DON'T SUCK Trailer (2023) Matt Rife, Jamie Kennedy, Russell Peters, Vampire Comedy
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00 Take a look at the kid that I'm sticking on stage next.
00:02 Why would I ever do that?
00:03 You've seen people bomb.
00:04 This kid next levels it.
00:06 I am a vampire.
00:07 I'm neither Team Edward or Team Jacob.
00:10 I rooted for the sun.
00:11 He was so scary, he scared the laughs away.
00:15 I saw you in the back.
00:19 Oh yeah, I was the guy who laughed.
00:21 Thank you for that.
00:22 You ever needed an opener?
00:24 What's up?
00:26 I have a commitment for you to open up the brand new Russell Peter Special.
00:29 Pick an opener or one's gonna be appointed for you.
00:31 If you take me, I will pay for every expense.
00:34 What do you say?
00:35 Alright.
00:36 Guy has a friggin' coffin.
00:37 He's a good guy and you can learn a thing or two.
00:39 Like what? How to hang upside down?
00:41 I once joined a doomsday cult.
00:43 By the time I got there, everybody was dead.
00:45 Nick!
00:46 Will you quit the vampire routine?
00:49 It's not a routine.
00:50 I mean the glowing eyes, contacts, the teeth.
00:55 It's an odd lifestyle choice, but hey, it's Vegas.
00:57 But dude, you turned into a bat!
00:59 Dude, you're amazing.
01:03 Where'd you find this kid?
01:06 Only fangs.
01:07 Aren't you late for your job at the truck stop glory hole?
01:12 Step aside, Twilight.
01:13 Don't do this.
01:14 You killed a guy and drank his blood.
01:23 That's crazy!
01:27 Do you have any idea what it's like to be emotionally dead inside?
01:31 Have you met me? I'm a comedian.
01:33 Do you want to touch it?
01:37 I don't want to touch it.
01:40 you
01:42 you
01:45 you
01:48 you
01:50 [BLANK_AUDIO]