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00:00 [music]
00:02 [music]
00:04 [music]
00:06 [MUSIC]
00:16 [MUSIC]
00:26 [MUSIC]
00:36 [MUSIC]
00:46 [MUSIC]
01:11 [MUSIC]
01:19 >> It's the Krusty Comedy Classic.
01:22 >> Hey, hey, it's great to be back at the Apollo Theater and
01:27 KKK, that's not good.
01:30 [LAUGH]
01:31 [NOISE]
01:39 >> Now I'd like to introduce a new feature never before seen on TV,
01:45 dumb pet tricks.
01:47 [LAUGH]
01:49 Here's a dog that's been trained to catch this red rubber ball.
01:52 [SOUND]
01:53 >> Somebody shoot it, somebody shoot it.
01:56 >> These specials get worse every year.
01:58 >> I'll see what else is on.
01:59 >> Hey, where's the remote?
02:01 [SOUND]
02:02 >> Hello, hello, stupid cordless phone.
02:06 I'll try the old fashioned model.
02:09 That's better.
02:10 How you doing, Gertie?
02:12 [SOUND]
02:14 >> And now our parody of Mad About You, entitled Mad About Shoe.
02:19 Give me a kiss, baby, no tongue.
02:22 [LAUGH]
02:23 [SOUND]
02:26 >> You're not gonna like our NYPD shoe sketch.
02:29 It's pretty much the same thing.
02:31 >> Ma, could you get me some milk?
02:33 >> Can't you get it yourself?
02:34 >> No, that's okay.
02:36 I'll just go without liquid.
02:37 [SOUND]
02:41 >> All right, all right, I'll get you milk.
02:43 >> Thank you.
02:44 >> Does anyone else want anything while I'm up?
02:46 >> No.
02:47 >> No.
02:48 [SOUND]
02:50 >> Marge, give me a beer.
02:51 [SOUND]
02:52 >> Mom?
02:53 >> What?
02:54 >> There's a hair in my suit, but I'll just eat around it.
02:58 >> What kind of hair?
02:59 >> Well, it's blue, six feet long.
03:02 >> Ew.
03:04 >> It's my hair.
03:06 >> Excuse me.
03:08 [SOUND]
03:10 >> Your mother seems really upset about something.
03:13 I better go have a talk with her during the commercial.
03:17 >> Now let's hear it for a great American, former President Gerald Ford.
03:22 >> Thank you, Krusty, for inviting me.
03:24 >> Well, all the good presidents turned us down.
03:27 >> Oh, well, I'd like to talk about a subject that is very important to me.
03:33 The Boy Scouts of America have molded men for over 100 years.
03:38 And what are you?
03:40 >> How's your wife, Nancy?
03:42 >> Betty.
03:43 >> Who cares?
03:46 >> Oh, Marge, I just had a couple of beers.
03:50 Ew.
03:52 [MUSIC]
04:14 >> Marge, I was just watching women's volleyball on ESPN.
04:21 >> Come on, there's no need for that baba mabushka.
04:24 >> All right, but don't be shocked.
04:27 >> Oh, there's no way I could--
04:29 [SCREAM]
04:31 >> Homie, I'm losing my hair.
04:34 >> No, sweetie, don't worry about a thing.
04:36 I'll teach you to comb it over so no one can tell, just like my hair.
04:40 [MUSIC]
04:43 [LAUGH]
04:47 >> Mrs. Simpson, there's no physical reason why your hair should be falling out.
04:51 This thing has me buffaloed.
04:54 >> Phone call, Mrs. Simpson, lines one and two.
04:57 >> Mom, I need a glass of milk.
04:59 >> Me too.
05:00 [GROWL]
05:03 >> I think the problem may be stress.
05:07 >> I was just with Dr. Hibbert.
05:09 He said I was under a lot of stress and should get some help.
05:13 >> Marge, whatever it takes to make you well, we'll do it.
05:16 >> Well, I was thinking we could hire a nanny to help me out.
05:20 >> A nanny?
05:21 >> But how am I supposed to pay for that?
05:23 >> We'll find a way.
05:25 Mom has made so many sacrifices for us.
05:27 It's time we gave up something for her.
05:29 I'll stop buying Malibu Stacy clothing.
05:31 >> And I'll take up smoking and give that up.
05:33 >> Good for you, son.
05:35 Giving up smoking is one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do.
05:39 Have a dollar.
05:40 >> But he didn't do anything.
05:42 >> Didn't he, Lisa?
05:43 Didn't he?
05:45 >> Hey, wait a minute.
05:46 He didn't.
05:48 >> Homie, please, I never ask for much, but this is something I really need.
05:52 >> All right, Marge, I'll get you your nanny.
05:55 And to pay for it, I'll give up the Civil War Recreation Society I love so much.
06:01 >> Well, Homer's out.
06:02 We got to find the new General Ambrose Burnside.
06:05 >> And I'm not too crazy about our Stonewall Jackson.
06:08 >> The south shall come again.
06:12 >> Hello.
06:13 I'm Mrs. Pennyfeather.
06:14 I understand you're looking for a nanny.
06:17 Pleased to meet you.
06:18 >> Wait a minute, Marge.
06:20 I saw Mrs. Doubtfire.
06:22 This is a man in drag.
06:24 You're a rony, making food in broad.
06:28 Get me out.
06:29 >> Homer, if you're going to do this to every applicant, we're never going to find one.
06:32 >> Sorry.
06:33 >> Hello, I'm Mrs. Pennywinkle.
06:35 >> [ Screams ]
06:37 >> I'm here about the nanny job.
06:38 I'll keep a watchful eye on your kids, and if they get out of line, bow.
06:43 >> I like him.
06:44 >> Thanks.
06:45 Where did you keep the liquor?
06:46 >> I hid a bottle of schnapps in the baby's crib.
06:48 >> I'm sorry, young man.
06:49 You're not what we're looking for.
06:51 >> You're telling me you're a blue-haired witch.
06:53 >> I heard that.
06:55 I guess we're not going to find anyone.
06:58 >> We have our own suggestions for the new nanny.
07:00 Would you like to hear them?
07:01 >> You have my undivided attention.
07:04 [ Music ]
07:14 >> Well, I'd like to hear your suggestions.
07:17 >> Maestro, if you please.
07:19 [ Music ]
07:24 >> If you wish to be our sitter, please be sweet and never bitter.
07:32 Help us with math and book reports.
07:36 >> Might I add, eat my shorts.
07:39 >> Bart!
07:40 >> Just cutting through the treacle.
07:42 >> If Maggie's fussy, don't avoid her.
07:46 >> Let me get away with moiter.
07:50 >> Teach us songs and magic tricks.
07:54 >> Might I add, no fat chicks.
07:58 >> Homer!
08:00 >> The nanny we want is kindly and sage.
08:04 >> And one who will work for minimum wage.
08:09 >> Hurry, nanny, things are grim.
08:14 >> I'll do it.
08:16 >> Anyone but him.
08:21 >> Well, that's nice, kids.
08:23 But I don't know where we're going to find anyone like that.
08:30 [ Music ]
08:36 >> Woo, woo, woo!
08:39 [ Music ]
08:48 >> Hello, I'm Sherry Bobbins.
08:50 >> Did you say Mary Poppins?
08:51 >> No, I definitely did not.
08:52 I'm an original creation like Ricky Rouse and Monald Muck.
08:56 Now, as your nanny, I'll do everything from telling stories to changing diapers.
09:01 >> Put me down for one of each.
09:04 >> Now, Miss Bobbins, if you want this job, you're going to have to answer a few questions.
09:09 First, do you have any bad habits?
09:11 >> No, I'm practically perfect in every way.
09:14 >> Well, so am I.
09:16 [ Chomping ]
09:18 [ Burp ]
09:19 >> Ah, okay, question two.
09:23 Who was your last employer?
09:25 >> Lord and Lady Huffington of Sussex.
09:27 >> Arch, do we know them?
09:29 >> No.
09:30 >> Come on, isn't he the guy I bowl with, the black guy?
09:33 >> That's Carl.
09:34 >> Oh, yeah.
09:35 So you work for Carl, eh?
09:37 >> I have a question.
09:38 Pop quiz, hotshot.
09:40 I'm supposed to be doing my homework, but you find me upstairs reading a play, dude.
09:44 What do you do?
09:46 What do you do?
09:48 >> I make you read every article in that magazine, including Norman Mailer's latest
09:52 claptrap about his waning libido.
09:55 >> Oh, she is tough.
09:57 >> Sherry Bobbins, you're just what we're looking for.
10:00 >> Very well.
10:01 Come along, children.
10:03 [ Music ]
10:12 >> My, she seems too good to be true.
10:14 >> I'll say.
10:15 Her butt whacks the banister.
10:17 >> Oh, I can see myself.
10:20 >> All right, children, let's clean up this room.
10:22 >> Oh, man, do we have to?
10:24 >> Now, now, I know a little secret that will make the job go twice as fast.
10:29 [ Music ]
10:30 >> If there's a task that must be done, don't turn your tail and run.
10:35 Don't pout, don't sob.
10:37 Just do a half-assed job.
10:42 If you cut every corner, it is really not so bad.
10:50 Everybody does it, even Mom and Dad.
10:56 If nobody sees it, then nobody gets mad.
11:01 It's the American way.
11:05 [ Music ]
11:22 >> The policeman on the beat needs some time to rest his feet.
11:27 >> Fighting crime is not my cup of tea.
11:31 >> And the clerk who runs the store can charge a little more for meat.
11:37 >> For meat.
11:39 >> And milk.
11:40 >> And milk.
11:42 >> From 1984.
11:50 >> If you cut every corner, you'll have more time for play.
11:57 >> It's the American way.
12:05 [ Music ]
12:12 >> Hi, diddly-ho, Sherry Bobbins.
12:14 >> Yo-ho, Sherry Bobbins.
12:16 >> I picked you some posies, Sherry Bobbins.
12:19 >> Oh, thank you, Nelson.
12:21 >> Aw, jeez.
12:23 [ Music ]
12:28 >> I'm a maniac, maniac, that's for sure.
12:32 And I'm dancing like I've never danced before.
12:36 Gah!
12:38 That's the stuff.
12:41 Yeah, thank you, you ungrateful bass.
12:44 Sherry Bobbins, is that you?
12:46 >> Hello, Willie.
12:47 You know her?
12:48 >> Hey, Sherry Bobbins and I were engaged to be wed back in the old country.
12:53 Then she got her eyesight back.
12:55 Suddenly the ugliest man in Glasgow wasn't good enough for her.
12:58 >> It's good to see you, Willie.
13:00 >> That's not what you said the first time you saw me.
13:04 [ Music ]
13:06 >> Extra, extra, rip a strut, see and watch, Apple.
13:10 >> Boy for sale, boy for sale.
13:16 >> Is this legal, man?
13:18 >> Only here and in Mississippi.
13:20 [ Music ]
13:22 >> Oh, Sherry Bobbins, this is ever so much fun.
13:25 With you, every day is Guy Fawkes Day.
13:28 [ Popping Sound ]
13:30 >> Burr, humbug.
13:32 >> Oh, Mr. Burns, I think you'll find all life's problems just float away when you're flying a kite.
13:37 >> Balderdash, this is the silliest load of poo.
13:41 Look at it fly.
13:42 [ Laughing ]
13:43 Look at me, Smithers.
13:45 I feel practically super-duper-fragically extra.
13:48 [ Explosion ]
13:51 It's this strange sensation in my chest.
13:53 >> I think your heart's beating again.
13:55 >> Oh, that takes me back.
13:57 God bless you, Sherry Bobbins.
14:00 >> That Sherry Bobbins is a miracle worker.
14:03 The kids love her, the house is spotless, and my hair's grown back.
14:07 It's so full and thick it can support a beach umbrella.
14:12 >> Come to bed, Marge.
14:14 >> Oh!
14:15 >> Ooh!
14:16 >> No, no, leave it in.
14:19 [ Laughing ]
14:22 >> It's 8 o'clock, children, time for bed.
14:24 >> But we're not sleepy.
14:26 >> Sing us a song, Sherry Bobbins.
14:28 >> Yeah, sing us a song.
14:29 >> I've been singing you songs all day.
14:31 I'm not a bloody jukebox.
14:34 Oh, all right.
14:36 [ Music ]
14:42 >> In front of a tavern, flat on his face,
14:50 a booze hound named Barney is bleeding his case.
15:01 >> Buy me a beer, two bucks a glass.
15:08 Come on, help me, I'm freezing my ass.
15:15 Buy me, Brandy, a snifter of wine.
15:22 Who am I kidding?
15:26 I'll drink turpentine.
15:33 >> Move it, you drunk, or I'll blast your rear end.
15:40 >> I found two bucks.
15:43 >> Then come in, my friend.
15:50 >> And so let us leave on this heartwarming scene.
15:59 >> Can I be a booze hound?
16:04 >> Not till you're 50.
16:12 [ Music ]
16:16 >> More kippers, Mom?
16:17 >> Oh, thank you.
16:19 >> I can't get enough of this blood pudding.
16:21 >> The secret ingredient is blood.
16:23 >> Blood?
16:25 I'll just stick to the brain and kidney pie, thank you.
16:28 >> I believe my work here is done.
16:30 >> Thank you for everything.
16:32 >> We'll miss you, Sherry Bobbins.
16:34 >> You've changed me as well.
16:36 I'm no longer the money-driven workaholic I once was.
16:40 >> I love you all.
16:47 Do you think I'll never hear those sweet voices again?
16:50 [ Screaming ]
16:55 >> Oh.
17:01 [ Music ]
17:07 >> I'll just unpack my things.
17:09 >> I think we got our umbrella sweat.
17:13 Whee!
17:14 I never felt so alive.
17:22 >> Little more.
17:25 Little more.
17:26 Little more.
17:28 Too much.
17:29 Take it back.
17:32 >> Welcome back to "Before They Were Famous."
17:34 We all know Rainer Wolfcastle is the star of the blockbuster McBain movies.
17:38 But here's his first appearance in a commercial in his native Austria.
17:42 [ Singing ]
17:56 >> Sherry Bobbins, I want another beer.
17:58 >> Well, you know, Homer.
18:01 If there's a job that must be done, you'll find it's much more fun.
18:05 >> You'll find it's even more fun if you get it for me.
18:10 >> But the beer will taste more sweet if you get up off your seat.
18:14 >> Lady, the man asked for a beer, not a song.
18:17 >> Don't read me for some.
18:19 >> Now let's take a look at a young Charles Bronson's brave stint replacing Andy Griffith in "The Andy Griffith Show."
18:25 >> Where's Otis?
18:26 He's not in his cell.
18:27 >> I shot him.
18:28 >> Well, that's -- what?
18:29 >> Now I'm going down to Emmett's fix-it shop to fix Emmett.
18:33 [ Whistling ]
18:43 >> Bart Simpson, this room is a frightful mess.
18:45 >> I'll get right on it.
18:47 >> Bart, don't you remember?
18:49 Cleaning up can be a game.
18:50 >> I got a better game.
18:51 It's called whipping cupcakes.
18:53 [ Grunts ]
18:57 [ Singing ]
19:01 >> With special guest director Quentin Tarantino.
19:04 [ Singing ]
19:19 >> What I'm trying to say in this cartoon is that violence is everywhere in our society.
19:22 You know, it's like even in breakfast cereals, man.
19:24 [ Music ]
19:33 >> Lisa, don't sit in front of that telly like a fly stuck on a toffee.
19:36 It's a great big world out there.
19:38 >> Been there, done it.
19:40 >> I know.
19:41 We could have a tea party on the ceiling.
19:43 >> Shh, TV.
19:45 >> You people will be the death of me.
19:47 [ Gasps ]
19:49 [ Music ]
19:52 >> I'm stranded away again in Margaritaville.
19:55 >> Searching for my lost shaker of salt.
19:59 Oh, here it is.
20:01 [ Crying ]
20:03 >> Oh, that poor woman.
20:05 >> We've crushed her gentle spirit.
20:07 >> You people should be ashamed of yourselves.
20:10 [ Grunts ]
20:13 >> Sherry, you did the best you could, but you can't change this family, and neither can I.
20:19 From now on, I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the ride.
20:23 >> But haven't I taught you people anything?
20:25 >> Nope.
20:26 >> Nope.
20:27 >> Nope.
20:28 >> Nope.
20:29 >> So you like it this way?
20:30 >> Indubitably.
20:32 [ Music ]
20:33 >> Around the house, I never lift a finger.
20:37 As a husband and father, I'm subpar.
20:41 I'd rather drink a beer than win father of the year.
20:45 I'm happy with things the way they are.
20:48 I'm getting used to never getting noticed.
20:52 I'm stuck here till I can steal a car.
20:56 The house is still a mess, and I'm going bald from stress.
21:00 But we're happy just the way we are.
21:04 [ Music ]
21:08 >> They're not perfect, but the Lord says love thy neighbor.
21:11 >> Shut up, Flanders.
21:13 >> Oakley-doakley-doo.
21:15 >> Don't think it's sour grapes, but you're all a bunch of apes.
21:19 And so I must be leaving you.
21:28 [ Music ]
21:31 >> Goodbye, Sherry Bobbins.
21:33 >> Thanks for everything.
21:35 >> So long, Superman.
21:37 >> Do you think we'll ever see her again?
21:39 >> I'm sure we will, honey.
21:42 I'm sure we will.
21:46 [ Music ]
21:50 [ Music ]
21:55 [ Music ]
22:00 [ Music ]
22:05 [ Music ]
22:10 [ Music ]
22:15 [ Music ]
22:20 [ Music ]
22:25 [ Music ]
22:30 [ Silence ]
22:35 [ Music ]