"Sa hindi natin ineexpect na pagkakataon, kinuha naman ni Lord ang aking asawa...My husband was the lead sponsor in our immigration. And when the immigration of Canada found out that he passed on, they took away the visa."
Sa isang pambihirang pagkakataon, nagawa pa rin ng Pilipinang si Ann Fontanilla na matuloy siya at ang kanyang anak makalipat sa Canada. Ngunit sabi nga ni Doc Anna, walang immigration story na walang hirap. Ang buong kwento ni Ann na ngayo'y isang executive director na sa isang unibersidad sa Canada, ibabahagi sa #ShareKoLang.
Sa isang pambihirang pagkakataon, nagawa pa rin ng Pilipinang si Ann Fontanilla na matuloy siya at ang kanyang anak makalipat sa Canada. Ngunit sabi nga ni Doc Anna, walang immigration story na walang hirap. Ang buong kwento ni Ann na ngayo'y isang executive director na sa isang unibersidad sa Canada, ibabahagi sa #ShareKoLang.
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NewsTranscript
00:00 Many Filipinos believe that a better life and future are in other countries.
00:06 In 2019, 5.4 million Filipinos were moved abroad by the United Nations Network on Migration.
00:16 Canada is one of the favorite destinations of Filipinos.
00:20 Now, in my share, Doc Anna will talk about Anne Fontanilla,
00:27 a university executive director who moved to Vancouver, Canada in 2010.
00:32 She lived in Thailand as a graduate student until she was absorbed in the university there,
00:39 married and had a child with a Filipino partner.
00:42 After 19 years in Thailand, they decided to get married and went to Canada.
00:49 Her experience was...
00:52 Listen!
00:54 [Music]
01:02 Hello Kapuso! I am Dr. Anna Tuazon, your storyteller psychologist in my share.
01:08 We asked you if you dream of living abroad.
01:13 We will talk about your dreams with the Filipino immigrant
01:18 and executive director of a well-known university in Canada, Anne Fontanilla.
01:23 Hi Anne! Welcome to my share!
01:25 Hi! How are you?
01:28 And then, how did you get to Canada from Thailand?
01:33 That's the big story.
01:36 So, anyway, in Thailand, I did my master's and then I met my husband.
01:43 We met there and we had a child there.
01:48 Then my husband's plan was, you know what, let's go to another country
01:53 because our child will grow up there.
01:58 So we started our immigration process in 2007, I think.
02:04 And then, oh well, 2005 with me and my husband.
02:09 And then in 2007, when our child arrived, we got married.
02:14 And we got the landed immigration visa in 2009.
02:18 And the policy, I think until now, the policy is once you get your immigration visa,
02:24 you have to fly in a year after you get your visa.
02:28 So, that's it.
02:30 So, life was really good until such time that in 2009,
02:40 we were supposed to prepare to land in Canada.
02:44 That was in November, I remember.
02:47 And then, March 2010, we didn't expect that.
02:54 Lorde got my husband.
02:56 I said, "Okay, what are we going to do now?"
03:00 So, before he passed on, we bought all the tickets in August.
03:08 We were supposed to fly in, land in Canada in August 2010.
03:11 And then, he passed away in March.
03:15 So, my life was really messed up at that point in time.
03:19 I didn't know, this is not according to plan or my plan of sorts.
03:27 What's happening?
03:29 I thought, you know, yeah.
03:33 So, that's when all the good life started.
03:41 And then, suddenly, you were struck by this.
03:44 What are we going to do?
03:47 My son was just four years old or just turned four at that point in time.
03:52 I thought, "No, scrap Canada. I don't think we can survive."
03:59 I don't have a family in Canada, except for my uncle who is in Ottawa.
04:04 But I'm not that close to Canada.
04:07 I said, "What are we going to do here?"
04:10 At that time, our immigration, there was a thing called sponsored immigration.
04:19 So, our sponsor, my family's sponsor, was my husband.
04:23 So, he was the lead sponsor in our immigration.
04:27 When the immigration of Canada found out that he passed on,
04:30 they took away the visa and they scrapped the visa and all.
04:36 So, I said, "Okay, goodbye Canada."
04:40 And that's when I kind of like, I was really lost in myself.
04:48 I really didn't know what to do.
04:52 Everything stopped at that point.
04:56 You know, you've already passed it.
04:57 You know that you've already passed it, but you still can't,
05:01 we still can't make sense of how we could get through something like that.
05:05 It can't make sense out of it when you are so focused and you are so in control,
05:14 or so to speak, you're like a control freak in your life.
05:18 Suddenly, you'll remove everything.
05:22 All your plans, all your love in life will be removed.
05:27 So, everything just disappeared.
05:30 I remembered after his passing, I was just staring and crying
05:36 almost a month, almost a year, almost two years.
05:40 All the symptoms of depression were there.
05:44 You can't think of anything and all.
05:47 But then, what happened was, I needed to work.
05:51 I saw my son who was just four years old.
05:54 I said, "This will kill me if I don't live."
05:58 So, I pivoted on him and said, "I still need to live.
06:04 I still have a child to raise."
06:07 So, at that point, 40 days after his passing,
06:11 I wrote a letter to the Immigration of Canada.
06:16 I told them my story. I said, "We look forward to moving to Canada
06:22 to give a good life to my son, to our son.
06:25 And here we are, he's gone. What will I do?"
06:30 It's an email.
06:32 The good thing that happened was, when we submitted our requirements
06:37 to the Immigration of Canada, I submitted my IELTS, my CV, my transcript.
06:45 And I call it divine intervention.
06:50 Two hours after I sent the email, the Immigration of Canada wrote back to me and said,
06:57 "Send us back your passport. We will reissue you and your son a new visa to land in Canada."
07:05 I said, "Really? Is this true?"
07:10 So, I said, "Ordinarily, immigration, as far as I know, you will have to hire a lawyer
07:16 because your visa was cancelled. You start from scratch or you will start the process from zero.
07:24 You'll start it from scratch again."
07:26 But then, what happened to us, due to humanitarian and compassionate reasons,
07:32 we were given a visa again.
07:36 So, we flew in, but then, you know, you said, "Oh, Canada, all roses."
07:43 All of your dreams were already there.
07:45 When we landed, it was almost fall. It was so cold.
07:53 In Vancouver, it was raining, it was so dark.
07:57 So, from 3.30 to 4.00 p.m., it was already dark.
08:02 So, it was dark, it was cold, we were in the basement of a house, we were alone.
08:10 We have some friends, but then, we don't have family support.
08:14 I didn't know how to drive.
08:16 I was depressed because I was thinking to myself, "What decision did I make?"
08:27 Another bout of depression, another cycle of depression.
08:32 So, it's depression upon depression that you can't heal.
08:37 Grief, depression that you thought moving away, migrating will heal you, but it's not.
08:45 Because the new environment, the new challenges, the new journey is giving you heartaches and headaches
08:54 and stresses that you can't understand.
08:57 I said that your journey to Canada was a very personal one.
09:02 I think more personal than others because they were looking for a job or just wanted to find a better life.
09:11 And for you, it was part better life, part emotional reaction to go.
09:20 Like, "Okay, I just need to do it." And in some ways, that's what your husband wanted for you and your family.
09:26 Yeah, it was his dream.
09:29 But if you think about it, it was really a stupid decision because come to think of it,
09:37 we stayed in Canada for three months, then we got the permanent residency after three months.
09:46 And I said, "We're just going back to Thailand."
09:50 But then before I left Thailand, because I was serving the university for many years,
09:55 they were so gracious to me and said, "If you don't make it in Canada, come back. We'll have the job for you."
10:02 So, they didn't resign me. I didn't lose my job.
10:07 So, three months after staying and landing in Canada, we went back to Thailand.
10:13 And we were in Canada, we couldn't handle it on our own.
10:17 And then we stayed in Thailand for another eight months.
10:21 But you know, the pool of memories and the community felt like everybody was just looking at us
10:30 and they don't know how to react to us.
10:32 We really wouldn't move on if that's the word.
10:38 We wouldn't move on if we stayed in Thailand.
10:45 So, eight months after coming back to Thailand, we went back to Canada.
10:51 July 2011, we went back and I said, "This is it."
10:56 You're going to commit.
10:58 Whether we do it or not, I'm going to commit.
11:03 Even coming back, they said, "It's not any external place that heals you.
11:09 It's something you have inside. You bring it with you."
11:13 And so, you bring with you that challenge to heal wherever you go.
11:17 Wherever you go.
11:19 Yeah. And then you change your mind again.
11:23 And you came back to Canada and this time you said, "Okay, I'm going to give it a full shot, full chance."
11:30 This is it. This is the opportunity. You have it.
11:33 Yeah. No turning back. No turning back.
11:36 So, we have some people who we asked because they said, "There are a lot of people who are looking forward to living abroad and migrating."
11:47 They said, "There are more opportunities abroad."
11:52 And one of our colleagues said, "For now, yes. Because I have a lot of dreams for my family that I will fulfill when I'm abroad."
12:01 Is what they're thinking right? Are there more opportunities?
12:05 Is it easy to get a license?
12:07 I think if we're not afraid to go down any job and we're hardworking, if we're not proud.
12:20 So, I can do it. I studied, I did my master's, I have a good job, I'm an executive in Thailand.
12:31 But then here, I'm working in a mall, even a cleaning job or anything like that.
12:38 It's just a job. What is it? You're going to drown your pride.
12:43 So, you really have to be patient.
12:47 But my realization is that we will not put ourselves down so low that they will not realize that we are productive citizens of the new country.
13:02 So, I thought, "Wait a minute, I have skills, I have talents, I have studies, and I know that I need Canada."
13:15 So, I really pursued looking for a job in a university because I know in the minds and the economy of Canada,
13:25 I can be a productive producer and economic contributor to the economy of Canada.
13:32 And in a way, you're lucky that you were able to work in a field that you really studied, that became your expertise.
13:43 Actually, what you're saying is that maybe definitely when you immigrate, it's possible that it's really worth it.
13:52 And there's no such immigration story that there are no challenges, that there is no hardship.
13:59 Now, what you said, I don't have to give up, I have to give up all my skillsets.
14:05 I have to fight, assert, and then show them and prove to them.
14:11 That you have what it takes, that we are not, you said that Filipinos are hardworking actually.
14:18 Maybe some will disagree, later when we talk about people who will leave because they don't want to go to the Philippines.
14:24 But actually, Filipinos, the moment they leave the country, they are hardworking.
14:29 They are very hardworking and persistent.
14:32 Let's not be arrogant, let's not be grounded, we should really be grounded and you know where you are.
14:42 Let's be realistic in our abilities.
14:44 I'm not aspiring for any position that I can't do, but what I can do, I can do.
14:50 Let's not take that away from ourselves.
14:54 So we have other people who say that they want to live abroad.
15:01 The system in the Philippines is very different.
15:03 One of our fellow Filipinos said, it's okay to live in the Philippines, but the money is hard.
15:10 In other countries, there is health care, monthly allowance, and donations to senior citizens.
15:15 The salary is also higher compared to the Philippines.
15:19 Another said, I'm a big OO.
15:22 Why? Because there is no traffic, the roads are not bad, it's cheap to buy.
15:30 There is a salary and no need for experience in work.
15:33 There is no need for many requirements.
15:36 What would you consider when the fellow Filipinos say, "Oh, it's a bit right, there are advantages."
15:42 Actually, again, I think especially for people who have not experienced living abroad.
15:49 Of course, the grass is greener on the other side.
15:55 They see high-tech, welfare, free health care.
16:00 So what is the truth in what they think?
16:03 They should know, this is the real, let's bust some myths and misconceptions.
16:08 So if you really compare the salaries here compared to the Philippines, of course, it's bigger.
16:13 But what we forget is the cost of living.
16:16 The cost of living here is very high.
16:19 In fact, Vancouver is one of the most expensive cities in the world.
16:24 So, okay, your salary is high, but your cost of living is also high.
16:29 Your taxes are also high.
16:32 You pay taxes up to what? 37-40% of your income.
16:38 So, although that's it, when you think of the big taxes, you can see it in their freebies.
16:45 You can feel where your taxes are going.
16:50 You don't just need money here.
16:54 As a single mom with no family, immediate family here,
16:58 the social support, family support is so big that you can't give a price.
17:06 You can't give a price for that.
17:09 There are a lot of immigrants here who go through mental illness or depression or anxiety or super loneliness.
17:20 Can you pay that money?
17:22 So when you're here, you should be ready to be on your own.
17:27 And as much as possible, to be self-sufficient.
17:33 That's the word, to be self-sufficient.
17:37 I'm not saying that you don't create a community or engage or belong to a community.
17:42 I belong to a community and I find it very supportive and helpful.
17:47 But you always think about it, they also have their own lives and their own businesses.
17:53 And they also have two to three jobs making ends meet.
17:59 But there are a lot of things that we don't see that we can't give equivalent dollar signs.
18:09 So my dear friends, let's not just focus on the amount of salary that we can earn.
18:18 There are a lot of other factors.
18:22 You're right, I notice that when there are adjustment issues, challenges as an immigrant, there's isolation.
18:32 It would be better if there's a chance, in a way, at least in Vancouver, there are a lot of Filipinos.
18:37 The Filipino community is strong.
18:39 And so we need to think about what our trade-offs are.
18:44 So this should not be an impulsive decision.
18:49 It's not just money because Vancouver is very expensive.
18:53 Think about the rent, especially if you don't have family or friends who can rest and help or give you space while you adjust.
19:05 So it's not just the salary, but the different aspects.
19:12 Especially, as Ms. Anne said, the aspects of our lives that are not equal.
19:17 Like money.
19:19 So actually, another challenge is that our other heart is hesitant or worried about immigrating or they don't want to.
19:29 What our other heart says is that if you're able to go, yes.
19:33 But to live there, definitely not.
19:35 It's still different from your own home.
19:38 Contentment versus racism.
19:41 So they're concerned because if you go to another country, not all of them are Filipino, right?
19:47 So there will be racism.
19:49 One said, "I don't want to because I often hear that Asians are being hurt in other countries. It's scary."
19:57 So I think this is pertaining, unfortunately, to a violent reaction during the pandemic.
20:05 There was Asian hate.
20:08 At least in the US, it's very high.
20:11 There's a bit of discrimination.
20:13 Ms. Anne, despite having a big Asian and Filipino community in Vancouver, have you experienced issues of racism and discrimination?
20:26 It's not blatant. It's not obvious.
20:29 Basically, Canadians are very polite and very respectful people.
20:36 But you will feel it, especially if, in my case, I'm rising to the ladder, to the position.
20:45 You will feel that men are still favored in the executive positions.
20:54 And of course, the Caucasian sort of white is still favored.
21:05 But you won't feel it's obvious.
21:13 But it's so true. It exists. It happens.
21:19 And I think, again, what are your control spheres?
21:26 You can only control your circle of influence, right?
21:31 So what I can say is, control your reaction.
21:36 Control how you face those challenges.
21:39 Don't let those challenges overcome you or eat you.
21:44 Because you can't control them, but you can control your mind, your motivation, your drive, yourself.
22:03 I actually stayed, I lived in the States for a few years also.
22:09 Definitely, I'm fair-skinned. That's a big deal, right?
22:14 If you're dark-skinned or brown-skinned, I'm relatively fair-skinned.
22:19 And it's still California. There are a lot of Filipinos and Asians.
22:23 Technically, majority and minority in California.
22:27 And yet, even there, I will tell you, even if you're educated, even if you're competent,
22:33 because racism is not what you're looking at.
22:37 Because you're different from me, and because you're different from me, my approach to you is different.
22:41 So unfortunately, that's the reality when you live elsewhere.
22:47 Especially if they have negative stereotypes about Filipinos and Asians in general.
22:53 We will experience that.
22:56 We're lucky if it's not too direct or blatant.
23:00 Although sometimes, it's more doubtful psychologically.
23:04 What we call microaggression.
23:07 You're not sure if it's racism or legitimate concern to you.
23:13 And then it makes you doubt yourself.
23:16 That's why it's more insidious.
23:18 It's good if it's really blatant because you're Filipino, I don't like you.
23:22 At least you can say, "Oh, I don't have a problem with this."
23:25 That's their problem, right?
23:27 So there's really, actually for me, if we're going to migrate,
23:33 we have to see it with our own eyes.
23:34 The reality is that not all are good.
23:38 There is no such thing as an equal.
23:41 There's no country where racism doesn't exist, where prejudice, discrimination doesn't exist.
23:50 And you said, what you can do at the very least is know who you are.
23:56 Don't let anyone doubt that you're competent, that you're not just Filipino.
24:02 Because that's the stereotype.
24:05 So we have other people, not just because they're afraid or anything.
24:11 They really want to stay in the Philippines.
24:14 There are people like that, they're happy here.
24:17 Our people said, "I would like to ask, I would like to go to my own country, Sililangan.
24:23 You will also miss the food, the culture, and the things we are used to as Filipinos."
24:30 The other one said, "Before, yes, but I don't want to anymore. It's more fun in the Philippines."
24:35 Bonus, you're with your loved ones here.
24:39 Miss Anne, may I ask, what do you miss the most in the Philippines?
24:44 What do you look for when you visit?
24:47 Of course, my family.
24:49 For me, family is everything.
24:54 So of course, when you're far away, first of all, if you have a hard time making money, go home.
25:00 But the roots, your origin, your roots, are a big thing in our identity.
25:13 So if you want to migrate, I think one of the things that I really like is that we don't take away our roots.
25:22 We go home if we can.
25:24 If our children grow up here, we take them home to study Tagalog, to expose them to the Philippines.
25:30 And I always say that I'm a proud Filipino.
25:35 Even if they laugh at my accent, I say, "That's my Filipino English."
25:41 So we shouldn't be ashamed of our roots, of our identity.
25:46 I will ask you what advice you would give to our fellow Filipinos who are dreaming of living abroad.
25:52 But I think you said it already, be proud of our roots, wherever you end up going.
25:58 Because like we said earlier, it doesn't matter the external place you're going.
26:03 Your joys, your suffering, your grief, you're bringing it.
26:07 And even our Filipinoness, we're bringing it wherever we go.
26:15 Thank you, Ms. Anne, for sharing your story.
26:20 And I hope our fellow Filipinos learned a lot about the reality.
26:25 It's not just an offer, it's not just a job offer, we don't see it on TV.
26:33 It's fun and there are challenges.
26:36 That's what I heard from you.
26:39 Thank you so much.
26:41 Thank you, too.
26:44 Thank you, I'm so humbled to be part of your show.
26:47 If you have something to talk about, just leave a comment below or email us at sharekoLang@gmainews.tv.
26:56 We're also streaming on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts.
27:02 Thanks for tuning in!
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