Our Almost Completely True Story Movie
Our Almost Completely True Story Movie
Transcript
00:00 (upbeat music)
00:02 - You shop here often?
00:04 - I do.
00:05 - Target's cheaper.
00:06 - Don't harass my customers.
00:07 This is my buddy, Jerry.
00:09 How's the dating going?
00:10 - Oh God, I hate it.
00:12 I should've stayed married.
00:14 Oh my God.
00:15 - In your dreams.
00:16 - Okay, give me one good reason
00:18 why she wouldn't go out with you.
00:18 - You're five-four.
00:20 She's beautiful.
00:21 She's famous.
00:22 - I said one.
00:23 - Oh, I hate this.
00:25 - Of course you hate it.
00:26 You're supposed to hate it.
00:26 Come on, fill it out.
00:27 - There are predators out there.
00:29 They call them catfish.
00:30 Am I coming in?
00:32 - I don't think so.
00:32 - Dark chocolate is really high on antioxidants.
00:38 - It's also an aphrodisiac.
00:41 - Not necessarily.
00:42 - Can we have a box for the swordfish?
00:45 - Where's your helper today?
00:46 - Oh, Jerry.
00:47 He doesn't work here.
00:48 - Oh, say hi.
00:49 - She said to say hi.
00:51 To me.
00:52 - He carried a bag of bird seed for me.
00:54 - Guy doesn't carry a bag of bird seed for just anyone.
00:57 - How many voices do you do?
00:58 - 63.
01:00 - But I'm gonna save some for our next date.
01:03 - This is my mom and Jerry.
01:05 My dad and his new wife, Madeline.
01:07 - Hello there.
01:08 - I didn't know that he had remarried.
01:10 You're two old, unemployed actors.
01:15 - I'm on hold.
01:16 - Can you do a date on Woody Allen?
01:17 - Can I do a date on Woody Allen?
01:20 Well, you know, for a man of my gender, you know, it's--
01:24 - Have you ever tried a whole day just being you?
01:27 - Once, 26 minutes.
01:29 - I have to do it alone.
01:30 - Why?
01:31 - Is it cold in here?
01:33 - This is different.
01:36 I love her.
01:37 - Have you been here all night?
01:38 - I was.
01:39 - You look awful.
01:40 - Thank you.
01:41 - I lived by myself for 10 years.
01:43 And suddenly, I'm with you.
01:46 - I guess I just get scared.
01:48 - Try and be gentle with yourself.
01:51 - I guess you better stay, huh?
01:53 - Okay.
01:54 (gentle music)
01:58 (gentle music)
02:00 (piano chord)