• last year
A mum who developed an eating disorder after losing "baby weight" for her wedding got healthy again when doctors warned she was "digging her own grave".

Ailsa Gardiner, 29, chose a wedding dress which was fractionally small because she was only six months postpartum.

But by the time she got married she'd started to develop anorexia, and her dress had to be taken in.

The stay-at-home mum battled the eating disorder for two years - eating just one meal a day and walking as many steps as possible.

The mum-of-two wore baggy clothes to cover up her weight loss, and weighed herself three times a day.

But after she collapsed while queueing to buy a coffee with her mother and two children, she asked her husband Richard, 36, for help, and turned her life around.

Doctors warned she was "digging her own grave" and Ailsa realised she "wasn't prepared to not see my children grow up".

Now in recovery, Ailsa from Balloch, Inverness, is happy and healthy.

She eats the recommended amount of meals and says she never even checks the calories on foods.

Ailsa, mum to Lucas, five, and Vanessa, four, said: "I was so unwell, but at the time I didn't see the severity of it.

"Until the day I collapsed - that was when I first realised things had got out of control.

"The night I told Richard about what was happening, I hit rock-bottom.

"Calling the ambulance was a wake-up call - I wasn't prepared not to see my children to grow up.

"The doctors told me if I didn't accept help, I'd have weeks to live.

"My recovery wasn't all plain sailing and there were bumps in the road - it was exceptionally hard work.

"I don't really think about calories now - but if I ever feel guilty about what I've eaten, I just remember how good it feels to finally be free and happy.

"I've got my personality and my life back and that means more to me than anything."

In January 2020, six months after giving birth to her second child, Ailsa went wedding dress shopping.

When lockdown came around, the mum-of-two was furloughed from her job as a wedding and events coordinator - so put more attention on weight loss than before.

She said: "I started going out walking religiously because I wanted to fit into the dress.

"But it started to spiral out of control - by the time the wedding came around, I'd lost so much weight I had to actually get the dress taken in."

At her wedding, she was still what is considered a healthy weight by the NHS, but was exercising excessively and restricting her food intake.

Soon she was eating dangerously few calories and eventually weighed very little for an adult.

She managed to hide the severity of her situation from her family, until in February 2022, when she collapsed while queueing for a coffee in Costa.

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Transcript
00:00 (upbeat music)
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00:38 (upbeat music)
00:40 - I believe that my anorexia started in 2020
00:49 when I was trying my best to fit into a wedding dress
00:54 that I had bought that was about two sizes too small for me.
00:59 And then it just became me chasing numbers.
01:04 I saw the number of the scale,
01:06 the number on the scales loading each day.
01:09 And then I thought to myself,
01:11 how could I get that number smaller, quicker?
01:16 So I started eating less and exercising more.
01:20 I lost my personality.
01:22 I became irritable.
01:23 I just, I turned into a completely different person.
01:27 And then unfortunately things got so bad
01:31 that I ended up in hospital
01:32 where I did manage to get the treatment
01:34 and the help that I so desperately needed.
01:37 Recovery was a bit of a bumpy road to be honest.
01:39 And even my therapist did say,
01:41 this will not be plain sailing
01:43 because it was probably one of the hardest things
01:45 you will go through.
01:46 When I started my recovery journey,
01:49 I find myself in a really positive environment
01:51 in social media where I was inspired
01:54 by these girls posting videos on their recovery
01:58 and their meal plans.
01:59 And just everything was really helping me
02:04 with my recovery.
02:05 That is when my TikTok journey started
02:08 because I thought to myself,
02:12 I really want to one,
02:14 have something that kind of keeps me accountable.
02:17 And two, I really want to help someone out.
02:21 I've always had a passion when it comes to food and baking
02:25 and just having that platform to share my passion
02:29 is incredible.
02:30 I love sharing different meal ideas, different recipes,
02:33 inspiring you guys to make different things
02:36 and to try different things,
02:37 whether you have an eating disorder or not.
02:41 I've managed to actually build up such a brilliant community
02:45 on my TikTok where I've got the most supportive followers
02:49 and they're constantly have my back.
02:52 And it just feels like I've got an army behind me,
02:55 cheering me on every step of the way.
02:57 Being a parent and being in recovery is definitely possible.
03:02 It is hard work, but it is definitely possible.

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