No Hard Feelings Funniest Scenes (2023) Jennifer Lawrence
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00 (upbeat music)
00:02 - Hi, can I interest you in some unconditional love?
00:21 Looking for something to slobber on you?
00:23 - Can he help me?
00:24 - Well, he mostly works with the dogs.
00:27 I deal with the people.
00:29 - You have a weird energy.
00:31 - Don't worry, I've been neutered.
00:33 - I want him.
00:34 - Percy, can you help this lady?
00:38 - Mind if I touch your wiener?
00:45 - What?
00:46 - Your dog.
00:47 - Oh, yeah.
00:50 How can I help you?
00:54 - I want to adopt a dog.
00:56 - Oh, yeah.
00:57 (dog whining)
00:59 - It's a cool cartoon.
01:06 - It's anime.
01:07 - Yeah, animated, that's what I said.
01:09 Excuse me, I need your help.
01:12 - Oh, sorry, sorry.
01:13 Okay, what kind of dog are you looking to adopt?
01:16 - Well, I wish I could adopt them all.
01:18 Which is the most (beep) up?
01:19 - The most messed up is Milo.
01:24 This is Milo.
01:26 He's been here the longest.
01:27 He was a drug dog for the state police,
01:31 but they forced him into retirement
01:33 because he got addicted to C-O-C-A-I-N-E.
01:36 - Cocaine?
01:37 (dog barking)
01:38 - Oh, no, Milo!
01:39 Milo, Milo!
01:40 If he hears the word, he gets triggered.
01:44 - Sorry, Milo, I'm fresh out.
01:45 - It's okay, it's okay.
01:49 I'm gonna have to ask you a couple questions
01:51 to make sure you're a suitable candidate.
01:54 - He has to do with everyone, it's the rules.
01:56 - Oh, a little rule follower, huh?
01:58 - Yeah, they're super important.
02:00 - So is there like an office or somewhere private?
02:03 - An office.
02:06 Come right this way.
02:07 - Great.
02:08 - Maddie Barker.
02:11 - I feel so far from you.
02:14 (dog growling)
02:17 (dog growling)
02:20 - Um, spouse?
02:42 - I'm currently single.
02:45 Thank God, too.
02:47 We could just have more fun, you know?
02:48 Be spontaneous.
02:49 - Unmarried.
02:50 Children?
02:53 - No, God, no.
02:54 Too young.
02:55 Having fun still, meeting new people.
02:57 They love that.
02:58 - Childless.
02:59 ♪ Home is dropping ♪
03:04 ♪ Oh ♪
03:05 - I mean, yeah, whatever.
03:05 I've been with girls a couple times.
03:07 - Where's the rest of my seatbelt?
03:09 - It's a lap belt.
03:10 Just pretend you're on an airplane.
03:12 I'll be your flight attendant.
03:14 - Why is the flight attendant flying the plane?
03:16 - Because I've killed the pilot and taken over the plane.
03:19 You're my hostage.
03:20 - Spouse!
03:21 Spouse!
03:22 Spouse!
03:24 Spouse!
03:25 Spouse!
03:26 Spouse!
03:27 - This isn't the way to my house.
03:33 - It's a shortcut.
03:34 ♪ The best is now ♪
03:39 ♪ Said it ain't no joke ♪
03:42 ♪ It's a conscious failure ♪
03:44 ♪ Just do the stroke ♪
03:48 ♪ Don't you take no chances ♪
03:51 - Give me that.
03:51 - What are you doing?
03:52 - Cutting our generation on our phones, huh?
03:55 ♪ Don't you take no chances ♪
03:56 ♪ You can't stop ♪
03:57 ♪ You just ♪
03:58 ♪ Slow to add something ♪
03:59 - We're home.
04:00 ♪ Oh ♪
04:02 ♪ Oh ♪
04:03 ♪ Slow to add something ♪
04:06 - Ooh.
04:07 What you got down there?
04:09 Something for me?
04:11 (screaming)
04:13 (screaming)
04:15 (screaming)
04:25 - Why?
04:29 - You tried kidnapping me!
04:31 - I can't kidnap you, you're 19.
04:33 Grow up.
04:34 - You put me in a van and you took my phone.
04:36 - If I were kidnapping you,
04:38 would I give you all my personal information first?
04:40 - God, why couldn't you have used your (beep) whistle?
04:43 - Why would I have a (beep) whistle?
04:45 - Why do you have (beep) mates?
04:47 Sorry.
04:49 Will you get the hose, please?
04:51 - Oh, it's broken.
04:58 - Is the water on?
04:59 - You have to turn the water on?
05:01 - Are you (beep) with me?
05:02 - I just thought maybe it was our date.
05:03 - The spigot.
05:04 The spigot!
05:05 - Okay.
05:06 Oh.
05:10 (screaming)
05:12 - Stop spraying me with this!
05:14 - I'm sorry, I'm trying to help!
05:16 I'm sorry.
05:17 I'm sorry.
05:20 I'm sorry.
05:24 I'm so sorry, I just didn't know what you were trying to do.
05:27 - I just thought you were hot.
05:29 - You think I'm hot?
05:30 - Yeah.
05:31 I think you're super hot.
05:33 - Maybe we should go on a date then?
05:36 - I'll go throw another dress on.
05:39 - Oh no, I didn't mean now, I meant, you know, tomorrow.
05:43 Like, a real date.
05:45 - Oh.
05:46 Yeah, that's better.
05:49 - Okay.
05:50 Tomorrow then.
05:51 Thank you for the ride.
05:58 Bye.
06:02 Well, there's no lifeguards.
06:09 - Perfect, we can go skinny dipping.
06:10 - Oh, no swimming.
06:13 - Oh, we tried.
06:16 - You know, those rules are more like just suggestions.
06:20 Come on, let's get you out of these Daisy Dukes.
06:24 - Maddie.
06:25 - I'm ugly to you.
06:29 I knew it, I knew it.
06:31 - What?
06:32 No.
06:35 No.
06:37 - Seems like it.
06:38 - No, I...
06:39 I think you're the prettiest person I've ever seen.
06:44 - Really?
06:46 Pretty where?
06:48 Pretty here?
06:55 Pretty here?
07:00 (dramatic music)
07:03 - What about sharks?
07:10 - None here.
07:11 - Jellyfish?
07:13 - Not in season.
07:14 - It's really the lack of lifeguards
07:16 that's causing an issue for me.
07:17 I'm very concerned.
07:18 - Just get the (beep) in here right now.
07:19 - Okay, okay, okay, okay.
07:21 - Come on, I promise nothing's gonna happen.
07:24 - Isn't this how Jaws started?
07:29 (dramatic music)
07:32 - I'm going to trust you.
07:35 - See, it's not so bad.
07:51 - Fuckers!
07:58 (dramatic music)
08:00 - Stop, stop!
08:02 Gary, what the (beep)?
08:03 - Court order for asset seizure.
08:05 You gotta pay your property taxes, Maddie.
08:07 - No, this is a mistake.
08:08 I'm negotiating a payment schedule with them.
08:10 - Well, I guess they're done negotiating.
08:12 - What, so they're taking my car?
08:13 I'm an Uber driver.
08:14 - Not my problem.
08:15 - How the (beep) am I supposed to pay their taxes?
08:17 Just bartending.
08:18 - My problem is that you just went radio silent on me.
08:21 - Is that what this is about?
08:23 - No, I also have a contract with the county,
08:26 but I'm saying a little explanation
08:28 about why I never heard from you again.
08:29 That would have been nice.
08:31 You can't just ghost people.
08:32 Three months is not nothing.
08:33 - It was three months, felt longer.
08:36 In a good way.
08:36 Wait, Gary, please stop.
08:39 You were right, okay?
08:40 My feelings for you were so intense
08:42 that I got scared and freaked out.
08:44 - Is that true?
08:48 - Yes, of course it's true, you big dummy.
08:51 Just last night, I was doing laundry
08:52 and I thought to myself,
08:54 I miss that (beep).
08:57 - I miss hearing about what the Jets were doing wrong.
09:00 What you would do differently if you ran the team.
09:02 - Yeah, that'd be so much better, right?
09:04 - It'd be so much better.
09:06 The other day, I saw a green sock
09:07 and I was like, that's Gary's.
09:10 This feels good.
09:14 Just say my car wasn't here, okay?
09:17 - Yeah.
09:20 You know what?
09:21 I will do that.
09:22 Because it's not gonna be here.
09:26 - What?
09:27 - That's my cousin.
09:28 - Buongiorno.
09:30 - He's from Italy.
09:31 Gary, I swear to God, he's my cousin.
09:34 He's my second cousin.
09:35 It's their culture.
09:36 Have you ever been to Italy?
09:37 - I wanted closure and I got closure, thank you.
09:40 - Gary, come on, it was just a fling.
09:42 - No, no, it wasn't, not to me.
09:44 My sister was right about you.
09:46 (upbeat music)
09:49 (upbeat music)
09:51 (upbeat music)
09:54 (upbeat music)
09:57 (upbeat music)
09:59 (upbeat music)