What if SpongeBob SquarePants were an old-fashioned black and white cartoon? What about a chibi anime? Or what if Squidw | dHNfcVhtZ0Z0ZVZJcHM
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TVTranscript
00:00 [music playing]
00:01 Hey, the mail's here. What'd you get?
00:04 Let's see. Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary.
00:07 Hey, a magazine!
00:09 That's funny, I don't remember subscribing to Fancy Livin' Digest.
00:13 Whoa!
00:15 Look at these glossy depictions of a higher standard of living.
00:20 This guy's so rich, he has a swimming pool in his swimming pool.
00:23 This guy's got shoes!
00:25 Get me back!
00:27 Stealing my mail, eh?
00:28 Hey, Squidward, how do the people in that magazine get all that money?
00:32 They're entrepreneurs, they sell things to people.
00:35 Quick, Patrick, without thinking.
00:37 If you could have anything in the world right now, what would it be?
00:40 Um, more time for thinking.
00:43 No, something real, an item, something you would pay for.
00:46 A chocolate bar?
00:47 That's a great idea, Pat!
00:49 We'll be traveling chocolate bar salesmen.
00:51 Good afternoon, sir.
00:54 Could we interest you in some chocolate?
00:57 Chocolate?
00:59 Did you say chocolate?
01:01 Yes, sir, with or without nuts.
01:04 Chocolate?
01:05 Chocolate!
01:07 Chocolate!
01:09 Chocolate!
01:11 Chocolate!
01:14 Hey, that first guy didn't count.
01:17 Hello?
01:18 I love you.
01:19 I think you laid it on a teensy bit thick there, old pal.
01:24 Let me try.
01:25 Please, go away.
01:28 Um...
01:29 How you doing?
01:31 How am I doing?
01:33 Wanna buy some chocolate?
01:34 We gotta go!
01:35 Sorry, chocolate has sugar and sugar turns to bubbling fat.
01:38 Isn't that right, lover boy?
01:40 It tickles.
01:42 As you can see, me and chocolate no longer hang.
01:44 You can keep that for five bucks.
01:47 I'll take ten.
01:48 I can't understand what we're doing wrong.
01:52 I can't understand anything.
01:54 There must be something to this selling game that we're just not getting.
01:58 Other people do it, I mean, look at that.
02:00 Eat barnacle chips, they're delicious.
02:03 They are most certainly not delicious.
02:05 Not the way I use 'em.
02:07 Yet they sell millions of bags a day.
02:09 Well, maybe if they didn't stretch the truth,
02:11 they wouldn't sell as many.
02:13 That's it, Patrick, we've gotta stretch the truth.
02:16 Chocolate!
02:18 We'll work as a team.
02:21 Let me get this customer warmed up and then you come in for the kill.
02:24 The kill.
02:28 Yes?
02:29 Hello, young lady.
02:32 We're selling chocolate.
02:34 Is your mother home?
02:37 Mom!
02:39 What? What? What's all the yelling?
02:42 You just can't wait for me to die, can you?
02:46 - They're selling chocolate. - Chocolate?
02:49 - Yeah! - What?
02:50 - What are they selling? - Chocolate!
02:52 - What? - Chocolate!
02:54 I can't hear you!
02:56 - They're selling chocolate! - They're selling chocolate?
02:59 - Yeah! - Chocolate.
03:01 I remember when they first invented chocolate.
03:04 Sweet, sweet chocolate.
03:07 I always hated it.
03:09 Oh, but this chocolate's not for eating, it's for--
03:13 You rub it on your skin and it makes you live forever.
03:17 No, no, no!
03:18 Live forever, you say?
03:20 I'll take one.
03:22 Come on, you lazy Mary.
03:26 Start rubbing me with that chocolate.
03:28 I hate you.
03:30 Don't get me wrong, Patrick,
03:34 but there's no one left in town to sell chocolate bars to.
03:37 Whoa!
03:39 Let's face it, Patrick, we're failures.
03:43 I can live with that.
03:44 Let's change our names to Why and Bother.
03:49 Chocolate!
03:53 No, no, no, no, no!
03:55 Please, not in any place!
03:56 [laughing]
03:59 Finally!
04:00 I've been trying to catch you boys all day!
04:04 Now that I've got you right where I want you,
04:07 I'd like to buy all your chocolate.
04:09 Thank you for your patronage.
04:18 Are we living the fancy life yet, SpongeBob?
04:23 Not yet, Pally. First we gotta spend all the money.
04:25 But what are we gonna spend it on?
04:28 Hmm...
04:29 Good evening, sir. Table for one, please.
04:36 Sorry, but the whole restaurant has been rented to a private party.
04:40 But it's my only night to be fancy.
04:43 Who could afford to rent out the whole restaurant?
04:45 Oh, a couple of rich entrepreneurs and their dates.
04:50 So, how long have you two ladies known each other?
04:53 What? What did he say?