Dirks Pest Control | movie | 2023 | Official Clip
Two down-on-their-luck employees of an unsuccessful pest control service, arrive late to a job at their only paying cust | dG1fOFYwWWFBX0NCcXM
Category
π₯
Short filmTranscript
00:00 *Crickets*
00:06 Good morning! This is 104.2 FM.
00:09 It's currently 10.27 in the morning, and if you're only just waking up, you are a useless member of society.
00:15 This next song is for all you lazy bastards out there.
00:18 *Music*
00:23 *Phone rings*
00:29 Hello?
00:31 Hello? Are you boys coming? It's nearly 10.30.
00:34 Yeah, of course, but I thought you said it was 10.30.
00:37 It is 10.30.
00:38 Yeah, yeah, that's what I thought I said. Gotta go now. Bye!
00:42 We gotta go.
00:46 *Music*
00:56 Let's ride.
00:58 *Alarm*
01:10 We've really done it this time.
01:11 Yeah, I know.
01:13 And Mr. Dawley's our only customer.
01:15 I thought I told you to set an alarm.
01:17 I did!
01:18 I think.
01:19 Anyways, if Derek gets here before us, I'm going to flip.
01:24 Well, I love Derek. He taught me how to ride a bike.
01:27 No! Derek is our rival. No conspiring with the enemy.
01:32 Why do you hate Derek so much?
01:34 *Demonic voice*
01:44 Dude, are you okay?
01:46 Am I okay? I'm 17. I dropped out of school on a whim to start a pest control business.
01:53 You are my only friend, and we only have one paying customer.
01:58 We don't even make enough to pay our rent.
02:01 Does it sound like I'm okay?
02:03 Are we in McDonald's?
02:11 *Music*
02:30 Oh, hello boys. I didn't think you'd come.
02:32 Sorry about that Mrs. Dawley, but we're here now and ready to start the fumigation.
02:36 Oh, uh, would you boys like a cookie?
02:39 Uh, no thanks. We're just here to do a job.
02:40 Well, about that. You're fired.
02:44 What?
02:46 Well, would you like a cookie?
02:49 What do you mean we're fired?
02:51 Three weeks in a row you've arrived late, and you've not completed the job each time.
02:58 I've got a new exterminator now, and he's lovely.
03:02 Derek! You, you can't be serious. That guy's an absolute jerk.
03:07 He's lovely. Here, have a cookie.
03:11 Wait, so you call us out here to tell us we've been replaced, and then you offer us cookies?
03:17 Of course I want one, but I'm not happy about it.
03:20 Dude, this sucks. Derek just took our only client.
03:28 It's alright. At least we still have each other, right?
03:31 At least we still have each other.
03:32 At least we still have each other!
03:34 At least we still have each other!
03:36 It's loser talk, Randy! You wanna be a loser?
03:39 No!
03:40 Say that we're not losers!
03:41 We're not losers! We're not losers!
03:43 Dude, it's so over.
03:46 You know, maybe it's not over yet.
03:49 What if we get rid of Derek?
03:51 Suck it, Lumbergers.
03:54 I think I might have a plan.
04:02 Hello! We're here to fix your plumbing.
04:06 Hey, Derek and Randy.
04:09 No, no, no. My name is the...
04:13 Mario. Yes, Mario. And this is my apprentice, Linguini.
04:19 Yes, we're here to do your plumbing.
04:21 So just let us in, and we can fix your toilet.
04:26 No.
04:27 Wait, wait. We're gonna clean your house, or cook you a meal.
04:33 Get off of my property.
04:37 Okay.
04:39 Oh, man. It's okay. I still have another plan.
04:43 So first, we have to... we...
04:46 Derek?
04:49 Derek, Derek, Derek, are you okay?
04:55 Keep me off.
04:57 I'm gonna need mouth-to-mouth.
05:03 Derek?
05:09 No!
05:15 Wait a minute. Dude, we won.
05:19 We won!
05:20 That's what's up!
05:22 That's what's up!
05:25 Who's the nutburger now?
05:27 This is the life.
05:37 You said it, Randy.
05:41 [Randy's house]
05:43 [Randy's house]
05:45 [Randy's house]
05:50 [Randy's house]
06:02 [Randy's house]
06:04 [Randy's house]
06:10 [Randy's house]
06:15 (upbeat music)