My Menopause, My Journal, My Rules - important new book
Entering surgical menopause at just 33, Victoria Hardy felt lost and isolated. Her mental health sank dangerously low.
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00:00 Good afternoon, my name is Phil Hewitt, Group Arts Editor for Sussex Newspapers. Really,
00:06 really lovely to be speaking to Victoria Hardy from Bogner, who has written and released
00:11 a really important new book called, I guess in a way it's all in the title, My Menopause,
00:16 My Journal, My Rules. Now briefly, why did you write this book? You were in a pretty
00:22 difficult position, weren't you?
00:25 I was, yeah. So I went into menopause at the age of 33, so a little bit outside of the
00:30 box. And I went in through a hysterectomy, so had no clue what was about to hit me. Started
00:38 to experience symptoms physically and mentally. And it took me to get into a pretty dark place
00:48 with my mental health.
00:49 Because you were experiencing the menopause symptoms without realising what was happening?
00:54 I was, yeah, because there was no sit me down chat with any healthcare professionals to
01:00 say this is what you're going to experience and this is going to be lifelong for you.
01:05 And they're not necessarily going to creep up, you might get them all at once. So I felt
01:10 like I was losing my mind. I didn't know what was going to happen.
01:13 So just overwhelming?
01:15 Very overwhelming. And yeah, it really started to affect my mental health. And I would, you
01:22 know, alongside experiencing the usual hot flushes, I would get anxiety, my confidence
01:27 dropped. I became really depressed and just felt like I was losing my mind because I would
01:32 forget things that I never used to forget before. Or whilst my hormones were just obviously
01:39 running away with me. So I, after having some cognitive behavioural therapy, I started to
01:48 connect back into what would bring me joy, which for me was writing and being creative.
01:53 So I set up a Instagram account called Ginge Unhinged and started posting little blogs
01:59 on there. And finally, that grew. And then I found all of these other people experiencing
02:05 menopause in the same way, and in different ways from their teenagers to their 20s, 30s
02:11 like me. And we didn't quite feel like we were part of the perimenopause conversation.
02:18 We were also part of the usual, I suppose, women experiencing menopause. And I just started
02:26 to explore writing and finding stories and journaling really saved me actually. I journaled
02:33 a lot when I was at my worst with my mental health. It helped me focus on brain fog and
02:38 helped me build my confidence. So I started to put it all together into a book and bring
02:44 in people's stories, my own story, but also wanted to give somebody or reading it that
02:53 element of writing.
02:54 You've got the book in your hand, hold it up.
02:56 Yes, there it is. And just so that they could read and connect to other people's stories,
03:05 connect to themselves through this time. So whatever type of menopause experiencing, whether
03:09 it is kind of a natural perimenopause, or somebody's gone through it through cancer
03:13 treatment, for example, that they could feel empowered to kind of own it and make their
03:18 own rules.
03:19 It must be such a powerful feeling that you're sitting there holding what was, to an extent,
03:26 your solution to what you were feeling.
03:28 Yes, absolutely. And I always said, like, when I got my first draft, I just remember
03:34 saying whatever happens now, whether one person is helped by this, like I've done it. And
03:39 this was like my own guidebook to writing myself, hand down to my daughter, my son,
03:46 and say, this is what I went through and let that conversation go on to the next generation.
03:51 Because that was something that I think a lot of women are kind of wanting.
03:53 So where are you now with all of this? Are you in a good place now?
03:58 I am in a good place. Yeah. So I've got my HRT all sorted, which is nice. It's been a
04:05 battle, but we've got it. It's really been cathartic writing it for me too. And knowing
04:11 that I'm helping other people, I think, gives me kind of a new purpose, which is nice. And
04:17 yeah, and I've also learned along the way, because it shares all the things that I've
04:21 loved and loathed, because some things, you know, not everyone's cup of tea, you know,
04:24 we all like to do different things to find what kind of makes us smile or brings us peace,
04:31 whether it's running or mindfulness or yoga, you know, whatever it is. So there's lots
04:36 of funny stories in it where I've tried all these different things. But in that quest
04:41 of kind of finding what works for me, I have found what works for me.
04:45 And that's what's going to make the book so powerful, the fact that you've been there.
04:49 It's not a sort of remote, distant academic study. It's your absolute first hand experience
04:55 of how you put yourself back together, isn't it really?
04:59 Yeah, and it's packed full of information. And I purposely haven't put doctor's information
05:05 in there or statistics in there, because they change so frequently. I wanted this to be
05:11 something that really could stand the test of time. And that's why the reader involves
05:16 themself in writing in it and ripping the pages out. And you can even burn some of the
05:20 pages, which is fun, to find what's relevant at the time. Because, you know, as I say on
05:27 the back, information can change in a tweet. So we need to kind of keep things relevant.
05:33 And that's what it's about.
05:35 What a truly fantastic achievement to turn things around in that way and to be holding
05:40 your own book that's going to help so many other people. Congratulations. It's available
05:44 on Amazon and through your own website, which is wonderfully named
05:48 Gingeunhinged.com.
05:49 What a brilliant title. Victoria, lovely to speak to you. Thank you.
05:55 [BLANK_AUDIO]