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00:00 [THEME MUSIC]
00:03 [THEME MUSIC]
00:07 [THEME MUSIC]
00:36 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:38 This story takes place within the borders
00:40 of a great, enlightened, and civilized country.
00:44 This is the story of a certain city
00:48 and what it did about this common curse that
00:50 plagued the land.
00:52 This is the story of Annenberg, USA.
00:57 Now, the traffic situation in Annenberg was normal enough,
01:01 certainly no worse than in any similar community.
01:06 But what was a little different in Annenberg
01:08 was a certain growing feeling of dissatisfaction
01:11 with their traffic troubles.
01:12 Homicide on the highways was increasing at a startling rate.
01:20 And the Annenbergers found that they were
01:22 becoming somewhat annoyed.
01:24 In fact, good and sore.
01:29 It was very obvious to them who was at fault, the automobile.
01:34 And so the automobile was placed on trial for its life.
01:39 Will the prosecutor proceed with a cross-examination?
01:43 Ladies and gentlemen, behold, on the stand
01:48 the representative of this criminal band.
01:52 You are an automobile, are you not?
02:01 I-- well, I--
02:04 Answer the question, you rattling old pot.
02:07 Your Honor, I beg leave to consult with the witness.
02:11 These legal proceedings are scaring him witless.
02:14 Objection!
02:16 Permission is granted.
02:18 Now, calm yourself, Lizzie.
02:21 Don't get in a tizzy.
02:23 The judge is supposed to be in neutral.
02:25 But is he?
02:28 Come, come.
02:29 Enough of this coddling.
02:30 I've got to be, uh, toddling.
02:34 Isn't it the absolute truth that you
02:38 roared through a 20-mile zone, flagrantly making
02:42 of our speed laws a mockery?
02:44 That you then did crash into a restaurant
02:46 and smash all the crockery?
02:50 And that you then did callously sneak away,
02:53 leaving behind our shambles?
02:57 And ruined digestion?
03:00 Well, yes, I--
03:02 I guess I--
03:03 Your witness.
03:05 No questions.
03:07 Next witness.
03:09 And now, I've placed upon the stand a culprit
03:14 known as Sportscar.
03:16 His crime?
03:22 Just guzzling alcohol and spitting flames.
03:26 And that's far from all.
03:29 He takes delight in burning rubber, screeching tires,
03:38 and racing as if off to fire.
03:42 Do you deny these things are so?
03:45 Yeah, man, I guess you ought to know.
03:49 A hopeless case beyond suggestions.
03:53 Your witness now, sir.
03:55 No questions.
03:57 [LAUGHS]
04:00 And next, ladies and gentlemen, gaze upon this decrepit old
04:07 heap.
04:09 He's got only one eye and no brakes at all.
04:14 And just enough power to creep.
04:18 Just hear how he rattles.
04:22 Observe his worn tires.
04:25 [TIRES SCREECHING]
04:27 He's the type every safety test shuns.
04:32 I turn this renegade over to you.
04:35 Do you wish to examine him now, sir?
04:39 No questions.
04:41 And now, give ear to the testimony
04:45 of those dedicated, devoted men who
04:48 tried to help the automobile.
04:50 Let them proceed with the testimony.
04:53 I built the cars with bodies of steel.
04:57 And I invented the safety wheel.
05:00 We developed safety tires.
05:03 And windshield wipers the law required.
05:06 I'm the father of safety glass.
05:10 We strove for safety.
05:12 But alas, accidents continue to grow.
05:17 And so the automobile has got to go.
05:23 Go!
05:24 Go!
05:24 Go!
05:25 Go!
05:27 Mr. Cyrus P. Slide Rule of the Bureau of Highways,
05:32 would you please tell us, sir, of your department's
05:35 valiant efforts to pave the way for safety for the automobile?
05:40 I used my brains and hired some brawn.
05:44 We labored late from early dawn, leveling hills,
05:49 straightening byways, building concrete superhighways.
05:54 We posted them with helpful signs,
05:57 divided them with curbs and lines.
06:00 My roads were perfect, I must confess.
06:03 But those miserable autos made them all a mess.
06:07 [LAUGHTER]
06:09 Yes, yes, we know only too well what happened
06:12 on your beautiful highways.
06:15 To the automobile's depraved mind,
06:19 these perfect roads were an invitation
06:22 to open the throttle, step on the gas.
06:26 They took delight in following dangerously close
06:28 behind each other with spectacular and disastrous
06:33 results.
06:34 [CRASHING]
06:36 [CRASHING]
06:39 Oh, there's only one end to this tale of woe.
06:44 The automobile has got to go.
06:47 [CRASHING]
06:51 Ladies and gentlemen, I rest my case.
06:56 I know you will bring in without delay a verdict of duty.
07:02 And now, what has the attorney for the defense got to say?
07:12 With your indulgence, I'll set the scene.
07:15 Please gaze upon my magic screen.
07:19 Now, what appears before your eyes?
07:22 A speeding automobile, would you surmise?
07:24 Let's fade the car out, if we can.
07:27 And what's revealed?
07:29 A speeding man.
07:30 OK, baby, let's see if we can do 90.
07:33 Hm?
07:34 Can't let that train beat me to the crossing.
07:37 Come on, come on.
07:39 Clear the road.
07:41 Little does this chap realize he's heading
07:44 straight towards his demise.
07:46 [CRASHING]
07:50 Your car's body is made of steel.
07:53 But alas, frail human bodies are harder to heal.
07:59 Now, would you call this car drunk?
08:02 No, sir, not at all.
08:04 It's the people inside it who've had alcohol.
08:07 [CHANTING]
08:11 [GASP]
08:11 [CHANTING]
08:15 To mix alcohol with driving is rash.
08:17 Note the result, the inevitable--
08:20 [CRASH]
08:24 Now, here's the police lineup.
08:27 All violators.
08:29 Look 'em over.
08:31 Ordinary citizens.
08:33 OK, take this one.
08:36 What's the charge?
08:38 Reckless driving, two counts.
08:40 Looks harmless.
08:42 Well, take another look.
08:44 Here's how harmless he is.
08:46 [CRASHING]
08:50 Take this sweet young thing.
08:53 The charge, hit and run.
08:56 Now, take a closer look.
08:59 Could be shoot and run just as well.
09:01 [GUNSHOTS]
09:04 Take this mild-mannered gentleman.
09:08 He's a speeder, a three-time offender.
09:13 Let's get him into correct focus.
09:15 This is no exaggeration.
09:18 Look out for him.
09:19 [CRASHING]
09:22 Lights, please.
09:24 I think we all know who the criminal in this case
09:28 really is.
09:29 It's you, and you, and it's me too.
09:33 [SIREN]
09:36 Say, where did everybody go?
09:38 [SIREN]
09:41 Ah-ha, they've seen the light of day.
09:44 The trial is done, and you have won.
09:46 [HORN]
09:51 The results of this trial were far-reaching.
09:55 People all over the country took it upon themselves
09:58 to drive with politeness and consideration.
10:01 Safety and sanity returned to the highway.
10:05 The Motor Millennium had arrived, but not for long.
10:12 Well, it was a nice try.
10:14 And where there's life, there's hope.
10:18 Let's hope.
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10:30 [BLANK_AUDIO]