Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00 [music]
00:08 You and your little hatchet. I thought I could tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth for 24 hours.
00:14 And what happened? Did they make me a hero? Did they write history books about me?
00:19 No. People just wondered if Bob Hope was going nuts.
00:23 Friends started whispering behind my back. I became a social outcast just because I swore to tell nothing but the truth.
00:29 He's what we call a dementia cortical with an overactive thalamic predicosis.
00:35 What is that, Doctor?
00:37 He's a jerk.
00:38 When I tried to be romantic with my dream girl, Paulette Goddard, I got no place.
00:42 Just because I couldn't tell even one teensy-weensy lie.
00:46 Mr. Bennett, you hardly know us, and yet you've taken a great delight in hurting everybody's feelings.
00:52 Well, why don't you make a good job of it? Go on, go on. Don't leave me out. I'm here. What would you like to do to me?
00:57 I'd like to kiss you till your ears fly off.
01:00 Edward Arnold, my boss, he wanted me to sell stock in a Quicksilver mine, but I had to tell the truth.
01:05 Quicksilver?
01:06 I'll take it.
01:07 He wants to buy 20,000 shares.
01:09 20,000? What did I tell you boys? Do I know human nature?
01:12 Well, what do I think of it? It's no good. It stinks.
01:16 Everybody turns against me. Life Erickson, Glenn Anders, Helen Vinson.
01:21 But the most confused person in the whole cast of nothing but the truth is my man, Wooley Best.
01:26 I'm unprepared for a weekend like this. All I've grown is my suntan oil.
01:30 Suntan oil? You're gilding the lily. What do you want with suntan oil?
01:34 I freckle.
01:36 [Music]