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FunTranscript
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00:09:16 >> If I catch you asleep on the job again, you're out.
00:09:20 Out, out.
00:09:22 Understand?
00:09:25 I'll clean up this tent.
00:09:28 I want everything slick and spanned before the first show.
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00:29:46 We're talking with Jay Grab Freeley, the man who captured a live woolly mammal,
00:29:50 which was thawed out of the frozen Arctic wastelands of Alaska.
00:29:54 Look at that, Mr. Freely.
00:29:56 Glad to be here from the frozen Arctic wastelands of Alaska.
00:30:00 Where can we see this beast?
00:30:02 He's at the Jay Grab Freeley Sideshow at Mission $5.
00:30:06 But I brought a picture of a mammoth so the TV audience can see what this living fossil looks like.
00:30:14 Now here's a special announcement.
00:30:16 The woolly mammoth has just escaped from its cave.
00:30:19 The fierce beast is at large in the city.
00:30:22 The police and the ASPCA are on full alert.
00:30:25 This ferocious prehistoric mammal was last seen in the vicinity of Elm and Walnut Streets.
00:30:30 [MUSIC]
00:30:45 [CRYING]
00:30:48 I just want to go home.
00:30:50 [CRYING]
00:30:53 Will you help me get back home to Alaska?
00:30:57 [MUSIC]
00:31:02 The steamship Alaska Star leaves Pier 6 for Alaska tonight.
00:31:09 Oh, gee, that's swell.
00:31:12 Will you take me to the ship?
00:31:15 [MUSIC]
00:31:25 We're looking for ferocious runaway mammoth.
00:31:27 Any idea where he might be?
00:31:30 That way?
00:31:31 Oh, oh, just as I thought.
00:31:33 Thank you, sir.
00:31:34 You've been very helpful.
00:31:36 [MUSIC]
00:31:40 I'm hungry.
00:31:42 [MUSIC]
00:31:53 One banana.
00:31:55 That'll be five cents.
00:31:57 [MUSIC]
00:32:11 Whee!
00:32:14 [MUSIC]
00:32:29 Thank you.
00:32:31 Whee!
00:32:34 [MUSIC]
00:32:40 Say, are you the escaped woolly mammoth?
00:32:43 Yes, I am.
00:32:45 That's what I thought.
00:32:47 [SCREAMING]
00:32:49 There he goes, after him.
00:32:52 [MUSIC]
00:32:57 A pizza!
00:32:59 [MUSIC]
00:33:01 Pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza.
00:33:05 Pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza.
00:33:09 I got you now.
00:33:11 [MUSIC]
00:33:22 Lucky for me, I had a net to break my fall.
00:33:27 [MUSIC]
00:33:38 My plan is foolproof.
00:33:41 Mammoths being just like elephants, they can't resist Peanuts.
00:33:46 He follows the trail of Peanuts, steps on the ramp, and whammo, the trap is struck.
00:33:54 Oh, oh, that's clever, Mr. Freaking.
00:33:58 He's coming.
00:34:00 [MUSIC]
00:34:04 Peanuts!
00:34:06 [LAUGHING]
00:34:08 He stepped the bait. He just loves Peanuts.
00:34:13 Huh?
00:34:15 [MUSIC]
00:34:29 I'm not late yet.
00:34:32 [MUSIC]
00:34:39 [LAUGHING]
00:34:49 Shhh.
00:34:51 [MUSIC]
00:34:58 Ah-ha!
00:35:01 [MUSIC]
00:35:03 Gotcha!
00:35:05 [MUSIC]
00:35:17 That mammoth ain't going any place without me.
00:35:22 [LAUGHING]
00:35:24 That mammoth ain't going any place without me.
00:35:29 [LAUGHING]
00:35:32 [MUSIC]
00:35:45 Thanks, fellas.
00:35:47 I'm sure gonna miss you.
00:35:50 [MUSIC]
00:36:01 Hey, hey, here's Peanuts. He's gotta be here somewhere.
00:36:04 I'll find him, I'll find him.
00:36:07 Ah-ha!
00:36:09 I'm not late yet.
00:36:12 [MUSIC]
00:36:21 I'm not late yet.
00:36:25 [MUSIC]
00:36:32 I'm not late yet.
00:36:37 [MUSIC]
00:36:42 Now I'm lit.
00:36:45 [MUSIC]
00:36:57 And now for the big event in the wacky world of sports, the decathlon.
00:37:03 The winner of this event is recognized as the greatest athlete in the world.
00:37:07 And the two finalists for seeking this title are...
00:37:11 Tom and Jerry!
00:37:15 [APPLAUSE]
00:37:28 Our contestants are now ready for the first event, tennis.
00:37:33 [MUSIC]
00:37:39 As Jerry waits for the ball, Tom serves a scorcher.
00:37:46 Tom is playing a brilliant game, but Jerry is having a bit of trouble in this first set.
00:37:55 And now the crowd tenses as Tom prepares to serve his famous cannonball shot.
00:38:01 [MUSIC]
00:38:14 The next event will be the pole vault.
00:38:18 And Jerry has asked the officials to raise the bar to 50 feet.
00:38:23 If he clears the bar, he'll beat Tom's record.
00:38:26 [MUSIC]
00:38:33 [LAUGH]
00:38:35 [MUSIC]
00:38:44 He did it!
00:38:46 This is going to be a tough one for Tom to top today.
00:38:50 [MUSIC]
00:39:02 Kung Fu is a first for an event of this kind.
00:39:05 And Tom and Jerry, both masters of the martial arts, should make this an exciting contest.
00:39:13 [MUSIC]
00:39:37 Jerry wins the Kung Fu event!
00:39:41 And now for the flimsy, the hundred-yard dance.
00:39:45 Tom needs this one to catch up with Jerry.
00:39:49 [MUSIC]
00:39:54 Jerry numbers up, and there's the signal to take their places.
00:39:58 On your mark, get set.
00:40:01 [MUSIC]
00:40:13 And Jerry wins in ten seconds flat.
00:40:17 [MUSIC]
00:40:21 And here's real excitement.
00:40:24 The 200-meter freestyle race between our evenly matched contestants.
00:40:31 [MUSIC]
00:40:53 Tom definitely has the advantage in the weightlifting contest.
00:40:57 And Jerry is going to be hard pressed to win.
00:41:01 [MUSIC]
00:41:09 And now, Tom.
00:41:11 What confidence.
00:41:13 What poise.
00:41:15 What power.
00:41:17 [MUSIC]
00:41:25 What a disaster.
00:41:27 [MUSIC]
00:41:29 Jerry is set for the running broad jump.
00:41:32 A lot depends on this one.
00:41:34 And here he goes.
00:41:36 [MUSIC]
00:41:39 A bright jump.
00:41:41 The distance covered measures 14 inches.
00:41:44 [MUSIC]
00:41:54 Tom approaches the starting line.
00:41:57 Limbers up, and he's ready to go.
00:42:01 Tom is really picking up speed.
00:42:04 This could be a new world record.
00:42:06 [MUSIC]
00:42:16 It's the 18th hole.
00:42:18 The score is tied, and Jerry is about to tee off.
00:42:22 It's a great drive.
00:42:25 [MUSIC]
00:42:29 The ball is on the green and rolls to a stop inches away from the cup.
00:42:33 A beautiful shot.
00:42:35 This is an important shot for Tom.
00:42:37 Can he make it?
00:42:40 A great shot.
00:42:42 [MUSIC]
00:43:01 And Jerry wins the match.
00:43:04 The discus throw is the final match of the day.
00:43:08 And it's Tom's only chance to tie the score, or he'll lose the match.
00:43:13 [MUSIC]
00:43:16 Jerry gets set.
00:43:18 The roll.
00:43:20 [MUSIC]
00:43:23 Well, it looks like the match will end in a tie.
00:43:26 Tom should have no trouble beating Jerry's distance of 11 inches.
00:43:31 [MUSIC]
00:43:54 And now for the wrap up in sports.
00:43:57 Although the decathlon should have ended hours ago,
00:44:00 Tom has not yet completed the last event, and there's no telling when he will.
00:44:05 This is your favorite sports station signing off.
00:44:09 Good night, Jerry.
00:44:12 Good night, Tom.
00:44:14 [MUSIC]
00:44:29 All right, all right, on the double, let's go.
00:44:32 Just because this is your first day on the job, don't think you're on a vacation.
00:44:38 I want you to deliver this safe to that house on that hill.
00:44:44 And be sure nothing happens to it, understand?
00:44:48 Now, hop forward.
00:44:50 Hold that barge.
00:44:51 Toast that bale.
00:44:53 [LAUGH]
00:44:54 A little humor there.
00:44:56 Now, I'm going to get some lunch.
00:44:58 Remember, in a looper, and you're through.
00:45:02 [LAUGH]
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00:49:41 Mailman!
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01:02:46 >> Stay out of my cabin.
01:02:49 [MUSIC]
01:02:59 [MUSIC]
01:03:07 >> I am ready.
01:03:09 [MUSIC]
01:03:11 >> See the fish.
01:03:12 [MUSIC]
01:03:16 >> See, pretty, the crab.
01:03:18 [MUSIC]
01:03:20 >> This is your hypnotic horse, McGee.
01:03:23 Well, you might as well give up.
01:03:25 You are in my power.
01:03:27 You are going into a trance.
01:03:30 [MUSIC]
01:03:32 >> You are getting sleepy.
01:03:35 You are asleep.
01:03:37 >> It worked.
01:03:38 He's in my power.
01:03:40 [MUSIC]
01:03:42 >> You will do whatever I command.
01:03:44 [MUSIC]
01:03:46 >> You are a duck.
01:03:48 [MUSIC]
01:04:01 >> Oh, forget that command.
01:04:03 You are now a beaver.
01:04:05 [MUSIC]
01:04:20 >> Listen, you are no longer a beaver.
01:04:22 You are a seal.
01:04:24 [MUSIC]
01:04:36 >> You are Mozy, the whale.
01:04:39 [MUSIC]
01:05:02 [MUSIC]
01:05:30 >> You want to know something?
01:05:32 You really want to know something?
01:05:35 That's the last straw.
01:05:38 Get out of my forest.
01:05:41 [MUSIC]
01:05:49 >> You are in my power.
01:05:51 You are in my power.
01:05:53 [MUSIC]
01:06:03 [MUSIC]
01:06:13 [MUSIC]
01:06:25 >> Welcome to the singles championship match between number one seeded Tom and number two seeded Jerry.
01:06:32 Before the singles finals, we will have a mixed doubles exhibition game.
01:06:37 While the stands are filling, Jerry is warming up.
01:06:54 Wow, look at Jerry return those balls.
01:06:58 That was unbeatable.
01:07:09 The players are through warming up and we are ready for the mixed doubles match.
01:07:14 Jerry's partner is Yvonne Jogalone.
01:07:18 And Tom's partner is Big Bertha.
01:07:22 Jerry and Yvonne have to serve and Jerry will serve to Tom.
01:07:28 Tom returns the serve and Yvonne misses.
01:07:33 But Jerry lobs it back over Big Bertha's head.
01:07:37 >> I got it, I got it.
01:07:40 >> Tag time.
01:07:42 What a smash and Big Bertha returns the ball.
01:07:47 Lob 15 and now Jerry will serve to Big Bertha.
01:07:53 Gizming returned by Big Bertha.
01:07:59 Lob 30 and now Jerry serves to Tom.
01:08:03 And rushes the net.
01:08:05 Tom returns the serve and he rushes the net.
01:08:10 What a volley.
01:08:13 Jerry hits into the net and the score is Lob 40.
01:08:20 This will be match point as Jerry serves to Big Bertha.
01:08:26 Big Bertha smashes Jerry's turn.
01:08:29 Yvonne gets a racket in front of the smash and drops it back over the net.
01:08:33 Tom's playing with it under Yvonne's return.
01:08:36 Great shot.
01:08:37 Tom lobs it over Yvonne's head.
01:08:40 Big Bertha's running back, gets it and delivers a devastating smash.
01:08:48 Match point.
01:08:50 Tom and Big Bertha win the next double.
01:08:53 Tom and Big Bertha are running to shake hands with the losers.
01:09:01 As soon as Tom and Jerry are ready, we'll have the singles championship match.
01:09:09 And now the championship singles match.
01:09:19 Jerry is awaiting Tom's serve.
01:09:26 What a smash.
01:09:28 There's no way Jerry could return that serve.
01:09:38 30-lob.
01:09:39 And now Tom's picking up a ball for his next serve.
01:09:46 Jerry's all set.
01:09:50 Tom drops his serve just over the net.
01:09:54 30-lob.
01:09:56 Tom serves again.
01:09:59 Jerry returns it with a high lob.
01:10:02 Tom's running back.
01:10:03 He doesn't know if it's going to be in or out.
01:10:07 40-lob.
01:10:12 This could be game point.
01:10:15 Jerry returns the serve.
01:10:18 Tom puts a terrific backspin on the ball.
01:10:22 It's going to drop over the net.
01:10:27 Tom wins the first game easily.
01:10:30 With the match refused, Jerry will be serving to Tom.
01:10:44 Now Jerry's ready to serve.
01:10:47 Ball.
01:10:52 Double ball.
01:10:54 Not 15.
01:11:00 Jerry's having trouble with his serve.
01:11:03 Now he's trying an unorthodox serve.
01:11:08 Jerry's ball.
01:11:10 15-all.
01:11:12 Jerry chooses a new rack.
01:11:17 Tom gives Jerry the ball.
01:11:19 And play will resume.
01:11:24 Ball.
01:11:25 Jerry forgot to release the ball.
01:11:28 Double ball.
01:11:30 Tom's point.
01:11:45 Jerry's ready to serve again.
01:11:58 Jerry's point.
01:12:00 This is still anybody's match, folks.
01:12:04 Jerry serves.
01:12:06 Tom slashes it back.
01:12:08 Jerry returns it.
01:12:09 What a volley.
01:12:11 Tom hits a lob.
01:12:12 It's a high one.
01:12:13 Jerry's going back.
01:12:15 He thinks it's going to be out.
01:12:17 It hits inside and takes a high bounce.
01:12:20 Jerry's going to try to get after it.
01:12:22 He's running up through the stands.
01:12:24 He's going at the flagpole.
01:12:29 What a smash.
01:12:31 Now Tom's trying to get under the bounce.
01:12:40 This is a crucial match point, folks.
01:12:43 If Jerry can hold his service for this point, he will be our new singles champion.
01:12:48 Tom stands and has switched to a new racket in an attempt to hold his title.
01:12:54 Jerry serves and rushes it back.
01:12:57 Tom lobs it back.
01:12:58 It's going to be over Jerry's head.
01:13:02 What a return.
01:13:04 It's over Tom's head.
01:13:06 He's going back.
01:13:11 Match point.
01:13:13 Jerry wins.
01:13:14 Jerry's our new singles champion.
01:13:18 [laughter]
01:13:44 [music]
01:13:46 [silence]