Grammy nominated and platinum selling recording artist Bill Engvall is taking a bow. The renown comedian is entertaining | dG1fRE9XSWd1NGdWOW8
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Short filmTranscript
00:00 My lovely bride and I have been married for 40 years.
00:02 The other day she came and she goes,
00:03 I think you need to get your hearing tested.
00:05 And I said, what?
00:07 (audience laughing)
00:08 (upbeat music)
00:11 I was getting a Christian studies major.
00:15 Why does a Christian studies major even need a math class?
00:19 I called the professor in his office.
00:21 I said, I've been wanting to ask you something
00:22 since I've started this class.
00:24 He said, what's that?
00:25 I said, well, my time on this planet's up.
00:27 And I go to meet St. Peter.
00:29 I said, is he gonna give me a math problem to do?
00:33 He said, probably not.
00:34 I said, so you're telling me then
00:36 that this university has a stricter admissions policy
00:39 than heaven does.
00:40 (audience laughing)
00:41 (upbeat music)
00:44 I texted with my daughter for three years
00:45 before I realized IDK meant I don't know.
00:48 I would say, we miss you baby, when you coming back?
00:50 And she would type IDK, MU and the number two.
00:54 And I'm like, I the moon.
00:57 (audience laughing)
00:59 MU to me.
01:00 And I go, yeah, what the hell is she saying?
01:03 She's saying, I don't know, but I miss you too.
01:06 And that was so sweet.
01:07 And I wish I'd have known that
01:08 before I wrote her out of the will.
01:10 (audience laughing)
01:11 (upbeat music)
01:14 On the 12th tee box of this golf course,
01:16 there's a sign that says,
01:18 caution, aggressive goose give wide berth.
01:21 So we hit our tee shots and we're walking on the fairway.
01:23 Sure enough, here come that goose.
01:25 And he looked me in the eye and he went,
01:27 (imitates goose)
01:29 And I looked at him and I went,
01:31 (imitates goose)
01:33 And then he started running at me,
01:34 which I gotta be honest with you,
01:35 I wasn't really ready for that.
01:36 (audience laughing)
01:37 He dive bombed, he's on my face like,
01:40 (imitates goose)
01:41 Beckoning and slapping his wings.
01:42 I'm like, get him off me.
01:44 She goes, I can't, I'm being my pants.
01:46 (audience laughing)
01:48 (upbeat music)
01:51 (upbeat music)
01:53 (dramatic music)
01:56 (eerie music)