Date With The Angels - S2E13: Chip Off The Old Block

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Transcript
00:00 [music]
00:19 You have a date with the angel.
00:22 Starring Betty White.
00:25 Bill Williams as Gus Angel.
00:28 Presented by Plymouth.
00:32 Star of the forward look.
00:35 And the Plymouth Dealers of America.
00:41 The time nearly seven months after Vicki and Gus Angel were married.
00:47 The place, a full house.
00:49 The plot, a missed deal.
00:52 [laughter]
00:55 Six plots in a row.
00:57 With my luck, it's a wonder I ain't beautiful.
01:00 Lover, anybody says you ain't beautiful has got to fight me.
01:04 I get more fights that way.
01:06 [laughter]
01:08 Okay.
01:11 There we are.
01:12 Hey, that's mine.
01:13 What's the difference? It's all community property.
01:19 All right, Cassie, let's not get jerky about it.
01:23 Are you looking for a fat lip lover?
01:27 Cassie tells me your son's due home from the Navy pretty soon, Merton.
01:31 Oh, yeah, yeah.
01:32 We don't know exactly when.
01:34 You know, we haven't seen him in about two years.
01:36 You'll love him, Vicki.
01:37 He's a wonderful kid.
01:39 That kind of knocks me out a little too because he's got such a penny-pinching miser for a mother.
01:44 [laughter]
01:46 And his father's about to meet with a nasty accident.
01:49 I got news for you. His father is married to a nasty accident.
01:53 [laughter]
01:55 Yeah?
01:56 Yeah.
01:57 [music]
02:02 When you get tired of him, kids, just throw him out in the alley with the rest of the trash.
02:07 Cassie, you forgot to say goodbye to Custer Vicki.
02:11 That dame's got absolutely no manners.
02:15 Kids, we had a swell time.
02:17 [laughter]
02:24 How can people live that way?
02:27 Beats me. I know I couldn't.
02:30 What a thing to say to your husband.
02:32 You looking for a fat lip.
02:34 [laughter]
02:36 Lover, that's the word that frosted me.
02:39 You looking for a fat lip lover?
02:41 [laughter]
02:43 Gus, if we ever talked like that to each other, I'd think the world was coming to an end.
02:47 Oh, honey, that'll be the day.
02:50 [laughter]
02:55 Oh, I loved it when you hop-pulled me with that crack.
02:58 His father's going to meet with a nasty accident.
03:01 [laughter]
03:02 Oh, that was beautiful.
03:04 His father's married to a nasty accident.
03:07 [laughter]
03:08 That's the one I like.
03:10 Good quick mind, lover.
03:13 Hey, did I leave my purse over at Vicki's?
03:15 Oh, that purse of yours never stays put.
03:17 Sometimes I think it's a liar.
03:19 Well, it ain't here. I must have left it there.
03:21 Well, there's one way to find out.
03:23 You know, lover, I'm really worried about those two kids.
03:27 Who, Gus and Vicki?
03:29 Yeah.
03:30 What for?
03:32 Well--
03:33 Oh, Vicki?
03:34 Murph?
03:35 Yeah.
03:36 Did my fat-headed wife leave her purse up there?
03:39 [laughter]
03:40 Oh, good.
03:41 Good, I'll be right up and get it.
03:43 Oh, you don't have to do that.
03:45 Oh, really?
03:46 It--
03:47 OK.
03:48 Thanks.
03:50 She's bringing it down.
03:51 Oh, well.
03:52 Now, what are you worried about them for?
03:54 Oh, lover, you won't believe this,
03:56 but do you know those kids have been married for almost seven months,
03:59 and they ain't even had one fight with one another yet?
04:02 Well, so they've been married for--
04:04 Oh.
04:05 You're kidding.
04:06 No, she told me in so many words.
04:08 How can people live like that?
04:10 [laughter]
04:12 Beats me.
04:13 It's only common sense that you've got to clear the air once in a while.
04:16 Who thinks they know that?
04:18 Well, I was wondering, Murph,
04:19 do you suppose maybe you might have a little talk with Gus,
04:22 and not in a nice way, and sort of--
04:24 Oh, sure.
04:25 Gee, I'd hate to see those kids break up.
04:27 Oh, so would I.
04:29 Well, that must be a stranger.
04:31 Everybody else knows to use the back door.
04:34 [music playing]
04:37 Enter, friend.
04:41 Here's the purse.
04:43 Where's Cassie?
04:44 She, uh, left me for a stranger.
04:47 [laughter]
04:49 You just let her go?
04:52 She'll be back.
04:54 Me and Cassie have been talking.
04:56 Is it true that you and Gus never had a fight?
04:58 Never!
04:59 Emma's on his way!
05:01 Our baby's on his way!
05:03 Oh, Vicki, our baby's coming home!
05:05 Oh, Cassie, I'm happy, boy.
05:07 I'm happy for both of you.
05:09 Mike, my boy, Mike.
05:11 Wait till you see him, Vicki.
05:12 Oh, this kid's got strength.
05:14 He's got a belt like iron.
05:16 Oh, and his nails, ain't he lovely?
05:17 Oh, Emma's a great boy.
05:19 Wait a minute, which one's coming home, Emmett or Mike?
05:22 Both of them.
05:23 Emmett Michael Murphy.
05:25 The Emmett was her idea.
05:26 His real name is Mike Murphy.
05:28 Vicki, this kid.
05:30 This kid is so tough that when he joined the Navy,
05:34 they put three destroyers in Mortfall.
05:37 [laughter]
05:39 A real be-going Paul Bunyan.
05:42 Are you kidding?
05:43 The Navy don't take guys with bum feet.
05:46 [laughter]
05:48 Here's a picture of him when he joined up.
05:51 Oh, he was just learning how to shave.
05:54 [laughter]
05:55 Turn off the waterworks, will you?
05:57 Here, let me see that wire.
05:59 Doesn't say anything about the time.
06:01 All it says, he's coming in on San Pedro on the 23rd.
06:04 That's tomorrow.
06:05 I know what day it is.
06:07 I just don't know what time it is.
06:09 You never did.
06:10 [laughter]
06:11 You're going to get smart again, aren't we?
06:13 Isn't there some way of checking on the time?
06:15 I'm going down at sunrise to the pier
06:17 and wait for my baby to get off that boat.
06:19 If Mike hears you call his ship a boat,
06:21 he'll give you a belt right between the eyes.
06:23 Just try it.
06:25 And get another thing through that cardboard skull of yours.
06:28 Mike ain't no baby.
06:30 I'll call my baby my baby any time I want to call my baby my baby,
06:34 and you won't stop.
06:36 His name is Michael Murphy.
06:38 I gave it to him.
06:39 I'll give you a fat lip, lover.
06:41 Now watch.
06:42 [laughter]
06:43 [music]
06:50 Well, hi.
06:51 How do you do?
06:52 I'm terribly sorry to bother you so early in the morning.
06:54 My name is Murphy.
06:56 Of course it is.
06:57 Come on in.
06:58 Thank you.
06:59 I'm Vicki Angel.
07:01 Oh, I know.
07:02 Mother's written of you in glowing terms.
07:04 Uh, honey, Murphy's boy is here.
07:07 Won't you sit down, Mike?
07:09 Come on.
07:10 Emmett.
07:12 I'm sorry.
07:14 Oh, honey, uh, this is Mr. Angel.
07:17 [laughter]
07:19 Hi.
07:20 We were just talking about you.
07:22 How do you do, sir?
07:23 Nice to finally meet you, Mike.
07:25 Emmett.
07:26 [clears throat]
07:27 Uh, did you miss connections with your folks?
07:29 Well, evidently.
07:30 I left a note on the door for them.
07:32 I took the liberty of saying I'd be up here.
07:34 Oh, that's all right, Mike.
07:36 Emmett.
07:38 [laughter]
07:42 Well.
07:44 [clears throat]
07:45 You're, um-- you're almost as big as your dad said you would be.
07:50 I think he's going to be proud of this.
07:52 Oh.
07:53 What does the other guy look like?
07:55 This happened with the trombone, sir.
07:58 A trombone?
08:00 Don't they use fists in the Navy anymore?
08:02 [laughter]
08:04 I'm afraid I've given you the wrong impression.
08:06 Now, you see, the flutes sit right in front of the trombones.
08:11 Well, the-- the trombone player, he reached for a low note.
08:16 Well, when he came back, he caught me with a saliva valve.
08:19 [laughter]
08:21 I felt terrible about it.
08:23 I can imagine.
08:26 Then you play the flute.
08:28 Yes, ma'am.
08:29 I'm a musician first class.
08:31 We play all the ship's concerts.
08:33 This happened right in the middle of Claire de Lune.
08:35 [laughter]
08:39 Claire de Lune?
08:41 How long has it been since you've seen your father, your folks?
08:45 Oh, about two years.
08:47 I've been traveling all over the world.
08:49 Does your dad know that--
08:51 how bet your dad is proud you made musician first class, huh?
08:56 Well, Mother thought it expedient not to tell him.
09:01 Of course, I'll straighten that out now that I am back.
09:04 Say, I wonder if I may bring my sea bag in.
09:06 I left it outside till I was sure you were home.
09:09 Well, certainly, Emmett.
09:10 Bring it in.
09:12 Oh, say, this is a beautiful piece of Teocheon bronze.
09:18 It is?
09:19 Thank you.
09:21 Oriental sculpture's my hobby, you know.
09:25 We should have asked to see his identity card.
09:27 That kid's an imposter.
09:31 Poor Murph.
09:32 The worst thing that could happen to him, he has a son with manners.
09:36 Here we are.
09:38 I brought a few things back.
09:40 I want you to see something.
09:42 Miss Angel, I brought for you.
09:44 Oh, say, this is my flute.
09:47 It's a--
09:52 Honey?
09:53 Honey, isn't it nice?
09:55 See, it says Jensen right there.
09:58 I hear they're swell.
10:01 Well, I got to get going.
10:03 You know, Mother told me so much about you.
10:06 I want you to have this.
10:09 For me?
10:10 Well, it's a figurine.
10:12 It represents the goddess of patience.
10:14 You see, in Korea, they have a little--
10:17 Uh-oh, here they come.
10:19 Stand back.
10:20 Baby!
10:21 Oh!
10:22 Hi, boys.
10:23 How are you?
10:24 You won't be needing me around, and I'm late for work.
10:27 Oh, you look wonderful.
10:29 I'm Murph, Cassie.
10:30 Yeah, I'm Miss Angel.
10:31 Oh, come on, guys.
10:32 Oh, baby, where were you?
10:33 We drove all the way to San Pedro, and your boat wasn't there.
10:36 His ship, lover.
10:37 Anyway, we got all the way to San Pedro, couldn't find hide in the hair of your boat.
10:42 We just had a sudden change in orders, Dad.
10:44 We came off at Long Beach.
10:46 Glad you're here now, anyway.
10:48 Uh-huh, what'd I tell you, Vicki?
10:50 What's the other guy look like?
10:52 Oh, six feet, 190 pounds.
10:54 Little guy, huh?
10:55 Yeah.
10:56 Did he hit you with a brick?
10:58 No, sir, a trombone.
10:59 Oh, them trombones are murder.
11:02 I remember a little brawl we got into at a dance hall, and would you believe it, Mike,
11:06 this guy tried to jam a trombone into my ear.
11:08 You told him that when he was three years old.
11:11 I guess I did.
11:12 Well, we can swap remittances later.
11:16 What's the nickel-plated plumbing for?
11:22 That's my flute, sir.
11:23 What?
11:24 I was saying--
11:25 Look what Emmett brought me.
11:27 Mike, nice of you, kid.
11:30 Only one?
11:32 Where's the one for the pepper?
11:37 That's a figurine, Dad.
11:39 You see, it represents the goddess of patience.
11:43 According to Korean superstition, she embodies the enigma of tranquility.
11:52 Something like the Griselda of Italy.
11:56 He didn't mean nothing by it, Mother.
11:58 You trying to get jazzy with your old man, son?
12:01 Of course, he is.
12:02 Well, I was hoping you were, because big as you are, I can still take you on.
12:05 Now, come on, put up them boots.
12:07 I can't do it, Dad. I have to watch my fingers now.
12:09 Your fingers? What's the matter with them?
12:11 One, two, three.
12:12 They're all there.
12:14 I need them for my flute.
12:17 Oh.
12:18 Mike was telling me he's traveled all over the world.
12:23 Emmett.
12:24 Now, what's all this jazz about a flute?
12:27 Well, you might as well know, lover.
12:29 Emmett plays the flute in the Navy Band.
12:31 I would have told you before, but I was afraid you'd pop your cork.
12:35 Should I pop my cork?
12:36 Some admiral tells him to play a flute, he plays the flute.
12:39 So, one of the musicians conked you with a trombone, huh?
12:42 Well, something like that, sir.
12:44 Uh, Dad, it was right in the middle of Claire de Lune.
12:47 They shouldn't allow dames aboard a ship.
12:54 What else have you got in your bag, Emmett?
12:56 Yeah, Mike.
12:57 I've got something here for you, Mom.
12:59 Oh, something for me? A present for me?
13:01 I hope you like it.
13:02 Oh, a pair of beads.
13:05 Oh, Daddy, they're beautiful.
13:08 Oh, they say I can pick you.
13:10 Did you bring me a gun or a sword or something like that?
13:13 Oh, here's something else for you, lover.
13:15 No, no, that's for you, Dad.
13:31 You know what he's trying to do, though.
13:33 He's trying to get me into a fight so he can beat my brains out.
13:36 Hey, I love it. Try it on.
13:38 Really, sir, it's for you.
13:43 Mike, you've been gone a long time, so maybe you forgot.
13:46 I don't wear nightgowns.
13:50 It's a bathrobe, Murph. It's a beautiful oriental bathrobe.
13:53 Well, I don't take oriental baths.
13:58 Oh, this is ridiculous. Look at this thing.
14:01 Oh, look at this. Oh.
14:04 Hey, I can't. Look at this thing. It's crawling with bugs.
14:09 They're not bugs, Dad. They're oriental butterflies.
14:13 This group was used symbolically by the Ming Dynasty.
14:18 I know Navy talk, and that ain't it.
14:22 There you are.
14:23 Well, I hope you're satisfied.
14:27 I look like an Irish snake.
14:31 I'm sorry, Mike. It's swell, honest.
14:35 You get you, Dad. Watch the hand.
14:40 You sure I can't fix you a little bit of breakfast or something?
14:43 Oh, no, thanks, Vicki. I've got to get my baby home.
14:46 Come on, honey.
14:47 Glad to have you home.
14:49 Oh, you look wonderful, too.
14:51 So long, Vicki.
14:52 You've gotten bigger than ever.
14:55 Excuse me, Dr. Booth.
14:57 Let's go, Emmett.
14:59 Come on.
15:07 Oh, Vicki, I need your advice. I don't know what to do.
15:11 About what, honey?
15:12 Emmett and Murph. It's just fight, fight, fight.
15:17 Emmett's been home for a week now, and here's what happened.
15:21 Murph comes home from work, and maybe he sees Emmett writing a letter to this girl he's got in Philadelphia.
15:27 Evelyn.
15:28 If you ask me, she's the real troublemaker.
15:32 Little Miss College Girl.
15:35 Well, anyhow, Murph catches him writing this letter, and he gets real clever.
15:40 And he says, "Okay, we know you can write. We've seen the pen."
15:47 Or maybe Emmett's practicing on his flute.
15:50 And Murph says, "What are you trying to be? The Pied Piper of Hamilton?"
15:58 What do you think I should do?
16:01 Oh, I'm certainly not qualified to give that kind of advice.
16:05 Sure you are.
16:06 I'd really rather not really, Kathy.
16:09 Look, honey, the Murphy family is in big trouble.
16:12 If you've got any ideas, fill 'em.
16:17 Well, all right.
16:18 It occurred to me that maybe if you just all sat down around a table and discussed the situation.
16:24 Oh, talkin' never solved anything.
16:27 Well, maybe you could explain to Murph that an education isn't a crime.
16:32 And that manners are an asset, and Emmett's changed for the better.
16:37 All Emmett has to do is just pop his cork once, and the whole thing's solved.
16:43 But you're contradicting yourself. You just said you didn't want that.
16:46 Now, if you could get Murph to control himself, and--
16:49 Well, forgive me, Kathy, but if you'd control yourself--
16:52 Oh, yeah?
16:55 Who asked you?
17:00 Well, you did, remember?
17:02 Well, let me tell you something, little Miss Busybody.
17:05 Everybody in this neighborhood's talkin' about you and Gus.
17:08 What?
17:09 Everybody's saying that your marriage won't last a year,
17:12 and that's when you bust loose at one another every now and then and say what you really think.
17:16 Who's everybody?
17:18 Me and Murph.
17:23 And incidentally, the next time I need your advice, I'll ask for it.
17:30 [music]
17:41 Murph, you've never come down here to my office before,
17:44 and you've been sittin' here givin' me double talk for five minutes.
17:48 Now, why don't you say what you came down here to say?
17:51 No, Gus, honest. I--I was just goin' by, so I thought I'd drop in.
17:57 Glad you did.
17:58 See you later.
17:59 So long, Murph.
18:03 Gus?
18:05 Yeah?
18:08 What kind of a navy are they runnin' these days?
18:12 Murph, the navy's as tough as ever.
18:14 Only they're leaning a little bit more to education, that's all.
18:17 You ain't kiddin'.
18:18 You know what that stupid kid of mine's done?
18:20 What?
18:21 He went to the library and brought home a book.
18:26 At first I thought it was all about Italian baseball, but it wasn't.
18:30 Italian baseball?
18:31 Yeah, somethin' about the decline and fall of a Roman empire.
18:39 Well, it wasn't about baseball, and I yelled at him.
18:44 You know, Gus, I've been yellin' at that kid all week.
18:47 And all he keeps telling me is, "Dad, you're tired. Dad, you're tired."
18:52 Gus, the kid just ain't got it.
18:57 Murph, most parents want the respect you're getting.
19:01 What do you want 'em to do?
19:03 I want 'em to belt me just once!
19:06 Is that asking too much?
19:10 I'm gonna have to find a flutist who wants to go to a football game for me.
19:13 Or is that too carnival for him?
19:14 What's the matter with you?
19:15 Oh, too carnival for him.
19:16 At it again.
19:17 I just don't understand it.
19:19 I'll say this much, though.
19:20 Murph has a point.
19:21 Seems to me it wouldn't hurt the kid any to act up once in a while just for Murph's sake.
19:26 Oh, no.
19:27 Murph's the one who has to make the adjustments.
19:30 I don't quite agree with you, sweetheart.
19:32 I'm a little surprised at you.
19:34 But you didn't see Kathy's face when she asked for advice.
19:38 Bologna and lettuce.
19:39 Just checkin'.
19:41 Look who's here.
19:42 Hi.
19:43 Folks.
19:44 Here they're at it again.
19:45 Thought I'd come over here and do a little sketching if it wouldn't disturb you.
19:48 Well, of course not, Emmett.
19:50 Glad to have you, Mike.
19:52 You know, they're the most wonderful parents in the world.
19:57 But it's kind of nice to come down here where things are discussed instead of wrangled over.
20:01 May I see this?
20:02 No, Emmett.
20:04 I'm going to send that to Evelyn when I finish with it.
20:06 You know, she likes flowers.
20:08 This is beautiful.
20:10 Thanks.
20:11 Has your dad found out you do this sort of thing?
20:15 Well, no.
20:16 I figured I caused enough trouble with the flu.
20:21 You really caught the feeling of those roses.
20:23 Look at this.
20:25 They're all bologna and lettuce.
20:28 Very good, Mike.
20:30 Well, Mike, did you make up your mind whether you're going or not?
20:33 I got two things for the football game.
20:35 Well, I'd kind of like to finish this, Dad.
20:41 Flowers?
20:42 Well, la-dee-da.
20:48 What else can you expect from a kid who whistled through plumbing?
20:52 I think Emmett did very well.
20:55 When he gets through with the cartoons, we'll take a nice muscle-building trip to the library.
21:01 You know, I remember when me and this kid used to talk the same language.
21:07 Not no more.
21:12 Dad's a wonderful guy.
21:17 He doesn't mean it when he talks.
21:21 You shouldn't misunderstand.
21:24 Excuse me, please.
21:31 You know, Murph is blaming the Navy for all this.
21:34 I think it's that Philadelphia Evelyn's fault.
21:37 You make Philadelphia sound awfully stuffy.
21:39 I think Cassie's right.
21:42 I don't think you heard me, sweetheart.
21:44 I said I haven't anything against Philadelphia, the girl.
21:49 Don't let her get you down, lover.
21:51 I'll go to the football game with you.
21:54 I don't want to go.
21:58 Dad, what do you want?
22:05 We still got time to make that football game?
22:09 What?
22:26 Well, are you going to take me to that football game, or do I got to belt you?
22:35 Oh, baby!
22:39 A real dumbbell.
22:41 Why do you pick me up on everything I say?
22:43 I don't pick you up on anything.
22:45 Why do you have to tell me that I hate Philadelphia?
22:47 I have nothing against Philadelphia.
22:49 I didn't know better.
22:50 I think that was Vicki and Gus.
22:51 It is.
22:52 Let's go referee.
22:53 Come on.
22:54 Oh, okay, baby.
22:56 All right, if you're so smart, what's wrong with Seattle?
22:59 Seattle?
23:00 Where did Seattle come from?
23:01 All I said was there were a few stuffy people in any city, like Indianapolis or Fresno.
23:06 How did Seattle get into it?
23:07 Because I went through there with my folks and a nice bunch of people you never met in your life.
23:12 I suppose you were eight years old, like you were in Philadelphia?
23:15 I was five and a half, but I remember it.
23:18 And if Philadelphia was good enough for Benjamin Franklin, it ought to be good enough for you.
23:23 I wasn't five and a half when I was in Philadelphia, so I don't remember Benjamin Franklin.
23:28 Of course you don't.
23:29 You're so busy opening sandwiches, you wouldn't remember anybody.
23:33 Get back to Benjamin Franklin before you can tell Gus to go fly a kite.
23:37 And when I want your advice, I'll ask for it.
23:41 How can I see what's in a sandwich if I don't open it?
23:43 You can have a little faith in your wife.
23:46 Bologna, bologna, bologna.
23:49 Wait a minute.
23:51 What was in that last one?
23:56 Ah-ha!
23:58 Peanut butter!
24:01 Oh, it's peanut butter.
24:03 Yes, you told me it was bologna.
24:05 Bologna!
24:06 You in it, Michael Murphy?
24:07 Hey, you stay out of this.
24:09 Yeah.
24:10 Wait a minute.
24:11 My baby doll.
24:13 Your baby started to brawl the minute he docked at Long Beach.
24:17 You know, the Marine Corps is on our side, buddy.
24:20 Just a minute, Admiral.
24:21 That happens to be my boy.
24:24 I'm sorry, sir.
24:25 He's on terminal leave, but he's still in the Navy.
24:27 I'll have to take him along.
24:29 You started a brawl with Marines?
24:33 I'm sorry, Dad.
24:35 That's why I've been trying to control my temper ever since I come home.
24:39 All right, come on, son.
24:41 [LAUGHTER]
24:42 [INAUDIBLE]
24:43 [APPLAUSE]
24:48 This is a day to remember.
24:51 You two kids at each other's throat, and they dragged my boy off to the brig.
24:56 That's what I call a happy ending.
24:59 [LAUGHTER]
25:03 Honey.
25:04 Yeah?
25:05 You know I didn't mean one word of what I said, don't you?
25:08 Of course I do.
25:09 I didn't either.
25:12 You know something funny?
25:13 What?
25:15 I never felt better in my whole life.
25:18 [MUSIC PLAYING]
25:24 (SINGING) Got a date with an angel, going to meet her at 7.
25:28 Got a date with an angel, and I'm on my way to heaven.
25:33 [MUSIC PLAYING]
26:00 Ladies and gentlemen, your Plymouth dealer invites you to watch the Lawrence Welk program,
26:04 top tunes and new talent on this same network.
26:07 Tom Kennedy speaking.
26:09 Good night, everybody.
26:10 [APPLAUSE]