Prisco is brought to you by our friends

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00:45:56 from Drizzly.

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00:46:23 Okay, here he is, Pete Prisco.

00:46:25 Okay, we now welcome on one of our favorite guests,

00:46:30 the fiery Italian, we call him.

00:46:32 - It actually ends the four day Italian banishment

00:46:35 from part of my tape.

00:46:37 - For Tom Franelli screwing over all our listeners,

00:46:40 but it is Pete Prisco from CBS Sports.

00:46:43 He is one of our favorite guests.

00:46:45 He watches the film and we're here to do an NFL preview

00:46:48 as is tradition with Pete Prisco.

00:46:52 Let's start here, Pete.

00:46:53 Give me your seven teams in the AFC

00:46:57 that are gonna make the playoffs.

00:46:58 I wanna start there and then we can work around the league,

00:47:01 but it's a good litmus test to see where your head's at

00:47:04 going into the season.

00:47:05 - Okay, we'll start in the East where everybody else starts

00:47:10 'cause it's Aaron Rodgers' division.

00:47:12 Buffalo will win the division.

00:47:14 They're still the best team.

00:47:16 And the Jets have to learn how to win.

00:47:18 They haven't won anything.

00:47:20 He has, and some of those old guys he brought with him

00:47:23 from Green Bay, they have,

00:47:25 but the majority of those guys have to learn how to win.

00:47:27 So I'm picking Buffalo in a division.

00:47:29 Jacksonville's a slam dunk in their division.

00:47:32 And I, hmm, you went hmm.

00:47:35 - Yeah, no, keep going.

00:47:36 We'll go back to that.

00:47:37 But I just want, you know,

00:47:39 it's a good way to start off to see who you like, yeah.

00:47:42 - The Chiefs will win their division

00:47:43 and the Bengals will win their division.

00:47:45 So there's the four division winners.

00:47:47 The wild card teams will be the Chargers,

00:47:51 the Browns, and the Jets.

00:47:55 - Wow. - Interesting.

00:47:56 So, but wait, you said that the Jets

00:47:58 have to learn how to win first.

00:47:59 Pete, you know football, you've been around this league.

00:48:02 I've always been told that first you have to learn

00:48:04 how to not lose before you learn how to win.

00:48:07 And the Jets don't know how to not lose yet.

00:48:09 - Correct.

00:48:11 They haven't won anything.

00:48:13 When's the last time the Jets were relevant?

00:48:15 And granted, getting Aaron Rodgers

00:48:17 changes the dynamic of the team,

00:48:19 but you have to learn how to win.

00:48:21 Big games, close games, and playoff games,

00:48:23 they've done none of it.

00:48:24 - How do you learn how to win?

00:48:25 What does that look like?

00:48:27 - You do it once, and then you come back the next year,

00:48:29 and then you really can do it.

00:48:31 - Okay. - For example,

00:48:33 Jacksonville learned how to win last year.

00:48:35 - Okay, so all right, let's start with Jacksonville.

00:48:37 I got a question for you,

00:48:38 because I know you're high on the Jags this year.

00:48:40 You're jagging off.

00:48:41 Now, obviously-- - Wow.

00:48:43 - They went to the playoffs last year.

00:48:45 They win a playoff game.

00:48:47 I'll just play devil's advocate for a second, okay?

00:48:50 And then you can tell me where I'm wrong

00:48:51 'cause you watched the tape.

00:48:53 The Jaguars were three and seven last year

00:48:56 going into their bye week.

00:48:57 They won a game against the Ravens,

00:48:58 which was an impressive win.

00:49:00 They got absolutely smoked by the Lions.

00:49:03 They then beat a Tennessee team

00:49:05 that was on a downward spiral.

00:49:07 They have that kind of weird, lucky win against the Cowboys.

00:49:11 They beat a terrible Zach Wilson, a terrible Houston team,

00:49:15 and then almost lose to Josh Dobbs and the Titans

00:49:19 in a win-and-get-in game to end the season

00:49:22 to finish nine and eight

00:49:23 and win the worst division in football.

00:49:26 What did you watch that you're like,

00:49:29 "This now is a slam dunk"?

00:49:31 Because it felt like if you watch it and you're like,

00:49:33 "Oh yeah, they played the Chiefs well in the playoff game.

00:49:36 "They made some noise."

00:49:37 They were pretty close to not even making

00:49:39 the playoffs last year.

00:49:40 - Correct, but remember, it took until mid-season

00:49:44 for the Urban Meyer enema to work for 'em.

00:49:47 - Okay. - I mean, it didn't get

00:49:48 it all out until mid-season.

00:49:50 And finally, by mid-season, it was gone, all of it.

00:49:52 All the crap that he brought was gone.

00:49:55 So then they went forward.

00:49:56 Trevor Lawrence was comfortable,

00:49:58 and they became a good team.

00:49:59 But here's why they're a really good team this year

00:50:02 to keep an eye on to go to the Super Bowl,

00:50:04 which I think they're going to, by the way.

00:50:06 Here's why.

00:50:07 Look at the schedule.

00:50:09 They play six games in their own division,

00:50:12 which is not good.

00:50:13 They play four against rookie quarterbacks.

00:50:16 They play Carolina, so they have Bryce Young.

00:50:21 There's another rookie quarterback.

00:50:23 Desmond Ritter's barely played.

00:50:25 Baker Mayfield, Derek Carr.

00:50:27 That's their non-division opponent in that division.

00:50:31 - And their tough games are at home, too, right?

00:50:34 - Well, you get Kansas City,

00:50:35 where there'll be 140 in week two.

00:50:37 You get Buffalo in London,

00:50:40 which is actually a road game for the Bills.

00:50:42 You'd rather play Buffalo in London

00:50:43 than playing at Buffalo.

00:50:45 - It's true. - So the schedule's favorable.

00:50:47 If they don't win 13 games, it's a disaster.

00:50:49 By the way, they're gonna score 500 points.

00:50:52 - Whoa! - 500 points in 13 games minimum.

00:50:56 - Wait, you, PFT told me that you were high on the Jags.

00:50:59 I didn't think it was gonna be like this.

00:51:01 - Oh yeah, he's, no, Super Bowl.

00:51:02 - 13 games, Super Bowl.

00:51:03 - Are they gonna win the Super Bowl, Pete?

00:51:05 Is that what you're saying?

00:51:05 - No. - Oh, okay.

00:51:07 Woo, whoa, man, that was close.

00:51:09 - That'd be crazy. (laughing)

00:51:11 - But their offense is, what Calvin Ridley will mean

00:51:14 to that offense is going to change the way they play.

00:51:17 - Okay. - And they're gonna score

00:51:18 a ton of points.

00:51:19 - Have you ever been this high on the Jaguars ever?

00:51:22 - In '99 when they choked.

00:51:24 - Okay, what about their defense, Pete?

00:51:26 - Well, okay, they have two high picks as pass rushers.

00:51:31 Trayvon Walker, number one overall,

00:51:32 Josh Allen was top 10.

00:51:34 It's time, and when you play with the lead,

00:51:36 your pass rushers become better.

00:51:38 They'll be good enough on defense.

00:51:39 They're not gonna be great on defense,

00:51:40 they'll be good enough on defense.

00:51:42 - Okay. - That's fascinating to me, Pete.

00:51:43 Jaguars, Super Bowl.

00:51:45 - Yeah, because this is, no, I asked the AFC question

00:51:48 because it is absolutely stacked.

00:51:50 And you have Burrow, Allen, Mahomes, all these guys.

00:51:54 You left out the Ravens, the Steelers,

00:51:57 and the Dolphins of the playoffs.

00:51:59 Why are those three teams not gonna make the playoffs?

00:52:02 - Well, I think those divisions

00:52:03 are gonna cannibalize each other.

00:52:04 And that's another reason why Jacksonville

00:52:06 has a big advantage.

00:52:07 Look at the AFC North.

00:52:09 Any, I'm with you, any one of those teams can win it.

00:52:12 So they're gonna beat each other up.

00:52:13 The AFC East, Miami, Buffalo, the Jets.

00:52:17 They're gonna beat each other up.

00:52:19 Out West, the Chargers are a really good team.

00:52:21 And then who knows what Sean Payton

00:52:23 will do with the Broncos.

00:52:24 I don't think they're gonna be great,

00:52:25 but they could be better.

00:52:27 So that's why Jacksonville has a big advantage

00:52:30 over the rest.

00:52:31 They might not be the best team,

00:52:33 but all you have to do is get home field advantage

00:52:34 and win two playoff games.

00:52:36 - So, Pete, talk to me about the Broncos,

00:52:38 because you are a noted Russell Wilson hater.

00:52:40 You think that he's the worst quarterback in the NFL,

00:52:42 that he never should have been drafted.

00:52:44 No, that's what you said.

00:52:45 I read your articles.

00:52:46 - And you watched the tape.

00:52:47 - You watched the tape, confirmed.

00:52:48 But you don't think that Sean Payton can fix him.

00:52:50 You probably think he's just,

00:52:51 is Russell Wilson unfixable?

00:52:53 - Yeah, to ever be the quarterback

00:52:55 that everybody thought he was, yes.

00:52:56 He's never gonna be that.

00:52:57 He never was that.

00:52:59 He was a good, functional quarterback

00:53:01 who had the top-ranked scoring defense

00:53:03 four straight years in the league.

00:53:05 The last team to do that was the '50s Browns,

00:53:08 which was a dynasty.

00:53:09 They made it easy on him.

00:53:10 Then he had a couple good years,

00:53:12 and then he was done.

00:53:13 - So with the Broncos, though,

00:53:14 they're gonna have one of the best defenses

00:53:16 in the league, though.

00:53:17 - Yeah, I wouldn't say that.

00:53:19 - So if Russell Wilson can be average to above average,

00:53:22 the Broncos should be a good team.

00:53:23 - If he's above average, they'll be a better team.

00:53:26 They can get nine games.

00:53:27 - Okay.

00:53:28 - I mean, he was a disaster last year.

00:53:29 - He was, he was.

00:53:30 - He was terrible.

00:53:31 - He was.

00:53:32 So in the AFC, if not the Jags, who is the pick?

00:53:37 Because I don't, you're really way too high on the Jags.

00:53:41 I'm gonna say it right now.

00:53:42 Maybe we'll play this back,

00:53:43 and you were the true sayer.

00:53:44 - I'm not saying they're the best team right now.

00:53:46 - Right.

00:53:47 - But the schedule will make them get their number one seed.

00:53:49 - Okay, and if they play the Chiefs?

00:53:51 - Buffalo.

00:53:52 - Okay.

00:53:53 - Buffalo and the Chiefs are gonna be right in the mix again.

00:53:55 Why everybody is sleeping on the bills, I have no idea.

00:53:58 - We--

00:53:59 - I don't get it.

00:54:00 - PFT and I actually had this conversation,

00:54:01 because obviously our listeners don't love the fact

00:54:03 that we love Josh Allen so much,

00:54:05 and we are biased towards Josh Allen and the Bills.

00:54:08 But I don't remember a team that was as dominant

00:54:11 as they were last year, where there were 13,

00:54:14 there were 14 and three, or 13 and three,

00:54:16 'cause they didn't play that game against the Bengals,

00:54:19 where their losses were by a score or less,

00:54:22 and yes, their game against the Bengals

00:54:24 was atrocious in the playoffs.

00:54:26 But that doesn't mean they're all of a sudden a bad team.

00:54:29 They were dominant last year.

00:54:30 - By the way, I was on that Josh Allen bandwagon

00:54:33 with you guys a long time ago.

00:54:35 - That's true, that's facts.

00:54:36 - When he came out of Wyoming.

00:54:37 - That's facts.

00:54:38 - And everybody killed that kid,

00:54:40 just they were just brutal on him.

00:54:43 And so what he's done is amazing, and I agree with you.

00:54:46 Look at that team.

00:54:48 He's gonna be that much better,

00:54:50 'cause he was good last year.

00:54:51 People think he turned the ball over

00:54:52 'cause they ran him too much, that's part of the problem.

00:54:55 They'll be better running the ball.

00:54:56 Kincaid will help open up the passing game

00:54:58 in the middle of the field.

00:55:00 Then you go to the defense.

00:55:01 Leslie Frazier was vanilla.

00:55:03 He played a vanilla defense.

00:55:04 They didn't attack.

00:55:06 Sean McDermott will attack more,

00:55:08 and I think that's gonna be better for the defense.

00:55:10 Sleeping on the Bills is just dumb.

00:55:12 They're gonna win the division

00:55:13 and be in the mix again to go to the Super Bowl.

00:55:15 - I like it.

00:55:16 You didn't mention the Patriots.

00:55:17 You haven't said the word Patriots yet.

00:55:18 You mentioned every other team in that division.

00:55:20 You're totally out on the Patriots.

00:55:21 - I mean, you look at that roster, ugh, it's bad.

00:55:26 The offensive line isn't good.

00:55:27 The questions about Mac Jones, the receivers.

00:55:30 I like DeMario Douglas,

00:55:31 but I think he's gonna be a good player, but he's a rookie.

00:55:34 Defense, they have some talent on that side of the ball.

00:55:36 They'll be feisty,

00:55:37 but do you see Mac Jones taking an enormous step forward?

00:55:41 No, and so they're the worst quarterback team

00:55:44 in the division, which is gonna be a problem for them.

00:55:46 - So hot seat Bill Belichick.

00:55:47 - That's ridiculous.

00:55:50 That guy can go out whenever he wants to.

00:55:50 - I mean, you just said the Jacks

00:55:52 are gonna go to the Super Bowl.

00:55:53 You're ridiculous.

00:55:54 - Yeah, I think that's way more ridiculous.

00:55:56 That is ridiculous.

00:55:57 - Wait, they're gonna fire Bill Belichick.

00:55:59 - No, I just said hot seat.

00:56:00 That doesn't mean they have to fire him.

00:56:01 It just means that we get to talk about them firing him.

00:56:04 - Hot seat.

00:56:04 You know what he has to do?

00:56:06 If Kraft came into his office and said,

00:56:08 hey, we're thinking about making a change or something,

00:56:11 he should point to all the skins on the wall

00:56:13 and say, look what I got you here, buddy.

00:56:15 Come on.

00:56:16 - Okay.

00:56:16 - Kraft could go in there and be like,

00:56:17 hey, Belichick, you're fired,

00:56:18 and Belichick would be like, no.

00:56:19 - Yeah.

00:56:20 - And Robert Kraft would be like, okay, fair enough.

00:56:21 - Yeah, good talk.

00:56:23 - Probably.

00:56:23 - See you next year.

00:56:24 - Probably.

00:56:25 - See you next year.

00:56:26 - I'm gonna cut you, Kraft.

00:56:27 - Yeah.

00:56:28 All right, so what about a team that I'm high on

00:56:29 that you don't have in the playoffs, the Baltimore Ravens?

00:56:32 I do think Todd Munkin and that offense

00:56:34 are gonna be humming.

00:56:36 They finally have receivers.

00:56:38 Zay Flowers, Odell Beckham.

00:56:40 We'll see what happens with everyone else.

00:56:42 I think Rashad Bateman's already hurt.

00:56:44 Why are you saying the Ravens

00:56:45 are not gonna be a playoff team?

00:56:48 - I'm with you on the offense.

00:56:49 I, Todd Munkin's a great offensive mind.

00:56:51 I think he's gonna really help Lamar Jackson

00:56:54 become a better passer, and you're right,

00:56:55 they're gonna score points.

00:56:56 I worry about the defense.

00:56:57 There's injuries in the secondary already.

00:56:59 It's not a great secondary.

00:57:01 They need their pass rushers like Ojabo

00:57:04 to take the big step forward.

00:57:05 Those are big questions.

00:57:06 So I worry about the defense.

00:57:08 Not so much the offense.

00:57:09 I'm with you.

00:57:10 I think they're gonna score a ton of points.

00:57:11 I think Lamar Jackson's gonna be phenomenal

00:57:12 in that offense, but I worry about the defense.

00:57:15 - Okay, okay, that's fair.

00:57:16 Now on the NFC side of things,

00:57:18 we can get your playoff teams in a second,

00:57:19 but I just want to point out something

00:57:21 that will be alarming to some of our listeners.

00:57:24 You have the Lions in your power rankings.

00:57:26 Everyone pays attention to the Pete Prisco Power Rankings.

00:57:28 - Bible for me.

00:57:29 - You have the Lions at 15.

00:57:31 Ahead of the Lions, you have the Packers.

00:57:34 You put the Packers ahead of the Lions.

00:57:37 You put the Cowboys ahead of the Lions.

00:57:39 You put the Browns ahead of the Lions.

00:57:40 You put the Commanders ahead of the Detroit Lions.

00:57:43 We're Detroit Lions supporters.

00:57:46 We like Jared Goff.

00:57:47 We like their coach.

00:57:49 It sounds like you're a hater, Pete.

00:57:50 Why are you hating on the Lions?

00:57:51 - I'm not a hater.

00:57:52 And I'm with you on Jared Goff.

00:57:54 In fact, you guys, one time I went there

00:57:58 and talked to him in training camp

00:57:59 and he brought up an interview that I had with you guys.

00:58:02 So he's well aware.

00:58:04 Oh yeah.

00:58:05 I love Jared Goff.

00:58:06 I just think there's another team.

00:58:08 What if they ever won?

00:58:10 And you have to learn how to win.

00:58:11 This is the year.

00:58:12 You try and figure it out.

00:58:14 The next year, I think they're gonna be a much better team.

00:58:17 - I almost respect what Pete's doing here.

00:58:18 He's saying like, if you haven't already been good,

00:58:21 then you're one year away.

00:58:22 - Yeah.

00:58:23 - And so you can always be one year late

00:58:24 to supporting a team,

00:58:25 but you're never gonna be one year early.

00:58:26 - So he's not hating either.

00:58:28 You know, he's like, he's remembering the facts.

00:58:30 - No, I'm not hating.

00:58:31 - Yeah, right.

00:58:32 - I'm not hating.

00:58:33 I just think the expectations are out of this world

00:58:37 for that team.

00:58:38 They really are.

00:58:39 - You have the Jaguars going to the Super Bowl.

00:58:41 (laughing)

00:58:44 No, no one, no one.

00:58:45 Yeah, this is why you're the best.

00:58:47 All right, so give us the NFC playoff teams,

00:58:49 which is definitely harder to do

00:58:51 because it does feel like if you had,

00:58:53 I think the AFC has probably 10 teams

00:58:56 that I could see conceivably winning the Super Bowl.

00:58:59 The NFC might have two or three

00:59:01 that I can conceivably see winning the Super Bowl.

00:59:03 So give us the seven playoff teams from the NFC.

00:59:06 - Division winners, Eagles, Packers.

00:59:11 Yes, the Packers are winning that division.

00:59:14 The 49ers and the Saints.

00:59:18 - Okay.

00:59:19 - That's the division winners.

00:59:20 - Okay.

00:59:20 - Wild Card, Dallas, Washington.

00:59:25 - Yeah, no, Pete's right about all these stakes.

00:59:26 Pete is--

00:59:27 - And the Lions.

00:59:28 - On the money.

00:59:29 - Okay.

00:59:30 - What is it with the commanders that you love?

00:59:32 - You look at that roster, that roster is loaded.

00:59:37 And you look, if you can rush with a front four,

00:59:39 and Chase Young's gonna have a big year

00:59:40 when he gets back on that field.

00:59:42 He's gonna have a big year.

00:59:43 That defense is gonna be nasty.

00:59:45 Forbes is really good at corner to elevate the back end.

00:59:48 Curls, one of the most underrated players in the NFL.

00:59:52 You go to the offensive side,

00:59:54 they've improved the offensive line,

00:59:56 and the receivers are playmakers.

00:59:58 And I think Sam Howell's better

01:00:00 than people give him credit for.

01:00:01 - Yep, okay.

01:00:02 - I think he's gonna have a good year for them.

01:00:04 It can't be any worse than they were

01:00:05 at quarterback the last couple years.

01:00:07 - Okay. - True, true.

01:00:08 I mean, Taylor Heineke was all right.

01:00:10 Carson Wentz, that was just a disaster.

01:00:13 He's painful to watch.

01:00:14 He's not gonna play this year, is he?

01:00:15 - No.

01:00:18 Maybe he'll play in that spring league next year.

01:00:22 - Yeah, a little spring league.

01:00:23 - I'm actually with you on the commanders.

01:00:25 I think they're gonna be better than people think.

01:00:27 I disagree about Chase Young, though.

01:00:29 I feel like the wheels are coming off of Chase Young.

01:00:31 He can't stay on the field.

01:00:33 I think it's been proven that Montez Sweat

01:00:35 is a more effective, more productive player

01:00:38 than Chase Young when he's playing.

01:00:39 And yeah, he's in the contract year,

01:00:41 but I think in Chase Young's own mind,

01:00:42 he's almost like in take care of my body

01:00:45 so I can cash in mode.

01:00:46 But I don't think he's done that calculation correctly.

01:00:49 - Yeah, but that doesn't work.

01:00:50 - Yeah. - It doesn't work.

01:00:51 - He hasn't done the calculation correctly.

01:00:51 - 12 sacks, 13 sacks.

01:00:53 - He hasn't been out there enough.

01:00:54 - If he's on the field, he's gonna get 'em.

01:00:56 - Yeah. - He's gonna get 'em.

01:00:57 - Okay, all right, so teams you left out, Giants.

01:01:00 You're not a believer in the Giants.

01:01:03 They added Darren Waller.

01:01:04 They obviously paid Daniel Jones.

01:01:06 Brian Dable, I think, is a top 10, maybe top five coach

01:01:11 for just what he did last year.

01:01:13 Why are you so low on the Giants this year?

01:01:15 - No, I'm not low on 'em.

01:01:17 I just think that division's tough.

01:01:19 And if you're gonna put Washington in,

01:01:20 that means the Giants are out.

01:01:21 I don't think both of 'em can be in.

01:01:23 The Giants are gonna win seven, eight games.

01:01:26 And they're gonna be a competitive team.

01:01:28 I don't think they're gonna be much worse.

01:01:30 But they also have some issues.

01:01:31 They got two rookie corners starting.

01:01:33 That's tough, that's always tough.

01:01:35 So there are issues with the Giants.

01:01:37 And by the way, I'm a big Dable guy.

01:01:39 I think he's a great coach.

01:01:40 - Okay, and now, I don't wanna ask this question,

01:01:43 but I have to ask this question,

01:01:44 'cause I feel like you're gonna give me an answer

01:01:46 I don't like.

01:01:47 Justin Fields.

01:01:48 - No, you're gonna like this answer.

01:01:51 - Okay. - I think this is

01:01:52 the year before the year for Justin Fields.

01:01:54 - I like this. - They added some weapons.

01:01:56 They added some weapons for him.

01:01:58 He's gonna improve as a passer.

01:01:59 - He's gonna learn how to win. - He's gonna run less.

01:02:01 As the rushing yards come down, the passing yards go up.

01:02:04 That's a good thing for a young quarterback.

01:02:07 I love where they're headed.

01:02:09 This is the year before the year.

01:02:10 - Do you know what's great about Pete?

01:02:12 We're doing this year's preview and next year's.

01:02:15 We don't have to have him back on next year.

01:02:17 He's giving us all the teams next year.

01:02:19 - You always gotta peek ahead.

01:02:20 - Yeah. - Come on.

01:02:21 That's the way this thing is done.

01:02:22 - I mean, I do think he's gonna have

01:02:24 a much better passing year,

01:02:25 just because people obviously pick him apart.

01:02:29 He's a controversial quarterback.

01:02:31 But the fact that he was,

01:02:32 the guys he was throwing to last year,

01:02:34 DJ Moore makes everything so much easier.

01:02:37 And it also slots in the guys behind him

01:02:39 to play their natural position of Darnell Mooney,

01:02:42 Chase Claypool, Cole Kmet.

01:02:45 I do think he's gonna have a lot better year.

01:02:46 I'm worried about the defense, the pass rush.

01:02:49 But I think Justin Fields,

01:02:50 he's gonna do enough this year to get that extension.

01:02:53 And everyone's gonna be like,

01:02:54 yeah, this is the franchise guy.

01:02:57 - I think he's a good passer when he has weapons.

01:03:00 We saw that in college.

01:03:01 For everybody that picks him apart because he ran so much,

01:03:04 look, I hate running quarterbacks,

01:03:06 but you have to do it at a necessity sometimes, and he did.

01:03:09 Now he'll develop and stay in the pocket

01:03:11 and go through his progressions and his reads.

01:03:13 His rushing yardage will come down by two thirds.

01:03:17 - Okay.

01:03:18 - He'll rush for 500, 700, 600 yards.

01:03:20 - And then what about the Vikings and the Seahawks?

01:03:22 You have them out as well,

01:03:23 two teams that made the playoffs last year.

01:03:25 - Well, the Vikings won so many close games last year.

01:03:28 Were they that good?

01:03:29 You know, when you win that many games,

01:03:30 everything goes your way.

01:03:32 I do like Brian Flores as a defensive coordinator,

01:03:35 but again, Kirk Cousins in the big moments,

01:03:38 don't you worry about that.

01:03:39 If you're a Vikings fan, they have to.

01:03:41 - But there's two sides to this, Pete.

01:03:43 So you're saying that you don't trust the Vikings

01:03:45 because they learned how to win too well last year.

01:03:48 They spent all last year learning how to win.

01:03:50 Right?

01:03:51 Maybe they weren't that great,

01:03:52 but they got an A plus in learning how to win.

01:03:54 So now they're educated in that.

01:03:56 - Well, they won to get to the playoffs,

01:03:58 but they didn't win in the playoffs.

01:03:59 So they didn't learn how to win,

01:04:01 quite how to win a playoff game.

01:04:03 (laughing)

01:04:04 And Kirk Cousins had a problem winning playoff games.

01:04:05 - He does have a problem with that, yeah.

01:04:07 What about the Cowboys?

01:04:08 They know how to win regular season games.

01:04:10 They don't know how to win playoff games.

01:04:12 Does Dak suck?

01:04:13 - No, he doesn't suck.

01:04:16 But this is a big year for Dak Prescott.

01:04:18 It's a big year for Mike McCarthy.

01:04:20 They have to make the postseason.

01:04:21 If they don't make the playoffs,

01:04:23 Mike McCarthy's probably gone,

01:04:25 and Dak Prescott is in trouble.

01:04:27 So yeah, he has to play well.

01:04:29 - So I trust that defense,

01:04:30 but there's something about the combo of McCarthy and Dak

01:04:34 that just, I feel like the wheels

01:04:35 are gonna fall off this year.

01:04:36 I feel like this is gonna be the end of this era

01:04:39 for the Cowboys.

01:04:39 - Why does everybody pick Mike McCarthy apart?

01:04:43 I mean, if you look at his record

01:04:45 and the way he's had success over the course of his career,

01:04:48 he's no different than Sean Payton.

01:04:50 And yet Sean Payton's elevated up here

01:04:52 and Mike McCarthy's down here.

01:04:54 - I don't know the answer to that, Pete.

01:04:54 - Yeah, you know the answer.

01:04:55 - You know the answer. - He's fat.

01:04:56 He's fat. - He's a big guy.

01:04:57 - He's fat.

01:04:58 - So when he makes mistakes, he looks dumber.

01:05:00 - Yeah, no, he has that look.

01:05:02 Yeah, like P.H.D. said, when he fucks up,

01:05:05 he's fat and he has that look like

01:05:07 he's just staring off into the distance,

01:05:09 being like, "What is going on right now?"

01:05:10 - Sounds like there's a tuba playing

01:05:12 whenever he's on screen.

01:05:13 - Yeah. - Boom, boom, boom.

01:05:14 - Mike McCarthy might be the most misunderstood guy

01:05:19 in the NFL.

01:05:20 Everybody, you look, like you just described him.

01:05:22 He seems like that.

01:05:24 Mike McCarthy's a tough guy from Pittsburgh.

01:05:27 He isn't what you think he is.

01:05:29 - No, I know he's tough.

01:05:30 I'm just saying, look, it's just how the world works.

01:05:33 When fat guys make mistakes,

01:05:34 they get blamed a little bit more

01:05:36 because everyone's like,

01:05:37 "Look, his fat, dumb brain isn't working."

01:05:39 I have to deal with it all the time.

01:05:41 - Yeah, me too.

01:05:42 I've had it my whole life.

01:05:43 - Yeah. - Yeah, little fat guy.

01:05:45 - Well, no, when you make a mistake,

01:05:46 it's like, "Oh, the short guy's

01:05:47 "trying to take over Europe again."

01:05:49 - Yeah, that's (laughs)

01:05:51 - That's what you get. - Unbelievable.

01:05:53 - Yeah, yeah.

01:05:54 - Part of my take is sponsored by BetterHelp.

01:05:57 We're gonna get back to Pete Prisco in a second.

01:05:59 Before we do, he's brought to you by BetterHelp.

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01:07:00 And now, here's more Pete Prisco.

01:07:02 - All right, so why are you low on Geno Smith?

01:07:06 I'm actually, I've become a converted Geno Smith believer.

01:07:09 His weapons are incredible.

01:07:11 You know, DK, Tyler Lockett, Jackson Smith, Najeeba.

01:07:14 Like, they're gonna be able to pass the ball.

01:07:17 Why are you not believing?

01:07:18 And, by the way, the Seahawks defense,

01:07:21 like, they have some phenomenal young guys on their defense.

01:07:24 - The young guys, yeah, they're young guys.

01:07:26 And if they take a step forward

01:07:27 and Geno plays like he did last year,

01:07:29 they could replace one of those teams.

01:07:31 I had a hard time, you know, with the last wildcard team.

01:07:34 They're gonna be in the mix 'cause I'm with you.

01:07:36 But Geno's gotta show he can do it again.

01:07:39 - Okay. - Right?

01:07:40 - Yeah, yeah, that's true.

01:07:41 Can you give us a quarterback

01:07:42 that maybe nobody is expecting anything out of

01:07:45 that you think is either gonna take that next step

01:07:47 or surprise everybody?

01:07:49 - I think Sam Howell's gonna surprise everybody.

01:07:52 - Mm-hmm. - I do.

01:07:53 - Yeah, so did you watch his tape from North Carolina?

01:07:57 - Yes.

01:07:57 - So he had that really good second to last season,

01:07:59 and then they made him run the ball more

01:08:01 in his last season. - It was ridiculous.

01:08:03 I don't understand what they did with him.

01:08:04 - He's actually-- - And he had playmakers outside.

01:08:06 I never quite understood what they did with him.

01:08:08 - So I-- - I'm telling you,

01:08:10 he has a little chip on his shoulder, too.

01:08:12 He's one of those guys.

01:08:13 - Yeah, the thing I-- - The other quarterback

01:08:14 who's gonna surprise everybody, Jordan Love.

01:08:16 - Oh, I don't like that.

01:08:18 I don't like that.

01:08:19 - The thing I don't like about Sam Howell, though,

01:08:21 is I don't know if you know this, Pete,

01:08:22 he doesn't eat red meat.

01:08:23 - Neither does Justin Fields.

01:08:25 - Yeah, it's a big question mark.

01:08:27 - We should do that in solidarity with our guys.

01:08:29 - Just stop eating red meat? - Yeah, no.

01:08:30 - I would never do that.

01:08:32 - So he doesn't eat a lot of things, though, right?

01:08:35 Sam Howell.

01:08:36 - Sam Howell, I don't know.

01:08:38 I know that he eats chicken.

01:08:39 He eats a lot of chicken,

01:08:40 and he tried steak for the first time this offseason.

01:08:43 He said it was okay, but he doesn't eat it, eat it.

01:08:46 And I feel like that's a red flag for a quarterback.

01:08:49 - He's trying to be healthy.

01:08:50 Justin Fields is a vegetarian, I think, isn't he?

01:08:52 - He eats fish now, no big deal.

01:08:54 - Oh, he does? - Yeah, yeah.

01:08:55 - So he advanced to the fish in the water.

01:08:58 Okay, I get it. - Yeah, yeah, pesto fish.

01:08:58 - How about shellfish, does he eat that, too?

01:09:00 - Yeah, I'm sure.

01:09:01 I'm sure he's housing some lobster every now and then,

01:09:04 some crab.

01:09:05 - Going through your whole life eating leafy greens?

01:09:08 - Yeah. - I mean, come on.

01:09:09 - It's no way to live, no.

01:09:10 What about Deshaun?

01:09:11 Are you a believer in Deshaun?

01:09:12 - Would you last a week?

01:09:13 - No. - Eating leafy greens?

01:09:15 - No, I think about my diet and I'm like,

01:09:18 there hasn't been a day in probably 20 years

01:09:20 where I didn't have some type of meat.

01:09:22 - I don't eat a lot of meat, I'll be honest with you.

01:09:23 I don't eat a lot of meat. - That's a lie.

01:09:25 You eat-- - You get fat shamed

01:09:26 every Saturday by Booger.

01:09:28 - Yeah, I know. - It's terrible

01:09:29 what he does to you.

01:09:29 - It's bullshit and that's a lie.

01:09:30 - Can a man eat a couple donuts, Booger?

01:09:32 - You brush your teeth with Italian sausage.

01:09:35 I know you, Pete, I know you well.

01:09:37 - He showers with gravy. - Yeah.

01:09:39 - Oh, you guys went there.

01:09:41 - Well, actually, Pete, maybe if you ate some more meat,

01:09:44 you'd be a little bit stronger,

01:09:45 you'd be able to do more pushups.

01:09:46 I've heard that your pushup game's been--

01:09:47 - No, I'm not lifting hard anymore, I'm done with that.

01:09:50 Doctor told me to quit it.

01:09:51 - Oh, okay, all right, so wait, Pete,

01:09:53 I wanna do this real quick 'cause you do watch the film

01:09:55 and this is educational for our listeners and viewers.

01:09:58 Let's rank some position groups.

01:10:01 Give me your top three offensive lines in the NFL.

01:10:05 - Eagles. - Okay.

01:10:08 - The Cowboys when they're healthy.

01:10:11 - Okay. - Everybody's gotta be healthy.

01:10:14 - The Chiefs. - Ooh, okay.

01:10:17 What about secondaries? - Because the Chiefs'

01:10:19 interior is outstanding.

01:10:21 They paid a bunch of money for Jawan Taylor at right tackle

01:10:23 and they got a veteran at left tackle at Smith.

01:10:25 So I think that that's one of the best lines in the league.

01:10:28 - Are you concerned about the Chiefs' defensive line?

01:10:31 - Very much so.

01:10:32 If Chris Jones is not there, major problem

01:10:35 because he's the game wrecker,

01:10:37 makes everybody else better.

01:10:39 They have problems and so yeah,

01:10:41 if he's not there, very concerned.

01:10:43 - So it's very concerning for you.

01:10:45 The Detroit Lions also have a very talented offensive line.

01:10:48 They're matched up against the Chiefs week one

01:10:51 but you're a Detroit Lions hater

01:10:52 so you don't think that the Lions have a shot?

01:10:55 - No, they have a shot but I just think Mahomes

01:10:57 is gonna be Mahomes, Andy Reid's gonna be Andy Reid

01:10:59 and they're gonna score a boatload of points.

01:11:00 He proved last year, he could throw to us three

01:11:02 and score points. - That's true.

01:11:03 - He's gonna score a lot of points.

01:11:04 - All right, so give us the reverse actually.

01:11:06 Let's do it this way.

01:11:06 Bottom three offensive lines

01:11:08 because these are the teams that we should all be selling on

01:11:11 and fading 'cause offensive line play is so important.

01:11:14 Who have the three weakest offensive lines?

01:11:17 - New England's one of them.

01:11:18 - Okay.

01:11:19 - Their line stinks.

01:11:20 Miami's line is concerning.

01:11:24 - Okay.

01:11:25 - And Tampa Bay could be a problem.

01:11:28 - Okay.

01:11:29 - What about Deshaun?

01:11:31 You think that this is bounce back year for Deshaun?

01:11:34 - I do.

01:11:35 I don't think it's gonna be Deshaun from the Houston days

01:11:39 in terms of what he does on the field.

01:11:41 But he's gonna be much better than the guy we saw last year.

01:11:45 That team has a ton of talent across the board.

01:11:49 - Yeah.

01:11:50 - If he plays anywhere close to what he did in Houston,

01:11:52 which is why I think he will,

01:11:53 I think there'll be a playoff team.

01:11:55 - Okay, what about, give us your best

01:11:59 and worst defensive lines.

01:12:01 - Best and worst defensive,

01:12:03 well, Arizona's defensive line is a problem,

01:12:05 but you can say that about every position with that team.

01:12:08 - Yeah, a problem in like a bad way.

01:12:10 - Yeah.

01:12:11 - Not in like a problem the game plan against.

01:12:14 - They're tanking.

01:12:15 - Yeah.

01:12:16 - No, it's a bad way.

01:12:17 They're tanking in Arizona.

01:12:18 I don't care what they say.

01:12:19 We're gonna get rid of Kyle Murray

01:12:20 and draft Caleb Williams.

01:12:21 - Yeah.

01:12:22 - That's the plan.

01:12:23 - Yeah.

01:12:24 - What do you think about Coach Gannon?

01:12:25 Do you think that he's a one-year guy?

01:12:26 He gives me one-year vibes just from the get-go.

01:12:29 - Yeah, but you know what?

01:12:30 They said the same thing about Shane Stikin

01:12:32 after his opening press conference.

01:12:33 I don't buy into all that.

01:12:36 How does he portray himself?

01:12:37 There's team meetings and everything.

01:12:39 Good, no, I don't.

01:12:40 We have no idea.

01:12:41 - Okay, all right, other two.

01:12:44 Give us some more defensive lines, both good and bad.

01:12:47 - Defensive lines that are really good.

01:12:50 - Yeah.

01:12:51 - 49ers.

01:12:52 - Yeah.

01:12:53 - Great defensive line.

01:12:53 The Cowboys have a chance to be really good

01:12:56 on the defensive line.

01:12:57 Now that Parsons is playing with his hand down,

01:12:58 most of them are on the edge.

01:13:00 I'm just trying to think off the top of my head.

01:13:04 Oh, the Jets.

01:13:05 The Jets are loaded on the defensive line.

01:13:08 Quentin Williams is a superstar,

01:13:09 but they have a ton of players

01:13:11 they can rotate in and out of there.

01:13:12 They're gonna come after people.

01:13:13 - What do you think about the Jets' offensive line?

01:13:16 - Problem.

01:13:17 - Problem.

01:13:18 - Good problem.

01:13:19 You're asking an aging left tackle to hold up,

01:13:22 and you got McKay Beckton at right tackle,

01:13:25 which is still a major question mark.

01:13:26 So they have issues on that offensive line.

01:13:28 - All right, can you power rank the rookie quarterbacks?

01:13:31 - One, Bryce Young.

01:13:33 - Okay.

01:13:35 - Two, from an excitement standpoint,

01:13:38 Anthony Richardson and then CJ Stroud.

01:13:40 - I think CJ--

01:13:41 - And then Will Levis.

01:13:42 - I think CJ Stroud will have the best year

01:13:44 of the rookie quarterbacks.

01:13:45 I think Bryce Young will have the best career

01:13:47 of the rookie quarterbacks.

01:13:48 - Why do you think that?

01:13:50 - I think Bryce Young has a lot.

01:13:53 It's gonna be tough for the Panthers this year.

01:13:55 And I think CJ Stroud is gonna be better

01:13:58 in this year and this year only.

01:14:00 - So I think Anthony Richardson's gonna have

01:14:03 like a Justin Fields type of year

01:14:05 where he rushes for 900 yards and makes plays that way.

01:14:10 So from that standpoint, I just think he's gonna

01:14:12 put up big numbers in the rushing game,

01:14:14 which will help make him the better player

01:14:17 than CJ Stroud.

01:14:18 Stroud's a better passer right now.

01:14:20 - What about the Steelers?

01:14:21 We haven't really talked about the Steelers at all.

01:14:23 It feels like they're flying under the radar this year.

01:14:25 Nobody expects anything out of 'em.

01:14:27 People forget Mike Tomlin has never gone under 500.

01:14:30 - They're right there.

01:14:31 I mean, like I said, they could win the division.

01:14:33 Anybody can win that division.

01:14:35 I'm a big picket guy, and I think he's gotten a lot better.

01:14:38 You saw that in the summer.

01:14:40 He's much more confident, and I think they're gonna be,

01:14:43 they can push for the division.

01:14:45 They can be a playoff team.

01:14:46 It's just, you gotta put teams in and out.

01:14:48 Did you guys have the Steelers in the playoffs?

01:14:51 - Yeah, in one of my picks that I did.

01:14:52 - Yeah, in the AFC, my playoff teams are Bills, Jets,

01:14:56 Dolphins, Steelers, Ravens, Bengals, Chargers, Chiefs,

01:15:02 Titans, and Jaguars.

01:15:04 Those are my playoff teams.

01:15:05 - Okay, you got 'em all in.

01:15:06 - Yeah, yeah, no, it's gonna be a great year for the AFC.

01:15:08 They're gonna be the first--

01:15:09 - It'll be like college football.

01:15:10 Everybody makes it.

01:15:11 - Yeah, there should be bowl games in the NFL.

01:15:13 We've talked about that before.

01:15:14 How great it would be if they tapped in one game

01:15:16 at the end of the season, yeah.

01:15:17 - There used to be a losers bowl back in the day.

01:15:21 - Oh, really?

01:15:21 - The third place game?

01:15:22 - I would love to play in that.

01:15:23 - It was the two losers from the conferences

01:15:25 would go play a loser bowl in Miami.

01:15:29 It'd be like, "Hey, check it out."

01:15:31 - I love that idea.

01:15:32 We shouldn't talk about bowl games around Pete

01:15:33 'cause his team can't go to a bowl game.

01:15:36 - Oh, why not, Pete?

01:15:36 What happened?

01:15:37 - Well, they're not very good anyways.

01:15:38 - But even if you were good, you wouldn't go to a bowl game.

01:15:42 - I wouldn't go to, me, I wouldn't go to a bowl game

01:15:47 if you paid me to go to a bowl game

01:15:48 unless it's playing for a national championship

01:15:50 or something.

01:15:51 What are you gonna go see the Tostitos hot dog bowl

01:15:56 or whatever they call 'em?

01:15:56 - That'd be a great bowl game.

01:15:57 - That sounds good.

01:15:58 Yeah, I would go to that.

01:16:00 - Don't you guys have a bowl game?

01:16:02 - It sounds like an awesome menu item at Bob Evans,

01:16:06 the Tostitos hot dog bowl.

01:16:08 - Bowl games are fun.

01:16:09 - Put a little hot dog in it.

01:16:11 - Yeah.

01:16:11 - Well, to be fair, Big Cat's being a little bit unfair

01:16:14 to you, Pete, because that's a self-imposed

01:16:16 bowl game suspension.

01:16:17 So you guys would probably make one,

01:16:19 but you're just saying, "Hey, for the record,

01:16:21 "we're not gonna go."

01:16:23 - They're not making one either.

01:16:24 They beat Southern Utah 24-21 the other day.

01:16:27 - Hey, wins a win.

01:16:28 - Could you imagine going to that game?

01:16:30 There was a two and a half hour delay.

01:16:31 You're winning 24 to seven or something,

01:16:33 and then they come back after two,

01:16:35 and it got over at one o'clock in the morning,

01:16:38 Arizona time.

01:16:39 - All right, so Pete, give me your Offensive Player

01:16:42 of the Year and your Defensive Player of the Year.

01:16:43 - Ooh, I like this.

01:16:44 - Is it MVP or Offensive Player of the Year?

01:16:48 - Offensive Player of the Year.

01:16:49 - He said the question correctly.

01:16:51 - Okay.

01:16:52 Justin Jefferson will be the Offensive Player of the Year,

01:16:55 and Micah Parsons will be the Defensive Player.

01:16:59 - We are doing last year's picks this year,

01:17:01 and then we're previewing next year's picks this year.

01:17:03 - Yes.

01:17:04 - Awesome.

01:17:05 - So, okay, for next year,

01:17:06 you really want me to go?

01:17:09 - Yeah.

01:17:10 - You gotta peek ahead.

01:17:11 It's like doing a salary cap.

01:17:12 You gotta look ahead.

01:17:13 - All right, so here's a question I got for you, Pete.

01:17:16 What is the next zag in the league

01:17:20 when it comes to how teams play?

01:17:22 How do you see some team figuring out a way

01:17:25 to play against how football has gone,

01:17:27 where it's passing all the time,

01:17:29 and these wide open offenses?

01:17:30 What is the antidote to that?

01:17:32 Is there a team specifically and a scheme specifically

01:17:36 that you see coming along the pipeline?

01:17:38 - No, running the ball is gonna come back.

01:17:43 Running backs aren't gonna come back,

01:17:44 but running the ball is gonna come back.

01:17:46 Everybody's played, the schemes last year were off coverage.

01:17:50 Make quarterbacks be patient.

01:17:52 So what do you do?

01:17:53 Pound it, pound it, pound it.

01:17:55 And it doesn't necessarily have to be

01:17:57 out of those bunched up formations,

01:17:59 but you run the ball, get them out of that defense,

01:18:02 and then throw over the top.

01:18:03 So I think the running attacks will come back

01:18:05 in vogue a little bit this year.

01:18:07 - I like that.

01:18:07 - Yeah, Pete, you know, there was a lot of talk

01:18:10 this off season about running backs

01:18:12 and how it's the death of the position

01:18:13 and they're not getting paid anymore.

01:18:15 And everyone's wondering when did this happen?

01:18:16 How did this happen?

01:18:18 It's actually you.

01:18:19 You were the first person that I remember saying,

01:18:22 never pay a running back any money whatsoever.

01:18:24 Do you feel bad that you've taken food

01:18:27 off of Jonathan Taylor's table?

01:18:29 - No, I said that, what, a decade ago?

01:18:32 Maybe even longer than that.

01:18:34 They don't decide Super Bowls.

01:18:36 They just don't.

01:18:37 They're interchangeable.

01:18:39 And the great one isn't that much different

01:18:42 than the next guy down the list.

01:18:44 It's just different.

01:18:45 It's a different game now.

01:18:47 - I would disagree because--

01:18:47 - So yeah, am I responsible?

01:18:49 - Yeah.

01:18:50 - They just caught up to me.

01:18:51 The NFL GMs finally caught up to me.

01:18:53 - They usually do.

01:18:54 I'm a little ahead of them most of the time.

01:18:56 - But think about it this way.

01:18:57 Derek Henry, if Derek Henry has,

01:18:59 if he wasn't on the Titans for the last three seasons,

01:19:02 they would be a bad team with an average running back.

01:19:05 But they had Derek Henry who's the best in the league

01:19:08 and they were a playoff team because of him.

01:19:10 - And they got what?

01:19:13 Did they have a parade in Nashville?

01:19:15 I missed, did I miss a parade?

01:19:16 They don't win Super Bowls.

01:19:18 I think the last first round pick

01:19:21 to win a Super Bowl as a homegrown runner

01:19:24 was Jamal Lewis, maybe?

01:19:29 I don't think he was a first round pick.

01:19:30 I mean, it's been a long time.

01:19:32 - So when the Lions took Gibbs

01:19:38 and the Falcons took Robinson in the first round,

01:19:43 did you throw up?

01:19:44 - No.

01:19:45 Yes, I did.

01:19:46 It was disgusting.

01:19:48 You take a running back that high,

01:19:49 look, and they're good players.

01:19:51 But what's the philosophy?

01:19:53 Draft them, run them into the ground,

01:19:56 and then four years later you draft another one

01:19:58 and don't pay that one.

01:19:59 Look at the Chiefs.

01:20:01 The Chiefs found Pacheco in the seventh round

01:20:03 and won a Super Bowl with him.

01:20:05 You don't need a premier elite running back.

01:20:08 And that's why they're not getting paid.

01:20:10 Who was the last guy to get paid, Elliott?

01:20:13 - Oh, well, Christian McCaffrey.

01:20:14 Christian McCaffrey.

01:20:15 - Yeah.

01:20:18 He's a little different,

01:20:19 which is why the Gibbs pick is interesting

01:20:21 because he's an air back.

01:20:22 He catches the ball.

01:20:23 They can slot him out like McCaffrey does.

01:20:25 It's a little different style runner.

01:20:29 - What's a team that everyone's low on

01:20:31 that you could see,

01:20:32 maybe they're not even a playoff team,

01:20:34 but they're better than what people are prognosticating

01:20:39 going into the season?

01:20:40 - Green Bay.

01:20:44 - Okay, that hurts.

01:20:45 Okay, why?

01:20:46 You like Jordan Love? - I knew you didn't like that.

01:20:47 - You like Jordan Love?

01:20:48 Why do you like Jordan Love?

01:20:50 - You know, his tape coming out was great.

01:20:53 I'll be honest with you.

01:20:54 I didn't love it.

01:20:56 I think sitting for three years has helped him.

01:20:59 And going there and watching him practice this summer,

01:21:03 and I know it's just practice,

01:21:05 but he's got a different feel to him.

01:21:07 And then talking to the players,

01:21:09 he's got a little of that crap inside of him

01:21:11 that you didn't know he had.

01:21:13 So I think that combined with the fact he has a good arm,

01:21:16 he's comfortable in the offense,

01:21:17 the defense is gonna be really good, by the way.

01:21:20 And if the offensive line stays healthy,

01:21:22 and again, big if, with Bakhtiari at left tackle,

01:21:25 they're gonna be good up front.

01:21:26 So I think they have the talent to win that division,

01:21:30 and Christian Watson is gonna put up monster numbers.

01:21:33 - Yeah, he's a problem.

01:21:34 He is a problem.

01:21:35 - I just, I keep going to the fact

01:21:38 that you have the Jaguars in the Super Bowl this year.

01:21:40 - Trevor Lawrence for MVP, too.

01:21:42 - We love Jags fans.

01:21:44 We do Jag off every year.

01:21:45 It seems like we Jag off and then they never finish.

01:21:48 No, we get close, but we never finish.

01:21:50 And I hope that you're right for Uncle Chaps

01:21:53 and the rest of Jaguars nation out there.

01:21:55 It would be very funny to see them in the Super Bowl.

01:21:58 And if they won a Super Bowl,

01:21:59 I feel like you have to give a ring to Urban Meyer.

01:22:00 - No, that's been the end of my work.

01:22:03 - He's the architect of this team, Pete.

01:22:06 - He isn't the architect of the team.

01:22:09 No, he isn't.

01:22:10 - He built this team. - He was a disaster.

01:22:11 He was one of the worst NFL coaches

01:22:14 I've ever seen in my entire life,

01:22:15 and the stories are just endless

01:22:17 when I come out of there about that guy.

01:22:18 - Yeah, do you have an Urban Meyer story

01:22:20 that we haven't heard yet?

01:22:21 'Cause I love whenever,

01:22:22 feels like every six months we get another Urban Meyer story.

01:22:25 - No, I mean, I know some,

01:22:30 but I know my personal interaction with him wasn't great.

01:22:33 - What was that?

01:22:34 - I went up there, I didn't know him.

01:22:36 I didn't know him at all.

01:22:38 But I went up there and was gonna try and get him on camera

01:22:41 for an on-camera interview,

01:22:42 and they didn't make him available.

01:22:45 And what happened was,

01:22:46 they said, "Okay, you can walk over to him

01:22:48 "and say hello to him and introduce yourself."

01:22:51 So I walked over, I said, "Hey, I'm Pete Prisco."

01:22:53 I shook my hand.

01:22:54 I used to cover this team years ago.

01:22:55 Used to live here for there where you live,

01:22:57 and just making small talk.

01:22:59 I said, "I work with Brady Quinn

01:23:00 "who works with him at Fox."

01:23:02 Oh, okay, okay.

01:23:03 And then I was gonna ask him some football questions,

01:23:05 and he shakes my hand and he goes,

01:23:07 "I gotta win," and he ran off.

01:23:08 - Oh, I gotta win? - I gotta win.

01:23:11 - I gotta win, and he ran off.

01:23:12 - That's great.

01:23:14 He's one of the most socially awkward guys

01:23:17 I've ever talked to in this league.

01:23:18 - I'm gonna start using that to get out of conversations.

01:23:20 I gotta go win.

01:23:21 - Hey, real quick, sorry.

01:23:22 Great talking to you, but I gotta go win real quick.

01:23:25 - I'm like, "What?"

01:23:26 I went back and told the guy standing over there,

01:23:28 I go, "You can't believe he just did that to me.

01:23:30 "What an awkward man."

01:23:32 - All right, Pete, well, we appreciate the time.

01:23:33 We gotta go win.

01:23:34 - Yeah, we gotta go win.

01:23:35 I got one last question, the rowback question.

01:23:38 RHOBACK.com, use promo code TAKE.

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01:23:46 Give us the final four and your Super Bowl champion,

01:23:49 because you have the Jags,

01:23:51 but we don't know who's gonna win the Super Bowl,

01:23:53 according to Pete Prisco.

01:23:54 - My final four is the Jacksonville Jaguars

01:23:59 against the Buffalo Bills.

01:24:00 The San Francisco 49ers against the Philadelphia Eagles.

01:24:05 49ers beat the Eagles in San Francisco

01:24:10 'cause they have a favorable division,

01:24:13 and Jacksonville beats Buffalo in Jacksonville.

01:24:16 - And then the 49ers, Kyle Shanahan finally wins his ring

01:24:19 and is anointed the best coach in the league.

01:24:23 - Yes.

01:24:23 - Okay, all right.

01:24:24 - By the way, one bone to pick with you two.

01:24:27 I made that comment about kickers on your show,

01:24:29 and next thing I know,

01:24:30 you're selling shirts with my slogan on it.

01:24:33 - What was the slogan?

01:24:34 - Make your damn kicks?

01:24:35 - Make your damn kicks.

01:24:36 - Yeah, yeah.

01:24:37 - All right, you make a lot of sense.

01:24:38 Checks in the mail.

01:24:39 We'll send you a shirt.

01:24:41 What size do you wear?

01:24:42 - I'd rather have the shirt.

01:24:43 - Okay, well great,

01:24:44 'cause that check was gonna be for like $30,000.

01:24:47 - No, it wasn't.

01:24:48 (laughing)

01:24:48 I get so cold.

01:24:50 - Too bad, Pete.

01:24:51 You got the shirt.

01:24:53 We'll make you an extra one.

01:24:54 - I was like, door number one or door number two,

01:24:56 let's make a deal.

01:24:57 I got the shirt instead of the 30 grand.

01:24:59 - Yeah, we'll throw in an extra shirt

01:25:01 being like I passed up $30,000

01:25:04 and all I got was this shirt.

01:25:06 It's perfect.

01:25:06 (laughing)

01:25:07 - You'll be selling that too.

01:25:08 - Yeah. - Yeah, true.

01:25:09 - All right, Pete, you're the best.

01:25:10 We'll talk to you again during the season.

01:25:12 - Love you, pal. - Thank you for the hot takes.

01:25:14 Go find Pete on Twitter and CBS Sports.

01:25:16 He is the best.

01:25:18 Thanks so much, Pete.

01:25:19 - Okay, time for our interview with Dalvin Cook

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01:26:12 - Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest,

01:26:17 one of the best running backs in the NFL.

01:26:19 It is newly minted New York Jet, Dalvin Cook.

01:26:24 We are a pro running back podcast.

01:26:28 I wanna start there, Dalvin.

01:26:29 I wanna actually begin with,

01:26:31 did you join the Zoom when all the running backs

01:26:34 decided to get together on a Zoom and be like,

01:26:36 why aren't we getting paid enough money?

01:26:38 - Yeah, I was part of that, the whole thing.

01:26:40 - Okay.

01:26:41 And what was, we were joking about it,

01:26:44 'cause we're like, I don't really know,

01:26:46 like at some point you have to join a Zoom,

01:26:48 it feels like it's work now.

01:26:50 Did we get any progress?

01:26:52 Because if you have a message that we need to say

01:26:55 to everyone about the running backs,

01:26:56 we're here to do that for you.

01:26:58 - I think it's kinda clear, to be honest,

01:27:00 like, you know, everybody knows certainty

01:27:02 of the position right now.

01:27:03 Like, it's a vulnerable, like it's a vulnerable spot

01:27:07 to be in, like to be a running back right now.

01:27:09 Like everybody kinda know that.

01:27:11 And you kinda see in the situation,

01:27:13 they'll unravel, like you see the situation

01:27:15 going down in Andy.

01:27:16 You know, you got one of the best young guys

01:27:18 that's trying to, you know, get what he deserve.

01:27:20 And I think it all comes down to about, you know,

01:27:23 ownership and the people in the building value us.

01:27:26 And I just think that's where we're at right now.

01:27:28 So I think the meeting kinda just got our voices out there

01:27:32 and just got it to some of the people

01:27:34 we needed to get it to.

01:27:35 But like, I feel like, you know, we still at that spot

01:27:39 where like, you know, something gotta be done.

01:27:41 - Yeah, I mean, one idea we came up with,

01:27:43 I don't know if it was discussed on the Zoom,

01:27:45 but what if running backs just stopped blocking

01:27:47 for quarterbacks?

01:27:47 What if you stopped picking up blitzes?

01:27:49 Feels like they'd pay you more after that.

01:27:51 - Kinda hard, man, you know, when you love balls so much.

01:27:54 And especially, you know, in my position,

01:27:57 when you got a Hall of Famer back there.

01:27:58 (laughs)

01:28:00 - You gotta block.

01:28:00 - When you got a Hall of Famer back there,

01:28:02 you gotta block for that guy, man.

01:28:04 - Okay. - Yeah, or--

01:28:05 - You gotta block.

01:28:06 - What if there's no franchise tag

01:28:08 for the running back position?

01:28:09 - I'd be cool right there, like, to be honest.

01:28:12 I think we're one of the positions

01:28:13 that I think should not be on a tag.

01:28:16 - Yeah. - I think, you know,

01:28:18 the beating that we take, the overload.

01:28:21 You know, if you're one of those great

01:28:22 and one of those special players, you get the overload.

01:28:24 You get 400 touches a year, damn it.

01:28:26 So it's like, you know, I think we shouldn't,

01:28:29 we shouldn't be able to get a tag, I think so.

01:28:32 - Or, I mean, the tag probably shouldn't exist in general.

01:28:35 It's kind of weird how they came up with that whole idea,

01:28:37 and now you have to play under it.

01:28:39 Or running backs just don't get drafted.

01:28:41 You become free agents the moment

01:28:43 that you step out of college.

01:28:45 You get to decide where to go, go to the highest bidder.

01:28:47 - That's different, I haven't seen it from that--

01:28:49 - That's a good one. - From that perspective.

01:28:51 - Yeah, I mean-- - That's a good one.

01:28:52 But I don't know, like, you just had,

01:28:54 you just had two guys going the first round this year,

01:28:57 like, two of 'em, but--

01:28:58 - Yeah. - Dijon and Camille, right?

01:29:00 Like, two of 'em go, they got some of the money

01:29:03 that they deserve, you know what I'm saying?

01:29:05 Like, you got a rookie making all this money,

01:29:07 you know, more than some of the guys

01:29:08 that have been put in the league.

01:29:10 But it's like, I'm happy for 'em, you know what I'm saying?

01:29:12 Like, just to see 'em getting some money.

01:29:14 But I got a little brother in the league,

01:29:16 so I'm just, you know, I'm just trying

01:29:18 to set the narrative straight, like, you know what I'm saying?

01:29:20 Like, he work his butt off, he do everything right,

01:29:23 you know, he's gonna ball out.

01:29:25 So I just feel like he should get what he deserve.

01:29:27 - Yeah, so, yeah, you mentioned your little brother.

01:29:30 Did that have anything to do with you going

01:29:32 in the division to the Jets,

01:29:35 that you get to play him twice a year now?

01:29:37 - I just think, like, when the thing really unfolded

01:29:39 of me, you know, being a free agent,

01:29:41 like, I think that was really,

01:29:44 that was on the table for me, like,

01:29:46 to join that division, like, the Dolphins or the Jets,

01:29:50 or just to go play in a division.

01:29:51 Like, I don't know how it came down to that so quick,

01:29:53 but that's what it was, like, it unfolded real quick,

01:29:55 and, like, we kinda knew when he was down at the training

01:29:59 with me, like, all right, I might end up

01:30:01 in the same division as you, and as nonchalant as he be,

01:30:05 like, all right, so what?

01:30:07 (laughing)

01:30:08 - Yeah, now, you can be honest with us.

01:30:11 You signed with the Jets mid-August.

01:30:15 Did you do that because it's like, hey,

01:30:17 I don't really wanna go to all of camp,

01:30:18 'cause that would be a really smart decision,

01:30:20 where it's like, let me take a little bit of time.

01:30:22 I am a running back, I do get the wear and tear.

01:30:25 I can pick a team that I want,

01:30:27 'cause you're such a value asset.

01:30:29 Were you making sure that you took enough time

01:30:32 that you didn't have to maybe do, like,

01:30:33 the really shitty days of camp?

01:30:35 - No, I wasn't really, like, looking at it like that,

01:30:37 but, like, no, none of that, it unfolded like that.

01:30:40 Like, you know what I'm saying?

01:30:40 Like, camp is camp.

01:30:42 Like, I know what I'm getting out of camp.

01:30:44 Like, I could get better in camp,

01:30:46 and then you could, something could happen

01:30:47 that you don't want to happen.

01:30:48 So, but, like, I wasn't really thinking like that.

01:30:51 It was really, like, a tough decision coming down to it,

01:30:53 like, you know what I'm saying,

01:30:54 where I wanted to, you know, place my family

01:30:56 and put us in the best position to go be successful.

01:30:58 It was like, you know, I knew nothing outside of Minnesota,

01:31:01 so it was like, all right, let's go weigh my options.

01:31:04 Let's go take a visit to the Jets.

01:31:05 Let's go, you know, see what teams are talking about.

01:31:08 And I think when I took my visit,

01:31:09 I kind of sold things up, but nah,

01:31:13 I actually just had a kid two days ago.

01:31:15 I was kind of waiting, trying to figure this thing out.

01:31:18 - Yeah. - Yeah, I didn't appreciate it.

01:31:20 I just didn't want to, like, come to the conclusion

01:31:22 to just, like, you know, kind of miss his birth

01:31:25 and do things like that.

01:31:26 So I was kind of holding it off as long as I could,

01:31:28 but, like, you know, just, with great people in a facility,

01:31:31 you know, in New York, they kind of let me go back

01:31:33 and, you know, enjoy that time with him.

01:31:36 - That's smart. - But it was good.

01:31:37 - So you had a boy?

01:31:38 - Yes, yeah, of course.

01:31:39 - Congrats, man, that's awesome.

01:31:40 Would you let your son play running back,

01:31:42 if that time comes? - Nope.

01:31:44 - Oh! - Nope.

01:31:44 - No? What position would you say?

01:31:47 - It was a big baby, man.

01:31:48 I don't know, we might go hoopin' or something.

01:31:51 - Yeah, I was gonna say, power forward is the answer.

01:31:54 - Yeah, yeah, man, I've been seeing these contracts

01:31:57 come out, I be like, "Oh, man,

01:31:59 "I think I'm in the wrong sport."

01:32:01 - Yes, yes, yes, absolutely.

01:32:04 So what was it that sold you on the Jets?

01:32:05 Was it Rogers?

01:32:07 Was it the coach?

01:32:08 What was the final thing that you're like,

01:32:10 "This is where I need to be"?

01:32:12 - It was the whole thing, man, and, like, really,

01:32:14 just the feel of it, to be honest.

01:32:16 I came on my visit, like, I had no idea

01:32:18 what I was walking into, man.

01:32:21 I talked to some guys that had been here in the building,

01:32:24 all I heard was great things, like,

01:32:25 "They take care of they guys, they take care of they guys,"

01:32:27 and I just kept hearing that,

01:32:28 "Repeat it, repeat it, repeat it, repeat it,"

01:32:31 and I got here, and the visit just,

01:32:34 you know, everybody enjoyed theyself.

01:32:37 We got a good feel of who they was as an organization.

01:32:41 You know, they got a good feel of who I was as a person.

01:32:43 You know, the film already spoke for what I could give you

01:32:45 on the field, but, like, just sitting down

01:32:48 with those meetings, you know, with Headman and everybody,

01:32:51 it was a great visit, and, like you said,

01:32:53 the roster itself speak for itself, you know.

01:32:56 Dig deep into it.

01:32:58 When I played these guys last year,

01:33:00 the defense is defense, like, they rolling those guys.

01:33:03 They got a great defense, and I think,

01:33:06 with the young running back room that we got,

01:33:08 and just add me with that veteran presence,

01:33:11 you know, just helping these guys, you know,

01:33:12 make more plays on the field,

01:33:14 and, like you said, you got ADAC quarterback,

01:33:17 you got the offensive rookie of the year.

01:33:19 I had to play with some great receivers,

01:33:21 and I'm lucky enough to go play with another great one,

01:33:23 so it was a no-brainer for me.

01:33:26 - Yeah, Rodgers is a great guy.

01:33:27 I've never said a bad word about him.

01:33:28 I mean, he's-- - It's true.

01:33:29 - Selfless teammate, just a great leader.

01:33:32 You got a chance to win with it.

01:33:33 - Yeah, like I said, it was a no-brainer.

01:33:35 I played against that for six years,

01:33:37 so I wasn't trying to be on the opposite side of him,

01:33:38 no more. - Yeah, yeah.

01:33:40 - So let's be friends now. (laughs)

01:33:42 - Yeah, yes, that's how I feel, yeah.

01:33:45 - Did you watch any of the hard knocks?

01:33:47 - I haven't watched it.

01:33:48 - You didn't watch, 'cause my theory was

01:33:49 that you saw the episode where they brought in the mentalists

01:33:52 and the mentalist guy asked for a prediction

01:33:55 on who's gonna win the Super Bowl,

01:33:56 and he turned over a card that said the Jets

01:33:57 are gonna beat the 49ers in the Super Bowl.

01:34:00 My theory was that you watched that,

01:34:02 and you were like, oh shit, this guy says

01:34:03 that the Jets are gonna win the Super Bowl.

01:34:05 I need to be on that team, but you haven't watched it yet.

01:34:08 - Nah, I ain't believing in what he got to say.

01:34:10 I ain't, nah, I ain't watch it.

01:34:13 To be honest, I didn't even watch that episode.

01:34:15 I might need to go watch it, but I ain't.

01:34:17 I haven't watched none of 'em yet, to be honest.

01:34:19 - It's gonna blow your mind when you watch it.

01:34:21 Yeah, you're gonna believe, you're gonna be like,

01:34:23 okay, well that's gonna happen, we're gonna win

01:34:24 the Super Bowl.

01:34:25 - I think it's gonna happen, we got the pieces

01:34:27 to go make it happen, but you know, this league is a,

01:34:30 you know, put the product on the field,

01:34:31 let's play each Sunday, Monday, whatever we play,

01:34:34 let's go do it, you gotta go out there and prove it, so.

01:34:36 - Well, I got another thing that believes in the Jets.

01:34:40 Do you believe in ghosts?

01:34:41 Very important question.

01:34:43 - Ghosts.

01:34:44 - Yeah.

01:34:47 - That's a good one.

01:34:48 I'm gonna go with it, 'cause I, well, you can't even see

01:34:52 ghosts, you probably just can hear 'em, but I never heard

01:34:55 of seeing a ghost, I never, so I'm gonna say no,

01:34:58 I never experienced it in my 28 years of living.

01:35:00 - Okay, wrong answer.

01:35:02 Ghosts are real, and I, a friend of ours, a colleague

01:35:06 of ours bought a house in Chicago, and he has a ghost

01:35:09 in the house, and the ghost told me to bet the Jets

01:35:12 Super Bowl, so you should start believing in ghosts.

01:35:16 - So what type of ghost is this, what, he died

01:35:17 at the casino?

01:35:18 - No, he was a gambling ghost, yeah, we were talking

01:35:21 to him, he was hitting this beeper thing, and I said,

01:35:24 and we said Jets Super Bowl, and he hit it, and it's like,

01:35:27 it's a ghost, how can you not trust a ghost?

01:35:30 A ghost knows all.

01:35:31 - Oh, you talked to the ghost too, you talked to the ghost

01:35:33 too.

01:35:34 - Oh, I talked to the ghost directly, yes.

01:35:36 Yeah, oh yeah.

01:35:39 Telling ya.

01:35:40 - Do to me.

01:35:41 - Start believing in ghosts.

01:35:43 - I'm starting to see the trim, man, everything lead

01:35:45 right up to it, everybody's telling the Jets

01:35:47 in the Super Bowl, I'm starting to see the trim.

01:35:50 - Yeah, ghosts, even dead people.

01:35:52 - I believe in ghosts now.

01:35:53 - Yes, exactly, there you go, converted ghost belief.

01:35:56 - You believe in ghosts, you're a smart man, you can't

01:35:58 deny it, you can't deny that if a ghost is on your side,

01:36:00 you'll take all the support you can get, right?

01:36:02 - Yes.

01:36:03 - That's it, keep it coming.

01:36:05 - So you believe in ghosts, we believe in a former

01:36:09 teammate of yours, Jameis Winston, we feel like Jameis

01:36:13 is maybe the most entertaining quarterback to watch

01:36:16 in the NFL.

01:36:17 He's so fun, and you used to play with him, he's a big

01:36:21 rah-rah speech guy, we've all seen the eat the W thing.

01:36:24 What was it like playing with Jameis in college?

01:36:26 - It was cool, man, he was coming off his highs every year,

01:36:29 they had to win a national championship in '13,

01:36:32 I get there in '14, and it's cool, man, everything's great.

01:36:37 He had his hiccups, you know what I'm saying,

01:36:42 a couple situations he got into, but it was never

01:36:45 nothing more than that, I think he evolved over the years

01:36:49 as he got in the league with speeches and all that,

01:36:52 'cause he never did that with us.

01:36:53 He'd give us a speech, but it'd be like,

01:36:55 all right, let's go play.

01:36:56 It wasn't nothing out of the ordinary, but it was cool,

01:37:01 man, that's my guy, man, I don't know, he'd have his

01:37:04 moments, and it'd be like, hold up, what's happening

01:37:08 right now, and I don't know, it was cool, man, we went

01:37:12 to the playoffs, we had a great year, unfortunately,

01:37:15 we lost to Oregon that year in the playoffs,

01:37:17 but I don't know, man.

01:37:20 - What about the time, are you specifically talking

01:37:23 about the time, I think it was when you were there

01:37:27 when he was suspended for a half, and he came out

01:37:30 in full uniform, and Jimbo was like, dude--

01:37:33 - That was a crazy game.

01:37:34 - Yeah, Jimbo was like, dude, what do you think

01:37:36 suspended means, did you talk to him after, like,

01:37:39 man, that was screwed up, they didn't let you play,

01:37:41 that was one of my favorite Jameis clips,

01:37:42 he just wanted to play ball.

01:37:44 - Yeah, it was kind of weird, though, 'cause I kind of

01:37:46 felt where he was coming from, and Jimbo did tell me

01:37:50 he was suspended in front of the team, it was a situation

01:37:53 where he had to love the situation where he stood up

01:37:55 and said something.

01:37:56 - Fuck her in the pussy.

01:37:58 - Yeah, when he said that, and it kind of went viral,

01:38:03 and the NCAA called right, like, the day before the game,

01:38:06 and we was in a meeting, Jimbo told me he was suspended

01:38:09 or have, but I guess he thought he still could warm up,

01:38:14 that's when he came out with his clothes on,

01:38:18 I guess he thought he still could warm up,

01:38:19 I kind of felt where he came from, like, all right,

01:38:21 I'm gonna warm up, I'm gonna go take my clothes off.

01:38:22 - Right, right.

01:38:24 - Jimbo wasn't having it.

01:38:25 - No.

01:38:26 All time comment.

01:38:28 - He was fired up.

01:38:29 - Yeah.

01:38:30 - Now, that was funny, right?

01:38:31 - Yeah, so funny, he just looks confused,

01:38:34 and they're just talking in front of the tunnel.

01:38:38 So, I always wonder this, 'cause we're sports fans,

01:38:40 we see it, we obviously don't live it like you guys live it,

01:38:44 you, in your college process, you committed to Clemson,

01:38:47 then committed to Florida, then went to Florida State,

01:38:50 how much shit did random people on burner accounts

01:38:53 talk to you when you flipped commitments?

01:38:55 'Cause that's always, we always laugh about it

01:38:57 on this show, the fact that there's grown men

01:39:00 tweeting at 17-year-old kids and getting mad at them

01:39:04 because they decided they wanted to go

01:39:05 to a different college.

01:39:07 - Yeah, back then, I wasn't really big on social media,

01:39:10 but when I picked the Jets, it was worse.

01:39:14 - Oh, really?

01:39:15 - Like, it was crazy.

01:39:17 I was getting stuff, like, yeah, it was bad.

01:39:23 This goes to show, if you're really not mentally stable

01:39:28 and mentally ready for social media,

01:39:31 I think when you're making big decisions like that,

01:39:34 expecting to alter people's feelings,

01:39:36 I think you just might need to stay off of it

01:39:38 'cause there's been times I came close to replying

01:39:41 to some people, but it's like, all right, why waste my time?

01:39:44 Like, let's not even go there and get into this

01:39:48 back and forth, keyboard writing.

01:39:50 But it's just like, yeah, man, when I committed to Clemson,

01:39:55 'cause everything for me happened so fast,

01:39:57 it wasn't like a year and a half span,

01:39:58 and I committed to Clemson, then I decommitted

01:40:00 and then committed to Florida, and I just decided

01:40:05 to go to school early, and I just went to Florida State.

01:40:09 Like, I didn't even really do nothing else.

01:40:11 I didn't commit to Florida State, I just went to school.

01:40:14 And I didn't really get nothing too much from it

01:40:17 'cause I wasn't really on social media,

01:40:18 but when I made my decision to sign with the Jets,

01:40:21 I think it was worse.

01:40:24 - Which fan base was the worst to you

01:40:25 when you signed with the Jets?

01:40:26 - I think I pretty much got it from everywhere.

01:40:28 I think people were expecting me to sign back to Minnesota.

01:40:31 You know, obviously, they were expecting me to go home,

01:40:33 so I really got it from Miami fans the worst.

01:40:36 So I'm looking forward to going back home

01:40:38 and being in the building again.

01:40:40 - Yeah, yeah, you played out in Minnesota,

01:40:42 have had a great career out there so far.

01:40:45 Run behind CJ Hamm, one of our favorite fullbacks in the NFL.

01:40:48 CJ Hamm, he's a fucking beast.

01:40:51 That dude is a monster.

01:40:52 You gonna miss CJ?

01:40:53 - I'm gonna miss him, man.

01:40:54 I'm gonna miss that guy, man.

01:40:55 It's just how easy he made the game on me.

01:40:59 Like, people don't really know the communication

01:41:01 that we had, and it was nonverbal.

01:41:03 Like, it's just like, we just reacted to each other so well.

01:41:07 Like, it was just a great package,

01:41:09 I can say that for the years that we was there together, man.

01:41:13 And you see why they extended him again.

01:41:16 Like, it is what it is.

01:41:18 Like, see, they're gonna miss CJ, man.

01:41:20 I'm happy for him, man.

01:41:22 I just wish I could've took them with me.

01:41:23 Could've brought them over there with me.

01:41:25 - Well, Rodgers did that.

01:41:26 You could've, yeah.

01:41:28 Rodgers brought the whole Packers with him.

01:41:30 - We got a good one in the building, Nato, man.

01:41:32 We got a good one.

01:41:34 - This is a dumb question, dumb fan question,

01:41:37 and dumb theory that we had,

01:41:39 but did Alexander Madison grow out his dreads

01:41:42 just so that way when he came in in relief of you,

01:41:47 you'd be like, "Oh, is this still Dalvin Cook?"

01:41:49 - So, he was already growing his dreads

01:41:51 when he first got there, but like,

01:41:54 this is how funny this man is.

01:41:55 Like, I love him, man.

01:41:57 That's my little brother.

01:41:59 Like, man, it's crazy how much love I got for him.

01:42:03 And like, we used to do a lot of stuff together,

01:42:04 just like being around each other every day.

01:42:07 And he started to dress like me.

01:42:10 So like, and he was doing it on purpose.

01:42:13 Like, he'd do it on purpose.

01:42:14 Like, he'd do it on purpose.

01:42:15 Like, he'd come in my locker,

01:42:16 he'd see what I got on, he'd do it on purpose.

01:42:18 Like, he'd dress just like me.

01:42:20 And one time, we had like the,

01:42:22 they had put me in front of like,

01:42:24 it was training camp.

01:42:25 It was like two years ago.

01:42:26 They put me in,

01:42:27 I was sitting on the front of the cover of the magazine.

01:42:30 And I'm looking at the cover,

01:42:32 and I see it's not me.

01:42:34 And, but the picture,

01:42:36 it say Dalvin Cook, but it's him.

01:42:39 So, we went to the lady,

01:42:42 and we told her like, that's not me.

01:42:44 Like, that's Alex.

01:42:45 She felt so bad.

01:42:46 Like, I'm like, bro, why you doing that?

01:42:47 Why you doing this to the lady?

01:42:50 So, he used to do it on purpose.

01:42:51 Like, he did it on purpose.

01:42:53 It was funny, man.

01:42:54 - There'd be so many times.

01:42:55 - We did look just the same.

01:42:56 - Yeah, we did look just alike.

01:42:58 - We'd be watching games,

01:43:00 we'd be like, oh, Dalvin Cook scored.

01:43:01 And be like, wait, nope, that's not him.

01:43:03 Nevermind, that's Alexander Madison.

01:43:04 - Fantasy football owners must have hated him.

01:43:06 - Yeah.

01:43:07 - They get all excited.

01:43:08 They got another Dalvin Cook touchdown.

01:43:10 And then they're like, wait, wait a second.

01:43:12 - That's not him, shit.

01:43:14 That's funny that he did it on purpose.

01:43:17 I respect that.

01:43:18 That's true, true backup running back.

01:43:21 You know, just dress for the job you want.

01:43:23 - My grandma used to get us mixed up.

01:43:24 My grandma used to get us mixed up.

01:43:26 - My grandma used to be like, hold up, bro.

01:43:27 (laughing)

01:43:30 - What was it like in the locker room

01:43:33 last year in the game against the Colts,

01:43:34 the famous comeback game?

01:43:36 I think that was like the week before Christmas.

01:43:38 It was on a Saturday, if I remember,

01:43:40 against Jeff Saturday and the Colts.

01:43:43 And you guys are down big at halftime.

01:43:44 You scored the last touchdown in regulation.

01:43:46 Did you guys, was there a sense at halftime

01:43:48 that you can win the game?

01:43:49 Or was it just like, let's go out there,

01:43:51 try to not embarrass ourselves in the second half

01:43:54 and see what happens?

01:43:56 - Bro, I was probably like, the way I could describe it,

01:43:58 like that was probably like the most calmest comeback ever.

01:44:02 Like when we went into the locker room,

01:44:05 'cause like the energy when we came out for the game,

01:44:08 like it wasn't really there.

01:44:10 'Cause that was a game for us to clinch the division

01:44:12 and like to like just handle things,

01:44:14 to get it out of the way.

01:44:15 And like the energy wasn't there like for us

01:44:18 to like be in the mode of like clinching the division.

01:44:20 And like, we wanted to have time.

01:44:23 And like, everybody's like calm as shit.

01:44:25 Like we just like calm, like everybody was just chilling

01:44:28 until like Pat Peay, he kind of like stood up.

01:44:30 But we still had guys like, yeah, we can do it.

01:44:33 But like, nobody wasn't believing that shit.

01:44:35 Like it was like, all right, Pat Peay kind of stood up

01:44:38 and was like, yo, like, just calm down.

01:44:41 All we need is five touchdowns.

01:44:43 Like everybody looked like five touchdowns.

01:44:47 Like five touchdowns.

01:44:48 And showed up, we got out there and they started rolling out.

01:44:51 Them things started coming back and back and back.

01:44:53 And you know, everybody was just so calm.

01:44:56 And then you kind of felt, kind of felt that energy

01:44:59 just coming back into the building,

01:45:00 coming back in the building.

01:45:01 You kind of seen the stands filling back up.

01:45:04 And you just kind of seen everything just happening.

01:45:07 And to me, like I played in that Buffalo game,

01:45:10 but that was like, that was like real close

01:45:13 to that Buffalo game.

01:45:14 Like, but one of the craziest games

01:45:16 I ever played in my life.

01:45:17 - Yeah.

01:45:18 - Yeah.

01:45:19 - You guys played some wild ones last year.

01:45:20 All we need is five touchdowns.

01:45:21 When you put it that way, yeah.

01:45:23 We can do this.

01:45:23 - It's not that many.

01:45:26 - We need about one.

01:45:27 - That's it, yeah.

01:45:28 One hand, just one hand of touchdowns.

01:45:30 By the way, I forgot that one of our writers here

01:45:35 is a Dolphins fan, did write a blog right after

01:45:39 you signed with the Jets saying,

01:45:40 "Dalvin Cook going to the Jets

01:45:41 makes me want to drink bleach."

01:45:43 So yeah, you did get a lot of people getting upset.

01:45:46 So he, yeah, he didn't drink bleach,

01:45:48 but you made him want to.

01:45:49 Yeah, you made him want to drink bleach.

01:45:52 - Don't drink bleach, man.

01:45:54 Life is great.

01:45:56 - Yeah.

01:45:57 We know ball on this show.

01:45:58 You can probably tell we're very smart,

01:45:59 very intelligent football fans.

01:46:01 We know that it takes some time for a running back

01:46:05 to fit in pass protection,

01:46:07 especially if they're in a new system, new team.

01:46:10 Have you gotten started on that?

01:46:11 How long does it take you going to the Jets,

01:46:14 new offense coordinator, new system, new offensive line?

01:46:17 How long does it take for you to really feel comfortable

01:46:19 in pass protection?

01:46:20 - Oh, for me, I kind of always been like

01:46:23 on top of things like that.

01:46:24 You know, you get your little hiccups every now and then,

01:46:26 but like, this is a system that I ran before.

01:46:29 So like, I'm pretty familiar with what they got going on.

01:46:32 Like I ran this system, what, two years ago?

01:46:35 I ran it when I had Gary Kubiak.

01:46:38 So I'm pretty familiar with it.

01:46:40 It just kind of getting my brain fresh on the terminology

01:46:43 and everything they saying.

01:46:45 They kind of changed up a little lingo,

01:46:46 but the system is the system.

01:46:48 Like as far as know what they're trying to get done,

01:46:51 I pretty much know what they're trying to do.

01:46:53 So I'm pretty good with that,

01:46:55 but it's still going to take a lot of reps

01:46:58 to go out there and get this thing done.

01:47:00 No, 'cause I was here last week, but I had to fly back home.

01:47:04 So I'm going to really get a true week of practice

01:47:07 coming this week.

01:47:08 - Mm-hmm.

01:47:09 Another dumb question.

01:47:12 How cool is it being fast?

01:47:15 Are you like, do you ever find yourself catching,

01:47:16 like when you burn by someone

01:47:18 or you give someone a good juke, you're like,

01:47:20 this is awesome.

01:47:21 Like I just made you look so foolish.

01:47:23 - It's a bit sometimes when I don't court balls

01:47:25 in like tight spaces, like really like check downs,

01:47:28 to be honest.

01:47:29 And like, I get past some guys, I'm like, all right.

01:47:31 All right, I am, I am that fast.

01:47:34 Like you kind of catch yourself sometimes,

01:47:36 like when you get past guys, like,

01:47:38 and you see guys really like trying hard to get you,

01:47:40 but like, no, you really just in the mode

01:47:43 of just trying to get where you going.

01:47:44 And it's like, all right, yeah.

01:47:47 - Yeah, yeah.

01:47:48 I mean, that's gotta be a very cool feeling.

01:47:50 - Are you faster than your brother?

01:47:52 - See like, the thing about it, like,

01:47:54 we never raced, but like we run totally different.

01:47:58 Like he run with like the longest stride to me.

01:48:01 Like my steps are like shorter,

01:48:03 but they're like not choppy,

01:48:04 but like he run with a longer stride.

01:48:06 We had a, I don't really want to race.

01:48:08 I'll just give him the title to be honest.

01:48:09 Like, all right, you got it, bro.

01:48:11 But I never got caught on film, let me just say that.

01:48:14 - Okay. - Ooh.

01:48:15 - Never?

01:48:16 - We're home guys, we can find something.

01:48:19 - You catch me getting ran down on tape, boy.

01:48:22 Show me, I ain't got ran down on tape.

01:48:24 - How much would you pay us if we found it?

01:48:27 - A hundred a run down.

01:48:28 Wherever I get ran down is a hundred dollars.

01:48:30 - All right, all right, Jake.

01:48:32 Let's take a hundred bucks off.

01:48:33 Can you find that?

01:48:34 Can you look up the tape?

01:48:35 We're gonna find something on tape for you.

01:48:36 - We gotta find some tape.

01:48:38 There's gotta be someone.

01:48:39 By the way, here's another one.

01:48:41 Fuck you, the Jets, Florida State Seminoles,

01:48:44 boy, you got me 38 hot.

01:48:46 Called you a bitch ass.

01:48:47 (laughing)

01:48:49 - What is this you looking on?

01:48:53 Instagram, Twitter, what is this?

01:48:54 - Twitter, Twitter.

01:48:55 I just searched Dalvin Cook, fuck you, it's a lot.

01:48:58 - Twitter is wild.

01:48:59 Twitter is wild.

01:49:00 - There's a lot of people, man.

01:49:01 - Twitter is wild.

01:49:03 Twitter is one of them things where, like I said,

01:49:05 mentally, if you just like one of them people

01:49:07 that just react to stuff this quick,

01:49:09 like you gotta stay off Twitter.

01:49:10 - You know what it is?

01:49:11 You know what it is?

01:49:13 You liked some tweets this off season.

01:49:15 You got in a little trouble for liking tweets,

01:49:16 not the Diggs type of trouble,

01:49:19 but there was a video of some Miami Dolphins clip

01:49:24 where it was like, is Dalvin Cook gonna sign with the

01:49:27 Dolphins?

01:49:28 You liked it, and then everybody from Dolphins,

01:49:30 all their fans, they were like, oh shit,

01:49:32 he's coming here 'cause he liked that tweet.

01:49:34 Were you just messing with him?

01:49:36 - Nah, man, like I said, it came down to the end.

01:49:39 Like if I was gonna sign with the Jets,

01:49:41 to be honest, bro, I would've been signed with them.

01:49:42 It came down to me coming to take a visit,

01:49:46 me seeing what I needed to see,

01:49:48 like me being around different people,

01:49:49 and seeing what I could be like a piece

01:49:52 to come in and help the guys win.

01:49:54 Like it came down to the end.

01:49:55 Like Miami was right there in the race,

01:49:57 but it came down to some things,

01:49:59 but the Jets did some things better than Miami at the end,

01:50:02 and now I'm here.

01:50:03 - Do you like playing in the cold?

01:50:06 - Ooh, good question.

01:50:08 - Like it depends on how cold.

01:50:12 We played in Green Bay,

01:50:13 we done played in Green Bay at the end of the year,

01:50:16 probably the last three years I was in Minnesota.

01:50:19 And the last time we went to Green Bay,

01:50:20 it was zero degrees.

01:50:21 Like I hated every second of it,

01:50:24 but I don't think I'm gonna be in any game as cold as that.

01:50:27 Like as far as playing out here in New York,

01:50:30 I know it's gonna get cold,

01:50:31 but I don't got no problem with it.

01:50:33 Like ball is ball.

01:50:35 They gotta feel the same pad hitting situation

01:50:38 that I gotta feel.

01:50:39 They gotta feel that same thing I'm feeling.

01:50:41 So like ball is ball.

01:50:43 - I like that, ball is ball.

01:50:44 - Ball is ball.

01:50:45 - Respect.

01:50:45 - That is respect.

01:50:47 All right, so do you have a prediction for this year?

01:50:49 Yards?

01:50:50 Can you tell people why they should draft you in fantasy?

01:50:53 - I'm gonna be productive, I'm gonna be who I am.

01:50:54 I'm just telling you,

01:50:55 Davin Cook is Davin Cook.

01:50:56 So like, you know what I'm saying?

01:50:58 Like if you take it for that, just take it for that.

01:51:02 Like it's all I need to say.

01:51:03 Like I don't need to say too much.

01:51:04 Like Davin is, I'm me.

01:51:06 Like I'm back in 33, so we good.

01:51:10 - Okay.

01:51:11 - It is what it is.

01:51:12 - Are there certain numbers that you feel faster in

01:51:14 than other numbers?

01:51:15 Like what if they made you wear like 45 for a year?

01:51:18 - I wouldn't wear it.

01:51:19 I wouldn't wear it.

01:51:20 - You'd quit.

01:51:21 Yeah, the new numbers are crazy.

01:51:23 You know, that's not a fast number.

01:51:24 What are the fastest numbers?

01:51:26 - This is what I'm saying.

01:51:27 Like if you don't go, like if I ain't go like a single digit

01:51:30 like I wasn't, I'm going back to 33 regardless.

01:51:32 Like that was the most productive.

01:51:35 Like you know what I'm saying?

01:51:36 Like 33, like that's what it is.

01:51:38 That's how I came out.

01:51:40 I came out swinging 33.

01:51:42 But like, other than that, I wasn't going no,

01:51:46 nah, them numbers don't even make you look good.

01:51:48 You don't even look good in numbers like that.

01:51:49 - Yeah, so if you weren't 33,

01:51:51 what would be the fastest numbers that we would say?

01:51:54 I would say like a one, one looks pretty fast.

01:51:57 Seven looks fast.

01:51:59 21, 21 is really fast.

01:52:01 - 21 is fast.

01:52:02 I like 21.

01:52:04 22 is kind of a good number too, but like,

01:52:08 I feel like 22 is one of those numbers where like,

01:52:13 you fast and it's just like, all right,

01:52:16 I can run this thing too.

01:52:17 Like 22, one of them numbers, like in the middle of like,

01:52:19 yeah, I'm that guy, like type numbers.

01:52:22 Like I like 22 to be honest.

01:52:24 - Yes.

01:52:25 - Deuce, deuce.

01:52:26 - I had one last question for you.

01:52:27 It's a Roback question.

01:52:28 R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com.

01:52:30 Promo code TAKE.

01:52:31 20% off your first purchase.

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01:52:36 Roback.com, promo code TAKE.

01:52:38 This has been awesome, Dalvin.

01:52:39 We appreciate your time.

01:52:40 I found another one.

01:52:41 It was Dalvin Cook, you fuckhead on Twitter.

01:52:45 And that was from me, December 6th, 2020.

01:52:51 And I went to look it up.

01:52:53 Do you remember this game?

01:52:54 I, pretty much anytime I swear at an athlete,

01:52:57 it's gambling related.

01:52:59 It was the Jaguars Vikings game where I think you guys were

01:53:02 like nine point favorites and you had first and goal

01:53:04 at the two minute warning and you just didn't score.

01:53:07 And you won by three.

01:53:09 Do you remember that?

01:53:10 'Cause you were a fuckhead for that.

01:53:11 - Oh yeah.

01:53:12 They told me don't score.

01:53:14 - Yeah, well, come on.

01:53:15 We got people who need that.

01:53:17 - That was a situational moment.

01:53:19 (laughing)

01:53:21 Hey, hey, hey, think about it.

01:53:23 I feel you.

01:53:24 I feel you.

01:53:24 Like, I understand when things are on the line

01:53:29 and big things at stake, I feel you.

01:53:32 Get your emotions out.

01:53:33 I'm not a person that take emotions.

01:53:36 I take them how they come.

01:53:38 That's just what it is.

01:53:39 But, hey, I'm a fuckhead, I'm a fuckhead.

01:53:42 - You were a fuckhead that day.

01:53:43 In that moment, you were a fuckhead.

01:53:44 I know that your coach probably told you to do it,

01:53:46 but I stand by the tweet.

01:53:48 But yeah, Twitter is wild.

01:53:49 So I can't really criticize anyone when I'm tweeting

01:53:52 Dalvin Cook, you fuckhead in the middle of the day.

01:53:54 - Maybe we can think twice and we can just call

01:53:56 the coach a fuckhead.

01:53:57 - Yeah.

01:53:58 Yeah.

01:53:59 - I'm finna say, I gotta talk to them too.

01:54:01 - Yeah, you would probably think to yourself like,

01:54:03 that's a touchdown you could have.

01:54:04 You're like, Kevin O'Connor, you fuckhead.

01:54:06 - Yeah.

01:54:07 Yeah.

01:54:08 Come on.

01:54:09 You needed that.

01:54:10 We need those scores.

01:54:11 - It is very crazy.

01:54:12 - Oh man.

01:54:14 Well, thank you so much, man.

01:54:15 Best of luck.

01:54:16 Believe in ghosts.

01:54:18 The ghost told me.

01:54:20 I'm telling you.

01:54:22 Now I feel like you're not believing in ghosts again.

01:54:24 - Nah, I don't, to be honest, I don't wanna hear no ghosts.

01:54:27 I don't wanna see no ghosts.

01:54:29 Wherever I'm at, I would never be there again.

01:54:31 If I ever did, if I ever heard or saw it,

01:54:33 I would get missing.

01:54:35 I would be gone.

01:54:36 But like, you know, hey, I tip my hat to y'all

01:54:39 for talking to the ghost.

01:54:40 Whenever you see him again, talk to him,

01:54:42 I say, what's up, and we appreciate it.

01:54:44 - All right, well, if you guys win the Super Bowl this year,

01:54:46 will you come visit and we'll go talk to the ghost?

01:54:50 And be like, yo, thanks for believing in us?

01:54:52 - If you could set it up like this between me and him,

01:54:54 like right here, like I'll be down here.

01:54:55 - I can do that.

01:54:56 Yep. - You can do it.

01:54:57 - Okay, we'll do that.

01:54:58 All right, if you win the Super Bowl this year,

01:54:59 you will set up a Zoom with the ghost.

01:55:02 - Set up a Zoom with that ghost.

01:55:03 (laughing)

01:55:04 - Okay, perfect, perfect.

01:55:06 Well, Dalvin, best of luck this year, man.

01:55:08 Thanks so much for joining us.

01:55:09 - Appreciate y'all, fellas.

01:55:11 - That interview with Dalvin Cook

01:55:12 was brought to you by Verizon.

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01:56:36 And now time for Jimbo's.

01:56:37 Okay, we're bringing back Jimbo's.

01:56:43 It's the time to bring back Jimbo's

01:56:44 and we have a special sponsor for Jimbo's,

01:56:47 who we got PFT.

01:56:48 Oh yeah, today's Jimbo's are brought to you

01:56:49 by the one and only Snickers.

01:56:52 That's right, the most satisfying solution

01:56:54 for all those rookie mistake moments.

01:56:57 Packed with chocolate, caramel, peanuts and nougat,

01:57:00 Snickers is the go-to play when life

01:57:02 through its blitz is your way.

01:57:04 Rookie mistake, maybe you just need Snickers.

01:57:07 Learn more at snickers.com/NFL.

01:57:10 We were talking right before we started taping,

01:57:13 Snickers ice cream bars are my one, one

01:57:16 quick ice cream bar to pick up.

01:57:18 They're so good.

01:57:19 I ate one tonight.

01:57:21 I also buy them for my kids and I cut them up

01:57:24 and give them to, it's the best.

01:57:25 Now those are the best.

01:57:26 They are so, so good.

01:57:28 You know what else is great?

01:57:29 If you take a regular Snickers bar

01:57:31 and you put that in the freezer.

01:57:32 Yeah.

01:57:33 I know it's not the same as ice cream,

01:57:34 but it's still elite.

01:57:35 Still elite.

01:57:36 I'm probably gonna hit another Snickers ice cream

01:57:37 on the way out.

01:57:38 Yeah, a match.

01:57:39 What was the, what did Jim Tomsula originally do

01:57:43 for it to be called Jimbo?

01:57:45 He called it, he said that sometimes like

01:57:47 when you got a run but you pass instead,

01:57:49 he's like, we call that a Jimbo.

01:57:51 Like he actually phrased Jimbo's for his own mistake.

01:57:55 I'm gonna look it up, see if I can get the clip.

01:57:57 To take accountability.

01:57:59 It would be like, yep, that one was a Jimbo.

01:58:00 That challenge, I shouldn't challenge that,

01:58:02 that's a Jimbo.

01:58:03 Yeah, he literally was like, yeah, he named himself,

01:58:07 he named his own mistakes as Jimbo's.

01:58:09 Love that.

01:58:10 He's like, yeah, I screwed up there.

01:58:11 That's a Jimbo.

01:58:12 I can't believe we haven't had Tomsula

01:58:14 on part of my take yet.

01:58:15 I know, I don't think,

01:58:16 I feel like he would maybe not like us.

01:58:18 I don't know.

01:58:19 I think he likes us.

01:58:20 I think he's a Jeans fan.

01:58:21 Yeah, wait, let's see.

01:58:23 I'm looking it up.

01:58:25 Okay, that, I just found a tweet.

01:58:27 That's a Jimbo.

01:58:28 That's Tomsula's phrase when he was the root of the problem.

01:58:31 Like when 49ers tried to come out passing versus the Browns.

01:58:34 That's a Jimbo.

01:58:35 So if he's the root of the problem, he's like Jimbo.

01:58:37 Love that.

01:58:38 That's accountability.

01:58:39 With that being said, I brought my girl bowling,

01:58:42 think it'd be a fun, relaxing time,

01:58:44 and she beat me all six games.

01:58:46 Oh no.

01:58:47 And I didn't post a score over 100.

01:58:49 Oh.

01:58:50 Top three most embarrassing hour I had to deal with.

01:58:53 Is this, was this you writing about me and you?

01:58:56 No.

01:58:57 Bowling?

01:58:57 What'd I beat you?

01:58:58 157 to 85?

01:59:00 That was one game.

01:59:02 Right, but you got 85.

01:59:04 I beat you during the bowling stream.

01:59:05 Okay, but we played like 75 games.

01:59:08 Of course you're gonna win once.

01:59:09 Yeah, this is, listen.

01:59:11 Six games, one game happens.

01:59:14 One game happens.

01:59:15 You can't go 0 for 6 trying to break 100.

01:59:17 Yeah, that's the thing.

01:59:17 It's not about your girlfriend beating you.

01:59:19 That, she's probably a good bowler.

01:59:21 What are you gonna do?

01:59:22 Not being able to break 100 as a man six straight times.

01:59:27 That's brutal.

01:59:28 Yeah, it is tough.

01:59:29 You would think that you would find a groove

01:59:30 around game number three or four.

01:59:32 Or put up the bumpers.

01:59:33 Yeah, or just like not even aim,

01:59:35 be like I'm not gonna even try to get a strike.

01:59:37 Let's just hit some of the pins.

01:59:38 We gotta get, we gotta start a bowling league.

01:59:40 Bowling is--

01:59:41 We should be in a bowling league.

01:59:42 Bowling's fun, but one major problem I have with bowling now

01:59:46 is I used to love it 'cause you could smoke cigarettes

01:59:48 inside.

01:59:49 Yeah.

01:59:49 And it seems like that is even going away,

01:59:51 which is tough.

01:59:52 Like, there's certain places that should allow cigs inside

01:59:54 because my policy for myself is I'm allowed

01:59:57 to smoke cigarettes indoors if I'm,

02:00:00 or I'm allowed to smoke cigarettes if it's indoors

02:00:02 or if I'm out of the country.

02:00:03 Right.

02:00:04 And now it's like I'm running out of opportunities to do so.

02:00:06 So I just, I miss going home after a night

02:00:10 at the bowling alley and all your clothes

02:00:12 and your hair smell like cigarettes.

02:00:13 Jake, make a reminder, after football season ends,

02:00:17 I think we should, maybe we don't even do a bowling league,

02:00:20 but let's just, the fellas, pick a random Monday

02:00:24 when we're really missing football the most

02:00:26 and let's go bowling on a Monday night.

02:00:28 Like April after March?

02:00:29 No, no, no, no, no, no.

02:00:30 March?

02:00:31 February, I'm saying.

02:00:32 Oh, right after.

02:00:32 Winter, yeah, yeah, the winter.

02:00:33 Eat hot dogs while we do it?

02:00:34 Yeah, we should.

02:00:35 We should stream it and we should make it a competition.

02:00:39 No, but let's just go as fun.

02:00:40 Let's have fun, you know, bowl with the boys.

02:00:44 It'd be great if we could find a bowling league

02:00:47 where people just let us win.

02:00:49 How do we do that?

02:00:50 How do we find what's right?

02:00:51 What?

02:00:52 Oh.

02:00:53 Any time we win?

02:00:55 I think--

02:00:55 Any time, any place, anywhere, Frank.

02:00:57 You gotta have more self-awareness if you're this guy.

02:00:59 You gotta know what your limitations are.

02:01:01 And if you're a stinky bowler,

02:01:03 maybe just don't go on a bowling date.

02:01:04 Also, you should just start like mini golf,

02:01:09 one-on-one basketball.

02:01:10 You gotta find one that you can win at.

02:01:12 Hit the hard gate.

02:01:13 Oklahoma Drill.

02:01:14 Hit the arcade.

02:01:14 Yeah, hit the arcade, yeah, Oklahoma Drill.

02:01:17 Feats of strength, bench press competition.

02:01:19 Arm wrestling.

02:01:20 Actually, I feel like from the little we know

02:01:22 about this guy, his girlfriend could beat him

02:01:23 in a bench press competition.

02:01:24 Probably.

02:01:25 Okay.

02:01:26 I was waiting to tee off on the 16th hole Sunday.

02:01:29 Was over-served and needed to reach for a cooling towel

02:01:32 while I was sitting in the cart.

02:01:34 Well, I slipped and landed on the floor of the cart,

02:01:37 causing the accelerator to go off.

02:01:39 The cart started rolling down the hill

02:01:41 while I was literally, completely horizontally

02:01:43 sticking out of it.

02:01:45 Tried to slow the cart down by dragging my hands

02:01:46 on the ground.

02:01:47 Now my right hand and left elbow are scabbed and bruised.

02:01:51 Golf club is torn up.

02:01:52 The cart didn't go too far as it just went over the curb

02:01:55 near the fairway.

02:01:56 That's such a great plan that he had though.

02:01:57 He was gonna stop the golf cart by grabbing grass.

02:02:00 I also feel like golf carts are one of the,

02:02:02 like if this was a real car, yeah, it's a different story

02:02:05 'cause you don't wanna have damage.

02:02:07 Golf carts, I have to imagine, if we talk to a caddy

02:02:09 or like a ground screw person, they've seen everything.

02:02:12 Oh yeah.

02:02:13 They've seen every golf cart accident,

02:02:15 like broken, everything, like just let it go.

02:02:17 Jake almost died in a golf cart.

02:02:19 Yeah, that's true.

02:02:20 Yeah.

02:02:21 Remember that?

02:02:22 It was at a charity golf tournament

02:02:23 when I was in seventh grade.

02:02:24 I drove off the bridge, fell over me,

02:02:27 and I was stuck under water for like 30 seconds.

02:02:29 I thought there wasn't a way out.

02:02:31 That's chapaquitic.

02:02:33 But I made it out.

02:02:34 Who rescued you?

02:02:35 So the person sitting next to you didn't make it out?

02:02:38 No, he did.

02:02:39 He was able to jump onto the bridge while the--

02:02:41 So he made it out.

02:02:42 And then did he go get help for you?

02:02:44 Yeah.

02:02:44 Yeah, yeah.

02:02:45 Okay, got it.

02:02:46 Little rattled, but.

02:02:48 I thought it was a--

02:02:49 What a hilarious way for Jake to die.

02:02:50 Was it a Hall of Fame MLB's charity tournament?

02:02:53 No.

02:02:54 Were you very embarrassed?

02:02:56 I was just, I was 13 years old.

02:02:58 I was like, what's going on?

02:02:59 Yeah.

02:03:00 Were you scared to drive after that?

02:03:02 I was 13.

02:03:02 Oh, drive carts?

02:03:03 Yeah.

02:03:04 Yeah, drive, like when you got your license,

02:03:05 where you're like.

02:03:06 Uh-oh, here we go again.

02:03:07 Do you hate going over water?

02:03:09 Yeah.

02:03:10 Did you finish the round?

02:03:11 No.

02:03:12 So you went home?

02:03:13 No, I just hung around.

02:03:15 You hung around wet?

02:03:16 I got to change clothes, I think.

02:03:19 Okay.

02:03:19 And you didn't finish the round?

02:03:20 No.

02:03:21 Why?

02:03:22 Because I was, my clubs were gone.

02:03:25 They were underneath a lake.

02:03:26 Oh yeah, I forgot about the clubs.

02:03:28 Okay.

02:03:31 We need to conquer this bridge, Jake.

02:03:32 We need to go back.

02:03:33 I'm on it.

02:03:34 And have you drive a golf cart.

02:03:35 We need to have you drive off the bridge again.

02:03:37 Yeah.

02:03:37 Oh, no, no, no.

02:03:38 Yes, yes, yes, recreate the whole thing.

02:03:40 You're never gonna heal if you don't do this.

02:03:42 Yeah.

02:03:42 Yeah, take the power back.

02:03:44 All right, last one.

02:03:45 Last week I ordered a gaming desktop on a massive discount,

02:03:50 a $3,500 desktop for $1,100 from Amazon.

02:03:55 Imagine my surprise when what I thought

02:03:57 would be a gateway into escapism

02:03:59 and tomfoolery turned out to be one foam shoe and a bag.

02:04:02 Oh, you got caught.

02:04:04 Oh, that's bad.

02:04:05 So it was a fake store?

02:04:06 Yeah.

02:04:07 Yeah, I mean, that's a pretty steep discount.

02:04:10 Damn.

02:04:11 I thought it was gonna be like half

02:04:12 of the gaming console or something.

02:04:14 Yeah, I thought it was gonna be like the computer,

02:04:17 but not built.

02:04:18 Are you allowed to do that?

02:04:19 And then the people that build computers.

02:04:21 It sounds like the easiest scam ever.

02:04:22 You just set up an Amazon store

02:04:24 and then you just don't send people the stuff

02:04:25 and you get their money.

02:04:26 Yeah.

02:04:28 When I was a kid, my dad did that to me.

02:04:29 He got me PlayStation, the original PlayStation

02:04:32 for my birthday, and he gave me the holder

02:04:34 and was like, "You want a PlayStation, right?"

02:04:38 And he went with it for like 15 minutes.

02:04:40 And I was like, "This is the holder.

02:04:42 This isn't the PlayStation."

02:04:43 He's like, "This is what you wanted."

02:04:44 I didn't understand what you wanted.

02:04:46 I got you a PlayStation.

02:04:47 Fuck me up pretty bad, yeah.

02:04:48 Yeah, and he's like, "Oh, you wanted this."

02:04:50 And then he showed me the PlayStation.

02:04:51 That's a pretty good trick.

02:04:52 Yeah.

02:04:53 For the younger, what is a holder for a PlayStation?

02:04:55 It was like the thing that, I don't know,

02:04:58 it was like the plastic holder that you put on the,

02:05:00 'cause the PlayStation, I don't know,

02:05:03 you just fucking, it was a holder.

02:05:05 Do you know what that is?

02:05:07 God damn it, did I date myself?

02:05:08 It would have been cool if he got you

02:05:10 like a jungle gym, like a slide set.

02:05:12 He's like, "This is a PlayStation."

02:05:13 PlayStation holder.

02:05:14 It's a station for play.

02:05:15 Fuck.

02:05:16 It like held it upright.

02:05:18 Is it a gray PlayStation?

02:05:20 Yeah, it was a gray PlayStation.

02:05:21 You couldn't have just put it on the ground?

02:05:22 It might have been a PlayStation 2.

02:05:24 Now, Hank, what does that mean?

02:05:26 PlayStation 2s are black.

02:05:27 PlayStation 1s were gray.

02:05:28 I think it was gray.

02:05:30 It was, I think it was the, yeah, no, it was this.

02:05:33 Okay, I think it was, when did PlayStation 2 come out?

02:05:36 Like 2007?

02:05:39 Okay, so it was PlayStation 1.

02:05:40 But it looked exactly like this.

02:05:42 It looked exactly like this, Max.

02:05:45 See this?

02:05:45 Okay.

02:05:46 Like it just, you just held it up.

02:05:48 It held up.

02:05:49 You couldn't just put it on the ground?

02:05:51 2000.

02:05:52 2000 was PlayStation 2?

02:05:54 Yeah.

02:05:55 It must have been PlayStation 1.

02:05:55 (laughing)

02:05:56 Oh no.

02:05:57 Fuck.

02:06:00 All right.

02:06:00 I was in high school in 2007.

02:06:02 Fuck.

02:06:03 Yeah, it looked like this.

02:06:05 It was kind of cool.

02:06:06 All right, fine, I dated myself.

02:06:08 What the fuck am I gonna do?

02:06:09 I'm old, guys.

02:06:10 Hey, newsflash.

02:06:12 Yo, like is it--

02:06:13 I'm fucking old.

02:06:13 Is it embarrassing to admit that my first gaming system

02:06:16 was a Super Nintendo?

02:06:17 'Cause it was.

02:06:18 Yeah.

02:06:18 That's not that, it's just time.

02:06:20 N64 was the best.

02:06:21 I had an N64.

02:06:22 What was your first one, Hank?

02:06:24 I was not allowed to have video games in my house

02:06:27 'til I was like way older.

02:06:28 My brother got an Xbox in college.

02:06:30 That was the one in my house.

02:06:32 Me and my friends would play PlayStation 1 and 2 and N64.

02:06:38 I wasn't allowed to have it either for the longest time.

02:06:41 And one birthday, I got to rent from Blockbuster a Sega.

02:06:45 Yeah, those were always--

02:06:46 For the weekend.

02:06:47 Those were the best birthday parties.

02:06:48 But that was my, I was like,

02:06:50 I just wanna have a system for a weekend.

02:06:53 Yeah, I was like--

02:06:53 And I played the entire, I actually remember I brought it

02:06:56 to someone else's house, not like a friend's house.

02:07:01 Like we had to go somewhere for something

02:07:02 and I was like, I'm bringing this.

02:07:04 I'm not wasting any time.

02:07:05 Yeah, it's smart.

02:07:06 It's smart.

02:07:06 Honestly, genius by my parents

02:07:07 'cause I just lived at my neighbor's house.

02:07:09 Yeah.

02:07:09 Like I was never home.

02:07:10 Yeah, that is the ultimate.

02:07:12 I was always like a generation and a half

02:07:14 behind all my friends.

02:07:15 So I would play all the games at their house

02:07:18 and then like two years later, I would get that system.

02:07:20 Yes.

02:07:21 I would get the same games.

02:07:22 I'd be like, you guys wanna come over and play Goldeneye?

02:07:24 And they're like, dude, we beat Goldeneye two years ago.

02:07:27 Also genius move, one of my friends got N64

02:07:30 and his parents wouldn't let us play during the week.

02:07:33 And he would hide, they would hide the cord,

02:07:37 like the power cord.

02:07:38 So the system would be sitting there

02:07:40 and it'd be like, all we wanna do is play it

02:07:41 but we can't plug it in.

02:07:42 So we'd just spend the entire week looking for it.

02:07:45 And then we realized like after like three years

02:07:47 that his dad just put it in his trunk every Monday.

02:07:49 Just made sure it to work.

02:07:51 Yeah.

02:07:52 And we're just like, motherfucker.

02:07:52 We just spent all this time looking for a power cord.

02:07:54 We thought it was around the house.

02:07:55 Yeah.

02:07:56 So yeah.

02:07:57 Okay, we dated ourselves.

02:07:58 What are we gonna do?

02:07:59 I mean, going to Blockbuster like on a Friday night

02:08:02 and going to games was like the greatest thing in the world.

02:08:03 Yeah.

02:08:04 There was something about renting a movie too

02:08:05 from Blockbuster.

02:08:06 You go in there, you get the Blockbuster smell.

02:08:08 You know, I think they all kind of smell the same.

02:08:10 And then you as a group pick out,

02:08:12 okay, we're gonna rent this movie, take it home.

02:08:14 And it's a big thing.

02:08:15 Yeah.

02:08:16 It's an event.

02:08:17 Now, I think it's so easy to buy movies and shit

02:08:19 that you rent them on your couch

02:08:20 and then you just don't pay attention to the movie.

02:08:22 There was nothing worse than going to the Blockbuster

02:08:24 on a Friday night and seeing the movie you wanted

02:08:27 and having it not be there.

02:08:28 Yeah.

02:08:29 And having it be no VHS behind,

02:08:31 how now we're from.

02:08:32 Do you remember when--

02:08:32 VHS, God damn it.

02:08:34 You remember when Jurassic Park came out,

02:08:35 how many copies they had at Blockbuster?

02:08:37 It was like an entire wall of Jurassic Park.

02:08:40 Whatever, yeah, we're old, sorry.

02:08:42 I just said, I was just saying,

02:08:43 I was doing a fantasy draft.

02:08:45 It was my college friends, 18 years.

02:08:47 Yeah.

02:08:48 That one hurt, seeing that.

02:08:50 But yeah, okay, we're old, whatever.

02:08:51 We're still young at heart.

02:08:54 And football's back.

02:08:54 We get our youth back every football season.

02:08:58 Yeah.

02:08:59 Yeah.

02:09:00 Okay, numbers.

02:09:02 Three.

02:09:03 And then we're going to the--

02:09:04 One.

02:09:04 Bonus pancake draft.

02:09:06 69.

02:09:09 Memes, you ever gotten this?

02:09:11 20.

02:09:12 Nope.

02:09:14 82.

02:09:18 68.

02:09:20 Oh, damn.

02:09:23 Okay.

02:09:24 Love you guys.

02:09:25 (dramatic music)

02:09:33 Okay, it's time for part of my take fantasy.

02:09:36 We are reinventing the fantasy world.

02:09:39 We started with Dingers only,

02:09:41 and now football season,

02:09:43 because Dingers only was because

02:09:45 we wanted to learn more about baseball.

02:09:47 We obviously love football.

02:09:48 We watch football nonstop.

02:09:50 And we thought, what's the way to have a fantasy league

02:09:53 for football that teaches us something

02:09:56 maybe we aren't paying attention to?

02:09:58 It's the Pancakes Only League.

02:09:59 Well, really, it's just something awesome to root for,

02:10:01 like Dingers.

02:10:02 Rooting for Pancakes kicks ass.

02:10:03 Yes, so it's five offensive linemen per team.

02:10:08 Pancakes only.

02:10:09 Someone's going to have to chart these.

02:10:13 Jake.

02:10:14 I got it, yeah, I set it up.

02:10:15 Jake's got it.

02:10:16 EFT set up the list.

02:10:17 Ad drops, one.

02:10:19 Let's get it clear right now.

02:10:20 Injury ad drops?

02:10:22 Yeah.

02:10:23 Are you allowed to do one ad drop?

02:10:24 Yeah, I think you can do multiple ad drops, I think.

02:10:26 Oh, okay, just for injuries, though?

02:10:28 Yeah.

02:10:29 Okay, just for, what about pedophile?

02:10:32 I agree, I do this for Dingers only,

02:10:34 so we should just get it clear.

02:10:35 So if there's a pedophile on your team,

02:10:37 you're allowed to drop him,

02:10:38 but you also have to disavow all of his pancakes.

02:10:40 Okay, okay, that's fair.

02:10:41 And it's also only season-ending injuries, correct?

02:10:43 Season-ending injuries, yes, I like that.

02:10:45 Or season-ending pedophilia.

02:10:46 Yes, or season-ending pedophilia.

02:10:47 Okay, so you can't--

02:10:48 If you're a pedophile,

02:10:50 but you're only suspended for two weeks,

02:10:51 like the Ray Rice situation,

02:10:53 where it was like, how come he's only getting two weeks?

02:10:54 Right.

02:10:55 Then I think he has to stay on your roster.

02:10:56 You have to ride out those pancakes.

02:10:57 Yes, yes.

02:10:58 All right, so only ad drops for season-ending injury,

02:11:01 no ad drops for a guy not performing.

02:11:05 Yes.

02:11:06 And then we are going to do the loser,

02:11:10 is it the 24, are we doing 24 pancakes in 24 hours?

02:11:14 Yeah.

02:11:15 So you have to be in a diner,

02:11:18 and every pancake you eat is an hour off.

02:11:20 And then we're also gonna have the,

02:11:22 what would be the fifth place person

02:11:24 will have to eat 12 pancakes,

02:11:28 and the fourth place person will have to eat six pancakes.

02:11:31 They'll have to sit with you for a little bit.

02:11:33 Everyone like that?

02:11:34 Yeah.

02:11:34 That's pretty good, and we'll live stream it.

02:11:35 I love pancakes.

02:11:36 Yeah.

02:11:37 It'll be great, yeah.

02:11:38 Yeah, finishing fourth is actually a treat.

02:11:40 Yeah, that's the goal.

02:11:41 Yeah, that is first.

02:11:43 Finishing fourth is great.

02:11:44 You get to sit with your boys and eat six pancakes.

02:11:46 If you finish it first,

02:11:47 are you allowed to sit and eat pancakes?

02:11:48 Yeah, you can.

02:11:49 Okay, all right, cool.

02:11:50 No, no, we'll probably all hang out,

02:11:52 and yeah, it'll be fun.

02:11:54 It's really just fifth and sixth place,

02:11:55 that's the bad one.

02:11:56 Yeah, fifth and sixth suck.

02:11:57 And fifth is, 12 is not that bad.

02:12:00 Should we make it 18 and 12?

02:12:02 Fifth and fourth?

02:12:03 No, 24, 18, 12.

02:12:05 24, 18, 12.

02:12:07 Yeah, yeah.

02:12:07 All right, let's do that.

02:12:09 Okay, 24, 18, 12, six, three.

02:12:14 First person doesn't have to eat any pancakes.

02:12:16 Unlimited.

02:12:17 Yeah, they can just eat whatever they want.

02:12:19 Okay, that's good.

02:12:20 So if you finish second, you have to eat three pancakes,

02:12:22 which is, that's the true win now.

02:12:23 That's pretty good.

02:12:24 'Cause that's a perfect amount of pancakes.

02:12:27 Okay, this is gonna be fun.

02:12:28 Pancakes only week.

02:12:30 How are we gonna do draft order?

02:12:34 We've really gotten this set up.

02:12:35 I think we gotta do a random number generator.

02:12:37 Yeah.

02:12:38 Or we can do a hack game.

02:12:39 Okay.

02:12:40 Or like the current standings of Dingers only.

02:12:42 Oh, okay.

02:12:42 No, shut up, Max.

02:12:43 Or reverse current standings of Dingers.

02:12:44 Yeah, that's a good idea.

02:12:45 I like that.

02:12:46 That's fair.

02:12:47 All right, well, let's do odds or evens.

02:12:48 Until we get, this is really good podcasting.

02:12:50 Subscribe to the YouTube.

02:12:53 Ready?

02:12:53 Wait, this is, how are we gonna do it?

02:12:55 Okay, here's what we're gonna do.

02:12:56 Here's what we're gonna do.

02:12:57 Just do the--

02:12:58 Random number generator.

02:12:59 The random number generator.

02:13:00 Okay.

02:13:00 And then we're going to do, whoever gets it,

02:13:03 whoever gets closest goes first,

02:13:05 and then we'll go clockwise after that person.

02:13:07 Does that make sense?

02:13:08 Okay, fair.

02:13:09 Okay, so we got six people.

02:13:10 Min, Max is six.

02:13:13 And so we'll just start, I'll be one, Hank, you're two.

02:13:17 Big Cat, three.

02:13:18 Memes, four.

02:13:19 Max, five.

02:13:20 Jake is six.

02:13:21 Oh, I like this.

02:13:22 This is very ordered.

02:13:23 So Hank, you can see this.

02:13:23 I'm three.

02:13:24 Two.

02:13:26 Fuck.

02:13:27 Hank goes first.

02:13:28 And then me?

02:13:29 Hank's a big cat.

02:13:30 And then us.

02:13:31 Okay.

02:13:31 Snake Draft.

02:13:32 Whew, okay.

02:13:33 Damn it.

02:13:34 Snake Draft.

02:13:35 All right, one, one.

02:13:36 This is an obvious one based off of the spreadsheet we have.

02:13:38 He had nine more pancakes than the person in second place.

02:13:42 It's Trent Williams.

02:13:43 Okay, good pick.

02:13:44 I wanted him bad.

02:13:45 Yeah, he's first off here.

02:13:47 I was hoping that Hank was gonna pick row labels

02:13:50 for his first overall pick.

02:13:51 'Cause on the spreadsheet,

02:13:52 it looks like that's the first guy's name.

02:13:55 Excel guys.

02:13:55 Yeah.

02:13:56 Row labels first overall.

02:13:58 Tell me how.

02:13:59 Thank you to Sam Schwartzstein, by the way,

02:14:01 for putting together the spreadsheet for us.

02:14:02 Sam is a friend of the program

02:14:04 and you will see him on the Thursday night simulcast

02:14:08 this year on Amazon.

02:14:09 Yeah, what is the technical classification

02:14:11 of a pancake block?

02:14:12 When you take another man's soul.

02:14:13 You put him to the ground.

02:14:14 You drive over him.

02:14:15 Is it actually trackable?

02:14:17 Pro Football Focus apparently tracks it.

02:14:19 I couldn't find it online.

02:14:21 But if an AWL has it, please let us know.

02:14:24 So I have a problem.

02:14:25 I can't, I paid Evan $100 for his spreadsheet

02:14:30 and I don't understand his rankings.

02:14:33 (laughing)

02:14:35 I'm sure there's a lot of eagles on there.

02:14:36 Shane and Evan were supposed to be in this league

02:14:38 so Evan did a lot of research and he came in here

02:14:40 and he's like, "Oh, I did all the research."

02:14:41 So I gave him a $100 bill.

02:14:42 I was like, "Send it to me."

02:14:44 I don't know what, I don't know.

02:14:47 Yeah, this is a problem.

02:14:48 You can get past.

02:14:49 This is like the Vikings at the draft.

02:14:51 He has guys under, he's ranked guys

02:14:53 and then some say beast and some say good

02:14:56 but sometimes the beast is not the first name listed.

02:14:59 Pug.

02:15:02 It sounds like he's just drafting a pug.

02:15:03 Since what was his nickname, Pug?

02:15:05 Am I out of the loop?

02:15:06 Yeah, you are.

02:15:07 When did that become a thing?

02:15:09 We just decided we needed a pug.

02:15:11 He's a pug.

02:15:12 We picked him as our pug.

02:15:14 I'm out of it.

02:15:14 He looks like a pug.

02:15:15 Do I go straight off of--

02:15:18 Go three.

02:15:19 I don't like what you're doing.

02:15:24 I mean, the clock's ticking, Big Cat.

02:15:25 Yeah, I'll take the second guy.

02:15:29 Hank, you pronounce it.

02:15:34 Ikem Ekwunwunw.

02:15:35 Yep, that's my guy.

02:15:35 Okay.

02:15:36 Okay.

02:15:37 Panthers, offensive tackle.

02:15:40 Yep.

02:15:40 Love it.

02:15:41 Great pick.

02:15:42 Good pick.

02:15:43 I've always loved him.

02:15:44 Icky, they call him Icky.

02:15:45 Okay.

02:15:46 Memes.

02:15:47 I'm just gonna go with guys who know,

02:15:48 big fan of this team, Jason Kels.

02:15:51 Okay.

02:15:52 All right.

02:15:52 Good pick.

02:15:53 That's so fucked.

02:15:54 He just--

02:15:55 I don't have him ranked as a beast or good,

02:15:58 just so you know.

02:15:59 He literally did that to fuck with me.

02:16:00 Yeah, he did.

02:16:01 Now I'm gonna, I'll go with Wyatt Teller.

02:16:05 Oh, that's a good pick.

02:16:06 Good pick.

02:16:07 I should've taken him.

02:16:08 I wanted to take him.

02:16:09 Fuck, fuck.

02:16:10 Oh, he's under beast here too.

02:16:11 Fuck.

02:16:12 Damn it.

02:16:13 I fucked that up.

02:16:14 All right, Jake.

02:16:15 I'm gonna go a little down in the depth chart

02:16:17 we have here, but he's a recurring guest.

02:16:19 Deion Dawkins.

02:16:20 Okay.

02:16:20 All right.

02:16:21 Also say the name of the team,

02:16:22 Buffalo Bills.

02:16:23 Yeah, so this is a educational segment for the people.

02:16:28 We're giving the shine to the big boys.

02:16:30 Sure.

02:16:30 All right, PFT, you got two picks?

02:16:31 All right, so I got a question for you,

02:16:33 because Patrick Ricard was listed as being

02:16:35 an offensive lineman at the start of the season.

02:16:37 He's gonna play some offensive line.

02:16:39 He's also a fullback.

02:16:40 He's a fullback.

02:16:41 He's a fullback.

02:16:42 When I tracked that entire season of fullback assists,

02:16:45 he was top of the list.

02:16:45 Well, that was in the past, but Jake, that was in the past.

02:16:47 So he doesn't line up behind a hard fullback.

02:16:49 He will some this year,

02:16:50 but he started training as a lineman.

02:16:51 You can get him, but you can't get him

02:16:53 whenever he lines up in the backfield.

02:16:55 Those don't count, okay.

02:16:56 Yes.

02:16:57 Hmm.

02:16:58 In that case, I am going to go with...

02:17:02 Oh, this is...

02:17:05 Yeah, it's tough.

02:17:06 It's tough.

02:17:07 Some big names have come off the board.

02:17:08 I don't wanna screw this up.

02:17:09 (laughing)

02:17:10 You know what?

02:17:11 I might wade into the rookie field a little bit.

02:17:14 Okay, okay.

02:17:15 How does that sound?

02:17:16 I'm gonna take, first of all, Cody Mock from the Bucs.

02:17:21 Okay.

02:17:22 The big beast from North Dakota with the long red hair.

02:17:24 Yep.

02:17:25 Missing front teeth.

02:17:26 Okay.

02:17:27 Love that guy.

02:17:27 He just, he screams pancake to me.

02:17:30 Okay.

02:17:30 And then next, I think I'm going to take,

02:17:33 I'm gonna take Aaron Brewer from the Titans.

02:17:35 Okay.

02:17:36 Aaron Brewer on the Titans.

02:17:38 Okay.

02:17:38 He was at the top of the list last year.

02:17:39 Third on the list, yeah, yeah.

02:17:40 Okay.

02:17:41 All right, Jake, you're coming back.

02:17:42 Yeah, I'm going to go with Penesul.

02:17:46 Okay.

02:17:46 Good pick.

02:17:47 Good pick.

02:17:49 Good pick.

02:17:50 From?

02:17:51 The Lions.

02:17:52 Yes, there it is.

02:17:53 Sorry, sorry.

02:17:54 No, that's okay.

02:17:54 Max.

02:17:57 Wait, oh, fuck.

02:17:59 This is a snake.

02:18:00 (laughing)

02:18:03 Robert Hunt.

02:18:04 Okay.

02:18:05 From?

02:18:06 The Dolphins, I believe.

02:18:08 I believe he was on Dolphins.

02:18:08 Nice.

02:18:09 Yeah.

02:18:10 Nice, nice.

02:18:11 Okay.

02:18:12 Memes?

02:18:13 Was Quentin Nelson taken?

02:18:15 Nope.

02:18:16 Quentin Nelson was not taken.

02:18:17 I'm gonna take Quentin Nelson.

02:18:18 Okay.

02:18:18 Good pick.

02:18:20 The Colts.

02:18:21 Colts, okay.

02:18:22 I am going to take,

02:18:24 let me get Caleb McGarry from the Falcons.

02:18:29 Okay.

02:18:30 Caleb McGarry from the Falcons.

02:18:31 Oh, it's Caleb with a K.

02:18:33 Caleb with a K.

02:18:34 Caleb McGarry from the Falcons.

02:18:36 I'm going to take Tim Settle.

02:18:41 Oh no, it's a defensive tackle.

02:18:42 Shit.

02:18:43 You're just going straight off the list.

02:18:45 No, no, I, well, I don't know exactly, like,

02:18:47 which one of these guys.

02:18:48 Watt was on that list, which confused me.

02:18:50 Yeah, apparently they track pancakes on defense too.

02:18:52 Got it.

02:18:53 I didn't know.

02:18:54 Shout out to JJ Watt for retiring too.

02:18:56 He picked the perfect time.

02:18:57 Yeah, I think a lot of these guys are defensive.

02:19:01 Sorry.

02:19:02 We're going to go with Drew Dallman

02:19:07 from the Atlanta Falcons, center.

02:19:08 Okay.

02:19:10 Okay.

02:19:11 And then I'm going to go with, did someone take Forrest,

02:19:14 no, no.

02:19:15 Forrest Buckner's a defensive player.

02:19:17 Taven Bryan.

02:19:18 Let's see.

02:19:20 Nope.

02:19:23 Defensive tackle.

02:19:24 This list is all jacked up.

02:19:26 Okay.

02:19:27 Who you got?

02:19:28 Find someone.

02:19:32 Chris Lindstrom.

02:19:34 Okay.

02:19:35 Okay.

02:19:35 Center for the Falcons?

02:19:38 No.

02:19:39 Yes?

02:19:40 Guard for the Falcons.

02:19:41 Guard for the Falcons.

02:19:42 A couple Falcons.

02:19:42 Okay, you're stacking your Falcons.

02:19:45 I'll go with, can't believe he lasted this long.

02:19:47 I'll go Zach Martin from the Cowboys.

02:19:49 Good pick.

02:19:50 Yeah.

02:19:51 Feels good to get that one.

02:19:52 'Cause it's a name I know.

02:19:54 Yep.

02:19:56 Okay.

02:19:56 Is he playing?

02:19:57 He's not holding out?

02:19:58 No, I think he just got paid, didn't he?

02:20:00 Yep.

02:20:00 Yeah.

02:20:01 He's back.

02:20:02 He just got paid.

02:20:03 Come on.

02:20:04 Don't put that on me.

02:20:05 Don't put that on my team.

02:20:05 It's going to take him a little while to get warmed up.

02:20:07 This is probably the only challenge we've ever done

02:20:10 where I'm fine with losing.

02:20:11 Although 24 is a lot.

02:20:13 24 is a lot.

02:20:14 24 is a painful amount.

02:20:15 18 is still a lot.

02:20:16 12 would be nice.

02:20:17 I think I could do 12 in about two hours.

02:20:18 I think 12 would be a good challenge.

02:20:20 Yeah, 12 would be fun.

02:20:21 At 18 it gets really tough.

02:20:21 Yeah, actually 24 would really suck.

02:20:23 Yeah.

02:20:24 Okay, memes.

02:20:25 I'm going to go with Laramie Tunsil.

02:20:27 Okay.

02:20:28 Gas Mask.

02:20:29 Yeah.

02:20:29 Disavow?

02:20:30 No, I avow.

02:20:31 Strongly avow.

02:20:32 Texans, I think.

02:20:34 Okay.

02:20:36 That's another funny thing where it's crazy to think back.

02:20:39 What was that, seven, eight years ago?

02:20:40 I think it was eight years ago.

02:20:42 And he fell in the draft because he smoked weed.

02:20:45 Yeah.

02:20:45 People were like, this guy gives me character concerns.

02:20:46 Well, they found out right before.

02:20:48 If anything, that dude gave me character pluses.

02:20:50 Yes, yes.

02:20:51 Innovation.

02:20:52 Okay, Max?

02:20:53 Jordan Maillotta.

02:20:55 Ooh, nice.

02:20:56 Fuck you, Max, fuck you.

02:20:57 Nice, good pick.

02:20:59 Rugby.

02:21:00 Piece of shit, rugby.

02:21:00 Good pick.

02:21:01 I don't even like rugby.

02:21:02 Okay.

02:21:04 My turn.

02:21:04 I'm going to go Double Lion and double recurring guest,

02:21:08 Taylor Decker.

02:21:09 Okay, Taylor Decker.

02:21:10 All right, good pick, good pick.

02:21:12 I think.

02:21:13 Oh, Evan had him as good.

02:21:16 He is good.

02:21:17 Yeah, he had him as good.

02:21:18 Okay, all right.

02:21:19 I'm going to go, Max, Lane Johnson.

02:21:22 Love Lane.

02:21:24 I'll trade you Lane for Jordan.

02:21:26 Lane doesn't get many pancakes, according to that stat.

02:21:29 Well, this year he will.

02:21:30 He's a great lineman that doesn't get pancakes.

02:21:32 Okay, then I'm going to go,

02:21:34 I'm going to take Darnell Wright, big cat.

02:21:35 Okay.

02:21:36 Of the Bears.

02:21:37 Nice.

02:21:38 Big boy, Tennessee, the U.

02:21:39 Yes, yes, I like it.

02:21:40 I like it.

02:21:42 Okay.

02:21:42 He's getting, once he gets his hands on you.

02:21:44 Yeah, you don't want that man

02:21:45 putting his hands on another man.

02:21:46 Okay.

02:21:48 Jake.

02:21:49 Wait, did you just, is that your fifth?

02:21:51 I did two fifths.

02:21:52 No, you have one more.

02:21:53 We're coming back around one last time.

02:21:53 Okay, Jake.

02:21:54 This is where we get confused.

02:21:58 Who'd you pick with your last pick, Hank?

02:22:01 Hank took Chris Lindstrom.

02:22:03 Oh, okay, that's right, okay.

02:22:05 Okay.

02:22:07 Go, Jake.

02:22:10 Terrible podcasting.

02:22:10 We should put this at the end of the show.

02:22:12 Yeah.

02:22:13 I'm going to go with Shaq Mason.

02:22:15 Okay.

02:22:16 Wait, isn't he a?

02:22:17 He's a guard.

02:22:18 Oh.

02:22:19 Yeah.

02:22:20 Who's the, oh, Ben Mason is the fullback.

02:22:21 Yeah, I didn't really, okay.

02:22:22 Patriots?

02:22:23 He's on the Texans now.

02:22:24 Texans, okay, big boy.

02:22:25 Oh, fuck.

02:22:26 Did we have him on the show?

02:22:27 No.

02:22:28 I don't think so.

02:22:29 We had, what's his name?

02:22:30 Trent, no.

02:22:31 Line, Line.

02:22:36 Got the tattoo from the Patriots.

02:22:38 Oh, yeah, fuck.

02:22:40 Trent Brown.

02:22:41 Trent Brown, okay.

02:22:42 I'm in shambles here.

02:22:45 We all are.

02:22:47 It's a bad scene right now.

02:22:48 Yeah.

02:22:49 It's a bad scene.

02:22:50 I'm like, I just keep searching guys

02:22:51 and I just keep seeing that they're on defense.

02:22:52 I'm trying to make sure there's no injuries.

02:22:54 Yeah.

02:22:56 Yeah, I also found, I also had a guy, ah, fuck.

02:22:59 Can I pass and come back to make?

02:23:02 Yes, you can pass, okay.

02:23:03 All right, memes.

02:23:05 All right, I'm going to go with Rashawn Slater

02:23:07 from the Chargers.

02:23:07 Okay.

02:23:09 I will go with,

02:23:10 wait, you took Chris Lindstrom?

02:23:16 Okay, I'll take Drew Dallman from the Falcons.

02:23:19 All right.

02:23:20 Oh no, Hank took him.

02:23:21 You took two Falcons?

02:23:22 Yep, I told you.

02:23:23 You motherfucker.

02:23:24 All right, I'll take recurring guest Mike McGlintock.

02:23:28 Ah, damn it.

02:23:28 Broncos.

02:23:29 Fuck.

02:23:30 Yes.

02:23:31 We're just going with names we thought.

02:23:32 I had him on my list.

02:23:33 Yep, yep.

02:23:36 Feels good.

02:23:37 That was a, maybe steal the draft.

02:23:39 Steal the draft.

02:23:40 Good value.

02:23:40 Yeah, steal the draft.

02:23:41 All right, Hank.

02:23:45 I'm going to go with Hjalte Froholt.

02:23:49 Okay, from?

02:23:52 The Cardinals, I believe.

02:23:54 Drafted by the Patriots.

02:23:55 And then I am going to, I was going to take McGlintock.

02:24:00 You really, you really fucked me there.

02:24:01 I did, I fucked you bad, dude.

02:24:03 Took Zach Martin already.

02:24:07 And there's a lot of defensive players,

02:24:08 a lot of offensive players.

02:24:10 Dietrich, nope.

02:24:14 D Delaney.

02:24:17 Okay, what's his first name, Hank?

02:24:19 D Delaney.

02:24:20 D Delaney.

02:24:21 D-E-E.

02:24:23 That's his full name, D Delaney.

02:24:24 Nope, he's defense.

02:24:26 Fuck.

02:24:28 I'm just playing here.

02:24:29 I mean, this list.

02:24:30 What list are you looking at?

02:24:31 I don't see any defensive guys

02:24:32 on the list from PFT Spreadsheet.

02:24:34 The 2002 Pancake Totals.

02:24:36 Oh, there's another list.

02:24:38 There's another list with positions.

02:24:41 I need that list.

02:24:41 Yeah, yeah.

02:24:42 I didn't know that existed.

02:24:43 There's another list?

02:24:44 Yeah.

02:24:45 Where?

02:24:46 Two tabs.

02:24:47 Part two has the positions.

02:24:50 This changes everything.

02:24:51 Oh, shit.

02:24:52 Yeah.

02:24:53 Okay.

02:24:54 Oh, man, I got some good draft picks.

02:24:55 All right, I'll go Jonah Jackson.

02:24:57 Okay.

02:24:58 Wait, I don't have Drew Dallman, that's right.

02:25:01 Who'd you take, Jonah Jackson?

02:25:02 Jonah Jackson.

02:25:03 Okay, Jonah Jackson.

02:25:05 All right, I'm going to make a pick.

02:25:07 Lions, Jared.

02:25:09 We have like the whole offensive line

02:25:11 of the Lions in this draft.

02:25:12 All right, I'm going back to Evan's spreadsheet.

02:25:16 I'm gonna trust Evan's spreadsheet.

02:25:18 I can't take that guy 'cause he plays with the Packers.

02:25:23 Someone already took Wyatt Teller.

02:25:25 Yep.

02:25:26 Does anyone have

02:25:34 Robert Hunt?

02:25:35 Yes, Max.

02:25:36 Fuck!

02:25:37 I have both of those guys.

02:25:38 I'm gonna pass.

02:25:39 All right.

02:25:40 I can just say it whenever?

02:25:41 Yeah.

02:25:42 Okay.

02:25:42 No, wait, no, no, no.

02:25:43 It's at the end of the draft, right?

02:25:44 All right, I'll take Roger Saffold.

02:25:46 Okay.

02:25:47 Bills.

02:25:47 That was just straight, I need,

02:25:49 oh, wait, he's on the Titans now?

02:25:51 I guess.

02:25:53 No, he's a free agent.

02:25:54 Wait, what?

02:25:55 (laughing)

02:25:56 Oh, I need to know someone different then.

02:25:57 Fuck.

02:25:58 You picked him.

02:25:59 Well, can I,

02:26:00 is he not playing?

02:26:01 Google says he's a free agent.

02:26:04 The way that the Dingers Only League went,

02:26:06 if your guy was out.

02:26:08 He's not even on a team.

02:26:09 All right, fine, I'll say, I mean,

02:26:12 if you guys just won't let me take one.

02:26:13 No, you can take one.

02:26:15 Okay, this is getting bad.

02:26:19 Let's see.

02:26:20 Trying to find someone who's on a team.

02:26:23 How about

02:26:26 Ezra Cleveland?

02:26:30 All right.

02:26:31 The Vikings.

02:26:32 Okay.

02:26:33 (laughing)

02:26:33 This is gonna hurt me because there's a couple packers

02:26:35 that I have listed as beast that I didn't take.

02:26:38 Which is really stupid.

02:26:40 But that's fine.

02:26:41 So Max gets one pick now and then

02:26:43 Yeah.

02:26:44 The last one at the end.

02:26:45 How's Roger Saffold?

02:26:45 Wait, no, it means it's Sasuke, right?

02:26:48 Oh yeah, same.

02:26:49 Check update is the spreadsheet wrong.

02:26:50 Oh yeah, wait.

02:26:51 I'm gonna go with Brandon Scherf.

02:26:54 Oh, good pick.

02:26:55 Okay.

02:26:56 I'm gonna go.

02:26:59 Oh, Roger Saffold's failed physical with Raiders.

02:27:02 (laughing)

02:27:03 I'm gonna go with

02:27:04 Michael

02:27:08 Onwenu.

02:27:10 Okay.

02:27:11 Good pick.

02:27:12 Good pick.

02:27:13 Great pick.

02:27:14 He's a Patriot.

02:27:15 Great pick.

02:27:16 Right Hank?

02:27:17 Yep.

02:27:18 I'm gonna go with

02:27:19 (laughing)

02:27:20 Another Patriot, David Andrews.

02:27:22 Okay.

02:27:24 Great pick.

02:27:25 I should have taken him.

02:27:26 Thanks.

02:27:27 So we take Ben Jones already?

02:27:29 No.

02:27:31 Okay, I got Ben Jones.

02:27:32 Nice.

02:27:33 Mr. Relevant on the pass pick.

02:27:35 Oh, I'm done.

02:27:39 Yeah.

02:27:39 Oh, Ben Jones.

02:27:40 Wait, wait.

02:27:41 Ben Jones is a free agent.

02:27:42 Okay.

02:27:43 Oh, I didn't realize that.

02:27:44 I didn't realize that.

02:27:44 I changed my mind.

02:27:45 It's a good thing.

02:27:46 Rewind the tape.

02:27:47 I changed my mind.

02:27:48 You did, good thing.

02:27:49 I did the right thing.

02:27:49 You did do the right thing

02:27:50 'cause that would have been very bad for you.

02:27:53 In that case, I'm going to take,

02:27:55 let's see, Dylan Parham.

02:27:59 Nice pick.

02:28:00 Thank you.

02:28:02 Dylan Parham, he's on the Raiders.

02:28:05 Okay, nice pick.

02:28:06 Thank you.

02:28:07 Josh Jacobs.

02:28:08 Max.

02:28:08 On the ball.

02:28:09 Yep.

02:28:10 Mr. Relevant.

02:28:11 I'm going to go with

02:28:13 Kevin Zietler.

02:28:20 Okay.

02:28:21 Wait, should we draft one more to have

02:28:24 as our injured reserve?

02:28:25 Nah.

02:28:26 Nah.

02:28:27 Fuck that.

02:28:28 This was painful.

02:28:29 That was stressful.

02:28:31 (laughing)

02:28:32 All right, but we got names now.

02:28:33 Okay, so that's our draft.

02:28:36 Pancakes only.

02:28:37 We'll follow along.

02:28:39 We got to tweet out who we got on our teams.

02:28:42 Can't wait for us to do,

02:28:44 or what do we decide for hockey?

02:28:45 Just goals?

02:28:46 I think we just do goals.

02:28:47 Goals and one enforcer.

02:28:49 One enforcer.

02:28:50 Penalty minutes.

02:28:51 Penalty minutes and goals.

02:28:52 Okay, and then basketball,

02:28:53 we said we were going to do--

02:28:55 Dunks.

02:28:56 Dunks.

02:28:57 Dunks only.

02:28:58 The dunks only league.

02:28:59 Did you see the North Korean basketball rules?

02:29:01 What?

02:29:02 Kim Jong-un made his own rules

02:29:03 for basketball in North Korea.

02:29:05 Dunks are worth three points over there.

02:29:06 Ooh, I love it.

02:29:07 It's actually a great rule.

02:29:08 If you look at his rule book,

02:29:09 it's better than the NBA rule book.

02:29:10 Yeah.

02:29:11 Dunks are worth three,

02:29:12 and then if you hit a shot

02:29:14 in the last three seconds of a game,

02:29:15 it's worth eight points.

02:29:16 Did you also see--

02:29:18 That's sick.

02:29:19 Yeah, I love that.

02:29:20 Banking and free throws?

02:29:20 Yes, yes, Kurt Goldsberry posted that.

02:29:23 In Japan, I think,

02:29:25 there's guys who have gone up like 15, 20%

02:29:28 on their free throw percentage

02:29:29 'cause they're banking them in.

02:29:30 Smart.

02:29:31 Yeah, awesome.

02:29:31 Smart, do it.

02:29:32 Like three players shooting over 80%.

02:29:34 It's like a carny game.

02:29:36 Okay, that's our show.

02:29:38 Let's do numbers,

02:29:39 and then we'll send everyone off.

02:29:40 And we have Friday.

02:29:42 We're gonna be talking real football.

02:29:43 It's back.

02:29:44 It's back.

02:29:45 Three.

02:29:46 Meehan, have you ever gotten this?

02:29:47 I'll do one.

02:29:49 69.

02:29:50 18.

02:29:51 20.

02:29:52 Wait, did you pick one?

02:29:53 I picked one.

02:29:54 Do you usually pick that?

02:29:56 He usually picks one or three.

02:29:57 Okay, who'd you pick?

02:29:59 Three.

02:30:00 Oh, and I picked one.

02:30:01 I'll just go with 31.

02:30:03 28.

02:30:06 Ah, so close.

02:30:07 28.

02:30:07 Love you guys.

02:30:08 (whooshing)

02:30:11 (whooshing)

02:30:13 (whooshing)

02:30:15 (whooshing)

02:30:17 (whooshing)

02:30:20 (whooshing)

02:30:22 (whooshing)

02:30:24 [BLANK_AUDIO]

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