How to Start a Business!

Stefan Molyneux

Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free!  Get access to StefBOT-AI, private livestreams, premium call in shows, my new book and the History of Philosophers series!  See you soon!  https://freedomain.locals.com/support/promo/UPB2022  Freedomain Livestream 18-Oct-23  Hey Stef, a bit of an update. I am now making montage videos and shorts for clients. How do i price my work, how do I ask for more, how do i know when I am over pricing. Any hints would be helpful.  "Begging for donations is for Stefy’s survival. Pathetic, unmanly, undignified, untrustworthy."  THE MOVIE I WAS IN AT 19: https://youtu.be/KptD1r2cHyk?t=5075

Transcript

00:00:00 by Baldur's Gate is a fine game.

00:00:03 It's a fine game.

00:00:04 And it has Milo as a character.

00:00:08 Be careful, I might.

00:00:09 [LAUGHS]

00:00:12 It's really well done, very clever.

00:00:14 And it has the exact relationships

00:00:17 with female characters that you would expect Dungeons

00:00:19 and Dragons programmers to have.

00:00:21 So that's interesting.

00:00:24 That's "an-trusting."

00:00:26 So how are you guys doing tonight?

00:00:29 Mostly switched to 4X games?

00:00:32 I don't know what that means.

00:00:33 Triple X, I've heard of.

00:00:34 4X?

00:00:37 What is that?

00:00:37 Triple X plus traps?

00:00:38 I don't know.

00:00:39 Yeah, real-time strategy is great.

00:00:46 My daughter and I delved a little bit into Diablo.

00:00:49 But it's just a bit of a grind and a button masher.

00:00:52 But this one is more sort of pause and strategic.

00:00:55 It's really good.

00:00:56 Pause, set up your spells, figure out your battles,

00:00:59 and it's very well done.

00:01:00 Sounds like a game that would be better playing with others.

00:01:03 Yeah, you can join up.

00:01:04 It's not easy, but you can join up.

00:01:07 I love PC gaming, except that it takes 10 minutes for your

00:01:10 hardware to be obsolete.

00:01:13 It really feels like anything other than ultra-high quality

00:01:16 is just punching yourself in the manhood, isn't it?

00:01:18 It's just horrible.

00:01:20 It's horrible.

00:01:22 I can't grow a mustache, and I can't do ultra-high settings.

00:01:25 [MUMBLING]

00:01:27 I am not strong enough to kill the party in the ruins.

00:01:31 Eat Indian food, turn around, grab your shoelaces,

00:01:34 let rip, man.

00:01:35 The blazing cone of fire is the way to go.

00:01:38 All right, how are you guys doing tonight?

00:01:46 I enjoy PC gaming, but going against console players

00:01:49 with aim assist is tough.

00:01:51 Yeah.

00:01:52 Speaking of hardware issues, I can't connect my brand new

00:01:54 Bluetooth speaker.

00:01:56 Oh, gosh.

00:01:58 Has it been a while since I've had a truly intergalactic

00:02:01 orgasmic tech rant?

00:02:02 It feels like it's been a while.

00:02:04 Rantus Interruptus has been the name of the game.

00:02:08 Do you need a rant?

00:02:10 Because I had one.

00:02:11 Last time was your printer?

00:02:13 Oh, no.

00:02:14 This was not my printer.

00:02:17 Yes, you can connect your phone to your car,

00:02:21 except when you really need to when you're driving.

00:02:24 Absolutely not.

00:02:25 All right.

00:02:26 So I have a very fine fellow who's

00:02:29 helping me with the audio book.

00:02:30 So I have-- the audio book of Peaceful Parenting.

00:02:34 I have a really great mic set up.

00:02:36 And it's a beautiful, sensitive, deep mic,

00:02:39 except it hears your ancestors and the movement of your fluid

00:02:44 around your spine.

00:02:45 And it hears a hiccup that you had six years ago

00:02:49 in another life.

00:02:50 So there is that.

00:02:51 Plus, if somebody is playing, I don't know,

00:02:54 a Marlon Brando movie anywhere within a 12-block radius,

00:02:58 all you hear is, what have I done to offend you?

00:03:01 So it's very sensitive, is what I'm saying.

00:03:05 It's so sensitive, it makes me look like The Rock,

00:03:07 and not even the character, just like a literal piece

00:03:10 of granite.

00:03:11 Anyway, so who here--

00:03:15 quick question.

00:03:16 Hit me with a Y if you love my mouth noises.

00:03:19 Hit me with an F if you would like my mouth noises to fudge

00:03:22 off to another dimension.

00:03:23 Do you enjoy--

00:03:24 [CHOMPING NOISES]

00:03:28 Do you enjoy the mouth noises?

00:03:29 F, yeah.

00:03:30 There's a lot of Fs with the mouth noises.

00:03:33 Come on, who doesn't want to feel like my gum line?

00:03:37 Come on, who doesn't want to feel

00:03:38 like I'm slowly chewing through their soul

00:03:40 and innards and ancestors?

00:03:41 Come on.

00:03:42 Don't you want to be the grass to my lawnmower?

00:03:44 Don't you want to be the sandwich to my chompers?

00:03:46 Everybody loves-- I mean, don't you

00:03:48 want to feel like Jonah being swallowed by a whale,

00:03:51 pretty much masticating yourself down

00:03:53 to the barrel pits of my innards?

00:03:55 Come on.

00:03:56 Beautiful.

00:03:57 It's beautiful.

00:03:59 You want to feel like I'm deep throating your soul,

00:04:02 don't you, as a whole?

00:04:04 I don't mind it, but growing up chewing food

00:04:05 with your mouth open could get you smack.

00:04:09 Yeah, I mean, I love mouth sounds.

00:04:11 You know, I mean, didn't you ever play Pac-Man?

00:04:14 Mouth sounds are just beautiful.

00:04:16 Anyway, so I've got a very fine fellow.

00:04:18 He's helping me out with my mouth sounds.

00:04:20 So what he's doing is he's able to amplify them and also set it

00:04:25 up so that even when you try and turn them off,

00:04:27 they still play in your brain for 3 and 1/2 days

00:04:30 or until you donate, whichever comes first.

00:04:33 So you can pay me to take away mouth noises

00:04:36 from endlessly chewing through the top of your spine.

00:04:40 I'd like to know if you're hydrated.

00:04:42 I don't-- oh, yeah, you-- that's right.

00:04:43 Yeah, you'd like to know if I'm--

00:04:45 and also, you know, every now and then,

00:04:46 don't you want to just, in the middle of an audio book,

00:04:48 hear this?

00:04:49 [SLURPING]

00:04:52 Or as my father used to say, don't slurp your tea.

00:04:54 Don't slurp your tea.

00:04:55 [INAUDIBLE]

00:04:57 This is not better.

00:04:58 I'm sorry.

00:05:00 Next, it'll be-- I'll just be chewing gum.

00:05:02 Chewing gum and peanut brittle at the same time

00:05:05 while jogging in place.

00:05:07 So anyway, I got a guy.

00:05:10 I got a guy, man.

00:05:11 Got a friend, got a buddy.

00:05:12 And what he does is I send him the raw WAV file,

00:05:15 and he sends me back a cleaned up file.

00:05:18 He's just really great, and I really, really appreciate it.

00:05:21 And it's, you know, with no mouth noises, or at least

00:05:24 fewer mouth noises, so that it doesn't sound like Jaws 3

00:05:28 on fast forward.

00:05:29 Anyway, so-- so chapter 4 is unedited.

00:05:41 Really?

00:05:42 I suppose that's an error.

00:05:44 I thought he'd edited it.

00:05:45 It's all right.

00:05:45 I'll check on that.

00:05:46 So anyway, he sent me a file.

00:05:50 Now, there are these things on the internet--

00:05:53 you may have heard them called link sharing files.

00:05:55 And what's supposed to happen is you're supposed to get a link,

00:05:58 and then you're supposed to be able to click on it

00:06:01 and download it.

00:06:02 Have you ever heard of these phantasms?

00:06:05 Have you ever heard of these lies called file sharing?

00:06:08 So file sharing is interesting.

00:06:11 What it is is a mirage that draws you out in the desert

00:06:14 to die of thirst.

00:06:15 That is just-- yeah, WeTransfer.

00:06:18 There's-- what else have we got?

00:06:23 Dropbox.

00:06:24 There's a Microsoft one.

00:06:26 I can't remember what it's called.

00:06:29 Anyway, so he sent me a link.

00:06:32 And I'm like, I click on the link, and it says,

00:06:34 DNS error resolving something, something, something, right?

00:06:38 I'm like, oh, it's just-- you know, probably sent me

00:06:40 the wrong link.

00:06:41 So I sent it back to him, and he's like, no, the link works.

00:06:44 So I'm like, OK.

00:06:47 So I try it on a couple of different browsers.

00:06:50 I try it on two different computers.

00:06:52 Can't get the link to work.

00:06:53 DNS error.

00:06:54 He says, oh, the link works for me.

00:06:55 So I'm like, OK, well, great.

00:06:57 Domain name service.

00:06:58 Let's just go into the very bowels

00:07:00 of the naming of the internet, because I'm

00:07:02 sure that's going to be a journey that's going

00:07:03 to be really freaking productive.

00:07:05 You know, when you start seeing DNS errors,

00:07:07 well, what you need to do is open up your command window

00:07:10 using administrative privileges, and then do a DNS flush.

00:07:15 OK, I'd like to DNS flush this entire system down the toilet.

00:07:19 But so I do DNS flush, and you look up these things, right?

00:07:25 You look up these things.

00:07:26 Why?

00:07:27 You look up these things because you have no memory whatsoever.

00:07:30 Of all the times that you've said, it's a tech thing.

00:07:33 I get a kind of obscure error.

00:07:34 I'll just look it up, and there'll

00:07:36 be a simple, easy-peasy fix.

00:07:38 You know, there'll be some guy with a bizarre Eastern

00:07:41 European accent and nine subscribers

00:07:42 who will have solved this problem 12 years ago,

00:07:44 and miraculously, it will just work for me.

00:07:47 Just me now.

00:07:49 Anyway, so I check it on a tablet, right?

00:07:58 Perhaps a VPN would help.

00:08:00 Yeah, no question.

00:08:01 If things aren't working, add another layer.

00:08:04 That's absolutely-- you know, if you can't understand

00:08:06 a language, get somebody else who

00:08:08 doesn't understand that language to translate for you.

00:08:10 Also, if that person doesn't understand your language,

00:08:12 that's even better.

00:08:13 And that way, you can end up with the kind of language

00:08:15 that cast a spell in Madagascar 300 years ago.

00:08:18 Yes, absolutely.

00:08:20 Let's throw in a VPN variable.

00:08:22 That's going to make things so much better.

00:08:24 Oh, the help that's coming my way is not coming my way.

00:08:28 Anyway, so I check it on a tablet.

00:08:30 It was an iPad.

00:08:31 So the iPad is able to see the file.

00:08:34 So I'm like, oh, OK.

00:08:39 iPad can see it.

00:08:41 Three different browsers on three different computers

00:08:43 can't see it, but the iPad can see it.

00:08:46 So stuff sent through a Windows thing

00:08:48 can't be seen on a Windows computer, obviously.

00:08:50 But don't worry, because Steve Jobs' resurrected ghost

00:08:54 is able to put out its claw hands, frutopia, cancer, death

00:08:58 grip, and get the file.

00:09:01 Have you tried resetting your network cable?

00:09:04 I could try looping the network cable around someone

00:09:07 I work with and just seeing how strong it actually is.

00:09:10 But that might get me reported to HR.

00:09:16 Oh, wait, I am HR.

00:09:17 Oh, that should be fine.

00:09:18 That should be fine.

00:09:20 A VPN would most likely use a different DNS server.

00:09:22 It would probably help.

00:09:23 Except that I got it on a different operating system.

00:09:30 So then I'm like, OK, what should I do?

00:09:34 So then I try share, then link again.

00:09:36 Still doesn't work.

00:09:37 So iPad can see it, share it to Windows.

00:09:39 Doesn't work.

00:09:39 Then I say, OK, fine, fine.

00:09:43 I hate downloading things and re-uploading things.

00:09:45 That's just the whole point of a file sharing service

00:09:48 is you get the file, not you download it to a tablet,

00:09:51 then upload it somewhere else, and then maybe download it

00:09:54 again.

00:09:55 I just-- on principle, I hate that level of inefficiency.

00:09:59 I'm buying a Mac.

00:10:01 Yeah, that's right.

00:10:02 Because then I get the ultimate efficiency of never having

00:10:05 really used one before and learning how to do everything

00:10:07 all over again.

00:10:08 I shouldn't have to.

00:10:10 I shouldn't have to.

00:10:11 Anyway, so what happened was I finally

00:10:16 downloaded it to the iPad.

00:10:18 And then I'm like, no, on principle,

00:10:19 I will not upload it from the iPad to something else.

00:10:22 I just won't do it on principle.

00:10:25 Because it's just wrong.

00:10:26 Shouldn't have to.

00:10:27 So I'm like, OK, I'll just get it off the file--

00:10:30 get the file off the iPad.

00:10:32 Now, let me just ask you something out of curiosity.

00:10:36 Have you ever in your life tried to get a file that's

00:10:42 not a photo or a video?

00:10:45 Have you ever tried to get a file off an iPad to Windows?

00:10:50 I'm just curious.

00:10:52 Have you ever, ever tried that?

00:10:55 Well, let me tell you something.

00:10:57 If you had the choice between, say, resurrecting Tutankhamun

00:11:02 and teaching him how to do the moonwalk,

00:11:04 or getting a file off an iPad that's not a photo or a video,

00:11:10 I would choose the Tutankhamun route absolutely every time.

00:11:15 It's just insane.

00:11:17 But don't worry.

00:11:18 You can buy a third-party tool that I'm sure

00:11:20 is going to be completely virus-free that promises

00:11:22 to be able to extract everything from your iPad,

00:11:25 including your DNA, which has mysteriously ended up in there

00:11:28 because one time you used the fingerprint sensor.

00:11:30 So what you have to do is you have to boot up iTunes,

00:11:36 and then you have to plug in your iPad,

00:11:39 and then you have to share the file using iTunes.

00:11:42 It's just insanely convoluted and complicated,

00:11:46 and literally hell itself.

00:11:48 I would rather-- and this is the thing, right?

00:11:51 I would rather-- OK, hit me with a why.

00:11:55 No, no.

00:11:56 Give me a minus 10 to a plus 10 how bad or good at you

00:12:00 at these little hellscapes called escape rooms.

00:12:02 Have you ever tried that?

00:12:05 Minus 10 to plus 10, how bad or good

00:12:09 are you at these little hellscapes called escape

00:12:12 rooms?

00:12:13 Have you ever tried those?

00:12:15 Yeah, well, let me tell you.

00:12:17 Escape rooms, I feel somewhat smart

00:12:21 at various points in my life.

00:12:22 I get into an escape room, and I'm like, oh, damn.

00:12:27 This is what most people feel about everything.

00:12:30 If you've ever played a 10-year-old who themselves

00:12:32 have learned chess from the ground up from the age of three

00:12:35 onwards, you're like, damn, this is my moment of empathy.

00:12:38 I get it now.

00:12:42 Escape rooms make me feel like most people

00:12:46 feel about simple statements of moral philosophy.

00:12:49 I am not good at the-- you could honestly--

00:12:52 it's like, get out of this room or give me a kidney.

00:12:54 I'm like, you know what?

00:12:55 Give me a spoon.

00:12:56 I'll just take this kidney out.

00:12:57 I'm going to hand it to you, because I'm not even

00:12:58 going to try.

00:12:59 I'm not even going to bother.

00:13:00 And the good news is that nobody in my gene pool

00:13:03 is good at escape rooms.

00:13:04 It's not even a thing.

00:13:06 This is how I feel about improv today.

00:13:07 Yeah, improv can be a challenge.

00:13:09 Improv really works, or it doesn't.

00:13:12 So have you ever done the escape room where you get--

00:13:15 an escape room is you get into a room.

00:13:16 There's a bunch of clues, physical objects,

00:13:18 and you have to solve the puzzle.

00:13:20 And you get-- I got three calls.

00:13:22 And the first two calls were for clues.

00:13:25 And the third call was to put out

00:13:28 some sort of violent criminal activity

00:13:30 on the people who designed the escape room,

00:13:32 because they were not UPB compliant.

00:13:35 Let's put it that way.

00:13:35 The escape room actually violated

00:13:37 UPB in terms of frustration.

00:13:41 No, the only escape room that I was really, really interested

00:13:43 was my mother's womb.

00:13:45 Solved that one 57-plus years ago.

00:13:47 After that, it's just annoying.

00:13:49 So anyway, I just plug in the iPad, boot up iTunes.

00:13:54 And it's like, you love it.

00:13:59 You love it when Windows sees the iPad, but iTunes doesn't.

00:14:04 You know why that's particularly special?

00:14:06 Because Windows is not an Apple product, but iTunes is.

00:14:11 What that means is that Windows can see the iPad,

00:14:14 and I can get the files I don't need,

00:14:16 which is the videos and the photos.

00:14:19 But the actual application written by Apple

00:14:25 can't see the freaking iPad at all.

00:14:28 Just can't see it.

00:14:30 So then it's like, well, I should install iTunes

00:14:32 on another computer.

00:14:33 And I'm like, no, I shouldn't have to do any of this.

00:14:37 So I took a deep breath.

00:14:41 I took another deep breath.

00:14:42 I exploded.

00:14:45 Neighbors used spoons and spatulas

00:14:47 to sort of assemble me back together in my indifferent way.

00:14:50 And then what happened was--

00:14:53 do you have this with tech?

00:14:54 You're just like, OK, I know how to do it.

00:14:56 It's ridiculous.

00:14:57 It's inefficient.

00:14:57 It should never have to go this way.

00:14:59 Forget it.

00:15:00 I'm going to do it.

00:15:00 Forget it.

00:15:01 I'm going to do it.

00:15:02 I know it's stupid.

00:15:03 I know it's retarded.

00:15:04 I know it's inefficient.

00:15:05 Tech wins.

00:15:06 I lose.

00:15:07 Common sense, sanity, reality, any smidgen of reason

00:15:12 and efficiency, completely and totally--

00:15:15 and I just uploaded it.

00:15:16 I downloaded it to the iPad, uploaded it

00:15:19 to a file sharing service.

00:15:20 Now, of course, did I have any luck uploading it

00:15:22 for the first couple of times?

00:15:23 No, because apparently a file service

00:15:25 is a blank screen on an iPad with a little swirly that

00:15:28 goes on until about eight minutes past the end of time.

00:15:32 So that is just reality.

00:15:35 That is just reality.

00:15:37 Oh, my god.

00:15:39 Bill O'Reilly, "Eff it, we'll do it live!"

00:15:42 Yeah.

00:15:42 Now, here's the thing.

00:15:44 I've been working with computers since I was 11 years old.

00:15:46 That's a depressing number of decades ago, frankly.

00:15:52 I've been working with computers.

00:15:53 So I can find--

00:15:54 I can almost find a way.

00:15:55 Almost always I can find a way, right?

00:15:57 I did have a printing issue, but it turned out

00:16:02 that my wife had turned off the router that the printer is

00:16:06 connected to.

00:16:07 She didn't mean to.

00:16:08 She was just cleaning, helping, being efficient,

00:16:10 as she sometimes does.

00:16:12 When you worked in tech, was software this bad?

00:16:16 What has caused software to go bad?

00:16:19 Yes, software-- well, software wasn't too bad.

00:16:22 I do remember there was supposed to be file sharing

00:16:24 between notebooks and over-the-air file sharing,

00:16:28 or even cable-to-cable file sharing.

00:16:30 That never worked.

00:16:31 But no, stuff worked in the past.

00:16:33 Stuff worked in the past.

00:16:35 Yeah, I mean, things have gotten more complex.

00:16:38 And people have just gotten--

00:16:41 the programmers and the managers are just less intelligent.

00:16:46 Yeah, before internet updates, you

00:16:47 had to have stuff working before you shipped.

00:16:50 Yeah, yeah.

00:16:53 Got to love it, too.

00:16:55 You know, just a little tip for the Windows developers.

00:16:58 Let's say that the computer is currently

00:17:02 connected to the internet.

00:17:03 And people get radiation burns walking

00:17:05 between the router and the computer

00:17:07 because it's downloading or uploading

00:17:09 something so ferociously.

00:17:11 Like, you put your hand in between the router

00:17:13 and the computer, and you can see your bones

00:17:16 and the bones of your ancestors because it's uploading

00:17:19 or downloading that much.

00:17:20 If it's in the middle of a really, really important

00:17:22 upload and download, maximum bandwidth consumption,

00:17:25 maybe don't reboot.

00:17:26 You know, it's just a thought.

00:17:30 Like, you know how you don't change

00:17:31 the engine of an airplane when it's currently in flight?

00:17:35 Maybe don't reboot the computer when there's massive upload

00:17:38 or download activity.

00:17:40 It's-- I mean, it's just basic empathy, isn't it?

00:17:44 It's just basic, hey, I wonder if I would ever

00:17:46 appreciate not having a massively important upload

00:17:49 that I was leaving run overnight.

00:17:51 So yeah, I miss typewriters because at least they worked.

00:17:53 Yeah, it's crazy.

00:18:00 I honestly-- I think of the stuff

00:18:03 that I was programming like 30 years ago,

00:18:07 and I was very proud of it.

00:18:09 I think I did some fantastic stuff.

00:18:11 So that's what you get for using Windows.

00:18:13 Is it true that all the Apple people are this annoying?

00:18:20 I mean, it's a thing, right?

00:18:21 Like Apple fanboys, this is my--

00:18:24 I like to use Windows.

00:18:25 I'm going to use Windows.

00:18:28 It is, right?

00:18:30 In the insufferable personality competition, what have you got?

00:18:33 You've got people who ride bikes with spandex shorts.

00:18:41 They're pretty high up there.

00:18:42 Some of the Bitcoin maximalists can be pretty high up there.

00:18:48 The Apple fanboys are eminently punchable.

00:18:52 Again, I'm getting more and more asterisks to UPB

00:18:55 as I kind of get older.

00:18:57 You ride your bike in your Speedos?

00:18:59 That's right, the banana hammock.

00:19:02 Linux people, sorry, I mean, they're not insufferable

00:19:06 because they're too busy trying to install driver updates

00:19:08 without turning their computers into radioactive glowing piles

00:19:13 of things visible from space.

00:19:14 Yeah, there are a number of people that just kind of come

00:19:21 up and you're like, oh, brace yourself, man.

00:19:25 The annoyance factor is going to go through the roof.

00:19:29 So all right, I know we've done--

00:19:31 I've done 20 minutes of tech rants, but that was 10 years ago.

00:19:34 Now Linux is pretty user-friendly.

00:19:37 I get it.

00:19:39 What's your thoughts on Ryan Holiday, the daily stoic guy?

00:19:41 No, no, no.

00:19:43 Steph, swimmer wife taught me to swim a few years ago and I love it.

00:19:45 Which stroke event were you number seven in Ontario?

00:19:48 Well, it was freestyle, which basically means front crawl.

00:19:50 So yes, I was number seven in Ontario back in the day.

00:19:54 Oh, man, I was swimming twice a day.

00:19:56 I was on water polo team, swim team and all that.

00:19:58 I was Mr. Swim.

00:20:00 I was halfway to getting gills.

00:20:03 I enjoyed figuring out Daskamines when I was a kid.

00:20:05 Me too, actually.

00:20:06 I had a little business which was helping people with their computer issues.

00:20:11 And it's so funny, I went in to sell my services to one guy.

00:20:15 He couldn't get Windows to boot.

00:20:16 So I figured out the .ini file, took out what wasn't working,

00:20:19 got it to boot and got the contract right away.

00:20:23 All right.

00:20:25 Shall we get into it?

00:20:27 Shall we get into it?

00:20:28 I have lots of stuff to talk about.

00:20:30 Mostly what you guys want to talk about, of course.

00:20:34 I have a lot of interesting things, I think,

00:20:36 going on that are well worth velverth discussing.

00:20:41 But I'm here for you.

00:20:44 And it is your show, baby.

00:20:46 Your show.

00:20:48 All right.

00:20:49 Why?

00:20:50 Why?

00:20:55 Why?

00:20:56 Oh, my gosh.

00:20:58 Sorry, Windows is just being exciting, as it tends to be.

00:21:04 Loading this.

00:21:06 Oh, you need a newer version.

00:21:07 We don't support this one anymore.

00:21:09 Oh, excellent.

00:21:10 Oh, just delightful.

00:21:13 How about you take out the old stuff?

00:21:17 It's just a thought.

00:21:18 Just a thought.

00:21:21 There we go.

00:21:22 All right.

00:21:24 Oh, my gosh.

00:21:25 Just crazy.

00:21:26 All right, let me get to your comments.

00:21:29 All right.

00:21:31 So I did get a comment.

00:21:34 Why the suit, Steph?

00:21:36 The question is not why the suit.

00:21:38 The question is why never the suit?

00:21:39 Why not the suit?

00:21:41 Did you talk about the Israel situation?

00:21:43 I did not talk about the Israel situation.

00:21:45 I'm not particularly following it.

00:21:48 All right.

00:21:49 Just being honest.

00:21:55 It's fun to see you struggle with Windows after mocking me for suggesting Linux.

00:21:58 Hey, listen, I have no problem with you suggesting Linux.

00:22:01 That's not the issue.

00:22:03 The issue is, you know, and this is kind of half tongue in cheek, right?

00:22:07 The issue is when somebody is struggling in maximum frustration,

00:22:13 suggesting it is their own fault and they should just do something else,

00:22:16 which is also going to be maximum frustration, it's just kind of a douche

00:22:19 move.

00:22:19 It's just a bit of a douche move, you know?

00:22:22 Like if somebody can only afford, let's say they can only afford a used bike

00:22:26 and they have problems with their chains, you say, "Oh, I should just

00:22:28 bought a new bike."

00:22:29 You know, while they're struggling with their chain, it's just a little bit

00:22:31 of a douche move when somebody is struggling.

00:22:34 There may be time for it.

00:22:36 There may be a time for it, but it's just a tiny bit of a douche move.

00:22:42 Because here's the thing.

00:22:43 Like, so go to Linux.

00:22:45 Yeah, the just lose weight conversation.

00:22:47 This just use Linux thing, it's like, you understand, if you are someone

00:22:51 who says just use Linux, you're not a busy person because you have time

00:22:55 to learn Linux, which I think is great and it's wonderful.

00:22:57 And I loved back in the day when I had time, I mean, I installed OS2,

00:23:02 operating system 2 from IBM back in the day.

00:23:04 I loved learning new stuff.

00:23:07 And so if you say, "Hey, Steph, I mean, you're running a philosophy show,

00:23:13 you're parenting, you've got a social life that involves your kids and other

00:23:18 friends, and you know, you're writing a book and you're recording a book,

00:23:21 but you know what you should do is just learn, download, install,

00:23:26 and get a computer and learn an entirely new operating system."

00:23:29 That's just...it's just a bit of a douche move, if you don't mind me saying so.

00:23:34 So, yeah.

00:23:37 And enjoying someone's discomfiture and then feeling superior because,

00:23:40 "Well, you should just use Linux."

00:23:41 It's just...it's mildly punchable.

00:23:43 That's all.

00:23:44 I'm a Palm pilot.

00:23:45 Nice.

00:23:46 You know, all the pilots who use joysticks are our Palm pilots

00:23:49 when you think about it.

00:23:50 All right.

00:23:55 You know, it's like the guy cough.

00:23:56 "Hey, you ever think of quitting smoking?

00:23:58 You ever think you should quit smoking?

00:23:59 Maybe you shouldn't have started to begin with."

00:24:03 It's just a bit of a douche move, if you don't mind me saying so.

00:24:06 I could be wrong.

00:24:07 I could be wrong, but that's sort of how I experience it.

00:24:14 So, yeah, one simply does not have time for that.

00:24:17 Yeah, and honestly, I mean, I don't have too many tech frustrations,

00:24:20 mostly because I've just given up on anything complicated.

00:24:24 So, I don't really have too many tech frustrations every now and then,

00:24:28 like something like that.

00:24:30 It's like those couch potatoes saying what the multi-millionaire quarterback

00:24:34 should do.

00:24:34 And also, who's to know that it wouldn't have been a problem under Linux, right?

00:24:38 And who's to know that, I mean, Linux does have its own hiccups and problems

00:24:40 and challenges and all that stuff.

00:24:42 "You invest time now to save time later, but I don't want to nag."

00:24:49 Are you telling me, as an enormously successful entrepreneur of many decades,

00:24:54 that sometimes it's worth investing time now to save time later?

00:24:57 Is that your massive contribution to the conversation?

00:25:05 You know, Steph, sometimes it's good to invest time now because you know it

00:25:11 can save time later.

00:25:13 Oh, my gosh.

00:25:14 Is this what passes for wisdom in your social circles?

00:25:16 You might want to up your social circles a little bit.

00:25:24 I'm sorry.

00:25:29 Oh, my gosh.

00:25:31 Hey, hey, Steph, if you didn't want to get cancelled, maybe you shouldn't have

00:25:36 talked about controversial things.

00:25:40 Really?

00:25:41 That's really, really important to know these things.

00:25:52 Oh, my gosh.

00:25:53 Yeah, so, you know, when I do call-in shows, all I do is just mock people for

00:25:57 not doing sensible things.

00:25:58 You know, when you hear a call-in show, it's me just saying, "Well, maybe you

00:26:02 shouldn't have done that.

00:26:05 Why did you do that?

00:26:07 Your girlfriend should have just run on Linux."

00:26:09 I'm sorry.

00:26:12 I don't mean – I'm not laughing at you, honestly.

00:26:15 It's just kind of funny.

00:26:17 To me, when people just state the blindingly obvious as if it's adding value.

00:26:28 You know, if you're having trouble in business, you know, I mean business can

00:26:33 be a challenge, but as a business expert who charges $1,000 an hour, might I

00:26:37 suggest raising income and cutting costs?

00:26:42 May I suggest that?

00:26:43 Like just try and make more money and lower your expenses, and that is – and

00:26:48 try also at the same time, it can be very helpful to get more customers, and if

00:26:53 you get more customers without raising your expenses, you will end up higher

00:26:58 P to E ratios.

00:27:01 See, anybody who has never thought – this is the thing with that kind of

00:27:08 advice, and I say this in good humor and with positivity.

00:27:13 If you say to people, "You know, maybe you should invest time now to save time

00:27:17 later," anybody who's never thought of that is too dumb to talk to.

00:27:22 So it's – there's no audience that is suitable for that.

00:27:26 So somebody – let's say somebody's been relatively successful at the age of

00:27:30 57, just theoretically, and they've never thought that sometimes it's worth

00:27:34 investing time now to save time later, well, they've never been successful.

00:27:40 They don't even know how to get out of bed, and they just lie there, because

00:27:45 every time they're trying to get out of bed, they hit the wall, and they're

00:27:49 like, "Oh, I'm trapped.

00:27:50 I'm in solitary confinement."

00:27:51 So yeah, you really have to catch yourself from trying to state the blindingly

00:27:58 obvious to people and thinking that it's some massive value add.

00:28:04 It's going to drive good people away from you.

00:28:09 Like it really is going to drive good people away from you, because it's like,

00:28:13 "Why are you saying blindingly obvious things to me?

00:28:15 Do you think I'm a complete idiot?"

00:28:17 Anyway, it's just kind of funny, right?

00:28:22 So I mean I'm – you guys know how productive I am.

00:28:26 I mean I just did a whole show on productivity.

00:28:28 I mean does anybody here not know how incredibly productive I am that I do

00:28:32 these shows?

00:28:33 I'm still doing call-ins.

00:28:34 I'm writing a whole book.

00:28:36 I am doing the audio book.

00:28:40 I'm running the business.

00:28:42 You've got to keep track of the accounting and the taxes.

00:28:46 I have people I'm working with now who need time and resources and so on.

00:28:53 And I'm parenting.

00:28:54 I'm like I'm incredibly – I think I'm incredibly efficient.

00:28:58 I think I'm incredibly efficient and I really try to get as much done with

00:29:04 the productive time that I have.

00:29:07 And so then when people say, "Here's a completely obvious thing on how to be

00:29:13 more productive," I'm sorry.

00:29:16 You need to know how you look from the outside.

00:29:18 And I'm not trying to be humiliating and I'm not trying to be mean.

00:29:20 I'm just saying it's really, really important to know how you look from fairly

00:29:25 competent and efficient people.

00:29:27 All right.

00:29:29 Enough of that.

00:29:30 How about – are you guys at all interested – are you at all interested in

00:29:37 how to start a business?

00:29:41 Is that something would be a value to you?

00:29:45 Would it be a value to you to know the first steps in starting a business?

00:29:54 If you would find it helpful, if you could give me a tip, I would really

00:29:59 appreciate it.

00:30:00 We do actually have a new thing here, zinc.tips/freedomain, Z-I-N-K.

00:30:06 You can of course do it here, freedomain.locals.

00:30:08 If you're listening to this later, you can of course go to freedomain.com/donate.

00:30:12 Zinc.tips/freedomain, Z-I-N-K.tips/freedomain, zinc.tips/freedomain.

00:30:17 I'll put it here in the chat as well.

00:30:21 So post link – oh, I'm sorry.

00:30:24 Is that too much typing for you?

00:30:25 No, I'm kidding.

00:30:26 I want to make it as easy as possible.

00:30:28 All right.

00:30:29 So it does sound of value.

00:30:31 I've been watching stuff for years, YouTube, documentaries, novels, philosophy.

00:30:35 I've concluded there are actually two of them.

00:30:37 Is it a twin or a clone?

00:30:38 Yeah, all the mean stuff comes from – there's Wikipedia stuff and then there's

00:30:41 nice stuff.

00:30:44 All right.

00:30:46 Step one, be profitable.

00:30:47 Step two, come up with ideas.

00:30:48 We'll tip you within the week.

00:30:50 Good sir.

00:30:51 Thank you.

00:30:52 I appreciate that.

00:30:53 All right.

00:30:58 So here's a question and I want to of course make sure that I'm doing things of value

00:31:03 to you.

00:31:06 So let me ask you this.

00:31:08 Would this question be good for me to answer?

00:31:13 So this is a common thing as a whole.

00:31:16 How do you first price yourself?

00:31:19 Do you have that question?

00:31:20 OK.

00:31:21 I have a skill.

00:31:22 How do I first price myself?

00:31:25 Is that valuable for you?

00:31:28 How do you first price yourself?

00:31:29 You don't want to underprice.

00:31:30 You don't want to overprice.

00:31:33 Would you like to know?

00:31:34 And I'm not trying to be Mr. Big Tease here.

00:31:35 I mean, would you like to know how you can monetize your work and know that you're charging

00:31:43 the right amount?

00:31:45 OK.

00:31:46 So here's a question.

00:31:49 This is an update from someone and he says, "I'm now making montage videos and shorts

00:31:53 for clients.

00:31:54 How do I price my work?

00:31:56 How do I ask for more?

00:31:57 How do I know when I am overpricing?"

00:32:00 How do I price my work?

00:32:02 How do I ask for more?

00:32:03 How do I know when I'm overpricing?

00:32:05 Is that a helpful thing to learn?

00:32:07 I'll just put the question in here because it's a really important question.

00:32:10 All right.

00:32:12 So should we go and dig in?

00:32:14 It's going to blow your mind.

00:32:15 This is going to change your life.

00:32:17 I'm telling you straight up, if you are at all entrepreneurial, this is going to blow

00:32:20 your mind and it's going to change your life.

00:32:23 Are you ready?

00:32:24 Are you ready to know how you price yourself?

00:32:27 OK.

00:32:28 So let's take – thank you for the tips, my friends.

00:32:30 I appreciate that.

00:32:32 Dig straight, lightly set to change mode.

00:32:36 This is going to change your life so much that you're going to need to go back in time

00:32:39 and change your diaper.

00:32:41 It's that fantastic.

00:32:43 I would worry more about underpricing if you aren't sure.

00:32:45 But here's how you don't worry about any of it.

00:32:48 OK.

00:32:50 Is it OK – just hit me with a "why."

00:32:51 Is it OK if I use this guy's example of videos?

00:32:56 It could be anything but can you – is it OK if I do that?

00:33:01 Yeah, OK.

00:33:02 All right.

00:33:03 OK.

00:33:04 So here's how you do it.

00:33:05 So, the first thing you do is you do it for free.

00:33:09 Right?

00:33:11 First thing you do is you do it for free.

00:33:12 You find someone who needs it and you say, "I'll do it for free."

00:33:15 Now, what you do when you do it for free is you say, "I'll do it for free but I'm

00:33:21 going to need to know how successful it is."

00:33:24 Right?

00:33:25 I'm going to need to know how successful it is.

00:33:28 So some of it you may know if you put a video for someone out there in the public you can

00:33:32 track the views and so on.

00:33:34 So say, "OK, how did your last video do?

00:33:36 Oh, it did 10,000 views."

00:33:39 OK.

00:33:40 So I'm going to build you a video and let's say that the video does 40,000 views because

00:33:45 you just did a great job with the video.

00:33:46 So they're getting four times the traffic that they got when they were doing it in-house.

00:33:52 When you do it, you 4X the views.

00:33:57 Are you with me so far?

00:33:59 I want to make sure this is as clear as humanly possible.

00:34:03 So you do it for free and in return you track the metrics.

00:34:06 Again, some of those metrics might be public, maybe it's a private email or something and

00:34:10 you say, "Hey, I'll give it to you for free but I need the metrics."

00:34:14 In return, you just have to give me the metrics.

00:34:16 You can scrub it.

00:34:18 I just need to know the numbers.

00:34:20 So let's say you help someone with a newsletter and you say, "OK, normally I get 5% open

00:34:26 or 20% open or something so I'm going to help you with the newsletter, the graphics, the

00:34:30 text, the language, whatever and I need to know how much things have improved based on

00:34:38 what I do."

00:34:39 Right?

00:34:40 Now, do you know why you would do free work in return for metrics?

00:34:49 Why do you do free work in return for metrics?

00:34:58 Testes?

00:34:59 Balls?

00:35:00 I don't know.

00:35:01 To let you know if you're any good at it?

00:35:05 No.

00:35:06 Yeah.

00:35:10 So what you're making a business case for your services, right?

00:35:13 So if you say, "I've done this," well, you don't have to tell potential clients and then

00:35:17 you will say to people, let's say you take someone's video views from 10,000 to 40,000,

00:35:23 you'd say, "OK, what's that worth on average?"

00:35:26 Right?

00:35:27 Because let's say that they get a 5% conversion rate from every extra 10,000, right?

00:35:31 So every 10,000 gives them 500 new people and maybe of those 10% or 50 buy something

00:35:37 or something like that.

00:35:38 So what you're doing is you're building a business case.

00:35:42 This guy made $500 on his video before I came along.

00:35:48 Afterwards, I 4X'd his views so he made $2,000 going forward, right?

00:35:56 So then maybe you say, "OK, so I made him $1,500 extra by doing his video.

00:36:05 It took me five hours to do his video.

00:36:09 He made $1,500 extra.

00:36:11 He paid me $100 an hour.

00:36:13 I charged $500 but he made $1,000."

00:36:16 Does that make sense?

00:36:18 You're making a business case for what it is that you're doing.

00:36:24 So if you're a website, hit me with a why.

00:36:26 Do you build websites?

00:36:27 Are you an HTML guy or a CSS guy or a Java guy or whatever the heck they're using these

00:36:33 days?

00:36:34 WordPress a lot.

00:36:35 OK.

00:36:36 So what you do is you say, "What was the traffic for the last six months?"

00:36:40 And then you offer a free upgrade and then you say, "What was the traffic afterwards?"

00:36:46 And how much is that traffic worth for you?

00:36:50 So let's say you double the traffic, double the income, and that's in perpetuity unlike

00:36:54 a sort of one-shot thing like maybe a video or a newsletter, a website upgrade.

00:36:59 So you say, "OK, I've doubled your – it works better on mobile.

00:37:06 I've doubled your conversion rates.

00:37:07 I've doubled your visits."

00:37:08 And you include that.

00:37:10 You obviously scrub it anonymous and you show, "Here's when I built the website."

00:37:16 Boom, look at that.

00:37:17 Double the income.

00:37:18 Double the websites translates to double the income.

00:37:21 They made an extra three grand a month in perpetuity.

00:37:24 I only charged them five grand so it paid for itself in a month and three weeks.

00:37:32 So tell me if this – you do stuff for free in return for the metrics that give you the

00:37:37 business case so that you can tell people, "Listen, nobody wants to pay you, right?

00:37:45 And you don't want to pay anyone.

00:37:47 Nobody wants to pay you.

00:37:49 What do they want from you?

00:37:51 They don't want to pay you.

00:37:52 They don't want to give you money.

00:37:53 What do they want?

00:37:54 What are you bringing to the table as an entrepreneur?

00:37:57 What do they want from you?"

00:38:00 They want you to give them money.

00:38:02 You understand?

00:38:03 You don't give money to your investment guy because you want him to buy a new car,

00:38:08 right?

00:38:09 They want you to give them money, right?

00:38:13 So they give you 500 bucks and you give them back $2,000, right?

00:38:18 They want you to give them money.

00:38:20 Now if you're thinking in terms of income, you're thinking entirely the wrong way as

00:38:24 an entrepreneur.

00:38:25 The purpose of you as an entrepreneur is not to make money for yourself but to make money

00:38:29 for who?

00:38:30 Who are you making money for?

00:38:32 Who are you in the business of giving money to?

00:38:35 Right.

00:38:38 So the reason why people have a tough time asking for more is because they haven't quantified

00:38:43 the value they're providing.

00:38:45 Does this make sense?

00:38:47 You feel like you're asking more and that is a subtraction from the client.

00:38:54 "Oh, it used to be 500.

00:38:57 Now it's 750 bucks.

00:38:59 So you have to give me 250 bucks more," and it's like, "Nope."

00:39:03 That's not how to think of it.

00:39:05 You're not taking a 250 bucks extra.

00:39:08 You are providing $1,000 worth of value extra and you're only keeping a quarter of that

00:39:17 because we're not used to being consumers, right?

00:39:19 We're used to being victims, right?

00:39:20 We can grow up in school and they set the curricula and they set the time and the schedule

00:39:24 no matter what you're concentrating.

00:39:25 You get a stupid bell and you're going to go somewhere else.

00:39:29 So we're just not used to living in a situation where other people are providing value to

00:39:37 that, right?

00:39:39 How do you provide that with writing and publishing?

00:39:44 I don't understand.

00:39:49 I don't understand the question.

00:39:51 I'm talking about the value.

00:39:53 You do work for free in return for metrics that allow you to price what you're doing

00:39:57 with a strong business case.

00:40:00 I don't know why that would be different with writing and publishing.

00:40:03 Help me understand why this principle would not apply to writing and publishing.

00:40:09 I'm certainly happy to hear, but I don't understand why this general principle wouldn't

00:40:13 rack.

00:40:15 Somebody says, "I do run into exactly that problem when I have to value my engineering

00:40:20 services.

00:40:21 The metrics are not as transparent, but the same business principles apply."

00:40:28 What about for big ticket items?

00:40:29 How do you think you would handle it?

00:40:30 Let them try the product.

00:40:32 If they don't like it, they can return it.

00:40:35 No.

00:40:36 No, because it's not about them liking the product.

00:40:40 Now what you can do is you can say, "Listen, I'll upgrade your website and you pay me $5,000

00:40:49 to upgrade your website.

00:40:50 If I don't double your traffic within three months, I'll give you your money back."

00:41:04 I say this, you see me do this.

00:41:09 Sometimes I'll say, "If I can prove this case, will you donate?"

00:41:11 And people say yes, and then they donate usually.

00:41:18 Somebody says, "I've been told the value of an employee is 50% of what they bring in value

00:41:23 or saving costs as wages.

00:41:26 So does that apply as a service provider?"

00:41:29 What is the difference between an employee and a service provider?

00:41:35 I don't understand what the difference is.

00:41:37 Does an employee not provide services to his boss or the company?

00:41:40 Yeah, lawyers advertise all the time that they don't charge unless they win your case.

00:41:44 Yeah.

00:41:45 So the case is on settlement, right?

00:41:52 Would you like an analogy that makes this blindingly clear?

00:41:56 Here's an analogy that will make this blindingly clear.

00:42:00 How do I know this?

00:42:02 I know this because I was an actor.

00:42:05 Boy, and if you want to -- how do you price yourself as an actor?

00:42:10 How do you price yourself as an actor?

00:42:12 Some actors make ridiculous amounts of money, make $20 million a movie, right?

00:42:16 How do you price yourself as an actor?

00:42:21 Well, what does every actor do at the beginning, right?

00:42:29 What does every actor do when they're starting out?

00:42:32 Every actor, every comedian, every musician, what do they do?

00:42:36 They work for free, absolutely.

00:42:37 They absolutely -- yeah, and they do auditions.

00:42:40 Even before you get to auditions, actors, musicians, artists, philosophers, we work

00:42:45 for free, right?

00:42:48 We work for free.

00:42:50 And you gauge the value you have to the audience.

00:42:55 Now, you also get reviews even when you're doing amateur stuff, local stuff, or whatever,

00:43:05 right?

00:43:06 You work for free.

00:43:07 And you're building a business case.

00:43:11 You're building a business case as to why people should pay you.

00:43:15 I mean, I worked in this show for like a year or two before I took any donations.

00:43:19 I worked for free.

00:43:22 I took donations which helped me to gauge how valuable what it is I was doing.

00:43:29 So actors work for free.

00:43:30 And then you try to get some -- I worked as an actor for free, I mean, all the way from

00:43:35 high school onwards.

00:43:37 I studied acting and paid for it.

00:43:40 And I also worked as an extra in movies.

00:43:43 Now, as an extra in movies, you get paid a little bit.

00:43:46 And there was actually a movie, I've never really looked for it, it was about Tecumseh,

00:43:50 who was an indigenous leader in Canada.

00:43:55 And oh, no, there were two.

00:43:57 I was in the movie "Cain and Abel," and they zoomed in on my face in the crowd because

00:44:01 I was doing something that was like really cool, I guess.

00:44:04 I was like really cheering and really going for it and really -- so they zoomed in on

00:44:07 me in the crowd.

00:44:09 And I was in a music video, I was the first guy carrying the singer in.

00:44:12 I've never been able to find that one again because I can't remember the name of the band.

00:44:16 So I did that stuff and then I worked as an extra and I just got paid very little.

00:44:22 But you're seeing, are people interested in what you're doing, and so on, right?

00:44:29 So then at some point, you get a line, and Brad Pitt was real pushy.

00:44:35 Brad Pitt, when he was -- you don't have to be in the union, actor or whatever it is,

00:44:40 you don't have to be in the actor's union if you don't have any lines, right, which

00:44:43 is why extras are just faces in the crowd.

00:44:45 And he was supposed to be a waiter just bringing something and then he spoke a line and the

00:44:48 director said, "Do that again and you're fired," right, because he just wanted to speak a line,

00:44:54 right?

00:44:55 Yeah, the movie was -- I guess it was a movie in the '80s called "Cain and Abel."

00:44:58 I think it was a made-for-TV movie and I was in a mob and they zoomed in on my face because

00:45:03 I was doing some acting, don't you know?

00:45:07 So then what happens is you figure out what kind of demand there is for you and you try

00:45:13 to build a reputation so that people will come to see you.

00:45:21 So if Brad Pitt is in a movie, there's a guaranteed audience.

00:45:25 You know that, right?

00:45:29 I remember talking to a music producer who was telling me about Ringo Starr put out a

00:45:36 new album, right?

00:45:37 And he's like -- I'm like, "Ringo Starr?

00:45:39 The Beatles drummer guy?"

00:45:41 And he's like, "Yeah, but you wouldn't believe it."

00:45:43 I think he said here in Canada, if I remember the numbers right, he said, "You will always

00:45:47 sell at least 10,000 Ringo Starr albums," right?

00:45:51 Guaranteed.

00:45:52 And listen, hit me up.

00:45:55 Hit me up.

00:45:56 Who is an actor, if they're in a movie, you're in?

00:45:59 They come out with a movie and you're in.

00:46:02 It's Cain and Abel.

00:46:03 It's K-A-N-E, I think it was.

00:46:06 Who is your go-to actor?

00:46:08 Daniel Day-Lewis.

00:46:09 Well, he's retired, right?

00:46:11 But yeah, okay.

00:46:12 But if somebody says, "Let's watch a Daniel Day-Lewis movie," I mean, obviously if it's

00:46:16 Room with a View, you're in.

00:46:17 If not, who cares, right?

00:46:20 So Daniel Day-Lewis, Jack Nicholson, Matt Damon, Tom Cruise, right.

00:46:28 Sean Connery.

00:46:29 Sean Connery.

00:46:30 I'm a simple woman.

00:46:32 I see Benedict Cumberbatch and I go...

00:46:37 Nice.

00:46:38 Nice.

00:46:39 Denzel Washington, great presence.

00:46:41 Harrison Ford, yeah.

00:46:43 He's very funny.

00:46:44 You see him in...oh gosh, who's that gay British guy who does the talk show?

00:46:52 Him and Ryan Reynolds...sorry, him and Ryan Gosling doing promo for the Blade Runner 2.

00:46:59 Graham Norton.

00:47:00 It's just hilarious because, I mean, Harrison Ford is pretending to forget Ryan Gosling's

00:47:06 name the whole time.

00:47:07 Idris Elba, I don't know him.

00:47:09 Is that a black actor?

00:47:10 I don't remember him.

00:47:11 Clint Eastwood, yeah.

00:47:12 Robert De Niro.

00:47:13 The movie that came out of DiCaprio and Titanic was great.

00:47:15 That was one of the most depressing movies ever made.

00:47:18 Why are women like that?

00:47:20 All right, I did get married to a guy and have multi-generational children and an extended

00:47:24 family, but this homeless guy who banged me and died, I'm going to dream about him for

00:47:29 the rest of my life.

00:47:30 John Cleese, Edward Norton.

00:47:31 Yeah, but it's been a long time since he made anything that I remember.

00:47:37 I watched a few minutes of him playing some stuttering crime guy and it was just like,

00:47:41 "Oh, terrible."

00:47:42 Edward Norton in his prime was fantastic.

00:47:44 Absolutely.

00:47:45 Quite tough to work with I hear, though.

00:47:49 Okay, so you've got that and everybody has these things.

00:47:53 And some people, there's more sort of side things that people do.

00:47:58 That guy who played Joker, Heath Ledger?

00:48:00 Well, of course, so many people have played Joker, right?

00:48:05 And Joaquin Phoenix?

00:48:08 Yeah.

00:48:09 I mean, he's coming out with Napoleon, right?

00:48:11 He's coming out as Napoleon, so that's going to be "enteresting," I'm sure.

00:48:18 He's River's brother, right?

00:48:20 The guy who died at the Viper Club?

00:48:23 So okay, so there's actors who you will go and see for sure.

00:48:29 So do you know what?

00:48:33 The two great values that an actor who's got an audience, an actor who's got fans, what

00:48:40 are the two values that they bring?

00:48:43 Number one is they will bring asses in the seats, right?

00:48:47 That's number one.

00:48:48 Do you know what the other one is that they bring to the table?

00:48:51 Other than obviously their skill and blah, blah, blah.

00:48:53 What is it, the actual business case that they bring to the table?

00:49:03 They choose good movies to work with?

00:49:05 Yeah, for sure.

00:49:06 Investor interest, that certainly helps, but I'm talking about after the movie is made.

00:49:10 Yeah, I mean, everybody's going to talk to them, right?

00:49:15 No, not box office sales.

00:49:17 Everyone's going to -- so they get free advertising.

00:49:19 So this is why when you hire on to do a movie, you will also hire on to do a press tour,

00:49:26 right?

00:49:27 Because word of mouth isn't going to sell a big movie.

00:49:30 So what you need to do is if you're Brad Pitt or Matt Damon or whatever, you say, "Okay,

00:49:35 I'm going to spend three months doing interviews."

00:49:39 And through those interviews, you gain visibility for the movie because standing out in a crowd

00:49:45 of the movie scene is really, really tough, right?

00:49:49 So there's a quality filter because they have a brand to protect.

00:49:52 There is free marketing.

00:49:55 Marketing is really key.

00:49:56 Like you often will spend as much marketing a movie as you will making a movie.

00:49:59 And actors have baked in because everybody wants to see them and talk to them.

00:50:03 And when Once Upon a Time in Hollywood came out and Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio, I

00:50:10 mean, who's not going to want to interview those guys?

00:50:12 And there's so many fan -- people who want to watch those guys that you automatically

00:50:16 hear about the movie, right?

00:50:17 Does this sort of make sense?

00:50:19 So how much can they charge for a movie?

00:50:22 Well, they started working for free.

00:50:24 They built up their credibility over time.

00:50:26 They built up the business case.

00:50:27 And their agents in general will make the business case.

00:50:34 As to why -- like, do you know the number one guy for return on investment for movies?

00:50:37 Do you know the actor who has the highest return for his salary for movies?

00:50:42 This has actually been -- at least it was a couple of years ago.

00:50:44 It may have changed.

00:50:45 No, it's not The Rock.

00:50:47 It's not Tom Cruise because he does fairly trashy stuff like Jack Reacher.

00:50:54 Arnold Travolta?

00:50:55 No.

00:50:57 I was a bit surprised too, but it's actually -- right, right?

00:50:59 RDJ?

00:51:00 I don't know who that is.

00:51:01 Brad Pitt?

00:51:02 No, it's Matt Damon.

00:51:03 Matt Damon is the biggest return on investment for an actor that you can make.

00:51:10 And so -- no, not Robert Downey Jr. for sure.

00:51:13 But yeah, he is the biggest -- you found Stephen Cain in Able.

00:51:17 Oh, you found me?

00:51:19 One hour 2440 at the end of part three.

00:51:22 Wow.

00:51:23 Good for you.

00:51:24 Good for you.

00:51:25 Would it be wrong to say that marketing and advertising is the best way to get a higher

00:51:29 price or more sales for art?

00:51:32 No.

00:51:33 No.

00:51:34 No.

00:51:35 The best way to sell your stuff at a higher price is to make a business case.

00:51:42 Is to make a business case.

00:51:44 Yes, but Matt Damon is a good actor, but Matt Damon is a complete flaming trash heap of

00:51:50 an amoral human being because he went after Kavanaugh real hard on those rape allegations.

00:51:56 You know, he did a whole, "Oh, he's so funny.

00:51:58 Kavanaugh with creepy calendars like some SNL crap."

00:52:01 I mean, he is just a flaming trash heap of an amoral human being.

00:52:07 So yeah, post the link and I'll put it in.

00:52:11 So yeah, actors are -- well, actors are slaves to the machinery, right?

00:52:15 Hollywood is mostly woke and you have to be really, really, really good at bringing in

00:52:21 an audience in order to not be a slave to the woke mob, the woke hive mind.

00:52:27 And it's so funny because Matt Damon, you know, a lot of times plays guys who fight

00:52:33 evildoers with their strength, courage, and resolution and then he just ends up doing

00:52:40 all of this kind of trash and garbage and all of that, right?

00:52:46 Steph stumped Vosh asking why Pitt makes multiple times what the sound guy in the movie makes.

00:52:50 Yeah, post-socialism should make the same, same labor.

00:52:54 I mean, if you -- did you hit me with a why if you ever saw the Michael Keaton Batman

00:52:58 with Jack Nicholson as the Joker?

00:53:00 Did you ever -- you ever see that?

00:53:04 So yeah, Jack Nicholson got paid $5 million for a couple of days' work and it was similar

00:53:09 to when the Superman, the original Superman, the really good Superman with Christopher

00:53:14 Reeves and Gene Hackman came out.

00:53:18 Christopher Reeves, they wanted Marlon Brando to play Jor-El.

00:53:24 I can't believe I still remember that name.

00:53:27 And he was paid like a million dollars and he had like eight minutes of screen time.

00:53:31 This of course was post-The Godfather and all of that.

00:53:35 And I remember of course I didn't appreciate Brando as an actor when I was younger because

00:53:39 I loved the movie Superman and I just found him kind of dull and boring, not particularly

00:53:43 interesting.

00:53:44 And I even remember watching On the Waterfront because everyone told me what a great film

00:53:47 acting it was.

00:53:48 I didn't get it until later on in life just how -- what a great actor he was, although

00:53:53 again pretty much a monster of a human being.

00:53:56 He married a woman so drunk, so bad that Christian Brando, his son, was -- she tried to kill

00:54:03 herself, he found the body, she was relentlessly drunk.

00:54:06 She actually tried to hurt Marlon Brando by paying a bunch of hippies to kidnap him and

00:54:10 drive him deep into the wastelands of Mexico and it was just a mess.

00:54:16 I'm going to actually have a quick look at this because I'll probably forget about it

00:54:20 otherwise.

00:54:21 But somebody found me.

00:54:23 I've been found, our life has been found.

00:54:31 Yeah, there I am.

00:54:35 Look at that, look at that acting, Cain and Abel.

00:54:39 Look at that.

00:54:40 Did anyone find me?

00:54:41 No.

00:54:42 Yeah, so there it is.

00:54:43 Boy, what a fresh-faced young fellow I was back in the day.

00:54:48 Did anyone know what year that was?

00:54:51 Always liked Paul Newman.

00:54:52 I hope he was an okay human.

00:54:53 Yeah, seems to be, seems to be.

00:54:55 1985.

00:54:56 Okay, yeah, so I was 19 at that point.

00:55:00 And I met a guy, I became friends with a guy I met that day who was so much in debt that

00:55:05 you had to phone him and there was a whole complicated thing he made you memorize.

00:55:09 He was so in debt that you had to phone him, let it ring twice, call back, let it ring

00:55:13 three times, then call him back and he would pick up after the fourth ring.

00:55:17 Like it was something like some really complicated thing so he could avoid his creditors.

00:55:20 It's pretty funny.

00:55:23 We went around picking up girls back in the day.

00:55:26 So that's funny.

00:55:27 Yeah, and I remember they zoomed in on me and I thought, "I'm going to be a star.

00:55:32 Look at that.

00:55:33 I'm facing a crowd and they find me."

00:55:34 I looked pretty damn fine too.

00:55:37 I'm just telling you, I looked pretty damn fine.

00:55:39 Well, thank you for finding that.

00:55:40 I have no idea.

00:55:41 Tell me, what voodoo did you use to find me that quickly?

00:55:46 That's insane.

00:55:47 How on earth did you find me?

00:55:49 Like I put the call out and you like AI scan for like chiseled cheekbone young Steph.

00:55:54 My gosh, you are a star, just not of the Hollywood variety.

00:55:59 Well, boy, you listen to Mel Gibson talk about Hollywood and it's like, "I thank my lucky

00:56:06 stars and the beatific Zeus above that I did not gain any success in that world."

00:56:13 Holy crap.

00:56:17 That's the slavery on steroids and the worst kind of slavery.

00:56:20 I don't know how people live with themselves.

00:56:22 Just scrub through it looking for a crowd scene.

00:56:24 Well, aren't you OCD productive?

00:56:27 Beautiful, beautiful.

00:56:28 Yeah, Gibson is a great actor.

00:56:32 Yes, he absolutely is.

00:56:33 All the way from Chicken Run to Hamlet, man, that's quite a spread.

00:56:36 That's quite a spread and a brave guy in many ways.

00:56:41 So actors, how do you pay Brad Pitt $20 million because you say, "Look, guaranteed audience,

00:56:50 guaranteed return, guaranteed advertising, free marketing."

00:56:54 So you can either pay Brad Pitt $20 million or you can pay some other actor a million

00:56:58 dollars and spend $30 million trying to get the word out and people are going to be indifferent.

00:57:02 Oh, and also if you don't hire Brad Pitt, somebody else is going to hire him, the movie

00:57:06 is going to come out at the same time and you'll be competing with Brad Pitt.

00:57:09 So yeah, I mean this is how you figure it out.

00:57:15 So you're not asking for money.

00:57:19 You're offering money.

00:57:22 I mean if you go up and down the street and you say to people, "Here's $20," and people

00:57:26 are like, "Whoa, don't try and rip me off.

00:57:29 Whoa, that's – no, I don't want that $20."

00:57:33 You understand?

00:57:34 Would you be offended if you offered someone $20 and they said no and they recoiled?

00:57:39 Does that make sense?

00:57:40 Like would you be – if you're trying to give people money and they get upset, are

00:57:47 you offended or do you like, "Okay, well, I guess you don't want free money.

00:57:51 All right.

00:57:52 I'll move on," right?

00:57:55 Does that make sense?

00:57:56 Like you're – I'm – like with this show, right, so I'm getting some tips here

00:58:00 and you know how valuable this stuff is, right?

00:58:02 This is going to change your life.

00:58:03 You're not trying to get paid.

00:58:05 You're trying to give people money.

00:58:07 You're trying to give people money.

00:58:11 I'm trying to give you happiness.

00:58:14 I'm trying to give you – like I'm trying to give you stuff.

00:58:19 Brad Pitt isn't taking $20 million.

00:58:21 He's not charging $20 million.

00:58:23 He's offering $50 million worth of value for only $20 million.

00:58:28 Do you follow?

00:58:30 You have to be confident in the value you're providing and then you're not asking for

00:58:36 money.

00:58:37 You're offering money.

00:58:38 You have to be confident.

00:58:39 How do you become confident in the value that you provide?

00:58:42 Well, you work for free and you get the metrics.

00:58:44 Do you follow?

00:58:47 You're not asking for salary.

00:58:48 You're offering value.

00:58:52 Every place I joined I doubled or more the revenue.

00:59:00 I'm not talking out of my armpit here.

00:59:01 Like this is real world stuff.

00:59:04 I've been an entrepreneur since I was in my 20s, right?

00:59:07 I have 30 years of doing this.

00:59:13 Every company I joined I at least doubled the revenue.

00:59:18 That's why they could never decide whether to put me in technology where I would double

00:59:22 the revenue by putting out great products or in marketing where I would double the revenue

00:59:25 by making a great business case.

00:59:31 Like one place I joined they were having trouble getting to larger corporations and so what

00:59:36 I did was I wrote a whole program that pulled publicly -- well, it wasn't publicly.

00:59:40 You had to pay for the data.

00:59:41 Pulled their profits and their costs and our product had metrics about how it was going

00:59:47 to improve their profits and so we said -- it was like 500 letters were generated telling

00:59:54 people exactly how much they were going to save by using our product.

01:00:01 I want to give you money.

01:00:03 I want to give you free money.

01:00:06 Somebody says, "Hey, Steph, just donated for that fantastic live call-in show recently."

01:00:09 Oh, thanks.

01:00:10 I appreciate that.

01:00:11 I appreciate that.

01:00:12 Thank you.

01:00:13 That's very kind.

01:00:19 Now of course offering somebody a benefit -- sorry, what are the key points in making

01:00:26 a business case for something like a painting or jewelry?

01:00:31 All right.

01:00:35 Help me with a why if you would like the key points in making a business case for something

01:00:38 like painting or jewelry.

01:00:42 Yeah?

01:00:45 Because you would say, "Well, gosh, you know, it's not like you necessarily are going to

01:00:48 make money from that."

01:00:49 All right.

01:00:55 So we spend money all the time for happiness, for beauty.

01:01:00 I mean women obviously spend money to make themselves beautiful.

01:01:03 Women will get heels to make themselves a little taller and they will get face scrubs

01:01:08 and cleans and lotions and we put deodorant on to make ourselves more attractive.

01:01:12 So we're spending all money for beauty because beauty can bring attraction.

01:01:16 Attraction can bring love.

01:01:17 Love can bring happiness and that pep and step that you have when you feel attractive

01:01:22 is worth its weight in gold.

01:01:25 So what are jewelry and paintings about?

01:01:27 They're about beauty.

01:01:30 But if you can combine just beauty with profit or at least maintaining your value, so much

01:01:37 the better.

01:01:38 So jewelry, are people always going to have a need for jewelry?

01:01:41 Yes.

01:01:42 We know from the most primitive tribes to the most sophisticated people, debutantes

01:01:46 in the world, people love their jewelry.

01:01:48 I mean those African tribes with the hoop necks and so on.

01:01:51 Everybody loves jewelry and so jewelry is always going to have its value.

01:01:54 So not only does it bring you beauty, which is our soul's thirst and what we basically

01:01:59 live for, it brings you beauty, it also retains its value.

01:02:03 And you really can't do much better than that in life, than having something that elevates

01:02:07 your soul by bringing beauty to your life and maintains or increases its value over

01:02:12 time because there's always going to be a demand for it.

01:02:15 It's the same thing with a painting.

01:02:17 A beautiful painting can soothe you, it can calm you, it can actually have great health

01:02:21 benefits because it soothes and calms you, lowers your blood pressure, lowers your stress

01:02:24 levels, lowers your cortisol, makes you happy.

01:02:26 It's a window into something wonderful that you can look at.

01:02:29 You don't have to wait for the curtains to be open or for the right light to hit the

01:02:32 trees.

01:02:33 You can just look at this thing and it's beautiful.

01:02:36 It elevates your soul, it elevates your spirit, it calms your body, it helps keep you healthy

01:02:40 and it's a great store of value.

01:02:43 So if you look at a woman's makeup, what does she do?

01:02:44 She buys a lipstick, she uses it for beauty and it vanishes, right?

01:02:48 She just whittles it down, rubbing it on her lips and it goes.

01:02:51 So that brings beauty and vanishes.

01:02:55 But jewelry and paintings bring beauty, stay and usually increase in value or at the very

01:03:02 least maintain their value, particularly relative to inflation.

01:03:07 Like you wouldn't want to buy a painting that was a watercolor and hang it outside in the

01:03:11 rain because the rain would hit it and it would all just kind of wash down.

01:03:14 And whatever you buy is going to, like if you just have the money straight, it's going

01:03:18 to sit under your mattress and it's just going to lose value.

01:03:23 5%, 10% a year, it's just going to vanish.

01:03:26 It's evaporating, it's an evaporating asset.

01:03:28 So even if all that the jewelry and the painting does is keep its value relative to inflation,

01:03:36 it's doing better than your cash by 5 to 10% a year or more.

01:03:44 So you absolutely need to look into these things because our soul is thirst for beauty.

01:03:51 We love beauty but this is one of the few assets that you can buy that not only brings

01:03:55 beauty to your soul but protects your money over time in a way that almost nothing else

01:04:01 will.

01:04:02 I mean, you know, here's a funny thing.

01:04:03 We look at art from hundreds of thousands of years ago, it's still worth a lot even

01:04:08 though it may have faded.

01:04:10 Think of how much somebody would pay for Tutankhamun's necklaces or bracelets.

01:04:15 You understand these are virtually priceless at this point which means that over thousands

01:04:19 and thousands of years they've gained massively in value.

01:04:22 Now, if you go back to ancient Egypt and you say, "Well, what coins were they using?"

01:04:27 Or what if heaven forbid somebody was using paper notes, right?

01:04:31 The continental paper notes or the assignats from France.

01:04:35 Go back hundreds of years or even decades if you look at Zimbabwe and their sort of

01:04:39 billion dollar note.

01:04:41 Look at what's happened to all the paper which is your currency, your money.

01:04:44 All that paper, all that currency is worthless now again unless it's like jewelry, unless

01:04:48 it's gold, unless it's a collector's item.

01:04:51 All that money has vanished and faded.

01:04:53 All the lipstick, all of the face paint, all of the hair dyes, all of that has gone, vanished

01:04:58 into nothing but what has maintained its value and grown enormously is their art and their

01:05:06 jewelry.

01:05:09 Thousands of years everything that they had of value is gone.

01:05:12 Citizenship, value, gone.

01:05:15 Makeup, gone.

01:05:17 Books, gone to dust.

01:05:19 What has maintained its value?

01:05:21 Their art and their jewelry.

01:05:24 When you really can't do better than that, than having great beauty and maintenance or

01:05:31 increase in value, tell me a better place to put your money.

01:05:35 I'd love to hear it.

01:05:36 This is obviously just off the top of my head but does that make sense?

01:05:44 A lot of modern art though, some say Pollock made millions selling paints, bladders and

01:05:47 stripes.

01:05:48 Yeah, the statues too for sure.

01:05:52 But the modern art is, first of all it serves the revolution by decaying our sense of beauty

01:05:57 but secondly you know that how modern art works is it's largely a tax dodge.

01:06:04 You don't want it to be hard to do because it's a tax dodge.

01:06:09 It's a way of money laundering and reducing your taxes and all of that.

01:06:14 So what happens is some piece of crap art gets, somebody evaluates it for half a million

01:06:20 dollars.

01:06:21 You buy it cheap, somebody evaluates it half a million dollars and then you donate it to

01:06:25 a charity and you say it's worth half a million dollars, you get a half a million dollar tax

01:06:28 write off.

01:06:29 It's a way of spending $5,000 for a quarter of a million dollar tax break.

01:06:37 So yeah, tax reduction and money laundering is a very sort of big thing.

01:06:45 Thank you Steph, you changed my life and I keep improving as I keep listening to you.

01:06:48 I am absolutely thrilled.

01:06:50 Thank you so much.

01:06:53 Let me give you something else that I thought was interesting.

01:07:02 Oh yeah, here we go.

01:07:07 Oh yes, that's right.

01:07:11 Let me get this because I think this is an important thing.

01:07:15 Would you like sort of, first of all let me just double check on this.

01:07:19 Hit me with a 1 to 10 on how valuable this is in terms of helping you to price yourself.

01:07:29 Because this isn't just about entrepreneurship, right?

01:07:32 This isn't about entrepreneurship.

01:07:34 This is about any time you're in an economic exchange with people, right?

01:07:38 So if you're going, you want a raise at work, how do you get a raise at work?

01:07:42 Well you don't get a raise at work.

01:07:46 You offer your boss money, right?

01:07:51 You offer your boss money, right?

01:07:55 You absolutely offer your boss money.

01:07:57 And through the process of offering your boss money, what do you tell him?

01:08:00 You tell him, "Hey bro" or "Hey sis, I absolutely understand what business is.

01:08:05 I understand how business operates.

01:08:07 I'm a responsible employee who doesn't want a raise but wants to remind you of the value

01:08:12 I'm providing.

01:08:13 And you want me to keep providing that value.

01:08:15 You want me to increase providing that value."

01:08:20 And so you're showing your boss how much you understand business and value and that you're

01:08:27 not asking for a raise.

01:08:28 You're not asking for a raise.

01:08:31 You're offering him money.

01:08:34 Now would you like to hear the last step in determining your value?

01:08:44 This is the last step in determining your value.

01:08:54 How do you do your best to ensure that you're asking out the most attractive girl or boy

01:09:02 to the dance?

01:09:03 How do you ensure that you have the greatest chance of asking out the most attractive boy

01:09:09 or girl to the dance?

01:09:27 So yeah, you guys are on the right.

01:09:30 Yeah, be the most attractive partner, dress sharp and get clean.

01:09:33 No, what you do is you have a lot of women who will say yes, a lot of girls who will

01:09:44 say yes, a lot of boys who will say yes.

01:09:50 Does this make sense?

01:10:00 If you're selling a house, how do you get the highest offer?

01:10:05 You get the highest offer if you have the most bids.

01:10:09 That's how you are virtually guaranteed to get the highest offer is you have the most

01:10:13 bids.

01:10:17 So the way that you get the most from your clients is you absolutely have to get more

01:10:30 work than you can handle.

01:10:34 Does this make sense?

01:10:38 You have to get more work than you can handle.

01:10:40 How many people as a whole, how many people would love to have Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise

01:10:47 in their movie?

01:10:55 There's nobody who's got any brains who would not like a famous actor to be in their movie.

01:11:02 Does that make sense?

01:11:12 Everybody wants those people in their movie.

01:11:18 So because everybody wants Brad Pitt and so on, everybody wants Brad Pitt in their movie,

01:11:26 Brad Pitt can raise his price until only a few people are left who can pay, and then

01:11:33 he chooses what he likes in terms of the project the most.

01:11:39 Does that sort of make sense?

01:11:46 That doesn't make sense, right?

01:11:47 That make sense?

01:11:48 Yes, supply and demand.

01:11:50 You have to raise demand for your services so that you can bid up people to what you're

01:11:55 worth.

01:11:56 So you start working for free, you gather the metrics, you make the business case.

01:12:01 Once you have made the business case, you stimulate the demand to the point where you

01:12:04 can raise prices until people stop paying.

01:12:08 I mean, just think of, again, think of musicians.

01:12:14 Think of when the guitarist, Jimmy Page, the guitarist for Led Zeppelin was a session musician

01:12:21 for years before he came across Robert Plant and started the sort of blues rock fusion

01:12:25 band that shredded Robert Plant's vocal chords over the '70s, late '60s and '70s.

01:12:32 So he was a session musician, not paid that much.

01:12:34 In fact, he couldn't even read music, and when someone came in with a bunch of sheet

01:12:38 music he's like, "I don't know how to do this," and they're like, "Okay, well, just do rhythm

01:12:41 guitar, but for heaven's sakes learn how to read music.

01:12:43 It's kind of important," right?

01:12:50 So he was not much in demand as a session musician, but once he was on stage with John

01:12:58 Paul Jones and the crazy drummer, John Bonham was it, and Robert Plant, suddenly, I mean,

01:13:08 they were sort of legendary for their endless shows and duffel bags full of cash backstage.

01:13:16 I'm sure everyone just grabbed all of that.

01:13:21 So then he was in high demand.

01:13:22 He was in high demand.

01:13:24 Because he was in high demand, he could charge more and more.

01:13:27 You just have to up the demand.

01:13:28 How do you up the demand?

01:13:30 You go where your strongest business case is, you relentlessly get customers until you

01:13:35 have more calls than you can handle, and you can then just stop upping the price until

01:13:42 people start dropping off.

01:13:44 And then you get it to the top couple of people who are willing to pay your price, and then

01:13:47 you choose that which is most personally satisfying to you.

01:13:50 Does that make sense?

01:13:57 I mean, how confident do you feel going in to ask for a raise if you already have a 50%

01:14:05 increased salary offer?

01:14:09 I'm lost.

01:14:10 What are you lost about?

01:14:14 Let's say you make $75,000 a year and somebody's offering you $125,000, and you've got a really

01:14:20 good business case for your boss about how much money you've made the company, and you

01:14:23 go and you say, "I'm not asking.

01:14:26 I'm giving.

01:14:28 I'm not asking.

01:14:30 I'm giving."

01:14:31 If you're asking, you're in a situation of weakness.

01:14:34 If you're asking, you're in a situation of begging.

01:14:37 If you're asking, you're in a situation of kind of gross invitation to rejection.

01:14:43 "Oh, please go to the dance with me.

01:14:47 Nobody else will."

01:14:48 Right?

01:14:55 Don't ask for things.

01:14:57 Offer value.

01:14:58 Do not ask for things.

01:15:02 Asking is for dogs under the table and toddlers whining about candy.

01:15:08 Do not ask for things, my friends.

01:15:13 Don't do it.

01:15:14 Don't ask.

01:15:15 Ask is what slaves do.

01:15:18 Don't tell, that's what tyrants do.

01:15:20 Don't order, that's what tyrants do.

01:15:24 Show value and reject those who don't see your value.

01:15:32 Again, if you offer somebody 20 bucks and they run away from you, it's like, "Well,

01:15:36 I'm sorry that they had such a tough life that even a little benefit is stressful for

01:15:39 them."

01:15:40 Right?

01:15:45 So I'm going to paste something in here.

01:15:52 Let me just see here.

01:15:58 Union Shop, "Client and employees lowball.

01:16:00 I have seen contracts lost for a nickel an hour increase to stay out of the service industry."

01:16:07 You never want to work with people who take value personally.

01:16:12 It's not personal.

01:16:15 It's not personal.

01:16:17 Some people see the value that I provide and are honorable and support what I do.

01:16:23 Some people see the value that I provide and are honorable and support the work that I

01:16:27 do.

01:16:28 I hope you guys know how hard I work for this show.

01:16:31 It's not like some slavery and I'm not a victim, but it's a lot of work.

01:16:44 The people who see the value of what I do and support what I do are the people I'm doing

01:16:54 the show for.

01:16:55 The others, the free riders, maybe they'll learn over time.

01:16:58 But it's not personal.

01:16:59 Some people don't see the value that I do.

01:17:01 Some people have a historical relationship with generosity that's really painful and

01:17:07 they feel begrudging towards supporting me because other people have exploited them or

01:17:15 other people have been mean about this kind of stuff or humiliated them or they've been

01:17:21 bullied to support or whatever it is, right?

01:17:23 Or maybe they were threatened with hell if they don't support or maybe they were threatened

01:17:26 with ostracism if they don't support or maybe they were guilted or bullied and they supported

01:17:29 but they didn't want to.

01:17:31 They're taking it personally and I don't take it personally.

01:17:34 I put out my request for donations because I want to be responsible for what it is that

01:17:37 I do and I know that I provide great value.

01:17:44 I mean this should all be stuff that you're learning in school but how are you going to

01:17:47 learn about the market from government teachers?

01:17:50 I mean God almighty, right?

01:17:54 So it's not personal.

01:17:57 So if you go to your boss and you ask for a raise and you've got a really, really good

01:18:01 business case and your boss is like, "Oh, you know, there's no money in the budget,

01:18:04 blah, blah, blah," and I'm like, "So would you like to know some of the responses that

01:18:09 you can provide if you have a good business case to the inevitable things that bosses

01:18:13 will say?

01:18:14 Would you like to hear that?"

01:18:18 I would physically feel bad if I didn't subscribe.

01:18:19 It would feel like stealing or dishonorable.

01:18:22 Well again if you can afford it, right, and all of that.

01:18:24 So if your boss says, "There's no money in the budget and you've got a good business

01:18:30 case," and you say, "Well look man, I've contributed 30% to this budget," who are

01:18:35 you giving the money to if not to me?

01:18:37 Are you giving the money to people who aren't contributing to the budget?

01:18:40 If I've taken the company from $1 million a year to $1.3 million a year then I've contributed

01:18:47 $300,000 and here's my metrics.

01:18:49 I've contributed $300,000 worth of value to this company.

01:18:52 Who are you giving that additional money to?

01:18:54 If you're keeping it for yourself, that's not a great idea.

01:18:58 If you're giving it to people who haven't provided that much value then you're not being

01:19:01 objective, right?

01:19:03 You're not being objective.

01:19:05 Maybe it's a squeaky wheel like the person who complains the most or the person whatever

01:19:08 it is.

01:19:09 But if there's somebody who's providing more value to the company than I am, I would like

01:19:13 to know how you came to that.

01:19:15 You don't have to give me the name but I'd like to know how you came to that metric.

01:19:18 Because if I've added $300,000 worth of value to the company, I expect to see some of that.

01:19:24 Of course I do.

01:19:25 I expect to see some of that money coming back.

01:19:26 And if you say there's no money in the budget, then you've spent that $300,000 on something

01:19:30 else.

01:19:31 I'd like to know what it is.

01:19:32 I'd like to know what you're spending the money on.

01:19:34 That's fair, right?

01:19:35 I will make a habit of tipping on Fridays probably, right?

01:19:42 If somebody says we don't have the business, it's the same kind of thing.

01:19:44 I'm adding to the value of the company.

01:19:47 I need to see some of that money just as you would, just as everybody would, right?

01:19:52 Like when you sell to a customer, you're trying to give them their own money back, right?

01:19:57 You're adding value to their business and you're trying to give them their own money

01:20:00 back.

01:20:01 Well, I'm adding value to the business and I'm trying to get the money that I'm adding,

01:20:04 some portion of it back, right?

01:20:09 I work in R&D in a regulated industry where products can take one, two or more years to

01:20:13 show fruits.

01:20:14 What are your thoughts on angle to take in this case?

01:20:19 Well that's a longer term time horizon but you need to have, if you're working in R&D,

01:20:24 you need to have a history of what you've contributed, right?

01:20:28 I assume by the time you're working in R&D with one to two years, you've got a lot of

01:20:31 experience because they're not going to give that to a new who's unproven.

01:20:34 So you go back over your, and you can do this retrospectively, right?

01:20:38 You go back over your business history, your work history and you know, everybody says,

01:20:45 "Oh, I did this and here were my responsibilities and I did that and here are my responsibilities."

01:20:50 I never cared about any of that stuff.

01:20:54 I never cared when I was hiring, I've interviewed like a thousand people, I've hired like a

01:20:59 hundred people, mostly very successfully.

01:21:02 What am I looking for?

01:21:05 What am I looking for?

01:21:06 I'm looking for, I provided this much value.

01:21:10 I inherited a sales department that was doing this, I added this much value.

01:21:16 That's what I'm looking for.

01:21:17 I don't care how much it is, like I was even hustling when I had a paper route, right?

01:21:22 So I started with a paper route, it had 30 people, by the time I left it had 70 people

01:21:27 and it only took me 25% longer to do the route.

01:21:32 So 25% longer I got two and a half times the income.

01:21:35 25% more time investment got me two and a half times the income.

01:21:39 Do you see what I'm saying?

01:21:42 When I was a waiter, I had regulars, people who would come in and ask for me.

01:21:47 So when I was going to ask for a raise or a better section, I'm saying, "Look, man,

01:21:52 I got these and these and these customers, they come in, they ask for me."

01:21:55 Like I'm a really popular waiter, people come for me.

01:21:59 All right, "The one person in my department transferred out and the other person went

01:22:07 on family medical leave to avoid the headache.

01:22:08 The replacement quit before starting.

01:22:10 Now my boss wants me to cover for two people.

01:22:12 I'm not looking forward to a job search."

01:22:14 Well, you would sit...

01:22:23 Do you want to know how to deal with that with your boss?

01:22:26 Hit me with a "why" if that would be a valuable thing.

01:22:29 Because you know, bosses will often try and pile more work onto people, right?

01:22:33 Would you know how to say that to your boss, how to get him to understand what he's doing

01:22:38 and to make more money from that?

01:22:44 So I had this situation once where a boss gave me somebody else's work.

01:22:50 When I was also...

01:22:51 I was in tech and I was also doing some marketing, right?

01:22:54 And what I did was I said...

01:22:56 I went into my boss and I said, "Hey, man, I've managed to sell the product for half

01:22:59 price.

01:23:01 You know, we normally charge this, but I got the client to make it...

01:23:04 To take it for half price."

01:23:06 And he's like, "What are you talking about?

01:23:08 We lose money on half price.

01:23:09 You can't sell it for half price."

01:23:11 And I'm like, "Right.

01:23:13 And if you're asking me to do the jobs of two people, you're paying me half price.

01:23:17 And I'm losing money doing the jobs of two people.

01:23:20 You see how upset you got when I said I'd sold the product at half price?

01:23:24 When you're giving me the job of two people without paying me more is getting me at half

01:23:29 price."

01:23:30 Right?

01:23:32 So I feel the same as you.

01:23:34 Like we're one, right?

01:23:35 We both want to succeed.

01:23:38 You get paid half, you get upset.

01:23:40 I get paid half, I get upset.

01:23:42 We can work this out.

01:23:43 Do you see what I'm saying?

01:23:46 Sometimes people just need a little kick or something emphatic in order to...

01:23:50 And this is what negotiation is, right?

01:23:52 You're just trying to get the other person to sort of understand where you're coming

01:23:55 from.

01:23:56 And now if he's like, "Well, I don't care."

01:23:57 It's like, "Okay.

01:23:58 Well, then he's got no empathy and you got to look for a job."

01:24:00 But you got to at least give it as much as possible.

01:24:07 Let's see here.

01:24:08 "If a boss is constantly coming into my office and messing up what I have scheduled for production,

01:24:13 how should I respond?

01:24:14 Suck it up or say, 'Get in line.'"

01:24:17 So yes, a lot of bosses come in to chat, right?

01:24:21 You ever have this?

01:24:22 A lot of people come in, they do chat with you, they want to just...

01:24:27 All this kind of stuff, right?

01:24:31 So have you ever worked for a boss in a bad relationship?

01:24:38 Have you ever worked for a boss maybe going through a divorce or having lots of trouble

01:24:43 at home and so on, right?

01:24:44 So a lot of people will take their bad relationships and attempt to find some sort of social engagement

01:24:50 at work.

01:24:52 And that's very unprofessional, right?

01:24:55 That's very unprofessional.

01:24:57 And I generally don't like to work with people who are going through significant relationship

01:25:05 issues, because it's just all-consuming and they tend to be like drowning people, just

01:25:09 grabbing at everyone.

01:25:12 And it's pretty rough.

01:25:14 I mean, I remember once I had a friend of many years and he worked in an office and

01:25:21 the woman was just always working late and always harassing everyone to work late and

01:25:24 work weekends because she had no life.

01:25:27 And then she got into a relationship with a guy and she's like relaxed and she's like,

01:25:32 "Everyone, it's 5 o'clock.

01:25:33 You all should go home," because she wanted to go and hang out with her boyfriend and

01:25:36 this, that, and the other.

01:25:38 And everybody was like really working to keep this relationship going, you know, like trying

01:25:43 to give her advice.

01:25:44 And anyway, the guy ended up breaking up with her and then they went right back, nose to

01:25:48 the grindstone, right?

01:25:49 Which is like, "Oh, God, I'm back to working all night."

01:25:51 And he just left that, right?

01:25:52 Yeah, bosses with no relationship.

01:25:54 They will try to turn you into their friends and family, right?

01:25:59 You the employee.

01:26:00 And it's a really, really bad thing to do.

01:26:03 It's a really, really bad thing to do.

01:26:04 You cannot, because it's a power imbalance.

01:26:08 You really can't fairly do that with your employees because what are they going to do?

01:26:12 Like you ever have this boss, man, I had a boss like this, just kept telling the same

01:26:17 stories over and over again.

01:26:20 And what are you going to do?

01:26:21 What do you say?

01:26:22 "No, you're an adversary.

01:26:23 I already told me this."

01:26:24 All right, so somebody says, "When I improve the development processes in a company which

01:26:31 makes all the workers more efficient and increases the product quality, how can I measure the

01:26:35 value I provide?"

01:26:39 You can't manage what you can't measure.

01:26:42 If you don't measure things, you can't make any case for anything.

01:26:46 Then it's just like, "Oh, does it feel like I'm adding value?

01:26:49 Okay, I guess I'll feel like I should ask for more money."

01:26:52 No, don't do that.

01:26:54 So how do you know you've made all the workers more efficient?

01:26:57 How do you know that it's you that has made the workers more efficient?

01:27:00 Because everyone's going to claim they made the workers more efficient.

01:27:02 How do you know that it's you?

01:27:04 Okay, let me ask you this.

01:27:07 Do you get involved in projects with no measurement of success?

01:27:16 You just work away at stuff and you cross your fingers and out it goes and you never

01:27:20 really know whether it's plus or minus, good or bad, right or wrong, whether it was the

01:27:24 most efficient and best use of your time and resources.

01:27:26 Do you?

01:27:27 What did you do as a waiter that set you apart?

01:27:30 Oh, I mean, come on.

01:27:34 You know, everybody knows what you do as a waiter to set you apart.

01:27:41 You make the boyfriend look great.

01:27:43 Right?

01:27:45 I mean, that's brother to brother, right?

01:27:48 You make the boyfriend look great.

01:27:51 Don't you?

01:27:52 You joke with him and you show him respect and you defer to him and you elevate his status

01:27:57 and all of that and you give him a compliment or two and yeah, whoever's paying the bill,

01:28:02 you just make them look great.

01:28:03 I mean, if anyone can bring the food, I mean, you've got a catapult can throw the food over.

01:28:07 What do you do?

01:28:08 You make the boyfriend look good.

01:28:12 Oh, excellent choice of wine.

01:28:14 Yeah, you know your wines.

01:28:15 You just make him look good.

01:28:17 Right?

01:28:18 I mean, you get him laid.

01:28:21 I'm sorry.

01:28:22 I don't mean to be coarse, but you know, I was young.

01:28:26 Yeah, you try to get him laid.

01:28:28 You try to make him look great.

01:28:29 You try and make his evening success, you know.

01:28:37 So yeah, I mean, that's how you do it.

01:28:40 That's what you do.

01:28:44 You have and you have to be deferential without being obsequious, right?

01:28:48 Without being all of that, right?

01:28:49 So I haven't been a Western waiter for like 10 years.

01:28:54 Yeah.

01:28:57 Let's see here.

01:28:58 A quick admin question.

01:29:00 I've noticed that recently the live stream haven't been converted to audio and uploaded

01:29:03 as podcast.

01:29:04 This is my preferred way of listening to live streams.

01:29:05 Yeah, it's coming.

01:29:06 We've just got a lot of backlog.

01:29:07 We've got a lot of the backlog and we're getting a whole new process of getting these things

01:29:10 out.

01:29:11 I'm offloading it.

01:29:12 So we'll get there.

01:29:14 Also, donors, I'll try and -- I generally try to put -- for donors, I try to put the

01:29:17 audio up first.

01:29:20 Yeah, don't get involved in projects without a measurement.

01:29:25 How do -- like when I would be offered a project, it's like, okay, how do I know if I succeed?

01:29:29 And how do I know if I succeed in this more than anything else I could do?

01:29:32 How do I know?

01:29:33 How do I know if I'm succeeding?

01:29:35 How do I know if I'm succeeding?

01:29:37 My metrics here, I don't tend to look at podcast downloads too much.

01:29:41 I tend to look at donations and engagement and those various numbers, right?

01:29:46 How do I measure what I'm doing?

01:29:49 Well, donations and engagement and maybe some -- I look at the subscription numbers and

01:29:54 so on, right?

01:29:55 How do I know?

01:29:56 I'm not paid by volume of listeners.

01:29:59 I'm paid by subscriptions and donations, right?

01:30:02 So I have to keep track on that.

01:30:05 If you use donations, comments, likes, not so much comments because there's lots of people

01:30:09 who comment who are never going to pay.

01:30:11 Like you just have to accept that there's just some people for whatever resentful -- and

01:30:14 I think it's generally an immature reason, but there's a lot of people who will just

01:30:18 consume, consume, consume and they really, really resent being asked to pay.

01:30:25 I don't know exactly why.

01:30:27 I don't quite understand it.

01:30:29 I try to support the people that I like, but there are some people who just -- it's hard,

01:30:35 man.

01:30:36 They just resent it.

01:30:37 They just like, I'm not going to pay.

01:30:40 You know, they just -- I wouldn't say it's a stingy mentality, but they just really,

01:30:49 really -- "Steph, you weren't raised with a father.

01:30:54 Please don't talk down on my statement or breeze by like what I said can be misconstrued

01:30:59 to fit your point.

01:31:00 I said that I haven't been to a restaurant with a waiter in like 10 years.

01:31:04 Not that I haven't been a waiter.

01:31:06 Please.

01:31:07 Respect is mutual."

01:31:08 What the hell?

01:31:09 "I haven't been restaurant with waiter in like 10 years."

01:31:16 I haven't been restaurant with waiter in like -- so you typed it badly.

01:31:19 I mean, I haven't been restaurant with waiter.

01:31:23 I thought you meant you weren't a waiter in a restaurant in like 10 years.

01:31:26 What you meant to say was I haven't been to a restaurant with a waiter in 10 years.

01:31:30 You said I haven't been restaurant with waiter in like 10 years.

01:31:34 So you're really upset and offended when you mistyped your message.

01:31:36 Is that right?

01:31:37 And that's a very strong response to you mistyping a message.

01:31:45 I mean, I don't mean to make you feel bad or anything like that, but that's -- if I'm

01:31:49 ripping past something and that's -- you weren't raised with a father because you mistyped

01:31:58 a message?

01:31:59 I'm sorry.

01:32:00 That's a what the hell moment.

01:32:01 I don't really know how to handle that.

01:32:04 That's a very strange thing to see.

01:32:06 Please, respect is mutual.

01:32:08 It's like I didn't disrespect you.

01:32:10 You wrote something that could be interpreted once or both ways.

01:32:13 I ripped past it and you could have actually read what I said also, but yes, it goes both

01:32:17 ways I suppose.

01:32:18 No, I did -- okay, this is a waste of time.

01:32:22 This is not somebody is -- somebody is not going to listen to that.

01:32:26 That's fine.

01:32:27 So I'm going to share something with you that I think was really, really interesting and

01:32:34 we'll make this the last comment of the day.

01:32:36 I had an unbelievably early morning yesterday for reasons I'll get into in this or another

01:32:42 life at some point and it just messed up my sleep schedule for a day or two.

01:32:48 All right.

01:32:50 So -- no, it wasn't Toronto traffic.

01:32:55 So this is what somebody wrote to me underneath one of my videos and I thought it was really

01:33:01 interesting.

01:33:04 I thought it was really interesting.

01:33:05 So we'll get into this.

01:33:07 He wrote, "Begging for donations is for Steffi's survival.

01:33:13 Pathetic, unmanly, undignified, untrustworthy."

01:33:18 Isn't that interesting?

01:33:20 I find this juicy, deep, wonderful and fascinating.

01:33:26 Begging for donations is for Steffi's survival.

01:33:30 Pathetic, unmanly, undignified, untrustworthy.

01:33:34 So that's interesting.

01:33:36 What power dynamic do you think this person has experienced where asking for what you

01:33:40 want for the mutual exchange of value is begging?

01:33:45 Is begging?

01:33:47 What kind of power dynamics have you been in where asking for what you want and what

01:33:54 you feel and what you can make a case that you deserve, how is that begging?

01:34:01 No, it's not a girlfriend refusing sex because you would only choose a girlfriend based upon

01:34:07 something prior.

01:34:08 Yeah, brutal toddlerhood.

01:34:12 Asking for what you want.

01:34:13 So this is really the definition of triggered.

01:34:16 And I say this because, you know, we're all going to experience this kind of nonsense.

01:34:19 I guess I did a little bit with this guy who hadn't been to a restaurant with a waiter.

01:34:25 I like the Steffi word to identify myself.

01:34:27 No, the Steffi is a diminutive, right?

01:34:32 It's a way of diminishing.

01:34:33 Like there was a Donna Lipchuk used to write many years ago for a sort of free newspaper

01:34:37 called I in Toronto and she would say, you know, the theater people are always like,

01:34:43 how is that little play of yours coming along?

01:34:45 How is that little career of yours?

01:34:46 They have to say that little, right?

01:34:51 That little.

01:34:53 What is it that somebody would say, why would they get so triggered when I ask for donations?

01:35:00 Why would they get so triggered?

01:35:01 I mean, I'm just asking for what I want.

01:35:03 And my asking for what I want is much less than ads.

01:35:07 Like if you watch TV or if you don't have some upgraded video thing, it's like, you

01:35:15 know, 10% ads, 20% ads, 30% ads or whatever it is, right?

01:35:21 And why is it that asking for what you want and have a reasonable case for what you deserve,

01:35:31 why would asking for what you want bring this kind of rage?

01:35:36 Right?

01:35:37 It's really because nothing to do with me.

01:35:39 I mean, I'm just asking for what I want.

01:35:41 I mean, honestly, this doesn't even bounce off me.

01:35:43 Like it just whooshes past me and it's like, that's really fascinating.

01:35:47 So why does me asking for what I want and what I reasonably can expect to deserve, I

01:35:54 mean, my first podcast wasn't a half hour of me asking for donations.

01:35:58 I didn't even ask for donations until a year or two into the show.

01:36:02 Begging for donations for Steffi's survival.

01:36:05 Survival is an odd thing too because I survive whether or not, you know, people give me money

01:36:10 or not or donate money, right?

01:36:12 Pathetic, unmanly, undignified, untrustworthy, right?

01:36:15 Begging, begging, begging.

01:36:17 Now I'm going to keep asking for what I want.

01:36:19 It doesn't affect me but think how tough it is for this person.

01:36:22 This is why you really have to be careful who you attack, right?

01:36:26 Because what he's done is he's now categorized, this has to be a he, right?

01:36:33 Asking for what you want is now pathetic, unmanly, undignified and untrustworthy.

01:36:36 Does that affect me?

01:36:37 Nope.

01:36:38 I mean I've been a pretty good entrepreneur for like 30 plus years, right?

01:36:43 So what it means though is that for him to ask what he wants now puts himself in these

01:36:49 categories which means he is now barred in life from asking for what he wants or asking

01:36:57 for a fair exchange of value, right?

01:37:01 Asking is begging.

01:37:03 Now that's got to come from a family structure where need equals punishment.

01:37:10 So I grew up with somebody who, you know, when you're a kid you have needs, right?

01:37:14 You have needs.

01:37:15 You need your parents to buy you stuff.

01:37:16 You need your parents to do stuff.

01:37:17 You need your parents to spend attention, right?

01:37:19 You need your parents to sign permission slips.

01:37:22 And so he's in a situation where when he had a need someone mocked, humiliated, attacked

01:37:30 and diminished him.

01:37:32 So now when I -- so when he was a child he had needs, he asked for things and he was

01:37:39 in a helpless position as we all are when we're children.

01:37:42 So when he asked for things and his parent attacked, mocked, humiliated him, when I ask

01:37:48 for things he now flips to the parental alter ego and attacks me to protect me from his

01:37:56 parent.

01:37:58 See you think it's an insult.

01:38:00 No.

01:38:01 He's trying to protect me.

01:38:02 Do you follow?

01:38:05 Because when he asked for things he got attacked, like physically, violently.

01:38:12 He got attacked.

01:38:14 So he's like, I'm like the new guy in the prison block and every time you ask this guy

01:38:19 for something he beats you, right?

01:38:21 And he's like, don't ask.

01:38:22 It's pathetic.

01:38:23 Stop it.

01:38:24 He's so desperate to have me not ask for something because when he asked for things he was beaten.

01:38:28 Yeah, please sir.

01:38:30 Can I have some more, right?

01:38:35 Does this follow?

01:38:36 So a lot of people will experience this as hostility.

01:38:39 I experience this as a twisted act of love.

01:38:41 I mean, twisted, absolutely.

01:38:44 But it's a twisted act of love and a lot of people really misinterpret this and they say,

01:38:48 oh this guy hates me.

01:38:49 It's like, no, he cares enough about me that he doesn't want me to get half beaten to death

01:38:55 by asking for what I want.

01:38:58 Like if you hate the new guy in the cell block, you're just going to let him go up and ask

01:39:02 the guard for stuff and get beaten and thrown into solitary, right?

01:39:05 But if you care about him, you'll be desperate for him to not do that which is going to get

01:39:09 him beaten.

01:39:15 Does that make sense?

01:39:17 So a lot of people experience this as hostility.

01:39:19 I experience this as he really cares.

01:39:21 Did you talk to this guy?

01:39:22 No, I haven't.

01:39:23 I mean, if he wants to call in, I'm certainly happy to if he ever hears this, free domain.

01:39:26 Sorry, call in at freedomain.com.

01:39:29 But it is a, when he says Steffy's survival, he's trying to have me survive the violence

01:39:39 that comes from asking for things.

01:39:42 Did you follow?

01:39:43 I'm sorry, I hate saying do you follow like you're all idiots.

01:39:47 It's not because you're idiots.

01:39:48 It's because I'm not confident how well I'm explaining it.

01:39:51 It's not on you.

01:39:53 It's on me.

01:39:54 It's my deficiencies that I'm trying to, am I being clear?

01:39:57 Am I being clear is probably a better way to put it, right?

01:40:00 So when people are trying to desperately get you to stop doing something, it's because

01:40:05 they're trying to save you from the violence they experience as imminent.

01:40:10 Does this make sense?

01:40:12 I'm an idiot.

01:40:13 I think you're giving him too much credit.

01:40:15 What do you mean?

01:40:17 I don't understand.

01:40:19 I think you're giving him too much credit.

01:40:24 Did I give the impression that I think this is conscious on his part?

01:40:31 Did I give the impression that he's full of self-knowledge and he's aware of all of this?

01:40:37 I'm not sure what you mean when you say I'm giving him too much credit and I'm genuinely

01:40:41 curious.

01:40:42 I don't know what that means.

01:40:50 And again, I'm happy to be instructed or corrected on this for sure.

01:40:56 And I know it's a long thing to type, so I'm happy to give you the time to do that for

01:41:07 sure.

01:41:09 When people are screaming abuse at you in their own twisted way, they're trying to save

01:41:14 you from something.

01:41:19 This is a learning moment or experience to hear your reaction to this person.

01:41:22 My mother was trying to save me from whatever half killed her in the war that my behavior

01:41:30 was similar to.

01:41:31 Does that make sense?

01:41:34 Like my mother was not trying to hurt me, my mother was trying to save me.

01:41:39 Because I was behaving in a way that would get me killed when she was a child or could

01:41:45 get me killed.

01:41:50 Maybe he feels guilty for not donating.

01:41:55 I see his comment is more malignant than you.

01:41:58 Of course, I completely understand it's a malignant comment for sure, but the question

01:42:02 is where does it come from?

01:42:07 He's not enslaving me because I'll continue to ask for donations because it's the right

01:42:10 thing to do.

01:42:12 So he's not changing my behavior.

01:42:15 Obviously he's enslaving himself, not me.

01:42:17 Like everyone thinks that they're putting a net on other people, I just walk away and

01:42:21 then you end up tangled, like this kind of person ends up tangled in their own nets,

01:42:27 right?

01:42:30 Sorry to be annoying Steph, I hope I didn't bifurcate the direction of the show with my

01:42:34 criticism.

01:42:35 I felt offended like it was done on purpose in a way in regards to the restaurant statement.

01:42:43 I mean so the fact that you felt offended, do you consider this to be a statement of

01:42:48 fact or a statement of experience?

01:42:50 I felt upset is a feeling.

01:42:56 You did something wrong is a moral judgment.

01:42:58 I felt upset is a subjective experience.

01:43:01 You did something wrong is an objective moral judgment.

01:43:05 Do you understand the difference between the two?

01:43:06 I don't mean to be, I don't mean to sound annoying, I'm just, so the fact that you felt

01:43:14 upset does not mean I did anything wrong.

01:43:18 You seem to have a straight line like physics.

01:43:21 I'm upset, therefore someone did something wrong.

01:43:27 Someone did something wrong in no way follows from you being upset.

01:43:34 It doesn't follow.

01:43:35 It's not a logical consequence.

01:43:41 So you may have these dominoes in your mind.

01:43:44 Because I'm upset, Steph did something wrong.

01:43:48 It does not follow at all.

01:43:50 Like this guy is upset by me asking for support for my show.

01:43:56 He's enraged, pathetic, unmanly, undignified, untrustworthy.

01:43:59 He's enraged.

01:44:01 He's enraged at what I'm doing.

01:44:04 He thinks it's absolutely terrible what I'm doing.

01:44:07 Does that follow?

01:44:09 That me asking for what I want is the cause of his rage?

01:44:16 See if you do something physical, right, like if someone comes and pushes you to the ground,

01:44:24 then everyone's going to experience that as a physical thing, right?

01:44:28 Because that's a physical thing, right?

01:44:32 But if I'm saying things and people interpret it very differently, I've had emails and messages

01:44:40 more than I could really count over the years of people saying, "I'm so glad you were persistent

01:44:45 asking for donations.

01:44:46 I feel so much better now that I've donated.

01:44:49 I really appreciate it.

01:44:50 I'm sorry it took me so long."

01:44:51 Right?

01:44:52 So when I ask for donations, some people are grateful at my persistence.

01:44:57 This guy sees it once and is enraged.

01:45:00 So how is it possible that there's something objective occurring when some people are thankful

01:45:05 and some people are enraged at exactly the same stimuli?

01:45:08 Do you understand?

01:45:10 If I paint something red, it's objectively red, right?

01:45:14 That's cause and effect.

01:45:15 And even if you're colorblind, you get a wavelength, right?

01:45:17 It's the same, right?

01:45:19 So if people experience the same thing completely opposite, then there's subjective things involved.

01:45:32 Emotional dominoes are the exact opposite of RTR.

01:45:34 Well, it's sophistry.

01:45:36 You're making a knowledge claim that you don't have that is not true, which is I'm upset

01:45:40 because Steph did something wrong, that I grew up without a dad and I'm not showing

01:45:44 you mutual respect or whatever it is, right?

01:45:46 Of course, I don't know what respect you've shown me and you're certainly not showing

01:45:49 me it.

01:45:50 And the funny thing is that you're saying, "Steph, you're not showing me the respect

01:45:52 that I'm showing you.

01:45:54 You guy raised without a father who's treating me terribly," right?

01:45:57 So you're not showing me any respect.

01:45:58 In fact, you're kind of insulting me and saying that I'm a bad guy for showing you disrespect

01:46:02 while at the same time claiming that you're showing me all the disrespect, right?

01:46:07 You're kind of saying that I'm a bad guy for no reason because you mistyped something and

01:46:12 I read it quickly.

01:46:15 Then you're saying, "Steph, I want you to treat me with as much respect as I'm treating

01:46:19 you.

01:46:20 I'm actually treating you with a lot more respect than you're treating me," right?

01:46:22 That's just a fact, right?

01:46:24 So if I make the same statement, which is you can support me at freedomain.com/donate

01:46:28 or whatever it is, I make that statement, some people are indifferent, some people support,

01:46:32 some people get upset, some people thank me for it.

01:46:37 So lots of people are having different experiences of what I'm saying, which means that there's

01:46:41 an interpretive element to their experience.

01:46:45 Whereas if I go up and slap someone hard across the face, everyone's going to experience the

01:46:50 shock and pain of a slap across the face, like everyone.

01:46:53 Now maybe there's some masochist who likes it, I don't know, but that physical thing

01:46:57 is a very real and objective thing.

01:46:58 It could be measured.

01:46:59 If it's on camera, I've clearly assaulted someone.

01:47:02 That could be legal consequences.

01:47:04 So that's an objective thing.

01:47:06 However, me saying things not to anyone in particular where people have a wide variety

01:47:12 of different responses.

01:47:14 Some people think I'm the best guy around, some people think I'm one of the worst guys

01:47:18 around.

01:47:19 So there's obviously a subjective element, but nobody thinks I have a full head of hair.

01:47:23 Nobody thinks that I have a full head of hair.

01:47:25 That's more objective.

01:47:26 Somebody, oh, the same guy says, "I'm too mired in my own stuff to focus on that kind

01:47:33 of abstraction.

01:47:34 That's more personal to you.

01:47:35 My neighbors are pricks.

01:47:36 Sorry, the internet is probably just a softer target.

01:47:38 I withdraw my judgment of you."

01:47:40 Well, I'm sorry about your neighbors.

01:47:41 That is very tough.

01:47:43 Tough neighbors is very tough, very, very difficult.

01:47:46 Sorry, that's a bit of a--people that say I'm showing respect, I'm really showing respect,

01:47:53 yeah.

01:47:54 All right.

01:47:55 Let me just see here.

01:48:01 You have a full head of hair, we just can't see it.

01:48:04 I'm not sure what the difference would be between having it that nobody could see or

01:48:07 detect in any way and not having it at all, right?

01:48:11 Saying something like, "You could give me tips or go play in traffic," is an attack,

01:48:15 not respectfully asking for support.

01:48:18 Yeah, I mean, people seem kind of hung up on this word "respect."

01:48:24 What does that mean?

01:48:27 I mean, I respect the fact that you're here.

01:48:28 I respect the fact that you're listening to philosophy.

01:48:31 I'm not sure what it would mean.

01:48:32 Like this respect thing seems to be quite important.

01:48:35 The word "respect" often seems to be dictatorial.

01:48:39 In other words, I have to do things a certain way or somebody can label me as disrespectful.

01:48:46 And I don't follow that way.

01:48:49 I don't accept that you can determine something as subjective as respect and use it as a tool

01:48:58 to attack me or not on.

01:49:01 In other words, if you feel respected, whatever that means, then I'm okay.

01:49:05 If you feel disrespected, then you can attack me, right?

01:49:08 No.

01:49:09 I mean, if I swear at you, if I call you names, these are objective things, right?

01:49:14 But if I pass by a comment that you mistyped and you get really upset and then you're suddenly

01:49:18 like, "Well, I'm upset.

01:49:19 Therefore, he's treating me disrespectfully," you're just giving yourself slutty emotional

01:49:24 license.

01:49:25 S-E-L, slutty emotional license.

01:49:30 And listen, we all do it.

01:49:32 We all can talk ourselves into, you know, like some guy zooms past you in the car, cuts

01:49:36 you off, you're like, "Oh, that guy's a total jerk," and blah, right?

01:49:39 You don't know.

01:49:40 Maybe his wife's in the back and she's about to give birth.

01:49:43 Maybe he's about to crap his pants and he's got to get to a restaurant, to a bathroom

01:49:47 because he's on the way to a big business.

01:49:49 We don't know.

01:49:50 We don't know.

01:49:52 Maybe he's being chased by an unjust cop.

01:49:54 I don't know, right?

01:49:57 So I'm concerned when people give themselves license to be very aggressive based on a subjective

01:50:04 interpretation of what somebody else is doing because that's just making up rules that

01:50:08 benefit your pettiest and most aggressive self.

01:50:12 I mean, the whole point of morality is to have some objective standards.

01:50:15 Now, I can get angry if somebody threatens me or it's like something's really, you

01:50:19 know, dramatic or dangerous and all of that, right?

01:50:24 But don't make up standards that are subjective that allow you to be a jerk.

01:50:35 Don't make up subjective standards that just, "Well, I'm feeling disrespected so I can just

01:50:39 be a jerk."

01:50:44 Can I go back in time to have a dad as patient as Steph?

01:50:46 I plan to be this patient with my kids.

01:50:49 Maybe he has to rush home to catch Steph's live stream.

01:50:51 Well, yeah, I guess so, right?

01:50:55 It's unreasonable, particularly in a live stream with an active chat, especially if

01:50:58 the comment you type is unclear.

01:51:00 Well, I mean, so if somebody says, "I haven't been to a restaurant with a waiter in 10 years,"

01:51:06 and I read it as, "I haven't been a waiter in 10 years," I don't know how that's disrespectful.

01:51:10 That's just an error.

01:51:12 The idea that an error with an unclear comment read in passing is disrespectful, you're just

01:51:18 making up this term called disrespectful that allows you to be aggressive and disrespectful

01:51:23 yourself.

01:51:24 It's kind of ironic, right?

01:51:25 You make up this term called disrespectful that allows you to be disrespectful.

01:51:28 Obviously, I meant no disrespect, right?

01:51:32 You're just making up a term.

01:51:35 Parents make up these terms all the time.

01:51:38 Give me parental terms that allow parents to escalate.

01:51:41 Give me the terms, "You're being selfish.

01:51:44 You're back talking.

01:51:45 You're being disrespectful.

01:51:46 You're not listening."

01:51:48 Parents make up these terms all the time that just allow them to poke themselves into ungrateful,

01:51:54 yeah, righteous, "God told me you're being self-righteous," right?

01:52:00 So people make up these terms that just allow them to be assholes, sorry to be blunt, and

01:52:05 look, we all have them.

01:52:06 I'm not immune from this, right?

01:52:08 It's inappropriate.

01:52:09 What just, it's inappropriate?

01:52:11 You're lazy, stupid.

01:52:12 Well, those are more insults.

01:52:14 Those are after they've escalated, right?

01:52:18 You just don't listen.

01:52:20 You treat this place like a hotel, like just this thing, go it up, right?

01:52:24 My father would say, "Respect me," which just meant do what I say.

01:52:27 Yeah.

01:52:28 It turns out respecting is just doing what he says, right?

01:52:31 Ungrateful triggers me, yeah.

01:52:34 How dare you be ungrateful at a parent who uses the term ungrateful to attack you?

01:52:39 Why won't you listen?

01:52:41 You never listen.

01:52:42 Never and always tend to be these escalating words.

01:52:45 You never listen.

01:52:46 You never do what I say.

01:52:47 You never do your chores.

01:52:48 You never, you never, you always, you always, you always, you never, you never, right?

01:52:53 Can't you see people that just wind themselves up with this language?

01:52:56 You're causing a ruckus?

01:52:57 A little bit, yeah, maybe.

01:52:58 Why are you so loud?

01:53:00 You never, you're always picking on your brother.

01:53:03 People just crank.

01:53:04 You can use these terms, and they're very big terms, and this can start relatively innocently,

01:53:09 and it can end up in a very, very dark place.

01:53:12 The unvaccinated are unclean disease spreaders who have to have their rights taken away.

01:53:17 Like it can get, people can just, "You're making me sick.

01:53:22 I'm literally shaking," is another one.

01:53:24 "I feel sick.

01:53:26 I heard this, and I felt physically sick."

01:53:29 It's an escalation term.

01:53:35 It's an escalation term, and those escalation terms go all the way from relatively mild

01:53:41 to halfway to genocide.

01:53:46 Like the Hutsus and the Tutsis from Rwanda, the cockroaches that are unclean, they're

01:53:52 just right there, right?

01:53:57 Does this, again, am I being relatively clear again?

01:54:00 We're kind of roughing past this, right?

01:54:04 You watch this language.

01:54:07 Language is often used to raise our ire to the point where we lower our standards.

01:54:21 Got to watch the language that you use.

01:54:23 Like so this guy begging for donations for Steffi's survival, pathetic, unmanly, undignified,

01:54:29 untrustworthy, again, I get that he's trying to help me.

01:54:32 I get that he's trying to save me from whatever hell his parents put him through, right?

01:54:38 Horn honking in response to the freedom stolen scares me.

01:54:46 I had my parents almost throw me into the street for saying, "I'm sick," honestly.

01:54:51 "Honestly?"

01:54:52 What, you said you were sick, and they almost threw you into the street?

01:54:55 That's not good.

01:54:56 That's not good.

01:54:57 Yeah, so you always have to look for this language, and we all hear this in ourself.

01:55:00 The language that gives us the moral high horse to lower our standards and become that

01:55:04 which we attack, to become that which we criticize.

01:55:09 Watch that language that spirals you up so that you can do whatever the hell you want

01:55:16 and feel justified in it.

01:55:19 Steff's treating me, I feel disrespected by Steff, so I can just, right, you're pissing

01:55:23 me off, right?

01:55:24 Yeah, that can happen for sure.

01:55:27 If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, right?

01:55:33 I mean, we could go on all day with these kinds of things, right?

01:55:37 Stop the shenanigans.

01:55:40 You said you invite criticism.

01:55:41 Oh, you're still going with this kind of thing, so now I'm a hypocrite?

01:55:44 Now I'm a hypocrite, because when you say you incite criticism, you invite criticism,

01:55:48 but then when I say that you're showing me no respect because you were raised without

01:55:51 a father, that's kind of abusive, right?

01:55:54 That's kind of mean and kind of aggressive.

01:55:57 And I certainly didn't do that with you.

01:55:59 I just misinterpreted something that you mistyped.

01:56:01 So you brought the aggression to the table, my friend, not me.

01:56:04 You brought the insults to the table, not me.

01:56:07 And then now you're saying I'm a hypocrite as well?

01:56:09 Yeah, well, this is, you know, you're just convincing yourself about this escalation.

01:56:13 And listen, I'm sorry.

01:56:14 I'm really genuinely and deeply sorry for, like, how you were treated as a child, that

01:56:20 this is your approach to things.

01:56:23 And you call in at freedomain.com.

01:56:25 I'm more than happy to chat about it, because, yeah, this is not the way to get what you

01:56:28 want in life, not from any quality people, right?

01:56:30 "Steph, you are a lightning rod for other individuals' insecurities and untreated trauma."

01:56:34 Well, "Steph is so patient I'm crying.

01:56:41 It's so real."

01:56:42 I'm a lightning rod.

01:56:44 So I guess we could end with this.

01:56:47 Do you know why that is?

01:56:53 Why am I a lightning rod for other people's insecurities and untreated trauma?

01:57:01 Because I speak the truth.

01:57:02 That's a great point, but it's probably not as detailed as it could be.

01:57:08 I mean, if I say two and two is four, I'm speaking the truth, but it doesn't.

01:57:12 "Provoking inappearance.

01:57:14 Because your mother was the most reasonable person in the room, it proves you can heal."

01:57:17 I think these are all excellent comments.

01:57:19 You guys are just giving me a facetan from the brilliance of these comments.

01:57:23 I don't attack the inappearance.

01:57:24 No, all I did was...

01:57:26 No.

01:57:27 So I think the reason, and obviously I could be wrong, you guys could be right about everything

01:57:30 here, but I think the reason why I end up at this kind of lightning rod scenario is

01:57:36 because I don't modify my behavior based on other people's upset.

01:57:47 Because that would be to surrender to their abusers and give their abusers power in their

01:57:52 minds.

01:57:54 I don't change my behavior based upon other people's upset.

01:57:58 Because that would be to enslave them even further to their abusive alter egos.

01:58:04 Does that make sense?

01:58:05 Because if this guy attacks me in this way, begging for donations, blah, blah, blah, and

01:58:12 if I'm like, "Oh, I guess I shouldn't really beg for donations or whatever," I've just

01:58:17 empowered his inner bullies and thus enslaved him further.

01:58:20 You don't want to appease the aggressive because that makes them more likely to use aggression

01:58:26 in the future.

01:58:27 Does that make sense?

01:58:31 So I won't modify...

01:58:32 Like, when I was a kid, I had to modify my behavior because of aggressive and abusive

01:58:36 and disrespectful people.

01:58:38 I had to modify my behavior just to survive.

01:58:42 Guess what?

01:58:43 For the last 42 years, since I was 15 years old, I haven't had to do that.

01:58:47 Okay, maybe a little bit in school and this, that, and the other, right?

01:58:54 So I respect people too much to let them bully me because that's just going to make them

01:59:00 more likely to bully other people, more likely the bullying works for them, more likely that

01:59:05 their inner bullies are going to win and enslave them forever.

01:59:08 So if this guy who's screaming at me in this hysterical way for asking for donations, if

01:59:14 I change my behavior because of him, then screaming...

01:59:17 Like that would be really hating people.

01:59:19 It would be really hating people to support and empower the worst aspects of themselves.

01:59:28 I'll call in.

01:59:29 No harsh feelings, Stefan.

01:59:33 Are you now telling me what I should or shouldn't feel?

01:59:37 I mean, really it's going to be an interesting call in.

01:59:40 I'm allowed to have harsh feelings if I want.

01:59:43 Don't tell me what I should or shouldn't feel.

01:59:45 Maybe you're saying you have no harsh feelings.

01:59:46 I doubt that.

01:59:48 Well I don't have any trust that you know what you feel because you didn't...

01:59:52 I mean like literally 10 seconds ago you were defending what you did.

01:59:58 Stefan's going to hike 10 miles during that call in.

02:00:00 Yeah, maybe.

02:00:01 That's very funny.

02:00:02 I agree you're one of the most consistent people I know of.

02:00:03 I mean, I have my moments, but I sort of try and hang in there as best I can.

02:00:08 All right.

02:00:10 So yeah, I look forward to the call in.

02:00:11 I think that'll be very, very interesting.

02:00:14 Any last tips, comments, support?

02:00:19 First five hour call in.

02:00:20 No, he wouldn't.

02:00:21 I don't think he'd last that long.

02:00:22 Maybe I wouldn't either.

02:00:24 I think the longest call in was three and a half hours.

02:00:26 I did one today with a woman two and a quarter hours, so it was kind of long but not super

02:00:31 long.

02:00:32 I think that was a very, very interesting one as well.

02:00:34 I'm sure that'll go out at some point.

02:00:37 All right.

02:00:39 What did you want luck with from last stream?

02:00:41 I can't really talk about that at the moment, but I really...

02:00:43 You look great in that suit.

02:00:45 Will you share what the purpose was?

02:00:46 I will at some point, but not right now.

02:00:49 Steph, you're always the one I'm at the gym stealing my gains.

02:00:53 Oh, it's just different kinds of gains.

02:00:57 And how was Steph will change your life.

02:00:58 Yeah, fair enough.

02:01:00 Yeah, sorry.

02:01:01 I'm just...

02:01:02 Some things I just have to keep to myself for now.

02:01:04 Anyway, it's all very exciting stuff.

02:01:07 I'm a subscriber.

02:01:08 Wish I had more.

02:01:09 Once I get money from the crypto bull market, you will be getting a money cannon to the

02:01:11 face.

02:01:12 I appreciate that.

02:01:13 Steph, I would love a solo show on vetting as a high quality woman.

02:01:17 Was disappointed that the first caller didn't go through with that.

02:01:19 Loved the 50 minute solo on Wisdom 2.

02:01:21 That was great.

02:01:22 I just did a show recently on vetting as a high quality woman.

02:01:26 I did, didn't I?

02:01:27 It was a couple of days ago.

02:01:30 I think it was on Sunday.

02:01:31 I did, right?

02:01:32 Yeah, the stream will be coming out.

02:01:34 It's honestly went in.

02:01:37 I went in deep with a high quality woman.

02:01:39 Wanted to send this yesterday.

02:01:40 Couldn't figure out.

02:01:41 Oh, you just gave me that Chuck 99, didn't you?

02:01:45 Oh, man.

02:01:46 My belly actually looked like the side of that ice cream afterwards.

02:01:48 Oh, so good.

02:01:51 So good.

02:01:52 All right.

02:01:53 All right.

02:01:54 Well, thanks, everyone, so much for a really fun and I hope useful conversation and chat

02:02:00 this evening.

02:02:02 It's just wonderful to spend this time with you.

02:02:04 I view it as a great honor and I hope that I always do you proud with everything that

02:02:12 I do.

02:02:13 And if there's anything I can do better, you can always let me know.

02:02:15 And I always appreciate getting that kind of feedback.

02:02:18 Freedomain.locals.com.

02:02:19 Please check it out.

02:02:20 And if you go to the Peaceful Parenting audiobook feed, which I'm adding to, I'm up to part

02:02:29 four, you get Stephbot AI, which you can ask me questions based on millions of words of

02:02:34 mine and you get the History of Philosophers series, which is some of my best work, frankly.

02:02:39 And so I hope that you will check that out.

02:02:43 And lots of love from up here.

02:02:44 I appreciate you guys coming by tonight.

02:02:46 I thank you for your continued interest and support in philosophy.

02:02:50 I love you guys to death.

02:02:51 We'll talk soon.

02:02:52 Bye.

02:02:53 [static]

02:02:55 (static)

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