8 Video Game Weapons You Were Ashamed To Use
Welcome to Tues Your Own Adventure! Join Jules and James as they take look at video game weapons you were ashamed to use!! Put it away. Please.
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00:00 Bloodborne is...
00:01 [Bloodborne noises]
00:02 Start that again.
00:03 Hello all of you little demons, Jules here for WhatCulture.com, back again with another
00:08 episode of the awesomely named and awfully hosted Choose Your Own Adventure, the weekly
00:13 medieval themed format where I, the crown jewels of WhatCulture.com, take a list chosen
00:17 by you, yes you, the person who's trying out a brand new recipe for the first time.
00:22 Go on, add a bit more salt in there.
00:24 That's too much, you've ruined it, chuck it out.
00:26 Yes you get to decide what list I dole out to you each and every week and this week we
00:30 have none other to thank than...
00:34 Soul Helper for their suggestion of video game weapons that you were ashamed to use.
00:40 Now here's the thing, sometimes when it comes to video games you're only as good as the
00:44 tools that you wield and if you aren't getting the right one in the face of evil, well you're
00:48 gonna end up looking like a tool of a very different kind.
00:51 It's not uncommon for video games to provide ever increasingly powerful and over the top
00:55 weapons for players to wield, yet that doesn't stop a fair few devs from using pokers, prodders
01:01 and slashers to humiliate the player base in different ways.
01:04 From being so powerful that other gamers will call you out for using "easy" strats, forcing
01:09 players to rely on these weapons to get them through a rough patch, or being just so downright
01:13 embarrassing that you'd not want to be caught dead holding them, sometimes the weapon you
01:16 picked up ended up becoming a mark of shame on your soul forever.
01:20 So let's take a look at them as I'm Jules, this is WhatCulture.com, and these are 8 video
01:24 game weapons that you were ashamed to use.
01:27 And you know the drill by now, say hi to me here in the live chat and put your suggestions
01:30 for next week's episode down in the comments section below.
01:34 8.
01:35 Model 1887 Akimbo
01:37 Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2
01:39 Now when it comes to the Call of Duty franchise, the list of video game weapons that you're
01:44 either a dick for using or should be ashamed to use is pretty large.
01:48 It could have been a list all by itself, such as the developer's almost surgical ability
01:53 to put in shooters, spooters and spirit kickers with big booters into this franchise and then
01:58 just walk away with an apathetic shrug as the player base melts from within.
02:02 You've got your nukes, you've got your bouncing betties, you've got your ballistic knives,
02:06 and of course you've got your noob tubes, which in all honesty I was going to put on
02:10 this list because A) they are the literal embodiment of kills with no skills, and B)
02:14 the name "noob tube" alone really should make anyone ashamed to use them.
02:18 But then I remembered the Model 1887.
02:21 And I died inside.
02:23 Or to be more specific, I remember the moment that I got killed from nearly halfway across
02:27 the bloody map by a player dual wielding these supposed shotguns and then muttering to myself
02:32 "God has forsaken us".
02:34 This one moment was then forced through a kaleidoscope of pain in which nearly every
02:38 player began to rely on this loadout, utterly killing the competitive scene for months and
02:43 months.
02:44 And you know what the worst part of all of this was?
02:46 The shame.
02:47 But the shame didn't come from using these weapons to just kill players over and over
02:51 again, it was the fact that because the competitive scene had been shaped so drastically by this
02:55 akimbo loadout, it meant that you were forced to use them.
02:58 So you basically just had to sigh and say "I guess I'm as bad as this absolute trough
03:04 of humanity right now".
03:05 Shame.
03:06 Shame on you.
03:07 7.
03:08 Phantom - Soul Blade
03:09 Okay, so let's get something clear right out of the gate.
03:12 Soulcalibur as a franchise is a very wild ride indeed.
03:15 I mean, you've got your grab bag of fantasy tropes, you've got more jiggle and juggle
03:20 physics enough so to make Newton's third law of motion feel absolutely ridiculed, and
03:25 of course you've got all of the crazy weapons that the combatants bring to the table.
03:29 And of all of these stabbers, slicers and skewering weapons, there are of course some
03:33 incredibly weird ones.
03:34 And while it would be easy to talk about the joke weapons that nearly every title includes,
03:38 none of them really make the user feel ashamed.
03:41 In fact, the only shame likely being felt is if you end up pasting your opponents with
03:45 them.
03:46 The Phantom Blade, from the original Soul Blade, definitely hits different.
03:50 And by that I mean that it's an invisible weapon, so feels incredibly cheap to use,
03:54 and if you did use it, you should feel ashamed.
03:56 That's right, Huang over here gets access to a weapon that not only is completely invisible,
04:01 making it harder for your opponent to react to your attacks, but is also 3 feet longer
04:05 than his original weapon, meaning that you can attack your foe without them being able
04:08 to know where your reach even extends to.
04:11 As you can imagine, this is the lowest of the low, the cheapest of the cheap, and if
04:15 you use this against an opponent, you should feel very, very ashamed.
04:19 Like proud owner of all of the Extreme Beach Volleyball spin-off games, ashamed.
04:24 Yeah, I know that one.
04:26 6.
04:27 Nearly every magic spell - Elden Ring
04:30 Oh Elden Ring, you really are a horrific mess of a masterclass, aren't you?
04:36 This truly seems like the moment that FromSoft just threw their hands up in the air and said
04:40 "You know what, fine, have it all", as with its plethora of memorable boss battles,
04:45 a staggering amount of environments, and almost overwhelming build possibilities, Elden Ring
04:50 is a game both brilliant, beautiful, and brutal in equal measure.
04:54 But one of the funniest things to keep track of has been the patch notes for this title,
04:58 which routinely have come along and attempted to nerf a new popular build that is doing
05:01 the rounds, which have somehow twisted the game into a horrible monster that can somehow
05:06 kill end-game bosses in moments.
05:08 I'm looking at you, Dark Reaper bleed build with Blood Flame which kills Mileena in SEVEN
05:13 SECONDS.
05:14 And yet of all of these incredible builds, there has been one that many just simply turned
05:18 their noses up instantly because of its sheer cheese factor.
05:21 I'm speaking of course about the majority of magic builds, mainly those that utilise
05:25 spells like Rock Sling or Comet Azure, which can utterly melt bosses with just one or two
05:30 clicks of a button.
05:31 Now don't get me wrong, there is some pleasure to be gained from watching your friend struggle
05:35 against a boss for hours and hours on end, only to just walk up and be like "HADOUKEN".
05:40 Phew, that was a tough battle, I'll tell you that much.
05:44 I almost had to click twice.
05:46 But it's definitely cheesy, and you should definitely feel ashamed for doing that.
05:50 These types of build definitely come with a caveat from the community, which is a millstone
05:54 of shame worn heavy around the neck of anyone looking for an easy ride, meaning that yes,
05:59 technically you are the mage of the age, but you're still a scrub in the eyes of Elden
06:03 Ring purists.
06:04 Hey look, I don't make the rules.
06:06 5.
06:07 Farsight XR20 - Perfect Dark
06:10 Now sometimes a video game weapon will come along that is so overwhelming and offensively
06:14 overpowered that it will actually shape the way the game itself is played around it.
06:19 And that is definitely what happened for the case of the Farsight in Perfect Dark.
06:24 I say this because the moment that players learned of the spawn location of this absolute
06:28 friendship ender, every match would devolve into a rush towards that hotspot.
06:32 And that's because the Farsight's ability to be both one of the most powerful sniper
06:36 rifles in the game and was able to, oh yeah let me check my notes here, see through F***
06:40 walls made it a must have.
06:42 Yes, that's right, the cheapest of cheap tactics was now totally viable and also included
06:47 by the developer, thanks to this game.
06:49 And as you might expect, it ruined pretty much any couch multiplayer session if even
06:53 one of your mates knew of its location and had even a modicum of skill.
06:57 How could you not feel even a shred of guilt while using a gun that basically takes the
07:01 concept of a fair fight and throws it out of the bloody window?
07:04 And what makes this even funnier is that there's actually defenders of this gun out there that
07:08 are just like "Oh no mate, but you still need skill to use it, it's a sniper rifle,
07:13 so you've still got to use skill to use it mate, it's not that overpowered really is
07:17 it?"
07:18 Oh come on mate, come on, you are lying to yourself right now.
07:21 Not even that Lynx Gift body spray set that Inan gave you at Christmas is covering up
07:26 the stinky and ridiculous stench of shame that covers your body.
07:31 It's not happening.
07:32 4.
07:33 Oddjob's Hat - 007 Nightfire
07:35 Now in recent years, the creators of the almighty 007 GoldenEye have gone on record to state
07:42 that yes, finally, categorically, that using Oddjob in the multiplayer mode is counted
07:48 as cheating, because of his small stature means that it's just much harder to aim at
07:52 him.
07:53 So yes, it is cheating.
07:54 But it's not the entry on this list today.
07:57 Oh no, because that's a character, not a weapon.
08:00 But his hat is.
08:01 Yes, that's right, Oddjob has actually ruined two 007 video games thanks to 007 Nightfire,
08:07 which allowed people to not only play as the character once more, but now had access to
08:10 his unique weapon, his hat.
08:13 This one-hit kill weapon soon became an utter nightmare for other players, as with incredible
08:17 range and near perfect accuracy, basically meant that you had a free kill just waiting
08:21 to be used with each respawn.
08:23 Therefore I ask you, James, what is worse than a cheater?
08:26 I'd probably say hay fever.
08:30 Or the collapse of the British government.
08:33 I was hoping you'd say double cheater.
08:35 But that's more depressing.
08:37 Thank you for that.
08:38 As here you not only have prior backing from the devs that Oddjob comes with a rather "okay
08:42 go on then, be that guy" vibe, but here also now has the caveat of "oh okay, we're
08:47 just not friends anymore, special weapon.
08:49 Shame.
08:50 Shame on you."
08:51 3.
08:52 The Alien Rectifier - Saints Row 4
08:54 I mean, you can see why this one's on this list, right?
08:57 You can see why the Alien Rectifier is on a list of weapons that you should be ashamed
09:01 for using.
09:02 Because nowhere using this weapon skill paints you in a good light.
09:06 You walk up to a person, forcibly insert it into their bottom, turn them into a human-pinned
09:11 yarta that is full of explosives, and then just fire them off into the sky, or into a
09:15 crowd of unsuspecting civilians.
09:17 You are not the hero of this story, my friend.
09:19 This reeks of shame.
09:21 I mean, how would you explain this if your parents walked in?
09:24 Plus the fact that there are many, many other weapons to use in this game that are much,
09:28 much less humiliating for your opponent, and therefore means that you've actively chosen
09:32 this as a means for someone's death, and you should feel ashamed.
09:35 Now don't get me wrong, we've all used it at least once, and I can't imagine anyone
09:38 doing so without a ridiculous smile on their faces, but that somehow makes it even worse
09:42 that we carry a collective shame at being so utterly and needlessly cruel with this
09:47 weapon.
09:48 And if you're looking for any more reason as to why it's on this list, then just remember
09:50 as well, this is a DLC weapon, which means that you paid for this.
09:54 You monster.
09:55 2.
09:56 The Wooden Shield - Bloodborne
09:58 So let's face facts.
10:00 When it comes to utterly brutal FromSoftware experiences, Bloodborne is definitely *weird
10:05 noise*
10:06 It's gonna be up there.
10:07 It's gonna be up there.
10:10 Presenting a huge departure from what fans are growing to expect from the likes of Dark
10:14 and Demon's Souls, Bloodborne basically walked up, slapped your turtle-poking fighting style
10:20 in the face, and then pulled your trousers down for good measure.
10:22 This was a schoolyard bully of a video game that told you that everything you'd relied
10:27 on in the past was not gonna serve you an ounce in this gothic nightmare.
10:31 Here you needed to duck, dive, dodge, and drink so much body juice that you'd end up
10:34 resembling a blood-filled balloon.
10:36 And anything less was death, and the devs even made a huge point of this with the inclusion
10:41 of the wooden shield.
10:42 Now while not technically a weapon in a traditional sense, you can still hit your enemy with it,
10:46 which means you can deal damage, which means, oh, evil finger temple of doom, is it?
10:51 It's on the list.
10:52 And I'm also including it because this shield utterly reeks of shame.
10:55 More so than throwing dung pies at enemies in Dark Souls.
10:58 More so than spamming S-Doc hits on Dark Souls 3 to stunlock opponents.
11:02 More so than having to call in support for bloody pinwheel.
11:04 As here this shield not only slows your movement while in use, but barely blocks any damage
11:08 in the first bloody place.
11:10 Yet the greatest mark of shame comes from the item description.
11:14 Shields are nice, but not if they engender passivity.
11:16 Ouch, my pride.
11:19 1.
11:20 The Sexy Beam - Silent Hill 3
11:22 The Sexy Beam.
11:25 The Sexy Beam.
11:29 The Sexy Beam.
11:31 Even saying that name aloud should give you a pretty strong indication that things are
11:34 about to go off the rails, and boy howdy is both the act of unlocking this secret weapon
11:39 in Silent Hill 3 and then using it in battle an absolute rollercoaster.
11:43 Now as you might expect, as Silent Hill 3 is a survival horror game, it's not one to
11:48 dole out the meaty weapons from the outset, preferring instead to keep you on your toes
11:52 as monsters of all sizes try to take a nibble on them.
11:55 You let go of my big toe.
11:56 You stop it now.
11:57 You stop it now.
11:58 You stop it now.
11:59 Ow.
12:00 I've lost it now.
12:01 Brilliant.
12:02 Good.
12:03 However, should the player persevere with the pretty tough challenge of killing 333
12:05 monsters to unlock the Heather Beam and then using the transform costume item, then they
12:09 will be rewarded with the most powerful weapon in the game, the Sexy Beam.
12:14 So far so sexy, right?
12:16 Well no, because have you ever used it in the video game?
12:21 Have you ever forced a teenage girl to pose in a suggestive manner while she whispers
12:26 sexy beam?
12:29 And shoots lasers out of her face?
12:31 I mean admittedly, the laser thing, cool.
12:33 Everything else, pure cringe, mate.
12:35 You should be ashamed of being caught using this.
12:38 I feel like it should put you on a registry.
12:40 It's just kind of like, sexy.
12:41 Oh, there's the cops.
12:43 Sick.
12:44 And there we go, my friends.
12:45 Those were eight video game weapons that you were ashamed to use.
12:48 I hope that you enjoyed that and please let me know what you thought about it down in
12:52 the comments section below.
12:53 And if you want to chat to me further on the social medias, you can do so over on Twitter
12:56 @RetroJay, but the O is a zero and James Downs is putting his meme-filled rants over here
13:02 at the side.
13:03 Go follow him as well.
13:04 He's a good boy, believe it or not.
13:06 But before I go, I just want to say one thing.
13:08 Even though we detailed today about video game weapons that you were ashamed to use,
13:12 I just want to talk about the concept of shame, regret, and mistakes that we've made in the
13:16 past in a more positive manner.
13:17 We are human.
13:18 We all make mistakes and you should try to forgive yourself for mistakes that you've
13:22 made in the past.
13:23 And if you have the capacity to do so, to forgive people who've wronged you as well.
13:27 Trust me, if you can go on with love in your heart instead of anger, you'll be able to
13:31 build bridges instead of burning them.
13:33 You will go on to live a healthy and happy life and that is all I want for you, alright?
13:37 You're a massive ledge and you deserve the best.
13:40 Now go up there and utterly smash it.
13:42 I love ya, ya big ledge.
13:44 As always, I've been Jules, you have been awesome.
13:47 Never forget that.
13:48 I'll speak to you soon.