Luton to be the Premier League's surprise package? Tottenham facing relegation?? Kazakhstan on an improbable march across Europe?? What's your prediction for football's new season?
Category
🥇
SportsTranscript
00:00 (upbeat music)
00:02 - Well my craziest prediction is that Chelsea
00:09 are gonna win the league,
00:10 but we're filming all these back to back,
00:12 so the week will have passed for you,
00:13 but I'm not gonna get any sort of like,
00:15 oh, change of record if I do it here.
00:17 So my craziest prediction for this
00:19 is that Luton don't just stay up,
00:21 they stay up comfortably with something to spare.
00:25 I mean, no, I'm not going as far as, I'm not mad,
00:28 but I just think everyone's got the bottom of the league,
00:30 they're in every predictor,
00:31 the super computers have got them getting
00:33 like record low points.
00:34 I honestly think not a single team in the world
00:37 is going to have a nice afternoon at Kellenworth Road.
00:40 They're gonna make it so, it's such a horrible pitch,
00:43 and like a horrible stadium to play in.
00:44 I reckon that's worth about 30 points to them.
00:47 What was that?
00:48 What's that score for?
00:49 30 points I reckon that's worth to them this season,
00:51 and I reckon they'll just get a bit of confidence,
00:53 they'll get a bit of momentum,
00:54 they'll bloody the noses of far better football teams.
00:58 So I just reject out of hand completely
01:01 this notion that Luton are some minnows
01:03 and they should be grateful they're up here.
01:05 Nah, they're gonna batter teams,
01:06 they're gonna make people look really stupid.
01:10 Batter teams?
01:11 There's a battering in Luton, at least one this season.
01:14 - Who's your favourite Luton player?
01:15 Ross Barkley?
01:17 - You took the words right out of my mouth,
01:19 Ross Barkley, yeah, it's Ross Barkley.
01:21 - Well that's the key.
01:22 - By the way, one more point away from Kellenworth
01:24 is that...
01:25 - Well, that's a great point Ryan,
01:28 because as you well know,
01:29 all the teams in the EFL are rubbish,
01:31 so it makes no difference to them
01:33 going to a ground like that.
01:34 But Premier League teams are gonna turn up
01:36 and be like, "Sorry, you want me to get changed
01:37 "in a car park?"
01:38 It's just not gonna work.
01:40 Luton.
01:41 Well you should, Adam, you should expect fireworks here
01:43 because my craziest prediction sits in stark contrast
01:47 to your first answer last week,
01:49 who will win the Premier League?
01:50 You said Chelsea.
01:51 - I did.
01:52 I don't think Richie Pochettino makes Christmas.
01:54 (crowd oohs)
01:55 I don't think he makes Christmas.
01:57 - He's gonna die.
01:58 - Well, not brown bread, just out of work.
02:01 I think there's a number of reasons for it.
02:03 Firstly, the Chelsea fire sale over the summer.
02:06 I've lost track of the number of players.
02:08 I've sold Kante, Koulibaly, Javier, Kovacic,
02:11 many to direct rivals, which is absolutely ridiculous.
02:15 I think the squad from last season is very patchy.
02:18 That Mudrick sign-in for a ridiculous amount of money
02:21 didn't impress whatsoever.
02:22 Enzo Fernandez blew hot and cold.
02:24 I just don't think the squad's any good.
02:27 I also think even getting Poch in
02:29 was a ridiculous decision.
02:30 One of many ridiculous decisions by this ownership.
02:33 Former Tottenham coach, the fans don't like him.
02:36 The second things start going wrong,
02:37 they're gonna turn on him.
02:38 And Stamford Bridge is gonna be an absolute hell hole
02:40 for the man.
02:41 And I think as soon as the wheels start coming off,
02:44 it's gonna be 10 times worse than it would
02:46 if they got any other manager in.
02:47 Pochettino, brown bread, not dead,
02:50 but just sacked by Christmas.
02:51 - This is pure, I don't know,
02:53 building talk sport coming out of you right now.
02:54 - And I say, Guss Hiddink will be getting a phone call
02:58 before the turkeys come out.
03:00 Yeah, keep 2024 free, Guss,
03:03 'cause you're gonna be required.
03:04 (laughing)
03:05 - Luton to stay up.
03:07 (laughing)
03:09 Luton to stay up, I think, not comfortably,
03:11 it's gonna go to the wire.
03:13 The last four Premier League debutants have stayed up,
03:17 I think. - Okay.
03:19 - All the promoted teams last season survived relegation.
03:23 - Okay.
03:24 - They've got a player called Carlton Morris up front,
03:26 which my friend said,
03:28 sounds like your dad's first ever car.
03:30 (laughing)
03:31 That's funny.
03:32 And just Kenilworth Road.
03:35 It's beautiful, a beautiful time capsule
03:38 for players to hate going to.
03:40 So they're the new Stoke, I think,
03:43 for at least a season. - Wow.
03:45 - I think it's really,
03:46 but in fact, no, I'm doing them a disservice there,
03:47 'cause they've got a forward-thinking manager, Rob Edwards,
03:51 who likes to press and water-tight defence,
03:53 so they'll do bits, it'll be tough,
03:56 I think it'll go to the wire,
03:57 but I think they'll be all right,
03:58 it'll be all right, Padres.
03:59 No, I'm looking forward to them,
04:02 I'm looking forward to them,
04:03 I'd like to go to Kenilworth Road.
04:05 - Oh, that's what this is,
04:06 that is a ticket block, this is it.
04:07 - You gotta go, it's like a pilgrimage,
04:09 it's like the Stonehenge of English football,
04:12 gonna go and pay my respects.
04:13 - St. Etienne.
04:14 (laughing)
04:14 - Yeah.
04:16 - But, come on, you know, the grandkids are gonna go,
04:18 there's no way you made Guardiola and Haaland
04:21 go and play in that stadium,
04:22 but it's happening and I can't wait to see it.
04:24 - I predict that Tottenham Hotspur might get relegated.
04:30 (laughing)
04:32 - That's the best one, stop the team.
04:34 (laughing)
04:36 Let's hear it, come on.
04:37 - Harry Kane's gone, so that's like,
04:43 30 goals last season and the worst Spurs side ever,
04:48 is just, like 30 goals gone,
04:50 who's gonna score the goals?
04:51 Richarlison, he got like one last season, he's awful.
04:54 And then, I'm not convinced of Postacoglou anyway,
04:58 he's just, what's, like Celtic.
05:01 - It's Barbe-like now, isn't it?
05:02 - Yeah, it's Barbe-like, he's got hair,
05:04 he's got hair, exactly, he's not bald.
05:06 (laughing)
05:08 I just don't, I'm not saying they'll get relegated,
05:11 but I think--
05:12 - You are saying they might.
05:13 - They might, I think they'll be in a relegation scrap.
05:15 I think Kane was worth 24 points for them last season
05:18 with his winning goals.
05:20 Take them away, they would've had 36,
05:22 which was level with Everton, so they're pretty poor.
05:26 And then their signings this season,
05:28 Manos Solomon, Dejan Kulisavski on a permanent.
05:33 I can't remember.
05:34 - Madison?
05:35 - Madison, what, he got relegated last season,
05:36 so like, what's different there, yeah?
05:40 They're gone.
05:42 I'm gonna avoid the Premier League
05:43 or something different.
05:44 - Okay, nice, yeah.
05:45 - So I'm gonna go for two things,
05:46 Kazakhstan qualifying for the Euros.
05:49 - Sorry, sorry.
05:50 - 'Cause why not?
05:50 - Sorry, I'll just stop you there, I'll just stop you.
05:52 Nah, it's good.
05:53 (laughing)
05:54 Kazakhstan qualifying for the Euros.
05:55 - Kazakhstan qualifying for the Euros.
05:58 - Why?
05:59 - Because they're actually doing quite well,
06:00 they've got a decent chance, actually.
06:02 - Okay.
06:03 - They've just beaten Denmark.
06:04 - Right.
06:05 - Denmark have a decent team.
06:05 - Yeah, can we have some Kazakhstan superstars?
06:08 - Not right now, I'll come back to that one.
06:11 (laughing)
06:13 - Not right now.
06:16 - But as soon as I've got those,
06:17 I'll come back to you.
06:19 (laughing)
06:20 - Qualifying's already started, isn't it?
06:21 - Yeah, so they're currently vying
06:23 for the top two in their group.
06:24 - Okay.
06:25 - And also, even if they don't make that,
06:29 they'll be in the playoffs,
06:31 which they might well qualify from,
06:33 they might play someone like Georgia.
06:34 So that's one.
06:36 My other prediction is that Sevilla
06:38 will not win the Europa League.
06:39 - Wow.
06:40 - That's crazy.
06:41 - That's crazy.
06:42 - Yeah, I know that seems hard to believe,
06:44 but basically UEFA have had a think about this
06:46 a few years ago,
06:46 they thought, well, this can't keep happening.
06:49 So they changed the rules and decided
06:51 that the Europa League winners
06:53 would go into the Champions League directly.
06:55 Now this was the worst possible news for Sevilla,
06:57 because they do not want to be in the Champions League.
06:59 But they've ended up there again now,
07:01 and I predict that this year,
07:03 they will accidentally finish in the top two
07:04 of their Champions League group,
07:05 not finish third as they always do.
07:07 - They won't make it.
07:08 - Yeah, and they will--
07:09 - They won't make it.
07:10 - They'll be finished second in their Champions League group
07:12 and they'll be devastated that they have to go
07:13 into the last six to eight in the Champions League,
07:15 and they'll miss out on the Europa League,
07:17 and Liverpool will end up winning it instead.
07:18 - Wow.
07:19 - Wow.
07:20 - That's just, I mean, sorry,
07:21 that's the best we've heard all day.
07:23 - That's pretty good.
07:24 - So I didn't know what to go with.
07:26 I think Bournemouth are gonna get into the Europa League.
07:29 - All right.
07:30 - I think Margot Robbie is gonna wear the away shirt,
07:33 the Fulham shirt, the Barbie shirt.
07:35 But my craziest prediction,
07:38 I think that Harry Kane is not going to win the Bundesliga
07:42 with Bayern Munich, right?
07:44 Now, can I just caveat this,
07:47 that Harry Kane is probably the greatest English striker
07:51 of all time at this point.
07:53 - Yeah, that's a crazy prediction.
07:54 - Okay, I'm just gonna be nice and say that
07:57 because he's also cursed, right?
08:00 Tottenham last won a trophy 2008.
08:03 Shortly after that, he comes into the senior side,
08:06 goes to Norwich, but doesn't get promoted
08:08 with Norwich who have like serial promotion hopefuls.
08:13 Goes to Leicester, but not when Leicester get promoted
08:16 or win the league.
08:17 - Holds them back, got it, yeah.
08:18 - Yeah.
08:19 He's at Tottenham for however many years it was
08:22 with Pochettino, didn't even win a league cup.
08:25 He had Jose Mourinho, serial trophy winner,
08:28 looked like he was going to play in the final
08:29 under Jose Mourinho.
08:31 Mourinho gets sacked the week before
08:32 and it's like Ryan Mason's second game in charge.
08:35 He's been the England captain for England's greatest team
08:40 for years and years and England haven't won anything
08:44 while the England youth teams have won the Euros,
08:47 the World Cup, just about everything.
08:49 I think he's cursed because there's no way
08:52 that a player that good has not even won a league cup,
08:55 a community shield.
08:56 So I think--
08:58 - So you think the curse that that witch put on Tottenham
09:01 was actually put on Harry Kane?
09:02 - I think he's put on Harry Kane.
09:03 I think if Kane leaves Tottenham,
09:04 I think Posta Cogliu sweeps the quadruple.
09:07 Like maybe a league cup or whatever, but yeah.
09:11 I think it's all on Kane.
09:12 I think that Dortmund will win the league and Kane--
09:16 - What about Kane wearing Skechers?
09:19 - I mean, they're comfy, they're comfy, so you know.
09:22 - Skechers are cursed.
09:24 - Skechers are comfy.
09:25 I think it's Kane.
09:26 I think that Kane is the curse
09:27 and as soon as Kane leaves the England team,
09:30 England will win the World Cup.
09:32 It's coming home.
09:33 It's coming home.
09:34 - We'll revisit this, we'll revisit this.
09:36 - Don't shoot the messenger, I mean.
09:39 (upbeat music)
09:41 (upbeat music)
09:44 (upbeat music)
09:47 (upbeat music)
09:49 (upbeat music)
09:52 (upbeat music)
09:54 (upbeat music)