Goofy-How to Play Football
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FunTranscript
00:00 [music]
00:23 How to play football. Football needs special equipment. A college covered with ivy, a coliseum or stadium filled to overflowing with a hundred thousand rabid, wildly cheering fans,
00:35 great armies of vendors, managers, mascots, photographers, sports writers, doctors, elaborate brass bands, assorted coaches, old grads, scores of Annie Oakleys,
00:46 and two teams resplendent in brilliant uniforms create a riot of color and atmosphere unequaled by any other game on earth.
00:53 Now the object of the game is to pass the ball over the goal line at the opposing team by hook or crook.
01:00 Eleven men are on either team, two ends, and that's how the game is played.
01:06 Now the teams line up for the kickoff. The referee blows his whistle, and the game is on.
01:11 It's a long, high end-over-end kick over the end zone into the arms of Swivel Hip Smith, that great all-American star triple-frets cat-back.
01:18 Look at him go. They can't touch him. He can really carry the man, that boy. Look at that open field runner. Look at that straight arm.
01:23 He's away, and he's over for a touchdown.
01:26 Well, it isn't often you see this happen, 105 yards to a touchdown on the opening kickoff.
01:32 Now here's the try for the extra point, and the kick is good, and the score is 7-0.
01:39 Here comes Swivel Hip Smith out of the game. Listen to that cheer.
01:44 The coach is saving Smith. He's not taking any chances with his star player.
01:49 Back to the game. Taxidermy Tech kicks off to Anthropology A&M.
01:53 But the ball is fumbled, yes, and now it's Taxidermy Tech's ball.
01:56 They go into a huddle. The quarterback, or field general, looks over the defense and decides which number to call.
02:02 They come quickly out of the huddle. The line shifts into position. The quarterback barks his signals.
02:10 The backfield shifts. The ball is snapped. The quarterback fakes it to halfback, gives it to fullback,
02:15 and the front foul drives through center for a gain of 8 yards.
02:20 And that quarterback's a smart boy.
02:24 Oh! All right, all right, signals! 18, 29, 37, 63, 54, 99.
02:31 The team's working like a well-oiled machine.
02:36 It's a double wing back to the right from an unbalanced line. A man in motion.
02:39 The halfback's got it off tackle, and he's smeared for a 9-yard loss. What a dumb quarterback.
02:45 To the spectator, football may appear rather rough at times, but in reality, it's a character-building game.
02:52 All right, taxidermy's ball. Third down and 11 to go. DeGrotte has the ball. He gives it to Gershman.
02:57 No, Sibley's got it. There it goes to right. No, no, it's a fake. A hidden ball.
03:01 Criss-cross, cross, buck-end, around, double lateral, razzle-dazzle, spinner, split-buck.
03:05 And he's in the clear.
03:11 Uh-oh, there's a penalty on the play. It's against taxidermy tech.
03:16 One, two, three, four, five, 15 yards for unnecessary roughness.
03:22 Now, it's fourth down and 26 to go for TNT. The quarterback is worried.
03:26 The coach radiates confidence.
03:30 The quarterback decides to kick.
03:35 It's blocked.
03:38 No, he got it away. It's a high spiral.
03:41 The safety man's under it.
03:45 He muffed it. It's a loose ball. Number 48's in fast.
03:48 Sputter fingers. Moose Williams got it. He had it. Now, DeGrotte missed it.
03:51 Seaborn boots it to the 50. There it goes to the 35. It's a text ball.
03:54 No, wow, right wrenched it away, and it's A&M's. No, everybody dropped it. Nobody's got it.
03:59 A hundred-yard fumble, a free ball over Tex goal line. But here comes Nordberg.
04:02 He's recovering the old porkskin for a six. What a play.
04:07 The teams line up for the try for the extra point.
04:10 There's the kick, and it's blocked.
04:16 Anthropology A&M receives, and they're nailed on the 25-yard strike.
04:22 What's the quarterback going to call?
04:24 It looks like a pass. It is a pass.
04:27 Geronimy fades back, cocks his arm, rifles a bullet pass into the flat.
04:35 It's intercepted by Anthropology.
04:38 Here's the 40-yard marker, the 30, the 20, the 10, and he's over for a touchdown.
04:48 There's the try for the extra point.
04:51 It's good, or is it? Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, and there's the gun ending the half.
04:59 Well, here's one for the books.
05:01 The officials put their heads together. They reach their decision.
05:04 And the score at the end of the half, Taxidermy 7, Anthropology 12 and 1/2.
05:11 T-A-X-I-D-E-R-M-Y, T-A-X-I-D-E-R-M-Y, T-A-X-I-D-E-R-M-Y, Taxidermy, Taxidermy, Taxidermy.
05:29 During the half, the players are allowed to relax.
05:32 The coach, who is a master of psychology, points out their weaknesses.
05:36 To prevent overconfidence, he shames them.
05:39 Arouses their school spirit, a man of many moods, now threatening, now pleading, a saint, a devil.
05:47 He has varied and subtle ways of appealing to their sympathy.
05:50 Now get out there and fight!
05:52 Back on the field, the second half's about to start.
05:55 Smith's going in. Listen to that cheer.
05:58 There's the kick. Swivel hips is on it.
06:01 Most of Anthropology's close in, but he breaks away.
06:03 10, 20, 30, look at him go. 40, 50, they can't stop him.
06:06 Listen to that crowd. 60, 70, 80, look at that straight arm.
06:09 He's in the clear. 90, 95, and he's over for a...
06:12 Wow! He's hit and hit hard.
06:15 This is a real blow to the coach.
06:17 They're taking Smith out. It's a tough break for the team.
06:21 They're working on swivel hips Smith.
06:23 Tech is snowed under by a wave of tackle.
06:28 The coach is feverishly trying to revive Smith.
06:31 Time is running out, and taxidermy is up against a stone wall.
06:39 Desperately, they work on old swivel. Only time for one more play.
06:41 Look, it's Smith on his feet. He's going in. The crowd goes wild.
06:43 Anything can happen. The team's fired up. Here's the play.
06:45 Smith's got the ball. He's away. Look at that blocking.
06:50 Smith reverses the field. They're clearing the way. Not a man on his feet.
06:53 Smith cuts back. The crowd is hysterical.
06:56 It's Smith tightroping down the sideline. Smith breaks into the clear.
06:59 But look, there's an anthropology man on his feet one second ago.
07:01 What a game! And here comes a tackler. Run, Smith, run!
07:05 Smith's tired, having trouble with the ball. The A&M man is gaining.
07:08 He leaves his feet. Look out! Look!
07:12 There's the final gun, and Smith wins for taxidermy. Tech by half a point.
07:20 To the coach goes the real credit.
07:25 It's his clear thinking and calm, level-headed reasoning that makes football the great game it is today.
07:31 (music)