Welcome to Tues Your Own Adventure! Join Jules and James as they take look at "awesome" video game mechanics we all hated!! Brilliant on paper. Terrible in practice.
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00:00 Hello all of you little demons, Jules here for whatculture.com back again with another
00:04 episode of the awesomely named and awfully hosted Choose Your Own Adventure, the weekly
00:09 medieval themed format where I, the crown jewels of whatculture.com, take a list chosen
00:13 by you, yes you, the person who is trying to beat the Guinness World Record of most
00:18 hard boiled eggs eaten. 72, 73, 72, 70, oh, oh, that's not gone well. Yes, you get to
00:27 decide what list I dole out to you each and every week, and this week we have none other
00:31 to thank than MJVDG for their suggestion of video game mechanics that were on paper absolutely
00:42 brilliant but we all ended up hating. Because you see, in order to stand out in a crowded
00:46 sea of video games that are released on a near continual basis, developers often have
00:51 to think outside the box when it comes to making their game catch your attention, and
00:55 by extension, the attention of your wallet. And therefore questions about how to think
00:59 outside the box become questions about the box itself. What if the box didn't exist
01:03 at all? What if the box was motion controls? What if the box was motion controls but actually
01:07 only through a pre-order for season pass holders? And in that moment, we've lost sight of
01:12 what we're talking about completely, as is most of my videos.
01:16 What I'm trying to say is, it's easy to make a great idea on paper that will still
01:19 fail to materialise into greatness for the player, and even those that sound utterly
01:24 awesome can indeed lead to moments of frustration and backlash from the fanbase, which is what
01:28 we're talking about today. As always, I'm Jules, this is WhatCulture.com, and these
01:32 are 8 awesome video game mechanics that we all ended up hating.
01:36 And you know the drill by now, say hi to me here over in the live chat and put your suggestions
01:39 for next week's episode down in the comments section below. But with that in mind, let's
01:43 get on with this list, shall we?
01:45 8. The Persuasion Minigame - The Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion
01:50 I tell you, I am an absolute sucker for any sort of video game that lets me charm and
01:54 schmooze my way through the experience. If you have got a charm stat or some way to influence
02:01 dialogue using some sort of minigame, then I am all for it, my dude. I love wringing
02:05 extra loot out of NPCs, sidelining boring quests with a turn of phrase, and even getting
02:11 bosses to back the hell down when they see my razor sharp wit. Oh, my wordplay, it cut
02:16 me. And yet when it came to Oblivion, an otherwise absolute masterclass of a game, Bethesda managed
02:21 to bungle their Persuasion minigame in such a specific way that it's still absolutely
02:26 functional and often times useful, but it's just so uncannily horrible to use over and
02:31 over.
02:32 Now the idea behind the mechanic is sound - use a rotating wheel with different values
02:36 in order to charm whoever it is that you're speaking to. But the implementation and accompanying
02:41 panopticon of pain seems to be the animator's attempt at conveying base emotions of pleasure
02:46 and hatred, and it all makes for an utterly ridiculous experience. Like it's so weird,
02:51 just watch their faces and not the wheel when you're talking to them. Oh, I love this. Oh,
02:55 I hate this. Oh, I love this. Oh, I hate this. And it's just like, imagine if that was real
03:00 life, if you were trying to go and find somewhere to eat with a friend and you're suggesting
03:04 places and you're like, do you want to go to McDonald's? And you look over and they're
03:07 just like this. I'll put that in the maybe pile then, shall I? You're basically chatting
03:12 absolute bollocks to them while hoping that your trivial pile of persuasion matches up
03:17 to what they like. There's no skill, there's no finesse, and it's basically the same as
03:21 the lockpicking minigame, but here the lockpick is somebody's face and it's not always happy
03:26 with you poking a metal rod up its nose.
03:28 Number seven, the majority of the Batmobile sections. Batman Arkham Knight. Now throughout
03:33 Rocksteady's tenure with the Arkham series of video games, fans the world over threw
03:38 adulation and praise at the devs for their attention to detail, amazing world building,
03:42 and of course the impeccable blend of hard hitting action and supremely enjoyable stealth
03:48 sections. However there was always one aspect of the games that players felt was missing,
03:51 and that of course is the giant absolute stonker of a vehicle, aka the Batmobile. But in a
03:58 case of "well be careful what you wish for", we got it in Arkham Knight, and oh boy did
04:03 we get a lot of it.
04:04 Previews for Arkham Knight pushed the Batmobile heavily as being one of the key reasons to
04:09 own this game, with a huge focus on vehicular combat as well as even a bit of mild puzzle
04:14 solving. It all sounded too good to be true, and unfortunately for many, that turned out
04:18 to be the case when the game finally dropped, as these sections quickly became a drain on
04:23 the entire experience. Now don't get me wrong, the mechanics of the Batmobile itself
04:27 were wonderful and the heavy bottom slide of the car felt wonderful to wrestle against,
04:32 yet the Batmobile was used way too many times across the game to the point where it became
04:36 a bit of an eye roll when yet again, Juicy Bruce over here announced that he'd need
04:40 his car for this specific point in the mission.
04:43 Nearly every aspect of the game features the Batmobile in some capacity, with even the
04:47 Riddler creating a whole slew of new races to challenge players with, and as such we
04:51 had a taste of the sorbet that was a refreshing experience and then realised that, oh, that's
04:56 all we're eating for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I'll have some mango with my strawberry.
05:02 It's 11pm. I just want to sleep. I just want to sleep. But the sugar rush is too much.
05:10 Number 6, The Force Wall, Wipeout 3. Now with the likes of red shells, homing missiles and
05:16 even swarms of killer bees, thank you very much Sonic All-Stars Racing Transformed, you
05:21 are a wonderful game, but bees? I did not need another reason to be afraid of them.
05:25 When it comes to racing games, there are many, many ways to claim pole position while causing
05:29 other racers to curse your name as they drown in sticky honey. But when it came to the otherwise
05:34 fantastic Wipeout 3, the devs dropped the ball hard when it came to its power-ups, as
05:39 here, more often than not, you'd be the one having the brakes put on. I say this because
05:43 for some reason the creative team decided that should you hit another racer with a power-up
05:47 or weapon enough to damage it, instead of dropping onto the track and creating an obstacle
05:51 for you, the racer in question would be temporarily flipped over to allow you to pass underneath.
05:56 Which sounds great, right? Well, it is, on paper, but the problem was that in practice,
06:01 that moment in which it flips up and then flips back down again was ridiculously short,
06:05 meaning that about 9 times out of 10, you'd be passing underneath the racer as they flipped
06:10 out on top of you. Sick.
06:12 This of course impacted your own racing skills somewhat, because last time I checked, it
06:16 is much harder to make a 3-point turn when you've got your rival flipping you off from
06:20 your own front windscreen. Worse still, some of the power-ups themselves were actively
06:24 dangerous for you to use, with the force wall especially dropping a barrier ahead of you,
06:28 but causing all other racers who crashed into it to bounce backwards.
06:33 Because that's what you want in a speedy game like this, right? For all of your rival
06:36 racers to suddenly become hurtling backwards towards you, it's just kind of like "haha,
06:40 take that! Oh my god, I am taking that!"
06:43 5. Using Rob to... help you. Gyromite.
06:48 Now the NES era of video games is definitely what the MCU would have called "the maddest
06:54 timeline". You had an explosion of video game content that washed the sour taste of
06:58 Atari's ruinous taint out of your mouths, and because Nintendo was leading the charge,
07:03 that meant that some of these games came with weird and wonderful peripherals. Including
07:07 the one and only Rob, or Robotic Operating Buddy, who may well have been Nintendo's
07:13 most insane product ever. Well, that is until the Virtual Boy or the Nintendo Labo. Those
07:18 were pretty insane. I mean, to be fair, it's still pretty mad. It's a robotic assistant
07:23 that helps you play video games. Although I should rephrase that by saying "it's
07:27 a robotic assistant that HELPS you play video games". Because this guy here, well he sucked.
07:33 But you tell me, on paper, that this isn't one of the best sounding mechanics for your
07:36 video game hobby ever. An actual robotic assistant. And yet, as anyone who's actually had the
07:42 pleasure of Rob's help will be able to tell you, this product, and the games that he was
07:46 attached to, were utterly abysmal.
07:48 Gyromite best exemplifies the problems here, as in this title you were a professor trying
07:53 to move through levels to collect dynamite that would explode if you ran out of time.
07:57 Because that's what I want to do when I'm a scientist. Go around my labs defusing bombs.
08:02 But blocking your way were colour coded pillars that Rob could help you shift by pushing the
08:06 corresponding buttons. However, the act of getting him to move at all was a chore, making
08:11 you pause the game to go into this pseudo select screen to tell Rob what to do. And
08:15 then you would wait upwards of a minute per button press that you wanted him to make for
08:20 him to complete the action. Imagine that. It's like, "There is a timer. There is dynamite.
08:27 Rob, will you help me?"
08:29 Of course I will dude, I've got your back fam.
08:32 [Robot sounds]
08:38 Don't worry fam, I've got this. You can trust me dude, I, ride or die for you.
08:45 You and me forever man, let's Thelma and Louise this.
08:48 [Robot sounds]
08:51 One button, in a minute, in a game, with a time limit. Do I need to expand more on why
08:56 this was actual hell? I thought not.
08:58 Number 4 - Unlocking cars based on rankings. R4 Ridge Racer Type 4
09:03 Now here's a video game mechanic that must have sounded absolutely brilliant when the
09:07 devs were chatting about implementing it into their game, but as soon as they actually put
09:10 it into practice, it became as confusing as the title to which it was attached to. I mean,
09:15 R4 Ridge Racer Type 4? Does that mean that the game is actually called Ridge Racer Type
09:20 4 Ridge Racer Type 4?
09:21 Well in R to the Power 4, which is definitely what I'm going to call it now, you'd unlock
09:24 cars for your collection based on the position in which you finished the tournament, meaning
09:28 that if you placed first across all of the races, you'd get a first place-esque prize
09:32 in the form of the fastest car and the most cash.
09:35 Which all sounds grand, right? Well the problem was, is that some of the more desirable cars
09:40 and in fact some of the better cars in terms of handling and acceleration or braking power
09:44 were actually locked behind the second and third places, and the only way to get them
09:49 was to go through the tournament again and place second or third respectively. Meaning
09:53 that you would have to, in some cases, throw the race in order to achieve the pole position
09:59 that you wanted.
10:01 Sick. Match fixing in a video game. I thought I'd seen it all, James. I thought I'd seen
10:06 it all. Plus you'd have to feel sorry for those questing for 100% of this game as they'd
10:10 have to do this multiple times on each event to complete their collection and unlock the
10:15 final car of the game.
10:17 3. Calming BB - Death Stranding
10:20 Now to say that Death Stranding is a video game full of half-baked but kind of brilliant
10:25 ideas is kind of like saying that I will be a little bit chilly when those energy price
10:29 hikes kick in in winter. And I also don't have a radiator in my room, I've just realised
10:33 that.
10:34 A quick look at Death Stranding's list of unique and odd mechanics is like trying to
10:38 read Homer's Odyssey, but all you've got to go on is paraphrases and key quotes that
10:42 are written over an old groceries list for how weird some of them seem. Holding buttons
10:46 to balance, multiplayer in the form of bridge building, weaponising your piss using monster
10:52 energy drinks, avocados. To be fair that last one was just surprising because I thought
10:56 we had some in the fridge.
10:57 But I digress, which is actually what Death Stranding does a lot, introducing new mechanics
11:02 on the fly that often lead absolutely nowhere near essential storyline missions. But one
11:06 that unfortunately was tied directly into the experience was the monitoring of BB, your
11:11 little bridge baby. Or as it's known amongst many gamers, Baby Mario version 2.
11:15 On paper, the idea of calming down a frightened child once you've taken a serious spill
11:20 or encountered a horrific enemy should only serve to heighten the tension of that moment.
11:24 You've just lost your packages, your baby is crying, it's all gone wrong. Except,
11:28 let's just say that last sentence again with a different intonation. You've lost
11:33 all of your packages, your baby is crying, it's all gone wrong. What about that is
11:38 fun? What about that experience is fun at all? I mean, I know that deep down there is
11:42 a desire within all of us humans to protect a small child, but at the same time, you've
11:47 just got to think to yourself, "Okay, this is a gameplay mechanic I could definitely
11:51 do without, because the screaming in my ears, it just doesn't end. It's like tinnitus,
11:56 it's just more infantile. If you want to call it tinnitus, whatever. Tinnitus, whatever."
12:01 And unsurprisingly, it wasn't fun to have to use the motion controls to calm BB down
12:05 for the 50th time, by which point this quirky method had officially outstayed its welcome.
12:10 Number 2, don't forget to take your joy, or nothing will happen. We Happy Few.
12:14 Now, I don't think I've been as disappointed with a video game as I was with We Happy Few
12:18 when it launched in 2016. The state of the game back then was so disappointing, because
12:24 while it's gone on from strength to strength, and it's been expanded by really quite generous
12:29 DLC experiences that have been really well received, and the game has received a ton
12:33 of fixes and tweaks, the game as it stood, 2016, the vanilla version, who boy was it
12:39 left wanting. It had a concept that was a stone cold killer as well, of a society held
12:45 in a perpetual state of drug addled repression, and was backed up with brutality. It told
12:50 of a town divided by those who took their joy pills to forget, and downers who were
12:55 those that rejected the fantasy in order to live out in the wastes. As such, a lot of
12:59 expectations were built up around the process of taking joy in order to fit in with the
13:03 other pill junkies, and how these mechanics would affect gameplay. Would you be caught
13:07 short at a desperate moment and be chased out of town? Would you have to scavenge for
13:11 them in order to stave off a beatdown? Well the answer on paper was a definitive yes,
13:15 but in practice, was a resounding no.
13:17 For you see, while joy dosage was important to get through certain gates and bypass doctors,
13:22 that was the extent of its implementation, and the sheer abundancy of the pill meant
13:26 that it was never really that hard to acquire. What was once an amazing piece of world building
13:31 just became a chore with all of the tension of the situation dissipating almost entirely.
13:36 Hell the fact that you could complete the game without taking joy once outside of a
13:39 few story beats just shows how little they cared about this, which was such a shame,
13:43 because it had the potential to be one of the best things about this game. And that's
13:48 why I hate it a little bit.
13:49 At number 1, the Renbu system, Dynasty Warriors 6.
13:53 So imagine that you're in the headquarters of Koi Tecmo, and all of a sudden, this dev
13:58 slams through the door. He's sweaty, he's shaky, he's got a nervous look in his eyes,
14:02 almost feverish. He grabs onto your shirt, and he pulls you closer, and you can see the
14:07 sweat on his brow, his lips are quivering, he pulls closer to your ears, just brushing
14:12 that bit there, just making you go "what are you doing?" and he whispers the words
14:16 "But what if... Infinite combos?"
14:21 You'd drop your Lu Bu mug, it would smash on the floor and your tea would go everywhere.
14:26 Because that's how important it was to a Dynasty Warriors fan. I know it might not mean much
14:30 to an outsider, but to a DW fan, or as we call ourselves, Musso Melliers, before we
14:35 drink the Musso like fine wine, this concept was enough to make my Dong Zhuo turn into
14:41 a Dong Wuo.
14:43 Infinite combos, in a game, about pushing beatdowns like a drug dealer, is pretty much
14:47 the actual dream, so many, myself included, were hyped to the extreme legends when the
14:52 Ren Bu system was announced for Dynasty Warriors 6. However, this soon became possibly the
14:58 most hated mechanic in the entire series thanks to its implementation, which saw nearly every
15:03 character share a base moveset that had to hit a certain hitchain in order to unlock
15:07 new and more exciting moves. This, when coupled with the fact that enemies only appeared in
15:11 small clumps, often meant that you'd be using basic strikes for far longer than our
15:15 patience would tolerate. Thus turning what were once warriors of legends into Saturday
15:21 League dads scrapping it out in the car park after a few pints of the gogo juice. Y'know,
15:26 just a fizzy burpy mess with weak as piss punches. No thank you, mate.
15:31 And there we go my friends, those were 8 awesome video game mechanics that we all absolutely
15:35 hated. I hope that you enjoyed that and please let me know what you thought about it down
15:39 in the comments section below, as well as putting your suggestions for next week's
15:43 episode. I love reading all of them so thank you very much for this little dialogue that
15:46 we have, this little back and forth, this little tete-a-tete that I like so very much.
15:51 And if you want to chat to me further you can do so over on the social medias @RetroJay
15:55 but the O is a 0 and you can follow James Dowse over here. I don't know what meme he's
15:59 put up this week but I'm sure that it is *mwah* spicy indeed. But before I go I just
16:04 want to say one thing, I hope that you are treating yourself well with love and respect
16:07 my friend. That is always an awesome idea that is good when it's followed through
16:12 on because I just want you to live a healthy and happy life, to treat yourself with that
16:15 love and respect that I know that you deserve, alright? You deserve love, you deserve happiness,
16:20 you deserve success, alright? So just go out there, treat yourself well, treat your neighbour
16:24 well, go out there, build bridges instead of burning them and have a brilliant day,
16:28 whatever it is you are getting up to. Big love from me to you my friend. As always,
16:32 I've been Jules, you have been awesome, never forget that and I'll speak to you
16:35 soon. Bye.