Twinkle Khanna's 4th Book Launch Full Event Uncut Akshay Kumar, Karan Johar, Kiara Advani and More
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00:05:02 - Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,
00:05:07 and I'm back where I belong,
00:05:09 at Twinkle Khanna's book launch.
00:05:12 What do I say about Twinkle?
00:05:14 I mean, there's so much I have to say.
00:05:15 I don't know why I'm calling her Twinkle,
00:05:17 because there is an unusual fact
00:05:21 that her real name is Twinkle,
00:05:23 but her pet name is Tina.
00:05:24 We won't go there,
00:05:26 because Twinkle is invariably the pet name
00:05:28 that people go by, or the ones that exist in this world.
00:05:32 I love her, known her ever since I can remember.
00:05:36 She's an actor, though she claims she's not.
00:05:39 She is gorgeous, though she claims she's not,
00:05:42 though I did walk into a room
00:05:44 where she was blow-drying her hair,
00:05:46 and touching up her makeup,
00:05:47 and I told her to kind of down the rouge a bit,
00:05:50 because she'd gotten carried away.
00:05:52 It's her book launch, it's her day, why not?
00:05:55 She is the most read columnist, which is so fantastic.
00:06:00 She's the highest-selling female author in this country,
00:06:04 and that is no mean feat.
00:06:06 (audience cheers and applauds)
00:06:10 More than anything else, she's a compassionate daughter,
00:06:16 an absolutely loving mother,
00:06:18 an exceptionally understanding wife,
00:06:21 and she does it all with a smile on her face,
00:06:24 and a joke that she will crack at your expense.
00:06:26 All of this is true, and I have been at the end of that,
00:06:32 and the receiving end of those jokes.
00:06:35 One can never have the last word when it comes to her,
00:06:37 and maybe one shouldn't, because what the hell?
00:06:40 This is Twinkle Khanna, she went back to school
00:06:42 after achieving all of this, who does that?
00:06:44 As Shikhi Sarkar rightfully said,
00:06:46 I wouldn't go back to teaching school,
00:06:48 to school, I would go back to school as a student,
00:06:53 and I don't think anyone is calling me as a teacher.
00:06:56 So let's just give a big round of applause
00:06:59 to this Renaissance woman.
00:07:00 (audience applauds)
00:07:03 But it's okay.
00:07:16 Some sacrifices are worth it, Shobanaji, you understand.
00:07:20 Yes, yes.
00:07:22 - So there's a reason why you are at every book launch.
00:07:27 You're my lucky mascot.
00:07:28 I've almost now become superstitious about it,
00:07:31 and I was telling my mom that it's like Ganpati.
00:07:34 Every book launch, I put you on this dice,
00:07:36 and then I do your research on the next day.
00:07:38 And I think when Vidya and I were sitting backstage,
00:07:43 I also said that if you pop it,
00:07:44 I'm gonna have your picture at my 12th or 15th book launch,
00:07:49 because that's the amount of faith I have in you.
00:07:52 - Just make sure you're wearing the right clothes
00:07:54 when that happens, because you will be judged.
00:07:57 - Oh my God.
00:07:58 - And make sure it doesn't look like
00:07:59 the de-decor fabric air couch.
00:08:02 I've just done some endorsements.
00:08:03 - One second, Simone is here,
00:08:05 and she's taking grave offense at this de-decor fabric.
00:08:07 - I'm actually promoting it.
00:08:09 I've even done it on my show.
00:08:11 But listen, it's an absolute pleasure and honor
00:08:15 to interview you, because you know.
00:08:17 (speaking in foreign language)
00:08:18 - Yeah, I mean, I have to say these things,
00:08:20 it's your launch, I have to be nice to you.
00:08:22 And conversations with you are like
00:08:25 welcome to paradise anyway.
00:08:27 - You don't know if you're in hell or you're in heaven,
00:08:29 and you just.
00:08:30 - That's pretty much sounds like most people's marriages.
00:08:33 - That's also true.
00:08:34 (laughing)
00:08:35 - But welcome to paradise is now touted
00:08:38 to be a juggernaut success.
00:08:40 It is so different from everything you've done.
00:08:42 We'll get to that later.
00:08:43 But first things first,
00:08:45 something I'm genuinely curious about.
00:08:47 You went back to school.
00:08:48 What prompted you, what made this happen?
00:08:50 What was the experience like?
00:08:52 - I think I partly went back to university
00:08:56 because I was approaching 50.
00:08:59 And I've always said this,
00:09:01 that age is definitely a mathematical problem,
00:09:05 but it is not a sum of division
00:09:07 where you're reduced to what,
00:09:10 you know, a fraction of what you were.
00:09:11 It could be a multiplication sum if you grow.
00:09:14 Now at this.
00:09:15 - I have no understanding of what you just said.
00:09:17 (laughing)
00:09:18 Math was not my strong suit,
00:09:19 but like, did you just make sense?
00:09:20 - Actually that's a big lie.
00:09:22 That's a big lie because you told me
00:09:23 that you were a school topper.
00:09:25 It's just that you don't look like any sort of topper.
00:09:27 You look like a bottom, but no, sorry.
00:09:29 We can't make that joke.
00:09:30 - You just made it.
00:09:31 - I didn't make it.
00:09:32 I stopped.
00:09:33 - Go back to the sum of some parts
00:09:35 that you were talking about.
00:09:36 I don't know what it meant, but anyway.
00:09:38 - It meant that you have to keep growing.
00:09:39 And at this age, as you're very well aware,
00:09:42 the easiest way is to grow horizontally.
00:09:44 So I'm trying to grow in different ways
00:09:45 and not just horizontally.
00:09:47 - All right.
00:09:47 (speaking in foreign language)
00:09:50 - So it's kind of expanded your repertoire
00:09:53 of knowledge, information, and spread all of that
00:09:56 after you're done.
00:09:57 - That was even more boring
00:09:58 than what I was originally saying.
00:09:59 - Okay.
00:10:00 - But okay, let's go on.
00:10:01 - Yes, but the thing is, what you're not telling us,
00:10:03 and what I will share with everyone here,
00:10:05 is that you beat the ass out of everyone there.
00:10:09 Like you did so fantastic.
00:10:11 You were distinction, superior distinction,
00:10:13 whatever they call it.
00:10:13 You were the topper.
00:10:14 You were the school topper there.
00:10:15 - Exceptional distinction is what they call it.
00:10:16 - Exceptional distinction.
00:10:18 Yes, that also happened.
00:10:20 But do you feel it enriched you as an author?
00:10:22 - No, but I definitely think that you've been casting
00:10:25 all the wrong people in student of the year.
00:10:27 You should have cast me.
00:10:28 I'm the student of the year.
00:10:30 And you just keep taking all these random people
00:10:32 and making them.
00:10:33 - You fit the tag.
00:10:34 You are also from the school of nepotism.
00:10:36 - Of course.
00:10:38 - Very happily, you actually tick so many boxes.
00:10:42 And let's not go back to the time
00:10:43 when I did try and cast you
00:10:44 and was rejected very heartbreakingly.
00:10:47 But anyway, you paved the way.
00:10:49 - Let me go back to the time when actually
00:10:51 you were in love with me because my testosterone was 11
00:10:54 and I thought I was a man.
00:10:56 I didn't have a penis,
00:10:57 but I've always had the balls
00:10:58 and you were in love with me.
00:11:00 Can we go back to that bit?
00:11:01 - I can see Shabana ji dwindling in her seat
00:11:06 into like shock, despair and horror.
00:11:11 And not just that,
00:11:12 next to her is a very worried Vidya
00:11:15 and an absolutely traumatized Chiara.
00:11:17 - No, Chiara is traumatized.
00:11:19 I had to change the passage for her this morning
00:11:21 because she says,
00:11:22 "This is very controversial.
00:11:23 I can't read this."
00:11:25 - But Chiara's controversial meter is really quite low.
00:11:28 I want to, many things shock and surprise her.
00:11:32 The book, the four chapters and one novella.
00:11:36 I have to say this.
00:11:39 This is exceptional writing.
00:11:41 And I'm not just saying it
00:11:42 because I'm a friend.
00:11:43 It's exceptional writing.
00:11:45 - You are saying it because you're my friend.
00:11:47 Also because you based "Rocky Rani"
00:11:49 apparently on my marriage.
00:11:50 That's what everyone is saying.
00:11:52 I don't know.
00:11:52 Is that true?
00:11:53 - No.
00:11:54 - How much can you leech off me, man?
00:11:56 - It was just, it was an unconvent.
00:11:58 It was two people coming together
00:11:59 who come from different schools of thought.
00:12:01 That doesn't mean it's your marriage, Tina.
00:12:03 And everything is not about you.
00:12:04 - It was in the press.
00:12:06 - Well, that's okay.
00:12:06 - You gave an interview.
00:12:07 I didn't say these things.
00:12:09 - Don't go by what I say.
00:12:11 - So here's what I'm talking about.
00:12:13 There is, of course, you've touched upon so many themes.
00:12:17 Thematically, it is dark, of course.
00:12:19 It's heartbreaking, very heartbreaking.
00:12:22 It deals with death in a way
00:12:23 that I haven't really seen.
00:12:25 Yet there is so much humor
00:12:27 and dark humor laced right through it.
00:12:29 I also feel like it's very internal
00:12:32 because you've gone very deeply internal.
00:12:34 You've gone back to your childhood.
00:12:36 There's a lot of references
00:12:37 or other inspiration from your nani,
00:12:40 her Islamic side and,
00:12:42 Ismaili side, sorry.
00:12:45 And there's also a lot of very, very, very wonderfully
00:12:50 and deliciously written eccentric women.
00:12:55 You know, all of them of a certain age,
00:12:58 all of them eccentric,
00:12:59 breaking every myth, stereotype
00:13:01 of what we read of women of a certain age.
00:13:05 All of this in four short stories and one novella,
00:13:08 I mean, it's no mean achievement.
00:13:10 Congratulations.
00:13:11 - Thank you.
00:13:12 Thank you, that's very kind.
00:13:13 Thank you.
00:13:14 - So we'll go back to the fact that this big diversion,
00:13:18 this creative diversion that you took from your last book,
00:13:21 about fitting into it,
00:13:25 about the comfortable pajamas,
00:13:27 this is a totally different leap that you've taken.
00:13:31 And was that also a conscious decision
00:13:34 or is it just part of the evolution of an author?
00:13:36 - No, if I'm honest,
00:13:38 I think in my last book, I made a lot of compromises.
00:13:41 I was under a lot of pressure,
00:13:43 internal pressure, external pressure.
00:13:45 You're Mrs. Funnybones,
00:13:46 there has to be a joke on every page.
00:13:48 My protagonists were originally 60,
00:13:50 I had to make them, you know, like 30.
00:13:52 So I felt that I had, you know,
00:13:55 done a disservice to myself.
00:13:56 And then in this book,
00:13:58 I was very clear that there are jokes,
00:14:00 but only if they service the story.
00:14:02 And there are all these amazing women.
00:14:05 And I'm fascinated by older women.
00:14:08 It's, there's a certain richness
00:14:11 and a texture in their stories that younger people,
00:14:13 well, most younger people may not have,
00:14:15 but the way that the world looks at them,
00:14:18 it's like the minute you start putting on a hearing aid,
00:14:20 everybody else around you becomes deaf
00:14:22 because that's the way it is.
00:14:24 Nobody really wants to hear older people.
00:14:27 And I know that you're a big advocate of youth.
00:14:30 We have discussed this, that how do you stay relevant?
00:14:33 No, really, don't, don't make that face.
00:14:34 I'm not saying anything bad.
00:14:36 You said it was by immersing yourself, you know,
00:14:38 amongst young people, which is why you love, you know,
00:14:41 Shanaya and Anaya and Kiara and Alia, which is great.
00:14:44 - She's Ananya.
00:14:45 - Okay, Ananya also.
00:14:47 You know Anaya's also.
00:14:48 But I think that,
00:14:51 but I think that every phase is interesting.
00:14:55 - I don't know why I come year after year.
00:14:58 - No, but it's a good thing.
00:15:00 - I don't know why you bother.
00:15:02 - We had a very long conversation.
00:15:04 We were talking about some directors,
00:15:05 which we can't name.
00:15:06 And he said that, you know, those are obsolete,
00:15:08 they are fossils and all these awful things about them.
00:15:11 And then,
00:15:12 and then he said, you know, you have to be relevant.
00:15:16 And that's why I hang around with young people.
00:15:18 And I said, yeah, I just don't like people.
00:15:19 So I can't hang around with young people.
00:15:21 So I'll go and study.
00:15:22 But that was because we are fossils now.
00:15:25 We are 50, the world that we grew up in doesn't exist.
00:15:28 So how do we stay fresh and reinvent ourselves?
00:15:30 You've chosen, you know, the fountain of youth
00:15:33 like a vampire, you suck all the blood
00:15:36 of these young people.
00:15:37 And I've tried a more sedate approach.
00:15:39 - So basically what we've deduced from this
00:15:48 is that in conversation is a wannabe young mind.
00:15:53 And I'm talking to a prolific evolved mind.
00:15:56 Basically, that is what our deduction is
00:15:58 from this particular answer.
00:16:01 And I'm very grateful that I've been invited
00:16:04 to kind of ask you questions.
00:16:06 And I'll go back with an exceptionally
00:16:08 low self-esteem tonight.
00:16:10 But that's fine.
00:16:12 I've combated trolls, you're nothing.
00:16:15 - I'm nothing.
00:16:16 And I love you.
00:16:17 And this is all coming from how much I love you.
00:16:20 - But before we--
00:16:21 - I love everything about you.
00:16:22 I love this Gucci suit.
00:16:23 - And you love the sound of your own voice.
00:16:25 - No, but I love you.
00:16:26 - I want to kind of special mention to Jaggu.
00:16:29 I hope he's in the room here.
00:16:31 Jaggu, we love you.
00:16:33 We always have and always will.
00:16:36 And Jaggu, I hope you know that you have
00:16:38 a special mention in the book.
00:16:40 Yes, and there's a beautiful mention
00:16:44 in one of the short stories.
00:16:45 And we just wanted to say that to you
00:16:47 with all our love and all our heart.
00:16:49 Give all your love to Jackie Shroff, ladies and gentlemen.
00:16:55 (audience applauding)
00:16:58 - So we weren't really sure if Jaggu was coming
00:17:02 because every time I invited him,
00:17:03 he responded with a picture of a plant.
00:17:05 So I know what that meant, but I'm so glad he's here.
00:17:09 And yes, he's in the book.
00:17:12 He has a cameo.
00:17:13 He has a cameo, which is a really, really great cameo.
00:17:18 And then Rakhi Sawant has a small cameo as well.
00:17:22 She does.
00:17:22 - Well, you just made her day
00:17:23 and we'll hear about it on Instagram.
00:17:27 All this, of course, so you know,
00:17:29 is Mrs. Funnybones planning to make any kind of,
00:17:32 besides your columns, you know, that you still,
00:17:35 your recent column is a huge hit online,
00:17:38 addressing many important and relevant topics.
00:17:40 - Not really, it was a fallout from your show.
00:17:43 That was my last column because you call people
00:17:46 on your show, then you trap them,
00:17:47 then they say silly things and they get into trouble
00:17:49 and then I write a column defending them.
00:17:51 It's an old thing.
00:17:52 We've done this many times.
00:17:53 - Yes, yes, it's all you.
00:17:54 You've done it every day.
00:17:56 You'll cure cancer one day.
00:17:59 - Almost.
00:18:00 - I know you will, I know you will.
00:18:02 I absolutely know you will.
00:18:03 You know, I had a train of thought
00:18:05 before I sat on this chair
00:18:06 and it's obviously been derailed
00:18:08 because of all the absolute pearls of wisdom
00:18:11 that are coming my way.
00:18:13 Death is a recurring theme in your shorts
00:18:18 and in the book.
00:18:21 Death is something that we all have our own feelings
00:18:26 about, some fear it, some want it,
00:18:29 some are completely traumatized
00:18:32 by the idea of losing loved ones.
00:18:34 They fear the loneliness post that.
00:18:36 You've dealt with death in the most intriguing aspect.
00:18:39 Is there something about death that fascinates you?
00:18:42 - I think it depends on every stage.
00:18:46 I'm at a stage where, like a lot of people,
00:18:49 our grandparents are gone.
00:18:50 One parent is gone and then you start looking at it
00:18:54 and you know that the time that's left ahead
00:18:56 is not the same as what you've already crossed.
00:18:58 So that kind of stays in your head
00:19:01 and human beings have this delusion
00:19:04 and that's the only way we survive,
00:19:06 that we pretend we're immortal
00:19:07 and the people we love are immortal.
00:19:08 But when you really face that fact, what do you do?
00:19:12 So I have a story in this about a woman who's 86
00:19:15 who wants to avail of euthanasia
00:19:18 and how that entire sort of psychological journey
00:19:23 takes place.
00:19:24 And what's interesting in that story
00:19:26 is that she sends it to a judge
00:19:29 and she tells him also to do the same thing.
00:19:33 - Yeah, she sends it to the chief justice actually.
00:19:34 She was going to send it to the president of India
00:19:38 but then we have a lawyer friend sitting there
00:19:39 who said, "Can you not write this
00:19:40 "and just make it chief justice?"
00:19:42 So I said, "Okay, fine."
00:19:43 There he is at the back saying--
00:19:44 - Yeah, but you know you already said
00:19:45 what your lawyer told you not to say.
00:19:47 - He's not my lawyer, but yeah, okay.
00:19:49 - I don't know, one of us is gonna get into trouble
00:19:53 at the end of this interaction
00:19:54 and I hope it's not me because it invariably is.
00:19:58 No, so this book, today where it stands
00:20:02 and where you're at, you've written this book,
00:20:06 you live between two cities,
00:20:08 you've educated yourself at this age and stage,
00:20:12 you're writing your columns,
00:20:14 and now what is the next plan?
00:20:17 - Now, I don't know actually.
00:20:21 So I say these things and then sometimes they happen.
00:20:24 I've been saying I want to study.
00:20:25 I used to take Arav to this education counselor
00:20:28 and I used to keep saying, "I wanna go back to university,
00:20:30 "I wanna go back to university."
00:20:31 And he teased me and he said,
00:20:33 "This is the time to look after your children."
00:20:35 And I said, "Listen, that's really misogynistic.
00:20:36 "I'm gonna put it in a column."
00:20:37 And then he started laughing,
00:20:38 but he did help me get back to university.
00:20:40 So I say things and then they kind of happen
00:20:43 and I think for the last two, three years,
00:20:45 I've been saying I want to become health minister.
00:20:47 So I don't know whether that's gonna happen
00:20:49 but I'm just gonna keep repeating it again and again
00:20:51 and then maybe, who knows, it may just happen.
00:20:54 - Well, you manifested it'll happen.
00:20:57 It'll happen.
00:20:58 All right, that was lovely.
00:21:00 I have some quick questions to ask you
00:21:02 which you can give very quick answers to.
00:21:03 Hopefully, they will be.
00:21:05 What do you prefer, Twinkle?
00:21:08 Best-selling author or critically acclaimed one
00:21:11 with no sales at all?
00:21:12 - I want to be Karan Johar with my own show,
00:21:16 Coffee with Karan, where I make so much money
00:21:18 and I also go to people's birthday parties
00:21:20 and they give me a crore for that.
00:21:22 I wanna be that person.
00:21:26 - Are you speaking to my agency by any chance?
00:21:29 And are they divulging details
00:21:31 that they're not supposed to?
00:21:32 And what do you mean?
00:21:33 I've been invited to various events to play rapid fire,
00:21:37 even at a children's party, not just over there.
00:21:40 And I have accepted that invite.
00:21:43 - I think that's really good.
00:21:44 My husband says that he'll go for anything as well,
00:21:46 including mundans.
00:21:47 And yeah, so that's fine.
00:21:49 - Your husband and I think alike.
00:21:50 I've been to a child's birthday party,
00:21:52 but the child was, lo and behold, two years old.
00:21:55 So there was not much of an interaction
00:21:58 I really could have had, but I was there.
00:22:00 Thematically in your book,
00:22:02 and I'm only saying it because of that,
00:22:03 this is not a dark question,
00:22:05 death by euthanasia when you think you're done
00:22:08 or by natural forces?
00:22:10 - I think, well, it depends.
00:22:15 It depends upon my situation.
00:22:17 But yeah, everybody wants to kind of die in their sleep,
00:22:20 but it doesn't happen.
00:22:21 So then maybe euthanasia when it's all done with.
00:22:24 And I know that I don't have much ahead.
00:22:27 - All right, and lastly, an eccentric family.
00:22:29 You write many characters who are eccentric
00:22:32 or a hum saath saath hai one.
00:22:34 - I have an eccentric family that is hum saath saath hai.
00:22:38 They never leave me and they're completely batty.
00:22:41 I mean, my mother is sitting there
00:22:43 and the things that she says to me,
00:22:44 I've given her my book and she says,
00:22:46 "No, I've not read it yet because it's in my temple."
00:22:48 I think she's waiting for Shivji to read it
00:22:50 and give a review and then she'll read it.
00:22:52 I'm not quite sure.
00:22:53 - She may not have read your last one either.
00:22:56 Oh, she read it?
00:22:57 - She did and then she underlined passages
00:22:59 and then tried to explain to me
00:23:00 what I had originally written.
00:23:02 - All right, well, mothers are allowed to do anything.
00:23:04 And then I was gonna ask you for some rating
00:23:07 before I close this chapter with you.
00:23:10 Rate yourself on the following,
00:23:12 as out of 10, as a mother.
00:23:15 - I'm not answering these questions.
00:23:16 I'm not on coffee with Karan.
00:23:17 I'm not answering these questions.
00:23:19 - Why?
00:23:20 - I don't want to, I'm not on coffee with Karan.
00:23:22 - You're gonna give me an answer.
00:23:23 You called me, now you do what I want you to do.
00:23:25 - Okay, I will.
00:23:27 You rate, who do you think is the hottest person?
00:23:30 You love these questions.
00:23:31 Sidharth Malhotra, Vicky Kaushal, Shah Rukh Khan,
00:23:36 Ranveer Singh, these are your favorite questions.
00:23:39 - All of us are narcissistic, I'm the hottest person.
00:23:42 - I agree with you.
00:23:42 In my world, you are the hottest.
00:23:44 - Yeah, so then I'm glad we agree on that.
00:23:47 So tell me, rank yourself on one to 10.
00:23:49 How are you as a mother, according to you?
00:23:52 - I rate myself as a person.
00:23:54 I'm six and I'm trying to become seven and that's it.
00:23:57 That's good enough.
00:23:58 I have many years left.
00:23:58 - So you cover all bases in that, as a daughter,
00:24:00 as a wife, as an author.
00:24:03 You're a six person.
00:24:04 - I'm a six, I'm happy being six.
00:24:06 - Well, consistency is also a strength to have.
00:24:08 - Yeah.
00:24:09 - It was an absolute--
00:24:10 - Okay, can you now call the readers, please?
00:24:11 You're really troubling me.
00:24:12 - Let me complete.
00:24:13 It was an absolute, absolute displeasure
00:24:16 being in conversation with you.
00:24:18 I hope never to repeat this mistake again.
00:24:22 - You have to come again.
00:24:23 - I also hope your book really sells like hotcakes,
00:24:28 which I know it's going to.
00:24:29 I hope it's going to top every chart.
00:24:31 I say this with my love,
00:24:33 with lots of love from the bottom of my heart.
00:24:35 I ain't interviewing you again after this.
00:24:37 - You have to come back, unless you pop it,
00:24:40 then we have that picture, but don't, yeah?
00:24:41 Just wait now, please.
00:24:42 - I've never known, so I'm going to tell my mother--
00:24:44 - Can you call the readers, please?
00:24:44 - I will, I will, I'm good.
00:24:45 - Okay, thank you.
00:24:47 - Would you like to leave, but before that, yes, yes.
00:24:49 Give me a hug.
00:24:50 (audience applauding)
00:24:53 All right, I was going to say give it up, but don't.
00:24:59 She doesn't need to hear any more applause.
00:25:03 I'm going to call our first reader, possibly the best actor.
00:25:07 I mean, an institution and beyond.
00:25:10 I mean, you don't actually need to go to an institution
00:25:14 to learn about acting, just watch her movies.
00:25:16 Please welcome none other than someone
00:25:19 I've recently had the pleasure to work with, Shabana Azmi.
00:25:22 (audience applauding)
00:25:25 - Okay, so I have the pleasure
00:25:34 of being the first reader today,
00:25:38 and it's a gem, like all things Twinkle Writes.
00:25:43 In one corner of Huma's living room,
00:25:48 uncles, aunts, cousins are debating
00:25:51 over what to do with Amma's body.
00:25:53 This is not a traditional approach,
00:25:56 but her religious legacy is not
00:25:58 what they consider regular either.
00:26:00 Amma was born into an Ismaili Muslim family.
00:26:05 Huma's father, who loved his sweet dal
00:26:08 and his puja mom with silver idols
00:26:11 that he polished every week,
00:26:13 agreed to a conversion ceremony to placate Amma's parents.
00:26:18 He was a funny man, her father.
00:26:20 On Tuesdays, he would go to the temple,
00:26:23 and on Fridays, he accompanied Amma to the Jamaat Khana.
00:26:26 To the people who questioned his all-encompassing breed,
00:26:30 he said, "Religion is like a tree.
00:26:33 "It doesn't matter which side you choose to sleep under.
00:26:37 "They all provide shade."
00:26:38 Huma remembers asking him, "Daddy, tell the truth.
00:26:43 "You copied this tree bit from your Osho book, right?"
00:26:46 "Like me, my dialogues are also original,"
00:26:50 he had replied in Gujarati.
00:26:52 When he passed away, he was cremated
00:26:54 at the Shivaji Park Cemetery, just as he had wished,
00:26:58 and without any of the fuss
00:27:00 accompanying her mother's funeral.
00:27:02 In the noisy living room,
00:27:05 the extended family has divided itself into two factions.
00:27:08 Team crematorium, led by Padma Bain,
00:27:12 Huma's father's sister,
00:27:14 claims that like Huma's father, Amma must also be cremated.
00:27:19 Team cemetery includes the relatives from Amma's side.
00:27:23 They argue that since she has spent her entire life
00:27:26 following this smiley face, she should be buried.
00:27:31 Murad, Amma's geriatric nephew, is holding court.
00:27:35 He had once locked up his mother in a flat
00:27:38 because she would not sign some legal documents.
00:27:41 Each day, he would load a basket with lunch and dinner
00:27:44 from his apartment to his mother's bedroom window,
00:27:47 a floor below.
00:27:49 When Huma heard about this incident, she told Amma,
00:27:53 "This is terrible on Murad's part.
00:27:55 "He could have at least sent her breakfast too."
00:27:59 Amma had looked at Huma with a blank expression on her face
00:28:02 before letting out a guttural laugh.
00:28:05 "Good joke, Huma," she recalls her mother saying.
00:28:09 People don't remember commonplace things.
00:28:13 They remember first times and rare occasions.
00:28:17 Amma's compliments were seldom tossed in Huma's direction.
00:28:22 She watches them bicker, Padma Bain and Murad,
00:28:25 burn, bury, burn, bury,
00:28:29 two words that differ by a single letter.
00:28:33 She looks at her brother sitting beside Amma's body,
00:28:36 ignoring the cacophony.
00:28:38 She forgot about the dupatta.
00:28:40 "Sara, does that girl ever listen?"
00:28:43 Huma gets back on her feet and goes to her room.
00:28:46 Sara and Saurabh are playing a game on Huma's iPad.
00:28:51 "Sara, what is wrong with you?
00:28:52 I asked you to get the dupatta.
00:28:55 Your cupboard is locked," her daughter says.
00:28:58 "What am I supposed to do?
00:28:59 Break it down."
00:29:01 Thank you.
00:29:02 (audience applauding)
00:29:04 - Thank you so much, Shobhanaji.
00:29:06 Thank you so very much for doing that.
00:29:08 Thank you.
00:29:08 Our next reader has broken every stereotype, every myth,
00:29:14 led at the box office like no one else on her own might,
00:29:19 emerged as one of our finest actors
00:29:21 and continues to score on every platform,
00:29:24 digitally and on celluloid.
00:29:27 She's just an absolute delight and a pleasure to watch.
00:29:30 I'm a big fan.
00:29:31 Please welcome Vidya Balan.
00:29:33 (audience applauding)
00:29:36 - Akshay, thank you.
00:29:46 (Vidya laughing)
00:29:48 Hi, everyone, and congratulations, Twinkle.
00:29:51 (audience laughing)
00:29:53 I've enjoyed the bits that I've read.
00:29:56 I haven't read the entire book,
00:29:57 but I can't wait to read the rest.
00:29:59 After Pippi got married,
00:30:06 there was a period of 20-odd years
00:30:07 when they didn't see each other.
00:30:09 She met him again at her Aunt Kusum's funeral,
00:30:12 a somber occasion shadowed by the aftermaths of the emergency
00:30:17 and Indira Gandhi's recent electoral defeat.
00:30:20 Her father would have been devastated.
00:30:23 Nehru had been his idol.
00:30:25 Her father had bought their first radio
00:30:28 when a neighbor had told him
00:30:29 that Nehru's speech as the first Prime Minister of India
00:30:32 would be broadcast live
00:30:34 close to midnight on the 14th of August.
00:30:36 Funny tricks her mind played these days.
00:30:41 It wandered like a dog let off the leash,
00:30:43 sniffing out and chewing on whatever it found,
00:30:46 desiccated corncobs and dead birds.
00:30:49 Nehru, Pippi, her father, Indira.
00:30:52 Like her, Pippi had come to offer condolences.
00:30:55 They were both in their 40s by then.
00:30:58 There was a softness to the edge of his chin,
00:31:00 the line of his shoulders.
00:31:03 He looked prosperous and content
00:31:05 as he stood amidst a group of men all in white kurtas.
00:31:09 He looked in her direction, distantly at first,
00:31:12 and then his eyes steadied as he recognized her.
00:31:16 It was a hushed conversation,
00:31:18 Pippi keeping his voice down like the others in the room.
00:31:21 Questions, the kind you ask acquaintances
00:31:25 about jobs and relatives.
00:31:27 Then he asked if she still lived on Tilak Road.
00:31:31 She told him that after her father had passed away,
00:31:34 she had taken a teaching job
00:31:35 at a boarding school in Panchgani.
00:31:38 She would be in Bombay for the summer break
00:31:40 and then would return to Panchgani.
00:31:42 He said work brought him to Bombay often
00:31:44 and asked if he could come and have tea with her
00:31:46 the following Tuesday.
00:31:48 He arrived two hours late,
00:31:50 with the air of conviviality that he always carried with him.
00:31:54 The train had been delayed, he said,
00:31:56 offering her a newspaper-wrapped package as an apology.
00:31:59 It was the first time he brought her vada pav
00:32:02 from the station,
00:32:04 a tradition that would last for over four decades.
00:32:07 Madhura never told him that she didn't like pav.
00:32:11 She had just a few pictures of them together.
00:32:16 People usually took photographs on their holidays,
00:32:21 but they'd never been on one.
00:32:23 It had largely been the two of them
00:32:25 spending time at her flat
00:32:27 and occasionally going for long drives
00:32:29 and to the racecourse.
00:32:31 Perhaps she wasn't as comfortable as Bipi
00:32:34 about lying to people about their relationship,
00:32:37 or she'd simply been content.
00:32:39 But over the years, Madhura slowly cut herself off
00:32:42 from neighbors and friends.
00:32:44 Her life had revolved around her students and classes,
00:32:47 and during the holidays, Bipi.
00:32:50 When she retired from teaching, it had only been Bipi.
00:32:54 Her fingers were twitching again,
00:32:56 as if she were trying to fan herself
00:32:58 with the Polaroid she had picked up from the bed.
00:33:01 It had been taken on her 50th birthday.
00:33:03 Her hair was in a bun,
00:33:06 with a rose tucked incongruously behind her ear.
00:33:09 Bipi, with his characteristic smile
00:33:12 that didn't curve at the ends,
00:33:14 but lit up his face in a horizontal line,
00:33:16 sat opposite her,
00:33:18 his gray hair pushed away from his broad forehead.
00:33:21 Even by Bipi's standard,
00:33:23 it was an extravagant meal
00:33:25 at Sea Rock Hotel's revolving restaurant.
00:33:29 The restaurant rotated on a conveyor belt,
00:33:31 a carousel where tables and chairs
00:33:33 laden with Chinese dishes replaced rocking horses.
00:33:36 They timed it, Bipi and her.
00:33:38 The restaurant took exactly 36 minutes to complete a circuit.
00:33:42 Madhura was used to roadside eateries
00:33:46 where food was placed on large steel plates,
00:33:48 and napkins were a rarity.
00:33:50 She only ordered one dish, vegetable spring rolls,
00:33:54 partly because the rotating motion of the restaurant
00:33:57 made her stomach feel queasy,
00:33:59 and also because of the extravagant prices
00:34:01 printed on the menu.
00:34:03 She felt out of place in her plain sari
00:34:05 and Kolhapuri sandals,
00:34:07 sitting besides the wealthy and famous
00:34:09 in their printed chiffons.
00:34:11 When she told Bipi this,
00:34:13 he plucked a rose from the barbers on their table.
00:34:16 He broke the stem and tucked the flower into her hair.
00:34:20 He told her she looked like the famous
00:34:22 Doordarshan news reader, Salma Sultan.
00:34:25 Among the waiters carrying platters
00:34:27 of chicken Manchurian and American chop suey,
00:34:30 a photographer with a Polaroid camera
00:34:32 stopped at tables and offered to take pictures of the guests.
00:34:36 Bipi called out to him,
00:34:38 "Take a nice picture, Shichar, of us," he said.
00:34:41 And then in a louder voice,
00:34:43 as if he thought he owed the man an explanation,
00:34:46 as well as anyone else watching them,
00:34:48 he added, "It's my cousin's birthday."
00:34:51 He told her that the first revolving restaurant
00:34:55 was not this one in Bombay, as the newspapers claimed,
00:34:59 but in his Surat.
00:35:01 "However, the food is better here," he added.
00:35:04 Madhura wondered if he had gone there with his wife,
00:35:08 if he had tucked roses into her hair too.
00:35:11 In the beginning, there had been guilt
00:35:13 and even a sense of shame about his marital status.
00:35:17 She didn't know if it had disappeared over time
00:35:21 or she had just blocked it out.
00:35:23 She once asked Bipi if anyone questioned him
00:35:27 about their relationship.
00:35:29 He hesitated at first and then said,
00:35:31 "My son brought it up.
00:35:34 "Now, don't feel bad, but I had to say these things.
00:35:37 "I just told him that Madhura bhen is related to us
00:35:40 "and she's all by herself.
00:35:42 "I go to meet her because I feel bad for her."
00:35:45 Though she knew Bipi would deny it,
00:35:48 she felt that his decision to sometimes bring Raju to Bombay
00:35:52 was more than about exposing him to a wider world
00:35:54 beyond Surat, as he claimed.
00:35:57 It was also calculated to deflect any suspicions
00:36:00 his family, especially his wife, Malti may have had.
00:36:03 Bipi rarely mentioned his wife or spoke,
00:36:07 Bipi rarely mentioned his wife
00:36:10 or spoke about his life in Surat.
00:36:12 In a way, living in two different cities made it easier,
00:36:16 not just for Bipi, but for her as well.
00:36:19 She could pretend that when he left her flat,
00:36:22 he simply disappeared into the ether.
00:36:25 Sea Rock Hotel was gone.
00:36:27 It never recovered from the Tedros blast of 1993.
00:36:31 It stood there, an empty shell,
00:36:33 shattered glass panes facing the sea,
00:36:36 the facade crumbling away
00:36:38 until it was raised to the ground two decades later.
00:36:42 Thank you.
00:36:43 (audience applauding)
00:36:46 - Thank you, Vidya, thank you very, very much.
00:36:49 And our last reader,
00:36:51 literally is the blockbuster girl today.
00:36:54 From displaying her acting chops on every platform,
00:36:58 digitally or on celluloid,
00:37:00 to making the most perfect, beautiful celluloid face
00:37:03 on screen as well as as a bride.
00:37:06 She made her husband wait, but she was here on time.
00:37:09 Please welcome the gorgeous Kiara Advani.
00:37:12 (audience applauding)
00:37:15 - Good evening, everyone.
00:37:21 Twinkle, congratulations,
00:37:23 and thank you for inviting me to read at your book launch.
00:37:26 I must say that I admire your writing style,
00:37:29 and I'm very glad that I'll be reading a few pages
00:37:31 of a very, very beautiful chapter.
00:37:34 So without further ado, in the author's words,
00:37:37 unlike the rest of the family,
00:37:41 Afshan never displayed overt sympathy,
00:37:44 nor did she allow Nushrat to be forgotten in the room.
00:37:47 Treating her as she had during their childhood,
00:37:50 the elder sister playfully drummed her scalp
00:37:53 while oiling her hair,
00:37:54 tickled her while chopping vegetables.
00:37:57 When Amma scolded her, she brushed it off with,
00:38:00 "I just wanna hear that funny laugh Nushrat has.
00:38:03 You know how she sounds,
00:38:04 like some old woman with a phlegmy cough?"
00:38:07 Then she would hunch her back
00:38:09 and produce a strange gurgling sound,
00:38:11 making Muni, Amma, and Afshan laugh.
00:38:14 Amma had planted marigolds near the window
00:38:16 to deter mosquitoes.
00:38:18 Through the day, just as the marigolds reached the sun,
00:38:22 Nushrat found herself drawn to her elder sister.
00:38:25 She was warmed by Afshan's relentless cheer
00:38:27 and meaningless prattle.
00:38:29 In the months following Sabu's death,
00:38:32 Nushrat had struggled to distinguish
00:38:34 between reality and her imagination.
00:38:37 She had seen signs everywhere.
00:38:39 If a crow came to the window,
00:38:42 then it was Sabu coming to talk to her.
00:38:44 When birds flew in a pattern across the sky,
00:38:47 it was a signal from him.
00:38:49 A branch moving was him waving.
00:38:51 The Bombay flat had been filled with his presence.
00:38:54 He was ringing the doorbell,
00:38:56 he was behind the door in the kitchen,
00:38:57 he was hiding in the bathroom.
00:39:00 When she tried to speak,
00:39:01 it felt like there was a pebble lodged in her throat.
00:39:04 She had to navigate around the obstruction,
00:39:07 push against it repeatedly in order to get a word out.
00:39:10 When she did, her voice emerged raspy,
00:39:14 a feeble sound struggling to be heard.
00:39:17 It was easier to stay silent.
00:39:19 Afshan arranged an appointment with a specialist in Bombay.
00:39:23 The doctor conducted a thorough examination
00:39:25 and diagnosed strained and tight vocal cords.
00:39:29 "We must free that throat," he explained,
00:39:31 touching her neck and her chest.
00:39:34 He added as his fingers slid lower than required.
00:39:39 Nushrat was given vocal exercises
00:39:42 to stretch her throat muscles,
00:39:44 and she managed to produce a few feeble sounds.
00:39:47 I have heard of a patient in Calcutta who could not speak,
00:39:50 and after five years,
00:39:52 she coughed so violently that she vomited,
00:39:55 and out it came, a button
00:39:57 that had lodged behind her vocal cords.
00:40:00 The doctor laughed and added,
00:40:01 "But there is nothing in your throat, I can assure you.
00:40:05 I would just tell you,
00:40:06 push your shoulders back and massage your throat daily.
00:40:09 We need to open up the space there.
00:40:11 And yes, hum, practice humming every day.
00:40:14 You know, Suraiya, she came to see me
00:40:16 during the time she was working in Mirza Ghalib.
00:40:19 You have seen that one, yes?"
00:40:21 Her voice felt restricted and lost power.
00:40:24 I gave her the same advice,
00:40:25 and look how she sang in that movie.
00:40:28 Superb, superb, simply superb.
00:40:31 Afshan, relieved that his sister
00:40:35 did not have a permanent physical ailment,
00:40:38 was even more determined to break down her silence.
00:40:41 Every morning, the radio's crochet cover was flung aside,
00:40:45 and the sisters would hum together.
00:40:47 As Nushrat attempted to form words,
00:40:50 Amma and Afshan would sing along
00:40:52 with the songs on Radio Salon's Aap Hi Ke Geet program.
00:40:56 When a song by Suraiya would play on the radio,
00:40:59 Afshan would sing even louder in her usual tone-deaf way,
00:41:03 and then end with an imitation of Dr. Chandramani
00:41:07 saying, "Superb, superb, simply superb."
00:41:10 (audience applauding)
00:41:14 - Thank you, Kiara, thank you so, so much.
00:41:16 Thank you to all the three wonderful ladies
00:41:19 who read chapters out of this absolutely special book.
00:41:22 I'd like to call Twinkle back on stage, please.
00:41:24 (audience applauding)
00:41:31 All right, ladies and gentlemen,
00:41:35 this is the time of evening
00:41:37 where we put her on the spot.
00:41:38 We have questions from the house, we're happy to take them.
00:41:41 We'd appreciate it if they were related to her and her book.
00:41:46 - Okay, thank you for that.
00:41:50 - Yes, just as a disclaimer before.
00:41:53 Yes?
00:41:54 - Okay.
00:42:06 - Separating yourself from being a mother
00:42:08 and finding your own identity.
00:42:09 - My daughter's here, and I think most of this book
00:42:15 I wrote at 4.35 in the morning in the dark
00:42:19 when she was sleeping next to me.
00:42:21 And there is a line in the book where
00:42:23 Homa looks at her daughter and says that her daughter,
00:42:28 she doesn't know if her daughter is beautiful or not,
00:42:29 but when she looks at her, she feels the same way
00:42:32 when she looks at majestic objects like Taj Mahal
00:42:35 and the Golden Temple.
00:42:37 And I think I felt like that about my child.
00:42:39 So the one thing I can say about being a mother
00:42:43 is the fact that you have to really carve out that time
00:42:46 and protect that time because children invariably look at,
00:42:50 when you're working, they will come to you.
00:42:52 And another place where they want you
00:42:54 is when you're in the bathroom.
00:42:55 So these two places, whenever they see
00:42:57 that you're at your desk or the bathroom,
00:42:58 they keep calling out to you.
00:43:00 So I think sometimes you feel
00:43:02 that you're being a little selfish,
00:43:03 but then if you do accomplish something,
00:43:05 then you're also setting yourself up
00:43:07 as a role model for these young girls.
00:43:09 And hopefully you feel a little less guilty like that.
00:43:12 That's all I can say.
00:43:13 - Thank you. - Thank you.
00:43:15 (audience applauding)
00:43:17 - Who else?
00:43:18 Yes, yes, sir.
00:43:21 Mike's just coming to you.
00:43:22 - Hello, ma'am.
00:43:28 Am I audible?
00:43:29 Yeah, hi, my name is Amandeep and I'm a writer.
00:43:31 So as a writer to be another writer,
00:43:33 I wanted to ask, we all tend to hide a lot of our secrets
00:43:37 in the things that we write.
00:43:38 So is there any secret that you've hidden in this book
00:43:42 which you might not have talked about to anyone?
00:43:45 - And so you think I'm gonna tell you now?
00:43:47 I mean.
00:43:47 - Maybe where it is so that you can try deducing it.
00:43:50 - I mean, definitely your stories will have the truth,
00:43:55 but the truth, I would say in a very simple analogy
00:43:59 is like a potato.
00:44:00 You can make aloo jeera, you can make French fries,
00:44:02 but the chemical composition of the truth does not change.
00:44:05 So is the truth present in my stories?
00:44:07 Yes.
00:44:08 Will you be able to recognize it?
00:44:09 No, and I'm not going to tell you which parts are true,
00:44:11 obviously, otherwise I would have written a memoir.
00:44:14 And my mother would have killed me.
00:44:15 That's another reason.
00:44:17 - Thank you, thank you, sir.
00:44:18 - Thank you, sir.
00:44:19 Yes, Farah.
00:44:20 Mike coming right up.
00:44:25 - So Tina, you and I have been childhood friends
00:44:31 and I've known you right from the time
00:44:33 we were tiny tots.
00:44:35 The question to you is,
00:44:37 I never thought you would be a writer
00:44:39 because you never had any kind of,
00:44:42 you never showed any of those things
00:44:44 of wanting to be a writer.
00:44:46 I knew that you were going to be in the movie,
00:44:49 but what made you get into writing?
00:44:52 Because to switch from films to writing
00:44:56 and become a successful author
00:44:59 and make a name for yourself,
00:45:00 you're an inspiration to lots of people.
00:45:02 So tell us about why you switched to being a writer.
00:45:05 - Farah, if I'm honest,
00:45:06 my first ambition was to grow up and be Farah.
00:45:09 So that was what I wanted to be.
00:45:11 I ran away once to Delhi because Farah was in Delhi.
00:45:14 And I don't know if that's a good thing or not
00:45:17 that I didn't achieve that ambition.
00:45:18 So I didn't turn into Farah.
00:45:20 - I'm glad you did.
00:45:21 - I was always a reader,
00:45:23 but I never wanted to become a writer.
00:45:25 I wanted to become a charted accountant.
00:45:27 So I wanted to be basically Bimal Parikh
00:45:28 and have glasses and look at numbers.
00:45:30 But life took me in a different direction.
00:45:34 I was always a reader.
00:45:35 And I'd written half a book when I was about 18, 19.
00:45:39 And my mother's here.
00:45:41 So she has some floppy disk of this book.
00:45:45 And when I tell her now that,
00:45:46 "Mom, why didn't you encourage me?"
00:45:48 When I would show her my work,
00:45:49 she'd say, "But you're missing dance classes
00:45:51 "or go and thread your mustache,"
00:45:53 or things like this.
00:45:54 But now when I tell her this,
00:45:57 she's saying, "It's the right thing
00:45:59 "because you could be an actress at that age.
00:46:01 "And if suppose you were successful then,
00:46:03 "then what you would be doing now?"
00:46:04 So basically, she's tried to make me feel better
00:46:08 by saying that, "I set you up for failure
00:46:10 "so that now you're doing well."
00:46:11 - And your own talent as an actor
00:46:15 has nothing to do with it.
00:46:17 - You know, I've started doing this skit as Pinky Massey,
00:46:20 and actually I'm doing quite well.
00:46:22 So maybe if you give me any parts of like an old woman,
00:46:24 I can do that well.
00:46:26 - Yeah, I can't play all these hot, young, happening things
00:46:28 even when I was young, hot, and happening.
00:46:31 - Yes, we've seen.
00:46:32 Yes, yes ma'am.
00:46:36 - Hello ma'am, hello Karan.
00:46:39 - Hello.
00:46:40 - I actually have been reading your columns since DNA,
00:46:43 since the time we've been writing in DNA.
00:46:47 And I would like to say that
00:46:48 I'm a chartered accountant by profession,
00:46:50 but I want to become a writer.
00:46:52 I aspire to become a writer.
00:46:54 And the way you write, it's all very relevant.
00:46:58 I think it's very relevant across all generations.
00:47:02 The question which I would like to ask you is,
00:47:04 how different is your parenting style compared to your mom?
00:47:09 You know, when your mom raised you and your sister,
00:47:12 versus you raising your kids in today's times.
00:47:16 I think how similar you all are, how different are you all?
00:47:18 I mean, we would all like to know.
00:47:20 - I was raised by wolves.
00:47:23 Does that answer your question?
00:47:25 So everything, I think if you want to,
00:47:32 if your children, you want them to have good values,
00:47:35 you have to do two things.
00:47:35 Either you really have to imbibe those values
00:47:38 and be a really good role model,
00:47:41 or you have to be at another extreme
00:47:43 where you drink so much and you smoke so much
00:47:45 that you know your children get horrified
00:47:46 and say I never want to grow up to be like that.
00:47:48 So you have to choose one of these,
00:47:50 really virtuous or really, really deranged.
00:47:53 I can't say that my mother was deranged,
00:47:55 but what she did for me was she made sure
00:47:58 that I was very independent.
00:48:00 And she made sure that just by looking at her,
00:48:04 I never felt that as a woman I was incomplete,
00:48:08 or I needed a partner to be complete.
00:48:10 I was complete within myself.
00:48:12 And that was it, and I think that's carried me through.
00:48:16 - A big shootout to Dimple ma'am.
00:48:21 I mean, her work in all the movies
00:48:23 is something which we get to enjoy.
00:48:26 I mean, a big shootout to her as well.
00:48:28 And I think that independent, you know,
00:48:30 that trait that comes across in her writings quite often,
00:48:33 I think we all would agree.
00:48:35 Always come across as someone very independent
00:48:37 and very self-opinionated.
00:48:39 - Yeah, and homie, come on,
00:48:40 mommy's getting bored, make another movie quickly.
00:48:43 - Yes, Akshay, please.
00:48:47 Akshay has a question.
00:48:48 - Can I ask a question?
00:48:49 - Yes, yes, please.
00:48:50 (audience laughing)
00:48:52 - All right.
00:48:53 So, Tina,
00:48:54 (speaking in foreign language)
00:48:58 and you have also told me about it.
00:49:02 And so, all the main characters are all women.
00:49:05 So I just wanted to know whether men are irrelevant in...
00:49:09 (audience laughing)
00:49:12 - In your scheme of things.
00:49:14 - Is dessert irrelevant?
00:49:16 No, you need dessert, right, to be happy.
00:49:19 So men are important for us to enjoy ourselves and indulge.
00:49:24 And I think that a lot of this,
00:49:29 what I could do, including going to study,
00:49:32 I would not be able to do
00:49:33 if he hadn't supported me the way he has.
00:49:36 And I would have still done it,
00:49:37 but it would have been very difficult.
00:49:38 So he was always there.
00:49:40 He was, you know, he said, "You wanna do this?
00:49:42 "Fine, you do it."
00:49:43 And he didn't complain.
00:49:44 He didn't say, "You're taking my daughter," or whatever.
00:49:46 But he did get angry once, very angry, actually,
00:49:50 because wherever I go, stories follow me.
00:49:53 So I was in a building,
00:49:55 and I realized that the person living in that building
00:49:58 was somebody who'd been arrested by the FBI
00:50:01 for doing a thing called a Vatican scam.
00:50:04 And then I got fascinated,
00:50:05 and I started wanting to chase him
00:50:08 and get a story out of it.
00:50:09 And I then got another neighbor
00:50:11 who said that he was going to help me,
00:50:13 and we made this plan to take a bottle of wine
00:50:15 and knock on his door.
00:50:16 And this was going on, and I kept telling Akshay,
00:50:18 till this friend told me, you know,
00:50:20 I'd helped a journalist who was investigating
00:50:22 the Russians doing a visa scam,
00:50:24 and he got a great story.
00:50:25 They cut off his little finger,
00:50:26 but he got a great story.
00:50:27 And then Akshay had a fit,
00:50:29 and he said, "I'm not letting you do this.
00:50:31 "You're living there alone with my kid."
00:50:32 So that was the only time.
00:50:34 So he stops me if I'm just about to, you know,
00:50:37 fall off the cliff.
00:50:38 But till then, he's kind of there.
00:50:40 I don't know, maybe he hopes I fall off the cliff,
00:50:41 then he can get married again, but I'm not so sure.
00:50:44 - Thank you, Akshay, thank you very much
00:50:46 (audience applauding)
00:50:47 for making sure she falls off no cliff.
00:50:49 Yes?
00:50:50 - Hi, my name is Jane.
00:50:53 - Hi, Jane.
00:50:54 - Hi, I had an interesting question.
00:50:56 So your book begins with a reference to your nani.
00:50:59 So typically, they start their books
00:51:02 with the names of their spouses or something on that regard.
00:51:05 So what is the reference to your nani in this book?
00:51:07 And I think you mentioned it even later
00:51:08 that it's an ode to your grandmother.
00:51:10 So why is that so with this particular book?
00:51:13 - So the dedication to my nani basically says that,
00:51:17 nani, you can't read this book.
00:51:19 Nani can't read this book because she's dead
00:51:21 and she may not have bothered to if she were alive.
00:51:23 And it was going to end there,
00:51:24 but then my family took great offense,
00:51:26 so I had to write another line saying, we miss you.
00:51:28 This was all because of them.
00:51:29 So they made me write this, we miss you part,
00:51:31 so I don't sound callous.
00:51:32 Jelly Sweets, the last story is basically the story
00:51:37 that my grandmother told me about my great-grandmother
00:51:39 who lost her son and she got divorced.
00:51:42 And this is like back in the day
00:51:44 when it was a big scandal.
00:51:46 And then she found redemption
00:51:48 because she found this neighbor, she got married to him,
00:51:51 and then she had a dozen children
00:51:52 and so sort of happily ever after.
00:51:55 And I kept, and I'd taken notes
00:51:58 when my grandmother would speak about all her experiences,
00:52:01 her days in Saag Patti, how she grew up.
00:52:04 And when I was writing this book,
00:52:06 I thought that it was very important that I put this there
00:52:09 because I feel like I'm the last one who remembers.
00:52:12 And after me, there'll be no one left.
00:52:14 And that's why I think I wrote this book
00:52:16 and I had this in it.
00:52:18 - Thank you.
00:52:19 - We have time for two questions, ladies and gentlemen.
00:52:22 Yes, yes, ma'am.
00:52:24 - So, "Welcome to Paradise" is your fourth book.
00:52:28 So I just want to know, what is that one ritual
00:52:32 that you're called out throughout this story?
00:52:34 Writing ritual.
00:52:37 - Writing ritual, I wake up very early,
00:52:39 I have lots of coffee and I can write till about 11 o'clock
00:52:44 and then my neurons go on strike
00:52:46 because I don't give them enough carbohydrates.
00:52:48 That's the truth.
00:52:49 So that's my ritual.
00:52:50 I can't really write after 11 a.m.
00:52:53 - There's one gentleman there that wanted to ask, yes.
00:52:58 - Hello, ma'am, hello, sir.
00:53:03 My name is Yahya, I'm a writer.
00:53:05 - Please ask him a question.
00:53:06 - I don't want to answer any questions, please.
00:53:09 - Ma'am, I'd just like to ask you this one question.
00:53:11 So the overall theme, there is death
00:53:14 as an overall theme goes along there.
00:53:16 And whenever we talk about that,
00:53:17 it brings a certain intensity of weight to the story.
00:53:20 So how do you manage that it doesn't change
00:53:22 or affect the theme of your overall story?
00:53:25 So if you could answer that, thank you.
00:53:29 - No, people think that death is very tragic,
00:53:32 but as human beings,
00:53:34 our capacity to grieve and suffer is limited.
00:53:37 So even if you go to a funeral after some time,
00:53:39 you'll start seeing people trying to make jokes.
00:53:42 I went to a funeral once where there was a music composer
00:53:44 who started composing his song
00:53:46 and telling people to come and listen to it.
00:53:48 And he's a very bad music composer, so it was even worse.
00:53:52 People who are not grieving started grieving.
00:53:54 So I think that if you look at life carefully,
00:53:58 we think that these are very serious things,
00:54:00 but everybody has to die.
00:54:02 And we all have to grieve,
00:54:03 and it's part of life, joy and grief.
00:54:05 So you just take it in your stride
00:54:06 and you take it in your stories in the same way, balance it.
00:54:10 - Wonderful, but the last question here.
00:54:12 To the lady in blue.
00:54:14 (speaking in foreign language)
00:54:18 Though we can hear you.
00:54:22 - Shall I?
00:54:25 Hi, Tina.
00:54:25 - Oh, sorry, we're just gonna finish with that.
00:54:28 Now that you stood up, go ahead.
00:54:30 We'll come right back.
00:54:32 - So Tina, I've read all your books, yeah?
00:54:35 Well, I'm almost through with this one.
00:54:36 And I've actually, I mean, you've spoken a lot about,
00:54:40 you know, when you were starting
00:54:41 to write your first book and so on.
00:54:42 And so you've really evolved as a writer.
00:54:45 And you've gone from funny to deep
00:54:47 to even like "Bordering on the Dark"
00:54:49 and I think this one, which I'm reading currently.
00:54:53 So where do you see yourself going from here?
00:54:54 What's next for you?
00:54:57 - Why am I starting to feel like I'm some iPhone
00:54:59 that you now, you know, iPhone version 13
00:55:01 and then your iPhone version 14?
00:55:04 I don't know, I'll just keep going down this path.
00:55:07 I'm curious about the world.
00:55:08 I'm curious about how things work.
00:55:10 My husband keeps telling me,
00:55:11 why do you keep asking why, why, why about everything?
00:55:13 But that's my nature.
00:55:14 And I guess till I don't answer all these questions,
00:55:16 I'll keep writing.
00:55:18 - As you must.
00:55:19 Thank you, ma'am.
00:55:20 And the last question here.
00:55:22 - So I just wanna ask you, I'm very curious to know
00:55:23 how did you develop such a sharp
00:55:26 and amazing sense of humor?
00:55:29 And for aspiring writers, do you have any tips
00:55:32 on how we can develop this wit?
00:55:34 - You have to hang out with Karan.
00:55:36 He's my guru and then everything comes easily.
00:55:39 Yeah.
00:55:40 He's the master of wit.
00:55:41 He's actually much funnier than I am.
00:55:43 He's spontaneous.
00:55:45 And yeah, I admire him.
00:55:47 I look up to him.
00:55:48 I copy everything he does.
00:55:49 And see, he was wearing gray, so I wore gray.
00:55:51 - On that note, thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
00:55:56 And give it up to Twinkle.
00:55:58 (audience applauding)
00:56:02 Literally her return to paradise
00:56:04 because for every author, paradise is home.
00:56:08 And we're glad to have another book
00:56:11 that's going to hit all the charts.
00:56:13 You are immensely talented, my love.
00:56:16 And I hope that you grow from strength to strength.
00:56:18 And may the force of creation always be with you.
00:56:22 All right.
00:56:25 We would like to request the three wonderful
00:56:27 and illustrious ladies to join us for a photo op.
00:56:32 We would also like to invite.
00:56:34 (people chattering)
00:56:38 (paper rustling)
00:56:41 (people chattering)
00:56:44 (people chattering)
00:56:47 (people chattering)
00:56:50 (people chattering)
00:56:53 (people chattering)
00:56:57 (people chattering)
00:57:00 (people chattering)
00:57:03 - Ready, please.
00:57:28 Look center.
00:57:29 (people chattering)
00:57:58 (speaking in foreign language)
00:58:02 - I'm very, very happy.
00:58:09 I'm glad that people like my work and they read it.
00:58:13 And I'm not very nervous now.
00:58:16 (speaking in foreign language)
00:58:20 (speaking in foreign language)
00:58:24 (speaking in foreign language)
00:58:32 (speaking in foreign language)
00:58:49 (speaking in foreign language)
00:58:53 (speaking in foreign language)
00:59:04 (speaking in foreign language)
00:59:18 (speaking in foreign language)
00:59:21 - You know, please welcome to paradise.
00:59:23 And I've said, there is something in this
00:59:26 which will make you reflect on your own relationships
00:59:29 within the family, with your friends.
00:59:31 And I hope you enjoy this.
00:59:32 That's all.
00:59:33 Thank you so much.
00:59:34 - Thank you, madam.
00:59:35 Thank you so much.
00:59:36 (speaking in foreign language)
00:59:40 - About the plan.
00:59:43 - Madam, just one line.
00:59:44 You said.
00:59:45 (speaking in foreign language)
00:59:49 - Jaggu dada, please come, please come.
00:59:58 - I don't have anything to say.
01:00:00 Thank you very much.
01:00:01 - Welcome to paradise.
01:00:02 Would you like to add something about the paradise?
01:00:04 - Welcome to paradise, yes.
01:00:06 And I'm happy to say that I am in paradise
01:00:08 and I'm enjoying every single minute of it.
01:00:10 Thank you.
01:00:11 - Thank you, madam.
01:00:12 Thank you so much.
01:00:13 - Rolling?
01:00:14 - Yes.
01:00:15 - Okay.
01:00:16 Welcome to paradise.
01:00:16 I can't wait to read this book.
01:00:18 I'm so excited.
01:00:20 And I'm gonna finish this today.
01:00:22 All the best, TK.
01:00:23 - Thank you.
01:00:25 - And lastly, do you think,
01:00:26 (speaking in foreign language)
01:00:30 - I think our books are so relatable
01:00:35 and (speaking in foreign language)
01:00:37 I'm sure (speaking in foreign language)
01:00:39 - Okay, great.
01:00:40 Thank you.
01:00:41 - Bye. - Bye.