Brandon Donlon Survivor 45 Exit Interview
Brandon Donlon Survivor 45 Exit Interview
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00:00 (soft music)
00:02 - Okay, Brandon, what's the over under
00:06 on how many times you will cry during this interview?
00:09 - It's non-zero.
00:10 It's more of what we can't stop now.
00:12 You know, we cried a lot last night.
00:16 This morning, I haven't checked Twitter.
00:19 I made the mistake of checking Twitter
00:20 after the episode last week, which was a bad move.
00:23 I checked Twitter a little bit this morning
00:24 and from everything I've seen, I'm just like,
00:27 30 seconds in.
00:29 I can't believe it.
00:30 This is, it's the best thing that's ever happened to me
00:33 and to have, you know, people would call this
00:36 like a worst case scenario.
00:37 People would say this is like a bummer of a situation.
00:40 I cannot stress enough.
00:41 This is everything that I've ever wanted.
00:43 And I'm so beyond happy.
00:45 Great.
00:46 - All right, so let's get into the stuff we saw
00:47 on the screen.
00:48 Let's start with some of the things last night.
00:51 You didn't wanna risk your vote with the beware advantage,
00:53 but then later that same day,
00:55 you did risk and lose your vote on the journey.
00:57 What Gibbs?
00:58 - It wasn't even the same, not the same day.
01:00 It was like two hours, an hour and a half.
01:03 I wanted to do the beware advantage thing
01:05 from when I saw the beware advantages
01:06 in Survivor 41 and 42 and 43.
01:10 Yeah, I wanted to hand them out.
01:12 I wanted to just find one and then pawn it off
01:15 and see if somebody opened it.
01:16 My biggest accomplishment in Survivor
01:18 is that I got to do something that I had dreamed of doing
01:20 when I watched it on TV.
01:21 Super cool.
01:22 Detail oriented or what are you,
01:24 what's the word I'm thinking of?
01:26 What's the, something oriented.
01:27 If it's success oriented, it didn't work out,
01:30 but it was super fun.
01:31 It was super cool to do.
01:32 And then I see the puzzle game at the journey.
01:35 I don't think for a second that I'm not gonna win that.
01:37 It's a game for babies.
01:39 It's a matching game.
01:42 I do not perform well under pressure.
01:43 And I think that a lot of my challenge performance,
01:46 although abysmal, not good, even on a good day,
01:50 I think a lot of it was just, I'm not good under pressure.
01:52 I am actively not good under pressure.
01:54 And it was the timer of it all.
01:56 And it was the matching.
01:59 I never went back to look to see
02:01 if the matches were correct.
02:02 So I put in, there's six possible combinations
02:05 with the three tiles that I had.
02:06 So I did those combinations.
02:09 And then my brain was just like, oh, maybe you missed one.
02:11 So I just kept going through the same six.
02:13 And then I lost my vote.
02:16 I was batting a thousand.
02:17 I'm watching the episode.
02:18 I'm like, oh, I'm doing great.
02:19 And then that, and then I go, oh, this isn't,
02:21 this is where the tide turns.
02:22 - What do you think your chances
02:24 were going into that tribal?
02:25 As you walked into tribal,
02:26 what did you think was gonna happen?
02:27 - It was more than halfway me, but it was clear.
02:30 It was not down and out.
02:33 The check hadn't been written yet for me.
02:34 Like there was a chance.
02:37 And then once at tribal council,
02:40 I got immediate pushback from Sean from a question,
02:43 immediate pushback from Sabaya for a question.
02:45 I, and Sabaya didn't have a vote, but I just,
02:47 I knew, Emily's guaranteed voting for me.
02:50 We know who is the two people
02:52 that are potentially gonna leave.
02:53 Emily's voting for me.
02:55 I hope maybe, Caleb, I wasn't sure about,
02:58 but within when Sean had given me a couple of pushback
03:00 on some questions and then Sabaya also,
03:03 even though she didn't have a vote,
03:04 I figured a decision may have been made.
03:06 So my answer at the end, when Jeff asks,
03:08 like what it meant for me to be here,
03:10 I gave that answer knowing
03:11 that it's probably my last time there.
03:13 And I've wondered after doing it,
03:16 that if I should have like given like a,
03:17 this isn't my last time here,
03:19 like I'd given a quicker response
03:21 that kind of leaned into like, this isn't it.
03:24 And I'm hoping to be here,
03:25 but I would have regretted for the rest of my life,
03:27 not saying exactly what I got to say there
03:30 in my final piece there.
03:31 So listen, you asked me to do anything
03:34 with hands or running or swim, whatever, not the best.
03:38 I can talk, I can give a good speech.
03:39 And I'm very proud of that.
03:41 - And then as viewers, we kind of knew
03:43 that was probably it for you once they aired that thing.
03:45 All right, let's talk about the latter, man.
03:47 Listen, we saw you have that panic attack
03:49 during the marooning challenge.
03:50 First of all, just for those of us
03:52 that have never experienced a panic attack,
03:53 can you explain, sort of walk us through
03:55 what it felt like and what was going on
03:57 while you were on that ladder?
03:58 - Me and Sean jump off the boat.
04:00 We're swimming, batting a thousand in the swimming.
04:03 We get in the boat, we paddle back faster than anybody.
04:06 And then I've watched this now a hundred times
04:08 'cause even I, until it just happened,
04:10 I wasn't sure what happened.
04:12 It seems as though I grabbed onto the rung
04:15 that everybody else stepped on.
04:17 So I, my balance was off.
04:20 And granted, like it is,
04:22 it has a lot to do with everybody's strength also.
04:24 I'm not saying that like, you know,
04:25 those critiques are not unfounded, I'm with you.
04:28 But because I was wonky on the ladder
04:30 and my weight was distributed weird,
04:32 I couldn't grip on and then I fell.
04:34 And I'm telling you, I mean, getting up there
04:38 from the base of the, or the bottom of the ladder,
04:41 full wet clothes, already exhausted in the swim,
04:44 it is very, very hard.
04:46 And it was the knowing that I was losing it for the tribe.
04:49 It was hearing Jeff, who's right there, yelling at me,
04:52 hearing my whole tribe ask like, "Where's Brandon?"
04:55 I, and I'm telling you,
04:56 I pull with all of the muscle that I have,
04:59 which admittedly, not a ton,
05:01 but I'm pulling with everything that I have
05:03 and I'm not moving an inch.
05:05 I'm not moving an inch.
05:06 And that made me full panic.
05:08 Like I felt my body shut down, you know?
05:11 And I could, the panic attacks that I've had,
05:14 my hands like freeze up and I can't really like,
05:18 you know, do this.
05:19 If this is a, this is a, you know, a word medium,
05:23 you can't see me do this, but I can't move my fingers.
05:24 You know, Sean comes down,
05:26 we do the really beautiful hand-holding shot.
05:28 He gets me up there and then I get to the mat
05:32 and I blacked out.
05:32 Like I have no memory beyond like kind of getting up
05:36 past the thing there.
05:37 And now it's a weird like phantom thing.
05:39 And now that I've seen it so many times,
05:41 I feel like I remember it,
05:42 but I was laying there for quite a bit.
05:45 And it's, I mean, again, you don't wanna open like that.
05:48 You know, I've seen like even the 44 opening challenge,
05:52 Carolyn can't get the ring up the big pole.
05:55 And I'm like, oh, that is not great.
05:57 You know, you don't wanna go back to your camp with that.
05:59 This is like times a thousand.
06:00 So it was all of the things, you know,
06:02 they were just like,
06:03 oh, this is my biggest nightmare coming true.
06:05 You know, this is exactly what you go there
06:08 and you hope doesn't happen.
06:09 I would venture to say maybe the worst day one opening
06:12 that you can get in the history of the program.
06:14 But you know what?
06:15 We trucked through.
06:16 My way of coping is just making jokes.
06:18 And, you know, I loved my little,
06:21 like I'm gonna sit out of sweat.
06:22 Like a contextual joke is just like chef's kiss to me.
06:25 It worked out for the best.
06:26 You know, I went back and just, you know,
06:27 told everybody like, hey, I had a panic attack.
06:29 It's a thing that happens to me,
06:31 but we'll press forward and we'll hang out for a little bit.
06:34 And hopefully we forget about it.
06:35 - I mean, you mentioned that you sort of blacked out there.
06:37 So you may not really know the answers,
06:39 but like I'm sure a lot more went down
06:41 that didn't make it to air
06:42 'cause everything in "Survivor" a lot more goes down
06:43 that doesn't make it to air.
06:45 So both during the event and after,
06:47 once you were recovering and medical was checking you out.
06:49 So tell us sort of what we didn't see
06:51 about that whole process, Brandon.
06:52 - Sure.
06:53 So there was a 45 minute long, maybe, medical visit.
06:56 I mean, super fans, you know, you get to meet Dr. Joe.
06:59 It's great.
07:00 He's a great doctor.
07:01 The "Survivor" medical team was beyond helpful for me.
07:04 And really I have heard secondhand that Dr. Joe had said,
07:07 like, Brandon is in like no physical danger,
07:10 but he's having a panic attack.
07:11 And that is making him feel like he is, you know,
07:14 in quite a bit of danger.
07:16 Jeff was asking me "Survivor" trivia questions
07:19 to like calm me down, which was very nice.
07:21 He asked me at one point, he's like,
07:22 "Who's the biggest villain in "Survivor" history?"
07:25 And I said, "The latter."
07:26 And it was the first words that I had said
07:28 and everybody cracked up.
07:29 Well, you know, that again, I didn't hear it.
07:31 I wish I could have heard it
07:32 because apparently it was, you know, the room-
07:35 - It killed.
07:36 - It killed, it killed, it killed.
07:37 I murdered.
07:38 It killed.
07:39 So then I was just down for a little bit.
07:41 And then eventually I got up, they got me water.
07:43 In the theme song, they show a clip
07:45 of somebody getting water poured in their mouth.
07:48 That's this guy.
07:50 So that's, it's super, super cool.
07:51 But I mean, I cannot commend the medical team there enough.
07:54 I immediately like getting situated
07:58 and coming back into reality.
07:59 I knew that I was in really good hands.
08:01 So thrilled about it.
08:02 - Let's jump ahead to the last puzzle
08:04 that sort of maybe sealed your fate.
08:06 What happened on that puzzle?
08:07 Sabaya seemed pretty frustrated with you during that.
08:09 What was going on?
08:10 - You know, I think there was a couple of things
08:12 where, you know, we were both not,
08:15 I was much worse than Sabaya at the puzzle.
08:17 I'm not saying that Sabaya and I
08:18 are equally bad at the puzzle.
08:19 We didn't, I think we were both frustrated
08:21 because we could hear the other tribes making,
08:23 you know, a ton of progress.
08:24 And I felt a lot of that
08:26 because I had said I was the puzzle guy.
08:27 I mean, and then you have both the other teams
08:30 who have puzzle people on their teams
08:32 who are really good at the puzzle.
08:33 I was like, puzzles, you know,
08:34 I was hoping that I would do a lot better,
08:36 but I'm really, I'm telling you, it's performance anxiety.
08:39 I put together puzzles like everybody did before we left.
08:41 You know, I can do it in the comfort of my home,
08:43 but they're, you know, the clip of me shoving,
08:47 the just seeing if this works, oh my God.
08:50 I mean, it just like, I am mentally somewhere else.
08:53 And then Sabaya, obviously, like we wanted it so bad.
08:56 And, you know, we had a little bit of a lead and I felt,
08:59 I mean, I think that getting back to camp after that
09:02 is the most just dejected I've ever felt.
09:05 And again, like the challenge performance,
09:08 I went going in knowing it wasn't gonna be,
09:11 I'm not Jonathan Young.
09:12 I'm really not anything.
09:13 (laughs)
09:14 It's the other spectrum,
09:15 the other side of the spectrum is much harder.
09:17 But like that particular challenge,
09:19 I don't know how it was that bad.
09:22 I don't know how it was that bad.
09:23 And that's a hard puzzle.
09:24 It's a really, really hard puzzle.
09:25 I commend the other folks on the other tribes
09:27 who got it done, but we couldn't get it done.
09:29 - Listen, you got on Survivor,
09:31 you got to compete in challenges,
09:33 you got to go on a journey, you found an advantage,
09:35 you got to get your torch snuffed.
09:38 Besides winning, 'cause obviously
09:39 that's the ultimate goal for everyone,
09:40 what's the one other Survivor milestone
09:43 you wish you'd gotten experience?
09:44 I know there's a million, Brandon,
09:45 so don't give me the list of everything
09:46 that happens on Survivor.
09:48 But what's the one thing that like you wish
09:50 you could have experienced while you're out there?
09:52 - There was the Kendra came to our camp,
09:54 the first day, the first tribal council,
09:56 which was super nice.
09:58 They cut it out of the episode just 'cause I'm sure,
09:59 you know, a ton going on.
10:01 I would have liked to have just met the other people.
10:03 Like on the boat, I'm saying like,
10:05 I'm with my family, right?
10:06 And I only got to meet five, six people in the family.
10:08 You know, I would have liked to have just like,
10:10 and then I got to meet Bruce and Drew on the journey,
10:12 which was super cool.
10:13 I would have liked to have just, you know,
10:14 I know how Survivor casts.
10:16 I know that I'm with like 17
10:17 of the most interesting people in the world.
10:19 I've been saying this whole time,
10:20 I have no idea how I get so lucky
10:21 to like hang with these people that are so, you know,
10:23 beyond brilliant and funny and intelligent.
10:26 You know, you can't get better people.
10:28 My group is, I'm telling you,
10:29 you got to meet these people.
10:30 They're the best people you'll ever meet in your life.
10:32 I wish I got to spend more time with them
10:33 on the island, for sure.
10:35 - What have the past five months been like for you
10:37 in terms of knowing this was all going to air?
10:41 Has it been excitement?
10:42 Has it been a little bit nervous
10:45 in terms of knowing what was happening?
10:46 How's that was going to be received?
10:47 What is, 'cause that's the weird thing about Survivor.
10:48 You live it all,
10:49 then you have to live it all again, five, six months later.
10:52 - This is the question that's going to make me cry,
10:54 potentially.
10:55 I was good when I got back.
10:56 I was super good.
10:57 The past month has been pretty rough.
11:00 It's, you know, I mean, and again,
11:02 I'm not giving credence to anybody
11:04 who's sending hate online.
11:05 You know, the past week has been very, very rough.
11:09 I thought we were all like,
11:11 I didn't think people cared about the challenges so much,
11:13 but you get a guy who's not great
11:15 and the challenge isn't there, oh my God.
11:18 But knowing all of this was going to air
11:19 and then having it air, I mean, I feel,
11:22 just this morning, I feel so free.
11:24 I feel this weight is off my shoulders.
11:26 I can like be myself.
11:28 I can do this.
11:29 Like, this is what I'm good at, you know?
11:31 And like talking with people about the show
11:33 and being so excited, they're so excited for me.
11:34 And I just, knowing in the back of my mind
11:36 that it doesn't go the way that everybody's hoping
11:39 that it goes for me, you know?
11:40 But now being able to say like,
11:42 I saw, I lived what you just saw
11:45 and I'm still just the happiest that I've ever been.
11:47 I mean, I got, I mean, I cannot stress enough.
11:49 I got exactly what I wanted.
11:51 I really like, I can't believe I did it.
11:53 I can't believe that I got to do it, you know?
11:55 And it does, you know, results oriented
11:57 is what I was thinking of earlier, results oriented.
11:59 You know, results oriented,
12:00 you would say this is an unsuccessful run,
12:02 but like the best part of this for me
12:03 was that I have friends from elementary school
12:06 and high school.
12:06 And when I worked at Panera Bread in college
12:08 and people that I went to college with
12:09 and past jobs who are all watching "Survivor" for me.
12:13 And they've texted me and they're like,
12:14 oh, you were right.
12:15 This is really good.
12:16 Like, this is, it's the best show on TV, you know?
12:18 And I, if they keep watching after like episode three
12:23 beyond when I'm not there, that's why I did this.
12:26 It's just, I want people to know
12:27 this is the coolest show in the world.
12:28 And again, I can't believe I got to do it.
12:30 So right now, you know, to answer your question,
12:32 it's been rough, but this is worth it.
12:36 I would do it a hundred more times
12:37 to feel what I feel right now.
12:38 It's, I can't tell you how great this is.
12:41 - Last thing, 'cause I know you got to run, Brandon.
12:43 Like we said earlier,
12:44 so much stuff doesn't make it onto the screen.
12:46 What's something that happened out there
12:48 that you kind of were looking forward to
12:49 to making the episode, didn't make it,
12:52 but just, you know, sticks with you
12:54 as sort of memorable or important about your journey?
12:57 - When I was on, actually, let me talk about the journey.
12:59 When I was on the journey, I don't do the game.
13:01 I come, I'm so excited.
13:03 I'm looking at the little box, the combination box.
13:05 I'm like, I'm going to open this box.
13:07 You guys are going to, you know,
13:07 and all the production folks are there
13:10 and I don't open the box.
13:12 And I'm looking at that.
13:13 I'm like, can I please just open it?
13:15 Like, I don't need what's in it.
13:17 I won't read what's in it.
13:18 I just want to know that I can open it.
13:20 So they, like, they, for a second,
13:22 they're sitting there and they're like, yeah, open the box.
13:25 So I find the correct thing and I got to pull the thing.
13:29 I never opened it.
13:30 I don't know what was in it.
13:31 I don't ever need to know what was in it,
13:32 but I got to open the box.
13:34 Survivor, they knew how badly I wanted to open that box.
13:37 And I got to, like Tyson in that,
13:39 I think it's the final four immunity challenge
13:41 of "Blood vs. Water," he yanks the thing.
13:43 I got to yank the thing and it was, you know,
13:45 it was on a technicality.
13:48 It doesn't count for anything, but I got to, you know,
13:50 when you go to Survivor, you want to open the box.
13:51 Then I got to open the box.
13:53 (logo chiming)
13:55 [BLANK_AUDIO]