The Silent Scramble: We Play 9 Holes Without Saying A WORD. Presented By Bushmills
Big Cat | Pardon My Take
Transcript
00:00 (dramatic music)
00:02 (imitating dolphin)
00:08 (imitating farting)
00:16 (dramatic music)
00:23 - Okay.
00:26 Time for Silent Golf, sponsored by Bushmills.
00:31 The best whiskey in the world, Bushmills.
00:33 We're gonna do Silent Golf.
00:34 We're here at Sunset Valley in Highland Park.
00:36 Thank you so much to the people at Sunset Valley.
00:39 Here are the rules.
00:40 Jake and I, Hank and PFT, silent scramble.
00:45 We're gonna play for a thousand bucks.
00:47 And if you utter a word, that is a one-stroke penalty.
00:52 - I need some clarification on this.
00:54 Can you say like, ah?
00:55 - That is a sound.
00:56 - Okay, so sounds count.
00:58 - Yeah.
00:58 - That is a sound.
00:59 Grunting.
01:00 - That is a word.
01:01 - What about fuh?
01:02 - No.
01:03 - That's a sound.
01:04 - That was a sound.
01:05 I said fuh.
01:06 You can say that on the radio.
01:07 - Yeah.
01:08 - You made an F, like a fuh.
01:09 - Fuh.
01:10 - Okay, so let's go.
01:11 - I was just telling Hank that the problem
01:12 that we're gonna have on our team isn't so much
01:14 talking to each other or coaching each other up.
01:17 It's gonna be Hank not calling himself a pussy.
01:19 - Yeah, so I guess the rules should be
01:22 vowels only, no consonants.
01:25 (grunting)
01:27 - Okay, yeah, gentleman's rules.
01:28 - Yup, so consonants don't count.
01:30 You can't no fuh or shit.
01:32 It's gonna be a ooh or a ah.
01:35 (grunting)
01:36 - These are the noises Jake makes anyway,
01:38 so it's gonna be good.
01:38 - Yeah, I'm gonna kill myself in this game
01:42 because Jake's gonna make grunts
01:43 and I'm just gonna be, 'cause without words,
01:46 the grunts are gonna be so much more.
01:48 But grunt away.
01:48 No, I want you to grunt away.
01:50 Just know that when you grunt away
01:52 and then you peel my body off the highway
01:54 'cause I ran onto it, it's your fault.
01:56 - So yeah, thank you to Bushmills.
01:58 Bushmills is awesome.
01:59 It's single malt whiskey.
02:00 I love Bushmills.
02:01 It is really tasty.
02:02 We had some bogeys on the previous round,
02:04 drank some Bushmills, it's delicious.
02:06 Single malted scotch, nothing like it in the world.
02:09 You know what, it's fitting that we're doing
02:11 a silent scramble 'cause there are no words
02:13 to describe how delicious Bushmills is.
02:14 - I'll be happy with bogeys if we get them today at PFT
02:16 and if we do, we'll be drinking Bushmills.
02:18 - Absolutely. - Great.
02:19 All right, let's do it.
02:20 Silent Golf starts now.
02:23 (dramatic music)
02:25 - You got the box.
02:27 - That should not count.
02:29 - Oh, no, no, no. - That should not count.
02:31 - No, no, no.
02:32 - No, after you tear up.
02:33 - I said silent scramble starts now.
02:34 - No, we already threw it up.
02:35 - That's ridiculous. - I already threw it up.
02:36 I already threw it up.
02:37 - I said silent scramble starts now.
02:39 - I didn't start it, I didn't know.
02:40 - You guys have to take the box now.
02:42 All right, now it starts now.
02:44 (laughing)
02:46 (dramatic music)
02:49 (laughing)
02:52 (laughing)
02:54 (laughing)
03:07 (laughing)
03:19 (laughing)
03:21 (groaning)
03:34 (dramatic music)
03:40 (groaning)
03:45 (dramatic music)
03:48 (laughing)
03:52 (groaning)
03:54 (laughing)
04:01 (dramatic music)
04:13 (groaning)
04:15 (groaning)
04:26 (groaning)
04:30 (groaning)
04:36 (dramatic music)
04:39 (groaning)
04:49 (dramatic music)
04:53 (groaning)
05:01 (dramatic music)
05:04 (groaning)
05:22 (dramatic music)
05:29 (groaning)
05:31 (groaning)
05:53 (groaning)
05:57 (laughing)
05:59 (groaning)
06:07 (laughing)
06:13 (groaning)
06:18 (groaning)
06:27 (dramatic music)
06:29 (groaning)
06:39 (groaning)
06:56 (laughing)
06:58 (groaning)
07:01 (laughing)
07:07 (laughing)
07:23 (dramatic music)
07:26 (dramatic music)
07:29 (groaning)
07:32 (laughing)
07:37 (laughing)
07:54 (groaning)
07:56 (laughing)
08:17 (laughing)
08:19 (whistling)
08:34 (dramatic music)
08:42 (whistling)
08:44 (groaning)
08:50 (laughing)
08:56 (groaning)
09:00 (splashing)
09:08 (dramatic music)
09:11 (groaning)
09:26 (groaning)
09:38 (groaning)
09:41 (groaning)
10:06 (laughing)
10:08 (groaning)
10:14 (groaning)
10:20 (groaning)
10:27 (dramatic music)
10:30 (groaning)
10:47 (laughing)
10:55 (dramatic music)
10:58 (laughing)
11:08 (groaning)
11:20 (groaning)
11:23 (groaning)
11:34 (dramatic music)
11:39 (dramatic music)
11:42 (groaning)
11:58 (screaming)
12:04 (laughing)
12:09 (laughing)
12:11 (groaning)
12:17 (laughing)
12:21 (groaning)
12:26 (groaning)
12:37 (groaning)
12:40 (groaning)
12:42 (laughing)
12:50 (laughing)
13:03 (laughing)
13:05 (groaning)
13:31 (clapping)
13:33 (groaning)
13:45 (groaning)
13:54 (groaning)
13:56 (groaning)
14:13 (groaning)
14:21 (groaning)
14:23 (groaning)
14:28 (laughing)
14:32 (groaning)
14:50 (groaning)
14:53 (laughing)
15:06 (screaming)
15:10 (dramatic music)
15:13 (dramatic music)
15:15 (dramatic music)
15:18 (groaning)
15:44 (dramatic music)
15:46 (groaning)
15:56 (dramatic music)
16:09 (dramatic music)
16:12 (groaning)
16:17 (groaning)
16:26 (groaning)
16:38 (dramatic music)
16:41 (laughing)
17:05 (clapping)
17:07 (groaning)
17:17 (groaning)
17:28 (groaning)
17:31 (laughing)
17:56 (groaning)
17:58 (groaning)
18:08 (groaning)
18:18 (laughing)
18:25 (laughing)
18:28 (laughing)
18:31 (groaning)
18:34 (laughing)
18:36 (groaning)
18:51 (dramatic music)
18:54 (groaning)
19:11 (dramatic music)
19:14 (groaning)
19:23 (dramatic music)
19:39 (dramatic music)
19:42 (groaning)
20:02 (groaning)
20:04 (dramatic music)
20:31 (dramatic music)
20:33 (laughing)
20:40 (groaning)
20:49 (laughing)
20:51 (dramatic music)
20:54 (groaning)
21:08 (groaning)
21:16 (groaning)
21:18 (groaning)
21:44 (laughing)
21:47 (groaning)
21:58 (groaning)
22:01 (groaning)
22:28 (groaning)
22:30 (dramatic music)
22:48 (groaning)
22:50 (laughing)
23:08 (groaning)
23:13 (dramatic music)
23:15 (groaning)
23:30 (groaning)
23:41 (dramatic music)
23:43 (groaning)
23:54 (groaning)
23:57 (groaning)
24:20 (groaning)
24:23 (groaning)
24:32 - All right, I'm sneaking away real quick
24:41 because Hank is playing like dog trash.
24:43 He is playing so bad right now.
24:45 I'm not playing good either,
24:45 but Hank should be playing better, but he's not.
24:48 So I'm gonna take a little me time
24:49 with some Bushmills.
24:50 It's so good.
24:53 Bushmills, awesome scotch, awesome single malt.
24:57 If you have two malts, you don't have one.
24:58 That's what I always say.
24:59 I got the single malt going right now.
25:01 Delicious whiskey, oldest whiskey distiller license
25:04 in the entire world.
25:06 It tastes like golf.
25:07 This tastes like winning golf.
25:08 Down by three, let's turn it on.
25:10 Comeback starts right now.
25:11 (wind blowing)
25:14 (wind blowing)
25:18 (wind blowing)
25:21 (groaning)
25:23 (groaning)
25:44 (groaning)
25:46 (wind blowing)
25:48 (groaning)
25:53 (groaning)
26:01 (laughing)
26:12 (laughing)
26:14 (groaning)
26:39 (groaning)
26:42 (groaning)
27:04 (groaning)
27:06 (groaning)
27:21 (groaning)
27:23 (clapping)
27:36 (clapping)
27:38 (inhaling)
27:56 (dramatic music)
28:02 (laughing)
28:05 (laughing)
28:08 (groaning)
28:11 (laughing)
28:14 (exhaling)
28:18 (grunting)
28:29 (grunting)
28:31 (grunting)
28:33 (grunting)
28:35 (grunting)
28:38 (grunting)
28:52 (laughing)
28:54 (grunting)
28:58 (laughing)
29:06 (dramatic music)
29:34 (groaning)
29:38 (groaning)
29:40 (dramatic music)
29:43 (dramatic music)
29:45 (dramatic music)
29:48 (grunting)
30:10 (thudding)
30:12 (grunting)
30:14 - You guys have sex with each other?
30:20 - Mm-hmm.
30:21 (grunting)
30:38 (clapping)
30:40 (grunting)
30:44 (clapping)
30:57 (grunting)
31:06 (grunting)
31:08 (groaning)
31:21 (grunting)
31:23 (grunting)
31:33 (grunting)
31:45 (dramatic music)
31:48 (groaning)
31:55 (groaning)
32:00 (dramatic music)
32:03 (grunting)
32:25 (dramatic music)
32:28 (laughing)
32:37 (grunting)
32:41 (laughing)
32:53 (laughing)
32:55 (clapping)
32:59 (groaning)
33:19 (dramatic music)
33:22 (grunting)
33:25 Mm-hmm.
33:41 (grunting)
33:44 (grunting)
33:57 Huh?
34:06 Huh?
34:07 (groaning)
34:11 (groaning)
34:13 (groaning)
34:36 (laughing)
34:41 (groaning)
34:43 Huh?
34:52 Huh?
34:56 Uh-huh.
34:56 (grunting)
35:10 (dramatic music)
35:13 (groaning)
35:26 Mm-hmm.
35:31 (groaning)
35:36 (laughing)
35:39 Mm.
35:43 (groaning)
35:46 (laughing)
35:48 Mm?
36:06 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
36:11 (dramatic music)
36:14 (groaning)
36:25 Mm, mm, mm.
36:28 Mm?
36:34 Mm-mm.
36:37 (groaning)
36:41 (groaning)
36:43 (grunting)
36:49 Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.
36:56 Mm.
37:06 Mm.
37:08 (dramatic music)
37:10 (grunting)
37:30 (dramatic music)
37:33 Mm?
37:39 Mm.
37:40 (laughing)
37:45 Mm-mm.
37:46 Mm-hmm.
37:47 Mm-hmm.
37:48 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
37:49 Mm.
37:50 Mm.
37:51 Mm.
37:51 Mm.
37:52 (dramatic music)
37:55 (groaning)
37:57 Mm-hmm.
38:03 Mm.
38:04 (dramatic music)
38:07 Mm-hmm.
38:15 Mm-hmm.
38:16 Mm-hmm.
38:16 (dramatic music)
38:20 (slapping)
38:22 (slapping)
38:32 (car horn honking)
38:33 (groaning)
38:35 (groaning)
38:39 (groaning)
38:48 (slapping)
38:51 (dramatic music)
38:53 (grunting)
39:04 (slapping)
39:08 Mm-hmm.
39:09 Mm.
39:10 Mm-hmm, mm.
39:14 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm.
39:16 (dramatic music)
39:19 (slapping)
39:41 (dramatic music)
39:45 (sighing)
39:47 Mm, mm, mm, mm.
39:56 (screaming)
40:01 (laughing)
40:05 (groaning)
40:12 (grunting)
40:14 Mm, mm, mm, mm.
40:20 Mm.
40:23 (dramatic music)
40:26 (laughing)
40:30 (dramatic music)
40:32 (wind blowing)
40:35 (dramatic music)
40:38 Mm.
40:53 (wind blowing)
40:56 Mm-hmm.
41:05 Mm-hmm.
41:06 Mm-hmm.
41:07 (groaning)
41:10 Mm, mm, mm.
41:11 Mm-hmm.
41:13 Mm-hmm.
41:21 Mm-hmm.
41:22 Mm-hmm.
41:23 Mm.
41:25 Mm.
41:25 (wind blowing)
41:31 (dramatic music)
41:33 Mm.
41:56 Jake fucking sucks, dude.
41:59 (laughing)
42:00 - He just completely let it come down.
42:01 - Let's go, let's go.
42:02 - He completely let it fucking come down.
42:03 - He completely let it fucking come down.
42:03 - He stopped fucking hitting shots.
42:04 - And Hank talked, and Hank talked, and we still won.
42:07 - Oh my God.
42:08 - Let's go.
42:09 - Dude, you suck, dude.
42:10 - He's never hit a hole in one.
42:12 He's never hit a hole in one.
42:13 How do you have that many bad shots?
42:15 - Oh my God, wow.
42:16 - You know I suck at golf.
42:17 - You win three down, two down, one down.
42:19 - Three down, two down, loss of stroke.
42:21 - I suck at golf.
42:22 - Three down, two down.
42:23 - What happened?
42:24 - All square.
42:25 - What happened?
42:25 - One up.
42:26 - They just, they play better than me, than us.
42:29 - Well I suck, I suck at golf.
42:31 I'm terrible at golf.
42:32 - Same.
42:33 - They threw some really nice darts down the stretch,
42:35 and I played like crap.
42:37 - Listen.
42:37 - This is what it is.
42:38 - I mean this is really.
42:39 - He crumbled, he crumbled.
42:40 I couldn't yell at him, 'cause he was crumbling.
42:41 I couldn't talk.
42:42 - It was really Hank over Jake.
42:43 That's what it came down to tonight.
42:45 - That was crazy, Jake.
42:46 - Hank gets a big dub.
42:47 - I wanted to strangle him at the end.
42:49 - He's in one of you.
42:51 - Did you notice what was happening to him?
42:53 - Yeah, I couldn't believe it.
42:54 - Wow.
42:55 - Couldn't believe it.
42:56 - I mean, we also played really well down the stretch.
42:58 - Yeah.
42:59 - Yeah, but all we needed was him to hit a shot.
43:01 - That's true, that's true.
43:02 You need one shot from Jake.
43:03 You need one shot.
43:05 - He also kept on, whenever I would hit a good shot
43:07 that we would use, he would pick it up like it was his ball.
43:10 'Cause he was just like so used to using his ball.
43:12 - He was also late today.
43:13 - Oh man, Jake, that was a meltdown.
43:17 I mean, I suck at golf.
43:18 I didn't help.
43:19 Although I used a shit load of my terrible shots.
43:22 - They played really well down the stretch.
43:23 - God damn, now he's gonna be sad.
43:25 God damn it.
43:26 - That is some insane golf.
43:27 - Now he's gonna be sad.
43:28 - That was karma.
43:29 I could have argued the yeah, but I didn't.
43:31 - No, you said yeah.
43:31 - I know, I know.
43:32 - Hanks' first shot on that hole was money.
43:34 - He said yeah, he said yeah.
43:35 - That shot and the pitching wedge that went over the tree.
43:38 (coughing)
43:39 That was it.
43:40 - Mm-hmm.
43:41 - That was fun.
43:42 - That was some insane shot.
43:43 - And now I lost a thousand bucks.
43:44 - Yeah, I'll pay you.
43:45 - No, I don't want your money.
43:47 - You should take Jake's money.
43:48 - No, I don't want his money.
43:49 - Me and PFT, when we were down three,
43:50 we started drinking the Bushmills and it turned around.
43:53 - That's crazy.
43:54 - They found us quickly.
43:55 - What happened, Jake?
43:56 - That was great.
43:57 - Look at him now, I can't even be mad at him
43:58 'cause he's so sad.
44:00 Look at his face.
44:01 - Shout out Bushmills, thank you Bushmills.
44:02 - I can't get mad at him 'cause he's so sad.
44:05 - No, you're not mad at me.
44:06 - No, I'm not, I can't.
44:07 I mean, I suck, I'm terrible.
44:09 So there's--
44:11 - Yeah, I played like crap.
44:12 (laughing)
44:13 - There's, I can't--
44:14 - There's nothing else to it.
44:15 - I can't even be mad?
44:15 - That was the best nine hole stretch
44:17 I've ever seen from either of them.
44:18 - No, not four, it was five holes.
44:19 - No, I got it, I was actually--
44:20 - Five holes, that's really disgusting.
44:21 - They had top and pars the last four holes.
44:23 - I understand, but we, I just did one shot from you.
44:27 - Yeah, I didn't have it today.
44:29 - Man.
44:30 - Plus one, baby, what a fucking--
44:32 - Wow.
44:34 - Mine's three down, two down, one down,
44:36 all square, plus one.
44:37 What a run.
44:39 - That's disgusting.
44:40 - You'll be talking that for years.
44:41 - That's disgusting.
44:43 (dramatic music)
44:46 - I can't even be mad at him, he's so sad.
44:49 I can't be mad at him.
44:51 (bicycle wheels clacking)
44:54 Can't be around Jake, he's just gonna pout.
44:59 He can't be around Jake, he's just gonna pout.